Embracing Your Soul Song with Zia Sparkleheart

In this powerful and deeply resonant conversation, Jenee is joined by soul sister, medicine woman, shamanic facilitator and soul integration practitioner Zia Sparkleheart. Together they unpack the concept of innercension — the inward path to the heart — and explore the embodied truth of spiritual awakening outside the traditional “ascension” paradigm.

Zia speaks candidly about her experience bridging shamanic practices and Kriya energy work, holding true to the wild soul’s unique expression, and navigating the spiritual path without spiritual performance.

This episode is an invocation for radical self-inclusion, reclaiming your soul song, and honoring your energetic rhythm — no matter how unconventional it looks. It closes with a gentle guided heart-centered meditation to reconnect you with your essence.

If you've ever felt burned out by your spiritual practice, unsure of your voice, or ready to move from the "ladder of healing" into genuine soul freedom, this one's for you.

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CREDITS:
Introduction script:  Jessica Tardy
Introduction mix and master:  Ed Arnold
Theme Song: "Heart Light" by Jenee Halstead and Dave Brophy

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Heartlight Sessions
• 1:19 Meet Zia Sparkleheart
• 4:07 Innercension vs Ascension
• 10:54 Kundalini Awakening and Spiritual Practice
• 18:18 Following Your Soul Song
• 30:19 Healing the Collective Wound
• 39:13 Spiritual Practice Without Burnout
• 42:18 Guided Meditation for Heart Connection
• 53:34 Love Is the Answer

Transcript

Jenee: 0:06

Welcome to the Heartlight Sessions, a podcast about light working your way through dark times. I'm Janae Halstead. I'm a singer-songwriter, holistic vocal coach, intuitive guide and plant medicine facilitator. I'm also a survivor of childhood abuse, autoimmune issues and my 30s. I'm also a survivor of childhood abuse, autoimmune issues and my 30s. I'm on a lifelong healing journey and along the way, I want to share the ideas and teachings that rock my world. Every week on Heartlight Sessions, I call in artists, healers and thinkers to explore what's helped them live and thrive from a heart-centered place, because the heart, it's where the best things happen. If you've ever wondered how to unlock your biggest breakthroughs or how to come back from that stuff that tried to kill you, you know the stuff I'm talking about, the stuff that's supposed to make you stronger. Or if you've ever wondered how to just do you straight from the heart, you're in the right place. So join me, won't you? Let's turn on that heart light. Hello.

Zia: 1:19

Hello.

Jenee: 1:22

I'm very, very excited for today's guest. This is like having a rare butterfly come out of the forest. It took me, it took me quite quite some time to uh to get Zaya Sparkleheart today on on the podcast, but I promise you like you going to want to hang on every single word, because this woman is so beyond brilliant and heart-centered and she's a dear, dear, dear friend, teacher, mentor. We work in medicine space together. She's a soul integration practitioner, a medicine woman, a shamanic practitioner. There's so many other things that I could say, but we'll start from there, hi.

Zia: 2:15

Thank you for having me on your podcast. I'm so happy to be here and I can say all of those things about you and how brilliant you are and your gifts are just like wow, and so I'm just grateful for your sister and thank you.

Jenee: 2:39

I'm so grateful too. I really feel your friendship's been one that's really taught me a deep reciprocity in sisterhood that like I have not experienced very often in my life and I think both of us have really healed a lot of like the sister wound in this relationship and really witnessing each other, holding space for each other, witnessing each other's magic and brilliance and like there's no competition, it's just being brilliant.

Jenee: 3:12

Exactly, exactly. I'm so grateful I was meditating on the paragraph that you had emailed me of what you'd just been thinking about lately, what was up for you and this kind of flow of consciousness transmission, and one of the things that was kind of the big theme was interception, intercension versus ascension, and so it's this idea of dropping in, not going up and out, and I was wondering if you could speak to that and what that means to you and why that feels so vital right now.

Zia: 3:55

Yeah, absolutely For me. I was kind of running what I thought were two different pathways.

Zia: 4:06

What I thought were two different pathways, but they're really just a combinatory pathway to the heart. I was, and I am still, working with deep shamanic practice. I do a lot of journey with the drum, and that's probably my primary form of journey. Work is using the drum or to Kappa or rattle, and I journey myself into a trance state and go into the lower world. So the pathway, physiologically then, is I am moving downward in my spine. I'm doing the exact opposite of what kundalini and kriya does. I'm moving down right, and so that was the root and that that formed even before I had any Kriya training or practices, and so I was moving down, down, down, down down and going into the lower world and into the realms in that way.

Zia: 4:56

And then I intersected with Kriya yoga as a practice and I was dancing with them both you know I was doing Kriya practices, I had a guide that was teaching me Tantra internally for the last decade of my life, teaching me how to draw energy from my tailbone to my crown and shower that energy into my field.

Zia: 5:19

And all kinds of practices that were related to that. That energy taught me, and it could be my higher self, it could be a, you know, an ascended master. I'm not really sure. I didn't never had a name for that. It was just this inner deep wisdom and a voice that really was like do this, this, this, you know? And both of those pathways created a convergence in my heart chakra, and really that is the heart chakra. The heart chakra is a merkaba. It's the masculine and the feminine in its symbols combined, and so it's like the masculine pathway of ascending, the feminine pathway of descending, and then that combination of those two pathways created this like opening in my heart. Wow, and, and then it made me really be like interested and curious about like well, what's the destination? Right, you know?

Zia: 6:20

people talk to the Leany awakening and they talk about, you know, there's all these philosophies and, and you can kind of get stuck following a pathway. You know you follow a pathway and you're like, yeah, but something's, there's more to be had here, and I don't feel like I'm receiving that. And so for me it was like, you know, I've always been able to stay loyal to here and be like, well, that's just a pathway, I'm just going to borrow what works, I'm just going to leave what doesn't work. And that became this just opening into my heart. And that's what made me feel like it's an inner ascension rather than an ascension. Right, if we go up, it's only so that we can gather what we receive from the divine masculine to bring it into the heart. If we go down, it's only to receive from the divine feminine what we need and bring it into the heart. And the merging of the two is really what we're after. We're not trying to do classically only one or the other.

Jenee: 7:31

That's where I'm at, it's so beautiful. I think that clarifies a lot for people. You know, and that's really for me, the opening and the becoming has really been through this blossoming of my heart. And this is the age we're really moving into with the Aquarian, you know, the Aquarian age. We're moving down from this mental, predominantly mental, space into living from the heart and that's, you know what's the saying, the longest journey is from the head to the heart and it's really so much about coming into the body as a temple and feeling, because what is the heart? It's the ultimate feeler.

Jenee: 8:19

So, creating that sensitivity or starting to have, you know, emotional literacy and starting to be able to feel things, you know, that can be really, that can be really difficult for people as they're starting to wake up. It can create a lot of pain, you know. I know for me, when I really made this decision to like unarmor my heart, that was kind of my first step is is I had this awareness that, like, my heart was deeply, deeply armored. So I went through a process of de-armoring but I did it kind of too quickly. I was working on myself, I was just like I'm just gonna, you know, take this off, and then I really paid the price, like I went through probably a year of severe sort of anxiety and like deep heart pain, and so I'm wondering if you have any suggestions for kind of that.

Zia: 9:14

First of all, I resonate and I imagine a lot of listeners probably resonate with that resonate with that going too hard and having the opposite side of what you were hoping to get and and I feel like there's a part of me that feels like maybe that's all just a part of it too, right?

Zia: 9:36

Yes, you know I had my Kundalini awakening and then I had a similar experience of about a year and, honestly, in the deeper studies that I've looked into, you know, in like the Chinese theory of this, like the golden flower teachings and the Kabbalah teachings, and you know, every great philosophy has some sort of pathway of how do I want to say it?

Zia: 10:02

The Christed child or child within you, right Like the birth of your Christ and and just like a human, has a gestation period. I now have a belief that we have a gestation period, that soul birth that is. I'm going to say it's about a year long, that is I'm going to say it's about a year long In that year I really feel like well, we can't really do anything besides be with it.

Zia: 10:33

And that was my experience of having a kundalini awakening, which was really the implanting of the seed into the egg of my soul child. And then it was like labor. It was late, you know, and I had to stay faithful to my practices to save my life. Quite literally, that's how it really felt to me and, honestly, my health in that case kind of declined. There was actually some health issues that came up.

Zia: 11:15

And it made me really see that we need to be careful with our work. Yeah, to do this great work. That's in hermetic terms, that's what it's called the great work, and it will take everything that we have in order to meet that. So my thoughts to people who are working their own inner ascension and maybe they're on the ascension pathway and they're moving upward right now. Or maybe they're on their descension pathway and they're moving downward right now.

Zia: 11:46

Descension pathway and they're moving downward right now that no matter what polarity they're in that both of those are good, that no one can tell you that you are off or you're wrong or you don't have it right. And and I want to encourage people to listen to the call of their soul, right like their soul knows the way we are all supposed to have our kundalini expressed, not just for the guru on the mountain yes there's no fucking gatekeeping for these magical secrets.

Zia: 12:19

Right, they are for us all. So if you go to someone and they're like only the rare every once in 500 billion years, yeah you know. And if they prove all of these signs, you know, I'm like, no, it's not like that for everyone and I I believe that we all incarnated now and that everyone who's living here now is a master of sorts.

Jenee: 12:52

Absolutely.

Zia: 12:54

Even if they are sitting on their couch playing video games and they don't remember, it still is in there, and so, for me, I am more like. What do you call it? Like open sourcing? It's like let's open source your awakening, don't be afraid to step in. It's not for someone else, it's for you. Yeah. You know, yeah, absolutely.

Jenee: 13:24

I, um, I'm kind of looking over some more of this pair, this paragraph that you sent and I loved this, this it's kind of part of what you're talking about with like radical inclusion, and you wrote genuine spiritual practice always brings you back to your own soul song, so I I'd love to tie this in a little bit to like kundalini awakening and you know creating a spiritual practice and how important that is. So I'm curious for for you, how has your soul song been teaching you lately?

Zia: 14:02

I mean in deep, authentic relating it has been teaching me about where I am being untrue to myself right, when I'm being untrue to my soul song and, in this moment, the questions that my soul is posing to me, my great guru that lives inside of my heart. Would I be willing to risk everything to be myself right? Would I be willing to give up what you think of me and what they think of me, and what others believe that I am or what I believe I am, in order to arrive at the truest truth of what I actually am?

Zia: 14:53

And am I willing to do that on repeat? Am I willing to just kind of let it all go right? That's a me that you met once and I was really that in that time I was fully that and I'm evolving and that is fading away like an old leaf and now there's a new me that's coming forward. And can I be brave enough to step fully into that new me and and and let the leaf fall, you know, let it fall from the tree and open into the newest self that wants to come forward. And that has been, like you know, terrifying, because there's selves that I have come into, that I'm like, really attached to a version.

Zia: 15:44

But if this construct goes well, then what you know and and I and I'm not really talking about like ego, anything, you know, I'm not really a fan of that term, cause I think it gets like I'm just talking about, like the way that we are, and when I listen quietly to my soul and I shut everything else out, she has a path that she leads me on that isn't anything that I could possibly conceive of, and it's like a wild, it's like following a butterfly. I don't know where she's going to go next. She's doing something and it there's a consciousness to it, there's a reason and, if I can just let go a little, there's more, you know, and there will always be more.

Jenee: 16:33

What are some of the things?

Zia: 16:34

lately she's been teaching you or showing you Anything you can put words to or you can put words to or she's just really asking me to step forward into my medicine, and she's really been teaching me about not forming myself to the shape of another, because it's maybe what the pressures of society expects of someone who is a medicine woman yeah and I feel like she's constantly bringing me back to my wild and my natural expression, if no one was around and there were no eyes to reflect into me anything, and I was just able to open all the way into my most natural expression.

Zia: 17:40

That's what she's trying to get me to do in front of others and that is really, really challenging for me. It's like I can do that when I'm at home and I'm in my apartment and, you know, all of my shamanic power objects are around me and the energy that I've created in my home is so beautiful and um, and I can stay really, really attuned to her and that energy vibration and I can, I can be there. And then the dance is, you know, going into places and spaces where there are others. Yeah.

Zia: 18:19

And, and then you have all of these vibrations and all of these opinions that I can feel in the fields of others, beliefs that come to me through the fields of others. They don't have to say anything, he's in their fields, it's their, it's their truths. If you will come at me and then it, you know, I feel this like subtle, like pulling from my center right, like pulling my center, and I'm like, well, that path looks really curious, you know. Well, maybe I'll follow that path a little bit, you know, or maybe I'll follow that path a little bit, and then, oh, that one looks exciting, you know. Oh, I should do that. That person's doing that and that looks really cool, you know, and I've been having her be like, okay, but what about this path, you know, are you walking your own? Can you listen to your own? Can you move in time with your own song? You know it's. It reminds me of like have you ever sung in a choir with, like, multiple part harmonies? Yes, yeah.

Jenee: 19:28

Yeah, most of my life.

Zia: 19:30

When you're in that setting. If you're not careful, if you start to listen to anyone else, you'll lose the harmony that you bring. Yeah.

Zia: 19:42

And then you're like. And then you have to literally say I used to, maybe you didn't. I would have to like, close my ears Sometimes I would have to leave the space to remember my harmony, to come back into the circle and be like, okay, I'm here, I've got it, you know, I'm with it. It reminds me of that Like. Can you hold the, the song that you're you're singing, and trust that your song is actually a part of this huge symphony that's happening and we need each song to stay the way that it is.

Jenee: 20:16

Yeah, it's really interesting because when you awaken and then you find like your tribe, and then even in your tribe you start to differentiate and become more, you know, in your own luminosity and your own spiritual leadership. And I remember when I was in college choir we would, we would always like start in our, in our spaces, like alto and soprano, and then mid like midway through the season the conductor would have us mix. So everybody, you'd be standing next to a baritone and an alto and you're like crap, you know, and it's very much like this. This is like this is the individuation process that continues and continues and continues to happen.

Jenee: 21:06

And it's hard because then your tribe sort of gets smaller and smaller and smaller and you're like where do I feel resonance and where do I, you know, where can I step more and more into my alignment and not get thrown off? And not get thrown off. And also this does have a lot to do also with spiritual leadership, you know, and just really staying true to your own soul vibration, you know, and that can make you have to make decisions in a moment that you know you're like this doesn't feel good for me, this doesn't feel aligned for me, and then you know it's not your business what anyone thinks of you and that's a very it's kind of what you're speaking to and that's like a very hard practice and you have to continually, continually. It's almost like not even your business what you think of you. It truly, truly you know it's like what.

Zia: 22:03

What you think of you. It truly, truly, you know it's like what. What others think of us is a fictitious individual that they have created. That is more, really, a projection of their own mind. Exactly, it's a projection of their own inner teacher. It's a projection of their shadow, all mixed together and and it's a projection of their, their higher selves. Sometimes people can't own their own higher self and they'll put that on you and they'll worship you because they're like, you know, you're so dated out of that and it's like sorry, I see, you know, yeah, you must be. You know the goddess incarnate, and I'm like and what in you needs you to own that in you, the goddess incarnate, you?

Zia: 22:59

know, like that and you know so. It's like less about, it's less about you anyway. Right.

Zia: 23:10

And I feel like that has been a harder one for me to release. You know, the opinion of others and and the subtle asks that I was asking my soul to chain so that I could belong, and really what I've been dancing with is the sense of belonging comes from myself to myself. Yes, when I make room for my soul and I say you are whole and perfect, no matter your shape, no matter your color and I'm not talking about body here, I'm talking about authentic body, soul, vibration and shape. Right Like I would never say to a squirrel what's wrong with you? How come you're not like a hummingbird? Yeah.

Zia: 24:10

Right, we would be like this is a squirrel, it's perfectly shaped, it's doing perfectly squirrel things, it's a squirrel, right. And then we have a hummingbird and we're like they're perfectly hummingbird shaped and they do perfectly hummingbird things, and we're not trying to get them to be the other. But when it comes to humans, we don't realize that we are so different. We are almost like different species from one to another. You know, like the idea of like a snowflake. You know a snowflake.

Zia: 24:44

Every snowflake is a different shape, and this is how far we are completely incomparable, even though our suits look somewhat yeah, but what's happening on the inside is like no, that is, it's like you might be from another star galaxy. You know a whole different soul dialect that is completely unique to the person that's next to you. And I feel really like what would it be like to stay true to my soul song and be able to do that in front of and with anyone you know? And this makes me think of Christ and it makes me think of Kuan Yin, and it makes me think of Ram Dass, and it makes me think of Yogananda and it makes me think of people who were able to hold their vibration and their channel so powerfully that they were able to move in and out of the world in all of these places and spaces and stay true to that. Yes.

Zia: 25:59

And we're still talking about the legacies of that. And we're still talking about the legacies of that and I don't know if those people came about that and the legacy came first, or whether they were chasing legacy. I don't know. I have a story that they weren't chasing legacy. They were chasing ascension. Yeah.

Zia: 26:20

And legacy came forward. Word, but I like you know like to leave a legacy for the next generation. You know what is it like to leave like toe holds and foot grabs and hand grabs up the mountain or carve a pathway that's smoother up the mountain for the next generation, for their spiritual development, and that feels really important to me to help them come up.

Zia: 26:49

You know, you know, I'm working with my daughter right now and to help them grow and help them evolve. And where are you developmentally? Not not to try to be where I am. Where are you and who are you? What is your soul want? Yeah, and how can I help your soul do what it wants in this life?

Jenee: 27:13

Absolutely, and I feel like some of that, a lot of that, you know, legacy creation or the. You know the, the goddesses and the gods that you know, that left a mark, an imprint that becomes an archetypal key on this planet. A lot of that was through immense suffering Look at Kuan Yin, and that was the broken vessel. And then through the deep, deep, deep, deep self-compassion she created, basically for herself, after being wounded to her core, she creates so much compassion and love that it overfills her vessel and pours out into the world. You know, and this is the deep, deep alchemy you know, and there are others that that maybe have gone before us, that have, I don't want to say, varying degrees of suffering, but they've suffered, and at a level that's so, you know, tremendous, that they can hold that for others, you know. So, in a lot of ways it lightens the load for for future generations, you know, and their medicine is, is accessible to you through all space and time.

Zia: 28:33

All space and time you know, and it doesn't require that you take a class and I and I really want people to hear this it doesn't require that you have training. It doesn't require that you take a class. It doesn't require that you know deep philosophical or you know magic teachings or that you understand, you know the emerald tablets or the ad nauseum information that is out there. What we know is that so many of us and there's only one of us so many of us have been working this working and all of that wisdom goes into a great working that we've been working together and it's accessible to us all. It's the true cloud right. It is the thing that we are all taking, and we're taking these bits of our workings, and any one of us can access that it's your divine right and receive all of that wisdom from all of the ascended masters and their teachings just by opening your heart to it. Yeah.

Zia: 29:42

And you can have a guide. Come and they can teach you right, and so it's like the most open sourced teaching that can be. All it requires is dedication and a willing heart and consistency to the practice of whatever is alive for you. Yeah, consistency to the practice of whatever is alive for you, whether that's just sitting in meditation, or whether that's chanting or whatever lights you up, moving your body. You know, do it. However, I'm always like the weirder the better you know like, don't judge that I'm.

Zia: 30:19

If your way of talking to God is this, do it all day long, right? Who am I to say? You know, and and I really encourage people and my students to push past and beyond the limits of the structure that you've been working with to discover the you that really wants to be to discover the you that really wants to be.

Jenee: 30:48

Yeah, yeah, you mentioned in the paragraph that you wrote to me that you know spirituality like becomes, sometimes becomes the new ladder or the new thing to attain, and you've noticed that the different ways that we perform in spiritual identity and I'm just curious like this is very much what you're talking about and just like how, how we can kind of unhook from that it, because for me it's just, it's more of like spiritual materialism and also that you can stay on that wheel and like never get off and think I'm never healed and I'm broken.

Jenee: 31:29

You can easily get like into this little bit of a hamster wheel about that. You know, I know for me like like 15, 20 years of you know I don't regret any of it and like very grateful for all of it, but at one point I was like okay of it and like very grateful for all of it, but at one point I was like okay and I was also dancing around my core, my core wounding, which is so interesting because I feel like everything that's happening on the planet right now with you know all of that, the astrological bodies coming together and the and the sun, and all all the codes that are coming in. It's really forcing people into the core wound, but but in a way that doesn't feel as it feels very supported. So before I very much was dancing around that and just was like, hmm, I can't touch this for whatever reason, you know. And now it's like, okay, I'm diving in, but it feels like there's this undercurrent of just deep support and love coming from the cosmos which is very interesting and from Gaia, from Mama.

Zia: 32:31

What's coming to my mind as you share that, and I'll then share a little bit more about the question you asked. In 2019, I started to have some really wild phenomenon. That was like. I'm still amazed. You know, I had opened an altar in my home for the first time. I had always had some sort of sacred space, but I had a formal place for my altar and at the time it was facing West, which I think maybe is interesting to note. But I opened my altar and I was experiencing. I kept calling it like spirit grand central station. It would be like all of these like deities kept coming through there. I would watch them.

Zia: 33:17

They would flash through my altar and they'd be, like, you know, Artemis and Sekhmet, and it was a lot of like the Valkyrie and Thor and Odin, and you know it was like big, like energies, and I'm like I don't know what is happening. I closed the altar, you know, like is this? What am I doing specifically?

Zia: 33:42

Obviously, I was supposed to hold that gate, you know, altar was tiny and I didn't really know what the hell I'm doing. I just did it from my heart and in that space I remember going into a meditation period and at that altar and my, my guides and the energy showed me the collective wound and it was like this, like gash. It was like a gash that went like kind of like this kind of shape and and the weird thing was, I could feel it in my body, but they were like you feel it in your body, but everyone else also feels it in their body. The wound is actually showing in every cell. The rash.

Zia: 34:31

That tear is actually in everything. Wow. And that it's been holographically repeating itself through all of matter, through all of time space. Wow.

Zia: 34:42

So they were showing me like they asked me to clear the wounds and they asked me to pray to heal the wound, and what I saw was cause. I got to the place where I was like I'm not strong enough, like they were asking me to do it. I'm like I'm, I'm, I can't. This is so big, you know, like I could feel myself almost like um breaking down, trying to bring all of my energy to this wound and being like I could give till I'm dead. Yeah. And won't be satisfied Right Like. I don't.

Zia: 35:15

I personally don't have enough, and so I called out for help and my guides came and they they spoke and they said you know, you can't do it on your own. Yeah.

Zia: 35:30

This is a collective wound, so everyone has to do this, it has to be done together, and so I feel, you know, and Chiron is shifting right, like in that is bringing us deeper into our wound and and, and I would say, maybe not deeper into the wound, but maybe willing to be with it yeah like willing to finally be take the band-aid off and be like, oh shit, it's bad yeah right and to look at it and be like, okay, I can't hide anymore from the fact that there is this deep thing that I need to give attention to now.

Zia: 36:10

Yeah. It needs my attention and that is the only thing I need to give my attention to and heal it for us all. Right, what I heal in myself, I heal for you, what you heal in yourself, you heal for me, and that becomes. Maybe it's just like the outside edges of a cut that start. Maybe our little bit is just like a toot toot yeah it's on that, you know.

Zia: 36:35

But then everybody does it together and we teach other people how to do it for themselves yeah and now we're starting to see like, oh, it's getting smaller, you know, and I think the juxtaposition is like that work is happening and yet the world looks like it's gotten more. It's like wow, I know.

Zia: 36:58

I'm like is it getting better or is it getting worse? I can't you know. Or is it getting worse? I can't you know. And the only thing that keeps me centered is that my guides are constantly like, when I pull cards and when I come into my deepest heart, the message is always encouragement, the message is always hope, and I'm like it's a good thing I have cards that tell me that, because I swear, if I was using my natural eyes right now, I would not be able to hold that right. And so, yeah, I feel like your original question was about the latter.

Zia: 37:41

Yes, so I feel like for me, and really what I'm referring to in this, to in this, is, if you come to a place in your spiritual practice where you feel burnt out, where you feel exhausted, where you sit down to do whatever your practice is and you're like I don't want to, I'm going to invite that you do something different. Maybe it's not that you're doing it wrong. Maybe it's that your soul is wanting you to follow her or him or them. And what would it be like to sit down to open up sacred space with yourself? Cause to me, that's the goal. And what happens when you open that sacred space with yourself? Yeah.

Zia: 38:43

Right what wants to be, instead of it becoming like you know, well, I'm supposed to do 20 minutes of this and five minutes of that and this, and then I'm supposed to go do that, and then I'm supposed to journal, and then I'm supposed to you know an hour of this, and then you know, and then, by the time you're done, you're like and then you know, and then, by the time you're done, you're like okay, you know, but it becomes a to-do list if you're not careful.

Jenee: 39:08

Yeah, yeah, the temp.

Zia: 39:10

Yeah, and we lose like the connection with ourselves because it comes, like you said, now we're stuck to this wheel. Yeah. And we're like the whole point is liberation. Yeah. Right If it's not liberating you. Think again Right If you don't feel liberated. Yeah. Then maybe there's something else that needs to happen. You know like there was a whole period of time where my spiritual practice involved getting in my car during lockdown. I would get in my car because it was a safe place to scream because, everybody expects you to have road rage. Right.

Zia: 39:50

And I would just primal scream at the top of my lungs to the energy. Yeah. The sacred act of the moment, right Was for me to let the energy out of my body that sacred act, so that there was space then for me to be able to drop in deeper. So it's not a ladder to climb. And that brings me back to like intercession, right, or I don't want that to be a catchphrase, but I want people to think about am I in my heart? Yeah.

Zia: 40:27

Is what I'm doing bringing me into my heart or farther from it? Yep. And that's a really good litmus of what to participate in and what not to.

Jenee: 40:37

Yeah, and I think there's like that kind of templating that can happen, especially when we're first starting out like we can cling to that, even when it starts to feel like, oh, the wheels feel like they're falling off a little. This doesn't feel quite right, you know. It's like that's. That's maybe when it's time to kind of let let go, you know, and if you don't know what to do next, just try to be with yourself. If you've never prayed, maybe try praying to yourself.

Zia: 41:04

It feels resonant to you. And staying with the body, I really feel like there's a lot that can be garnered from just listening to the body. Practice lately is just to be silent and just witness and listen to the wild undulations of sensation that happen within a body and the knowingness that comes from that and the deepening into myself and and noticing the edges and the places where I'm like, oh, I'm resistant to that sensation and I want it to go away. And you like to get curious about it and let my body take me into something right, which I can do without having to have story or words or really do anything but just be with my body.

Jenee: 42:00

I know you wanted to lead a practice or a meditation. Yeah. I feel like we could talk for a hundred hours a hundred hours. I definitely want to have you, you, back, but let's do this meditation and then see how our, our time is.

Zia: 42:18

Beautiful. So, if it feels good, and close your eyes or take a soft gaze and maybe just welcome in whatever energies feel supportive to you Maybe your higher self, maybe your spirit team, even if you don't know their names and we're just going to invite in an intention to just connect with your soul song, and I want you to just hold that loosely. So I'm just going to say that and then you can let it go and it'll be in the vibration and we're going to start by rubbing our hands together to form a ball of chi, rubbing your hands together until you feel something warm. And when you're ready, you can open your palms anywhere from four to six inches apart. Just feel the energy between your hands. And if you don't feel anything, just imagine that you have a ball in between your hands made of light. And I'm going to ask that you imagine that that ball of light is filled with something like love or compassion, self-care, gratitude, whatever word really feels enlivening for you. And then I want you to turn the hands toward the chest so it's like you're balancing that ball between your heart and your hands and in this way it's like you're feeding your heart. So I just want you to hold that thought lightly, like you're feeding your heart Nourishment and we're going to keep our hands here holding this ball and we're going to add on a breath. So I want you to just let your hands hold the ball. You can let that go with your consciousness. It'll do itself, it'll manage itself. Use your imagination and enter your spinal column wherever your enter is perfect and imagine that you're moving down through your spinal column all the way down to your tailbone.

Zia: 45:29

And then I want you to imagine that you can send that energy all the way down through your legs and out your feet, down into Mother Earth, branching out like the roots of a tree, and keep expanding your roots downward until you find a ball of light in the center of Mother Gaia, a deep wellspring of nourishment, spring of nourishment. And as you approach it, ask Mother Gaia if you can place your roots into that underwater, underground river, if you will, and then just receive whatever Gaia gives you, whatever Mother Earth gives you, and we're going to receive that by drawing a breath in and drawing that energy through our roots. So inhale and hold the energy at the heart chakra level. So hold your breath at the heart and then exhale the energy back down through your roots and, on the inhale, drinking that nourishment from Mother Gaia, holding the breath at the heart and holding the energy at the heart, allowing the energy to swirl around the heart chakra and into the heart, and, on your exhale, breathing it back down into the earth one more time, drawing the energy up from mother earth. Expand and hold it in the heart and exhale it down. Beautiful. So we're going to continue to allow that to happen.

Zia: 48:12

It's going to continue to repeat that, even though we're not going to do that process, and we're going to bring our consciousness now and we're going to draw all the energy now up to the spine. So, wherever you are in the spine, enter the spinal column again and imagine your energy going up, up, up, up, up, all the way to the top of the crown and then reaching, reaching, reaching your energy up, your energy up, sending that energy all the way to the central sun, the great central sun it's okay if you don't know what that is Receiving all of that light energy from the great central sun. And on your inhale, you're going to draw that energy down from the central sun into the heart. So, taking an inhale, receiving the light into your heart, and then hold your breath and exhale it up and out of the crown chakra back to the central sun. Inhale, receive the light of the central sun into the heart and exhale the energy back up. One last time.

Zia: 50:04

Inhale the light of the central sun into the heart and hold and exhale out the crown and we're going to bring our hands to the bottom of the ball.

Zia: 50:32

So it's like we're balancing the ball in front of us and we're going to slowly lift the ball up, lifting the ball up until your hands come to the top of your head, almost like you're holding it on top of your head and your arms come out wide like ballerina arms, but your palms are up, and then exhale and press the palms open, spreading that ball so that you're actually putting yourself inside of it, and keep bringing your hands all the way around you like they're making a circle, until they naturally come to your lap and then flip your palms up.

Zia: 51:19

Palms are going to be like this, but seated on your lap. Lift your palms up and then draw the energy up, slowly, lift the palms when they come to the top of your head and float your hands. We're just dispersing all of this energy through your body and we're going to stay with that movement. When you get to the bottom, your palms come up and you're dispersing the energy through the body, coming upward, and whenever your palms come to the top, you rotate them and send the energy back down. We'll just do that one more time, together and again bringing your hands in front of the heart, back where we started, holding the ball between your heart and your hands, and maybe taking a gentle bow to this energy that you have created, and then press the energy into the heart all the way, receive it that was really nice.

Jenee: 53:16

That's like a little qigong and universal connection combo.

Zia: 53:27

Yeah, working with your biodynamic fields of energy.

Jenee: 53:33

I feel so good. Thank you, you're welcome. Any final thoughts? There's a lot more I think we could have gotten into. There was a lot more I think we could have gotten into.

Zia: 53:45

I think my final thought is remember, it's all about love, right? It's literally the only thing that's worth talking about, and especially with the energies that are so present that create separation, the only way through is to love Even that which seems unlovable. Yeah, even that which seems unlovable, yeah. I have a belief that if we all could come into love, that would be it, and it is the answer in my opinion. And that doesn't mean that we sit and do nothing, but love will form action. Yeah.

Jenee: 54:50

That's beautiful. Thank you so much. You're welcome, eternally grateful for you, thank you. Part two Two, we'll have that. Yeah, we'll have that soon. Part 48. Yeah, exactly Two, we'll have that. Yeah, we'll have that soon.

Zia: 55:06

Part 48.

Jenee: 55:07

Yeah, exactly, exactly. All right, sister. Thank you so much Welcome. The Heartlight Sessions podcast is executive produced and hosted by me, janae Halstead. It's edited, mixed and mastered by me too, and that theme song you hear it's called Heartlight and yep, you guessed it, it's from my record, disposable Love. Got questions about a certain healing modality or about heart-centered healing, or maybe you just need some advice on life, love or creativity. Send it my way, email me at letters at heartlightpodcastcom. Until next time, I'm Janae Halstead, and thanks for listening to Heartlight Sessions.