"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself and brings it out of you." - Bob Proctor
"Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction." - John Crosby
"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else." - Booker T. Washington
"Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind." - Samuel Taylor
Key Take Aways
It's not really just about teaching trade secrets. It's about caring about the person, knowing their weaknesses and strengths.
We're not users, we're givers. We're not taking advantage, we're trying to help others.
Being transparent is vulnerable. It lets people see you as you really are.
Communication is not what I said, it's what they heard.
Help them know it's safe to ask you questions. Let them know they can feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of you.
Ask questions, don't make assumptions, because everybody's journey is unique.
In 2 Timothy 2, the apostle Paul told Timothy: now, Timothy, what you've heard me say in front of a lot of people, I want you to go find some other people that you can say it to, and I want you to find people that can tell others what you're saying. So I'm going to teach you to teach others.
Have you ever glimpsed the untapped potential in someone, itching to guide them towards realizing it? Join me, Austin Gardner, as I recount the transformative experiences of mentoring, from young men in Peru to the leaders in the States. This episode is an intimate look at the reciprocal enrichment of both mentor and mentee—where seeing and fostering hidden promise nurtures a legacy that transcends generations. I lay bare the cornerstone of mentorship: mutual growth, a journey we embark on together, challenging and supporting each other to be our best selves. It's about more than just advice; it's about forming connections that forge stronger individuals and communities.
We also unravel the threads of authenticity and vulnerability that are essential to building lasting mentor-mentee bonds. Let's learn from the trials of Charles Spurgeon and draw inspiration from "The Dream Giver," understanding how to balance encouragement with the necessary push beyond comfort zones. Throughout our dialogue, we recognize the role of an active listener and probe the depths of what it truly means to stand by someone's side as they confront and conquer their fears. This is more than a podcast—it's a guide to becoming an indispensable pillar in someone's life, where the act of mentoring becomes a symbiotic dance of growth and fulfillment. So, come along and find out how you can leave an indelible mark on the hearts and minds of those you guide, shaping a support system that re
"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself and brings it out of you." - Bob Proctor
"Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction." - John Crosby
"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else." - Booker T. Washington
"Advice is like snow - the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind." - Samuel Taylor
Key Take Aways
It's not really just about teaching trade secrets. It's about caring about the person, knowing their weaknesses and strengths.
We're not users, we're givers. We're not taking advantage, we're trying to help others.
Being transparent is vulnerable. It lets people see you as you really are.
Communication is not what I said, it's what they heard.
Help them know it's safe to ask you questions. Let them know they can feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of you.
Ask questions, don't make assumptions, because everybody's journey is unique.
In 2 Timothy 2, the apostle Paul told Timothy: now, Timothy, what you've heard me say in front of a lot of people, I want you to go find some other people that you can say it to, and I want you to find people that can tell others what you're saying. So I'm going to teach you to teach others.
Have you ever glimpsed the untapped potential in someone, itching to guide them towards realizing it? Join me, Austin Gardner, as I recount the transformative experiences of mentoring, from young men in Peru to the leaders in the States. This episode is an intimate look at the reciprocal enrichment of both mentor and mentee—where seeing and fostering hidden promise nurtures a legacy that transcends generations. I lay bare the cornerstone of mentorship: mutual growth, a journey we embark on together, challenging and supporting each other to be our best selves. It's about more than just advice; it's about forming connections that forge stronger individuals and communities.
We also unravel the threads of authenticity and vulnerability that are essential to building lasting mentor-mentee bonds. Let's learn from the trials of Charles Spurgeon and draw inspiration from "The Dream Giver," understanding how to balance encouragement with the necessary push beyond comfort zones. Throughout our dialogue, we recognize the role of an active listener and probe the depths of what it truly means to stand by someone's side as they confront and conquer their fears. This is more than a podcast—it's a guide to becoming an indispensable pillar in someone's life, where the act of mentoring becomes a symbiotic dance of growth and fulfillment. So, come along and find out how you can leave an indelible mark on the hearts and minds of those you guide, shaping a support system that re
This is Austin Gardner and I want to welcome you to the World Evangelism Podcast. This is a special edition. I want to be talking to you today about mentoring and you know, usually I come to you with the country and the person and the book and all of that. But because I know that I also have people listening that are missionaries and pastors, and I'm so excited I get to talk to you. I want to add value, I want to be a very valuable part of your life and your ministry, and so I just want to talk to you today about mentoring. I've spent my life mentoring young men. I mentored hundreds of young men in the country of Peru, and then I've mentored dozens of young men in the United States of America, and God has greatly blessed that part of my ministry, and I know He'll do that in your life, and I've had people ask me over the years how do you go about doing that? And so I thought I would sit down and just kind of share with you some things I'd like to start off with, I guess, maybe one of the most basic things of all. Let me just give you some quotes that I just think are awesome. You know, the one is the Bible Iron sharpens iron, and so you know, it's not that you're better, you're the same quality, you're the same person, both iron, both children of God, both serving God. But one helps the other. But here's some good ones. I like this one by Bob Proctor A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself and brings it out of you.
Speaker 1:
That's got to be an all-time classic. A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself and helps bring it out. I don't know if I could have found a better quote than that one in it. It's just a tremendous idea. You understand, mentorship empowers you to impart your legacy. It allows you to teach someone else, to pick up and carry forward what you could never do in one single lifetime. And so you want to be a mentor. And mentoring is like. This is another good quote by John Crosby mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen and a push in the right direction.
Speaker 1:
How about that? Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen and a push in the right direction. Ear to listen and a push in the right direction. And so you know you want to spend time helping other people, and I'm going to try to give you some steps to take in doing that. And then I want to give you some questions that you'll discuss, and you'll be able to find this in the transcript also of the program. I love Booker T Washington. Last quote of the day, booker T Washington said quote of the day Booker T Washington said if you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. How about that? If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. That's really Bible, isn't it? Isn't that really what Bible is about? We're to esteem the other better than ourselves. What a tremendous quote. Now let me just give you some steps.
Speaker 1:
The number one thing if you want to mentor people, is that you're going to have to have a genuine interest in them, and you got to get to know them on a personal level. Now I'm really talking to pastors and missionaries, but this works in business also. You know, it's not really just about teaching trade secrets. It's about caring about the person. It's about knowing them and knowing who they are, knowing their weaknesses and their strengths, knowing how they react under pressure, how they react when they're fun. But you get to know them and you're genuinely interested in them. That brings the quote up to mind.
Speaker 1:
You know, we don't use people. We don't use people to build our ministry. We don't use people to build our business. We use our ministry to build people. We use our business to build people. In other words, it's the opposite. We're not users, we're givers. We're not taking advantage, we're trying to help others.
Speaker 1:
Now, if you're going to mentor, what you're going to have to do, what you're going to have to work on, is you're going to have to build trust, and you do that by being transparent. I will just tell you being transparent is vulnerable. It makes you vulnerable. It lets people see you as you really are. It lets them pick up on your flaws. I heard a long time ago a famous preacher say don't ever let your church people get to know you, because they'll see that you have feet of clay. And then he used the comment, which is you know, it's a true adage familiarity breeds contempt. That's not who we are and that's not who we want to be. That's not who we are and that's not who we want to be. If you're going to mentor, it's more like you know, it's the advanced level of discipleship.
Speaker 1:
This isn't new member stuff. It's Jesus and 12 guys. It's Jesus with life, on life, discipleship, spending time with those men and sharing his life. They saw him on the early morning and the late night when he was rested, when he was tired and when he was hungry. And don't forget, jesus was 100% human. He was 100% human. And then I'd like to throw in above that Jesus saw them and he knew them and he was genuinely interested in them as people.
Speaker 1:
Can I just say to you we want to build trust. That means you've got to tell the truth. That means you've got to see beyond surface issues. I like to tell people see beyond the skin and beyond the sin. See beyond the skin and see beyond the sin. You see if you saw the person, if you really saw who they were. This works for missionaries, because sometimes missionaries can have a superiority complex. They can feel like that they are from a superior country, a superior Bible knowledge and superior morality and they don't see people as people and they can't be objects, they can't be some ministry tool. They need to be genuine people and we're going to have to build trust so they believe they can trust us, they believe that we love them, they believe that we are genuinely interested in them, then I'd like to tell you that to mentor, you're going to have to practice active listening Now. You're going to have to practice active listening Now. You know what that means. I guess I'm going to assume that you do.
Speaker 1:
But active listening means you're not preparing what you're going to say while the other person's talking. You know, many times we're not really listening. We're not really listening. What we're doing is we are thinking of what we're going to say. That's not listening. That's almost arguing. It's the one-up story. It is me being a little bit better than you. That's the old I walked on the moon story. Whatever story you tell, I've got to have one better. No, let's practice active listening.
Speaker 1:
Active listening, that means that you start asking open-end questions. See, you need to understand their goals. You need to understand what their challenges are. You need to understand it from their perspective, because none of us are alike, but all of us are special, because God made you exactly like you are, and so you don't want to try to force somebody else into the same cubbyhole you're in and to being just like you. You want to listen to them because you're genuinely interested in them, and when you do that. That's going to build trust. We've already talked about that.
Speaker 1:
Now I think sometimes this may be alarming to pastors and missionaries, but they need to know you're not going to get mad and make them feel uncomfortable when they ask questions. Sometimes our people are like we're like, if you ask that question, I will shoot you. If you ask that question, I'm going to slap you down. And so the mentee is afraid to say, afraid to question, afraid to make. It's what he's thinking. You know what ends up happening. He goes back to his house, his friends, the dorm room or wherever it is, and they talk about it anyway, but without your wisdom. So they need to know it's safe to ask you questions. They need to know that they can feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of you. They need to be able to share their concerns. And are you ready? They need to be able to share their concerns and are you ready? They need to be able to share their doubts If they're going to discuss with you.
Speaker 1:
You know why do we do this, and maybe I'm not sure that's right. You shouldn't get defensive, but you should lovingly help them and I'll tell you the truth. They're going to help you grow. They're going to help you understand more what you need to be doing in your life to be the better leader, because it's a two-way street. It's iron sharpening iron and them helping you. So I would like to ask you to help them always know they can say anything they want to say and ask anything, and you're going to love them when it's over. You're not going to get mad.
Speaker 1:
Now what's our stand on any issue Gender, homosexuality. Don't fight, don't get angry. Abortion, but help them see it and be patient with them. Be patient and they don't catch things as quickly as you and they don't understand, like you, and they haven't lived the life you've lived. And you're helping them catch up to speed and gain speed and get up to where you are and they're years behind you. So you're going to be patient with them. You're going to move at the speed of the flock. You remember when Jacob said if I overdrive them in one day I'll kill them. You don't want to do that. That's not who you are and that's not what you're going to do.
Speaker 1:
So when you give advice to the guy you're mentoring, you need to be real careful, to be soft and gentle and slow in the giving of advice. I like a quote that I read from Samuel Taylor. He said advice is like snow the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind. And so when you're going to give advice, you want to not be don't dump it all. Not a truckload, not a truckload, not a bunch of information. You give a little bit and you give it today and you give more, but then you pause and you say, well, tell me what you really think about that. You see, it's not when you're communicating, it's not what you're saying, it's what they're hearing, and they don't always hear what you think you're saying. Well, you can say, no, I know what I said, but see, communication is not what I said, it's what they heard. And so we're going to have to work on that with them and help them get that kind of clear and kind of straight in their own mind. Let them share their thoughts, let them tell you what they think.
Speaker 1:
Now I think maybe one of the tougher parts of being a mentor is you really got to feel what they feel. You know, you got to understand them. And they're not from our generation. I mean, I come from a very tough generation that followed the even tougher generation. I come from a home where discipline was far different than it is today and work. I come from a home where discipline was far different than it is today and work. I come from a home where I got up every morning and milked a cow at 530 in the morning. I milked the cow when I got home from school. I come from a home where I had to work hard most every day of my life. It taught me a great deal. I am not complaining, but the world today may not be like the world that you grew up in, and so they're going to be different. They're going to think differently and they're going to need you to be careful, to help them and to feel a vulnerability, a caring about them. So you got to learn to feel for them.
Speaker 1:
We didn't deal with pornography in a big way when I was a kid. If you wanted to look at pornography, you didn't flip on a cell phone. There wasn't such a thing. You had to go to a store in a little town where the guy knew your dad. Then you had to walk over to a certain corner of the store and you had to pull the cover off the magazine. And, to be blunt, honest with you. I don't know that I ever did that. I only saw pornography when my cousins brought it to family reunions because it was hard to get to. I don't remember homosexuality being anything, hardly ever discussed. It's a different world. So feel for them and understand them.
Speaker 1:
Now here comes a strong truth that might help Ask, don't assume, no assumptions allowed. Ask questions, not assumptions, because everybody's journey is unique and let curiosity guide you. So you want to ask questions, you need to know their needs, you need to know their perspectives, you need to know their experiences, you need to know where they come from, and so what you want to do is not make assumptions. Now, making assumptions really makes a chump out of both of you, because you don't know what their answer is and they don't know, and nobody knows what's going on here, because we're jumping to conclusions, and that's something that we don't want to do. Now, I've only got a couple more of these and I'm going to share some questions with you, but you're going to share your journey, but you're not going to share the glory of your journey. You're going to share the true journey, your personal experiences. You're going to share your successes, but you're going to share your failures.
Speaker 1:
They need to see you as a genuine, real person. Remember trust. They need to know that you are like them. You remember Jesus was tempted in all points, like as we. That's what the bible said. In other words, jesus tempted just like I am. Well, he didn't sin, but I do and I fail and I'm human and I mess up. And they need to know that. They learn valuable lessons from that.
Speaker 1:
Um, I mean, charles spurgeon used to fight strong bouts of depression. He did that so much one time, worried about money, that one of his men brought over a bunch of money and said I want to leave this over here, these papers that would give you a lot of money to help you if you're in trouble and it's yours to use. And Spurgeon would not use it and gave it back eventually. But he said you know, it was a great comfort knowing that you didn't just say it, it was available, it was truly available. So you want to share the journey. I know that because Spurgeon put that in his material. I know that because it's written up and I read it in a book. So share your journey.
Speaker 1:
They learn valuable lessons from watching you and listening to you and then celebrate achievements. You know, when they raise some support or preach their first message or win their first soul to Christ or read their Bible from cover to cover, when they write their first blog article, when they design their webpage, they need encouragement, they need to be celebrated. Doesn't matter how small the accomplishment is, we all need to be celebrated. Isn't it amazing that you can't play American football without cheerleaders? Isn't that amazing? Big old, solid, big-sized men need cheerleaders. Isn't that amazing? Big old, solid, big size men need cheerleaders. We all need cheerleaders. I really think one of the main things that God did when he gave me a wife was give me a built-in cheerleader, somebody who would believe in me and somebody who would think highly of me. So I want to challenge you to celebrate with them. Now.
Speaker 1:
My last statement, before we go to a few questions you could ask, is this you got to encourage them to step outside of their comfort zone. They got to try new things. Oh, there's a great book called the Dream Giver and I will try to put a link to that in the notes so you can get the Dream Giver. I love that book because it's about a guy named Ordinary who lived in a town called Familiar and when the city limit sign was the comfort zone and to step out and do whatever he was called to do, he had to step outside of his comfort zone. I love that book. It's one of my favorites. I typically read it at least once a year.
Speaker 1:
So here's what you got to do. You got to help them. Now, they can't jump off to the moon at one time, but every time they step out of their comfort zone, maybe it's public prayer, maybe it is a testimony, maybe it is a five minute message, maybe it's going soul winning with you and taking their turn to share. But you want to help them step out of their comfort zone. So I've tried to give you a few points and some good quotes.
Speaker 1:
Now, in mentoring, you got to spend a lot of time listening. You remember active listening, and so you got to learn to ask questions that cause them to talk to you. It's not about you talking to them. You're not their teacher. A teacher might stand in front of the class and give information, but you're a mentor and you share life together Life on life, discipleship.
Speaker 1:
So here's a good question what are your long-term and your short-term goals? Who do you want to be? What is your goal in life? What goals have you set for yourself? Then listen, what steps have you taken working towards those goals? What barriers are hindering you? How could I maybe help you get to the goals that you feel like God has for your life? And so they need to know somebody's coming alongside. In a way, we're kind of working like the comforter, the Holy Spirit. We are coming alongside to give guidance. We're not the Holy Spirit. That's not what I meant, but I'm just saying thank God, I'm not alone in this world. So what are their obstacles? What's hindering them? What are their challenges? What strategies have they developed to overcome these challenges? How are they navigating, addressing these issues in their life, because we're all going to face them.
Speaker 1:
Another question would be have you had any significant achievements or milestones that made you feel better? And help them just enjoy for a moment the glory they can enjoy, just for a few minutes maybe, but they ought to know. You know what they did, and so you have them share accomplishments and you brag on them and you're thankful for them and you're happy that God's doing something in their life and you help them learn to capitalize on it and move on to the next thing. Ask them? What drives your passion? You know, what do you really like? What are you enjoying doing? What are you trying to accomplish, and what just wakes you up in the morning and keeps you alive and keeps you living? How does that line up with what you've believed to be your calling? That's what you want to talk to them about. Just a few more.
Speaker 1:
How can I help you step out of your comfort zone? Just talk to me now. Name some of your fears and some of your reservations. Let me hear what's hindering you and maybe I got some insight. Or maybe I can walk through the door with you, or maybe I can be there for you. I want to be your cheerleader. I want to be there with you. I want to be your cheerleader. I want to be there with you. What do you need to know? What do you need to know? What skills or knowledge should I be helping you get and accomplish so that you could be all you want to be? Just tell me what are your priorities in life, what are you setting up as your future, your needs, what it's you're looking for? Let me help you line that up to accomplish the goals that you've set.
Speaker 1:
How about this one? How are we going to cope with failures and setbacks? And you need to help them understand there are going to be failures and setbacks and you need to help them understand there are going to be failures and setbacks and they need to know John Maxwell's written great books about failure failing forward. I'll put a link to that. But you ought to help them learn that. How have they handled failure in the past? How are they going to handle it now? What did they learn Then? You know you want to sit down with them and this will be our last question. But you want to sit down with them and this will be our last question.
Speaker 1:
But you want to sit down with them and really help them clarify, clear up, set in stone, what their personal values are, what their priorities are. You see, once they know who they are and what they believe and they decide today what they're going to do tomorrow, they're going to have more victory. So they need to know what are their core values, their principles, and help them understand that they're going to use their principles to make decisions. You know, one of my favorite verses is Matthew 6.33 and I've used it a lot in making decisions over the years. I know that if I seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, he's going to take care of things. So discuss it with them and see how they can align their values with what they're trying to accomplish, because we do not want to build hypocrites. We do not want to build hypocrites. We do not want to build hypocrites. We want to help them be exactly who they're called to be Now. You know this has a biblical basis. If anything ever does.
Speaker 1:
In 2 Timothy 2, the apostle Paul told Timothy now, timothy, what you've heard me say in front of a lot of people, I want you to go find some other people that you can say it to, and I want you to find people that can tell others what you're saying. So I'm going to teach you to teach others. So it is one disciple teaching another disciple. It's life on life and affecting much of the future. Every pastor and every missionary listening. I really believe this may be the key, the most exciting thing you'll do in your ministry. I really do Now. I mean preaching and pastoring is wonderful, but as you mentor, you know I'm a great granddad now and can I tell you the greatest titles you can get? You're a granddad, you're a great granddad and you know that in my stage of life, I'm kind of moving off the stage and my sons and daughters are coming up on the stage they're in the middle of the stage actually and now their children are kind of getting on the edge of the stage and the grandchildren and you have the influence to pass on down to them. That's what mentoring is, that's what it's all about, and so I want to challenge you to take the time to continue working on training others and pastor. There are risks, and I'm going to discuss the risk of being a mentor later in another podcast, but I pray this will help you be excited about sharing what you know with others and helping them.
Speaker 1:
Thank you very much for listening to the World Evangelism Podcast. It is my heart's desire to add value to you and your ministry. I am here honestly, from my heart. I want to help you be all that God has called you to be. If I could say what I really want to do, I think it would be exactly what one of the comments was made when we read it earlier today A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you than you see in yourself and helps bring it out of you, bob Proctor?
Speaker 1:
Isn't that true? I want to do that for you. You don't even have to know my name or mention my name. You listen to this podcast and maybe I can help you be more of who you want to be and do more of what you want to do or, even better said, more of who Christ wants you to be and what he wants you to do. God bless you. Thank you for listening to the World Evangelism Podcast. I am so grateful to have your ear. Would you share it please? If this has been of value, share it with your friends, give it a like, put something about it in social media. Help me, help others, if you would. God bless all of you. Have a great day.