Episode 65: Redefining The Path To Partnership

On this episode, I’m sharing my own path to partner, including the privilege I grew up with, the expectations I absorbed early, and the moment I realized my identity had gotten tangled up in being a litigator and a “successful” attorney.

I walk through the detour that gave me real clarity: Teach for America. From there, I talk about law school, clerking for three years, and why I resisted the push toward larger firms until I felt ready to choose with my eyes open.

Then I share candidly about the early private practice years, when I tried to do what I thought everyone expected and it backfired. The turning point came through self-reflection, real conversations at home, and a lateral move to a new firm that became a clean slate. I share what changed: boundaries, self-care, practice management systems, and a new definition of ambition that does not require self-erasure.

If you’re on the partnership track, considering a lateral move, or struggling with attorney mental health in a high-stakes environment, this one is for you. Subscribe, share with a friend in the trenches, and leave a review so more lawyers can find support and a healthier way to build a career.

Find out more at https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilystedman/.

Transcript

Welcome And Ground Rules

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Welcome to the Grace Period, where we get real about attorney mental health and well-being and pull back the veil on the high-stakes world big law. I'm your host, Emily Logan Steadman, a commercial litigator, partner, and someone who believes there's always room for a little more grace, even in a high-stakes profession. Here, I share real stories from my own journey in big law and invite you behind the scenes, beyond the billable hour, and to talk about what it means to stay human even in the demanding field. Whether you're a lawyer, a legal professional, or someone trying to find your footing, this space is for you. Let's pull back the curtain, start the conversation, and find our grace period together. Disclaimer, the views and opinions shared on this podcast are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect those of my firm or any organization. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It is not legal advice, and listening does not create an attorney-client relationship. Welcome to episode 65 of the grace

Why Partnership Needs A Why

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period. Today I want to continue talking about the path to partnership. So in episode 64, I talked about checking in with yourself, asking if partner is even what you want, and if so, knowing the reason why you want that. Today I want to talk a little bit about my journey to

Privilege Expectations And Early Identity

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partnership. At the top, I must admit, I come from a healthy dose of privilege. Both my parents are attorneys. I was born while my mom was in law school, and my birth announcement is quite literally a joke about me being my parents' newest associate. So from a very early age, there was a bit of an expectation, maybe pressure, for me to be an attorney. And honestly, I would have told you one day I'm gonna be an attorney or a teacher. Yes, I had dreams of being a weatherman as a very young child, and that morphed into a brief dream of being the next Katie Courick. But ultimately, if I was seriously asked this question, I would answer, I'm gonna be an attorney or a teacher. Fast forward to undergrad, and I'm a senior at Wake Forest, Godeeks, and I'm getting ready to take the LSAT. Since high school, I'd also wanted to do Teach for America. I grew up in public schools, K-12, and I learned about Teach for America in high school, and its mission really resonated with me and is something I

Teach For America As A Reality Check

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deeply believe in. So I took the LSAT and applied to Teach for America at the same time. I really did not want to go to law school straight out of undergrad. I was educationally burned out. Wake was a very intense academic experience for me. It's sometimes called work forest, and that really was true for me. I was studying right up until graduation. I also wanted to make sure that if I went to law school, I went because I wanted to and not because it's what my parents wanted or expected, or simply because I had nothing else to do after undergrad. So luckily, fatefully, I got in to Teach for America shortly after taking the LSAT. Teaching fifth grade in rural Arizona was not a break. It was one of the hardest and most transformative experiences of my life. But it gave me time to think. Do I want to be an attorney? I loved teaching. I loved teaching fifth grade. I still think about my students almost every day. But I hated Arizona. Sorry if you're listening from Arizona, but the desert life is not for me. So I thought, do I teach or go to law school? And I thought, if I'm gonna end up moving home to Atlanta where my family is anyway, I might as well give law school a try. And if I hate it, then I can move home and teach fifth grade the rest of my life. If you're listening to this podcast, you know that the rest, as they say, is history.

Law School Goals And Three Years Clerking

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I ended up at the University of Mississippi for law school. I wanted uh a more fun experience than undergrad. And my I really had one goal coming into and through law school. I wanted to clerk. I knew I wanted to litigate, and because my mom, I was born while my mom was in law school, I remember some of the early years of her career, including when she clerked for a state court judge in my hometown. Her judge became like a family member, and I knew it was a really important experience for my mom. And so clerking is a goal I pursued. I ended up clerking for three years after law school in Milwaukee. And that is another example of me taking time to figure out what I wanted versus what others expected me. When you do well in law school, you're pushed into private practice and to larger firms. I was skeptical of that. I knew private practice and I knew bigger firms would be a commitment and a hard one. And I knew a lot of people didn't last a full career in those roles. So I wanted to be sure if I did that that I was going in eyes wide open. So while clerking, I met with attorneys at many different types of firms trying to figure out what do I really want. In the end, I chose an AMLAW 200 firm in Milwaukee.

Early Big Law Burnout And Panic

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And those first four years of private practice were very hard for me. I often think about it as forcing myself into a square hole as a round peg. I had only thought about being an attorney and being a litigator, but I had never really thought about what that actually means. You know, I didn't have a traditional summer associate experience. Um, so I had just sort of thought these are my goals and I achieved them. But I hadn't really thought about who am I as a litigator? Who am I as a big law attorney? What do I like and not like? Who do I like working for and not working for? Both partners and clients. How do I build a practice that I actually like and that doesn't kill me? And mostly I did what I saw others doing, which was, of course, mostly men and mostly married white men. And I fell into this habit of doing what others expected of me or what I thought they expected of me, which did not serve me and did not lead to success. And ultimately I burned out. I started having panic attacks. I cried. I thought about leaving the law altogether. And that was really that experience, which culminated in 2020, was really the first time I asked myself, is this what I want? And the answer at that time was no. And that was a hard place to land because what else was I gonna do? By that point, my entire identity had been become wrapped up in being a big law attorney and being a civil litigator. So I started doing a lot of self-reflection and really having a lot of real and hard conversations with my husband. He was actually the one who sat me down and said, I think you like being an attorney. I think you just need a change of environment.

A Lateral Move And A Clean Slate

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And so I ended up lateraling to Hush Blackwell, where I am today. And what all that self-reflection and honestly that struggle taught me is that I do like being an attorney. And I do like the benefits that come from being at a bigger firm. And I could implement better boundaries, self-care, and I could implement better practice management. And ultimately, yes, I did want to be partner, but if I was going to stay and if I was going to make partner or even just pursue the partnership path, I needed it to look very different from what it was looking like for me and from what I was assuming others expect of me. So I entered Hush, eyes wide open, took it as a clean slate, took everything I learned from my first firm, including some really valuable relationships and guidance from mentors, and started to implement systems, all the systems and operations that I talk about on this podcast. And what that caused is me loving the work. So I entered Hush as a senior associate, and I loved being a senior associate. I liked managing other associates, I liked managing paralegals and assistants, I liked managing e-discovery, and I liked having more autonomy and control over matters with the safety net of partner oversight. So I took my first few years at Hush to really evaluate and reflect. Do I want to be a super senior associate

Ask The Partnership Question Often

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the rest of my life or do I want to go for partner? And if you take nothing else from this conversation and last week's conversation, I hope you take this. You need to ask yourself this question regularly. Do I want to be partner and why? You need to know the reason for your answer. And it needs to be more than that's just the next thing, that's what my partner, my spouse wants from me, that's what my parents expect from me, or that's just what my firm expects from me. You need to also be okay with that answer changing. And it might change often because we go through hard times in this job that make us question, how long can we keep doing this? But when the answer is yes, yes, I want to pursue partnership, you need to go all in on that goal. And over the next few weeks, I'll share with you some of those things you need to go all in on the path to partnership.

Closing Thoughts On Thriving

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Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Grace Period. Remember, you don't have to choose between your well-being and your ambition. By setting boundaries, building supportive habits, and giving yourself permission to pause, you can thrive in law and in life. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other. That is the path to our grace period. Disclaimer The views expressed here are solely my own and do not represent the official policy or position of my firm or any organization. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only, not professional or legal advice, and listening does not create an attorney client relationship.