The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
Episode 36: Embracing the Edge
Ever stood in a courtroom or boardroom and thought, "They're all going to realize I have no idea what I'm doing"? That familiar feeling of being an imposter isn't a sign of failure—it's a sign of growth.
In this deeply personal episode, I share a perspective-shifting definition of imposter syndrome that changed everything for me: "Imposter syndrome is what happens when we meet the edge of our comfort zone." This simple reframing helps us understand that self-doubt isn't evidence we're unqualified; it's evidence we're stretching ourselves into new territory.
As attorneys, we face unique challenges that amplify imposter syndrome. Without clear milestones marking our progression from associate to partner, we're constantly learning on the fly and taking on increasingly complex responsibilities.
I offer practical strategies for managing these feelings when they arise. By questioning our negative thoughts, practicing self-compassion, and reframing our internal narratives, we can transform "I can't believe they're letting me do this" into "I'm getting this opportunity because someone believes in me." The most successful attorneys aren't those who never doubt themselves—they're the ones who keep showing up despite their uncertainty.
Remember: growth is uncomfortable, self-doubt is normal, but you are not an imposter, and you are not alone. You belong exactly where you are, doing exactly what you're ready to do. Subscribe to The Grace Period for more honest conversations about finding balance and preserving your humanity in the high-stakes world of law.
Find out more at https://thegraceperiod.substack.com/.
Welcome to the Grace Period where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, emily Logan Stedman. In this demanding profession, it is crucial that we don't lose ourselves in the hustle for billable hours. On the Grace Period, we have honest conversations about finding consistency, minimizing chaos, developing coping strategies and destigmatizing mental health. It is time to prioritize our shared humanity to find our grace period. Hi, I'm Emily. I'm a commercial litigator and partner at an AmLaw 100 firm, and on today's episode, number 36 of the grace period, I want to talk about something that I think every lawyer, professional and human encounters at one point or another, and that's imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1:I once heard imposter syndrome described in a way that really resonated with me. It goes like this Imposter syndrome is what happens when we meet the edge of our comfort zone. Think about that for a second. Imposter syndrome is what happens when we meet the edge of our comfort zone. Think about that for a second. Imposter syndrome is what happens when we meet the edge of our comfort zone. It's not actually about being unqualified or unprepared. You're probably very qualified and overprepared. Imposter syndrome is really about growth. It's what happens when we approach the next higher level. It's happening in the moment when the stakes feel bigger, the expectations feel higher, and so our nerves kick in. You might think, or have thought, I can't believe they're letting me do this, or, lord, they're going to find out I'm faking it, or even why the hell would anyone trust me with this. These are all things I've thought and I still sometimes think that. But I want to be really clear. Imposter syndrome isn't a sign you're failing or faking it or not qualified. It's a sign that you're doing something new, something hard, something you haven't done before but are willing to try.
Speaker 1:In law, and especially in big law, there's no end point. There's no graduation ceremony when you move from associate to senior associate or from senior associate to partner although my firm does have a ceremony that's really cool and special. There's no end of school year to close out one level and celebrate the next. You just kind of keep moving forward, one challenge and case at a time. Sometimes it feels like you're scrambling to keep up, and sometimes it feels like you're always and still learning as you go. But here's the thing you are here, you are learning, you're doing it and you're not alone. Everyone, truly everyone, goes through this. We're all growing, learning, bouncing from one stage to the next, personally and professionally, and figuring it out as we go. We have one life. It's the first time. We're all doing it.
Speaker 1:I've talked to many colleagues, some of whom seem to be the most confident, some who have reached the highest echelons of private practice, and they'll admit to still feeling like an imposter at times. It's universal, it's human, so what can we do about it? Well, the next time you feel it creeping in, pause and ask yourself why do I feel this way? And is it true? Is it true, that you're not qualified? Is it true that you don't belong? Or is it just the discomfort that comes with growth and trying new things and being willing to take on new challenges?
Speaker 1:If you reframe your thinking, you can go from I can't believe they're letting me do this to I'm getting this new opportunity and someone thinks I can do it. Instead of ugh, they're going to see that I'm faking it. Think I am pushing myself to the next level. I am ready to try and someone around me trusts me to do it.
Speaker 1:Approach yourself and your thoughts with curiosity, openness, acceptance, grace and love, because the truth is we're not imposters, even if we sometimes feel that way and if you're listening to this and thinking but, emily, you're a partner at a big firm. You must have it all together. Let me assure you none of us do. Instead, the most successful people keep showing up, they keep learning, they keep growing and they keep taking on new challenges, even when they feel uncertain. They keep growing and they keep taking on new challenges even when they feel uncertain.
Speaker 1:So as you move through your career in big law or some other demanding profession or part of the law, remember this Growth is uncomfortable, self-doubt is normal, but you're not an imposter and you're not alone. You're where you need to be doing what you're supposed to be doing and doing what you're supposed to be doing and doing what you're ready to do. So until next time, take care of yourselves and each other and remember you belong here. You don't have to sacrifice your well-being for career success. You can prioritize self-care, set boundaries and ask for help. You can survive and even thrive in the law and a big law. Keeping these things in mind and taking care of ourselves and each other is how we find our grace. Period Disclaimer All views and opinions expressed in this episode are strictly my own. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It does not constitute professional advice of any kind, including legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is created by listening to this podcast.
