The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
A podcast for lawyers that explores the realities of big law, provides tips for better practice management, and shines a light on lawyer wellbeing.
The Grace Period: Shining A Light on Lawyer Wellbeing
Episode 53: Asking for Help Is A Professional Skill
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What if the strongest move you make this week is the simplest: ask for help. Emily Logan Stedman, a commercial litigator and big law partner, unpacks the high-achiever myth that independence equals competence and shows how it silently drains time, energy, and confidence. She reveals how refusing to speak up turns small roadblocks into late nights, rework, and missed growth—while a five-minute gut check could have unlocked momentum.
We dig into the practical side of collaboration: how to confirm context with an assigning attorney before you sink hours, when to pull a peer for a fast tone check, and why mentors accelerate judgment, not just careers. Emily shares word-for-word scripts that keep you in the driver’s seat—“I spent an hour mapping the issues and want to confirm I’m on track”—so you can invite guidance without handing off the wheel. You’ll learn to timebox solo work, validate assumptions, and ask better questions that surface blind spots early.
Support extends beyond the firm. Therapy helps name pressure and patterns that fuel burnout. Coaching turns ambition into systems for business development, focus, and sustainable growth. Together they create a steadier inner platform so your outer results improve without the panic sprints. Leaders get a blueprint to normalize help: praise thoughtful questions, set early check-in norms, and model vulnerability that elevates quality and speed. The outcome is a team culture where work improves, risk drops, and people stay human.
If you’ve been grinding to “figure it out” alone, consider a new operating system: connection. Take one script, try it this week, and watch your pace and clarity jump. If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a colleague who needs the nudge, and leave a quick review to help others find The Grace Period.
Find out more at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilystedman/.
Welcome to the Grace Period, where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, Emily Logan Steadman, a commercial litigator, partner, and someone who believes that there's always room for a little more grace, even in a high-stakes profession. On The Grace Period, I share real stories from my own journey in big law and invite you behind the scenes, beyond the billable hour, to talk about what it means to stay human in a demanding field. Whether you're a lawyer, a legal professional, or someone just trying to find your footing, this space is for you. Let's pull back the curtain, start the conversation, and find our grace period together. Disclaimer, the views and opinions shared on this podcast are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect those of my firm or any organization. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening does not create an attorney-client relationship. Welcome to episode 53 of the grace period. Today, I want to talk about something that might seem simple, but is often hard, not just for attorneys, but for high achievers and type A people. What is that? Asking for help. If you're like me, you probably grew up believing that being good enough meant being self-reliant, figuring it out, meeting expectations, and achieving those gold stars. Then you became a lawyer or some other professional, and that all ramped up. It ramped up to include never showing weakness and always having the answer, among other demands. We hear from others or from ourselves, just figure it out. Don't bother that partner or client or boss. Don't let them see you sweat, Emily. The truth? Refusing to ask for help doesn't make you stronger. It makes your journey lonely, risky, less sustainable, and less scalable. I learned this the hard way. Early in my career, I would spend hours, even days, wrestling with problems or drafts or research, trying to come up with the perfect outcome. If I was stuck, I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to tell anyone. I just said, figure it out. By the time I would figure it out, I'd lost a lot of time and energy. The fix or the figuring it out was often much simpler than I imagined and often would come faster if I had asked for help much sooner. Not asking for help doesn't just waste time and energy. It leads to burnout, it leads to mistakes that are avoidable, and it leads to missing growth opportunities. It also isolates you from other people, especially those who want to help and who want to see you succeed. So what does asking for help look like? Well, it's not just about crises or meltdown moments. It's about daily collaboration. It's about checking your understanding, getting feedback, learning from someone else's experience. It's about asking for context from a partner or the assigning attorney. It's about going to a peer for a gut check, not just on work-related things that are billable for client work, but also asking peers for gut checks on how you're feeling about the law, the profession, your firm generally. It's about getting perspective from a mentor. All of that can happen in your firm and outside your firm from lawyers and other professionals and friends who know you and who you trust. It also means seeking help outside of those things, going to other professionals, such as a therapist. I found a therapist within the first six months of joining private practice in a big firm, or finding a coach. I've spent the last two years with a business development coach, and it has transformed the way I think about my practice and my future. It also means finding trusted friends, both colleagues and outside your firm. One of the most important things in my professional career is having friends who have journeyed the same journey as me, who are rising through the ranks at the same time that I am, who we can bounce ideas off of each other and talk through those hard moments together. So, how do you start asking for help? Well, I'm confident that all of you listening to this are good at learning new things. So think about asking help, asking for help as a professional skill. It's something you can learn, it's something you can practice. It's about getting information and the support you need to do your best work. It's a job skill. You can learn it. Also, try scripts. This is how I coach associates. Go to the assigning attorney and say, I've spent about an hour on this and I want to make sure I'm on the right track. Can I run something by you? Or these are the search terms I've used. These are the documents I've looked at. Where else would you look? How would you do it differently? Or I'm not sure I'm seeing the full picture. Can I get your take on this? Make it a conversation. Also, normalize this within your teams. If you're starting to delegate to manage others, share when you've needed help and encourage others to do the same. Lead by example. And most importantly, ask for help much sooner than you think you want to or then you should. Don't wait until you're underwater or behind. Then it's probably too late. If you're struggling to ask for help, you're not alone. It's a skill, one you can learn and one you can practice. And it's not a weakness to ask for help. It's a sign of strength and courage and bravery to ask for help and to model asking for help for those looking up to you and following how you do things. And honestly, asking for help is something I still practice every single day. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. Remember, you don't have to choose between your well-being and your ambition. By setting boundaries, building supportive habits, and giving yourself permission to pause, you can thrive in the law and in life. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimer The views expressed here are solely my own and do not represent the official policy or position of any firm or any organization. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only, not professional or legal advice. Listening does not create an attorney client relationship.
