Followed By Mercy

Next Generation Leadership: Nurturing Through Mentorship

• W. Austin Gardner • Season 1 • Episode 12

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A mentor's commitment is like a foot race, where you teach your mentee, help them grow, and strive to stay ahead to guide them - it's a remarkable journey of learning and progress. #MentorshipCommitment #LifeLongLearning

Establishing a positive and trusting relationship is crucial. It's about building trust, effective communication, and actively listening to your mentee. #TrustBasedMentorship #EffectiveCommunication


Embrace the push to constantly grow and learn from your mentee, acknowledging that mentoring is a two-way street - a journey of mutual enlightenment and enrichment. #PersonalGrowth #MentorshipProgress

Mentorship is not about using your mentee to build yourself. Instead, it's about preparing them to surpass you - nurturing them to become the best they can be. #NurtureFutureLeaders #EmpowerOthers

Clarify your motivations for becoming a mentor and be willing to let your mentee go when they're ready to spread their wings and become all that they were meant to be. #MentorshipMotivation #LettingGo

Mentorship is not about achieving personal fame or building a big church. Instead, it's about how well your mentee learns to walk with Jesus, love their family, and contribute to their community. #PurposefulMentorship #ImpactfulLeaders

Learn how to handle it when your mentee doesn't take your advice - it's part of the mentorship journey and the process of letting go for them to find their own way. #AdviceandGrowth #LettingGo

Measure success by how well your mentee learns and grows rather than personal gain. It's about nurturing their spiritual and personal development. #SuccessInMentorship #NurturingFutureLeaders


The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman

The Training of the Twelve: How Jesus Christ Found and Taught the 12 Apostles; A Book of New Testament Biography



Mentoring is life on life, investing in others and helping them grow into leaders.

Availability is key. Determine how much time you're willing to invest in mentoring.

Building a positive and trusting relationship is vital for effective mentoring.

Actively listen and communicate with your mentee to ensure they understand what you're teaching

Recognize your limitations and be prepared to help your mentee seek a

Thanks for listening. Find us on YouTube, Substack, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

W. Austin Gardner:

Welcome back to the World Evangelism Podcast. This is Austin Gardner, the host of the World Evangelism Podcast, and I'm so excited to have you here with me for this special edition that we are offering today. You know, I started out last week with a podcast about mentoring, which I consider to be one of the most important ministries that any pastor, any missionary or even a businessman has your opportunity to affect other lives. Over the years, people have always asked me or said to me I want to know more about how to do what you do. I want to know how to mentor other people, how to do what you do. I want to know how to mentor other people, and I, you know I've taught lessons on it, but I've tried to break it down more into some more practical steps about how for you to begin mentoring other people and truly start developing future leaders. It's not that important that we are leaders, though it is important. I'm not trying to diminish that at all, but the key is to be a leader of leaders, someone who trains others, who trains others. It's the 2 Timothy, 2 and verse 2 teaching or training that we're following as we go about doing this. So I thought I'd start today with how to prepare to be a mentor. You know, like, if you're thinking about mentoring Now let me just say I think that most people don't understand the concept.

W. Austin Gardner:

It's not discipleship, because discipleship can be, honestly, basic lessons or newcomers classes, and lots of times we brag about having a discipleship ministry. Well, what we mean is new convert lessons, and they did that when I was a little boy 60 years ago. I took those classes and so we've developed it. Many churches have it set up where it's what you do with new believers. But then the question comes what do we do to take it on further and to help more people become leaders, that they can become pastors or missionaries themselves, or they can become leaders in your industry? How do we go beyond that? So I call this life on life. I've been calling it that for 40 years probably. So it is you investing your life. It's what Jesus did with other people.

W. Austin Gardner:

So I wanted to kind of go through about eight steps, if I can, today, about what I think you want to have as you prepare. What do you want to think about? So number one is what do you have to offer? What do you have to offer? Now, here we're not talking about. Can you teach me how to live a basic Christian life? Of course you can and you should. That ought to be a part of who you are and what you do. Can you teach the basic mechanics of how it works in your industry, in your business? Of course you can, but can you, will you, do you have what it takes to show me how to do everything you do and to do it better? Do you have in your ability? Do you have in your ability the ability to do it even more so?

W. Austin Gardner:

So a mentor needs to sit down and think I'm not doing this because I can teach them the basics. I'm doing this because I can teach them the most important parts and I can help them go on to do all the things that have to be done. So the first thing I want to say to you is sit down and think about what you have to offer and what you're willing to give, what you're willing to give, what you're willing to share, to give what you're willing to give, what you're willing to share. And you know you'll not ever. If you're a mentor, you're going to put yourself into a foot race, and that foot race is going to be as you train a person. They start getting better and better at what they do and as they get better and better at what they do, you got to stay ahead of them so you can help them. So it's a great thing for you. You teach them and then you run to stay ahead. You teach them and then you run to stay ahead and you just keep going and learning and you keep them going and learning, and that's the great idea Now.

W. Austin Gardner:

So step number one is what do you have to offer? Step number two is that you're going to need to understand the background of the person you're dealing with, the goals they have, the challenges that they have. You see, it's going to be an individualistic approach. Now you know, if their goal in life is to be a Sunday school teacher, you know that's not who I would specifically invest my life in. I think basic discipleship and church services and all of the other things that go on in a normal church setting will probably be enough.

W. Austin Gardner:

But this person I want to know what do you want to be? Where are you headed? What is your goal in life? Are you headed towards, with me, full-time ministry? Would you like to be a missionary? Do you want to learn a language? Do you want to raise your support? Do you want to know how to start a church? Do you want to know how to lead your home? I want to know all those basic questions about the person. I want to sit down with them and get to know them a little bit and find out, and so I'm going to spend my time investing in them in the areas that are extremely important to them, and that's what you want to bear in mind, what is extremely important to them. And so then you've got to decide well, do I have what they need and do I want to invest in what they need and what they want? Because you can't be the mentor for everybody. There are people that mentoring them would not be in your best interest, and so you would just say, no, that's not exactly what I want to do, not who I am.

W. Austin Gardner:

Third question See number one we want to make sure what we have to offer. Number two we want to understand the person that we're going to mentor. But, number three, we're going to have to determine the availability that we have and are willing to give. It's a fun study in the Bible and I will go through that as we go through these mentoring lessons. It's a fun study in the Bible to watch.

W. Austin Gardner:

When Jesus said he would be alone, he was alone with the 12. And when they were alone, he was alone with the twelve, and when they were alone, the twelve of them it's actually kind of a funny way of stating it, isn't it? When they were alone? And it's not your wife, not you and your children, it's you and the disciples you are sharing life with, that you are doing life-on-life discipleship with, and so you want to determine your availability. How much time are you willing to provide? How much? See, jesus lived with those fellows for three years. That was far superior to any Bible college education possible.

W. Austin Gardner:

You know, I always challenge young missionaries when they're going to the field and I say to them the most important thing you can do is find some people that you will personally invest in and personally mentor, because if starting a Bible college and I have a Bible college in Peru that I started, it's not mine anymore, obviously, and I had a Bible college I started in the States and I've left with other people. However, all I'm saying is Jesus could have started a Bible college. I believe in Bible colleges, but instead of that, jesus said no, I'm going to invest my entire life and my entire ministry in Jesus mentoring men. You should get a hold of Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman. You should get several different books and I will try to list a couple of three of them, maybe in the show notes that you can look at, because you need to understand Jesus didn't have a backup plan. If those 12 men failed, the entire ministry failed.

W. Austin Gardner:

So how available will you be Now? When you're a pastor, you can descend from the heavenlies and preach the message and ascend back up into the heavenlies. When you're a Sunday school teacher, you can do the same thing, and you can do the same thing when you're a college professor. But when they have the ability to walk into your room and walk into your office almost unannounced and you are available. So the kind of mentoring I'm talking about is something you're going to limit the number of people you're mentoring at one time and you're going to invest in them everything you possibly can. So it's a big time investment.

W. Austin Gardner:

You're going to have to decide am I really willing to do that? Am I willing to be that available? Because if you're not, maybe you don't want to do this and I know a lot of guys have said to me over the years man, I wish I could do what you're doing, but they're not willing to invest the time that it requires. You know, basically you're going to say, if I'm mentoring you, I'm not going to do anything alone. I make a hospital visit, you go. I make a marriage counseling, you go, if it's at all possible. I don't do things alone because I want you to learn. I take you to the deacon's meeting, I take you to the business meeting, I take you everywhere so you can learn. Okay, so let's go to question number four. Question number four is that you will work on a positive and trusting relationship. So that means you know you have got to gain their trust. You can't be a mentor without gaining their trust, and it means that you have to have effective communication.

W. Austin Gardner:

Now I'd like to stop just a second in the middle of discussing that and say that means actively listening. I think most of us are real good at declarative sentences, but we're not real good at asking questions. I had a friend who's in heaven now. A great friend came to visit me nine times in Peru. He was one of the best friends I've ever had in my life and he used to tell people ask questions, don't make statements. Ask questions, don't make statements. And so I would just say to you you need to listen. Let the mentee talk to you, let the person you're training talk to you. Find out what they're saying.

W. Austin Gardner:

Don't just be a one-way street. When you teach something, you need to stop and say now did you get that? What questions do you have? Let's discuss it. If you don't understand, let's talk about it. If you do understand, but you got questions, let's talk about them. If you don't believe me, let's talk about it. And as long as they've accepted that the Bible will be the only rule of faith and practice, then you're pretty good shape. But you're going to have to work at having a positive relationship. That just because they don't agree with you doesn't mean that you have rejected them or you're no longer willing to talk to them. That's not going to be the attitude that you take in things, and so I just want to say to you that you got to make up your mind about what you want to do and what you want to accomplish, and so build a positive and trusting relationship, and when you say something, ask them to repeat what you said or to explain what they've heard. So you got a back and forth dialogue. Let me say this Preaching is a kind of a one-way street, but mentoring is kind of a two-way street.

W. Austin Gardner:

I give, they respond, and the best way to study this is to watch how Jesus did. Go, look at what Jesus did. He would teach a whole class and then he would come back and say guys, you got any questions In Matthew 13,? He taught all that time and then when he gets back, the guys are like you know, we don't understand a thing you said. And he said well, let me explain it to you, let's go over it. And so Jesus did. So it is actively listening and it's communicating in a way that you find out that they heard what you're saying.

W. Austin Gardner:

Now another number five be open to learning from and understanding the perspective of the person you're discipling, training, mentoring. You know, the beautiful thing about mentoring is you will constantly grow. They will come at you with questions you've never heard or never had. They will come at you and decide things and say things and you'll have to look at it and say, well, you know, I need to look at that, I need to think about that, and they will push you against the wall. It's uncomfortable sometimes, but if you want to mentor people, you've got to be willing to listen to them and learn from them.

W. Austin Gardner:

I would say over all the years I've been doing this, I've learned as much from the guys I have worked with as I have been able to teach them, because they know stuff I don't know. They see things from a different perspective. When you're born in 1954, you're raised in the culture I was raised in you see things one way, but when you're born in 1995, or you're born in 2005 or later even, you have a whole different mindset, and so you're going to have to change a little bit of what you're thinking and saying, because you tend to have the attitude often well, they're just wrong. Well, they may be, but you need to listen and if you can't help them see where they're wrong, maybe you're wrong.

W. Austin Gardner:

Now, question number six that I have for you today is evaluate your readiness and willingness. So you've established that you have looked into them and decided that you have what it takes to teach them and you've understood a little bit about who they are, and you've decided that you'll be available and you're going to listen to them and you're learning from them. You decided I'll listen and I'll learn. I won't just be the purveyor of information. But now you've got to decide. Are you really ready? Are you ready for such a strong commitment and are you willing to do it? It can sound romantic.

W. Austin Gardner:

I used to walk into meetings and I'd come in with 10 or 12 guys with me and pastors would be impressed. They'd be like, wow, there's Gardner with his gang and you know that was always interesting to them. But are you really willing to go, even to the Preacher's Fellowship or wherever it is and you're not alone? Are you willing to share all your secrets about how you study the Bible? Are you willing to share your failties and your failures so that they can grow? You'll have to decide. Am I really willing to give so much? To be blunt, honest, it's a lot like raising children. And can you be honest and say that raising children has great challenges? Would you be willing to admit that? Would you be willing to say that, as a parent, I deal with a lot of junk raising kids? Of course you do. Now you may not deal with too much if they're six years old, but when they hit teenage years and other places, drama and excitement and all the junk that comes with it. But you know what You're committed to them. So make sure you are willing to do that and you're ready.

W. Austin Gardner:

Now, number seven you're going to need to recognize your limitations. You know John the Baptist took people as far as he could and then he took them to Jesus. And so what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to teach everything you know and everything you understand and you want to keep growing so you can teach them more every day. But then what you want to do is help them find other people that know more stuff about how to do things than you do. So you know they're going to keep you young and they're going to keep you challenged. But if you're honest, you're going to say you know, that's not my area of expertise, I can't help you as much there, but I have some friends and let me share my friends with you so they can help you.

W. Austin Gardner:

So recognize your limitations and then you're going to have to be emotionally and mentally prepared, because being a discipler, being a mentor, hurts, because they know too much. They know you well and if there's a, I heard a pastor say 30, 40 years ago if a man is not strong enough to hurt you. If he will, he is not strong enough to help you. And so you know, some of the people you train are going to be like Judas and they're going to turn on you. Paul had those that turned on him and attacked him and were detractors, and you're going to have that. So you've got to be emotionally prepared for it. It's not a bed of roses. You have to be willing to be there whenever they're hurting or whenever things are happening.

W. Austin Gardner:

So that leads you to some questions I want you to ask yourself so are you ready? What's your motivation for being a mentor? What is your motivation for being a mentor? Is it so you can look good? Then that won't work. Is it so you can build your church? Well, that won't really work. If they know they're being used, it won't take them long to figure out. I don't really want to be here and they're going to leave you anyway. So you need to find out. What are your motivations? What are? What's the reason you're considering being a mentor?

W. Austin Gardner:

So ask yourself now the truth of matter is, unless you're willing to make them a greater success than you I know leaders they're fearful and jealous. They don't want anybody to pass them up. They don't want anybody to do better than they do. But Jesus actually told the guys he was training y'all are going to do more than I've ever done. I'm going to take you further, and so check your motivations, then check your skill levels. You know, if you've only built a church to 50, then that's about the level of your skill. If you've only built a church to 50, then that's about the level of your skill. If you've only built a church to 200, if you've never started a church, if you've never helped others start a church, if you're struggling in your own family, so check your skill level and your expertise. Make sure what you have to offer the person is enough. Now let me just say this A guy pastoring a church of 50 could definitely be a mentor and take them as far as he could and then help them go to the next stage. But don't be jealous.

W. Austin Gardner:

John the Baptist said I must decrease, and that's what a mentor does. A mentor is what you do when you raise kids. If you ever notice that that's what a mentor does, a mentor is what you do when you raise kids. Have you ever noticed that? You know, betty and I have four children and 20 grandchildren and you know what I've had to decrease, because what ends up happening is your kids grow up and they move off and they don't need you and it actually hurts. It actually hurts. They call you when they want money and when they want a little bit of, maybe some expertise, because they're in trouble. But that's the normal way of life and I know some pastors and some mentors when they train a guy and then he wants to leave and go do his own thing, they're upset about that. Well, that's what I did with my parents and that's what you did with your parents and that's what our children did with us and that's what our grandchildren are going to do with our children. That's just life. So just make sure that you be willing to take what you know and take them as far as you can go and always be growing, always be growing, and then let them go. Let them go and let them become all that they were meant to become. So you know you want to question your motives and you want to look and see what skills you have and then you want to decide how much time do I actually have?

W. Austin Gardner:

We discussed that earlier availability. We discussed emotionally, being emotionally prepared, because it can just be a life-consuming thing. But I want you to know that mentoring, there were times that Jesus had to just say guys, I've got to get alone because he was human. Yes, he was God in human flesh, but he experienced everything as much as we do. And so how available are you willing to be? We've said it before, but it bears repeating how available are you willing to be? We've said it before, but it bears repeating how available are you willing to be? How accessible are you? What are the boundaries? I have literally had guys climb across the wall and get into my house. I've had guys walk in when I was sick, just walk straight into my bedroom, and they didn't even knock and it was embarrassing.

W. Austin Gardner:

But then that's the relationship you kind of open yourself up for. It just depends. You've got to set your own boundaries. You've got to decide how far you're willing to let people go. Then I want to know what are your expectations? What do you hope to achieve?

W. Austin Gardner:

Now, this is kind of a repeat, but I'm doing it on purpose. You see, if you're trying to build a bigger church, I don't think that's real mentoring. That's almost manipulation. I want to use you to build me, so I'll give to you, so you can give to me. So you're going to have to decide. You know, what do you want? Because when you mentor a guy, you mentor him so he can leave you, not help you. I need you to hear that you mentor him so he can leave you, not help you. He'll help you for a while, but he's on the way out.

W. Austin Gardner:

I raised two wonderful sons and two wonderful daughters and I'll give you a hint they are the most wonderful people in the world. I have no way to explain to you the love I feel for them, but let me tell you something. They were on their way out and they have become successful individuals on their own and they do what they believe is right and we just talk. Sometimes I don't even agree with them and I'm like come on, guys. And they look at me and they say come on, dad, and that's where you're headed with this. So what are your expectations? Well, I think you ought to be grateful to me. Well, he might be, but he might not express it. I know that's not what you want to hear.

W. Austin Gardner:

Now the next question is are you really willing to give honest and constructive feedback, because you know you can't just say good boy, attaboy, attaboy, attaboy. You're going to have to be willing to say this is what you're doing wrong. Now you've got to gain permission to do that. You've got to know they want you to do that. There's got to be some kind of agreement verbal or written where they know that you can say this is not the way you should have done that sermon, this is not the way you should have handled that situation. And so you have that possible way of sharing with them, giving them honest and constructive feedback, and drop all the negative, critical comments. That's not what you do. You don't do that with your kids. You don't do that with people you love.

W. Austin Gardner:

Now we've discussed being willing to learn from your mentee. That's all I'm going to say there. But are you? Because some of us, when we get a little bit older and I'm 69, we get a little older we're like I don't need to learn from anybody. Be careful. Then I want you to be prepared for it and ask yourself this question Are you ready to deal with possible conflict, potential conflicts and challenges? Because you're dealing with people. You know you're a dad and you're a mom and you're raising kids and you and I both know there's conflict and there's challenges and there's disagreements. Now we put on a pretty face at the church. You know, and they're your kids, so you don't quit on them. I hope you don't. I hope you don't.

W. Austin Gardner:

I did know a pastor one time and we were and I asked him how many children he had and he said three, and I later found out he had four, but he didn't want to even talk about the other one. That's not what you're going to do. If you're going to be a mentor, you're going to take them in as yours. So now you're going to have to ask yourself this question Can I deal with the personal biases? You see, when you're older you came up with a different culture and a different time, and so you have certain ideas. They may not even be biblical, they may be cultural, but you don't know they're cultural because you've never been in a talk with anybody that challenged you and you think they're in the Bible. But when you're forced to look for Bible verses, you may not find them. I don't know how many times I've told people as I trained them if it's not in the Bible, you call my hand on it, I need to change Whoa, if it's not in the Bible. You call my hand on it and I need to change. And that's a hard thing to say, because a lot of stuff that I have been taught all my life and preachers have taught me all my life and my parents and teachers have taught me all my life they're not necessarily in the Bible. So be willing to handle that, be willing to deal with that. So ask yourself that question and then ask yourself what you're going to do when confidentiality is betrayed, when they are in your life and they talk to you in private and then they take it all public. You've got to be willing to deal with that.

W. Austin Gardner:

Another question you ask yourself is how do you handle any power dynamics when you first start? You know, when you start with a missionary and he's never been on deputation, he's scared. He'll listen to anything you say. But once he's traveled for a couple of years, the pastors have told him he's God's gift to the human race. He doesn't listen very well. Then when he gets to language school, he drops right back down into the I need to learn stage. But then, as soon as he gets the language I don't need to learn anymore. How are you going to handle that? That's a major question. How are you going to handle that?

W. Austin Gardner:

Next question how are you going to measure the success? Only a few more questions and I'll be done. But how are you going to measure success? You see, your mentoring relationship is not going to be about your church growth or how much they love you or how much they thank you or how many gifts they get you, but how well they learn to walk with Jesus, love their wife and do a ministry. But you have to figure that out for yourself. You're going to figure out. How do I know if what I'm doing is worth it? That's just really going to be something you have to work on.

W. Austin Gardner:

Then you've got to ask the question am I willing to be patient? You know, when you start dealing with somebody from a different culture or somebody from a different background and you start trying to help them come along and do things in their life, they don't move as fast as you want, they don't change as much as you want. They get on your nerves and aggravate you. They have challenges and it's a growth, progress and a growth process, and so are you going to be patient enough? Then there's cultural differences, especially if you're a missionary, you have to learn that what's right in America is not necessarily right in another country. Simply because it's not a biblical truth, that doesn't mean that I'm telling you that America is wrong and they're right, or any of that. It just means this you know, when you go to South America and Argentina, men kiss, men on the cheek. You just lay your cheek together and that really freaks out Americans. But yet, if you were honest, jesus said, or the Bible says Paul said, greet each other with a holy kiss, probably very much similar to that, even more intimate than the Argentine kiss. And so you're going to have to decide that there are cultural differences, and I'll accept them. Americans tend to be more closed and we don't touch. But if you go to Latin America, there's going to be quite a bit of touching going on.

W. Austin Gardner:

And then here comes the biggie. Are you ready, boy? These are getting worse. Are you ready? How do you handle it when he doesn't take your advice? How do you handle it when he doesn't take your advice, when he goes in a different direction? Oh, my goodness, that's going to happen to you over and over and over, and you're going to feel threatened by it and you're not going to like it and you're going to wish it didn't happen that way and you're going to want to argue about it and you're going to fight about it and you're going to say good night, you don't appreciate me. You made an agreement with me. You're supposed to obey me. But if you've raised children with me, you're supposed to obey me.

W. Austin Gardner:

But if you've raised children, you know that things don't always work out exactly like you thought they would or wanted them to. You know that's true and I need you to understand that they have the right to go in a different direction. That doesn't mean that's what you want to do. It doesn't mean what you plan. But you can't get upset. You just got to back up and say you know what? I helped them grow to where they are so they could become who they are to do what they're going to do. And they're God's man, not my man. That's a very vital consideration. They're God's man and not my man. That's an important thing for you to consider and think about as you work on this. So what are you going to do when they don't take your advice? And I just want to tell you right now they won't take your advice.

W. Austin Gardner:

I once told a missionary many, many times I didn't believe in camps and children's homes unless you could put somebody else to running it, not you. And then he came to me and said I'm going to start a children's home and I said, okay, I'll be with you, I'll support you. He didn't do what I thought he ought to do, but that's okay. You know, he's not my man, he's God's man, and we all serve God. We're not serving you, don't serve me, you serve the Lord Jesus, and so I just want to ask you to think about that and put that into practice.

W. Austin Gardner:

And then the last question what about when are you willing to receive feedback? Because they'll say some ugly things to you and you just better be hoping they'll do it in private, but they'll come at you and they'll say some things that will hurt your feelings and they'll tell you you're not doing it right. You know your children may have done that to you at some time, sometime when they were angry and they told you something, and so are you willing to handle feedback? So I've tried today to go through what it takes, maybe to prepare to be a mentor and the questions you'd ask yourself if you're going to be mentoring. And I'm going to come back to you on another mentoring lesson in the near future and when I come back to you I think next week I'm going to talk to you about the fears you might have.

W. Austin Gardner:

I hope that this is helping you. I am really doing it to help you. I'm not trying to make money, not trying to get fame, trying to help others accomplish what I know God could use to enhance their longevity and their ministry. So if this is at all a blessing, would you please share it on social media? Would you give it a like? Would you give it a rating, a decent rating, if you feel like it's worth it? And I just want to thank you for listening to the World Evangelism Podcast. I am honored that you would take the time and I hope that you'll share it. I look forward to talking to you again soon. God bless every one of you. This is Austin Gardner from the World Evangelism Podcast.