The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
Episode 26: Networking
Ever felt out of your depth at a networking event? I certainly did, but let me tell you, it doesn't have to be that way. Join me on The Grace Period as I unravel my own journey from feeling like a wallflower at legal gatherings to confidently mingling with influential figures. Discover essential networking strategies tailored for the introverted legal professional, with tips on internal networking within law firms that can open doors to exciting career opportunities. We'll talk about practical techniques, like using friends as your anchor at events and embracing colleagues from different offices. Creating an inclusive environment is key—not only for others but for your own growth and sense of belonging.
Balancing career ambitions with personal well-being is not just possible; it's essential. I'll share insights into building a strong professional brand without sacrificing your mental health, especially in high-pressure environments like big law. We'll tackle the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and finding support systems to not just survive, but thrive in the legal profession. Together, we'll explore how caring for ourselves and each other can create a much-needed grace period in our careers, allowing us to achieve success without burning out. Tune in for a conversation that promises to enrich your professional life while keeping your well-being front and center.
Find out more at https://thegraceperiod.substack.com/.
Welcome to the Grace Period where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, emily Logan Steadman. In this demanding profession, it is crucial that we don't lose ourselves in the hustle for billable hours. On the Grace Period, we have honest conversations about finding consistency, minimizing chaos, developing coping strategies and destigmatizing mental health. It is time to prioritize our shared humanity, to find our grace period. This season I've talked about partner track, my lessons from my first year as partner, finding motivation and focus, building billing habits and becoming a businesswoman. This week I want to talk about billing habits and becoming a businesswoman. This week I want to talk about networking. Some of you just groaned when you heard that word, and that's okay. I get it. But, like the billable hour, networking is something many of us love to hate. We all know that person at our firm who seems to know everyone, who gets coffee with partners from different practice groups, who's always getting invited to client events, who seems to build relationships effortlessly. Or the attorney who's involved in everything outside the office, always splitting off to lunches, dinners, conferences and more. In the beginning I thought those people were just born with some magical networking gene or extra extroversion that I didn't have. You know many people are surprised by this, but I'm quite the introvert. But here's the thing Networking isn't an innate talent, it's a skill and like any skill from taking a deposition to managing a complex case you can learn it, you can practice it and you can get better at it.
Speaker 1:When I moved to Milwaukee after law school I knew one person I'd met them. They were a friend of a friend from law school. I met them one time Early in my clerkship, very early in my clerkship. My judge sat me down Emily, you're not from here, you need to go out and meet people. It started with Bar Association and Inns of Court events. I still remember my first time going to Inns of Court. That's a who's who gathering of Milwaukee judges and litigators, both criminal and civil, who come together every month for CLEs and socializing. One week my judge couldn't attend so I went as her substitute. I remember walking into that room seeing those big wigs and thinking what the hell am I doing here? I grabbed a beer, I headed to the back corner of the room and I watched. I don't think I really talked to anyone. I headed to the back corner of the room and I watched. I don't think I really talked to anyone. There was really no way I would ever go up to that group of lawyers, law clerks, that federal judge and just dive. In no way. No how. Nine years later not nine years I've been practicing nine years. I've been out of law school, almost 12. So 12 years later, I have no problem. I often circle a room, hopping from one person I know to the next, until I'm ready to leave for the night or sit down and have my meal.
Speaker 1:That shift is possible for you too. Let's talk about internal networking. First, you must network within your firm. When I joined my first firm and when I lateraled to Hush Blackwell, where I am now, I had one rule Go to every event. I needed to get to know people.
Speaker 1:This can be exhausting. It's 100% a time commitment. But ask yourself what do I want from my firm, what do I want from and for my career? Firms want you to be a good firm citizen. The only way to make that happen is to get to know people, to see and be seen. You want to get interesting work, building a network of internal people who can send you work and who you can send work. That's the dream, and the only way to make that happen is to get to know people to see and be seen. You'll notice that at every firm and every organization it's the same subset of people who attend the events, who serve on committees and more. Be one of those people. After about a year or so of that, you can start pulling back. At that point you can evaluate what events serve and don't serve you, what committees interest and don't interest you, and start focusing on the things that align with your goals and interests. Yearly at a minimum, as you grow in your career, you'll need to graduate to different opportunities. As you grow in your firm, you'll gain opportunities to network with colleagues firm-wide. Avoid the temptation to stick with your office mates at those events. Learn to work a room using your friends, the people you know, as a home base. Here's what that looks like for me.
Speaker 1:In 2023, our firm hosted a firm-wide retreat. We had just passed over a thousand attorneys and walking into that conference room seeing seats and tables for all of us. It was quite overwhelming. At the sit-down, meetings and events, I stuck with people I knew, my safety net and home base, often my friends and colleagues from Milwaukee. At smaller events and during mingling times I did laps. I walked the room, dropping in to say hello to people who don't work with me in Milwaukee, who I only ever see digitally through a Teams call. I'd politely interrupt their conversations like this Alex, insert big hug. I'm so sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to make sure I said hello to you in case I don't see you again during this retreat. We'd have small talk for a few moments and then I'd say okay, I need to keep making my rounds and make sure I see Sarah as well. So I'm so glad I got to see you, even if briefly. Let's chat soon. Then I'd move on.
Speaker 1:Another tip is to be welcoming. At one point or another we've all been that person hovering outside, a group of socializers who seem to know one another, or standing alone in the back corner or on a far wall. If you see people doing that, bring them into the mix. It's the golden rule. You were grateful when people did that for you, so pass it on If you're really gutsy. Here's a real power move that I enjoy.
Speaker 1:At most events, people gather near the food and drinks, leaving tables on the other side of the room wide open. When I see this happening, I'll grab a drink or snack and plant myself at one of those far empty tables. This plays two roles. First, it gives me some alone time as I wait for people to come to me. Second, it allows people to come to me. It takes the pressure off of me finding groups to join or interrupt. Finally, drop the idea that you're bothering people. I say this with a laugh because in the beginning I thought I was bothering everyone and I was really bad about this and it was foolish.
Speaker 1:If there's someone in your office that you want to meet, go see them. If they're available to chat, they'll welcome you in. If they don't have time or they don't want to chat, they'll tell you or they'll make subtle cues that they don't have the time, like looking at their watch, typing on the computer or getting up from their desk and walking you back down the hall. If they're not in their office or they work in another office, send an email, ask for a one-on-one. Some people will ignore you.
Speaker 1:Ghosting happens in professional networking as much as it does in dating. That's okay. Learn to let it roll off your shoulders. Learn to let it not deter you from asking again and again and again, you don't need everyone to take you up on your request for a one-on-one. You probably don't even want those uninterested in your networking rotation anyway. The ones that take you up on it will be the ones to be generous with their time, their advice and their own connections. They make you feel like you're bothering them. Drop them, move on. The ones that end up mattering won't make you feel that way. All of this for internal networking is a training ground for external networking.
Speaker 1:All of these tips apply to folks and events outside your firm. Attorneys often have trouble networking outside of the office because it can feel like selling or it's just one more thing on your to-do list. But one easy place to start is with lawyer and young professional events. Find something that feels natural and comfortable and grow your skills there. For a lot of us these are attorney events, but if there's professional networking events or groups in your city that cater to all young professionals, not just attorneys, I encourage you to make connections there very, very early on, because as you rise through the ranks, so will those people, and maybe you'll want to go in-house to one of their companies one day, or maybe you'll want to ask them to be your client one day.
Speaker 1:I should have done that so much sooner. Instead, for me, my biggest focuses in my first years as a clerk and associate were the Young Lawyers Division, the YLD for the State Bar of Wisconsin and tennis. Tennis allowed me to meet people that weren't attorneys. I did meet some attorneys and it's actually how I got my first interviews at big firms when I was clerking or at the end of my clerkship, and the Young Lawyers Division allowed me to get really good at small talk and meeting people outside of my Milwaukee bubble. I got the chance to go to many events outside my firm and practice networking, and then I also got leadership opportunities.
Speaker 1:Some of you are listening and think I could never do this. I'm anxious, I'm socially awkward. I can be too. Social anxiety is real, but it doesn't mean you're bad at networking. I still get nervous. Sometimes I hesitate to reach out to women and ask them to meet and have a one-on-one. One thing that helps me with that is asking AI to prepare some questions. This is who I'm meeting with. This is their role. This is why I think they're interested. Can you come up with some questions I can talk to them about? Or give yourself a goal. Go to the networking event and make your goal to meet two new people. Make your goal to feel one person really heard. Do whatever you can to take the pressure off.
Speaker 1:If you're introverted, don't undersell yourself either. Introverts can be some of the best networkers. I'm an introvert. I don't look like it at a networking event because I've learned to work the room, but I also know my limits and when I need to leave and go home and be by myself and re-energize. Introverts are often much better at building deep and meaningful relationships. So focus on that power and use it to your advantage.
Speaker 1:If you're interested in beefing up your networking, start with a small challenge. Identify one person in your firm, outside of your firm, that you just really want to get to know. Send them an email. Ask for a 30-minute one-on-one. If they ignore you, so what? Ask someone else the next day. Every great attorney I know got there because of their network, not because they were schmoozing, but because they built genuine relationships over time, because they were intentional with their time and how they used it. So build those connections, one at a time, and see where it takes you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. I hope this discussion has provided some insights on networking, both internal and external. Next week we'll talk about building a professional brand. Remember you don't have to sacrifice your well-being for career success. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries and seeking support, you can survive and even thrive in the law and in big law. Until next time. Take care of yourselves and each other. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimer this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute professional advice of any kind, including legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by listening to this podcast.
