Ancestral Mediumship: Healing Family Patterns, Generational Trauma, and the Stories Your Ancestors Left Behind

A death in the family can leave more than grief. It can leave questions that hit like a wave: Who were they really? Where did we come from? Why do the same emotional patterns keep showing up in our lives even when we’ve “done the work”?

We start with a real moment supporting a close friend after her grandfather passed, and the painful realization that a small family can also mean a small archive of stories. From there, we open up what ancestral mediumship can actually do beyond a comforting message: tapping into ancestors for evidence, family timelines, personalities, and the missing context that never gets written down. If you love genealogy, ancestry research, and spiritual tools like spirit guides and the Akashic Records, this conversation connects those threads in a grounded, practical way.

Then we go personal. We share how digging into records and listening to spirit pointed to a specific family line, revealing a repeating mother-loss pattern across generations and what that can create in the living: a “mother wound,” emotional immaturity, and sadness that feels unexplained. We also talk epigenetics and inherited nervous system responses, plus why understanding the origin can help you stop reacting and start healing. And we balance it with the other side of lineage work: the resilience, creativity, and survival that made your existence possible.

If any part of your family story feels blank, heavy, or stuck on repeat, press play and see what your ancestry is trying to tell you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s doing the deep work, and leave a review telling us what pattern you’re ready to break.

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MEET NICOLE

Nicole is an evidential medium and former corporate executive who blends data, systems, and spirit communication after her son began seeing the dead. She’s obsessed with exposing the hidden patterns and frequencies keeping you stuck, and recoding them so you can finally live the life your soul designed for you. She offers private readings, mentorship, and classes in mediumship, spiritual growth, and soul-aligned business. 

Click here to learn more & connect with Nicole: http://links.mediumnicole.com

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

Oh, welcome back to the Unity Code podcast. Spirit showed up before I did today. This is an interesting way to start this podcast episode. I hope that that ding was recorded for all of you. Um This is uh how do I start this podcast episode? My friend, my close friend, lost her grandfather last week. Um and so uh I'm like I want to say it was a rough week for me, but obviously it was a much more rough week for her and her family, mainly because her family is so small and she takes on a lot of the brunt of the family uh herself, because her family is so small, and she's really, really sensitive to her family and loves everyone so fiercely and deeply. And so at the news of her grandfather passing, even though she knew that was where it was going, even though she knew that he's

A Friend’s Grief And A Question

SPEAKER_01 1:11

been really sick for a while, and like he's he was up there in age as well. And so, so even though she knew that this was the ultimate, you know, end game of the current circumstances of her grandfather, it was still a really big energetic hit for her. Now, this is a friend of mine that is not as interested in the metaphysical work. She is um very religious and comes from a very religious family. And so we don't really talk too much about, you know, me and what I do, but I still love and respect her as a friend and it goes both ways. And so last week, as I kind of did all hands on deck to just help her uh take over whatever she had on her plate that I could take over. Um it was just really interesting. Um, having the dynamic of taking care of somebody that isn't that isn't necessarily like believes in heaven, believes in life after death, but doesn't necessarily, you know, believe in mediumship as much, which is fine, you know, to each their own. That doesn't bother me too much. But she had said something that really caught my attention today. And because again, her family is so small, and because this is through a family member that I believe had passed. Like I think I don't know, I don't know who. Um, yep. Okay. Um, this would be her her dad's dad, and her dad has already passed. Um, she doesn't know a lot about her grandfather or where she came from. And she said that. She said she didn't learn too much about her culture. She knew a little bit about her grandmother, um, but really doesn't know the story about her grandfather at all, um, what his story is, where the family came from. Like I think she might know that on paper, but doesn't really know too much about the history of this of the family. And it really got me thinking. It really got me thinking about how powerful this work is. And most people have no idea. Because immediately I replied, she didn't take the bait. I tried. I was like, this is where the stuff that I do can really be beneficial for you because we can tap into the family, right? We can, we can talk to your ancestors, we can learn about the family line, we can gather evidence about the ancestry, the dates, maybe names, where they traveled from, you know, jobs, things that would show up in census that would be like validation and evidence that would allow her to be able to know and understand the history of her family. Because once you have just like a mediumship reading, a little bit of evidence, then we can go into the stories. We can go into the things that aren't written down, we can go into the personalities, the personas, the strengths, the toxicity, the patterns, right? The messages that they have for you here in the physical

What Ancestral Mediumship Can Do

SPEAKER_01 4:23

world. And to be completely honest with all of you, there's not a lot that mediumship can't do. But I think that that makes it really difficult to talk about because a lot of people think that's just this little box of I talk to your dead relatives, I talk to your dead grandparents, I talk to your, you know, dead friend family and friends and prove that they exist and give you a loving message. And that's kind of that's it, folks. Send them home. Nothing else to see here, right? But the reality is so different because once you learn the language of spirit and you learn how to communicate with the things that you can't see in the 3D generally, and you learn how to talk to loved ones and guides and Akashic Records, you can uncover the stories that were lost in the family lineage. I mean, there's a whole lot more that I'm gonna talk about, but I'm mainly gonna talk about ancestors in this podcast episode because I don't think people realize how much you can fucking tap into about your ancestors. All right. Uh hopefully this is a long story short. It might be a long story long. I don't know where this is gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

But here's a personal story about how fucking transformational this work is.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Okay. My own personal story with my ancestors. Okay. Before I started working in this field, before I knew I was a medium, I was deeply obsessed with the ancestry of my family. Should have been my like biggest indicator that this is where I was going. Um, ever since I was a little girl, and I did a report on my great-grandmother who immigrated from Italy to the United States. Um, I was obsessed. And so as I got older and as I had some time on my hand, right? Before kids, obviously, and as ancestry.com started rolling out, I was interested as fuck in that. And so I signed up, and my history of data analysis like was my superpower in the Ancestry space because I was able to whip through all the documents so quickly. This is before they had these hints and all the fancy things that are on Ancestry. This is years and years and years ago. And so I was able to very quickly uncover essentially the family lineages across my line, you know, my mom and dad's line, my husband's line, you know, his mom and dad, and really like go

My Obsession With Family Records

SPEAKER_01 7:03

back significantly far in the discovery of my ancestors. And like the good news is a lot of my stuff was out there. And I know, um, yeah, I probably got a thing wrong or two, you know, a thing or two wrong. Um, but for the most part, I was able to follow the trail back very far in all sides of the family until I got to Germany. I couldn't do that. Um everything was in German, everything wasn't translated yet. Now it's different, I bet. Um, and then I couldn't trace a lot of stuff back in the Irish side of the house because of um the fires that they had in their storage, um, like in the churches where they stored a lot of the vital records, etc. So I I hit some dead ends in certain avenues of the family, but for the most part, I uncovered a whole fucking lot about my family. I uncovered so much that my family got wrong when they were verbally telling the stories of my family. So, case in point, uh, I was always told that my Italian ancestors came over on the boat from Italy in in uh 1928. 1928, they all came over on the boat. I still have their furniture here. Like, this is how much I love the ancestry. Whenever like somebody dies, I'm so I'm that weirdo. Give the shit to me. I want it. I want to keep the traditions in the family, right? Giant green flag. Should have been a medium all along. When I did the ancestry research, they did not come over on the boat in 1918. They came over in 19 or 1928, they came over in 1913. Right there in the records, clear as day, 1913. Right. Um, and it was the same with so many other areas of my family. So I loved, I loved the discovering of the data and having the sheets and seeing the history on paper for my family. And so as I started working in the space, and I started doing a lot of the inevitable personal transformation that comes when you're in the space, the personal healing, the growth, removing of frequencies, vibrations, and or if you like these words, better behaviors, patterns, um, trauma that is kind of sent down through the line and also included in this lifetime. You know, I did a lot of work on myself. I did a lot of work clear clearing and healing and trying to remove all of these densities that weren't mine to begin with. And I worked really hard years and years on that. And then I got to the point where I'm like, I did a lot of this shit. I did a lot of this shit. Why am I so sad all the time? And I might have said this before in another podcast episode, but I'm sad all the time. What is going on with me? And so I tapped into spirit. Actually, Rachel, it was Rachel, it wasn't spirit. Rachel, the good witch of the Northeast. I was, I kind of like threw it by her. I was like, why am I so sad all the time? And she's like, Oh, you got a mother wound. And I was like, Well, who fucking doesn't? Like, who doesn't have a mother wound? Can you can you point me to somebody that doesn't have a mother wound? I'm fucking jealous. We all have mother wounds. That's the whole point, right? We're supposed to traumatize our kids. I'm so sorry, my kids. But you're supposed to have a mother wound, right? And so I'm like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. And so one day I was sitting here meditating, and I was like, I'm gonna ask Spirit, why am I so sad, Spirit? And they pointed to again, my second great grandmother. Fucking awesome. I have those records. Cool. So I start opening up my ancestry app. I start opening up my family tree, and they said it's the Quebec one. Like they said it was Quebec. I'm like, cool. So I open up to my Quebec, my ancestors in the French Canadian province of Quebec. Oh, sorry, that's what they speak, Quebec, Quebec. Um, and I open up that and I looked at it a whole new way before. Because Spirit kind of pointed me in the exact direction I needed to know and uncover. Because what I uncovered was that there was like four or five generations in a row in that side of my family, in that family line, where the mother had died before the daughter came to age. And so, like, generation after generation after generation after generation of mothers that would die while the daughter was under 15. Like seven years old, 14 years old. I think maybe one was 17.

Spirit Points To A Mother Wound

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Like they were all very young when their mother died. And so when you like tracked that down through my mother's family line, because this is her family line, I also uncovered that my grandmother was the first child, the first child and the first daughter of a very, very alcoholic dad. Right? And so, like, you can see how this mother wound passed down from generation to generation to generation because no one ever had the experience of having a mature mother. Can we put that out there? That's probably very true and very real in my family line. No one was able to see a woman come into like the age, the era of the crone and own her shit, right? There was none of that. There was no crone energy, no like wise old woman energy that came down that family line to teach people, to show people patience, to show people love, right? And so when you look at the mother wound that exists within my family, there is a lack of mature feminine energy. Ding, says spirit. And so being able to connect to spirit, to point out the generations, to point out exactly where the breadcrumb trail was. And then for me to like, you know, back it up with data. I probably could have done this without data, but it's me and I probably wouldn't have believed myself. But you can tap into spirit to understand what is the generational trauma that exists. And I'm able to tap into those ancestors and I'm able to tap into those relatives and I'm able to ask them questions. And I'm able to like send them the love that they never had. Not that they necessarily need it in the spirit world, but I'm able to send them the love. I'm able to forgive them. I'm able to forgive the energetic ties that have been sent down, the energetic frequencies, vibrations that have impacted the literal DNA, epigenetics, everybody of who I am today. And by sending the love frequencies and by forgiving the ancestors and by realizing that they did the best what they fucking could create so much healing inside my physical energetic being. By being able to see that history in my own family line changed the way I looked at all the women in my family. No wonder there is an emotional immaturity within the women. No offense, if you're listening, family, but it's true, you'll be the first one to admit it, I know. In that side of the family. There is not an emotional maturity among women in that family. And if there are, there's pockets where the people have done the healing themselves, like me. Was that emotionally mature? That allowed me to heal, right? Ding. So this is what I'm talking about when I'm saying the type of work that you can do with ancestors in the spiritual space is that you can tap in and uncover data. You can tap in and uncover stories, you can tap in and uncover the unhealed trauma that exists in your family line that still impacts you today.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

And you can heal it. And you can move on.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

And you don't have to let the story, or in my case, the sadness, ding ding be part of who you are anymore. Because here's here is like the uh this is something that I'm coming to terms with. I'm I mainly say coming to terms with because I'm personally very angry about this. It has impacted me directly. Um and this is this is the stubborn Nicole coming out right now. So don't mind me for a second. This is like the boohoo, so, so sad Nicole story. But the reality is that epigenetics is literally changing the DNA and having DNA send down like frequency across generations. Uh, there's some crazy story. Uh God, I wish I did research on the science before this, but there's a lot of crazy epigenetic stories that are out there. Um, and a few of them are like they did testing in mice. I know it's not the best thing. Not great, not ethical. I get it. Still probably better than testing it in humans, but I digress. So they they tested mice and they made like they combined poison with like some sort of a flower or smell. And so, like, there was so eventually the mice were terrified of the smell because they knew that smell or whatever this flower was meant that it

Epigenetics And Inherited Survival Patterns

SPEAKER_01 16:51

was that it was like impending death because they figured that out. The mice were smart enough to do that. And what that energetically did was like change the DNA of these mice so that as these mice had babies across, you know, generations of mice babies, later generations of the mice babies were so terrified of that smell still, even though it that smell had never been introduced to them. Right. And so you can see it in like test subjects of mice. I might have gotten that story a little bit wrong, but I feel like it was 99% there. But there is something to that, right? There is something that happens historically in our family lineage that literally changes the DNA DNA, and then we were fucking born into it. And it is so much our normal because we are born into it. It's not like something that popped up that was traumatic along the way that we can point to in readings and be like, I can see that this horrible thing happened when you were three years old, and this is why this pattern exists for you today. It's worse because there's nothing to point to. There's no event to point to. This is where the ancestral work comes in magnificently. Past life too. Again, I'm not going down that rabbit hole. But this is where using these tools to uncover these hidden things that are like encoded in our DNA and where did it come from? And as soon as you acknowledge it, it changes the DNA of it. I know that sounds wild, but it's true. It's true because I've seen it in myself. Because as soon as you release that energetic pattern, it changes the vibration of certain things in your DNA, and then it's less prevalent. So it might still, like, I don't know genetics that well. It might still be literally written or encoded in your DNA, but it's not going to be activated the same way that it was. Because your nervous system has learned to react to it. So we essentially have turned off the nervous system reaction to what has happened because you understand it, because now there's safety in this. You know where it comes from. It's not some unexplained thing that you don't know where it comes from anymore. If you know the safety in it and you realize that, oh, it's not actually here to harm me. Got it. Okay, cool. I can stop reacting to that. I can shut it off.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

And also not everything that we uncover about our ancestry is bad. You exist. You exist.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

Because this one sperm, sorry, and this one egg, sorry, sorry, that was created in your grandmother got together at the right time in the right place. Do you know how many sperm? I mean, I don't want to go down there, but do you know how many sperm are in competition with the one that created you? Across how many times? We're just gonna put that there, right? Do you know how many eggs your grandmother had to like make in order for like you to be the one that was selected? Right? Do you know like how many other sperm and eggs needed to be created to like create your parents and their parents and their parents? Right? Like you are literally the divine orchestration across generations

The Strength You Carry Forward

SPEAKER_01 20:41

and generations of history. You are here because you are exactly the right person, soul, combination of sperm and egg that are supposed to be here right now. Right. And you exist because your grandparents found a way to find food during World War II, right? During the Great Depression. Your grandparents, you know, your great-grandparents immigrated before World War I to make sure that the family was safe, right? Like think about everything, not only genetically, like physically, like how you were created and what the fucking odds are of that, right? But also number two, think about the strength that your family brings down the line, everything that they've they've endured, everything they've gone through, everything that they've, you know, had shitty circumstances on and were able to overcome it, right? Think about how creative people had to be in order to feed the families. Think about your family. If you're from Ireland, you know, maybe, maybe they they survived the famine, right? They survived war. They survived like destitution.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

You are the product of fucking family that has persevered.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

And so, yeah, there's A lot of fucking depth to the ancestral work. I can see why, like Rachel, the Good Witch of the Northeast, has her whole business around ancestral lineage. And that's why I just want to say, like, there is so much more depth to this work than meets the eye. And if you know how to tap into mediumship, you can do everything I fucking said today.

SPEAKER_00 22:21

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

You can. That's part of why I teach it the way I do, is because you're just learning the language. And then once you learn the language, you can tap into literally everything. Literally everything. I mean, you might need somebody to hand handhold you the first time, but you have the capability of doing so. And so to answer my friend's question, even though she wasn't interested in what I had to offer her, which is fine. Could you like, could you? Oh my god. I just love the variety of friends I get. But when someone comes to me and says, Spirit likes the variety of my friends too. When someone comes to me and says, I wish I knew more about that end of the family, that line of the family, this is what we can help with. We can help with understanding personalities and likes and so much more. Understanding trauma, understanding healing, understanding strengths, understanding how you are the product and how you carry all of these beautiful things with you. And how your ancestors are so proud of you from a mediumship standpoint. And that you are the exact person they have been waiting for. And I know that sounds dramatic. And I know that sounds like some Instagram bullshit, right? I've seen it. I've seen it in readings. You are the ancestor. You are the descendant your ancestors have been waiting for. Because you're going to do it differently, because you know better, because you can tap into endless information from spirit, and you can grow and change way faster than they ever had the opportunity to. And then side note, this is why it's so difficult to talk about what I do. Right? Right? Right. Right. Because I don't just talk to the dead, I do all this shit too. And then I do this with past lives. And you're galactic, galactic past lives, right? Galactic ancestry. And then we can talk about angels and the same thing as well, right? Like, so it's wild. It's fucking wild. So if you are somebody like me that has trouble talking about like how fucking deep this work is and how you can go in so many different ways and directions with it, like this, like we need you. If you can eloquently talk about this, I need you in my life. Please teach me how you talk about this work because it's transformational at every fucking level. It's so much bigger and broader than anything that you could ever imagine. Because one thing that I have realized to be true about the spirit world is that the limit does not exist. It's like the line in mean girls, okay? The limit does not exist. Anything that you think is a limitation is not. Anything that you think you can't do, you can. The only

Why This Work Defies Labels

SPEAKER_01 25:26

limitation we have is our ability to get out of our own fucking way and to get into our creative mind space. And so if you're wondering what the relationship with my team looks like, it's like, how do I do that? Show me how. What does that mean? Help me understand this.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

How do I heal XYZ? Because the vastness of knowledge that exists can never be found out.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

It can't. Our brains cannot handle it. So yeah, this work is fucking deep. It's fucking huge. It's a giant, massive fucking ocean, and I am here for this. I will be the little mermaid in the middle of that ocean, swimming along, trying to see the whole ocean while I'm in it, because I love that. So I hope this helps you understand the depth that comes into ancestral work as you're working with medianship, as you're working with, you know, spirit guides, akoshic records, doesn't even matter. Like, doesn't even matter what modality you use because you can tap into those departed loved ones, you can tap into the energetic frequencies, which is a whole modality unto itself. Then I'm trying to figure out how do I name this? How do I talk about this? Um, how do you tap into the vibrational frequencies of your ancestral lineage and you know, where what are you carrying forward? How can we heal that for you? Um, there is so much you can do in the ancestral line. So if this is calling to you, set up a session. Uh, I would recommend if we're talking about this, I would do the soul mediumship session because I know that you want to talk to your ancestral line and we can uncover specific people, specific lineages, specific traumas and trends and behaviors and work on healing those. Um and so this is why. Come to me with problems, and I'll tell you how to fix it. It's what I do. It's what I do. All right, I'm gonna end it here. I love you all. Uh, tap into that beautiful ancestor of yours that keeps popping up in your mind during this episode. Just gonna put that out there. All right, take care. Have a beautiful day.