Episode #8: Is the Enemy Stealing the Joy of Your Motherhood?

In this episode, Lindsay Oehmen discusses the concept of mom guilt and how it may actually be lies from the enemy. She emphasizes that the devil preys on our weaknesses and uses self-doubt and negative thoughts to harm our relationship with our children. Lindsay shares her personal experiences and challenges moms to recognize and reject these lies. She encourages moms to write down their thoughts of mom guilt and cross them out, replacing them with the truth. Lindsay reminds moms that they are good moms and that their children know they are loved.

Connect with Lindsay on Instagram @MindfulMomHolistics
Email Lindsay@MinfulMomHolistics to submit your story to be on Doubt to FULL OUT

Transcript

Lindsay Oehmen (00:01.222)
Hello and welcome to today's episode. Mamas, I know you can feel me on this one. Mom guilt. We all feel it. We all have it. We have all felt it at one time or another. Some of us more often than not. And this is a topic that I'm going to cover today that, you know, I know we have all experienced and it stinks. It stinks. Like we always feel like.

Gosh, we're darned if we do, we're darned if we don't, we do this, we do this, we haven't done this, like we're just, some of us more than others are riddled with mom guilt. But guess what? What if that's not what it is? What if it's not mom guilt? What if it are lies from the enemy? Let's talk about our enemy for just a moment. He's smart. He's devious. He's patient. He knows everything about us. He knows our weaknesses.

He knows our heart's desire and he knows how to hit us the hardest. For me, one of those places is my motherhood. And maybe for you too. And today I wanna talk about not letting the devil steal the joy of our motherhood by using mom guilt. So.

Lindsay Oehmen (01:29.804)
Lies from the enemy can make you feel inadequate, can make you feel like you're not a good mom or you're not doing a good job. He is sowing the seeds of self -doubt in your mind to make you anxious, to make you sad, to make you feel guilty and to harm your relationship with your children. I know for me, when I feel guilty, sometimes I go back to my kids and I'm like, oh really? Like, I'm so sorry. And yes, we should apologize to our children.

But for me, it's the devil making me feel like, you know, the self -doubt and the lies that he's putting in my brain. And my kids are like, mom, it's cool. It's not a big deal. Thanks for the apology, but like, don't sweat it. But it's just the devil trying to over and over and over hit me where he knows it hurts the most for me. Because if you can dwell in mistakes, you can dwell in self -h -

hatred, you can dwell in anxiousness. That's where he wants you. He wants you dwelling in those places because then you're not thinking the good thoughts that God has for us. We're not thinking about who we really are. He wants our mind in the negative, in the negative place because negative thoughts lead to negative actions. And if your mind can think those things, then your heart is dwelling in anxiousness.

And we're not thinking on good things like the word in the Bible tells us to do. And also mamas, if you're feeling guilty because you're working on your business for your children, I'm telling you what, I know I have experienced that where I, you know, I'm working on my business for my family, for my children. And sometimes it feels like it's coming before them or it's more important than them. We know that's not a...

That's not true. We know that's not the case. Your children know that, but the devil is sowing that little seed of doubt in your brain and putting that lie in your head because he wants to affect your impact and your reach in your business by creating that self doubt, by telling you, hey, your kids think your work is more important than them. It's not true. It's a lie, mama. It's a lie. It's not mom guilt. It's lies from the enemy.

Lindsay Oehmen (03:53.862)
Not everyone has my childhood, thank goodness. Not everyone can identify with abuse and neglect.

But I guarantee every mama can identify with some parts of this story. Because the way that I was raised, if you know my story, you've heard a little bits and pieces of it.

I, looking back now, I know that I struggled with not knowing or feeling loved, not feeling heard, not having my feelings validated, not feeling like I mattered at all. Definitely not feeling safe or protected or again loved. And so my deepest desire is to make sure my children, sometimes on an unhealthy level, like my kids are like, mom, we get it.

We know you love us. My deepest desire is for my children to make sure they feel all of those things. And so the devil, he knows he can use, he can use my limiting belief of that I'm not being a good mom to create anxiousness, to create hatred in my own self. Like if I'm not careful, that's why it's so important, mama, is to think about what you are thinking about and realize and recognize that those are lies from the devil. It is not true.

Lindsay Oehmen (05:20.87)
So I get real passionate about this subject. Real passionate. Because it's hard. I know that that's where the devil knows one of my biggest weaknesses is for me. And so of course I'm human, right? And things happen and I take a phone call or I have a conversation that goes too long. One of my biggest flaws is telling my kids five minutes and they're like, mom, stop saying five minutes because they know.

It's gonna be longer than that. And you know, our mom, our kids, they need to know that the world, that they are not the center of the universe and that the world does not revolve around them. Like I get that. It's good to have them wait. It's good for us to be able to have to say to them like, hold on just a moment. I really wanna hear what you have to say, but I am in the middle of a thought. I am in the middle of an email. Let me finish this and I will be right with you. Otherwise they're completely entitled or completely spoiled.

It's very different than being on your phone and they're talking to you and you're scrolling through social media. Like that then sends them the signal and the picture like, hey, well, whatever's on your phone is way more important than me. But if they walk in and they interrupt you, it's okay for you to say, hey, mom, hey, hey, hey, child, I really want to hear what you have to say, but I'm in the middle of this really important thought. I've got to finish this sentence so I can get it out of my brain. A lot of times I will...

explain it to them as like when you're doing a paper, a minor in high school and middle school and when you're doing a paper or you're doing something in your homework, if I just barge in your room and start talking, are you like, wait a minute, mom, hold on.

this paper." And they understand that, right? Like that makes sense. So mamas, your kids do not think that your phone or your work is more important than them. I promise you deep down, they do not think that, but the devil is going to use that against you. He is going to put that in your brain as much as possible because he wants to affect your relationship with your children and he wants to affect your impact in your business.

Lindsay Oehmen (07:29.254)
The devil preys on us. He takes that sword of self doubt and lies and he twists it right in our heart and says, well, now your kid doesn't feel like you love her. Now your kid feels like your phone is more important.

And mamas, you know, and I will say it over and over and over again, mamas, it's not guilt. It is lies from the enemy. And you have the power to stop them. You have the power to grab that thought, recognize it and realize what it is, a lie from the enemy. You don't have to sit under that dark cloud. You can say, nope, I'm not believing it. I'm not believing that lie because I know the truth. I am a good mom.

My kids know I love them. My kids are not neglected. My kids are not abused. My kids know how important they are to me. But my kids also know they're not the center of the universe. And it is good to give them the virtue of patience.

So mama, from one mama to another, if you suffer from daily mom guilt, like I used to, and listen, let me tell you, it is a daily fight, okay? Our thoughts are a daily fight because the devil is smart and he is patient. And every day he tries to tell me what I did wrong, what I didn't do good enough, and how I'm damaging my children.

But mamas, you don't have to live under that. You don't. You can recognize that. Literally the other day, I was emptying the dishwasher. And the night before, we've got three girls and people are in and out of our house and we're active with our friends and our neighbors. And I had just taken one of my daughters on an errand. I think we ran to pick up some food. And my sweet daughter, she loves to go on rides.

Lindsay Oehmen (09:31.462)
Not even to get out of the car. She just wants to sit in the car with the heat seaters on. Like I think it's the most precious thing. Like I know I can always have an opportunity and a chance to talk to her just by asking her to go on a ride with me somewhere. So anyway, we went on a ride and she, I said, let's go, you know, to another place. And she's like, mom, I'm kind of hungry. And I'm like, all right, well, let's go home and eat dinner first. And we'll, we'll head out later and we'll go do that because our, our first ride was really, really short. And.

For me, I recognize that she's getting older and she's gonna be moving out soon and I wanna spend as much time in the car with her as I can because that's the place where I get to have conversations with her. Otherwise, she's usually off hiding in a room, which is fine. She's a teenager. That's what teenagers do. And so I thought, okay, well, we'll go home, we'll eat dinner, and then you and I will take a ride later and we'll go get ice cream or something. Well, neighbors popped in, you know, and the night got late and then our youngest wanted to watch a movie. And so, you know, I said, all right, well, you know, we'll go tomorrow.

And the next morning I'm emptying the dishwasher and literally the devil tries to tell me, well, now your daughter thinks that your friends are more important because you chose to have a conversation with them, invite them into the kitchen than to say, to take her on a ride to get ice cream. Literally like right to my gut, like right to my core. Like your kid thinks your friends are more important than her. That's what the devil tried to tell me. That's what he's telling me. And he's trying to just.

cause this like self -hatred and this anxiousness and this guilt of like, she thinks I chose my friends and watching a movie over taking her to get ice cream. Y 'all, that could not be farther from the truth. If I had even expressed and said that out loud to my child, she would literally look at me and be like, mom, why do you overthink things so much? Like, it's not that deep, bro. That's what she would, that was, that is exactly what she would have said to me because you know why? She knows I love her.

She knows she's important to me. She knows she is more important to me than a movie or even my friends. And I love my friends, you guys. I'm not saying that. I love my friends. We all love our friends. Of course, our children, you know, they come before our friends, right?

Lindsay Oehmen (11:46.534)
but.

The devil tried to make me feel and you know what? You know what else? It was a Sunday morning before going to church. So what is he trying to do? He's trying to get my mind and my thoughts off of what is most important that morning. The preparation for praise and worship. So mamas don't let him do that. Don't let him do that to you. Don't have to stand for it. The devil offers you wrong thinking every single day. You do not have to accept his offer.

You do not have to have mom guilt because that mom guilt, it's not guilt, mamas. It's a lie. You are a good mama. Your kids know you love them. You are working for them.

And your friends are not more important than taking your child out for ice cream. Just things happen and they're not the center of the universe. And that's okay too.

Thanks for listening, mamas. I hope this hit home a little bit. I hope this gave you some encouragement. I hope this gave you some hope that you can have better, brighter days. I hope that next time you have these thoughts of mom guilt, write them down. Like I challenge you to write them down. Write them down and then cross them out. Say, that is not true. That is a lie. And here's the truth and write the truth right underneath it.

Lindsay Oehmen (13:16.742)
Writing things down is powerful. Take the power away from our enemy.

All right, mamas, thanks for listening. I hope I see you on the next one.