65. How Losing A Child Led One Creator To Heal, Build Community, And Guide Mothers and Women Online

For this first week of Advent, let us reflect upon Hope, Hope in Christ.

We are honoured to welcome our next guest, Camille Mendoza, who is the designer of our podcast apostolate's logo! 

She is a brand designer, and newly expectant mother! Congratulations, Camille!

Camille shares the beautiful, heartfelt story of her daughter Lilo a lived a radiant, albeit short life, and how grief reshaped Camille's faith, family, and creative work, purpose, motherhood and passion. From counselling and prayer to charity and branding, she shows how small projects can become instruments of hope.

• finding mission in motherhood and loss
• Craft and Being as a blend of craft and sanctity
• practical counsel for grieving parents
• Lilo Café fundraiser and community support
• using digital tools wisely for good
• accessible branding for mission-led creators
• discernment with spouse and seasons of family life
• Christus Vivit, Mary at the Cross, and hope

Please join us every week on the Veil in Armour Podcast, where stories come alive through a journalist’s lance and mother’s heart

Camille Mendoza's creative work can be found on: https://craftandbeing.com

She is on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/@craftandbeing

Camille's online course on Substack for business women is available here:https://camillemendoza.substack.com/

Chapters

• 0:00 A Mother’s Sorrow And Hope
• 2:55 Welcome to the Veil + Armour Podcast
• 3:56 Prayer And Introductions
• 4:31 Camille’s Design Work And Clients
• 6:19 Finding A Calling while navigating anxiety
• 9:35 Craft And Being: Name And Vision
• 12:01 Motherhood As Catalyst For Vocation
• 14:12 Tools for Mothers, Supporting their creativity
• 16:49 Seasons Of Motherhood And Balance
• 20:23 Remembering Camille's Beloved Daughter Lilo
• 23:14 Faith, Christus Vivit, And Dreams
• 26:01 Lilo’s Name, Meaning, And Grace
• 27:51 Lilo's Café: Grief Into Service
• 30:01 Advice For Grieving Mothers
• 34:03 A Call To The Digital Mission Field
• 36:27 Camille on Substack and courses for women and mothers
• 39:32 Discernment, Family, And Obedience
• 42:02 Marriage, Grief, And Shared Cross
• 45:28 Blessed Mother Mary At The Cross And Our Hope
• 48:09 Closing Blessings And Next Guest Teaser

Transcript

Camille Mendoza: 0:00

And I'd see like the Pieta and um different visuals of Mother Mary and Jesus and her being present and watching her son go through that suffering. And I I just never resonated with it. And I was like, why? Like, why would you depict this? Why I I didn't understand. Um, but having gone through what we've gone through, I just think now how important that is because everyone, everyone is going through something and they need hope. Here, there is a very short 2 second pause: A photo of Lilo looking in awe at the Eucharist is shown on screen on our YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@veilandarmour Today was actually supposed to be her fifth birthday. Um, unfortunately, she passed away suddenly and like really unexpectedly for us. Uh, it's almost two years ago now. So her last birthday that we celebrated with her was her third birthday. Um and yeah, at the time, um sorry, I'm I'm just going down a trip on memory lane, I guess. Um but spending so much time with a beloved daughter, it um it really helps you see how how God sees you.

Sheila Nonato: 1:33

How God sees us in our suffering is through how his son saw us on the cross. With love beyond human comprehension. In this week's episode, we have Camille Mendoza, a Catholic creative from British Columbia, newly expectant mom, whose beloved firstborn daughter Lilo left this earth too soon at the tender age of three. Let's hear her deeply moving journey from grief to healing. How did this young mother cope with such a tragic loss? How did faith help her in her healing? And how did this immensely sorrowful experience become a blessing in helping Camille find her voice and her passion for motherhood, as well as in her new venture of helping mothers and women bring to life their creative independent businesses.

Sheila Nonato: 2:39

Thank you for joining us this week, Sisters in Christ. Happy Thanksgiving to our American sisters and brothers, and may you have a blessed, blessed celebration and blessed weekend. Take care.

Co-Host: 2:58

Hello and welcome to the Veil and Armour Podcast. This is your host, Sheila Nonato. I'm a stay-at-home mom and a freelance Catholic journalist. Seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the inspiration of Our Lady, I strive to tell stories that inspire, illuminate, and enrich the lives of Catholic women to help them in living out our vocation of raising the next generation of leaders and saints. Please join us every week on the Veil in Armour Podcast, where stories come alive through a journalist's lance and mother's heart.

Sheila Nonato: 3:38

Is that correct, Camille? A little bit on the outskirts, but Vancouver, because that's what people know, right? Okay, okay, awesome. And you are the owner of Craft and Being. And let's start off with a prayer, if you don't mind.

Camille Mendoza: 3:54

Of course. That sounds great.

Sheila Nonato: 3:55

Okay. Did you want to lead and then I'll respond or we can do uh Hail Mary?

Camille Mendoza: 4:02

Sure, yeah. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Sheila Nonato: 4:18

Holy Mary, Mother of God, we pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Amen. Amen. Well, thank you so much, Camille. And I wanted to introduce the listeners and and the subscribers on YouTube to the designer of our logo, our beautiful logo. So my uh my sister-in-law sketched it out, but uh Camille is the one who finished it, colored it in, put the uh the writing on it, the fonts, and uh it's it's been amazing. So thank you. Thank you so much for that beautiful, beautiful design that you did. Thank you for the honour, Sheila. I love podcast graphics, it's just so much fun to make something pop. And um it's like it's so funny. You're working with such a little canvas, but there's so much potential to take it, especially with how Veil + Armour has started and how how it's grown over the last year and a bit, right? Yeah, I think like we just celebrated our anniversary around Easter time one year.

Camille Mendoza: 5:22

Yeah.

Sheila Nonato: 5:22

So yeah, thank you so much for that. And um, and yeah, I was just so intrigued by the whole process that you, you know, you were asking about what color, what kind of blue, because they're different kinds of blue. And and um, and yeah, can you sort of walk us through uh so tell us also about your your clients? You've had a lot of Catholic clients that we might have heard of, or I'm sure we have heard of. Um, Sister Miriam Miriam James, correct? Uh her podcast. Yeah, we do the Abiding Together podcast, which is so much fun. Um, Redbird Ministries, they're a grief support ministry out in Louisiana for moms who have lost children of any ages. We do Reform Wellness. Um, reforms kind of moving around all over the world, but they're wonderful. So those are some of our big clients, and we also take on a lot of smaller mission-oriented Catholic clients from all over the world. Yeah. And tell tell us please, how did you get started? Was this um sort of your career path when you went to university? How did you sort of foresee your career at that point?

Camille Mendoza: 6:31

Yeah. Um it's interesting. I I like look back and see God's hand in the entire journey. Um I it was not anything close to what I expected, but it it has been what I have always dreamed of. And I think the Lord is still working on that, and he's, you know, um molding me in different ways and telling me, you know, go this direction or go this direction. But when I when I was a kid, I guess I had always taken an interest in the arts.

Camille Mendoza: 7:07

So media, um, drawing, painting, digital arts, and creating things. I I was uh a pretty bored kid who didn't spend a lot of time outdoors because my parents were just afraid of what would happen if they let me out there. And so I spent a lot of time on the computer and was one of the early people on my space coding. And then we moved on to uh whatever the different platforms were BlogSpot, Live Journal, Bebo, etc. Um, and yeah, I spent a lot of my summers and days after school just coming up with fun projects, companies that didn't exist yet.

Camille Mendoza: 7:53

I would just, you know, buy jewelry from the dollar store that I would put together and then I would take photos of it and then post it on a website and call it some company name that didn't actually exist. And there was no PayPal attached to it or anything, but it was just fun for me to see something come out of nothing. Um, and so I think the Lord had always had those seeds planted within me. Um when I when it was finally time to decide what I was going to do in the future. It seems like they make it such a big deal in our culture.

Camille Mendoza: 8:32

Like once you are, you know, at the end of high school, you have to now choose what college you'll go to and and decide what you want to be for the rest of your life. And it feels like it's just this one thing. And I think it was because of that that led me through um this battle with anxiety and um, yeah, needing to go to doctors, counselors, psychologists to kind of figure out why I was going through so many mental breakdowns and just having a hard time breathing. Um and I think a lot of that was rooted around how I felt like it was difficult to bridge together what I understood of God and how I wanted to pursue a path of holiness.

Camille Mendoza: 9:23

But also, like my parents and culture and the rest of the world paves this path of what success looks like. And both seem good, you know, like they make it out to seem like this is what's good for you, or this is what's good for you. But I couldn't, my brain just couldn't find a way to merge the two together. Um, and I think it was that like, well, how do I become successful in the world sense or with the approval of my parents? How do I make them proud? Um, while also like using the gifts and the curiosities and um the interests that the Lord has given me, how do I do that without, you know, just like living lifeless throughout the rest of my life? A

Camille Mendoza: 10:12

nd so um I didn't know the answers at the time. I I went to school for something similar to my interests. I um have a Bachelor of Arts in communications and took electives in visual arts and graphic design and media. Um, and I still didn't know what I was going to do with that, but I started working for a large accounting firm, doing marketing work for them. That's kind of where my career started, and then it all changed when I had my first daughter, Lilo.

Camille Mendoza: 10:44

I decided after being with her, like that I just didn't want to go back. Um, so she was kind of that catalyst that just cleared everything up for me and opened up this path that started Craft and Being, the very early stages of it.

Camille Mendoza: 11:03

It was just called Mendoza Collective Co. at the time. And it's neat that way because projects can change, the names of it can change, the direction can change, but you just have to get started, right? And that's kind of where it started for me was just not wanting to go back to my role after my maternity leave, and it sort of took its own direction from there in um just listening to where the Lord was wanting me to take it. Yeah.

Sheila Nonato: 11:33

So when you mentioned the name craft and being, can you tell us how did that come about?

Camille Mendoza: 11:38

Yeah. Um I I just love this idea of working on your craft. And I think that when you work on something that it could be tangible, it could be digital, but when you work on something that is um like a mission that has been given to you, whether it be from your own personal story, maybe it was something that you struggled with, like a wound, maybe it's just something that you've always loved doing as a kid, like you were into pottery, and it's something that your grandma taught you. You can work on that craft.

Camille Mendoza: 12:13

And as you are on the journey of working on that craft, it is also working on your being and what you know about yourself, how you can learn to love yourself, how how you can see these different angles about yourself, and how you can see God in him as creator and in you as co-creator, and what he wants to bring about and to bring alive in you as his instrument.

Camille Mendoza: 12:40

Um, so that's that's kind of where the name came from. It was something that I felt like has followed me throughout my entire life, where whenever I actually take the path, even if it's a scary path, but whenever I've taken the path that I've I felt like the Lord is calling me here, um, I've grown a lot in my own personal self and in love for myself, in love for God.

Camille Mendoza: 13:07

And I see that as like a gesture of the Father, just saying, you know, I love you, my daughter. I want you to take um, you know, not always the easy, not always the comfortable path, but the path that's going to make you become the best version of yourself, to make you become the path or to make you go into the path of holiness that I'm calling you to. Um, so that's yeah, that's where the name Craft and Being comes from.

Camille Mendoza: 13:36

And it's it's neat because we work with a lot of mission-driven organizations, whether it be someone's one-person business or whether it's grown to like a small to medium-sized business, it's always started from a mission that someone has had. And I'm just so excited to see that grow from like the idea stage, um, where there's still so many barriers and it feels like it's difficult to get to to go from step one to this huge vision to a growth level where we're starting to um get the work in front of the people that it could serve the best.

Sheila Nonato: 14:19

And when you mentioned the joy and then the inspiration for the company, you had been working at an accounting firm, and then you said you had your daughter and she was your inspiration. Are you okay to talk about her and how she became that light and that inspiration for you?

Camille Mendoza: 14:37

Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, I uh, like I said, this whole journey, Craft and Being, and what it's become, and I'm sure where it's going has been a seed for a long time. I remember working in my cubicle. Thankfully, I had this nice window view, which was um unheard of for like a co-op intern at the place. Um, but I would look out the window and just think, like, wow, I wonder what it would be like to use these skills, um, the technical things that I was learning for organizations, missions that I was actually interested in, you know, like it you can grow natural resources only so much. You can grow um like large organizations only so much.

Camille Mendoza: 15:30

They they already have a lot of money, and you can you can do a lot with that, but it would be so neat to just do something that you're actually really interested in and wanting to move that mission forward. Um, so that's that's where that seed started. I that was just daydreaming.

Camille Mendoza: 15:47

And I think we need to do more daydreaming because that's where we we can find those hidden gems of um yeah, what the Lord is wanting to bring out and alive through us. Sheila, I'm just checking to make sure that everything is okay because it looks like it's paused on your end.

Sheila Nonato: 16:04

Or oh, um, yeah, no, I think sometimes because it downloads in high resolution, it supposedly, yeah, like freezes people sometimes. Oh yeah. But right now it's uh showing me that everything is okay. Okay, okay, great. So just making sure. Okay, thanks for checking. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um so yeah, I I went onto my maternity leave when my first daughter Leela was born. Today was actually supposed to be her fifth birthday. Um, unfortunately, she passed away suddenly and like really unexpectedly for us. Uh it's almost two years ago now. So her last birthday that we celebrated with her was her third birthday. Um and yeah, at the time, um sorry. On memory lane, I guess. Um but I'm sure you know what it's like having experienced it multiple times, but spending so much time with a beloved daughter. It um it really helps you see how how God sees you. And she's made me um she's made me think of the world so differently, like she's everything that I needed. And I think that just wanting to be around her and wanting to learn from her um allowed me to take steps that I just I never was prepared to take because I was taught to take the safe path. And I think that's why I had a lot of anxieties, because there were too many people to please, and I needed to take my gaze off of who it was that I was looking to please, and um redirect that to only one person, to the Lord and what he wants to do through me. And she made that like incredibly clear for me. Um, so when I um when she was a little bit older, maybe around six or seven months, and we were out of the crazy postpartum stage, I just it felt like I had the permission to begin dreaming, begin thinking about projects. And um so I I took my skill set that I had in my corporate job and just decided to to do that online. And it's led me to so many incredible people. I'm you being one of them, Sheila, like just I I feel like we're living in a time right now where it's it's so possible for women, for mothers, to not have to what do you call it? It's not necessarily not have to choose because I don't think your identity is your career or your identity is to be a mother, like a stay-at-home mother. Um, I think we're we're more than that. Like there's many layers to who we are, and the Lord calls us to different paths as well. Like, what is a path of holiness for your family? What is right based off of you know, your husband and what what he uh like I guess what he's called to and what you are called to and what your children are called to. Like it takes a lot of um your own personal discernment to figure that out. So I'm not going to be the person to say, like, there is one path to holiness, and it is to leave your job and take the path that I took. Um, but I think there is such a beauty in the time that we're living, like we're really called to live in these times where it feels permissionless to start something, to start something so personal to you as well, um, where you can go on and you can create a website with AI or whatever right away. And I actually think we like as a mom who is at home all the time, I think we're actually called to go into those realms and to be one of those people to bring the missions that are important to us out into the world using tools like this. Obviously, there are still some ethical concerns around it, but I think you need to be educated in the space to be able to accurately understand the concerns and learn deeper about them. Because you can't know anything about them if you don't know what it looks like, right? But um it's it's funny because I have my 15-month-old now. Um, and obviously there are times where she is napping, and I just go down these rabbit holes and I'm like, wow, like more people need to know about these tools so that they don't have to be me and have anxiety around, you know, feeling like you are called to more than what you are currently doing on a day-to-day basis, feeling like you want to start a project, but you don't have the time or you don't have capital, you don't have a team or resources, you can start somewhere. And it's there are so many resources to do that now. So that's kind of where I've shifted my focus is how can we teach this to more people and how can we encourage and empower more people, especially mothers who, you know, there is something unique that they have to bring to the world. Like I follow so many that teach me about activities I can do with my toddler, like looking at textures and nature and things like that. It's not something I would have come up with on my own, but I love learning about it from other people. And I think that I have something to share too. I think we all have something to share, but you know, it takes um really being attuned to that and really hearing and being sensitive to what the Lord is saying to actually quiet down the world and take those steps to begin to do that. So yeah, that's kind of where we've pivoted as crafted being, which whatever freedom to pivot because um that's that's how the Lord works too. Yeah, absolutely. And creativity and um, you know, being able to, as you said, sort of maneuver whenever something is thrown at you or a different situation, and you come up with a creative solution. Yeah. And as you're saying, yeah, motherhood, there are different seasons. So in the beginning, the newborn, the new young mom, young wife, that's that's probably I don't I don't want to say the hardest, but because we don't know what's coming our way, that might make it a little more um little more difficult. And also the lack of sleep and all that. But you know, yeah, motherhood, the seasons then change when they start to grow up. But I can understand what you're saying that there are now tools that can help moms um to, if they want to use their talents, um, and if they still want to stay at home, there are those tools, or if they want to work part-time or however their situation is, but there are tools available. Um, and I think we might, you know, women might be putting a lot of pressure on ourselves, right? To to do everything, to be, to be everything, the super mom. And probably should kind of let that go and just let God help us. You know, what is he calling us to? Maybe it's not getting for myself, it's not gonna be the, I don't know, the full schedule that you know I used to do. You know, I'm not gonna work until midnight and um you know, on my off time in the on the weekend. Like I have a family. So that's not happening. But, you know, there are pockets of time that here and there, and if my husband is home, you know, that that's sort of how I maneuver in that way. And I also my expectations, you know, I don't expect to be working a certain number of hours like I used to, like crazy hours, because that was also not healthy. That was also not healthy. Especially, wow. Yeah. Um, and my joy is now in in my family. Um, although, yeah, like the career did bring me joy and fulfillment. But again, to pivot to what is God calling me to now? And as I I was listening to you, I was sort of, yeah, thinking about my own kind of discernment. Uh, when I left, I left my career to start a family. I um yeah, I got a job actually um that I really wanted to take, but the doctor said I um I have a complicated pregnancy. So I had to decline. And I had had a previous miscarriage before that. So I was very, I don't know, anxious. Yeah, I think that's the word, anxious that you know everything should go well, or at least I will try my best and leave it to God. But you know, that's yeah, sometimes that's what we have to kind of do. Um, the mom or the dad, um, the wife or the husband, that we kind of have to surrender. There are times we have to surrender to what God is calling us to, but I don't, I don't regret it. Um because I, yeah, I my children have taught me so much. And I'm sure your children, as you were talking about um Belo, um, she sounded she sounds like a beautiful little girl, you know, that brought you so much joy. Can you can you tell us a little bit more if you if you don't mind? Like what kind of a um a daughter was she to you? She sounds like she had a very big personality. Huge. Yeah, she um she was very spunky. It's funny because my husband and I think about Lelo and we're like, wow, she's exactly like me as far as my personality. But when I look at her, like she um it's just so funny what motherhood does to you because it makes you be kinder to yourself because of how you look at your child. And um I just remember Lilo, she had really strong boundaries, and she would be working on her art piece, and I would want to join her, and she's like, Mom, I just like I need my own space right now, which is so weird for to me for a three-year-old to say that to me. But I just learned a lot through her from little lessons like that, like honoring what your needs are in that moment and asking for them and not feeling like you need to be everything and everyone for every single person. Um, but just yeah, politely requesting that. Um, Lilo was just so good at that. Um, and she she loved nature, she just helped us to stop and pause and um pay attention to like what the colors of the leaves were, things that we would normally just zoom past on our our day-to-day lives. Um there's just so much I could say about her, but since she's since she passed, it made me realize like as short as her three years were with us, and I wish we had many more years with her to get to know her and to learn more from her. She's still teaching us so much, and she lived such a full life. Um it just like I have no regrets about the way that she lived and how I was able to spend all of those three years with her because I decided not to go back. And if there are people who are called to that, I want them to have that too. Like I feel like Lilo, even though she even though she went early, that her life really pointed back to God and the messages that we received after she had passed made me think about what our lives are really meant to be here on this earth for. And I think that you know, you're called to reach a certain person, Sheila. I'm called to reach some people. Lelo was called to reach the many people that she's reached, and one day maybe we'll be able to see the souls that we've impacted and helped bring to heaven to come to know Jesus, to have a better relationship with with God. Um and her life was really that to me. And I um I want my life to be like that too. I want my husband's life to be like that. I want my family's life to be like that. And so the work that I do now and my off hours and Is like all about that. Like, who are you? What are your curiosities? What are the things like the seeds that have always been there? And I want people to see that that's not random, that's God. Um, and it was that for me, like when I was going through that period of anxiety. Um, it lasted a couple of years, but I came across the the post-Synod exhortation by Pope Francis. Um, it was like a letter to young people, but I really think that it's for everyone. But it's called Christus Vivit, and um that letter taught me to embrace these dreams that they aren't random. There is something unique that he's calling you to. Um, actually, maybe I should read an actual line from it, but um, he says to respond to our vocation, we need to foster and develop all that we are. This has nothing to do with inventing ourselves or creating ourselves out of nothing. It has to do with finding our true selves in the light of God and letting our lives flourish and bear fruit. Your vocation inspires you to bring out the best in yourself for the glory of God and the good of others. It is not simply a matter of doing things, but of doing them with meaning and direction. Um, so that that line and many other lines, it's it's a long piece. Um just yeah, gave me that permission that, like, you know, I have interests here, I have desires here, and God wants that for me, but he wants me to use it for good. He wants me to use it to become better myself and to make things better for his sons and daughters and people who have yet to become his sons and daughters. Um, it's just, yeah, such a beautiful piece. I would really recommend to everyone to to read through that because yeah, it's not just for young people, but everyone can be young if they are still hoping and dreaming and you know, listening to what the Lord is calling them to. And that is uh written by Pope Francis, correct? That's right, yeah. Yeah. Were you at World Youth Date if my my memory I wish I was at that World Youth Date, but it came after the Panama one. Oh, okay. I see. I so which one were you at? No, I I wish I was at World Youth. Oh, you weren't? Oh, you weren't. Okay, okay, sorry. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I think I still qualify, so maybe my family's Korea. Yeah, that would be amazing. You bring your whole family with you. But um, well, I I went when I was yeah, single. So I don't well, I had to sleep, we had to sleep on the floor of a gym. So maybe not. Maybe they'll bring a family or rent a hotel. Which one did you, Michila? Um, I went to World You uh Toronto, uh 2000. Oh my gosh, is it like a million years ago? 2003. And then when Pope Benedict was elected, um, so yeah, I've seen quite a few popes. It's very strange and odd that um it's it's been like that. But 200, when was Pope Benedict? Um, wait, 2002, sorry, is World Utah Toronto. I think it was 2003 or 4, just before, no, 2005, I think. Um, just before I went to the Middle East. But yeah, um, it's yeah, it's actually an amazing experience. Like I I can't, I don't know. I just my husband was actually also there. We never we didn't know each other then, but he was part of, yeah, he was part of the Way of the Cross in Toronto. He was one of the um, he played one of the Roman soldiers. Okay. Yeah, so it came down it in Toronto, there's like a a street, you know, a long stretch of um, like in front of the museum, the Royal Interior Museum. It's called University Avenue. Like it's where all the the happening, you know, things happening are there. Like it's very busy. But on that day, and it was gonna rain actually, it was starting to rain, but as the, you know, as the actors were coming down University Avenue, people were really quiet, which is very, very strange and yeah, odd, because you know, it's there were a lot of people. So, but I think they knew there was something special happening. Um, and it was yeah, it was really, really beautiful. But did you notice your husband? You did you know he existed? No, no, I didn't even know. I just saw the actors and all that. I I just to be honest, didn't even yeah, we met like I don't know, when was that? 2002. So we met in 2009. So I didn't even know him. No, I didn't, I had no clue that um, yeah, but it's uh one of those coincidences that, or maybe it's not a coincidence that it's meant to happen that way.

Camille Mendoza: 34:59

Yeah, yeah.

Sheila Nonato: 35:00

But um, yeah, I'm I'm also curious about your daughter's name. How did you come up with um Lilo? Yeah, Lilo is actually a nickname. So her name is Lauren Adelie. Okay. Um honestly, the name just stood out to us because it sounded like an Atta's name and we knew she would be the older sister to her siblings. Um but it um Lauren with the the laurels, it like it wasn't until after she passed that we reflected again on her name and how it pointed to this victory that God has already won. Um, so it was just so interesting how her life really pointed to that because she um she obviously passed before the age of reason and went directly to heaven. And for us, because she is baptized, um it's kind of crazy that like throughout that week that she passed, um, and and the month and the year that followed, we felt like we were just kind of floating in this grace. Like they're like, I look back, and my husband and I look back and we think about that time and we're like, how did we survive, let alone like go through all of um, I guess the motions of planning a funeral and seeing all of our family and and and do that like presently, and it was just I'm sure a grace by the grace of God, by her prayers, by the prayers of everyone who is praying for us. Um and also because we had peace, that she was, you know, with the Lord. And so I look back at her name and I was like, wow, there really was a victory that has already been won. And she points us right to that. Um yeah, that's it's kind of her name and and the backstory behind it. And also, um, can you tell us about the cafe if you set the time? Like what, yeah, how did this cafe come about? Mm-hmm. Um, so I I like to save ideas. Obviously, I'm a brand designer, so there's just ideas all over the place. And one idea that I really wanted to do because Lilo, she was just like a mini, me and Mike, like my husband and I, and then there's Lilo. But Lelo just loved to do all the things that we love to do. So anytime we had free time, she would want to go to a cafe or she would want to go to the library. And we're like, you're a three-year-old, how do you want to what do you mean you want to go to a cafe? Um, but we spent a lot of our leisure time taking her to different cafes all over. So I just knew that one day I wanted to have a cafe-themed birthday for her. Um, and unfortunately, we never got there, but we were able to celebrate um her life, the first anniversary of uh the day that she passed with everyone. We were able to rent a space at Gardens of Gethsemane, which is where the cemetery where she's buried, it's like such a beautiful space. Like people just go for walks there because it's it has like park vibes. Um, and we were able to invite people into this space and have a few friends who are into making coffee and matcha. And it was just like this um this whole thing, I guess, where we were able to invite the community to come in, make a donation to the BC Children's Hospital, and then from that they can order um, they can order coffee, an iced coffee or a drink or a matcha. And we had um a local cafe that Lilo loved to go to, donate some baked goods. So they brought in some like New York Levan cookies. We had Lee's Donuts donate some cookies, and uh the local coffee shop also let us use their espresso machine because I don't have the funds to buy my own espresso machine. Um, but it felt like just such a community event, and it was just fun to celebrate her life. We were able to make um like branded coffee cups and stickers for everyone who attended, and um, I think she would have loved it. Like I'm grateful that we were able to still have that Lilo Cafe themed cafe for her and to remember her and honor her um with everybody. Yeah. Oh, that's that's beautiful. It's a beautiful way to honor her legacy by um having a fundraiser to help other kids at the hospital. Um that's I mean, did that just come to you? How did you come up with the concept? So Leela was actually born um not at that hospital, but at the adjacent hospital, so BC Women's Hospital. And when she was born, they found like a small hole in her heart. Um, so they took her right to BC Children's Hospital, and the children's hospital was really helpful. Um, they said it would go away within the first two years, but it went away after four months, which is amazing. Um and yeah, when when she had passed the the or before when she got sick, the plan was actually to move her there. Unfortunately, she never made it, but we know how much work that hospital does for the local children around. We have some friends who are regularly um getting treatment at the hospital, some of Lilo's little friends as well, who are are served by them regularly. So if we can pass that on to be able to help other children in um in a similar condition or or not, um that's yeah, really meaningful to us and and a good way to honor her life, I think. Well, thank you for sharing that. And um, I guess if you're comfortable, you know, for for mothers who are grieving, can you offer some advice or your own experience? How did how did you get through it? Yeah. Um prayer. Prayer. Uh sometimes I don't have the strength to pray. But the community like this might not be for mothers who are grieving, but for the ones who know mothers who are grieving to to have people always messaging us and saying, Hey, I'm thinking about you. Hey, I lifted up this prayer for you, or I offered up this mass for you and your family and for Lelo. Um I I can't explain, to be honest. Like there's there's a grace that is not our own strength. Um and I think that that it's it's God. Um, and it's it's just so powerful. And so if you have the opportunity, even if you don't know anyone who's grieving right now, but if you can lift up a prayer for those who are, um that does more than you know. Um, but in addition to that, I would just say um getting the right resources. So we were offered counseling right away. Um, and we were able to go consistently for six months and still go regularly as a couple and as individuals. I think that has been really helpful. But also just, you know, going down your own I don't know, I don't know if I want to call them rabbit holes, but just like learning more about the faith and um like I uh I was led to the works of Blessed Catherine Ann Emmerich after Lilo had passed and her visions and was or um had heard or or learned about um a vision that she had where children and and don't quote me on this obviously because it still needs to be um like verified and we'll know when we go to heaven, but that children who had had passed can go to heaven and they can kind of like choose to stay their age or move into their glorified age, um, whatever that looks like. And every single mass that their parents attend, they are there too praying for them, and they pray very specifically for their mothers to be able to do whatever it takes to enter heaven and to join them and be reunited once again. And that was a vision that she had, and it was important to me.

Camille Mendoza: 44:14

Like I hold on to that so clearly, like I I think about Lilo in every mess that I'm at, every time it's a holy holy, I think about her joining us and all the angels and saints, and her just there, like just shining and knowing that I'm like intentionally being prayed for, and whenever I have to make a decision, and it's one that requires like a lot of courage or is really difficult to make think about that and being with her once again and you know making the right decision to to walk that way of holiness for myself and for our family, and so it's just she's still with us every day, just in such a different way, but in a way that that reminds us that heaven is there, that the victory has already been won, but that we have to choose it, we have to choose it every second, every minute, and it'll come up the choices come up in different ways, like the world is really, really loud, but that God is calling you to something really specific, and you just have to quiet down the rest of the world and listen and take a step, you know, take one step, and the path will be made clear for you if you just keep taking those one steps and you take them with the Lord. Um and just that visual reminds me of that like many times in my day, which I'm so grateful for because it makes me think of her and whenever I miss her, I just think you know, how can I how can I be better in that sense?

Sheila Nonato: 46:17

Not in like a self-demeaning sense, but like be better so that um yeah, I can also be the version of me that lives out God's call for my life. Thank you for sharing that. I I really admire your your faith, the str your strength. Um, and the way that you're honoring your your daughter's legacy, that you know, on Instagram you shared what must have been a very difficult um announcement, um, or I guess the your daughter's birthday. Um but that must have been difficult for you. But you I I feel like you have this sense or this calling to share the pain that you've been going through so that others can also kind of lighten their own burden if they're going through the same thing that you know you you can do it too, because I I've I've been able to go through the cross, um, but Jesus is helping me towards the resurrection. And um yeah, I'm I'm so honored that you spoke with me. And I I also admire that you are going into the digital space, the the digit, you know, the digital mission territory, as I like to call it, is that uh, you know, there are a lot of landmines that you can step on there. Uh there are a lot of dark corners that we don't want to go to, but I feel like there is a battle going on on the internet, a battle for the souls of children, um, and everyone really who might fall prey to you know the dark, whatever the dark forces are on the internet, but you are bringing that light and helping others, especially women and mothers who want to venture into that space to try to bring the the word of God, to try to evangelize through their faith on the online space. Can you, if you have a little bit of time, can you tell me how did you pick this space? Um, and what is what do you feel called to? What is your mission there? Yeah, I believe that too, Sheila. Thank you. And um I believe that because I step in with my light and you have your light. You're here in the digital space, um, and I've been able to meet you through it. And anyone listening to this or anyone, you know, wanting to take steps in the digital space also has their light um that can help make it shine a bit brighter. So I I think that's a powerful visual. So thanks for for bringing, you know, the light up. Um but as far as picking the digital space, um I think I just fell into it because as I mentioned, when I was a kid, I just spent all my time there. And so some kids might complain that like their parents never let them out, but I think that you know, the Lord worked through that and um he's using it to make me an instrument of his in the digital space. And um I think that um, like I said earlier, it's permissionless to come on here. Like a lot of people think you need permission to start anything, but you don't. Um, you can start with, you know, a wait list, you can start with something on Canva, you can start with a Google Doc and just sharing that. There's like so many entry points that you can begin. Um and I just think that there is so much potential, especially in these next couple of years, that we need more light in this space. Um we need more people who have something, something to share. And it can start, it doesn't have to be leaving your corporate job and deciding to start a business and it's craft and being right away. Like, no, it doesn't work that way. Um, but you can start with a project, and like you mentioned, Sheila, you were a mom, that is your primary vocation, you don't have all the hours to spend working in the same way that you did when you worked your corporate job, but you don't need that. Like you need, you know, like you could have been daydreaming during this conversation, and maybe the Lord is planting seeds in you through that. Um, it can just be a project. It can be you gathering three people who have a similar interest and you guys meeting every Saturday or every once a month every Saturday in this spot. It can be an Instagram account of curations that you've picked because you have an interest in this area. Uh, it can be anything. And it can start with something so small, but when people see that, like it's so crazy how the world brings you together and it's brought us together, and it's brought us together with everybody else who we've met. Um, but there is there's just the spirit of collaboration because everyone has gifts that they can bring to the table, and it doesn't feel like you have to compete with anyone. You can collaborate with everyone to help bring this mission to life. Um, and it's just such a space where where those possibilities are possible and are endless. Um, and so I I think there is so much potential. And if if someone has a project that they want to start, talk to me or read some of the stuff that I'm writing on Substack because I feel like this time for me specifically, I I feel like the Lord is calling me to slow down on project work. So I've actually closed off and like I have a wait list up for larger retainer clients. I'm not taking big clients on right now because I feel like I just need more time to just write out these ideas that the Lord is giving to me. So I started posting them on Substack, and it's kind of crazy how people have found the work. Many of them are non-Catholics too. They just like resonate with the message of wanting to be out there, and it's cool because I get to sprinkle in little quotes from saints or like the popes and stuff. Um, but that space is is uh is growing and um it's it's a place where you can start. So you can read some of my stuff on Substack and um and see what you think about it, and then we can have a conversation if if you have a project that you want to work on. My latest one is called You Don't Need a Title, You Need a Project. So I think that's a good one to start off with. Yeah. Can you tell us, yeah, what what are your social handles? Social media handles? Um on Substack, it's just Camille Mendoza uh dot substack.com. Um, and then Camille Rmen's on Instagram. Um, and then you can follow Craft and Being everywhere, and that's also our website handle, craftandbeing.com. And do you have a specific um sort of clientele that you're you're open to working with or yeah, right now I'm actually working on, I guess it's like kind of like a mini course, um, which has my branding fundamentals in it. So if you feel like you have a mission that you want to bring to life, but you don't quite know how to communicate about it yet, you don't have um this idea of who your audience is, or maybe you have an idea, but it's not clear and you don't know how to take your work from its current state to being able to reach the right audience. Um, I'm creating a mini course for that. There's currently a wait list up for the creator's map. But otherwise, I have a lot of free content on Substack that I've been writing on. And then with Craft and being right now, again, our bigger retainers are closed, but I still do smaller branding projects. And I love these projects because they're not full like $5,000 brand strategy sort of projects. They're more so for the person who wants to start and be clear and have consistent visuals so that anyone who comes across their work starts to recognize them and know who they are and what they stand for, so that that's crystal clear. Um, so yeah, it's like a good entry point and accessible pricing is something that I really believe in for the people who are just like me and just wanting to do something on the side or just start somewhere and then hopefully it'll grow if the Lord wills it, right? Like just take the step is what I'm trying to say. Yeah, I love your message of discernment and then collaboration and cooperation with the Holy Spirit. So it's um yeah, I just I just love this whole message that, you know, be as mothers, you know, we yeah, if you're working or if you're working at the home in the home, um, and you feel a call to sort of use your gifts in whatever way you can at the moment, given your situation with your children or what stage of motherhood you're at, um, no, no offering to God is too small, as we have seen, you know, in the Bible, the offering of the the widow, and um and God didn't uh didn't uh God accepted that and actually um treasured it because she gave her all. So whatever, yeah, as you were saying, whatever situation you find yourself in, you're you're not you don't have too much time, um, and you have little sleep, little help, little sleep, but you still want to offer something for God. Um, you know, you yeah, as you said, take that start. Maybe it'll start with journaling. I'll start with prayer and then the journaling, and who knows where that will lead. Um, but yeah, I'm sure Camille can help you out because she has helped me um with the podcast. And I to be honest, I'm still working on um where is it gonna go and still praying about it because yeah, every podcast I really have to pray about it because I I hate being on camera video. It was my worst subject in journalism school broadcast journalism. I loved radio because there was no video and writing, writing, that's me, that's me, writer. Well, because most most listeners were audio anyway. But yes, that's true. But my husband's like, you gotta go on YouTube. So I'm like, okay. But anyway, I also listen to, yeah, that's also part of the discernment, is some um my husband prays a lot. And when he offers me some comment, you know, I I think about it, I discern about it. And, you know, maybe something that's frightful to me is what God is calling me to. Um, just like in the Bible, right? Moses didn't, he he said, No, I can't do it, Lord. I I can't I have a stutter or I can't speak. And God said, Well, you got your brother Aaron. So he still didn't let him, he didn't let him off the hook. He still wanted him to do the task that he had designed him and called him to.

Camille Mendoza: 57:45

So yeah.

Sheila Nonato: 57:46

So if there are some mothers who are a little bit hesitant, um, perhaps Camille might be able to help you. You can reach out to her, um, read her a Substack because, like I said, she has helped me with the concept and the branding, really, because that's yeah, our logo is our our brand at the moment. I probably have to take one of your courses, Camille. But anyway, I'll be on the wait list. But in progress. I'm wondering this time too. It's it's kind of crazy because the entire, like most of my career online has been behind the scenes for large course creators. And I used to think, like, oh, I never want to do that for myself. There's just so much happening at all times on the back end. But I realized that maybe God is calling me into that, but to make it simpler and not so crazy. Like you forget sometimes that when you run your own business, you can choose what you want it to look like. And it doesn't have to be chaotic the way they do things, but it does take, yeah, asking him um what that looks like and taking those steps, right? So yeah, and finally, just I'm reminded of uh so I follow Stephanie Gas, who's a podcast coach, and she had this uh podcast episode, and I think it's a video too, of how to have a business meeting with God. So I feel like, yeah, that's totally central to the podcast that we're doing. And I'm sure it's also in your work as you were, I've been hearing you talk about discernment and prayer, that if you're a Christian entrepreneur, that really is the basis of your business. You have to speak to the Lord um for inspiration and guidance and discernment. And like I said, I do also speak with my husband because we are in this together. And uh and he's also a very prayerful person. And he really the podcast would not have happened without him. I just gotta give a shout out to my husband because you know, I uh I don't often uh praise him enough. I really should. I um I'm working on that. It's one of those, it's one of those wounds from childhood that I have to get over. But anyways, but yeah, I love my husband so much and uh and and yeah, I here's the praise that I wish I had I give you every day. So To my husband, that's a shout-out to my husband. Um, but anyway, yeah, he, you know, we do need those um rocks of faith. And it sounds like also your husband has been there for you during the most difficult, painful time in your life. Um, how how has he been able to also cope with everything? Yeah, I can't tell you how much of a rock he's been. Like, um it's it's funny because when you think craft and being, you think like, oh, this is me and this is my business. But it's it's all of it is also Mike, like, because any meeting that I'm at, for example, right now, the two of them are like at a park so that I can focus. And I'm sure you you know the dance, Sheila. Um, but every single detail, every single meeting, every single new client that I bring on, um he's included in those decisions because they impact him and they impact our family. But he has encouraged me and cheered me on the entire way. And whenever I have doubts about myself, he brings to light all of the strengths that I do have and what I'm called to, and just is always reminding me of of everything that I neglect to see in myself. Um in in regards to coping with everything, it's um it's difficult because we were what do you call it? We both have different moments where we just miss Lilo so much, and we've kind of learned throughout the last two years to bring each other in more and learn about the space that we need to give each other or um how to comfort one another. And I think like as difficult as it is because we both face our individual crosses with it, we also carry that cross together, and I couldn't be more grateful that he's the person that I get to carry this cross with because she um it was always his dream to have a daughter, and Lilo was just like they the two of them were inseparable.

Camille Mendoza: 1:02:35

So it's just I think like watching him go through all of this is in some ways more difficult than going through it on my own because of how much it's hurt.

Sheila Nonato: 1:02:52

But this is the walk, and we are we are growing in on this journey together, um, and just yeah, she's leading the that way for us and and showing us. So I just believe so much that she is praying for us because there's no other way that we would be here right now. Um yeah, so I'm grateful to to her and I'm grateful to Mike big time. Well, thanks be to God, to your husband, and thank you for the courage to tell us this beautiful but difficult story. And as we have gone out of Lent into Easter, you know, we know how yeah, how difficult the cross can be. But Jesus promised a resurrection. And um and yeah, I have two babies in heaven. I unfortunately have not met them, but one day, as you were saying about the path to holiness, one day I'd like to also meet them. Um and yeah, we're we're really on different paths, but we're carrying our own, yeah, our crosses. But Jesus is the one Lord who um who is there for us. And I guess also Mother Mary, who had to stand there at the foot of the cross and had to bear all of that. And I guess um, I think somebody was telling me she was really strong, you know. They people can disparage Mother Mary, but um she was strong because I can only imagine, you know, my child gets hurt, I really would rather not see it. Or if she's gone through surgery, it's difficult to watch, you know. I I've had my child do that twice at sick kids, and it was the most painful. Like I I mean, not physically, but like emotionally. I wish I went through the surgery. But Mother Mary decided not to run away or hide. She was there watching the horrific things that happened to her son. So we I guess sometimes I'm comforted, or a lot of times I'm comforted by her strength too. And I'm inspired by your strength as well. So thank you for sharing that story. Um, was there anything else? I think that it like you sharing that, it just showcases like the beauty of our faith and its ability to go into the hard places and still give us the hope to believe. Like, I can't think of how anyone else in the world who doesn't know God um how they do it. Because I yeah, I just remember growing up and I'd see like the Pietra and um different visuals of Mother Mary and Jesus and her being present and watching her son go through that suffering. And I I just never resonated with it. And I was like, why? Like, why would you depict this? Why I I didn't understand, um, but having gone through what we've gone through, I just think now how important that is because everyone, everyone is going through something and they need hope. Um, and so if you were able to be someone walking anything, walking through that with them, even if it's something that you've never experienced yet. Um, or even like the people who reached out to us as we've been going through this, they've never gone through this specific instance. Thanks be to God, they haven't. Um, but through their prayers, through them thinking about us and checking in, and it's it's just made it not so much lighter, but to to have a companion or companions with us, um, it does help. And so, yeah, I I just think about that. Beautiful, and um, and yeah, I I wish you a blessed Mother's Day. You too, thank you. I wish I pray for all the mothers who are going through something or have experienced the loss of a child or a baby, and it's gonna be a hard Mother's Day. And I I'm praying for you. Um, and again, Camille, thank you for coming and sharing your story and sharing your art and your talents, um, because it's truly a gift for us to have that artwork that you did. Um, and thank you, thank you so much again. And for he for answering God's call. That's um, you know, that's difficult to do actually, because we that means we have to be humble before the Lord and we have to put God's will in front of our own. So that's people think that's not that's not uh hard, but it is because we have to fight with our own will, right? And our own desires. So thank you as well. I thank you so much. I'm really so blessed to have met you over the internet, but one day, God willing. I mean, we're in the same country. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. So um, yeah, thank you again, Camille. Have a blessed day and thank you to your husband uh for uh taking the time to let you do this interview. So, and I do pray that you have a blessed, blessed Mother's Day with your family. Thank you, Sheila. I'll be appreciated. Thank you, Camille. Thank you so much. God bless. God bless. Take care. Bye. Let the little children come to me, Jesus said in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 19, verse 14. On Lilo's heaven day, she must have been smiling so widely and beautifully as nearly 1,000 people attended her funeral vigil and viewing.

Co-Host: 1:08:56

She knew that Jesus was in the Eucharist. And we see in this picture how she is in awe of being in his presence.

Sheila Nonato: 1:09:09

Thank you, Camille, for sharing this very personal story of your daughter, one of Heaven's youngest saints. Saint Lilo, pray for us and give us the heart for Christ that you had.

Co-Host: 1:09:25

In the next episode, we look to Lily Wilson. Listen to her story. She is the owner and founder of Veils by Lily.

Sheila Nonato: 1:09:37

How did Lily navigate her postpartum struggles? And how did God turn that into a blessing? Stay tuned, friends, and have a blessed, blessed Thanksgiving to our American sisters and brothers, and have a safe weekend. God bless you, and until next time, thank you so much for spending some time with us. God bless.

Co-Host: 1:10:34

And be blessed together.