Feminine Rage and How to Work With It. Class With Amy Vincze Begins Feb. 24th

Today I sit down with EFT practitioner and creator of the Soar With Tapping app, Amy Vincze. When I heard Amy is leading a class: The Wisdom of Feminine Rage beginning February 24 (Details Here), I immediately wanted to have a conversation on rage and how it develops in women and how essential it is to us having better lives.

We share childhood memories of when we suppressed our anger for survival, which led to shame and taking on the “agreeable woman” script and its toxic byproducts: anxiety, depression, perfectionism, and quiet resentment that erodes relationships and self-worth.

Amy breaks down her approach to her upcoming tapping class.

1) Dismantle fear—fear of punishment, labels, and ruptured roles.

2) Honor collective rage—personal heartbreaks and the global injustices women carry.

3) Find balance—use anger as a truth teller that flags unfairness, set boundaries with clarity, and move forward without living in the burn.

Most importantly, Amy reminds us that connecting with rage leads to ambition, creativity, and leadership—the energy that propels us to ask for more, protect what matters, and model healthy anger for our kids. 

If you’ve ever felt your hackles rise and doubted your right to speak, this conversation offers language, tools, and community to reclaim your voice.

Join Amy on Feb. 24 for The Wisdom of Feminine Rage (Details Here)

Discover Amy's EFT Work: Soar With Tapping

Soar With Tapping App on Google Play or Apple

Transcript

Welcome And Support Invitation

Janine 0:00

Welcome to Bipolar She. I'm your host, Janine Noel. In a few weeks, Bipolar She will turn two. We launched in 2024 and it's been a passion project, and I haven't reached out to listeners for financial support. So I'm starting very small with the Buy Me a Coffee platform for creators to accept support and membership from listeners. So please check out buymeacoffee.com forward slash bipolar she. It's also in the show notes, and I am very grateful. Okay, so you may be familiar with Amy Vinsa of Sore with Tapping. Her tapping app has been a supporter of this show, and finding tapping, particularly for sleep, has really changed my life. When I found out that Amy is teaching a course called The Wisdom of Feminine Rage, Honor, Express, and Release Built Up Anger, details on Eventbrite, I became super interested because in our next season, I'm looking at child development and our earlier experiences with anger and rage. Today, Amy and I talk about anger over a lifetime, collective feminine rage, and how essential anger is to live a full life and a life where you are taking action for yourself and for others. So let's go. How are you? Good. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm really excited to talk about some anger and rage today. I'll just get right to it.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

I love it.

Janine 1:49

And an upcoming class that you have that I think is is really cool and I want to hear more about it. But I am starting in my next series to really look at childhood development and how that impacts us in terms of mental health, mental illness, because I really do feel that our early experiences do impact our minds. And it's sort of dangerous to think this is only a chemical imbalance or it's only right, it's just some medical thing that will be fixed with drugs.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

So yeah, it's not looking at the whole picture. It's a kind of an irresponsible way to approach it. Yeah.

Janine 2:32

Yeah. And I kind of think that is unfortunately what happens often. Um, so I thought with you, uh, we could talk about this because you always talk about. Well, let me just introduce you as the EFT queen. Amy is our expert emotional freedom technique woman, practitioner. So, Amy, how would you describe the work that you do?

Why Anger Matters For Women

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Well, I like to kind of describe myself as a little bit of a detective, like a human-nature detective. Like if somebody comes to me and said they have a certain goal to get rid of anxiety or get through depression or something like that. It's my job as the detective to kind of find my way through some of the sources of that depression or anxiety. And then we use that information to guide us through the healing. And I use tapping. To me, it's a really powerful healing tool that's available today. And it allows us to feel and process the all the unexpressed emotions in a really safe way. And it does it very quickly and very safely. So there's no, there's no real way to hurt yourself with this. So yeah, that's what I do.

Janine 3:56

I was excited to see that you're teaching a course about women and rage. And as I've gone back and looked at some research regarding childhood development, just like any other emotion. A lot of books, and I found this one, it's kind of kooky. It was written in 1979 by Alice Miller. It's called The Drama of the Gifted Child. And it doesn't mean gifted and as like a talented kid, but just a sensitive kid. And what can happen to them when all their feelings are not allowed within their home or in front of their caregiver? So when we're speaking about anger and rage, when that is suppressed, it sticks with you for a lifetime and really leads to major issues.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

It's all we're we have these emotions for a reason. They are important and valuable in the way we live our lives. And because we have often, women especially have been taught to suppress that, to be agreeable, to be accommodating at all times. We've often suppressed that part of us that likes to rise up in rage against something that feels unfair. And it has done some real damage. And I agree with you that still lives within us somewhere, and you know, over time causes damage. So it's in our best interest to kind of lean into that rage a little bit, explore it and honor it for the amazing tool that it is. We don't want to live there, just like anything else. We don't want to live in sadness or hurt or you know, fill in the blank, but it does serve a purpose for us, and it's important for our women to access it again.

Janine 5:49

Do you remember moments when you felt rage as a child?

SPEAKER_00 5:53

You know, I thought about this a lot. I don't remember personally feeling rage ever until fairly recently. And I think that had a lot to do with just the dynamics that were going on in my family as I was growing up. Especially there was one time when my dad had already left. So, you know, there was a lot of things going on in our family dynamic as a result of that. We were all kind of broken in a way, me and my sister and my mom. And there was one day where, let's see, I my mom was building something in our front yard. And for whatever reason, I just felt like I wanted to go help her. So I was out there working with her all day long, and we were building this little deck, and it was fun and it was a nice project, and I enjoyed it. And later on that night, and it was so strange because no words were spoken, but we were all like sitting on the couch. I was sitting on the couch and my mom was sitting on the couch, and my sister, because we didn't have enough money to turn the heat on really high. So she was sitting like over the heater vent with a blanket, trying to capture all the heat for herself. And my mom went over to give her a hug. I think she was sensing that something was off. I'm guessing what my sister felt was just intense jealousy from having me spending time with my mom all day and probably feeling left out from that because she wouldn't let my mom near her. The tears and the anger started really quickly, and all of a sudden, my sister was like kicking my mom in her stomach, tell, you know, trying to get her away. And my mom was crying, and there was just, it was horribly physical and really destructive, and it felt so scary. I was sitting on the couch by myself, just terrified in paralysis because I didn't know what the hell to do. And I think at that point I made kind of an internal vow that I was never going to let myself get angry like that. That because it was so incredibly terrifying for me to watch that and to see what anger did to both of them. They were both sobbing hysterically, and my sister kicking my mom in the stomach, and my mom trying to connect with her. And it was, it was just so heart-wrenching. Yeah. So I I really made a vow that that was never going to be part of something that I engaged with. It was too scary for me and too destructive.

Janine 8:37

And you were living with that vow into adulthood.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Oh, yeah. Yeah. And and, you know, with the narrative for women that's been at least at the very least an undercurrent, but we've been conditioned to be the agreeable and accommodating woman. And I really kind of bought into that to a certain degree. And I I tried to be what I thought I was supposed to be as a woman. So it was a really kind of destructive uh road with anger because I would only allow it towards me.

Janine 9:12

Right.

Learning To Sit With Anger In Marriage

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Judgment and criticism was always on me, nobody else.

Janine 9:17

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So it wasn't still, you know, I think menopause has been a help in that regard, in that, you know, the the loss of estrogen has caused other issues in my body, but it has also allowed me to maybe feel more justified in the things that I feel angry about. And it has allowed me to kind of sit with my anger and not judge it. What do you mean by sitting with it? Meaning I don't run away with it, or run away from it, I should say. So if, for example, my husband and I get into a disagreement in the past, it has just been my tendency to back down and not continue the conversation because I was either I had been stung so deeply by his words, or I was just too afraid that it was going to escalate into something like what happened with my sister. So now, first of all, I'm not like taking his words to heart. I can see his anger for what it is in that it's a little bit of his own pain coming out. So I don't take it on personally anymore, but I also I'm not gonna allow him, at least my intention is I'm not gonna allow him to be cruel to me, especially in front of my daughter, without having me shut it down and stand up for myself in that way. I don't want to be an example of the type of woman I have been in the past around anger. I want to be an example of somebody that can feel anger and be okay with it and move through it.

Janine’s Childhood Punishment And Suppression

Janine 11:04

Yeah, that's great. And that's what the course you're teaching is really gonna get into is feeling that and sitting with it. I'm looking forward to it. My relationship with anger is a little tough. I was a kid that suppressed a lot, a lot of different emotions. And my household was really, it was chaotic. I mean, my parents fought terribly. And I just think of this one experience I had where, so we had an Apple IIe computer in our house. Do you remember those big, huge computers? But we were one of the first in the neighborhood to have one of those. My dad's an engineer, and he was excited by it. And so I play video games. Do you remember like Frogger?

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Those really I totally remember those. Those were great.

Janine 11:54

With this little joystick. And I had a friend over after school, and we're sitting there and we're playing Froger, and I lose, or something happens, and I just started pounding my fists on the keyboard, yelling, fuck at the top of my lungs. Okay. I was eight or nine years old, and I'm yelling this. It's like I'm like an adult in an office, you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm so angry. Before I know it, my dad grabbed me and we're running down the hall, and he shoves a bar of soap in my mouth, and I think it was like dial, it was like a big bar of soap. And I was like, couldn't it just be ivory soap? Like I remember thinking, like, this is the biggest bar of soap, you know, and I'm crying, it's awful. And my my friend is sent home. But I think that knocked any sense of showing anger until I was really like in my early 20s. So and I think about that, I'm like, well, it was pretty bad. Like maybe the friend should have gone home. And I wonder what other kind of parenting really could have happened, right? Like when a kid's doing that, the first thing I think is like, okay, what's up with the family? You know what I mean? Like, what's going on? I got in trouble for that, and I should have gotten in a little trouble.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

But um, pretty extreme, though. That's an extreme reaction.

Janine 13:22

Is that extreme?

SPEAKER_00 13:23

Uh oh, yeah. I mean, not your reaction. I think your dad's reaction was pretty extreme.

Janine 13:29

Yeah, yeah. No, I I got spanked. I got, it was a different day and age. It was the late 70s and 80s. I was probably too old for some of those punishments. But yeah, suppress the anger. So if your course is gonna help us manage our anger and maybe we will reflect on our past experiences and looking forward, how would you describe sort of the process?

Inside The Feminine Rage Course

Rage As Signal, Balance, And Fuel

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Well, first it's gonna be a process of kind of dismantling all of the fear around experiencing anger, the fear of getting in trouble, even though that might not be what's top of mind for you. There still is that little girl part of you that remembers how in trouble you got when you, you know, expressed anger in an outward way, and that people weren't comfortable with it. So we have to kind of dismantle the fear around allowing anger at all and really neutralize the fear of other people's reactions around us, fear of being called a bitter or angry woman, fear of maybe even changing the dynamics of the relationships with people around you in your life. So the first day is gonna be around kind of neutralizing all of those different fears. And the second day is gonna be about really getting into kind of a collective women's rage for all of the atrocities and the heartbreaking things that women have to endure in our own lives, but in the lives of people around the world, people that we don't even know, especially if we have suppressed anger the majority of our lives. There's a lot of it. And it needs to be given a safe outlet. And this is the perfect way to do it because we're gonna be in the company of only women, and we are going to be able to say and feel all of the things that we have been suppressing for the longest time. And then the third day is gonna be about finding that balance in between the two because we don't want to live there. We don't want to stay in that feminine rage. That would be very harmful for us internally and harmful for our outward relationships and so on. But we don't want to suppress it entirely. We need to find the balance and allow it to rise up when the moment calls for it. Allow that fire and that passion to rise up because it is a great signal that something is unfair in our environment and it needs to be addressed. It's like a truth teller. Even when you can't discern or identify that something is unfair, when you if you start to feel that rage bubbling up, then you know that something is unfair. If your hackles rise for some reason in a conversation, that's something to pay attention to. It's a red flag. And we have ignored those flags for too long and gotten ourselves into some really horrible situations. So it's time to start allowing that again. And again, we don't want to live there, but we do want to allow ourselves to feel the anger, and allowing ourselves to feel it allows us to move through it and get to the other side. That's where I want all of us to be. I want us to have access to this anger, this rage within us, because it is really like that's what allows us to kind of find the fire and the passion in life. That's a that's a fuel for that. And so it's important in that way that we can access it and then let it go and and just move forward in a way that's going to help us to feel both power and vulnerability, if that makes sense.

Janine 17:27

Right. And also holding on to some of that rage helps us, helps us be more ambitious, yes, competitive, and yes put ourselves out there more.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

So yes, all of those things. They're all great things to have access to. And it starts with a little spark of fire and rage. Absolutely.

Janine 17:51

Great. So you can find this event on Eventbrite. And do you want to give a little bit more details on?

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Yeah, it starts on February 24th. It's going to be three consecutive Tuesdays. So the 24th and then March 3rd and then March 10th from 6 to 7 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. And you can go to Eventbrite and search for wisdom of feminine rage, and it will show you the event. And I hope that you can. We're going to do a lot of tapping. There's actually not going to be that much instruction. I really want to spend the time devoted to tapping and kind of moving through some of our fears and overwhelm with rage so that we can get to the other side as or as close to it as possible.

Janine 18:39

Yeah, it's a unique class, and I'm looking forward to it as well. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I always learned so much talking to you, and I just really appreciate you. So thank you. Thank you so much, Janine. This was great.