I Thought I Was an Introvert… But Spirit Told Me I Was Avoiding My Purpose

A new pair of “giant earmuff” headphones kicks off a surprisingly deep conversation: why being introverted can feel like a daily battle with small talk, parties, and the kind of networking that makes your whole body say no. I’m Nicole, and I share the blunt truth of living as a “go deep or go home” person who’d rather hide than perform polite conversation, plus the moment a client call sparked a mindset shift I can’t unsee. 

Here’s the reframe that changed everything for me: Spirit sends us people on purpose. Not just the obvious big moments, but the random line at the grocery store, the awkward seatmate at a school event, even the tense spaces where someone is being cruel and the whole room feels it. When I treat those encounters as part of a bigger web of soul contracts, energy, and healing, I stop asking how fast I can escape and start asking what I’m meant to notice, soften, or say. Sometimes it’s a joke that releases pressure. Sometimes it’s silent support. Sometimes it’s mediumship and waiting for the “green light” before going deeper. 

We also go into intuition in real life, including a story from my college days that still gives me chills, and why anger can be the first spark of soul alignment when we’ve been trained to shrink. If you’ve ever felt like your sensitivity, intensity, or “I don’t like people” vibe is a flaw, this is an invitation to see it as a superpower with better boundaries and clearer purpose. 

Subscribe to Unity Code, share this with an introvert friend, and leave a review if it hits. What’s one social situation you want to handle differently this week?

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Nicole is an evidential medium and former corporate executive who blends data, systems, and spirit communication after her son began seeing the dead. She’s obsessed with exposing the hidden patterns and frequencies keeping you stuck, and recoding them so you can finally live the life your soul designed for you. She offers private readings, mentorship, and classes in mediumship, spiritual growth, and soul-aligned business. 

Click here to learn more & connect with Nicole: http://links.mediumnicole.com

Transcript

Headphones, Humor, And Better Audio

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Unity Code podcast. I'm your host, Nicole. And if you are watching on the video on YouTube today, you see a difference in me. And for those of you not watching on the video today, I am now sporting a new pair of headphones that make me look like I'm in the middle of a New England winter. It looks like a giant pair of earmuffs. And yet I am doing so to continue to evolve and grow and continue to improve the quality of this podcast by making me listen to myself while I'm recording the podcast episode. Is it deeply uncomfortable? Yes, it is. To answer your question that you were thinking, but um I can already tell it's going to make a big difference. So I'm excited to be here with all of you. Feel free to send me the hilarious memes. Tell me how ridiculous it looks. I agree with you. I will always make fun of myself first. So here we go. I just got off a client call for a sovereign soul session. And I wanted to pop on here to talk about something that came up in that reading that was has been hugely beneficial for me. And I know it will be hugely beneficial for the client that just received this information and the suggestion from Spirit. And it's so interesting how, gosh, this information comes out. But what I want to talk about is how I was able to shift my introvertedness significantly through a different perspective and lens that Spirit has given me. It is a game changer. And so if we're talking about me and my history with introvertedness, I think by now you probably know that it's for me, it's like go deep or go home. Like I don't want to have small talk. I don't want to go to networking events. I don't want to go to parties.

Why Small Talk Feels Miserable

SPEAKER_00 2:12

I've never been a party person at all in my life because, you know, obviously the energy can overwhelm me, but mostly it's because I can't do surface level shit. I can't have surface-level conversations. I don't want to talk about the weather. I don't want to gossip. I don't want to talk about the drama that's in people's lives. I exist solely to help people transform. I know this. I know this about me. It has always been who I am. And so the idea of getting into a small room with people andor a big networking event when I worked in corporate America was fucking cringe for me. Like had a family specifically so that I could skip all those goddamn happy hours. Truly. And I knew for a fact that I would never go anywhere in corporate America andor networking because I loathe it. It takes a certain type of person to love talking to everybody. And I say that as somebody whose spouse, my husband, is that person. He loves networking. He loves talking to people. A lot of my closest friends fucking love talking to my people. My my best friend Kim, oh my God, she's a hairstylist. She can talk to people all day long. She can just walk up to random strangers on the street and have this beautiful, little, polite, amazing conversation with them that is so surface level, but like for her, the energy feels totally different. And I'm gonna get to that in a second. And so for me, small talk has been the bane of my existence. That continues to be true at this current stage in my life. And I find myself now more than ever really hating talking to people. And so about six months ago, I would say about now. Yeah, six months ago, I had this deep knowing and perspective shift that came with this work. And that perspective shift was that I am here to serve spirit in every moment of every day. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, whoever I encounter in my life, I am meant to encounter, and I am meant to engage with because spirit has sent them my way. So essentially, Spirit told me, put your big girl pants on because the people that we're sending to you is on purpose and you're supposed to engage and talk with them. That is the point of us sending you people. You can imagine how well that idea and thought settled into my energy. Like, let's be honest here. I was like, fuck. So first of all, I was like, that is an amazing fucking revelation. And also, I really had to mull that over and come to terms to really understand what that meant.

The Belief Shift: Spirit Sends People

SPEAKER_00 5:37

So I want to give a few examples of what I ran through as I was thinking about how spirit sends people my way. Do we all know about Massachusetts drivers, New England drivers, everybody? We're assholes up here. Like you, oh God, we're just assholes. We will be tailing you. We will be going 80 minute minimum on the highway, right? We don't use blinkas because you know, I'm not going to say blinker. We don't use blinkas on the highway, right? We are just generally assholes when it comes to driving. It's kind of like each man slash woman for themselves is how you have to approach driving in New England. And as someone who drove in Boston every day, yes, this is absolutely true. Absolutely. And so as I think back about how I drive, I attract the crazies. So much so that my husband and I have had conversations about how I attract the crazy fucking drivers that aren't paying attention. And I have like cued this up or like stocked this up to the sixth sense that I have my intuition about that person's gonna drive crazy. I'm gonna slow down, I'm gonna give a little distance, and inevitably they will shift into my lane without looking exactly where I was. And, you know, thank goodness I slowed down a little because they would have definitely hit me. Ding. And so, you know, I'm thinking about these examples, and then I bring it back to this time in college when I was driving to my job at Starbucks, and I'm in Worcester, Massachusetts. And if Worcester is full of hills, it's like the seven hills, right? And so I'm driving on this road and I see a very steep hill to my right as I'm driving, and I see two kids on a bike flying down this hill, and I'm watching

A Bike Crash That Proved It

SPEAKER_00 7:30

them, and I'm like, there's no fucking way that kid's gonna stop. There's no fucking way that kid's gonna stop. And the first, first of the two boys on the bike slowed down enough to stop at the bottom of this very steep hill on his bike. I don't know how the fuck he did that. It was very, very steep, and like, no doubt conditions of the road are not great, probably covered with sand, probably lots of bumps. So I don't know how this first kid stopped. The second kid did not stop. The second kid went flying down, hit the flat part of the road that I was on from the steep part, wiped out his bike, went flying, he went flying, and this was all right in front of me because I saw him come down this hill and I knew he was not gonna stop. And so I essentially stopped traffic because I could see this happening in my head. And I stopped traffic, and inevitably that kid wipes out, but there were no cars driving by. So he was okay. There was, and so like I pulled over, I checked to see if he was okay. He was okay. I mean, he was not okay, but he, you know, he was like a 13-year-old kid. He wasn't gonna tell this random stranger pulling out of a, you know, stepping out of a car that he's that they're not okay. And he looked like he was okay. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna leave it. Looks like it was just a little road rash, didn't look like anything was broken. And so, you know, I made sure he was okay. I kept driving on my way to work. And that's what Spirit kept showing me when they're showing me that they send me people because Spirit can trust me with helping to give the lessons that they need to learn in a very safe way, which is exactly the story of this kid on a bike. I knew that he was gonna wipe out. He needed to learn the lesson that he needs to be safer on his bike. And so I was there to create that safe experience for him to wipe out, but not get fucking killed, not get sent to the hospital and allow him to realize a lesson of what he did in a very safe way. Okay. So that was kind of my indoctrination into this idea that spirit sends me people, and I don't always know why, and I don't always know how. But I know that my job is to simply show up and be the person that I'm supposed to be. I feel like I want to pause for a break here. I'm gonna take a sip of my coffee. Hang on a second. I just want to like let that land for all of you for a moment while I sip my coffee and think about how you have ended up in similar situations where people have been sent your way and you feel like it's been on purpose, even though you you were like thought about it. And I'm here to tell you like, think about that situation right now while I sip my coffee and notice how different it feels now that you know that can be true. Mm-hmm. How's that landing in your energy field now? And so if if I'm reflecting back on that and I'm like fair, and there's a few other circumstances that are like different but the same circumstances, fair, I can start to see this trend in my history where spirit has sent me people to learn lessons from, to learn perspectives from. And I'm not saying like I'm like the Dalai Lama, by all means, no, but I can create the scenarios and circumstances that allow people to grow and change, which is what I fucking want to do anyway, right? And so as we shift back into the present, the idea

Using Everyday Moments To Lift Energy

SPEAKER_00 11:11

that spirit sends me people is something that I never thought about, is something that I never really came to the conclusion for. Like, because I could understand the bike thing, I don't want him to be hurt, so they sent me to kind of protect him a little bit. But when I'm starting to bring this onto a smaller scale on a day-to-day scale, it shifts the whole dynamic of how I approach my day. Because if spirit is sending me people, first there comes this belief of what am I supposed to do with that? What am I supposed to do with these? How do I know which people? Oh, it's everybody? Like, this is the reaction that I have. And so it's starting to understand this beautiful web dynamic that exists in here in the physical world that's like kind of overlap with the spirit world and our souls and our journeys and our soul contracts, all these, all these things that are interrelated in the way that I just get to show up and be exactly who I want to be. And spirit knows that I'm gonna do that. And so sometimes that means that someone comes my way or enters or stands next to me in a line because they need to be next to my energetic frequency. Because maybe they're having a bad day. Maybe they need a little bit of an energetic recharge, and my energy right next to them is going to give them that, right? Sometimes that means being in line at the grocery store behind some bitch ass lady. Oh my God, this is a true story, that was reaming out like the 14-year-old that was checking out her groceries and saying, You're putting too many things in the bag. I can't carry it. Okay, fair, but like the way that she approached it was fucking vicious. And the husband was there like a dog with two, with its tail between its legs, not fucking saying anything. And then they leave, and like you could cut the tension with a knife. And here I come being like, God, I'd hate to be that husband with that that kind of a beast for a wife, you know? And like everybody laughs and they're like, Good, you saw it too. And I was like, that was completely inappropriate, right? And so being there to just raise the vibration and help people not get stuck in these lower vibrational frequencies. And again, sometimes that's just showing up in the being at the right place at the right time. Sometimes that's, you know, making the joke when you feel called to shift the energy in the space a little bit. And sometimes that means that I'm sitting down at a school event, and some whoever sits next to me inevitably starts a conversation with me, and I can feel like their dead dad come through. And then I tell the dad, if you want me to talk about you, you're gonna have to bring it up. She has to bring it up. This woman that you placed me next to, your daughter has to bring it up. And inevitably they'll mention, this is the anniversary of my dad's passing. This is my birthday, right? Like something important that allows me to have that green light to continue the conversation. And it's so interesting shifting the perspective away from me wanting to be a fucking hermit and not talk to anybody and not wanting to do small talk or networking, and shifting the perspective into trusting that spirit has placed these people in my path. And my job is to be curious and uncover why. Because I'm realizing it's not about me, it's not about me and my introvertedness and my desire to go into a cave. It's about spirit, it's about me choosing this life knowing I want to make massive fucking change, knowing that I want to transform people's lives and blow their mind. And spirit literally giving me opportunity after opportunity after opportunity every single day to do that. Doesn't that change the whole dynamic of social interactions? I go from wanting my human to shrink and don't see me, and putting like my energy and that fox energy, that like super secret, I'm hidden, don't pay attention to me energy, which I'm fucking good at doing, into shining my light and saying, Bring them to

Hide Or Be The Messenger

SPEAKER_00 15:55

me. I'm ready. It's not about me. It's about what message you want me to relay through spirit. And again, sometimes that's just being there. Sometimes it's giving a little mean mini reading, right? Sometimes it is just being there to remind people that they're amazing and then they're loved. You know, sometimes there won't even be a mention of spirit, but spirit's still in my ears saying, talk about this with them. Because that's going to help heal whatever energy they're in. So, do you want to hide or do you want to be a messenger? Do you want to shrink or do you want to help others transform? Do you want to be a hermit or do you want to continue to practice your connection with spirit every moment of every day? It's all in the perspective that you bring to the situation. And if I can shift my perspective on something that is so deeply ingrained in me, as being an introvert, as shrinking away from social interactions, from like self-proclaimed people hater. Like I generally don't like people. And that has been true for the first 40 years of my life. And if I can shift my perspective into holy shit, I am here for a reason. And every interaction is an opportunity to grow and change and evolve and help. In literally like this one second download from spirit, what else can I learn? What else can I do? This is the fucking magic of working with spirit. It truly is. It is the reality of understanding there are bigger plans at play. There are bigger perspectives at play. There's a whole fucking web of connections and lessons and learning that is available for you in the spirit world. And the things that we are born into, the behaviors, the thoughts, the patterns that we are born into, the things that drive us nuts about ourselves. We all have them. What if they're one tiny perspective shift away from changing your entire reality? This is what it is like to work with spirit. This is what a soul session is like with me. Sovereign soul, right? This is what mentoring is like. Because it's making you realize that you've been perfect all along. You're exactly who and where you're supposed to be. But you've been conditioned to ignore that part of you. You've been conditioned away from the fact that you are fucking magic on legs. Right? And this is so true in the course of the history of lives that I've had as well. I'm just gonna take this little beautiful side route down my past lives just to kind of further prove this path. Okay.

A Soul Session Perspective Shift

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Because as we're talking about turning our light off, which is how spirit shows it to me, like turning off the essence of who we are, the connection to our soul, which I've seen personally, I have done in lifetime after lifetime after lifetime after lifetime. And the first spark of my soul showing up in all of those lifetimes was anger. It was rage. It was getting pissed at people because the anger is the pure vibration of my soul knowing something is out of alignment. That is my first reaction every single time. And I've started to realize that in this lifetime too. And I've noticed how in this lifetime I've been taught not to have anger or big emotions, right? Was I taught or did I carry it over from a past life? That is for another podcast episode. But lifetime after a lifetime after a lifetime, I have lived with a fraction of my soul essence, of my aligned

Past Lives, Anger, And Suppressed Power

SPEAKER_00 20:45

truth, of who I am. And that has led to lifetimes of coming back here, of learning the same lessons over and over again, of not using my full power to enable the lifetimes that I've planned for myself. And obviously the way that I've I can help and transform others as well. And that could be a whole fucking like six-month series on podcasts itself, is just going through the lessons and stories of how we don't come into alignment with our soul, how we don't allow ourselves to shine, how we minimize ourselves to help others shine or help others grow or think of ourselves as defective or less than because other people seem to have more value and weight than our own emotions and authenticity and authority. Because we're taught to do that, because we're taught to suppress the anger. Because it's intense, because it's deep, because it's transformative, because the people who want things to stay the status quo. Are the same people who want to suppress you. And so I don't know if that was inherently taught to me in this lifetime to stay quiet, to stay back. And I think this is might be where some of my introvertedness has come from. To not raise my voice, to not speak my opinions, to not speak my depth, because I'm not sure if people will be able to handle it. Because I don't know if I'm vulnerable enough to let people in on how deep I like to talk about things. But the reality is, it's who I am. It's what brings me joy. It's what fucking lights up my life is talking to people at this deep, profound, transformative level. And so when I anchor my everyday interactions into that part of me, that authentic truth of me, and how I can take even the tiniest moment in my day, the tiniest interaction, and realize it's an opportunity for me to showcase again my depth and my transformation in others. Because spirit is giving me the opportunity to it allows me to look at life completely differently. To realize that my flaws are actually my fucking superpower. And they're only flaws because I was taught that they were my flaws, not because they ever were. Fucking magic on legs over there. Look at you. Oh my God. I hope you got go get a coffee or an ice cream or just look at yourself in the mirror and just be like, oh God, I'm magic on legs. Look at me. Fucking goddess. Fucking God. Whatever your gender is, go get them, Tiger. Have a good one.