Episode 31: Blair Witch was Real

Join Sarah and Christine as they dive deep into their past with hilarious and nostalgic high school stories, discuss the Steelers football game, their love for meditation, and the possible idea of attending a meditation retreat. Along the journey, they touch on personal mental health struggles, the significance of specific songs for fans, and their endearing admiration for Beanie Bishop. Tune in for an entertaining mix of humor, heartfelt memories, and mental wellness insights.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Transcript

Sarah 0:09

Hello and welcome to the Mental Funny Bone, Becoming the Gaster Girls. I'm Sarah.

Chrus 0:15

It scares me every time you just start with it. I think that's why I mess it up every time

Sarah 0:19

I don't understand. So this is what 30, 30 some episodes plus a couple interviews.

Chrus 0:25

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

Sarah 0:26

I'm not exactly sure how you're shocked by it. I guess that's what I'm confused

Chrus 0:31

I don't I don't know. I don't know Anyway, uh, I'm Christine and I don't know anything about psychology other than that one class I had in high school With oh, what was that guy's name? do you remember the psychology teacher's name at the high school?

Sarah 0:47

Why don't, why do I think it was Mr. Hearn?

Chrus 0:49

No, it wasn't Mr.

Sarah 0:50

Cause I, cause that's who I had when I said Placebo and I swear that was psychology class.

Chrus 0:55

it might, it was different. I'm

Sarah 0:57

Or did I make it up? Did I make that up?

Chrus 1:00

That might have been psychology class. I

Sarah 1:02

How did Mr. Hearn teach psychology? I feel like that's not right. I just, Mr. Hearn, I just, He teaches gym, right? No, that was Chucky. That was Amor. I got them confused.

Chrus 1:14

Because they look the same.

Sarah 1:16

I got the, is that what I was doing? That's what I was doing. Mr. Amor. And I almost called him by his first name. And that's not what I'm supposed to call him. Cause I'm a student.

Chrus 1:24

right, and we all remember his first name. This is where we're going to lose a lot of listeners because I feel like he was also beloved by many a child at

Sarah 1:35

I loved him. These are teachers that I love. These are teachers that were great. gym teachers, really? That was my jam.

Chrus 1:42

these are teachers that I didn't appreciate.

Sarah 1:45

I love them. I also like the English teachers. There was, I got along with most of my teachers. There was only like two or three. That one where I went in and we just printed out pictures of the word feces and taped it all over the wall. I don't even remember who was teaching that class or what class that was.

Chrus 2:03

was it art? I feel like you had nine art classes in

Sarah 2:07

Oh, for sure.

Chrus 2:08

and then you took a gym class. And you asked me, should I take calculus? I was like, I don't see how you're ever going to need that.

Sarah 2:15

I don't know why you, why would you? Take that class where you carry that flower baby around all day.

Chrus 2:22

What was that about? I have to disconnect my iPhone from the headset because it's

Sarah 2:27

Oh no.

Chrus 2:28

continue connecting and disconnecting forever.

Sarah 2:31

making bad things happen. okay, so yeah, Mr. Hearn taught psychology, so that, I guess that makes sense. I don't know what Mr. Hearn's degree was in. I don't, Secondary education.

Chrus 2:41

Yeah. Can you still hear me? Cause I think something bad happened.

Sarah 2:44

No, I can still hear you.

Chrus 2:46

All right, fine. technology. Placebo. remember. I was like, and I was so excited to take psychology class. So excited and I thought that the guy who taught it like Was some kind of gypsy magician who could automatically,

Sarah 3:04

This shit we make up. And there's a chance Mr. Hearn didn't even teach it. I made that up. I don't know. I'm fairly certain I've made a lot of shit up

Chrus 3:14

I can't,

Sarah 3:15

a lot of shit.

Chrus 3:17

I was just expecting him to look deep into my soul and understand me as a person in psychology class. And he was like, what do you

Sarah 3:26

Placebo.

Chrus 3:27

He's Gasser, what? and it was, Jenny Steen. Jenny Steen.

Sarah 3:32

Was he A. Ron? Was he that teacher?

Chrus 3:35

He was that teacher. I think he,

Sarah 3:37

D nice!

Chrus 3:38

You done messed up. Jaquelin. Jaquelin. It's the best skit. It's so funny. Immediately, when we hang up, that is, I'm gonna watch it on YouTube.

Sarah 3:49

And it's one of those that I could watch over and over again. If you don't know what we're talking about, just go online and, I don't know, search A RON.

Chrus 3:57

Key and Peele.

Sarah 3:58

You'll find it. You'll find it. And you will thank us for the rest of your life because you'll come back to that skit when you've had a bad day and you will watch that and you will cry because it's so fucking funny.

Chrus 4:11

What's the principal's name? Oh, Shaughnessy?

Sarah 4:14

Yeah, I'm going to have to

Chrus 4:16

I can't!

Sarah 4:16

it because it's super, super fantastic. Anyway. yeah, we're going to talk a little bit about mental health, but we're not professionals.

Chrus 4:23

yeah,

Sarah 4:24

check out the links in our show notes if you need help or, you can, dial 988. There you have it.

Chrus 4:31

sorry. I had to chug some Red Bull. Um

Sarah 4:33

was waiting for her to say

Chrus 4:35

well I stayed up late last night Yes, ma'am.

Sarah 4:38

There are so many things I want to talk about today and nothing did I write down. Go ahead.

Chrus 4:43

you want to talk about this dealer game? Did you want to talk about my renewed passion for stealer football?

Sarah 4:49

Oh, because they're winning. Or just because last night's game was good.

Chrus 4:53

I think last night's game

Sarah 4:55

because you watched it.

Chrus 4:56

That game against the Jets was good. think it's because I haven't been home and when I'm home, I could give, two squirts of piss. About whether or not, like the only time I care is if I'm going to go grocery shopping, because then I'll go during the Steeler

Sarah 5:12

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. I have always been in love with the Steelers. not always, but like in recent years, like after college and no, I think I started liking the Steelers when we were in Arizona

Chrus 5:24

Cause you're not

Sarah 5:25

not that I didn't like them, but I was just never it wasn't like a really big deal until that when we lived in Arizona, that's when I became a true Steelers fan. in recent years, I have loved them for one reason.

Chrus 5:40

What is that reason?

Sarah 5:41

T, J. Watt. Yeah,

Chrus 5:45

he had a very, he had one sack last night. And if you never watched a Steeler football game, based on the commentary of the, yappy people that talk about the football, you would have thought that TJ Wyatt. might've just got done walking on water. his job,

Sarah 6:04

too. He does that too. Shut up. You're ruining it. You're fucking ruining it. He's amazing. Yeah, that's his job. That's his job, but he does it really fucking good.

Chrus 6:13

his job is to sack the quarterback and he only did it once last night.

Sarah 6:18

I'm going to go, but I'm going to take it back. I'm going to take it back because you, The one who needs the continued reassurance that you're doing your job well, let TJ have his moment. But the thing is, he's not just sacking people. he's, it's a work of art. It's a work of fucking art.

Chrus 6:38

Speaking of the Steelers defense, do you know, Beanie, Booger, Beanie Bates, Beanie,

Sarah 6:46

Not until recently.

Chrus 6:48

what is his last name? Because I know it's not Booger.

Sarah 6:50

not a clue.

Chrus 6:51

Beanie Bishop,

Sarah 6:53

Beanie Bishop BB.

Chrus 6:55

I, Beanie Bishop is my favorite tiny little defensive ever,

Sarah 6:59

it up. He's tearing it

Chrus 7:01

ever to walk on a football field. Um,

Sarah 7:03

name's Beanie.

Chrus 7:04

His name is Beanie.

Sarah 7:06

Fuck off. I love him I'd want to fold him up put him in my pocket. Just carry him around with me everywhere

Chrus 7:13

I love him. love, need to

Sarah 7:14

gonna have to Google him and actually see what his face looks like Because sometimes that scares me when I see their actual faces. I'm like,

Chrus 7:21

Oh, you look mean.

Sarah 7:23

exactly what I expected you to look like. That's not what you look like with your helmet on. all I had to type in is Bean and it came right up. Beanie Bishop Jr.

Chrus 7:32

Oh, he's a junior. Tiny little football

Sarah 7:35

he's adorable. He has a smile on his face. His little

Chrus 7:38

So excited to be there.

Sarah 7:39

adorable.

Chrus 7:40

he's so excited. to be there. Um, I need a, Beanie Bates, Beanie Bishop.

Sarah 7:47

Bates.

Chrus 7:48

don't know why he's Beanie Bates. I don't know.

Sarah 7:51

Wonder if I could get a hold of his, what's that person called? Manager. Wonder if Beanie wants to be on our show.

Chrus 7:57

He probably has some mental health things he wants to talk to us about. If we

Sarah 8:02

He's 24 and he's in the NFL. he's, I feel like they should, they all should have some sort of mental,

Chrus 8:08

like he clearly has anxiety that he everybody about, um,

Sarah 8:13

he's gotta share it. Yeah,

Chrus 8:15

yeah, make it happen. If we got Beanie Bishop on this show, I would piss my pants, like literally pee,

Sarah 8:21

And then it, I get, Beanie knows TJ. And I'd like to have TJ and his wife, his cute little wife, who was a professional soccer player,

Chrus 8:30

and all

Sarah 8:31

with us. Yeah, and then we'll just have, we'll have the Watt brothers.

Chrus 8:35

It'll be so fun. That's how we're gonna get. That's how we're gonna get known.

Sarah 8:39

Yeah, For sure.

Chrus 8:40

so let

Sarah 8:41

get, yeah. So anybody out there, our 20 listeners, if anybody knows Beanie, let him know that we'd like to talk to him. He doesn't know how to talk about mental health. If he could just,

Chrus 8:50

could tell us about his struggles walk walking on to the team, I don't know I feel like in my head he just showed up at practice one day and they were like, like on major league where the Wesley Snipes just runs in his jammies. Like I think he did that

Sarah 9:05

Yeah, that's I guarantee that's exactly what happened. Exactly what happened. Oh, I got to turn my

Chrus 9:11

your

Sarah 9:11

My binger cuz that me and my noise aversions drives me insane

Chrus 9:17

So last night during the second half of the sealer game, I shopped for a gold, sweatshirt with play renegade written on it in black letters for

Sarah 9:29

did you see God? I'm sorry. I'm

Chrus 9:31

45 minutes. I could not find one. a, I found a white one with yin's written on it. I found a gold play renegade.

Sarah 9:40

Oh, why do you want a gold one?

Chrus 9:42

Cause I want a gold one.

Sarah 9:44

Oh, we'll see it.

Chrus 9:44

Quit wanting, quit

Sarah 9:46

asshole

Chrus 9:47

what You. want. I can hear You. typing.

Sarah 9:49

tee teee Yeah, because I have these fucking, these talons on my fingers. I can't type. I can't type. And every time my finger hits the keyboard, I Grrr. It's like these talons on a fucking scratch. On a scratch board.

Chrus 10:05

What I did, what I did find last night was a t shirt that, that had the words Dippy Eggs on it.

Sarah 10:13

Oh, I love tippy eggs. I found it right away. I found a t shirt.

Chrus 10:16

Is it gold?

Sarah 10:17

Okay. Yeah, it's gold. It says play renegade and it has the little stealer.

Chrus 10:22

Nope. I don't want the sealer things on it and I don't want a t shirt. I don't know. I just don't.

Sarah 10:27

You don't want a t shirt? What do you want?

Chrus 10:29

No, I want a sweatshirt. It's cold.

Sarah 10:31

god. How about I just get you, get one made for you?

Chrus 10:36

Fine.

Sarah 10:37

a Play Renegade long sleeve t shirt,

Chrus 10:40

Sweatshirt.

Sarah 10:40

I feel like Play Renegade's my thing anyway. I'm the one who's yelling at the Jimmy Buffett ban. To play Renegade in Key West. I don't understand why they wouldn't. The fuck nobody here's Nobody here likes the Steelers.

Chrus 10:54

Why are you looking at me weird? Play Renegade. It's a song by Styx. Shoveling

Sarah 10:59

let me pop another gummy in my mouth and see if that will help.

Chrus 11:02

Styx of them in there. how collectively, as a fanbase, do we decide that we like Renegade the best out of all the songs? Like what happens like is there a DJ

Sarah 11:12

have to look that up. Like how did Renegade become

Chrus 11:15

like is there a DJ at the game and he's nah if we keep playing it They'll get on board. I'm just gonna do it I'm just gonna keep playing it and then like his buddy's like dude They're never gonna you're not gonna be able to bring You're not gonna be able to bring that back. Like when we were in Arizona and we tried to bring Champ back like we were calling everybody chump

Sarah 11:33

Chomp.

Chrus 11:34

we're trying to bring that back. calling

Sarah 11:36

tried to bring so many things back.

Chrus 11:38

Yeah,

Sarah 11:38

so there is a story behind it.

Chrus 11:42

Oh, no. Can you tell it to me concisely?

Sarah 11:45

read it? May

Chrus 11:46

I don't want you to read it I just want you? to tell it,

Sarah 11:49

it starts out with such a great line though. The magic began on January 5th, 2002, during a half time, during a playoff game against Cleveland. The Browns held a 17 7 halftime lead. By the beginning of the second half, they stretched it out to 24 7. The Steelers were lagging. ha. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, their offense. During the commercial break, the crew at Jumbotron made a choice that forever changed Pittsburgh history as the slow, Intro echoed out across the depressed fans. Everyone felt the sense of failure. Even the music controller gave up. Forty five seconds later, the atmosphere changed. The screams of the song gave fans a needed wake up call, and the stadium became alive with excitement. I think we won, is the whole

Chrus 12:41

I feel like that

Sarah 12:42

Oh, this is Tommy Maddox! Talia Maddox is the quarterback.

Chrus 12:46

of course he was. I think this is the game where Myron Cope said fuck on the radio.

Sarah 12:51

Oh, God, I really hope so. Pittsburgh ousted Cleveland in the fourth quarter. The final quarter was capped off with Chris Fatamala. and there you go. that's how it happened. now I have to, now I have to Google, when did Myron Cope say F on the air?

Chrus 13:06

he was talking about a player and he was like, fuck, quad, fuck, quad.

Sarah 13:10

Oh, that's Fatamala. Fuckwad.

Chrus 13:14

I think he went to a Browns player.

Sarah 13:16

Copesay,

Chrus 13:19

quad.

Sarah 13:20

This is going to become our new podcast. It's us just having random discussions and Googling everything.

Chrus 13:25

who knows chat GPT.

Sarah 13:28

Yeah, this is going to be yeah. Nothing came up like instantly. So when Myron Koch told Dan Snyder to stick his head in a Okay, all right, we're done but okay. Yeah, that was here we go. There's your renegade story for the day We have a newfound love of Beanie Bishop.

Chrus 13:48

Love him. Can't get enough Beanie Bishop. Beanie Baby Bishop.

Sarah 13:52

Yeah, I love it. And at one point on The Mannings ESPN Monday night football show, LL Cool J. I think it was the third quarter. LL Cool J was there. he's a Giants fan, whatever. But,

Chrus 14:06

Whatever.

Sarah 14:07

Eli showed him a picture of himself. Eli dressed up like a rapper with like chains. I'm fairly certain that LL Cool J pissed his pants. And how about that movie with LL Cool J and the shark? Remember that in Arizona?

Chrus 14:22

And the, there was a lady, shark brain surgeon.

Sarah 14:26

Yeah, they gave the shark a really smart brain and

Chrus 14:30

Right. Then LL Cool J had to find it and kill it.

Sarah 14:34

right, and he was

Chrus 14:35

was the cook.

Sarah 14:36

There were all sorts of things that just were terribly thought out, but man, L. O. Cool J. He saves everything.

Chrus 14:43

there was a, there, there was also that snake movie with Ice Cube. Do you remember? Anaconda. There's snakes out there. There's snakes out there this big.

Sarah 14:53

Then there's snakes on a plane.

Chrus 14:55

So many

Sarah 14:56

We could just keep going on. What's from the smart shark to the big snake to snakes on a plane?

Chrus 15:02

Samuel L.

Sarah 15:03

motherfucking snakes off of this plane.

Chrus 15:06

I was like, that's not a real movie. Is that an SNL skit? it was a real movie. Okay,

Sarah 15:10

went to see it only because of its name. 100 percent because Samuel L. Jackson was in it and the name of it was Snakes on a Plane.

Chrus 15:18

we got, Again, just to carry on with the stream of consciousness that we have going on here, we, we got a little slap happy at one of the conferences, cause we had been saying hi to people and talking about it all day and around three 30, we started talking about Pulp Fiction and about, Brad and his big brain, sorry. that was work, right? Um, right. So when Samuel Jackson is in the apartment and he and John Travolta are trying to get the money back from the kids and they're like, look at the big brain on Brad. That's what, that's what somebody said to me as I was, giving my, presentation,

Sarah 16:00

big brain on Christine.

Chrus 16:02

right? They were like, first, congratulations. Look at the big brain on you.

Sarah 16:06

Did they follow it up with a Bible verse?

Chrus 16:08

They did Ezekiel 12,

Sarah 16:11

I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger. I sat in my room with that tape, mind you.

Chrus 16:20

going

Sarah 16:20

pretty sure it was a tape. It might've been a CD though. No, it was definitely a tape. Rewinding it to learn that. because I thought it was just a line from a movie.

Chrus 16:29

right? A hundred percent. Right. all So we have this podcast. Guys, where we have an outline for it. That's the same every week

Sarah 16:37

We don't have an outline today, though, and this is what happened.

Chrus 16:39

fan mail is what we do first. So did get some fan mail. we do have mail. Uh, mailed this week, Misty.

Sarah 16:49

huh.

Chrus 16:50

So do you want to tell you, you talk about it? Cause I think you might've read it and I

Sarah 16:54

I had to email Misty a while back. Misty was, one of our earlier emailers. Yay, Misty. and I had referred to her in an episode, and I called her Emily. Which Make sense because Misty found us because of our mutual friend, Emily. So there you have it. So I emailed her to apologize cause I'm an idiot. she emailed back. This has, you could cut this out cause literally I'm telling a story like Noah. It has nothing to do with what, when I'm about to actually talk about. Um, Fuck.

Chrus 17:24

Oh my God. Yeah. Carry a stream. The name of this episode is stream of consciousness. Fever dream. Stop making noises. Stop it. me what this email's about.

Sarah 17:37

Misty wanted to let us know about her second visit to the therapist, which I thought was fantastic. Um, her second visit to the therapist, and I'm not sure how much we talked about this when we talked about Misty's email, but, hold on. My computer's telling me something and I don't know why. Okay. Okay. Misty's sister, died in, domestic violence situation, terrible situation. And anyway, leads us to the story. She was in her second visit to the therapist and therapist said, if your sister was sitting next to you, what would she say about you feeling her death is your fault? Misty immediately answered, That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. To me, it, this immediately made sense. I was like, alright, And the therapist just sits there staring at her in silence. And Misty follows that up with, she was really blunt. She didn't mince any words and the therapist said, Oh wait, are you saying your sister would tell you feeling this way is the stupidest thing she's ever heard?

Chrus 18:36

god.

Sarah 18:37

what she would say. And the therapist was like, Oh my gosh, I thought you were telling me that asking you what she would say was the stupidest thing ever.

Chrus 18:46

Oh no.

Sarah 18:48

Yeah. I thought it was fantastic because I immediately was like, Yeah, that's the sister's response as the blunt sister that I am, that would be my response. So that made sense to me, but I, the therapist was, can you imagine that being the therapist and being like, wow, all right,

Chrus 19:04

guess that's how this is gonna go.

Sarah 19:06

so yeah, I love that. I love that story. And the Missy also followed up. She wanted to let us know that she really enjoys the, enjoys this, enjoys the dry heaving sounds.

Chrus 19:16

Ugh, why?

Sarah 19:16

during BLEH!

Chrus 19:17

There you go. That one's just for you, Misty. Bleh.

Sarah 19:20

Yeah. And she was talking about, Halloween horror nights at, Walt Disney World and there were some visuals and smells and whatnot.

Chrus 19:30

Do you remember when we took you to the haunted house?

Sarah 19:33

Which is what I responded to her. I said, I think this is fantastic because I too am a scaredy cat of all things haunted Halloween shit, which is a huge, not a, not as scary. Like I love Halloween. I love dressing up. I do not. Like haunted houses and I did say in my email back to her that we would share Some of my haunted house stories because this episode will be released on Halloween.

Chrus 19:58

If we're lucky. Um,

Sarah 20:01

it will be a motherfucker. It will be

Chrus 20:03

look at the brain on Sarah,

Sarah 20:05

I will strike down. Okay,

Chrus 20:07

vengeance and furious anger. I feel it.

Sarah 20:10

yes anger.

Chrus 20:11

so let's skip to our growing up Gaster story of the week.

Sarah 20:15

Wait, do we have any more fan mail? I just want to see I feel like that was the only one.

Chrus 20:20

to say to Sarah B slash Sarah K that I thought that I answered her email and when I was looking through the email just now I can see that I, it's a draft. I typed it and then didn't send it.

Sarah 20:33

I love you. I do love you. before we move on, I would like to share that, Heather. S, I think we could say her name, Heather Schaefer, also known as Kyle, Heather Kyle, wherever, however you want to refer to her, informed us about a little

Chrus 20:50

the Tic Tac ing.

Sarah 20:52

There were buckets involved and get this shit. I feel like we didn't really know exactly how the corn got into the buckets, but it happened. So that's fine. But. And we'll get back to that. My favorite part of the story of tic tac ing is the fact that they used, they carried the corn around in tube socks. And even better than that, Heather had to clarify that they were clean tube socks.

Chrus 21:21

I, I just love a world where four to seven male and or female, teenagers. Was just roaming the streets after dark,

Sarah 21:34

With tube socks filled with hard corn.

Chrus 21:38

chucking corn from the cornfield at somebody's house. And they weren't happy. Unless someone got pissed off. If they chucked the corn and everyone was like, Meh, tic tackers, meh. But if the front porch lights came on, then it was fun. the terrifying part of it was the fun part. I just love, I love that there is a, that there is a world where someone's mom had the buckets ready for the corn.

Sarah 22:07

And I'm mad that he didn't experience this. Cause I really I would like to experience this in our early twenties with you, because I feel like once that's the time in my life where I feel like I would have definitely, I'd probably do it now, but I would definitely have. I would have waited until there's just like a fistful of corn left in that tube sock and then beat you over the head with it.

Chrus 22:31

you woulda homie the clowned me. square in the back of the head.

Sarah 22:35

That's exactly this is what I thought of as we talked about it. Yeah. but so I asked Heather about getting the hard corn off the cob because I still am challenged to understand how this is happening. And Heather's dad helped her with that and let her know that it was a challenge. He's, I don't think we're really sure how it happened, but it was definitely a challenge.

Chrus 22:55

pull it off.

Sarah 22:56

But when you do this, I mean it's a round, it is a round, like it's not,

Chrus 23:01

But you just got to get like a grip on one of them and then the rest of them kind of chuck off. I bet that's why it would hurt your thumb because you're like, Pulling them

Sarah 23:09

oh, yeah, he said his thumbs hurt.

Chrus 23:11

right because you're trying to get your thumbs in there to I'm assuming

Sarah 23:15

you get it started, you can get going, but getting it started I think is where I was,

Chrus 23:21

that would have been the bitch of it. Yeah.

Sarah 23:23

Yeah. Okay. All righty. Yeah, so there you go. More, more. Talking about tic tacking. And I did write down, I want to learn the history of tic tacking. Didn't get to that yet. Since Sunday though.

Chrus 23:38

plenty of time I have two other sort of housekeeping announcements. Uh, another episode of bare bones banter. So for of you guys who might not have seen it, as you scrolled past it to get to this episode, we had a chance to sit down with Jesse Pakowski.

Sarah 23:53

There's no k. I mean there's a K at the end.

Chrus 23:56

There's, there is a K.

Sarah 23:57

It's a T, but it's, Jesus, for fuck's sake. Oh, there is a K, there is a K, it's P U T K O S K I, and I said it during the interview and was like, oh, that seems simple enough. But now I,

Chrus 24:12

I Like Kelly, like Kelly Kapowski.

Sarah 24:15

Kapowski, I get where you were going before, okay, but Pakowski,

Chrus 24:20

Whatever. Jessie!

Sarah 24:22

fuck,

Chrus 24:22

you're amazing. You do great work. She is the, area director, for, the Southwestern Pennsylvania chapter of the AFPS. SP.

Sarah 24:33

S P, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention,

Chrus 24:37

Every time I'm going to screw it up every time. Um, but it was a really interesting interview and it was really interesting to, to hear how Jesse got to be involved in that organization and to hear about some of the stuff that they're doing and, um, to carry forward from there. I know that you've talked to, you've talked to them about doing some stuff with, With soccer coaches and at Montour

Sarah 25:02

Yeah, I'm waiting. I'm waiting to hear back. we've, I don't know if I've mentioned it on here, but, locally, we've had a few, student athletes, not in our school district, but neighboring school districts. Die from suicide in the past few weeks. So I reached out to our soccer coaches and asked them if they would be interested in having Jesse and the group come and do a presentation. So it is now in the coach's hands to talk to, the administration. There's a lot of approval shit that has to happen. hopefully I will be getting some word and we'll be able to get Jesse into Montour in some capacity.

Chrus 25:38

that would be amazing. And

Sarah 25:40

our coaches were overwhelmingly. In support of it. So that was, that just made my heart happy.

Chrus 25:48

yeah. And, I think the more we can talk again, the more you talk about it, the less scary it is, the less frequently we have to hear people say Like it's something to be ashamed of or something to be hidden or swept under the rug when that doesn't really help anybody. And big shout out to Jackie Faircloth. bringing a couple of people together. So Jesse and a few of the administration type people at all are Alma mater, Elizabeth So looking forward to seeing more, seeing more good things happen. So if you get a chance to listen to the interview, do it. And, Thanks again to Jesse. Oh, what? Oh, what? No, no. I'm still here. I'm still here. No, no. That'll be great.

Sarah 26:32

Okay, Okay.

Chrus 26:33

I'm

Sarah 26:34

I hope you got me saying, You frozen, girl.

Chrus 26:36

I did. Yeah, that'll all be, it'll all be seamless in there.

Sarah 26:40

Yeah, I can't wait.

Chrus 26:41

so thank you so much, Jesse. I really appreciate you taking the time and talking to us and really appreciate everything that you're doing out in the community. So yay. Thumbs up. Good job. Good job us. also a little bit of housekeeping. I have cleaned up a lot of the, videos on, on YouTube. So if you guys want to go out and check out some of our videos on YouTube, I tried to create a playlist, but I think I only created it for me and not to post on the website. Cause my, my YouTube knowledge isn't that great. So, keep checking back on our YouTube channel because you do have to see the facial expressions that we make.

Sarah 27:24

I feel like it makes it I don't know. I think Noah was annoyed with it just because of the cutting up of it because of

Chrus 27:30

You got to cut out the words. you could still see what we're saying.

Sarah 27:34

yeah, but that's fine. Whatever. check out the YouTubes and I am gonna attempt to create an actual website for us.

Chrus 27:42

it's all happening, folks. It's all happening,

Sarah 27:45

Let's do we're gonna do a newsletter or some shit so we can send you emails that you'll never read.

Chrus 27:50

Oh, won't that be exciting?

Sarah 27:52

I can't wait.

Chrus 27:53

I'm getting

Sarah 27:53

I'm going to put little nuggets of information just to see if people read. I used to do that when I was on the safety committee at Geyer Printing. I was the notes lady because I was the only girl. So of course I was the secretary. and I would write shit in the notes. the one guy, he, we had to do a report cause he cut his hand on the tape measure because he let it slide back across his hand in a manner that he shouldn't have. And I wrote in there, sometimes common sense really helps in this job. Then every once in a while, cause we ate pizza, pizza all the time during these, I would note in between the lines, how many pieces of pizza everybody ate during the meeting just to see if anybody read them. Cause I figured. Somebody's got to read this and come to me and be like, Hey, that's either funny or you're an asshole.

Chrus 28:41

inappropriate.

Sarah 28:43

One. Yeah.

Chrus 28:45

I love that. I can't wait to do that. You can't do that with us, though, because we forget what we say immediately after we close our laptops.

Sarah 28:54

That is true.

Chrus 28:55

On these episodes.

Sarah 28:56

we're not very good at keeping track of what we've talked about. And when we have episodes like this where we have nothing written down, we're gonna do this whole show again next week.

Chrus 29:06

mystery.

Sarah 29:07

We'll actually write it down for next week and then do it all over again.

Chrus 29:11

Remember that Fever Dream episode?

Sarah 29:13

Sheesh.

Chrus 29:14

You're gonna have to be more specific. Okay, so weekly catch up corner, I feel like we just did that. so I'm in Raleigh, again, cause it's, Olivia's last couple of soccer games and I could catch two of them if I came down and stayed.

Sarah 29:27

I love that. I also love that I sent her a little snap this morning to let her know that I loved her and She responded and said it feels weird that you're not here with my mom.

Chrus 29:36

right. It does feel weird and I don't like it.

Sarah 29:38

said, I don't like it I would rather I would very much like to be there

Chrus 29:42

Do you know where we ate on Saturday?

Sarah 29:46

where

Chrus 29:46

We ate at that barbecue place downtown.

Sarah 29:49

oh, yeah the barbecue place after moving that we went to I love that place

Chrus 29:53

thought it was an anomaly. I'm like, I was just really hungry, no

Sarah 29:58

it was I don't think it was I

Chrus 30:00

smokehouse. so if anyone knows those guys that they do some nice barbecue delicious.

Sarah 30:06

and just the amount of food that we got for the price was insane

Chrus 30:11

I've eaten it three times because we got I got burnt ends and I got four pounds of burnt ends, right Homer Simpson good,

Sarah 30:19

a burnt end. I'm now slobbering.

Chrus 30:21

delicious And a quick shout out to Yvonne and Mike for coming to lives game on Saturday

Sarah 30:26

yay

Chrus 30:27

always super fun to hang out with them. Um,

Sarah 30:30

Okay,

Chrus 30:35

but between me and you, Olivia played really well.

Sarah 30:39

then who gives a shit

Chrus 30:40

I was like,

Sarah 30:41

played well, yeah fuck it

Chrus 30:43

I was like,

Sarah 30:44

she was happy with her performance. That's all that matters.

Chrus 30:46

And then she, she was complaining the whole time we were eating about how tired and how sore she was. and I'm like, Oh, that'll be fine. Just come over to, just come over to the Airbnb and we'll watch the World Series. And she texted me immediately after she got back. And she's Hey, I'm going to the club.

Sarah 31:03

Yeah.

Chrus 31:05

I was like,

Sarah 31:06

okay.

Chrus 31:07

what a miracle,

Sarah 31:10

wonderful. Yeah. I had to explain to Owen yesterday, soreness versus actually being injured.

Chrus 31:17

right? Your legs just

Sarah 31:18

did take him to the doctor. he did fall. He did. Or hit his head. Okay, whatever. But

Chrus 31:25

good at parenting.

Sarah 31:26

so I took him to, I had to take him to the doctor cause he wouldn't shut up about it.

Chrus 31:30

Just like the time he broke his thumb.

Sarah 31:32

And I figured this was his head and his neck, so we really needed to get it checked out. So I only waited two days instead of a week

Chrus 31:39

you thumb. I was like, what?

Sarah 31:41

the amount of times that I had to say to the doctor in hindsight, as Owen's telling the story of how he hurt himself. I'm like, in hindsight, maybe we should have gone to children's.

Chrus 31:53

to be fair. To be fair, I still say it now, when I take Olivia to the doctor, she's in her tw like, no, she's 19. But, still, I'm like, I guess we could have approached that, differently.

Sarah 32:05

I mean I don't and then last night he's you know complaining about being his back and this and I was like dude You are sore. We went to the doctor. We had the x rays done. There is like you're good The doctor says you're fine. You were sore. This will happen throughout your life And then I said, it's, think about your dad. He feels like that every day. So anyway, sorry. Go ahead.

Chrus 32:28

Fakir Brown is the player's name that Myron Cope mispronounced.

Sarah 32:33

So if you've been looking for it the whole time, like how did you just find it? Did you text somebody?

Chrus 32:38

No, I just remembered. I was like, what is Freddy Fuqua? And no, cause he's a seventies player. He had the goldfish in the heels of his platform shoes.

Sarah 32:48

I do remember. I remember the story about him. I don't. I don't really remember him.

Chrus 32:53

true story. And I was like, it's not Fuqua, Fakir. And Marron Cope's Fakir?

Sarah 32:59

here?

Chrus 32:59

And he's like, not right.

Sarah 33:01

Is it another tribe? Like the, where the fuck are we tribe?

Chrus 33:04

Kind of, I'm guessing.

Sarah 33:06

We're fuck here.

Chrus 33:08

Oh my god, stop.

Sarah 33:10

Okay.

Chrus 33:11

Stop.

Sarah 33:11

Okay. Okay.

Chrus 33:13

Okay. Now I have the YouTube clip of that, so I will put that in the show notes so everyone can enjoy Myron Cope going, fuck here, Brown. I can't be right.

Sarah 33:23

You need to text it to me. I need to see it.

Chrus 33:26

I will definitely do that to you. do that for you. Not to you. Um,

Sarah 33:31

it's weird.

Chrus 33:33

sorry, I was

Sarah 33:34

you not to do anything to me. Bleh!

Chrus 33:37

Stop gagging. Okay. Growing up Gaster story of the week. So let's talk about the time we took you to a haunted house as an adult.

Sarah 33:46

Yeah, because I feel like there's two Haunted House stories that at least I remember. One is as I say kid, but I was old enough to remember it, so I feel like I was probably too old to be acting the way that I was. And then the adult one. So I will let you tell, though. You tell.

Chrus 34:05

I think the first one we went to a haunted house in Elizabeth, but it was the

Sarah 34:11

hall?

Chrus 34:12

Victory Haunted House. Does that,

Sarah 34:14

remember. It was in one of our local fire hall

Chrus 34:18

right, like an, like an

Sarah 34:20

yeah.

Chrus 34:21

I seem to remember,

Sarah 34:23

I remember only one thing about it.

Chrus 34:26

in the Buena Vista area of Elizabeth.

Sarah 34:29

feel like that's where it was. Yeah.

Chrus 34:30

Buena Vista, if, uh, if you live anywhere else. Um, yeah, I think this was like elementary school because, you were in elementary school for sure. I think I was in junior high because I ran into somebody that I knew and I was mortified because I was with, I I don't think our dad was

Sarah 34:49

remember mommy being there, which is very confusing to me because I can't, they had to, somebody, it had to be a group of us and mommy had to be bribed with cigarettes or something because I cannot imagine, or just getting the fuck out of the house is what she was bribed with actually. She was like, you know what, we're gonna leave Jumbo at home and go to the haunted house.

Chrus 35:10

it it might have been a, PTG activity.

Sarah 35:15

Oh,

Chrus 35:16

Teacher Guild, I believe.

Sarah 35:18

guild?

Chrus 35:19

Guild at uh, St. Michael's. We didn't, the Catholic schools didn't have a PTA, they had a PTG. So I think this was a PTG activity. Oh, I remember. Your mom was real active in it.

Sarah 35:32

she was the bomb.

Chrus 35:34

active in everything. oh, oh, hey, Gaster, your mom's here. I'm like, I know, she always is.

Sarah 35:40

I loved it.

Chrus 35:41

you're just saying that because when she listens, she's gonna like you best.

Sarah 35:45

No, I legit did. I legit do remember, Mami being at everything. Mostly cause I got to leave with her. I didn't have to ride the bus home.

Chrus 35:52

Right. so I think we took you in and you were definitely old enough where you should not have, had a

Sarah 35:59

spastic meltdown.

Chrus 36:00

like toddler temper tantrum in one of the rooms to the point where the people that work there were like eyed staring at you and your mother. I think she had to pick you up and carry you out as like

Sarah 36:12

they shut it down so I could get, to get me the fuck out of there is what they did. They pushed us out of a back door.

Chrus 36:18

in her arms.

Sarah 36:19

I was as tall as mummy at this point probably.

Chrus 36:22

You weighed at least 85 pounds

Sarah 36:26

Yep, and I wasn't having one bit of it.

Chrus 36:29

and I think I had to go with you and I think that's where I saw somebody I knew from junior high

Sarah 36:35

yeah, that was super embarrassing for you. I'm sorry that I ruined your life so many times.

Chrus 36:41

and I'm pretty sure it was a boy that I had a crush on.

Sarah 36:43

guaranteed,

Chrus 36:45

Obviously it would

Sarah 36:46

in all of his mullet tight jean glory.

Chrus 36:50

They were probably acid washed. He out.

Sarah 36:54

Yep. Yep. That's it. That

Chrus 36:56

And then, and then when we were grownups, I know we were grownups because I had already, we had already moved back from Arizona. working, you were working on your degree in earnest.

Sarah 37:06

And being a bartender,

Chrus 37:08

Yeah, right.

Sarah 37:08

best job ever in my whole entire life. Yeah, it's,

Chrus 37:20

beer with us everywhere we go. Because I think we loaded up into somebody's car and he's like, where are we going to put the cooler? I was like, the what?

Sarah 37:28

excuse me.

Chrus 37:29

What are we doing?

Sarah 37:30

in his defense, we were driving to West Virginia.

Chrus 37:33

It is far. I was thirsty. after

Sarah 37:35

longer than 20 minutes.

Chrus 37:37

after he put the cooler in the car, it wasn't like I was like, no, I'm not going to have

Sarah 37:42

no. yeah.

Chrus 37:44

Nobody else in the car was like, no, we're good. We're not going to drink before we go to the haunted house in, uh, some scary prison in West Virginia that's famous. There it is. That's it. So we go there.

Sarah 37:55

will never forget it. I will never go back. Motherfuckers.

Chrus 37:59

we, we don't realize how scary it's going to be, we get in there and they shove Sarah into a prison cell and the door and then walk away.

Sarah 38:08

Yeah, they shoved us in there and we were each in our own prison cell and they're telling us scary stories and I'm not liking it at all and you're in the cell next to me laughing as I am legit losing my fucking mind.

Chrus 38:21

You're

Sarah 38:21

there was definitely some spirits in there with me. There definitely was not in there alone. I don't give a fuck what anybody says or believes I, somebody was hanging out with me and just. Fucking love and life laughing at me and then they call out numbers and they didn't call out mine.

Chrus 38:37

You and Zach Baggins were in there. Yeah. They called out my mind or popped right open. I walked out. And then we left you.

Sarah 38:43

No, this is where No, my boyfriend at the time left me. You and Kimmy and Dale stuck behind. Don't you remember Kimmy yelling at the guy? I work for an attorney's office. You better open this door now.

Chrus 38:55

we were like, you're okay. You're

Sarah 38:58

legit having a I couldn't breathe.

Chrus 39:00

It's fine. She's fine. She's fine She's having a mental health issue. She's fine.

Sarah 39:07

I was not fine in the slightest. It still makes my hands sweat

Chrus 39:12

Right. Who's, who was your, was it Kokomo? It had to be

Sarah 39:15

I thought Dale was going to beat somebody up

Chrus 39:18

right because that's

Sarah 39:19

would have let him. I would have let him beat somebody up. I don't give a fuck. then we get out of it and they take us through the rest of it. And the rest of it was like a joke. Do you remember that? And like people were popping out and I was like, fuck you. I was just a Helen back. Get the hell out of my way.

Chrus 39:33

I had a panic attack, man. Get your fake chainsaw out of my

Sarah 39:36

you were not scaring me, you six year old douche.

Chrus 39:40

I've written, then we went to the bar after to talk about it. So,

Sarah 39:43

think I might have got drunk.

Chrus 39:45

we were in our twenties. It seemed to be the thing to do

Sarah 39:48

I think it was a Friday. Although Wednesdays were also really good for the getting drunk, too.

Chrus 39:54

today to celebrate

Sarah 39:55

It's Wednesday. Sarah, why are you drunk? It's Wednesday.

Chrus 39:59

I'm a bar.

Sarah 39:59

I'm drunk?

Chrus 40:00

I'm a bartender. Of course I'm drunk on Wednesday.

Sarah 40:03

Oh, shit.

Chrus 40:05

Ridiculous. this reminds me of when we saw the Blair Witch Project.

Sarah 40:11

Oh

Chrus 40:11

you please take us through this story? it's not a Halloween story, But I feel like It is

Sarah 40:18

It is a perfect example of what a puss I am. Cause I would still act the same way today. Cause it is, it was frightening. Okay. now that we know things, but like when we first saw it, I didn't know what Blair Witch, I didn't know anything fucking about it. We walked in. I thought it was just a regular ass fucking movie. I didn't. And then it starts and then there's videos and then there's snot and then there's kids hands and there's what? The fuck is happening. Like it was a lot of scary fucking shit.

Chrus 40:48

I remember sitting in that movie theater looking around What? What? Is this a documentary?

Sarah 40:54

Like you were even freaked out. don't

Chrus 40:57

No, no. Oh,

Sarah 40:58

it was fucking freak. Now, granted, you handle your freaked outness way better than I do, but I was scared to death. I cannot believe I walked out of there with dry pants. I honestly cannot.

Chrus 41:11

right.

Sarah 41:12

it took all three of us a while to recover. We had to go drink after, which I know, okay, just, we were going to do that anyway, but it was a much more intense drinking experience after the Blair Witch

Chrus 41:24

Like, we didn't go to a club. we We had

Sarah 41:27

just had to

Chrus 41:28

take a step back.

Sarah 41:29

drink. And talk about what we just saw and try to process it and then find out it's real.

Chrus 41:36

I'm like, is this,

Sarah 41:36

have. It's real. It's, that really happened. that's legit. Like this fucking happened. So at the time we were living in a tiny apartment, I was sleeping on your couch.

Chrus 41:47

Because it's summertime.

Sarah 41:49

you were in your bedroom with your, your first husband. And, I was sleeping on the couch and I, It was scary out there by myself.

Chrus 41:56

can you let me in? I was like, what? Yeah, come on in, what's up? And then you just crawled in the bed, and you stayed there. And I look at Mike, and Mike looks at me, and I was like, so this is happening? Not in

Sarah 42:09

was 21.

Chrus 42:10

in the good way,

Sarah 42:11

Not the way you were hoping.

Chrus 42:13

right? Not the way you've been thinking about for months, I would imagine. But yeah, in this very different fine, in this very different fine, I'll sleep in the middle kind of way

Sarah 42:24

yeah, I couldn't sleep on the couch by myself and not, and I couldn't even sleep on the floor. the floor was probably fucking filthy, so in my defense, it probably wasn't an option. Wasn't an option. yeah, no, I had to get, I had to sleep in bed with you guys. Maybe for a couple days.

Chrus 42:39

no. It was just one night

Sarah 42:40

Was it just the one night? You put a stop to that.

Chrus 42:43

like,

Sarah 42:43

We gotta find you a boyfriend. Get the fuck out of here.

Chrus 42:46

let's call Hobbit Steve and see if he's available.

Sarah 42:48

Him and his hairy little feet.

Chrus 42:50

I feel like after we can't find Hobbit Steve, we'll call a couple of those people we slept in a van down by the river.

Sarah 42:56

Oh, we're never going to, Oh, wow.

Chrus 42:58

Right.

Sarah 42:58

stories. So many great stories. So yeah, that's, I am a chicken shit to this day. I am a chicken shit. Noah and I just a few months ago watched some, it wasn't even, it was a movie. of course it was about a serial killer and. Yeti. I couldn't even take the dog out. Like he had to come out with me to take the dog out

Chrus 43:20

this is

Sarah 43:21

or I took the dog out and came in real quick. Like I was like, I can't do that. I can't do that. I can't be out

Chrus 43:25

do it. I can't do it. Um, so this is a, just a, just a little note about how your brain changes when you have babies, that I based part of my personality on liking horror things, like gross things, Stephen King, scary things, I liked all of it. I liked it when the guy got eaten in Jaws, I thought, I thought watching the Godfather and all the violent bloody parts. I thought that was amazing. I was like eight the and then I had a baby and just the idea of watching a scary movie or a gross movie turned my stomach and it really changed since. there's a whole lot of horror movies that have come out since then. And I have zero interest. Like I'll still read a Stephen King book, but I think mostly because his stuff now isn't,

Sarah 44:14

That's a different.

Chrus 44:16

Yeah, but yeah, that is, that is also a weird thing about how your little brain you squeeze out a baby. Just FYI, for those of you, for our tens and tens of listeners that don't have children, that's what happens.

Sarah 44:28

squeezing one out soon.

Chrus 44:30

Uh, You're gonna,

Sarah 44:32

to lose that and the elasticity in your tits.

Chrus 44:35

that, they're just liquid now. They just take the shape of whatever container they're in.

Sarah 44:39

And I feel like nobody told me that. maybe I should have known, but everybody told me everything else. But the day I had to roll my boobs up into my bra, I was like, why? Nobody told me this. Nobody told me this is what was going to happen. Yeah,

Chrus 44:55

It is literally just pouring them into, that's why they call them cups,

Sarah 44:58

exactly. Not cuffs either. It's cups. Those are legit

Chrus 45:02

with a P, with a P. Alright, let's talk, let's talk a little bit 10 percent happier. what, what did you read? did you read anything about the meditation retreat? Because I'm going to sign us up for one.

Sarah 45:13

Did you read it? Because you were supposed to read it over again.

Chrus 45:16

yeah, I read it over again. I read it, I read, talking about the Buddha and the, the guy who's leading it, the one jubu who's leading it. And he's, Dan Harris stays with him for a little bit. And then he starts talking a bunch of BS and Dan Harris is like, fuck this. It's the same shit. Um,

Sarah 45:34

legit. yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Chrus 45:37

so here's what I took away from this chapter. A, I hope those things don't cost like 20, 000 because we're going to do one.

Sarah 45:47

Okay. We have to sell some t shirts first. That's what that'll go towards. Okay.

Chrus 45:51

because I want to see the two of us in a location where we can't talk. Can you imagine?

Sarah 45:57

have to go to separate ones. There's no fucking way we can go to the same one. There's no fucking way. There is none. We would get kicked the fuck out and blacklisted from anything meditation wise ever. There will be no chance of me ever meeting Dan Harris. It will ruin my dreams. We can't do it. Do you remember the time we tried to do yoga in your little apartment? We ended up sitting on the couch smoking cigarettes watching you.

Chrus 46:25

Classic. Classic. Okay. Yeah. We'll have to go to, we'll have to go to separate ones, but

Sarah 46:31

I do want to go to one, but we can't, we absolutely cannot do it together.

Chrus 46:34

Amazing to me. this is after Dan Harris has been doing yoga. This is after Dan Harris has been doing meditation for A year. And he can't get like two breaths into it because he's so by the saliva in his mouth was my favorite thing.

Sarah 46:51

I legit was like, that's a thing. That's definitely a thing. That, that is, it's a thing. I get it. I get it. Yep.

Chrus 47:01

watching how terrible he feels at the beginning and then watching his journey through talking to this teacher and talking to that teacher and understanding that a lot of the reason you think it's terrible is because you're trying to do something and you should not be trying to do anything and the fact that you and I are so action oriented that makes all of this hard for us.

Sarah 47:27

Yeah. Yeah, very much

Chrus 47:30

Eight minutes of meditation and out of that I probably actually meditate for two and the rest of it I'm like, hey, don't do it. Hey. Hey, Hey, that's a thought. Hey, that's a thought. That's a thought. That's a thought

Sarah 47:45

so that was the thing I thought was really interesting. And cause you know me, like I, the words I read them, they come in through my eyeballs and out through my ass immediately. And

Chrus 47:54

Gross,

Sarah 47:55

things out of my ears. I don't know, out of my nose. I don't know, whatever. They leave my body really quickly. But one of the things that grabbed my attention here was at the beginning, if you look at his italicized words, those are, what's going through his head while he was trying to meditate. And at the beginning it's thoughts, they're actual thoughts. And then after he catches on to this, Oh, wait a second, I'm trying too hard. I need to just be aware. And so then you look at his italicized words after that and their awareness and there's a distinct difference. And I know this might sound basic to you, but it was a very, it was a big revelation to me because there's a distinct difference between them. Like at the beginning. Sorry, you're gonna hear my book. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, but at the beginning, of course, I go too far.

Chrus 48:47

this

Sarah 48:48

He's Like in, out, in, out. Holy crap. I think my feet are gonna snap off at the ankle. Come on, dude. It feels like a dinosaur has my ribcage in its mouth. I'm hungry. It's really quiet in here. Did I just hear a bell? Is that a bell? No, it's not a bell. Shit, shit, shit. fuck. There's, there will be no break in here. these are all his beginning thoughts. wonder if there will be more of that fresh bread at dinner.

Chrus 49:12

oh That will always be my thought

Sarah 49:15

Yeah. did someone actually invent and patent the sneeze guard or like math and language was it devised in several disconnected civilizations? But then you go to where he had this meeting with what's or nots, who was that spring. and she tells him you're trying too hard. You need to just sit. and just sit with whatever's there. And it's Oh, wait a second. So it's not that complicated. I was just making it complicated. So then the next time he sits the difference is the neck now he's conscious and what's going on and it's just a thought of neck pain knee pain Airplane overhead bird song sizzle of rustle sizzle of rustling leaves breeze on my forearm

Chrus 49:58

Yes.

Sarah 49:58

Hands feel stiff, bird, feet numb, but it's not a, it's not, wow, I'm having neck pain. Wonder why I'm having a neck pain so bad. Am I doing it wrong that I'm having the neck pain? Oh, there's an airplane overhead. Wonder what type of airplane it

Chrus 50:10

Where's it going?

Sarah 50:11

the airplane? It's not that. It's neck pain, knee pain, airplane. Like you're just going on and eventually he writes it as if it's the one word. Like feet, bird, feet, bird, feet, bird, back, feet, bird, back, feet, hat, heart,

Chrus 50:24

feed bird. Yes.

Sarah 50:26

that was. Again, I, it might sound elementary to some, but that was a huge takeaway from me in this. because in my meditation, now I'm doing 15 minute meditation pieces, with Peloton. And I started, I did seven days of 10 minutes. Yesterday was my first 15 minutes. The majority of the time, because one of the things she tells you to do is when you fill your mind. Going that you just need to calmly breathe and say to yourself, think, and bring it back in and concentrate on your heart and where your energy is coming from, blah, blah, blah. The majority of the time I'm going to think, and then I get back and I get there like tingly hands. Like I get there, but the amount of time I stay there is extremely small.

Chrus 51:14

right. I'm like, I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

Sarah 51:16

And that was the other thing is like he goes through this period so he has this like Epiphany that he's figured it out. And he's, he has these moments that are just amazing after this. Some huge clear clarity and, and then it goes away and that's what, and that's what the whole process is. And he talks about, he refers to that awareness as the choiceless awareness, but when you realize that, and I think I've said this before, it's like a sport, it's like a language, it's musical instrument. Everything that you do requires practice. You didn't just, unless you're some prodigy or something, you just, you didn't just sit down at the piano and play some insanely beautiful song. You had to learn, what are they called? The keys scales. You had to learn all of that shit. you have to do that. So I can say that in my 10 minutes that I've been doing in the 15 minutes, I have not once. Thought when is this going to be over? I've gotten to the end and been like, oh wow, we're open. We're fluttering our eyes already. Are we fluttering our eyes? Oh my goodness. We're fluttering our eyes. Okay.

Chrus 52:21

Exactly. Hang on second, because I have something important to say there, but I am

Sarah 52:26

done. I'm done.

Chrus 52:27

going to pee my pants,

Sarah 52:29

Oh, don't pee your pants I don't want you to pee your pants.

Chrus 52:31

I'm going to.

Sarah 52:32

isn't cool. I don't care what anybody says. Are you on mute? Did you mute yourself? Because I can't hear you. I'm assuming you're on mute. Nope, she broke something. You're on. Oh, nope. She's shutting herself. Oh my, I don't know what she's doing. I'm commentating it all for the audience though. I

Chrus 52:51

tell you, if you're quiet, this will just cut itself all out when it takes out the pauses. I'm going to mute myself and go pee. Hello.

Sarah 53:00

did it. I was quiet the whole time. I meditated for three seconds.

Chrus 53:04

And then talk to your brain and say, Hey,

Sarah 53:06

And then a squirrel went through my brain. I was like, whew!

Chrus 53:13

good. sorry. but here's what happened to me while I was meditating that I wanted to share with you. instructions during the meditation are to like find where you feel your breath. And then concentrate on your breath, right? So I'm doing that. And I then make up more instructions for myself because obviously with my decades of meditation experience and having, ingested parts of the Buddha along the way, I know better about how to meditate. I'm like, I think this is maybe your problem with meditation is that you don't. You don't get to,

Sarah 53:53

The family just got home. Give me a second, I gotta close the door.

Chrus 53:56

okay, like you don't, I don't get to decide the, meditate,

Sarah 54:01

Yeah.

Chrus 54:02

just meditate. Don't make it complicated. Don't be like, oh, we have to have a mantra. Let, because that's what I did. I was like, I don't think, I don't think I'm gonna just concentrate on my breathing. I'm gonna give it, you I'm gonna give it an and an ah and Why?

Sarah 54:17

and sometimes you do that.

Chrus 54:19

Why,

Sarah 54:19

when you Yeah, you don't have to, like Sometimes you do that,

Chrus 54:23

Just do it. And then I would feel like I was, like, I was meditating pretty good for eight seconds. And then I would be like, I'm doing it.

Sarah 54:31

Yeah. Exactly. Yep.

Chrus 54:34

good job. Good job, Christine. You're doing it. Here's your kudos. Now go back to breathing. Good

Sarah 54:39

you feel when you're done? Like my girl, it's always now slowly flutter your eyes open. do you, how do you feel when you flutter your eyes open? Do you close your eyes? First of all, cause I know some people can't, I normally can't, but when doing this, I seem to be okay with it.

Chrus 54:53

I got to ease into the eyes closing. So when I find a comfortable position, like I find a comfortable position, start your breathing, find out where your breathing is, like gently close your eyes. Like I have to sneak up on the eye closing. So

Sarah 55:07

another thing I did differently is when I started, I actually now Only the last two have I sat up. I found a very comfortable space downstairs to sit up, but I've been laying on the floor because I originally just sitting up was like annoying to me and I wasn't getting anywhere. So I started laying on the floor and that seemed to help me. but, cause I remember being told there's no rules, so that was what I needed to do to get started. And it's starting to make sense. it's still obviously, full seven, nine days into it.

Chrus 55:44

Let me tell you how to do it.

Sarah 55:45

No, plenty of ways to go, but it's making more sense. Like I'm, I can see the progression in my brain of this is a bunch of bullshit. I will never be able to do this to gaining confidence. Like I, these 15 minute sessions, I'm pretty sure that's as long as I'm going to go for a while. Cause I need to work on it before I do much longer than that. but I'm very pleased with it.

Chrus 56:09

Yeah, I'm having a good time and when I'm done, I feel the same way I do after a yoga class. because that's how you spend like the last four or five minutes of the yoga class. You're just laying there on the floor, like a turd. and you're just finding a comfortable position and going through scanning. And, and

Sarah 56:27

that's what, when I'm done and this is going to sound real kooky, here's one of those things that you're like, bullshit when I'm done. I never forget where I am. Like, I always know I'm in my living room on the floor. it's not like I forget that, but when I'm done and I opened my eyes and the lights above and I take in what's around me, it's almost as though I did forget where I was. I know that might not make sense to anybody, but

Chrus 56:49

no, I,

Sarah 56:49

the feeling. I'm like, Oh, okay.

Chrus 56:52

Here we are in new.

Sarah 56:54

And now let's move on.

Chrus 56:56

And then what I like is after I'm done with the meditation, there's three or four little things I can listen to that are about meditation. So it's not necessarily a guided meditation, but it's more of, Hey, here's how this philosophy lines up with this thing. Here's why we do this mindfulness thing. And here's the kind of like the neuroscience behind it, which I.

Sarah 57:17

that part of your app?

Chrus 57:20

that's the uh, me, what's it called? I can never remember. Waking Up is the app that I'm using. You're doing the Peloton add on. Right?

Sarah 57:29

Yeah, it's just, it's one of the Peloton workouts, the Peloton thing that we pay monthly for the bike and the tread. We, it's one of the things included all sorts of meditation and yoga, but that's the other meditation and workouts and stuff. I said yoga cause I think I'm going to start doing yoga now. if I can sit and for 15 minutes and like meditate, I think I can try some little bit of yoga.

Chrus 57:52

Yoga's fun. Um, I also got told by my doctor that I needed to do something else that wasn't just yoga. I felt

Sarah 57:59

I also walk. I haven't been walking because I'm terrible because I'm getting out of my routines. But

Chrus 58:05

Right? We gotta,

Sarah 58:06

other

Chrus 58:07

we gotta refresh some atomic habits.

Sarah 58:09

Yeah, I definitely need to I definitely need to

Chrus 58:12

All right, let's do that. Let's do that for next week. I want you to refresh a habit and do it like three times

Sarah 58:18

I can do that. I

Chrus 58:19

and I will

Sarah 58:20

I did love this chapter. I did love this chapter. I'm watching the progression of it and then the, I, the up or the down and then the up and then down again. And it's just a reminder that's just how it's not going to be perfect. And even at the end of it, he still has a shit ton of questions, which we all do.

Chrus 58:39

right, And the more I do it, the more interesting it is for me to understand changes in brain chemistry, right? Like we were, Like, those are the things that kind of hook me in versus the spiritual Buddha kind of stuff. And it's fun for me to, watch somebody be a kind of religious skeptic. And come into this and learn to appreciate some of the Buddhist teachings about it, but, but also it really connect with people who are scientific and listening to the podcast and the array of sciencey sort of people like that come on the 10 percent happier podcast and talk about actual train changes and brain chemistry that come along with this, make it feel real to

Sarah 59:26

yeah, for sure.

Chrus 59:27

And it doesn't have to be Buddhist and it doesn't have to be spiritual and it doesn't have to be, nature related. although your, your brains are nature. So, I mean, I like I like that piece of it and I like the fact that I can relate it back to the exercise. Like I can't see the effects of exercise. Like I can't see the effects of doing the yoga except for that. I can sit crisscross applesauce without my knees falling out of my body.

Sarah 59:52

Great.

Chrus 59:53

So yeah, you're going to do yoga. I'll tell you my yoga.

Sarah 59:56

a shot.

Chrus 59:57

Do you have the yoga on the Peloton? Cause I have an app for that too. And

Sarah 1:00:00

have it all on the Peloton. Oh,

Chrus 1:00:06

the TV. And it was just like I was at class, except for there weren't, a lot of people who are better at yoga.

Sarah 1:00:11

I have yoga blocks and all kinds of shit.

Chrus 1:00:14

Oh, mostly I'm just leaning on the coffee tables.

Sarah 1:00:17

Yeah, we'll see how that goes. But,

Chrus 1:00:20

All right. I am a, I'm off to target to buy a, to buy Olivia and air fryer.

Sarah 1:00:26

Awesome, I am gonna go put together my new refrigerator.

Chrus 1:00:29

Oh, so exciting.

Sarah 1:00:31

Yay! And move all the food back upstairs, so we don't have to walk downstairs when we want creamer for the coffee.

Chrus 1:00:37

Makes sense. Makes

Sarah 1:00:38

super excited. Alright, I'm digging it, I'm digging everything we're doing. Love you, bye.

Chrus 1:00:43

Love you!