The Empathy Deficit in Leadership: Neuroscience Insights & AI for Executives

Welcome to AI Café Conversations — the space where neuroscience meets AI for executives.

In this episode, host Sahar Andrade, Forbes contributor and executive coach, explores the empathy deficit in leadership. Drawing on brain science and real-world coaching insights, Sahar unpacks why leaders struggle to connect, how neuroscience explains this gap, and where AI tools can support executives without requiring technical expertise.

💡 What you’ll take away:
✓ Neuroscience-backed methods to rebuild trust and connection in leadership
✓ AI coaching tools for executives that support clarity and performance (no coding required)
✓ Human-centered AI frameworks that strengthen team dynamics
✓ How to overcome the emotional barriers that keep leaders from embracing AI

This episode is designed for executives, HR professionals, and coaches who feel the urgency of AI adoption but refuse to lose sight of the human heart of leadership.

Email me at sahar@saharconsulting.com with questions or topic suggestions for future episodes.

 My book "The Coach's Brain Meets AI" is available on Amazon, and I'll send extra guides if you email me after purchasing. Follow me on LinkedIn (Sahar Andrade) and Instagram (Sahar the Reinvent Coach). 

Subscribe now to start transforming your leadership with Human-Centered AI!

If you have any questions Email me at sahar@saharconsulting.com

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Transcript

Welcome to AI Cafe Conversation

Speaker 1 0:13

Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to AI Cafe Conversation. I'm Sahar, your AI whisperer, and today, though, it's not my scheduled release for my episodes, but I wanted to try something a little bit different with you, okay? So, as many of you know, I write long-form pieces for Forbes where I dive into the intersections of neuroscience, AI and human leadership. Sometimes, words on a page feel like they need a voice, a rhythm, maybe a dialogue. Words on a page feel like they need a voice, a rhythm, maybe a dialogue. So in this episode, you will hear one of my Forbes articles reimagined as a conversation the beauty of AI and multiple applications we can use it for. Think of it as another cup of coffee at our table Same ideas, new flavor. Let's pour into it together. So consider this an extra flavor that I'm adding. Consider this is actually an extra episode. I still do my wednesday regular episode, but this is just an extra savor it.

Speaker 2 1:19

Hope you enjoy it ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall at work, like seriously, yeah, your boss just doesn't get it oh yeah. Well, you're not alone. We're diving deep today into the empathy deficit and leadership. Uh-huh, that's a big problem apparently. Yeah, especially when things get tough. We've got some uh interesting research for this deep dive oh cool including this story about a we'll just call him john an executive, okay who had a major empathy wake-up call during the pandemic back in 2020.

Speaker 3 1:51

What's interesting is that empathy. A lot of people think it's just like this, you know touchy-feely thing, but the research really shows that it's directly linked to like actual measurable results.

Speaker 2 2:00

Okay. So like, how bad is this deficit Like, give us the hard numbers, ok. So like, how bad is this deficit Like give us the hard numbers.

Speaker 3 2:05

Well, Gallup, they did a study and found that only 24 percent of employees strongly agree that their leaders actually care about their well-being.

Speaker 2 2:13

Wow.

Speaker 3 2:14

Yeah, it's pretty stark statistic Yikes. Basically, there's a big disconnect between what leaders think they're doing, you know, like how much empathy they think they're showing, and how their employees actually feel.

Speaker 2 2:24

So it's not just about like being nice, it's about creating a workplace where people feel seen, heard, all that.

Speaker 3 2:30

Exactly, and when that's missing, it really can hurt a company. I mean, we're talking like decreased productivity, people leaving, you know, higher turnover.

Speaker 2 2:40

Right.

Speaker 3 2:40

Hard to find good people to work there All sorts of problems. The Center for Creative Leadership they've done some great work on this. They've actually shown a link between empathy and employee satisfaction and even how profitable a company is.

Speaker 2 2:55

I've definitely worked for those leaders who are all about like strategy and targets.

Speaker 3 2:59

Yeah.

Speaker 2 2:59

But not so much about connecting with their team. You know, as people, Right. And it definitely impacts morale. But to hear that it can actually hurt a company financially, that's a wake up call for sure.

Speaker 3 3:12

Yeah, absolutely. More and more people are realizing that. You know, employees aren't just cogs in a machine, they're people and they have, you know, feelings, and those feelings really impact their work.

The Neuroscience Behind Empathy

Speaker 2 3:23

OK, so let's's get into the nitty gritty. How does empathy actually work? Is this just something you're born with? Can you learn it? What's the deal?

Speaker 3 3:31

It turns out, there's actually a fascinating neurological basis for empathy.

Speaker 2 3:36

Okay.

Speaker 3 3:36

We have these things in our brain called mirror neurons, and they fire when we do something, but they also fire when we watch somebody else do the same thing.

Speaker 2 3:44

Interesting.

Speaker 3 3:44

Yeah, it's like our brains are trying to actually simulate what the other person's experiencing.

Speaker 2 3:49

So I'm like literally mirroring your emotions in my own brain.

Speaker 3 3:53

Kind of yeah, and this mirroring process, it activates different areas in the brain, specifically like the insular cortex, and that helps us like be aware of our own emotions and it helps us understand other people's feelings.

Speaker 2 4:06

So it's not just like mimicking expressions, it's like actually tapping into, like what's behind them.

Speaker 3 4:12

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 4:13

Okay, so how does that then like translate into, say, a stronger bond with your team at work?

Speaker 3 4:20

That's where oxytocin comes in. This is a hormone that gets released when we experience empathy, and it plays a really key role in how we bond with each other and how much we trust other people. Studies have shown that when leaders show empathy, it can actually trigger oxytocin release in their team team members. So it creates a feeling of you know, connection, and makes people want to collaborate more.

Speaker 2 4:45

Wait, so there's actual science behind this idea that empathy builds like better teams.

Speaker 3 4:50

Yeah.

Speaker 2 4:51

Now I'm thinking back to the best teams I've been on. It's like there was a lot of trust and understanding there for sure.

Speaker 3 4:56

Exactly, and when a leader lacks empathy, you know you feel that distance right.

Speaker 2 5:00

Yeah.

Speaker 3 5:01

And it makes you less trusting and that can really hurt how well a team works together.

John's Story: Empathy in Action

Speaker 2 5:04

Okay, let's get back to John, our executive from the 2020 story.

Speaker 3 5:07

Yeah.

Speaker 2 5:08

What did this empathy deficit like actually look like in the real world?

Speaker 3 5:13

Well, john, he was, you know, one of those classic results oriented leaders, right, very focused on goals and deadlines. You know the type I think so yeah. When the pandemic hit, his team was struggling. They were stressed, anxious, burned out, and he just didn't know what to do.

Speaker 2 5:32

Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 5:32

He was so used to just focusing on the task at hand he totally missed how his team was feeling.

Speaker 2 5:38

So what did he do to turn things around? Like did he bring in like consultants and motivational speakers? What happened?

Speaker 3 5:44

No, actually it was way simpler than that. He just started every meeting by asking his team a simple question how are you holding up?

Speaker 2 5:52

That's it, just asking a question.

Speaker 3 5:54

Yeah, that's all it took. Yeah, but it made a huge difference, like he was acknowledging that things were tough.

Speaker 2 5:59

Yeah.

Speaker 3 5:59

And it gave his team a chance to share how they were doing. That showed them that he cared about them as people, not just employees, and it totally changed how they interacted with each other.

Speaker 2 6:09

That's incredible, right, like such a small thing can make such a big difference. I think we often forget, you know, to just take a moment to like, connect as people.

Speaker 3 6:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2 6:18

Before we jump right into business Absolutely.

Speaker 3 6:21

And the crazy thing is John's team actually started performing better after he started, you know, being more empathetic. Like their productivity went up, engagement increased. Even customer satisfaction scores got better. Wow yeah, so it's a win-win right. Employees feel valued and the company sees these like positive results. It's like the research is telling us that empathy is not just the right thing to do, it's also the smart thing.

Practical Strategies for Building Empathy

Speaker 2 6:47

Okay, but let's get practical. What can our listeners actually do to you know? Become more empathetic.

Speaker 3 6:54

Well, the sources we looked at they actually have some really good strategies and the good news is they're all things you can start doing right away.

Speaker 2 7:00

Okay, good.

Speaker 3 7:01

Active listening is a big one.

Speaker 2 7:02

I'll admit that's one I struggle with sometimes.

Speaker 1 7:04

No, okay.

Speaker 2 7:05

Like I get so caught up in what I'm going to say next that I totally miss, like, what the other person is really trying to tell me.

Speaker 3 7:11

Yeah, that's a really common challenge. But active listening, it goes beyond just hearing the words.

Speaker 2 7:16

Like.

Speaker 3 7:17

Like you're paying attention to the emotions behind them, right.

Speaker 2 7:29

You notice their tone of voice, you look at their body language and you really try to understand things from their perspective, so like putting aside my own thoughts and focusing on what they're saying and how they're feeling Exactly.

Speaker 3 7:33

Sometimes it even helps to like repeat back what you heard, just to make sure you're on the same page.

Speaker 1 7:37

Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 7:37

It shows that you're really paying attention and that you care about understanding what they're saying.

Speaker 2 7:41

What about vulnerability? Oh yeah, the research mentioned that too, but that feels kind of risky yeah, especially at work.

Speaker 3 7:48

It can be for sure, but it's also really powerful when leaders are willing to share their own struggles. It makes it safe for others to do the same.

Speaker 2 7:56

Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 3 7:57

And it breaks down those walls and just lets people connect.

Speaker 2 8:00

It's leading by example, showing it's okay to not be okay. People connect.

Speaker 3 8:03

It's leading by example showing it's okay to not be okay.

Speaker 2 8:04

Yeah, I can see how that builds trust.

Speaker 3 8:06

Yeah. What else should we add to our like empathy toolkit? Don't underestimate like just regular check-ins, just asking how are you, and like really meaning it can make a huge difference.

Speaker 2 8:18

I think, yeah, we just get so busy and we forget to just check in with each other sometimes.

Speaker 3 8:23

Exactly, and it doesn't have to be a long drawn out thing, Just a quick how are you doing? Shows that you care.

Speaker 2 8:28

Okay, what about those times when things are really rough, like you know, crisis level, tough.

Speaker 3 8:33

That's when empathy is like the most important. When people are scared or stressed, their brains basically go into that fight or flight mode.

Speaker 2 8:42

Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 8:42

Like that amygdala. It's the part of her brain that handles, you know, fear and all that. It takes over and it's hard to think clearly.

Speaker 2 8:49

Oh, I've been there like totally hijacked by my emotions. So how does empathy actually help in those situations? Leaders who can?

Speaker 3 9:01

stay calm and offer support and just be understanding during a crisis. That can help their teams get through it, and it's important to realize that everybody reacts to stress differently, and that's OK. It's about meeting people where they are and offering support, like flexibility resources or just listening.

Speaker 2 9:15

So it's not about pretending like everything's fine. It's about acknowledging that things are hard and helping people cope. That makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 3 9:22

Exactly Like. Imagine an employee's dealing with a family emergency. An empathetic leader might offer them, you know, to change their hours or maybe lighten their workload.

Speaker 2 9:32

Yeah.

Speaker 3 9:33

It's about finding ways to help them without, you know, sacrificing the goals.

Empathy During Crisis Situations

Speaker 2 9:38

Are there any examples in the research of like real leaders showing empathy during a crisis?

Speaker 3 9:44

Oh, yeah, one of the sources talked about the CEO during the pandemic. Like right at the beginning he sent out a company wide email.

Speaker 2 9:52

OK.

Speaker 3 9:52

And he acknowledged that, like everyone was scared and uncertain about what was going on, wow. And he even shared that like he was struggling with anxiety too, wow, yeah. And he told everyone to you know, make sure they were taking care of themselves.

Speaker 2 10:06

So he wasn't just like here's some resources. He was like actually being vulnerable and sharing his own experience.

Speaker 3 10:12

Yeah, exactly, and the employees loved it. They felt like he really understood what they were going through. It made a huge difference in how they were able to deal with all the stress.

Speaker 2 10:21

I bet it sounds like the research is really saying that during a crisis, empathy is essential.

Speaker 3 10:27

It really is. It's how you build resilience, you know how you create trust and it's how you get through tough times.

Speaker 2 10:32

Okay, so we've covered a lot of ground here. We talked about the science behind empathy, the business case for it, and even heard some real world examples of how it works in action. So, like what's the big takeaway? What do we want our listeners to walk away with?

Speaker 3 10:47

Well, I think the most important thing to remember is that empathy is a skill.

Speaker 2 10:51

Okay.

Speaker 3 10:52

Not a personality trait. It's something we can all get better at. You know, with practice.

Speaker 2 10:56

That's good, Because I think a lot of people think that they're just like born of it or not and that's it. But the research is saying that's not true.

Speaker 3 11:04

Right, we can all learn to be more empathetic and, like we said before, the benefits are huge, not just at work, but in our personal lives too.

Speaker 2 11:11

So let's say somebody is listening to this and they're like all right, I get it. Empathy is important.

Speaker 3 11:15

Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:16

But how do I actually like do it? Where do they start?

Speaker 3 11:21

You know, start small. Next time you talk to someone, like a coworker, a friend, whoever take a minute to really like tune in to what they're saying and how they're feeling, like ask them how are you really doing? And then just listen, don't interrupt, don't judge, don't try to fix anything, just listen to understand.

Speaker 2 11:40

Like what we talked about with active listening.

Speaker 3 11:42

Yeah, exactly. Put your own thoughts aside for a minute and just focus on their experience. It's not as hard as it sounds.

Speaker 2 11:46

No, I like that. It feels doable.

Speaker 3 11:48

It is, and you might be surprised like how much of a difference it makes for them and for you.

Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Speaker 2 11:54

This has been a really interesting deep dive, like it's definitely made me realize I have a lot more to learn about empathy, but I also feel like I have some like real tools now to start actually using it more.

Speaker 3 12:06

That's great to hear and, you know, remember, it's a journey. We're not going to be perfect at it all the time, but the important thing is to keep learning and keep trying to, you know, connect with people.

Speaker 2 12:16

I love that and, on that note, I want to leave our listeners with this Think about a time when you felt truly understood by someone, like how did it make you feel? What did they do or say that made you feel seen and heard, and then, like, hold on to that feeling and let it inspire you to be that kind of person for others, because the world can be a pretty tough place sometimes and empathy it's like that bridge that connects us, you know, helps us get through it together. So thanks for joining us on this deep dive into empathy. Until next time, keep learning, keep growing and keep connecting.

Speaker 1 12:47

This was today's Cafe Chat, born from my Forbes writing and transformed into dialogue about the empathy deficit in leadership. I had loved to know what stirred something inside of you, what question did it leave you holding and what truth did it press against. If it resonated, share this episode with someone who might need it and let me know your thoughts. Show me some love, okay, Subscribe, share, like comment. You can always reach me through my LinkedIn profile. On my site, look for Sahar Andrade, or you can email me at sahar at saharconsultingcom. I always love to hear from you and remember every week I will be back here with you for a deeper conversation every Wednesday, one cup at a time. Until then, stay present, stay human and stay awake. Love you all Till we meet on the next episode.