Episode 61: Generations and Their Boundaries

Big Law trains us to say yes first and figure out the rest later. With four generations working side by side—Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z—our shared challenge is not whether we work hard, but how we do it without breaking and how we lead teams that actually want to stay.

I walk through the tension leaders feel when a junior draws a line, the quiet jealousy of watching someone claim guardrails we never had, and the pride that comes when boundaries sharpen the work instead of softening it. We talk about the real trade-offs of the partner journey, how to select high-impact yeses, and why declining low-value tasks is not defiance—it’s strategy. 

You’ll hear practical guidance for associates and partners: set explicit baseline expectations, define what “urgent” means on your team, plan coverage early, and praise foresight as much as heroics. The profession is changing, and that’s good news. Standards stay high, but the routes to meet them can diversify.

If you’re building your career, expect to work hard and choose your yeses with care. If you’re leading, create room for people to succeed in ways that honor their capacity and values. Subscribe, share this with a colleague who needs it, and leave a review with one boundary you’re committing to this year.

Find out more at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilystedman/.

Transcript

Welcome And Purpose

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Welcome to the Grace Period, where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, Emily Logan Steadman, a commercial litigator, partner, and someone who believes there's always room for a little more grace, even in a high-stakes profession. Here, I share real stories from my own journey in big law and invite you behind the scenes, beyond the billable hour, to talk about what it means to stay human in a demanding field. Whether you're a lawyer, a legal professional, or someone trying to find your footing, this space is for you. Let's pull back the curtain, start the conversation, and find our grace period together. Disclaimer, the views and opinions shared on this podcast are mine alone and do not reflect those of my firm or any organization. The podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening does not create an attorney-client relationship. Welcome to season seven of the grace period. Today I want to talk about generational differences. I love generational differences. At my very first firm, in my very first associate training, they brought in an expert on generational differences. Why? Because back then, which was 10 years ago, we were already at a point where there were three generations in the workplace: Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials. Now there's four with Gen Z rising to the ranks. Every generation views work differently. Every generation views home and family life differently. We have different experiences, and some of us overlap with our experiences. I am an elder millennial. I was born in 1986, but my parents are older. They are boomers. So I have some characteristics in line with Gen X because their parents were in similar age to my parents. I say all that to say that generational differences often explain a lot of the tension and hiccups we have in the workplace because we're simply viewing the instance through a different lens and perspective. Recently, I gave a talk on lawyer well-being and I talked about boundaries and saying no. And I got a question I always get. It's such a consistent question. Gen Z says no more than the other generations. How do we react to that? My answer is always twofold. First, to Gen Z, if you want to be partner, if you want to be general counsel, go in-house, or reach any big goal, you're gonna have to say yes more often than you want to. To elder millennials, Gen X, and boomers, if you want to retain talent on your teams or at your firms, you're gonna have to accept that you're going to be told more often than you're used to. We are all seeing it. Younger attorneys have better boundaries. I see generally two reactions to this. One is anger and frustration, writing people off as not being hard workers, the stereotype of one generation bashing the generation coming up behind it. The other reaction is often jealousy, and this is where I tend to fall. I get frustrated a little bit because it sometimes leaves me in the lurch, but then I wonder, why do they get to say no when I couldn't? And a little bit of pride. Sometimes I'm proud of them for saying no. Again, and this was particularly true for me as a senior associate. I was left in a bind when I couldn't find an associate to help me. When that happens, the buck stops with you and you have to get it done. And that can be frustrating. And it is okay to be frustrated by that. But there's a fine line between meeting and beating your firm's expectations and overwhelming yourself to the point where your work suffers. And that is a consequence of saying yes to everything. That is a lesson I learned the very hard way. So here's ultimately where I land. I wanted to make partner and I did. I want to make equity partner and I believe I will. But I want my path to look differently than those who came before me. And I want those coming up behind me to feel empowered to do it differently too. Of course, every job has baseline requirements. If you want to keep a job and advance in your career, you need to meet and often beat those requirements. But you can do that with your own blueprint, one that honors you, your boundaries, your strengths, and what you want for your career. You do not need to want the same things I want for my career. I don't need to want the same things for my career as those senior rainmakers, most of whom I admire. We can honor what's required by our jobs and those high expectations while also supporting new ways of working and leading. The profession is changing, and that's a good thing. The profession is changing and we will have to adapt to retain talent. So if you're building your career, don't be afraid to set boundaries and define success on your own terms while recognizing that it'll take a lot of hard work to achieve your goals. And if you're leading teams, I encourage you to make space for others to do the same. Just because it was hard for us doesn't mean it has to be hard for them. And I want to be clear nowhere in this podcast episode, in any of my podcast episodes, on any of my LinkedIn posts, are you hearing me say that you can do the big law job nine to five or that you can do it in 40 hours a week. That's just not true. I work a lot, I work very hard, and I have still learned to have boundaries and do the job in a way that makes sense for me. There are millions of attorneys, millions of professionals out there working more than 40 hours a week, working jobs that are not nine to five. Very few of us, I suspect, are doing it in the exact same way. And that's what I'm advocating for. There is no one size fits all for what success looks like or how we make those more than 40 hours happen. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. Remember, you don't have to choose between your well-being and your ambition. By setting boundaries, building supportive habits, and giving yourself permission to pause, you can thrive in law and in life. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimer the views expressed here are solely my own and do not represent the official policy or position of my firm or any organization. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only, not professional or legal advice. It does not create an attorney client relationship.