Carol Elizabeth (00:01):

This is why our sisters are struggling because we're told we're amazing when we're fit and we're not doing a good enough job of telling people they're amazing. Like today in January when they're at the gym and they have 60 pounds to lose, they're they're more amazing.

Michelle MacDonald (00:27):

I've had the opportunity to watch Carol Elizabeth transform her life through incredible challenges, including a cancer diagnosis, losing touch with herself as a fitness icon and redefining her sense of purpose. Today she's going to share her inspiring story. It's a story that's a testament to the power of reframing obstacles, embracing joy and silencing the inner critic to create lasting personal transformation and give profound lessons along the way. Carol Elizabeth, welcome to the podcast.

Carol Elizabeth (01:00):

How fun is this? Oh my gosh, it is an absolute honor to be here with you today. Thank you.

Michelle MacDonald (01:06):

Your journey is so incredibly inspiring, and sadly, I know so many women that have been battling breast cancer. It's still very much out there. I'd love if you could share a powerful moment from your breast cancer experience that helped to shift your perspective on life.

Carol Elizabeth (01:29):

And you know what? I'll actually start with that simple word of challenge of breast cancer. And when I was first diagnosed, and it was in my world, I used that word with one of my mentors and said, asked how I was, and I said, well, I've got a bit of a challenge. I've got this diagnosis and I'm up for a battle. And he said to me, you don't have a challenge. You're just on a journey. Because the battle words and the challenge words and the FC words have such a low vibration. And I didn't fully understand that. But those words alone have weight. And so that is something that I always talk about. And I always say that all of the life experiences I've had, the highs and the good and the bad, they are all magic. And I called them blessings, blessing lessons. And I know that we have hard times and I send love and light to anybody in the middle of something right now, but I have learned that it is those moments that absolutely shape and transform us.

(02:43):

But in the moment of it, you don't. You go into victim mode. And to be honest, I've always been a pretty positive human. But in that first moment and weeks, I could not get a positive in my brain for anything. It was in May. I didn't think that I would make it to Mother's Day. A couple of weeks later, I didn't think I'd be there for my son's graduation, my daughter's 16th birthday. And it really just had me take a look at all things. And there's a beautiful speaker, Brendan Bouchard, he's got an incredible author. And I had seen him speak and I am knee deep in personal development for 10 years before this happened. And I remember him telling the story of a moment in his life and he came from this moment where he didn't know if he was going to live. And his thoughts were, did I live, did I love and did I matter?

(03:39):

And I remember walking the streets in Canada in May with my dogs. It was raining and everyone was complaining about the rain. And I was sitting here thinking, how many more days am I going to have the ability to have rain on my skin And watching the leaves? People tend to complain about the weather. It's so rainy. And so many of these profound moments to me are just that we are so blessed to experience the rain, the snow, the struggles, the hardships. And so that's of course looking back at it. But in the depth of it, one of my most profound moments all has to do with time and calendar. And if you are somebody listening, I imagine you probably are, if you're in Michelle's world and she's so inspiring and doing lots of things. So maybe you've got all these desires and you've got the calendars and you've got the things that you want to do.

(04:37):

And I had this big wall calendar, giant wall calendar in my mud room. I had all the things that I thought I needed to be happy, a big house with a theater room and a mud room and all this stuff. And I had the big calendar, you have that, and I had all these things, and I remember in the in-between where I was told I had cancer. And then you wait these glorious three, four weeks to find out what's coming. And so I remember standing in front of this calendar and I had meditated and asked cancer, why did it come? And I will say in a minute what I heard then, and I'm looking at this calendar and I instantly had my, what I now know is my higher self or maybe my critic say, how dare you have all of these dates on the calendar that you've just crossed off, not even thinking, and you're looking ahead at July and August and November and December, and when I have this or when I in this, I got this trip and you're looking months ahead for the time you can celebrate.

(05:43):

And I just had this very clear, you are not guaranteed those days and you're just crossing off these other days. They don't exist. And so in that moment, I said, I am never going to cross off a day on a calendar again. When I had meditated, I had heard find more joy, and I said, I'm already happy. I'm happy. I'm an entrepreneur. I have a great life. And then I realized there's a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is a lot of the things you get and the goals that you achieve, but joy is the little moments. Me having this conversation with you thinking, who would've thunk it? Extreme couture 2010, who would've thunk it? And I have goosebumps from the joy that gives me. And so I decided I was going to circle and look for the joy in every day. And I want to look at calendars for as many days as I get to and see circles of joy. And I made it into a tattoo to remind me that really in the midst of all the things we can find joy in anything. And that has just been something that's become the foundation of everything that I do. So that would be my number one lesson really to that.

Michelle MacDonald (06:56):

I was researching for an article and I came across this wonderful statement, and I'm sure you've heard it before. It's called Post-Traumatic Growth, and we all hear of post-traumatic stress disorder. But it was the first time I've heard this phenomenon that I see, and I talk a bit in my coaching lessons that I'm sure you do too, where you'll always find somebody who has it harder than you, worse than you, that's going through something difficult. And they're so joyful they've been able to leverage that into their current success in higher vibration. And I feel like that's a little bit of what you went through. You were able to leverage that cancer diagnosis and really catapult yourself under growth. And what's interesting about the studies they're doing with PTG is that optimism is one of the, it's an observational study, but that optimism, people that are deeply optimistic before the trauma tend to have that PTG experience versus PTSD.

(07:57):

And I think that's what you're saying when you say, I was happy and I'm a doer and I'm positive and I tend to frame things well, but you were able to shift it just that little bit similar to what Bouchard said, where let's really get a bit grainier and maybe a little bit more altruistic about why I'm here on earth now. And I think I'd love for you to talk about that just a little bit more. And maybe you're you three. I love that the inner critic, the inner coach and the inner guide hit us with your knowledge, hit us.

Carol Elizabeth (08:27):

Yeah, I love it. Well, I think that is absolute fact, and I think that I know that we are inner critic, so I've made this the U three framework, which is really all of the levels of us. We probably, some of us have 25 people inside of our heads, but I've really broken it down into three, and many of you have probably heard this before. What I've certainly learned is that most of the things that I live now, I heard over and over and over again, and sometimes when you hear it again at a different time, you're like, okay, let me maybe take notice of that. And so that inner critic is that voice in our head that tells us, we're too old, we're too young, we're too fat, we're too skinny. We don't know enough. We need to look like this. We need to be this.

(09:14):

We need to have the credentials, all the things. And that is just our programming. That is just what we still have. As much as we've advanced in the world, we still have the brain that was designed as cave person and it's keeping us safe from the tigers and all of that stuff. And so that inner critic in you is the one saying you can't do this. And so when you start to become aware of that, the inner critic is the one saying and said to me, oh my gosh, am I going to make it to Mother's Day? The inner critic said, what are you going to look like bald? The inner critic said, all you see is everything of the beautiful souls who didn't make it. And then I understood enough because of my foundation that I could see whatever I needed to see. We get proof for everything that we seek.

(10:05):

And so what I've learned is that while most of us default to the inner critic always, and then you become aware, you are not your thoughts, you're the thinker of your thoughts. And so when I really understood that and I understood, if you and I were having a conversation, Michelle, and you told me that you were diagnosed and you were scared as a friend, as a guide, as a sister, I would have something pretty good to say to you, maybe not provocative or profound, but I might say I would for sure say, let's take it one day at a time. I know some great people who have survived. It's going to be okay. And so we all have that ability. We do it to everybody. Have you ever said, I should take my own advice? That's because you are your own inner coach. And then the next level is really that guide, that sage, that especially those of us that are in our vintage years, over 40, over 50, over 60, over a hundred.

(11:02):

We have so much wisdom and this time of our life, we get to be that guide that knows what really matters and what doesn't really matter. And so I really just tapped into being my own coach more than anything and really guarding what was around me. And if anybody would come up to me and say, first off, it starts with your face, right? Somebody's face like, oh, I heard. And then they'd say, my aunt and I would say, Hey, with all due respect, unless this story ends with she's got super fantastic boob skis now I don't want to hear it. And so we also have to take very secure steps in our own boundaries of not only our own thoughts, but the conversations we have. And so the cancer diagnosis and cancer journey really parallels everything in light, the fitness journey, entrepreneur journey, relationship journey. And when you realize that and you can say, okay, I call her crusty Carroll. She looks like the wicked witch from Snow White. She's like, I literally talk to myself all the time now because when I'm feeling triggered or angry about anything, I just recognize, okay, that's crusty Carroll. Thanks for your input. Now I let my coach and my guide lead the way. So that framework, when you work on just reps in the gym and just performing your Romanian deadlifts, it takes work to perfect it and to have it come and become your identity.

Michelle MacDonald (12:38):

I love that.

(12:39):

So I'm going to reframe that reframe. So for those of you that are listening, so number one, we have this idea and we can identify with absolutely of this inner critic that's really operating from a place of trying to protect you, trying to prevent something bad happening to you. It's when we play safe, it's when we play small known devils better than the devil that we don't know. And we all know, I was listening to Ed Mylet, he had a podcast called New Level New Devil. So, hey, we know this space. Let's stay here so we can recognize that. And you are like, you must be the 20th gal I have talked to that has had tremendous success overcoming challenges or whatever word you want to use for them in life, who talks about being very crystal clear, identifying, even naming that inner critic. I don't have a name yet for my inner critic, but everyone has a name. I think Brittany Carboni was like Sally. She had her Sally on her shoulder. I'm like, thanks, Sally.

(13:41):

Tony Robbins talks about emotions being action signals. So we want to pay attention. We want to listen like, oh, okay. But what we do with that information is less reactionary, less knee-jerk and more enlightened. So we've got this inner critic, then we have the inner coach, and that's that persona that is out there being a great friend to other people, giving great advice, helping people get through the hard parts and looking for that solution, being the problem solver. So we've got that inner coach and you tapped into her more, and you've always had an inner coach. You've been doing mindset coaching forever. And ever since I've known you, you're that stalwart, happy, let's figure this out together, kind of a person. But you really had to tap into that and pour into that during this time of your life. And then this guide, which is, I love that it's beautiful, that one of the gifts of being in this stage of life is we have some wisdom and we can trust that wisdom, not just to get through this moment, but to be a little bit higher, looking out over everything and making sure we're truly in alignment with our north star, our core beliefs, how we want to leave the world.

(14:53):

So we've got these three things, critic, coach, guide, i,

Carol Elizabeth (14:57):

A plus student

Michelle MacDonald (14:58):

Kind of get it right. Good. I was working on my active listening skills after you went through this period of time and we're so blessed that you're here on the other side with us where in this piece, because when I got to know you again, you had reached out for coaching and you were not recognizable to me. Really. It was like, where's Carol? What happened to what? And then I, oh, breast cancer. Okay, got it. And you had said me, we were chatting earlier and you had mentioned that you kind of went from looking at all those Xes on your calendar and being that go-getter, doing it all, being super organized, having the things, and then you swung in search of joy, you swung to the other side of the spectrum, like, woo, let's, let's go. So talk a little bit about that.

Carol Elizabeth (15:49):

Yeah, I think that's so important. And I realized that my journey was meant to be my journey from fit. I say there's fit Carol before cancer and Fit Carol for after Cancer, and the only thing that's different is what nobody can see because it's remarkable to me at 54 still how I look compared to in my forties, I feel I look a thousand percent better. And I thought I was super dope back then, and it's a spirit, it's an energy thing. And so one of the main things, I had spent so much time competing and fitness coaching and all of that for my forties that when I got in and I've gone through divorce, I have three kids, and so I had to create incomes for myself. So I really swung into that, make money, do that kind of stuff. And so as happens, you lose your priorities.

(16:46):

And I also kind of got to be honest, as I started getting into mindset coaching and developing and speaking with these really what I believe, great messages, time after time, people would come up to me after stage and say, oh my God, I love your body. Oh my God, your shoulders. And I'm like, I just said something really deep. And so subconsciously, I think the first little extra weight gain was because I wanted people to see me. I didn't want them to see my body. I wanted them to hear what I had to say subconsciously looking back on that. And so then I also, when I was diagnosed with cancer, the first thoughts I had was, who cares how I look? Who cares what abs I have? Who cares what the number on the scale is? I'm just happy to be alive. Now I realized that was my inner critic talking.

(17:33):

And so of course my body went through things, and of course I've was on estrogen blocker. And of course there was some things that happened. And then we have what I call the panini years, those twenty twenty, twenty twenty two, and life happened. And so then when I kept trying to get back, and I just want you to all remember for a decade, I was a fitness coach. I knew what Michelle knows, and I taught women that. So I know what to do, and I would keep going to the gym and I would default to the old way. I knew chicken and rice and asparagus. And I got, okay, let me go to the stepmill five days a week. Let me get level 12. Let me eat just bland and blah. Let me get rid of 15, 20 pounds. I'll get the momentum back and then I'll be back.

(18:21):

And I did that over and over again for about five years. And then I just started tapping more into what made me happy. That was remembering the joy. When was I firing at all cylinders? What wait made my soul happy, not people telling me I was great. Not titles and trophies, not any of that stuff, but when was I? And I was like, it was the years I was strutting. And I'm a girl who loves a hoochie costume. And even though technically my body was not back in the day bikini theme wear, girl, I didn't care. I fricking loved it. And I had a flashback photo pop up, and this is why I know that the universe has my back Gus God universe source, because I had a flashback photo of me strutting on a stage in a costume. And my guide who I tune into now always, she was like, do that.

(19:14):

And just by coincidence, this pop-up of this show from FMG in Mexico in November pops up and I love Mexico. And I didn't even know it was you guys then, which is even more magical. And I'm like, I'm going to do that. I don't care what I look like, I'm going to strut. And that brought me to you and JJ and the show, which I was just going to do the transformation I say to women all the time, now, I didn't set out to have the body I'm living. I didn't know it was still there. I would've strutted in the same photo I gave you at day one. You wouldn't have let me probably, but I still would've. I was so proud of me. I just was proud. And to be able to stand on that stage in spite of everything and breast cancer is just one of the beautiful things I've been going through.

(20:03):

And so it was all for that. But what I sat in for all those years was this is menopause body. This is a perimenopause body. This is breast cancer body. And my inner guide for sure also had me take so many photos at that time. You've seen them. I literally took quarter turn photos in the squishiest, most deliciousness, extraness I've ever been quarter turn. Wow. Most people are not taking photos. Something in me new. This is going to be a good story one day. And so while I was living in menopause and then I was listening to the internet and it's menopause and it's perimenopause, I was like, that's what it is. And you get in chat rooms, it's menopause, and all your friends are like, it's menopause. It sucks. It sucks. And then my guide also said, hold up a second, maybe, maybe. Who knows?

(20:54):

Maybe. But what does a person, that person that you were, so you can't say you don't know. And I'm saying this to all of you listening, because some of you have never experienced it. So we can stay in that I know what to do, and I didn't do it. I was living in this, oh, it's this world. But then I said, what are things that people do and that you did? And it is the weight training and eating protein and the steps. And I had it pretty good. So I also then my inner critic is like, you eat a lot of protein. You have two shakes a day. You eat a big meal, you walk a lot, you never stop. You go to the gym. And then my guide said, honey, let's pay attention. When you go to the gym, you're going with a friend.

(21:39):

You're chatty, chatty, chatty. You're like, bicep curling a pencil. Are you really better? That's not resistance trading. And okay, let's start tracking. And so I started to pay attention to the steps. I was maybe I was getting 5,000 a lot more than most average, but not the 10,000 or so that you hear starting to track protein. Okay, not really there. And the gym, what do we do? And so when I reached out and I got you and you taught me macros, because truth be told, I watched you do macros all these years. And I was like, I don't know what this girl, she must have all the time on her hands. I can't do macros. She must have her and JJ just hanging out on the beach. She can do macros all day. And I said that forever. And so when I got to get into macros, I was like, oh my God, this is driving me crazy.

(22:32):

But then I was like, whoa, okay, so yeah, you're not eating fat, you're getting a little protein, but you're not getting what you should be. Boy, you're not eating enough carbs. You're literally in keto world because you think that's what you need to be doing. And I can see why all these healthy things that you're eating have you totally off balance. And so I really just said, okay, how about I do the things that are required to be a strong human? That's what I changed. I don't care what I look like. I'm not here to be in magazines, but if I want to be, and I will be a beautifully strong 90, 95, a hundred year old and play with my future grandchildren or go to Europe at 85, I want to be able to carry my backpack. I want to be able to lift those grandkids up and put 'em in their car seat. And if that means lift some fricking heavy weights, pay attention to your food and get some steps in, then that's why I'm going to go. And that's what changed. And so the transformation of me taking photos every day and writing the numbers down every day, I have it there. This is where I took a photo every day.

(23:39):

All I did was listen to what you said to do. I got to take my brain out of it. And one day I looked in the mirror and went, ha, what you. And it's because I didn't fixate on changing my body and I surrendered to the activities that will give you a transformation of a healthy life and the body will follow that when you surrender.

Michelle MacDonald (24:04):

Yeah, I'm so glad. There's two things that come to mind. One is the importance of really betting on yourself. And we talked about this earlier off camera, about all of the, I mean, you and I have invested in continuing to invest so much in our own growth. You've been on the personal growth journey for over a decade. So have I taking a myriad of courses, not just with mindset, but also other more technical courses. It's just grow, grow, grow. And that's one of the things that we connote with youth versus age youth is in a state of learning and becoming and growing. So we've got to keep nurturing that.

(24:45):

And guys, if you're looking for some great mindset coaching, I know Carol, you're busy, but check her out because she is on fire and just has something so unique to offer. And then the other piece is that the reframe is so crucial, and we were talking about that so much. I want you to explain a little bit your reframe game because being able to assess a circumstance that you're in and then shift your focus to get a different emotion, a different action, a different outcome, that is so key. And I love how you say, I talk about this all the time with my guests, but I love how you talk about it.

Carol Elizabeth (25:27):

Great. What I love the most about any transformation, and I realize I'm obsessed with change in transformation. I've done it physically now a few times. I've done it financially, I've done it emotionally. And when I started to hear about this concept from the very first time from Tony Robbins 15 years ago when I was seeking the body transformation to entrepreneur coaching, and I was like, wait a minute. All these coaches and all these different containers speaking about different topics are all saying this thing. And so I really started to take heat of it. And it is just what you're saying, I call it the reframe game because that's more fun than C-T-F-A-R, but the C-T-F-A-R cycle of growth is what it's been called as well. And I'm just giving my version of we are all just sharing our versions of the things we learned, and you nailed it.

(26:26):

The C, that circumstance is just what the item is without emotion attached. So I'm 165 pounds, no emotion. I have $2 in the bank account, no emotion. I live in Toronto, Canada. That's it is. It's just the fact with no emotion. I know some of the ladies and gentlemen listening are like, what? No, you instantly go to the next step. And so the feeling is the secret energetics, law of attraction, however you want to call it, I bet my life on that, that you get what you are, not what you want. And so that all stems from our thoughts and our feelings. Feelings are the frequency. And so if we have the number on the scale, let's just use that 1 65 and our brain says whatever it's saying, oh my gosh,

Michelle MacDonald (27:19):

We have a judgment.

Carol Elizabeth (27:20):

We have a judgment. And so the thoughts, and then we feel horrible. And then when we feel horrible, we don't run to the gym and start counting macros. We put on a new TV series and ask the world what the next hot Netflix series is, and we eat a bunch of Eggos. That's what I love to eat. And we then get on the scale in a day or a week and it's up and we say, see, and the cycle continues. And so when you know that, then we have the circumstance, the number on the scale, and then with all our might we work on what is a thought that I can have that gives me a better feeling? And affirmations and those kinds of things are great, but if we're like, I am fit and skinny, your inner self is like, no, you're not. And so the next thought gets to be just what's the next best thought you can have?

(28:16):

So does it get to be, what am I going to learn from this 1 65? Or what a great starting point, or this is going to be a great transformation, or here's the thing I know about life. You either go one way or the other. So if somewhere you don't want to be, you get to change that. But it starts with our thoughts. So then we change the thought we have about that number. So then we might have just a little tiny bit more hope and we have a little bit more hope. Then we take a little bit of an action. Now we're paying attention to our steps, or we drink a little bit more water, or we meet a friend and we say, let's not sit at a coffee shop. Let's go for a walk. So now you've taken an action, and when you can couple those up more, then it's the actions that create the results that then you get proof.

(29:01):

So now you're not feeling so bad about that number, and it just continues to cycle. And that just goes with everything. So literally it still, when something comes up and I start spinning, I grab a piece of paper and I write a circumstance. So whatever that thing is, and then I write what I'm thinking and I write what I'm feeling and I get it out because I feel lots of us are scared to get it out. But if it's in your head, it just festers. So just get it out, write it out, rumple it up, throw it away, and write what's the next best thought you can have? What's the next best feeling? Because you will get proof for what you think and what you feel. So I mean, if there's one thing you learned from me that, and doing it, not just listening to it, doing it action, I would look at the gym, but I wouldn't go to the gym.

(29:49):

I would watch people do macros, but I wouldn't do macros. And so we have to do the things to get the results, but the reframe game over and over and over and over again. And I love that so many people I work with or after I've worked with them, they send me a message. I just did the reframe. I just did a reframe. Very simple it seems, and this Michelle, it's these things that seem so simple that we brush them off as like, no, I really need to know something to do. It's this. It's being willing to take ownership, that we get to control our life, and truly we have controlled our life. And so when we are willing to take responsibility of it and look at the way we think and who we're around and what we feel, it's just wide open. But it's being willing to be aware of it and make the changes within yourself and not look at somebody else to do something for us.

Michelle MacDonald (30:45):

I love that. This reminds me of James, clear, right? You're talking about very, very small action steps starting with creating a space really between the circumstance in you. Whereas normally something happens and we go right to our emotions and we identify with those emotions. And usually if you're in that inner critic mode, if I'm going to avoid your terminology, if we're in that inner critic mode, we're just kicking ourselves on the floor. But instead what you're suggesting is something so simple, just recognize the event, the circumstance for what it is, name it. If you want to scribble down your knee jerk feelings, if it's the fear, the anxiety, the anger, the frustration, write that down and then reframe it. Move on. Yeah, reframe it. Take a deep breath and exercise radical ownership that you can narrate a different meaning and one that's going to bring you much more joy, much more happiness.

(31:53):

What's that next one thing that you can do that's going to take you in the direction you truly want to go in? And that's where the event, and then the knee-jerk feeling becomes an action signal, but a different action signal. So instead of going and soothing or running away from the emotion, you're actually going through it and you have to go through it, the messy middle to become that future version of yourself. Which brings me the last thing I want to talk about with you, which is this beautiful idea of finding the beauty and the becoming, because you said something about your journey from Fit Carol to breast cancer, Carol, to not fit Carol, to fit Carol again. And I think you were talking to another woman and she had something kind of like, oh, so you weren't happy back then when you weren't fit, and your response was, no, I was absolutely happy. I loved myself, but I needed to make a

Carol Elizabeth (32:52):

Shift. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, it's been so cool to witness a couple of things, and I know it's just another part of my mission to bear witness to how other women perceive you as you get fit. And suddenly I was becoming so amazing, and I just was so like, I've been amazing. What do you mean I'm amazing the whole time? Why? But I know it's just so much deeper. But this one particular woman had talked about working with me, and she said, I'm going to tell you something. I believe you can take it. She said, I met you on a panel. You were speaking and you had all this energy and this zest, but yet you were chunky. And I thought to myself, if this woman can be chunky and still be happy, then what's stopping me? And it was so beautiful to hear. That's what I'm trying to get across more than anything, is that there was times before cancer for sure, that I would look at old photos.

(33:57):

And actually my inner critic was so strong. There was a time when, to be honest, I was making fun of in my soul fitness people not making fun of, but I was judging and I was like, oh, taking another photo. A lot of the things, I'm very honest and open and raw and real. So I call it like it is, I talk to myself through my BS. And so throughout the journey, obviously happy to be alive. And so when I started this and why the transformation seemed to happen so fast at 35 pounds in 13, 14 weeks, and just revisiting all this muscle that had been there was because I loved myself. I would look at my belly fat and this is work, ladies, I understand it. This is the reframe. This is the over and over again. I would grab my belly and just be like, you're so cute.

(34:56):

You had so much bread and you enjoyed all that. And I loved myself. I really did. Which is the biggest journey because when I started fitness, I didn't love myself and I thought that happiness was found in a fit body, and then I got a fit body and I still wasn't happy. And you and I both know, and I used to say, if you think happiness isn't a fit body head to a lot of these fitness shows, not the FMG, it's a great Met Federation and you will find some of the most unhappy humans because they're striving for something that they haven't found within. And so I was happy and joyful because I was, and then I recognized that I was not honoring this body that survived, and I was not honoring future Carol because I was drinking wine every night and I was not paying attention to my food.

(35:50):

And I am a responsible human, and we've got information there and there's information overload. And that's why the other thing I recognized is that I didn't have a coach. And anytime I don't have somebody that I respect that I can say my whatever to, and he or she will say, blah, and it'll be the truth. And I'll be like, oh, yeah. So we all need somebody. I hadn't had one in business for a long time, and I've got one there again. And I tell people all the time, I know what you're telling me to do, but you hold me to a higher standard than my default setting. And because I know you and you're my age and you live it, I can't say you don't know. And so having a coach mentor guide of ourselves is one thing, but me being my own coach also let me off the hook.

(36:44):

Let's be gentler. Let's just chill. And that's great. But you know what? In all honesty, I still wanted to feel fricking sexy, and I struggled in my closet and I love dressing up like funky. And for four years, I put on the whatevers and the clothes, and I look back at pictures too, and I'm like, who? What was that? Who was that? And it's okay. Every version of us is an important version of us. And it doesn't mean that fit versions of us are better, but when you take care of yourself, all that whole holistic, you got to love your soul. You got to love your spirit. You got to find joy in the journey because if you think dropping the weight will make you happy and you don't do the inner work, you will drop the weight, but it will never stay there. It won't be your identity. You'll be seeking other people telling you you're great. And when they don't, you feel not good enough. And so how about you be your own cheerleader and you tell yourself every day that you're great and you tell yourself every day that you're happy to be alive, and you do the things that somebody that's happy to be alive does. And the side effect will blow your mind of the physical results, but they won't come when you expect them to make you happy.

Michelle MacDonald (37:57):

Yeah, that's so incredibly powerful. One of the things I say to my clients that are struggling with that happiness piece and the finding the beauty and the becoming is that you cannot beat yourself over the finish line and expect a championship outcome. And I mean that championship abundance in your personal life, you have to learn how to love yourself in each version of yourself, but has to show up and do her part in that timeline. That is your story. You don't get to be here without her.

Carol Elizabeth (38:30):

And I see why it's hard though, and that's what was so interesting for me to witness this and everybody constantly saying, you're amazing. You're amazing. And I was like, this is why our sisters are struggling because we're told we're amazing when we're fit, and we're not doing a good enough job of telling people they're amazing. Like today in January when they're at the gym and they have 60 pounds to lose, they're more amazing. They don't want to be there at all. So if you're listening to this, just ask yourself, how can you be part of me included, helping women see that they're amazing regardless of accomplishments we are, instead of seeking that, because that's what we think. That's why our brains we're just battling all these things.

Michelle MacDonald (39:19):

Yeah, yeah. It's joining a different choir, and that's something that's so important to me. It's one of the missions. I have two missions. One, to change the narrative really about not, I used to say it was about changing the narrative around how women age, but I've adjusted it. It's really changing the narrative about what it means to be in a female body, right? A biological female body, what that means, and to change that. And then the other one is changing the narrative about what it means to be a woman and western society and just stepping away from a lot of those old, tired, outdated, mean girls narratives that women can't fix each other's crowns and truly support each other in all of that, really changed that. So that's like a bygone era that no longer exists. And at this time of year, it's a great way to end the conversation too.

(40:16):

At this time of year, those of us that already are very much in our journey, and maybe we're well on our way to being that fit person that we want to be, and which is one of the best gifts you can give to your future self, right? It's like be in it for the health guys. Be in it to have the energy to give to your kids and your grandkids and to stay independent, all of that. But to be that person in the gym that goes up to somebody that maybe you've seen them for a couple of weeks training and you just let them know, Hey, I see you and you're doing amazing. Keep going. I know I love when I hear that a coach or a trainer is shared, my mom's account to help people get motivated and they don't share it to shame them.

(41:05):

They share it to encourage them, Hey, don't listen to that BS that is over because you're 50 or 60 or 70, or because you've been overweight for the last five, six decades. Anything can change the moment you decide to reframe, to leave that inner critic or put that inner critic in its place. Thank you very much, but really double down on that coach and that wisdom. Give yourself the advice that you would give your best friend and love yourself through every single part of that journey. Thank you so much, Carol, for being on the show. I'm so excited to see what's next for you because I know that you are just exploding right now, and it's great to bear witness to that as a friend and as a coach as well. So thank you so much for being on the show, and I'll see you in True Coach.

Carol Elizabeth (41:58):

Absolutely.

Michelle MacDonald (42:05):

So here are the top three things I got from Carol Elizabeth in this episode. Number one, the power of perspective and language. Carol emphasizes the importance of reframing challenges as part of a journey rather than battles. She highlights how words and perspectives can carry emotional weight and influence our experience. Number two, living in the present and finding joy. She shared a profound realization about valuing the present moment instead of living for future milestones. This is symbolized by her decision to stop crossing off days on her calendar and instead seek joy in everyday moments, which she considers foundational in her mindset and approach to life. Three, inner dialogue and personal transformation. She introduced us to her U three framework, focusing on managing the inner critic, embracing your inner coach and tuning into your inner guide. She underscores the importance of self-awareness, reframing negative thoughts, taking consistent actions to align with one's desired outcomes, emphasizing that transformation begins within. I totally agree with her there. It's by design. That's how to get you stronger and more resilient. Thanks for listening. You can help the podcast get stronger by leaving us a rating and a review. These are incredibly meaningful to us, and please do share this episode with a friend.