Episode 64: The Partner Question

Partnership can feel like the default finish line, but chasing a title you do not truly want is a fast track to stress, resentment, and burnout. In this episode, I unpack what it looks like when you move through your career on autopilot, assuming partnership is waiting out on the horizon, then start noticing the real sacrifices and realities that come with that path. I also talk honestly about how normal it is to lean in and lean out over the years, and why regular self-checks matter: Do you like your job right now? What would you change? What does success look like in a year, in five years, in ten?

We also get practical about support. I explain why having partner mentors can make the decision clearer, especially when you can ask, “Is partnership worth it?” and get a candid answer. Just as important, I share the value of peers in your same “vintage" who can talk through the hard parts and celebrate the wins with you. 

If you are weighing the path to partnership or questioning your next step in your legal career, listen now, then subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review so more attorneys can find this conversation.

Find out more at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilystedman/.

Transcript

Welcome And Disclaimer

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Grace Period, where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world of big law. I'm your host, Emily Logan Steadman, a commercial litigator, partner, and someone who believes there's always room for a little more grace, even in a high-stakes profession. Here I share real stories from my own journey in big law and invite you beyond behind the scenes, beyond the billable hour, and to talk about what it means to stay human in a demanding field. Whether you're a lawyer, a legal professional, or someone trying to find your footing, this space is for you. Let's pull back the curtain, start the conversation, and find our grace period together. Disclaimer, the views and opinions shared on this podcast are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect those of the firm or any organization. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening does not create an attorney-client relationship. Welcome to this episode of the Grace Period.

The Question Behind Partnership

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Recently I had the opportunity to speak to some new attorneys and younger attorneys in Minnesota about the path to partnership. And over the next several weeks on the Grace Period, I want to share some of the thoughts from that talk. Today, I want to start with the question I encourage every associate to ask themselves. Do I actually want to be a partner? And if so, why? I want you to really think about that question. Take some time to reflect. Do I really want to be a partner? And if so, why? Honestly, there's no right or wrong answer to this question, and your answer may change over time. That's okay.

Changing Your Mind Over Time

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Early in my career, I was sure partnership was the goal. I honestly didn't even give it that much thought. I just assumed it was sort of out there on the distant horizon for me to take if and when I wanted it. I rarely, rarely, rarely though actually asked myself, is that what I want? And as I grew in the profession, I began to see the sacrifices and the realities of that path to partnership, and I started questioning it. Also, I loved being a senior associate, like truly loved it. I could see myself as a super senior associate for the rest of my career. So over the whole years, sometimes I leaned into the partnership track and sometimes I leaned out. That is totally normal. So again, the key is to check in with yourself regularly. Do you like your job? Why or why not? If not, what can you do about it? What do you actually want? What does success look like for you right now in a year, in five years, or 10 years? Are you pursuing partnership because that's what you want, or because you just think you should? Or because that's what you think others expect of you.

Mentors And Peer Support

SPEAKER_00 2:23

It's also important to have partner mentors, one, maybe two or three, or senior associates who are close to making partner who you can talk to about this. I was able to ask my mentor, is partnership worth it? He said yes and explained why. His answer, his candor, his overall guidance helped me get to that spot too. Yes, I want to be a partner. Another aspect of this is having friends, your vintage, who are also on this path. They may be at your firm, they may be at other firms. My friend at another firm who was on this path with me, and we ultimately made partner at the same time, has been extremely important to my development and growth as a partner because I've been able to talk with her about the hard things and is this worth it? And are we gonna make it there? Do we want to make it there? And when we did make it, we were able to celebrate together. So having those people your age or your same year in the firm who are on the path with you are just as important as those people more senior to you who you can talk candidly with about what it's like to make partner.

Partnership Is Not The Only Path

SPEAKER_00 3:29

And I want to say this being partner is only one path. There are many, many ways to lead and make an impact in this profession. And partnership is just one of those. I'll stop here.

Closing Thoughts On Ambition

SPEAKER_00 3:42

So a very short episode today. But if you think you are on the path to partnership, if you're thinking about being on the path to partnership, I want to emphasize the importance of making sure that's actually what you want. And over the next couple of episodes, we'll talk about what to do if that is what you want and going all in on that goal. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. Remember, you don't have to choose between your well-being and your ambition. By setting boundaries, building supportive habits, and giving yourself permission to pause, you can thrive in law and in life. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimer The views expressed here are solely my own and do not represent the official policy or position of my firm or any organization. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only, not professional or legal advice. Listening does not create an attorney client relationship.