Followed By Mercy

Chasing God, Not Performance: A Father-Son Chat About Identity

• W. Austin Gardner

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What if everything you believed about your spiritual worth was built on a misunderstanding? That inner critic telling you “you’re not enough” isn’t just mistaken, it’s denying the truth Christ has already spoken.

In this deeply personal episode of Followed by Mercy, Austin Gardner sits down with his son, David, a missionary who has spent twenty years in Peru, to discuss the surprising and relentless mercy of God. David shares powerful stories of God’s provision from unexpected vehicles to last-minute financial help during furlough, which have carried his family through every season.

At the heart of their conversation is the freeing message of Colossians: our identity isn’t something we earn by doing enough for God. It’s a gift we receive. The commands in Colossians 3 to “seek those things which are above” aren’t a weight or an obligation—they’re the natural response to understanding that we are already loved, already forgiven, already complete in Christ.

Are you tired of performance-based religion rules or the ache of feeling “not enough”? If so, you’ll find hope here. The Christian life isn’t about striving to win God’s favor; it’s about living each day in the security that God is already delighted in you. Join Austin and David for a conversation that’s honest, practical, and soaked in the goodness of God’s grace.

Connect with David on social media @PeruMinistry to learn more about his family’s work and how you can support their ministry in Peru.

Thanks for listening. Find us on YouTube, Substack, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.

Austin Gardner:

I'd like to welcome you to the podcast Followed by Mercy. This is your host, austin Gardner, and I am excited today to have with us David Gardner. Chris has been on here with me before, but David is here, and David's a missionary in Peru, and so we're going to talk a little bit about grace, and he'll have to have some grace because I just messed up. But anyway, david, why don't you tell them what you're doing, where you're located and so on?

David Gardner:

messed up, but anyway, david why don't you tell them what you're doing, where you're located and so on? Well, I am a missionary in Peru. I've been there. I've actually been a missionary for 20 years this June. I've been in Peru off and on since 2009. And, most recently, our last term that we did was from January of 2021 till March of 25. And we're back in the States on furlough, raising money to support our Bible college students, raising money for our Christian school that we're wanting to start, and just asking the Lord to provide for us. He's done a lot of that since we've been back. God seems to just open the doors and provide in very interesting ways, and so I'm looking forward to see what he does for the rest of the year.

Austin Gardner:

I'm always blessed, kind of like one of my things is surely goodness and mercy does follow us all the days of our lives, and so God's goodness and mercy have been chasing you down and taking care of you. You want to give a couple of blessings that the Lord just showed how goodness and mercy seem like. You've gotten some offerings and some things.

David Gardner:

Yeah, I think. So I don't think people understand how big of a deal it is to move, you know, your whole family back to another country, another community, you know, basically with zero stuff to your name or very little stuff to your name. And so you know, we sold one our car in Peru and I was looking for a vehicle. You never know what you're going to find or what price you're going to find. And the week that we got back my brother's neighbor was selling his car and basically he sold it to us for a much more reduced price than what he could have gotten, and so that was one. Then we needed another car to have two vehicles while I'm traveling and stuff needed another car to have, you know, two vehicles while I'm traveling and stuff. And uh, you know, just kind of holding off on it, cause I didn't really feel, you know, like maybe I don't know, I didn't feel like peace about it or didn't know what God was doing, and so we were just kind of holding off. And then, uh, a very close family friend and family member, uh, let us borrow their car. You know, we're just telling them that we're going to get a car in the next week or so and they just said why don't you just, uh, why don't you just borrow this one for the rest of the time that you're here? And so you know, basically, just uh, have gave us a second vehicle, very reliable, reliable vehicle, and I mean just, I mean stuff like that.

David Gardner:

You know, um, chloe has been wanting to start playing the cello and she has been just asking for one. Asking for one. They're expensive instruments and we've just been thinking how is the Lord going to do that? This past Sunday, somebody just walked up and put cash in my wife, katie's hand and just said and put cash in Katie's hand, my wife Katie's hand, and you know, just said we want to help, you know, be a part of this. It was enough to cover a beginner's cello. So I mean, it was just crazy stuff like that, that just God continues to provide. And so it's just been very strange, because for some reason I'm not very nervous on whether or not God's going to provide for us or take care of us.

Austin Gardner:

It's just kind of we're just kind of expecting to see what happens. I love Psalm 23 so much and that's what I've been talking about. And the Lord's your shepherd. You shall not want. Yeah, and other than that, you are being followed, pursued by goodness and mercy, all the days of your life. Yeah, now David is very—Lord has really given him some scriptural, biblical insight and I've been thrilled to watch as he has spent a long time preaching the book of Colossians and he has spent a lot of time in our identity.

Austin Gardner:

And you're listening to this program because in your heart right now, you really need to realize who you are. You've been listening to the world too much. You've been listening to that inner critic, that devil voice in you that says you're not worthy, that tells you that you don't belong, that tells you you don't measure up. You've been listening to the voice of performance-based religion. And so today I just want to chew the fat with David for a few minutes and let you in on the conversation of a father and son, a grown son, a very strong missionary doing a great work. But I love just hearing how God's taught him. And so, david, maybe first you could address what they're feeling, as you know, because people feel like I'm not enough. Is that, what have you run into?

David Gardner:

Yeah, I mean, I've run into that with me and I think that that's the constant struggle is not measuring up, or not enough, or who am I, you know? I think that Maybe God's a little angry.

Austin Gardner:

Well, yeah, I'm not enough. Maybe not angry, not pleased with you.

David Gardner:

Yeah, not pleased, disappointed I'm not enough. Maybe not angry, not pleased with you? Yeah, not pleased, disappointed I'm not doing enough. I think that on one hand you've got insecurity because you don't know if you're enough, you don't know who you are. On the other side, you've got pride because you think you're too much. And so I think our identity in Christ kind of boils everything down. It makes us humble in one sense, but it also makes us confident and secure. And so one of the problems with Colossians a lot of times is that the first two chapters there's not really any commandments or anything like that. There's warnings. In fact, there's not a lot of good preaching.

David Gardner:

There's not, yeah, quote unquote Because preachers need that.

Austin Gardner:

You need to.

David Gardner:

Yeah. And so if you were to start in chapter 3, it says If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. And so it seems almost like a requirement, a push, man you ought to be seeking, you ought to be doing that's the problem is that you don't seek things which are above, and that's your problem is that. So all of chapter 3, it's actually very confrontational with who you are, but the basis of that is based off of if. But the basis of that is based off of if. That if summarizes all of chapters 1 and 2.

David Gardner:

And so I've actually preached this at a youth conference, and when you're preaching this at a youth conference, you're looking at young people, and I didn't get to chapter 3 until probably the last night or the night before last. And really, when you go to chapter 1, chapter 1 says that you have been redeemed. It says that you've been forgiven. It says that you have been translated from the kingdom of darkness, or the power of darkness, to the kingdom of his dear son. It says that you have. You have had the transgressions that were against you blotted out, they've been nailed to the cross, that you are a holy, spotless, blameless before the Lord. I mean we could just go over it.

Austin Gardner:

You're complete in him and you know, and actually in in that I mean we could just go over You're complete in him and actually I love that. Basically he gives the picture of him bringing back all of the devil and all of his attacks and everything against you and he has defeated it all and he made a show of it. It's like the Roman bringing in their captives. He said none of this junk is going to hurt you.

David Gardner:

Yeah, it's the triumphal entry, and it's that Jesus walks in, showing off his victory over sin and death, and that's the key.

Austin Gardner:

By the way, Everybody listen, You've been focusing on your victory and David, you just said his victory.

David Gardner:

Yeah, but it's his victory and he's walking in in that triumphal entry with us as his trophies, like look at the battles I won, look at the wars I won, look at the people I freed.

Austin Gardner:

So the person listening right now, who's beat up? What do they need to do right now?

David Gardner:

What do they need to do right now? I mean, if we summarize back to Colossians 3.1, it's just seek Him, right. And so you're seeking Him, which means seeking the kingdom, seeking Him, seeking to know Him, seeking to love Him. Philippians 3.10 is my life verse, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, the fellowship of His suffering being made conformable unto His death. And so I think that's really the seeking after. And so even Paul in Philippians 3 says that I am trying to grab a hold of that which has grabbed a hold of me, and so he's reaching for the knowledge of the excellency of the knowledge of Christ. He's seeking for knowing him and seeking his kingdom. And so, really, when you're based off of something like Colossians 3.1, it's not necessarily like a requirement. It's so if this is the person you are, this is how the person you are lives, and so it's based on who I am, it's based on the fact that I'm forgiven.

Austin Gardner:

I think, yeah, what I like about Galatians 3, 1, starting with if it's like, if one and two are true, yeah, exactly If one and two are true, then you want to seek.

David Gardner:

Yeah, if you've been raised, if you've been, you know, baptized in his death and you've been raised to walk in newness of life, if you've been, you know, circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, if you are wholly spotless, blameless, if you are forgiven, redeemed, you know, if you're in him, you know all of these things. If you're complete, then this is who you are, this is what you do, and so you live according to your identity. You don't get your identity according to how you live, and so you seek after, because that's who you are.

Austin Gardner:

I think I want you listening to understand. Don't take this like a command like you've got to go seek. Take it more like a natural thing that just pops out of you. It's honestly like telling that new bride Go seek your husband.

David Gardner:

Well, verse 3 kind of clarifies it right, if you can clear that up so I can see it. But it says For you are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God. Verse 4, when Christ, who is our life. And so that's really, I mean the whole motive is in the passage. Why do you seek those things which are above? Well, because Jesus is there where Christ sitteth, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Verse two, you know it says set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. Why? Well, because because Jesus is there. Why, you know why is? Why are you seeking things which are above? Because you're dead to this world.

David Gardner:

In Galatians, paul says I am crucified to the world in Christ. I'm crucified to the world and the world's crucified to me. So there's no reason to look for things on the earth. Why am I seeking those things which are above? Because Jesus is there and Jesus is my life. My life's hidden in Him, my life belongs to Him, my life is secure in Him. This is who I am. And then it starts going on. All of chapter three is super practical and it's very in your face, but it makes sense Once you realize what your identity is. The rest makes sense.

Austin Gardner:

In Psalm 23,. The Lord is my shepherd. And so in this, in Colossians 3, 1, what you're doing is saying I now realize what's true, because salvation's a God thing. Not at all based on you, not at all based on what you do. It's based on what God does. And when that sheep realizes, hey, I belong to my shepherd, I'm in his pasture, he's feeding me, he's giving me water, he's checking on me every day, he's anointing me with oil, he is taking good care of me, then your heart yearns to seek after him. You want to do it? Yeah, you set your affection, but it's honestly like telling that new bride you need to love your husband. Well, she's going to respond well, that's why I married him, and so it's a natural thing I want you guys, if you're listening and you're discouraged and you're beat up and you feel like you don't measure up, when you realize who God made you, it'll change your whole attitude.

David Gardner:

Yeah, Maybe you can put chapter 2 and verse 6 on the screen, but you know, that's more of a understanding of how you know. You said at the beginning so what's somebody supposed to do now? But Colossians 2, 6 says as ye have therefore received Christ Jesus, the Lord, so walk ye in Him, walk ye in Him. So how did you receive the Lord? You know how did I receive the Lord? How I received Him? By grace, you know I received Him through faith.

David Gardner:

Verse 7 says rooted and built up in Him. So where am I rooted? I'm rooted in Him. How do I build up my life In Him? How do I establish myself in the faith In Him, abounding in thanksgiving. And so the life of a Christian is not necessarily the life of duty, it's a life of thanksgiving, it's a life of, you know, walking in Him by grace, through faith. And that's the way I received Him and that's the way I got to walk through Him. I think, sadly, one of the biggest problems that we have in Christianity is okay, well, I was saved by grace, but now I've got a whole lot to do to make him happy, and he's already pleased with us.

Austin Gardner:

Yeah, the beautiful thing about him is he knew who you were when he saved you Romans 5.8,. You were still sinning, romans 5.8, yet sinning Romans 5.6, you were ungodly and you were weak, you couldn't save yourself and he saved you. So when you get a hold of that, you need to understand there's nothing you can do to make him love you more, nothing you can do to make him love you less. Rejoice in who you are in Christ. And so, david, our time's kind of up today, but go ahead and add a few things that you'd like to say in here.

David Gardner:

No, I had a group of interns in Peru and they were going to be down there for a month and I actually took maybe a week out of that month and I went through Colossians with them and I just taught verse by verse, and by the time we got done, at chapter two, I said so how do you respond to all of this? How do you respond to all of the things that you are in Christ? And everybody was just quiet. And Cohen, one of the young men that was there, he just said rejoice, he goes, just rejoice. And I think that's man. When you realize all that he's done for you, when you realize how good he is, when you realize what he's made you, you know I belong to him. He's made me and he's created me and he's made me a new creature, man. All I've got to do is just rejoice, rejoice in that. And once I realize that, well then, man, if I love him that much and he loves me that much, then I want to seek him.

Austin Gardner:

Like telling that newlywed wife you know you change your last name, quit using the old last name, chase, after them. Yeah, and so it's a whole different world. Well, I want to thank you for listening today. I want to thank David for being here. I'm very much respect and honored that. I had a small part in raising him. His mama did most of the work. But maybe, before we get off, here.

David Gardner:

you could tell them how they could get in touch with you. Yeah, so if you want to look us up on Facebook or Instagram, it's Peru Ministry P-E-R-U Ministry. If you want to look me up on any of my handles as Gardner in Peru and you can be praying for us while we're here in the States and on furlough. Be praying for my family. Pray for me, because my daughter just got her learner's permit today.

Austin Gardner:

I was just going to bring that up. We are, uh, they just. She drove over here, right, uh yeah.

David Gardner:

Well tell them a little bit about that, Well yeah, uh, my, I'm praying a lot and uh, she turned 15 yesterday, right, uh, sunday, sunday, tuesday, tuesday, yep, two days ago, today's Tuesday yep, okay, well, so they can look you up on Facebook or Instagram anywhere else yeah, if you want to email me GardnerInPeru at gmailcom, and if there's anything I can do for you, I'd love to pray for you.

Austin Gardner:

be an encouragement and I would like to encourage you individual or church to get in touch with him and have them in to preach and teach or just take them on for support. If you're an individual, I mean they need help. They need, honestly, all the ministry, the great responsibility he has. I want to thank you for being with us on Followed by Mercy, and I'm going to have David in as many times as I can while he's here on furlough, and so I really believe he'll be a blessing to you. Thank you very much and God bless each and.

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