The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
Episode 28: Mentoring
Have you ever wondered how mentorship can be the cornerstone of success in the legal field? Join me, Emily Logan Stedman, as I share my personal journey through the transformative power of mentorship, from my early summers at camp with Katie to the invaluable guidance of legal mentors like James, Anthony, Ann, and Jason. Discover how these relationships have been pivotal in my career, providing not just opportunities, but also the encouragement and wisdom that helped shape my professional path. This episode is a treasure trove of insights into finding the right mentors, becoming a great mentee, and eventually transitioning into a mentor role yourself, all of which are crucial steps toward personal and professional growth.
As we navigate the high-octane world of big law, maintaining a balance between career ambitions and personal well-being is more important than ever. On The Grace Period we explore strategies for setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care without sacrificing professional goals. Prepare yourself for episodes filled with key lessons and tips I wish I had known earlier in my career. Remember, thriving in the legal arena doesn't need to come at the cost of your health or happiness. By taking care of ourselves and supporting each other, we can traverse the complexities of our careers with greater grace and ease. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion on mental health, mentorship, and finding your grace period amidst the pressures of big law.
Find out more at https://thegraceperiod.substack.com/.
Welcome to the Grace Period where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, emily Logan Stedman. In this demanding profession, it is crucial that we don't lose ourselves in the hustle for billable hours. On the Grace Period, we have honest conversations about finding consistency, minimizing chaos, developing coping strategies and de-stigmatizing mental health. It is time to prioritize our shared humanity, to find our grace period this season. On the grace period, I've talked about the partner track and what I learned during my first year as partner. I shared about how I find focus and motivation when I lose it and how to build better billing habits. I shared about becoming a businesswoman, as well as strategies for internal and external networking. Last week, I focused on building a professional brand. This week, we'll talk about mentoring. Mentorship can transform your career. Today, we'll talk about both sides of the relationship transform your career. Today, we'll talk about both sides of the relationship finding mentors, being a good mentee and being an effective mentor yourself. We've all had mentors. Mentoring in the law is sort of cliched at this point. Everyone thinks we need more of it. It's a hot topic when how to solve the profession's problems comes up. But I really think there's plenty of mentoring out there. We just aren't taught how to leverage the opportunities and relationships.
Speaker 1:Claude, my favorite generative AI tool, tells me that a mentor is an experienced and trusted person who provides guidance, advice and support to someone with less experience in a particular field, profession or aspect of life. A mentor shares their knowledge, skills and wisdom to help the mentee develop professionally or personally, and wisdom to help the mentee develop professionally or personally. The relationship often involves regular meetings or interactions where the mentor offers feedback, helps set goals, shares resources and acts as a role model. A mentee, on the other hand, is a person who is guided, advised and supported by a mentor. They are typically less experienced in a particular field or area and seek to learn from their mentor's knowledge and expertise. A mentee actively participates in the mentoring relationship by being receptive to feedback, asking questions, setting goals and applying the insights and advice received from their mentor to grow professionally and or personally.
Speaker 1:Think back on your life. When have you been mentored? For me, one moment jumps out. I went to the same summer camp for 14 years, an all-girls camp in northern Alabama. Eight years I was a camper and six years I was a counselor One summer, I think in middle school. I was having a particularly hard time. Today I don't remember why, but it probably was just general middle school all-girl camp angst and shenanigans. One of my counselors was Katie Cederholm and she noticed I was having a hard time Starting that summer and for several summers after we stayed in touch. I learned from her how to manage homesickness and deal with difficult moments in friendships. I learned from her how to lead quietly and that hard work paid off. She went to college at Washington and Lee, away from her home in Alabama. She taught me what it looked like to achieve that kind of goal, even if it was different than your friend's goals, even if it took you far from home. She was one of my first mentors.
Speaker 1:As we grow up, finding mentors becomes more difficult. It happens less organically. We have to be more proactive. I didn't find a true mentor in the law until maybe my second year of practice Now a dear friend and equity partner. Then he was a senior associate. James mentored just about every willing associate in commercial litigation at my first firm. I'm pretty sure he still does.
Speaker 1:My first year as an associate I kept my head down. I did the work listened. I was a sponge but I didn't really take anyone up on mentoring for the most part. I don't remember what changed that, but eventually it did and I really started listening to James In one-on-one meetings in group settings, when he gave advice to the associates who joined the firm after me. His wisdom and his candor shaped my career. His belief in me helped push me through some really hard times. He and his wife April very much still play a role in my life. I cherish their friendship but also their mentorship. But I needed more mentoring. It was lateraling to a new firm that really helped me see this. I took that fresh start and I found mentors.
Speaker 1:First there's Anthony. His mentorship started in the interview process when he took time beyond his 30-minute interview slot to talk to me and another hour after the interview to talk to me about the firm, and almost every workday since then he's let me ask him questions, he's given me advice and he makes sure that I'm achieving my goals. Then there was Ann. When I joined Hush Blackwell I joined. One of Ann's litigation matters headed into summary judgment and eventually a federal jury trial my very first one. I had been waiting for someone to give me the opportunities that Ann gave me. It was a dream come true moment and experience that I will treasure for the rest of my life. I remain a commercial litigator today, with a true love of litigating, because Ann saw something in me. She took a chance on me, let me take chances, and she believed in me.
Speaker 1:Then there's Jason. Jason has high expectations and does not waste his time on many people. We're a lot alike and we deal with our stress a little similarly, which sometimes causes tension. But he has invested in my career in a way few people have. He pushes me to be better. He encourages me to take opportunities. He speaks highly of me to clients and reminds me that I'm good at my job and that I'm brave, pushing me to take new and challenging opportunities. He never hesitates to let me ask questions about business development and to share his insights. I've learned more from him than almost any attorney I've ever known. What I've taken from these mentors is that no one gets there alone. What I've learned from these mentors is that even the busiest attorneys take time to give back to people they believed in. What I've gained from my mentors is the importance of giving back, so now I take just about every request for a one-on-one meeting with associates and law students and attorneys who ask. All I ask in return is that one day, when someone asks them for this meeting, they do it. They pay it forward. That's how we make the profession better.
Speaker 1:When looking for a mentor, there's no one-size-fits-all. Like a lot of our relationships, mentors might come and go serving a purpose for various times in our life and career. The key is to look for people who have qualities you admire, not just impressive titles. Look for people who live a life that you want to mimic, who have careers that you could see yourself in. And here's the thing your mentors don't all need to be partners at your firm. They don't even need to be people who are senior to you. They can be peers at your firm, peers at other firms, business leaders and even associates who are exceptional at the things that you want to learn how to do.
Speaker 1:Now let's talk about being a good mentee, because that's where the magic happens. Why? Because mentees drive the relationship First. Respect your mentor's time, make sure that every interaction is purposeful, have questions, follow up, be grateful, report back If you want to meet again. Be grateful, report back If you want to meet again. Ask, schedule it. If you want to meet again, ask, schedule it. You must own the relationship and push it forward.
Speaker 1:What about being a good mentor? When associates ask me about mentoring, now I look for three things Initiative, self-awareness and follow through. Good mentor when associates ask me about mentoring, now I look for three things initiative, self-awareness and follow through. I want to spend time with people who are working to be better, who understand their strengths and weaknesses and who actually are trying to improve.
Speaker 1:One of the biggest lessons I've learned as a mentor is that it's not about having all the answers. Sometimes it's just about listening and asking good questions. It's also extremely important to be authentic in a relationship. Mentors should be real about failures, not just wins. The associates I mentor don't just need to hear about my successes. They need to hear about the motion I botched as a third year and what I learned from it year and what I learned from it. Vulnerability creates trust and trust is required for real mentoring, for the mentors listening.
Speaker 1:Remember this. Your role is not to create mini-me's, mini versions of yourself. It's to help your mentees become the best version of themselves. Sometimes that even means supporting decisions that you wouldn't make for yourself. That's where I've had the most growth in my career when learning from and being supported by people who don't want me to be the next version of them. They want me to be a great attorney, partner and litigator, but they allow me to be me while doing it. For that I am forever grateful.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. I hope this discussion has provided some insights about mentoring. Next week I'll share a few lessons and tips I wish I had known from the very beginning. Remember you don't have to sacrifice your well-being for career success. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries and seeking support, you can survive and even thrive in the law and in big law. Until next time, take care of yourselves and others. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimer this podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute professional advice of any kind, including legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by listening to this podcast.
