Episode 34: Seasonal Depression

Join Sarah and Christine in this week's episode of 'Mental Funny Bone: Becoming the Gaster Girls' as they navigate through their hilarious and painful Thanksgiving memories, from childhood injuries to holiday food debates. Despite their self-admitted lack of mental health expertise, they keep the conversation light and humorous, diving into listener fan mail and discussing the benefits of compassion meditation. Stay tuned for reflections on self-care, seasonal depression, and the importance of gratitude.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Transcript

Chris 0:11

Hey, welcome to the mental funny bone becoming the gaster girls. This is Sarah.

Sarah 0:15

This is Christine. just your weekly reminder that neither Sarah nor myself are trained mental health professionals. We don't know what we're talking about. and as we go through today's episode, it will become abundantly clear that we don't know what we're talking about when it comes to advising and guiding you on mental health. We do, however, have links to professionals in our show notes. So by all means, please, avail yourself of the list and, and go ahead and get yourself some real help. In the meantime, Sarah and I will talk to you about mental health and how important it is to us and we will make you laugh along the way. So buckle in, we're going to be here for about 45 minutes, 40 minutes of which will be us yammering away at each other about various topics and five minutes of it will be valuable.

Chris 1:07

Fantastic. That was like a real intro.

Sarah 1:10

I know it felt good. It felt good. I'm gonna have to copy it for every other episode now. I won't be able to. Oh, hey. to get us started, did you look and see if we had any fan mail? Because I didn't.

Chris 1:22

You should, you definitely should.

Sarah 1:25

Oh no. I'm so excited.

Chris 1:26

didn't. I should have told you before right now. I'm sorry. There's definitely a few fan mails. your one friend, I won't say her name cause I want you to be surprised, sent three emails. She's so excited and I love her and she's my new favorite. besides Kim D. And Shauna and Ryan. And

Sarah 1:43

Oh my goodness. There are there. Oh, oh. We got fan mail. alright, so we'll start with the LC. Who, who is the most awesome and grew up very similar to me and Sare. holiday recipes. I have to go back and take a look at that and figure out what holiday recipes these are to go along with green beans.

Chris 2:05

yeah, she actually has, there's a bit about her mother in law and there's, the pumpkin pie is it a dessert or is it a side? I feel like I never thought of that and I feel like it's a valid question.

Sarah 2:14

I never thought about it. I might eat it if it was a side and not pumpkin pie, but it still has the spices and I think that's what I find most interesting. disgusting about pumpkin pie is the pumpkin pie spice.

Chris 2:26

I love pumpkin pie of everything about it. but yeah, so her mother in law, told the kids that a slice of pumpkin pie counts as a serving of vegetables.

Sarah 2:34

it

Chris 2:34

bet that doesn't help the kids. it makes sense, but, I don't, yeah. maybe it's the crust that turns it into a dessert. I personally believe that it is the sweetness that turns it into the dessert and it being a pie. I guess a meat pie. Blech.

Sarah 2:50

now Elaine's Irish, so I mean they have all kinds of entrees in pie. They have a shepherd's pie. I feel

Chris 2:58

pie. Okay. Yeah, so that definitely doesn't make it a dessert. I don't know. I'm not sure I'm really not

Sarah 3:04

like having watched enough Great British Baking Show, they'll turn, they'll put all kinds of disgusting shit in pastry

Chris 3:11

No, but we're not talking about, I just clicked the link that she sent. Wow. We probably should have done this before we started the actual podcast because she's not talking about the pumpkin pie. She's talking about the mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows,

Sarah 3:25

Oh yeah, that's definitely a side dish, and

Chris 3:28

the sweet potato casserole.

Sarah 3:29

I'm not sure, I'm not sure,

Chris 3:32

Yeah, I that is a side dish. but I do prefer it to be sweeter, obviously with the marshmallows. So I'm saying it's a side. The pumpkin pie is the dessert, both of which we're getting some vegetables from. I do believe that the amount of vegetables that are entering our bodies through these two dishes are canceled out by the amount of fucking sugar that is in both

Sarah 3:58

by the amount of marshmallow required.

Chris 4:00

yes, so yeah, there's zero nutritional value, but I get it. I get it. So I'm going to go back to, I'm going to go to Elaine's next

Sarah 4:09

This is, this is where Elaine and I might diverge as, as human beings, because she seems to take umbrage with the broccoli cheddar casserole as well. Now, I'm a

Chris 4:20

I don't know what the word umbrage means, so I'm guessing it's she doesn't like it.

Sarah 4:24

She doesn't like it. She's offended by it, mildly.

Chris 4:28

I don't like shank. Isn't that Irish? Isn't that what we had in that Irish place?

Sarah 4:32

I think, I don't think, I don't think shank is Irish because I think it's just a part of the animal, but I think we had the unfortunate experience of ordering the shank in an Irish restaurant, which, also, why were we at an Irish restaurant? We didn't have

Chris 4:48

It was the.

Sarah 4:49

did we think we were going to just drink Guinness and then, I don't know, what, just fish

Chris 4:54

think we mistook the restaurant for a bar. I feel like that's, it was in Arizona. So it was definitely that time of our lives where we were either drunk or hungover. So I'm fairly certain that we were like, hey, it's Irish. Obviously, there's lots of fun going on in there, chugging the pints, and then we got in there and it was a restaurant. We're like, we may as well try the cuisine. And then, and one of us ordered the asshole of the lamb or sheep or is the lamb and a sheep the same thing?

Sarah 5:24

lambs, lambs are our baby sheep.

Chris 5:26

It's so

Sarah 5:26

But also delicious.

Chris 5:28

can't.

Sarah 5:28

It's

Chris 5:29

my love for the animals, it does end when it comes to feeding me. So

Sarah 5:33

I love a cow as much as the next person, but steaks are good.

Chris 5:36

yeah, as long as I don't meet them, as long as I don't meet them. Okay. Keep going. Keep going.

Sarah 5:42

And then there's one that I'm not gonna argue with her about. It is the the green lime salad, salad. So it's a lime mold. do you know what this is? It's like a sour cream lime jello. There's the There's often nuts and pineapples included in this. Fuuuuh.

Chris 6:02

like anything jello, except for strawberry pretzel salad, which is also not a salad. It's a dessert. But besides that, Okay, no. I lie. Jell O shots.

Sarah 6:14

No? That's not what we're talking about here. We're

Chris 6:17

Mold. Anything that has the word mold

Sarah 6:20

Mold. That is the offensive part, correct. I think we're, I think we're in alignment on this one. But, it does have pineapple in it, which I do like. it is, what I'm discovering from this conversation is really hard to find a food I won't eat.

Chris 6:34

here's the thing. let me read exactly. Let me read this to you. Lime Jell O sour cream mold. right there. There's so many offensive things or lime, sour cream and mold. These three things should never ever be in the same title of a recipe ever. So to make this, you need a crush, crush can of pineapple, not a crush can, a can of crushed pineapple, lime, jello, dairy, sour cream, chopped nuts. not to does make most things better, but, and chopped maraschino cherries, I get, and there's nothing about that. Makes me happy really.

Sarah 7:12

it's can of crayon. I, and Elaine says in her defense, she doesn't eat it, but it's not Thanksgiving unless it's on the table. I'll

Chris 7:19

Yeah, I get

Sarah 7:20

all of those things individually except for maybe lime jello. Not my favorite, but

Chris 7:25

I think it may be Here's the thing. I think I might have to make this for Thanksgiving and just so I could take a picture of it, right? Because I'm not under like how I, Yeah. Okay.

Sarah 7:39

My favorite quote from this particular email is, Nothing natural is that color.

Chris 7:44

Ooh. Yeah.

Sarah 7:45

I can't wait to make it. I can't wait to make it.

Chris 7:48

We're going to make it. We're going to make it. we can't make it because Noah's going to be in charge of the kitchen.

Sarah 7:54

no, I think this is a make ahead. We can make it ahead of time. you don't have to wait until the day. In fact, if you wait until the day, you're going to end up with soup.

Chris 8:02

God truth. You are the smartest.

Sarah 8:05

Green soup.

Chris 8:06

It'll be like the time we went to, one of my friends, she was having a party housewarming party and we got there. And first of all, she wasn't there. The garage door was open and there was water boiling on the stove.

Sarah 8:16

What? Wait, start again. She's not there.

Chris 8:19

She wasn't there. it's my friend, Jackie. She wasn't there. The garage door was open. We were the first ones there, obviously. Went in. She's not there. And there's water boiling on the stove. So I sent her a text and I was like, Oh, what the fuck?

Sarah 8:34

Hey.

Chris 8:35

said, Oh, she had to run out to get something that she forgot. And I was like, there's water boiling on your stove. She was like, Oh yeah, that's for the jello shots. Can you put the jello in there? And I looked at Noah, I was like, she knows, like the party starts like now,

Sarah 8:48

we're

Chris 8:48

the jello shots are not something you make,

Sarah 8:50

Day of.

Chris 8:52

one of my favorite experiences. I think Noah was just like, what is happening?

Sarah 8:55

happening?

Chris 8:56

Okay.

Sarah 8:57

Oh my goodness. Elaine, thank you so much. Next week, we will have, pictures of the Jell O mold in the show notes. looking forward to that,

Chris 9:06

Yep.

Sarah 9:07

being able to provide everybody with the picture of the Jell O mold for Thanksgiving,

Chris 9:12

Yes.

Sarah 9:13

That would be awesome.

Chris 9:14

Fantastic.

Sarah 9:15

oh my friend, Jamie. Jamie R, as I know her. Jamie M, as she exists today. So she sent a little note to say that she just discovered the podcast and that she's in her car and her heart is smiling and that always makes me smile too. And she did ask us to meet up to eat chicken wings. So I'm

Chris 9:35

and I think we should definitely get that on the calendar ASAP.

Sarah 9:38

She texted me today and I was wondering what it was about and apparently it's just because she's fangirling You know as many do

Chris 9:47

did you not open her text?

Sarah 9:48

well. Here's the thing. I I don't get notices I don't get notifications anymore when I get a text, And I'm pretty dependent on getting the notifications to look at the text messages, because I have, I have a lot of other tabs open in my brain. And she texted me earlier, and I looked at it, and she said, Is this you, Gaster? And I texted her back and said, Yes, it is me, Gaster.

Chris 10:16

Oh okay got you so she

Sarah 10:18

me since. Or she might have. I just don't know. Don't know because I haven't looked like no one has told me they sent me a text So I haven't looked at my text messages There's and then I often I'll open up my phone and there's 13 text messages from mostly you and our parents And

Chris 10:33

got it Got

Sarah 10:34

the time I get to those the joke is already over and there's no point to me jumping on To any of the fun text messages, so I think that's I think that's our fan mail. no, No fan mail from noah this week

Chris 10:46

I believe he said he's not gonna give us fan mail anymore.

Sarah 10:49

unless it's real fan mail unless he's really You Unless he's really excited about something we've done.

Chris 10:55

right okay What are you being distracted by?

Sarah 10:58

I wanted to look at my text messages to see if there were any text messages. I don't know. I don't know how to fix it. I think what I'm gonna have to do is just reset my phone because obviously I've done something that turned them off.

Chris 11:10

Yeah.

Sarah 11:10

I've gone back through all of the things that ChatGPT told me would fix it and it hasn't. So I'm just gonna have to turn it off, reset it, and then start all over, which I think is fine.

Chris 11:22

Yeah.

Sarah 11:23

And then I'm just wondering if I'm just wondering if it won't just come back the same way, like some sort of mutant phone zombie that won't tell me when I have a fucking text message.

Chris 11:32

I think you should just go get a new phone. That's what I would do.

Sarah 11:35

I just got a new phone. I can't get a new phone. do we not just talk about how I haven't looked at my finances in months and am very disappointed in myself again?

Chris 11:45

Oh, I love it. I love it. All right.

Sarah 11:48

next? what comes after fan mail? I don't, we do the same goddamn show every week.

Chris 11:53

Do a little

Sarah 11:53

Oh, I was in New York. Did you see my pictures in New York?

Chris 11:57

I did. They were very pretty. You sent me some via text too. I love that. And you probably didn't

Sarah 12:03

you replied, I didn't

Chris 12:04

that I love them. Yeah.

Sarah 12:06

yeah, that was fun. That was a, that was a whole, that was a whole thing. so unsurprisingly, I've been, everyone who has seen us do episodes from the road, right? so I'm just always in a random hotel room. That was the tail end of a string of four or five weeks of near constant travel. So I didn't want to go to New York. I didn't want to go to that conference. And I was really happy that I did because I ran into some people that I hadn't talked to in ages. Some just good people. friends that I hadn't, that I hadn't talked to in, Maybe like a year that we're excited to see me and that always, boosts my self confidence and convinces me that I'm a worthwhile person. eh. Friends from the, from the next conference, it was nice to see you all. So thanks for listening.

Chris 12:53

Yay.

Sarah 12:54

was fun.

Chris 12:55

I, I hit a deer.

Sarah 12:56

Did you hit it shank?

Chris 12:58

I hit it square in the center of the body. He stopped perfect.

Sarah 13:01

he didn't come through the windshield, did he? Like Tommy Boy style?

Chris 13:06

he did it. He flipped over from what I could tell. He flipped over. um, yeah, I'll give you the story. So I'm driving and, the deer comes out of nowhere. I believe that there was like a split half a second that I went to turn up the radio because a virgin came on

Sarah 13:23

No, it makes sense now. Warranted.

Chris 13:26

or no, what was the other? No, it's not like a virgin. It's the other one.

Sarah 13:28

Lucky star? Borderline?

Chris 13:30

wow. The one in the church.

Sarah 13:32

Vogue? Okay.

Chris 13:33

Fuck.

Sarah 13:34

a virgin?

Chris 13:36

No.

Sarah 13:36

The one in the church? Life is a mystery to me.

Chris 13:40

Life is a mystery. Everyone must stand

Sarah 13:45

I'm not doing it.

Chris 13:46

I hear you call my name. And it feels so right. Like a prayer.

Sarah 13:53

Oh, yeah, like a prayer. Sorry, not like a virgin, like a prayer.

Chris 13:57

Wow. Wow. Anyway, so I won't,

Sarah 14:01

that in.

Chris 14:02

me too. anyway, I hate myself right now. so yeah, I went to turn up the radio and the deer took that opportunity to jump out in front of me. And then he seemed to be slightly surprised that I was there and stopped.

Sarah 14:17

tiny brains. They have tiny brains. for those of our like cross country fans, ones that don't live right by us. In, in the fall here, the deer go a little bit cuckoo. because it's time for them to make some baby deers. And the boys just go nuts and the girls are running away, but I don't think they're really running away. anyway, so it makes them dumb as hell.

Chris 14:40

and it makes me sad, like on so many different levels. so we hit the deer, it's bad. Like I am. I've never hit a deer before. I cry when I hit like a little baby, like a little squirrel. Like I, I cry and lose my shit anytime I hit an animal. so I hit the deer and it goes like flipping and I'm, I don't know what the fuck to do. So what do I do? I call 9 1 1. Cause I was pretty sure he landed in the middle of the road on the other side of the road and I was like, fuck. And I. And it's a fairly busy road. So I was like, somebody is going to have to get that fucker off the road. So I called 9 1 1 and I'm trying to turn around because I want to go stop and make sure nobody else hits the deer. Nobody else has damage to their car. I'm trying, I don't know what to do, but I know that I'm very sad and I'm very upset that I just killed a deer. And so the lady gets on the phone and she was absolutely shout out. what are the odds fairly certain? She's not listening to this, but God, I love, she is my favorite person. She was like, okay, it's okay, honey. It's okay. And I said, no, it's not. It's not okay. I just,

Sarah 15:46

oh my god.

Chris 15:47

so I turn around and she's talking to me. It's just are you okay? And I was like, do I sound okay?

Sarah 15:52

You were mouthing off

Chris 15:53

okay? I was like, I don't care about my car. I killed the deer. So I turn around and I get to where the deer should be, and I was like, oh my God, the deer's not here. The deer got up and fucking left the deer's gone, the deer, and then I lost my shit completely. I pulled over parked. She was like, okay, that's good. And I was like, I'm sorry. I, oh my God, the deer's gone. The deer is gone. The deer is now in the woods, fucking bleeding out. It's going to take days for that deer to die.

Sarah 16:22

What? Why do you, why do you attach characteristics to the deer that don't need to be attached to the deer?

Chris 16:29

My, cause

Sarah 16:30

will find it and kill it.

Chris 16:31

see that's still upsetting to me. that's still very upsetting to me. That is, does not help.

Sarah 16:37

nature finds a way.

Chris 16:39

very upsetting. It's very upsetting to me. So yeah, so it, my brain latched on and it spiraled and spiraled. And, but the lady was like, do you need me to send an officer out? I could send an officer out to you. And I was like, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'll be fine. And, yeah. And my kid's wonderful. Like I was going to meet Noah somewhere. And so my kid is wonderful because he called about something else. I'd already talked to Noah and he called about something else and I'm in the car crying. And I said, I'm sorry, buddy. I just hit a deer. I'm upset. And he was like, Oh no. Oh, do you want me to call dad to make sure he knows? So he could look at it. He could look at your car when you get there. So you don't have to look at it. I know you don't want to look at it,

Sarah 17:18

Oh!

Chris 17:20

which is funny because I just got off the phone with Noah and I was like, I can't, there's going to be blood and fur and I can't look at it. Turns out there was no blood and fur. There was no blood, no fur, there was no evidence, but that, oh, I can't, I don't want to talk about it anymore because

Sarah 17:37

I hit a

Chris 17:37

seriously still get sad. I still get sad. 7, 000 worth of damage.

Sarah 17:44

that should make you less sad, I think. And

Chris 17:46

Well,

Sarah 17:47

It's their dumb fault. He was probably hiding behind the road, him and six of his buddies, and he's hey, watch. And that's what happens. Fuck around and find out, deer.

Chris 17:57

I think so. This is the story that I'm going with and him and his buddies. And then he got tossed. So he broke some bones. He definitely had to break some fucking bones. He had to. so he broke some bones. His buddies came out, picked him up, took him off into the woods. They took him to the deer rescue hospital. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. A couple of them had those things on the top of their heads,

Sarah 18:19

Antlers.

Chris 18:20

antlers. So someone that they just, they put them on those and they just plopped them up and they took them out into the woods to the deer hospital and he's fine.

Sarah 18:29

There's a deer surgeon. He's wearing scrubs. He's got a mask on.

Chris 18:34

Everything's, everybody's happy. Nobody died. It's fine. It's fine. today's really the first day I've said, I've told the whole story without crying again. that's cool. I just feel like you're heartless.

Sarah 18:46

This might be true. here's the thing. I am in a spot right now where It's dark. I, I don't know if this is the right part of the show to talk about it, but it's dark. I'm real tired from traveling. There's no hope ever of me getting a break at work, ever, that will result in me being able to complete my job in eight hours per day. I will always be tired. There will consistently be things around here that I want to do and need to do and can't do. it is, did I mention it was dark? Like it's dark. there's no sunshine. Everything is cold. Even today it was 65 degrees. I was in my car shivering because it was cold. I was cold. And I don't, there's very little hope in my life right now. And I am having a hard time being worried about this deer off in the woods. I It is, it is seasonal depression time, and I am embracing it for everything it's worth. I don't have therapy this Friday, or I do, I can't remember if it's a therapy Friday or not, but I think next time I go I'm gonna be like, maybe we should talk every week until the sun comes back.

Chris 19:59

I

Sarah 19:59

Because, Fuck this bullshit. getting up out of bed, if you weren't calling me every day at 6 o'clock, I'm pretty sure, today I had a meeting at 8 o'clock, which is the only reason I tumbled out of bed at 7. 15. So I wouldn't get in trouble.

Chris 20:14

Yeah, I failed this

Sarah 20:15

if you're not calling me at six o'clock in the morning and making me feel bad or making it feel like I'm coming in second in the competition of siblings, then I'm not getting up out of bed. So, I wonder in my head if my lack of empathy for the deer is just because I feel dead inside.

Chris 20:36

That might be it. and I also have an empathy problem like the other way I think with some

Sarah 20:42

like the other way?

Chris 20:43

Yeah, like I have too much of it.

Sarah 20:46

you're the deer are too empathetic towards you.

Chris 20:49

no, why would the

Sarah 20:51

Oh, you have too much. I don't know. That lady's so sad because she killed Tom. Tom was a dick, maybe something like that. They're helping you. But there you go. and I will just say this, I will just encourage all of, all of the funny boners to, don't necessarily suffer like this. Everybody is feeling the same way, maybe, and if you had been meaning to reach out to a therapist, but you just hadn't really, Had the time or the inclination to do that. maybe now maybe the seasonal depression time is time to do that you know i'm finding it hard to even get excited about thanksgiving this year and i'm finding it hard to You know find the energy to bring the christmas trees up and that's usually like my jam like at this point i've probably listened to 887 christmas carols already and I just I can't Get into it. Olivia's coming home on Friday. I'm super excited to see her but also ambivalent at the same time So

Chris 21:53

Yeah,

Sarah 21:54

wrong with me?

Chris 21:55

Give

Sarah 21:55

Yeah. Yeah, I do. I know and I don't like it like

Chris 21:59

Yeah.

Sarah 22:00

i'm

Chris 22:01

Yeah,

Sarah 22:01

Like it's usually not bad Like mine usually isn't bad like usually I have sympathetic seasonal depression because I just have to watch Olivia walk around like She has no soul like she's dead inside But this year I get to share in it. So Hooray.

Chris 22:15

Have you been

Sarah 22:16

yeah. I have not been very good about meditating. I've been pretty good about doing the yoga, but I've not been very good about the meditating. So I've been listening to podcasts on meditation, if that counts, and being like, oh, it would be nice to find time to meditate today. I can't find time to meditate. What I can find time to do is lay down on the floor in the kitchen.

Chris 22:34

yeah, I think maybe you should take that time to do some meditation. I am finding it very helpful in my own, in my own brain.

Sarah 22:41

That's amazing. And I keep reading scientific articles about what a positive impact meditation will have and going Interesting. No, I no doubt. No doubt. we should probably do that I think that's that's my catch up corner is that I'm going through, I'm going through a little bit of seasonal depression and not at my most sympathetic. I'm sorry about your deer, and the deer, this happens to them every year, like there's a lot of them and that's why we have deer hunting to make sure that they don't run out in front of your car as much.

Chris 23:12

I know all

Sarah 23:13

go and try to help you take care

Chris 23:14

it's like the flight anxiety like I know all this like this is all

Sarah 23:18

Yeah,

Chris 23:19

My sadness is 100 percent irrational, but it's there.

Sarah 23:23

get it. So is mine. So is mine. Okay. Okay. So there's no reason for me to be more sad because it's dark at five o'clock. if we didn't have daylight savings time, it would still be dark at five o'clock. So

Chris 23:35

yeah, this time of year does suck. I do think I'm holding out hope that once you get the Christmas trees out and Olivia and we have Thanksgiving, that things will get better. I can say that I haven't, I'm normally done with Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving. And I have purchased zero. Not even made, like I normally have a list done in October of what everybody's getting. I don't even have a list done.

Sarah 24:02

I bought one gift. One gift for your husband is the single gift that I bought.

Chris 24:07

Yeah.

Sarah 24:08

But this isn't unusual for me. Like I usually get to the point in December where Amazon's Hey, if you want that for Christmas, you can't buy it anymore. And then I start to like panic.

Chris 24:19

And then you

Sarah 24:20

And then I go out and then I go out and just buy people presents. I wanted to buy for myself.

Chris 24:25

Yeah, which is always, I, that's like my favorite. hmm.

Sarah 24:29

don't you love it? It's yellow.

Chris 24:31

Didn't we, was it last year that we traded, we bought presents for each other and then traded them?

Sarah 24:36

Yeah.

Chris 24:37

I bought you a purse that you didn't like and you bought me a massage envy gift card and I, and getting massages makes me sick.

Sarah 24:43

right. I was like, what a hideous purse. I would never pick that out for myself.

Chris 24:47

This is so ugly. And I was like, I like it. I actually ended up selling it on Poshmark, but.

Sarah 24:53

Oh my gosh. Alright, other catch ups? Other catch ups this week?

Chris 24:58

I went to Elizabeth and hung out with Aaron and got drunk.

Sarah 25:03

where were you, where were you part of the band? She sent me a video where you were singing.

Chris 25:08

Yeah, I was singing bare naked ladies. That was it. That was at a little brewery right down in downtown Elizabeth, the whistle stop brewery. Maybe she was singing bare naked ladies and I had a bare naked lady sweatshirt on and I felt it super appropriate. And then I actually thought about it today and I was like, why didn't she punch me? Like I was literally just standing up there with her. And like at times trying to get into the microphone.

Sarah 25:30

I, Aaron sent it to me and I watched it and I was like,

Chris 25:34

Horrified.

Sarah 25:36

What? I thought you were, first, I thought you were holding a hoagie in your hand. I thought maybe you had stopped at Central Pizza and gotten an Italian hoagie

Chris 25:46

Yeah, no.

Sarah 25:47

and you were holding that in your hand while you were trying to take over the mic. And you're, I asked Erin, I was like, does she not, did she not look at the girl? did she not look at the girl's face? Wow. Because the girl's face is I'm gonna have to punch her.

Chris 26:05

I don't, what I remember the conversation definitely wasn't she was punching me. but again, that was the last thing we did. We had actually left before that. And for some reason I came back into the bar cause I felt that I wasn't done with a conversation. And then in the middle of that conversation, she started playing bare naked ladies. So I left that conversation and went. To

Sarah 26:26

Oh dear.

Chris 26:27

and then

Sarah 26:27

no, it makes

Chris 26:28

finally left it was it was yeah, and I think that was approximately 8 p. m 9 at the latest

Sarah 26:34

I was like what where did you go? I thought maybe you had been in a picnic all day, but

Chris 26:39

no, we started we went to Mingo Creek Tavern the place that you and I went to before the soccer game we went there for lunch, went there for lunch, and we started at one o'clock. We left there about 530. Not a clue. We made some friends there along the way, like multiple groups of friends at that bar.

Sarah 26:58

I am NOT shocked. It seemed like a friendly place.

Chris 27:01

yeah, it was great. it was great. yeah. And then I, by the time we left there, I was already good to go. Then we went to this brewery and we were there until nine o'clock. So, and I'm pretty sure that someone like, I feel like once I hit beer six, someone should take my phone away because I was texting. I was, Using Aaron's phone to send Facebook messages. Cause I refused to put Facebook on my phone again. I was making videos and sending them to be in all like the high school people that I haven't talked to in a few years.

Sarah 27:32

they're glad to have them I mean, I was glad to have it.

Chris 27:35

It was, it's pure gold, pure fucking entertainment.

Sarah 27:38

what is she holding?

Chris 27:39

Yeah.

Sarah 27:40

like, is she part of the band now? is she a duo with that girl? Cuz I think at the end she was like, Oh, you're wearing a sweatshirt. It was like she was talking to a toddler. Oh,

Chris 27:51

Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna have to watch the video. I, it's not like watching the video, I don't like seeing the pictures, I don't really care. I don't care to, there's no, I need zero

Sarah 28:01

you're not even

Chris 28:02

am 100 percent aware that I am a fucking asshole.

Sarah 28:07

you're not even the same person you were then. now. I know that's drunk Sarah. If you have questions for drunk Sarah, you're going to have to take them up with drunk Sarah, not me sober Sarah.

Chris 28:18

Yeah. She's two

Sarah 28:19

You're going to have to ask her. All right.

Chris 28:21

what I did. That's it. Sure.

Sarah 28:24

up gaster story of the week. Since we're heading into the Thanksgiving period, I thought maybe we would discuss the early, early gaster girls. I was probably like, just old enough to have, grown up teeth. I'd lost my teeth and my new teeth had come in, so maybe like second or third grade. How old are you in second or third, like eight or nine? Which makes you like three or four. and we were screwing around downstairs in the basement.

Chris 28:51

Are

Sarah 28:52

there were, no, we weren't, we were, yeah, we were in Elizabeth, but not downtown Elizabeth. We were in similar drive. We weren't part of a gang yet. We weren't part of a gang yet. There was probably a kerosene heater, just an open flame. For us to play with in the basement And a lot of red shag carpeting and fake brick and fake fire

Chris 29:11

Yeah.

Sarah 29:12

real fire for us to play with also fake fire for us to play with it had a crinkled up plastic So it's supposed to sound like a fire. Do you remember this?

Chris 29:20

Yeah.

Sarah 29:22

yeah that

Chris 29:23

innovation back then was brilliant.

Sarah 29:25

amazing and I hadn't gotten my braces on yet. So I had to be only like eight or nine So I had big You big teeth, but not, not long enough for them to be like, oh dear lord, we can't leave them like that. No one will ever marry her. so my one tooth was sticking straight out, if you'll remember, and you were trying to get me to go upstairs, and I didn't want to go upstairs, but you were pulling me, and for, you had a burst of strength, and pulled me into the corner of the wall, and the only part that stuck out far enough to hit the wall was my fucking front tooth. And it, it broke. It broke. Now, it's Thanksgiving Day. It's Thanksgiving Day. We're supposed to stay downstairs and stay out of the way. Your mother is dealing with our grandmother upstairs, because obviously our mother isn't doing anything right. And now I come upstairs and I'm spitting chiclets, as they say in hockey, like part of my tooth. And what's happened is, it didn't knock it out, but it broke it enough where, the nerve ending is exposed. every time I breathe, I can feel my heartbeat. it's so painful. So

Chris 30:31

It makes me want to cry for you.

Sarah 30:33

because what do you do? She's I have a turkey in the oven. I can't take you anywhere. And our dad is, of course, at work, or someplace not there. he is just absent.

Chris 30:40

was already drunk, but at that point.

Sarah 30:43

no, what? He might have been. I'm not sure which absent, or that, it might have been, it might have been. the

Chris 30:49

that or he was at work because he would work to get the

Sarah 30:53

probably doubled out. we probably didn't even eat dinner with him. He just brought his mother down and let our mother take care of her.

Chris 30:59

huh. Yeah, he was happy as a clam

Sarah 31:02

that, he was at work. They probably brought them, turkeys, or the union got him, whatever. I couldn't eat. And there's no like emergency dentist at that time. So your mother was like, yeah, sorry. Yeah, we'll just get we'll go tomorrow miserable. I think that is when that was like the height of my hatred for you is right then not only are you a thorn in my ass all the time? Now you've injured me in a way that I can prove look what she did to my face Our mother doesn't care because she's already got enough shit to care about on this day and I can't eat thanksgiving Like the turkey I had waited and I don't know if you remember but when I was like around that age. I ate everything I was You I had the highest metabolism of anyone in our house and I would eat twice as much as your dad and not

Chris 31:56

remember any of this. So

Sarah 31:57

I was a chowhound and I really liked it and now I had to sit there and watch you eat and Everyone tell

Chris 32:03

I was gonna say it probably didn't help. I'm sure I didn't eat that much because I may have eaten a shitload of one thing, because I, Yeah, because I didn't eat shit when I was little. mommy would make me special dinners because I was that much of a bitch.

Sarah 32:18

right? I want meatloaf, but I only want meatloaf prepared at home

Chris 32:23

Yeah. Yeah,

Sarah 32:25

I went

Chris 32:25

but yeah, I can see it like, I could see it being terrible because to make it worse, I'm probably running around like a fool being, I don't know, a three year old. And not giving a fuck about your terrible tooth injury.

Sarah 32:40

no, nobody cared. plus I, I was me. So I was like, nobody cares about me. No one understands what I'm going through. Why?

Chris 32:50

sit in my room and read

Sarah 32:52

I'm gonna get the Chronicles of Narnia and read it again and hope that I could disappear into a closet because no one will ever miss me.

Chris 33:01

You poor thing.

Sarah 33:03

good times. but that doesn't really cover all of my Thanksgiving Day injuries. because fast forward about 40 years, what were we doing in your backyard? So we're having Thanksgiving at your place. we had probably just run like a turkey trot or something. Cause I think we were in our athletic era.

Chris 33:21

I think it was no I think it was the first year we didn't run the turkey trot and because of that we decided to go outside and play football

Sarah 33:30

Turkey Bowl. We were going to do a turkey bowl. Me, you, Your husband was out there in the middle of what was the like the backfield between condo places I think

Chris 33:40

Yeah between the townhouses that wind tunnel between the townhouses.

Sarah 33:45

Your dad was there listening to Johnny Cash, watching Noah heat up a vat of oil for the fried turkey and me and you and the children, Owen and Olivia, we're gonna do a turkey bowl. And, Nina was the referee, I think,

Chris 34:01

Something like that. I'm not sure

Sarah 34:03

right? I think it was maybe three, three plays into it,

Chris 34:06

if

Sarah 34:06

three plays into

Chris 34:07

sure.

Sarah 34:07

It wasn't very long because I don't even remember getting cold. I went out for a pass or I was going to run something like I was showing off because I'm a competitive dick and, I stepped wrong on my foot. and did some damage to my knee and made a squeaky, a slightly squeaky noise. It went oh. And then I wanted to pretend like I was not hurt because the kids seemed to be having a good time. And then we had to call a halt to the turkey bowl because I had to come in and put peas on my knee.

Chris 34:36

I think it's important to let everyone know that the result of this injury was surgery.

Sarah 34:41

It was a meniscus, but definitely a real meniscus.

Chris 34:45

It wasn't like I just tweaked it a little bit. No, there was damage

Sarah 34:51

I really jacked that one up. This is also my already surgically repaired knee, I think later, this was Thanksgiving, and I think we went on a cruise, me and you, and the kids and Noah, that January or February, and,

Chris 35:06

In January. Hold on. I have to close the door because the family's home.

Sarah 35:10

okay,

Chris 35:11

Hi. Sorry.

Sarah 35:13

and we were in Paradise, I think, some sort of, Bahamas, Caribbean, some paradise I can't find on a map,

Chris 35:20

It was the Disney

Sarah 35:21

Castaway Cay, but it's pronounced Key, Castaway Key, Kay, Okay, and we were walking on these beautiful, pristine, white sand beaches, and and I stepped wrong, and I made a noise equivalent to that of a seal that had been clubbed in the head,

Chris 35:41

Baby seal clubbed in the

Sarah 35:43

clubbed in the head, and it was like a squeaky, it was like a squeaky sound, and you were like, don't ever make that noise in front of me again.

Chris 35:52

It was the most horrific noise I've ever heard in my life.

Sarah 35:55

I think that was I think three weeks before surgery was scheduled. So I should have known better than to be walking around on the sand. Like I knew that I had a significant boo. yeah, the doctor when I went to, when I went to get the MRI, He was like, how did this happen? Now this is in like December, maybe January, like right before we, we go on the Disney cruise. And he was like, now, how did this happen? I was like, turkey bowl. He was like, happens every year. Usually people don't wait until three months later, but come on in, let's get it taken care of.

Chris 36:28

yeah, I

Sarah 36:30

Great surgeon. also I recall, your dad took me to that surgery and, This is when I figured out your dad was too old to take anyone to surgery because I drove my cell phone

Chris 36:41

was gonna say that's when you had to drive home, right?

Sarah 36:44

He's I mean I had surgery. I it's general anesthesia He's what are we doing for lunch? do you want to stop at the copper kettle? So at lunch he had two beers. I was like, all right, i'll drive home from here. I'm good

Chris 36:57

Oh for the love.

Sarah 36:58

that's when we figured out, maybe we have a responsible adult take us for surgery

Chris 37:04

probably a good idea.

Sarah 37:06

Alright, so that's our Growing Up Gasser story of the week about my, Thanksgiving Day injuries and how I ruin everything.

Chris 37:13

Let's try to let's keep the injuries to the minimum this year

Sarah 37:17

I'm not going to make any promises.

Chris 37:19

Like zero.

Sarah 37:20

We'll see what we can do. Alright, let's talk about 10 percent Happier.

Chris 37:24

Yes.

Sarah 37:26

I've been holding that one in for a little bit. So it's the penultimate chapter, next to last chapter.

Chris 37:33

Why can't you just say next to last? here's what, I think you and attorneys just like to say shit so other people won't know them. So you, they think that you're smarter.

Sarah 37:43

that's why I do it. I don't know about

Chris 37:44

just say the next to last chapter. Why do you have to say whatever you just said?

Sarah 37:50

Penultimate. Because I know that word,

Chris 37:53

pen ultimate. it's two words.

Sarah 37:56

no, it's one word, penultimate.

Chris 37:58

penultimate? Penultimate. Okay.

Sarah 38:02

Right, and now you know it.

Chris 38:03

So speaking of this, Noah and I are in the car, Saturday and, Dirty Deeds comes on by ACDC

Sarah 38:10

Oh, no.

Chris 38:11

and, I was gonna sing and I was like, wait, what's he saying? Dirty Deeds. And they're done real cheap. And I was like,

Sarah 38:19

cheap.

Chris 38:20

or something like that, whatever, done dirt cheap. And I was like, oh. So he's not saying Dirty Deeds the Thunder Chief.

Sarah 38:28

Oh my god. I love you.

Chris 38:30

Dirty Deeds and the Thunder Chief.

Sarah 38:34

There,

Chris 38:34

Yep,

Sarah 38:35

a Van Halen song and the name of the song. I'm not even gonna tell the story because it's too embarrassing and I can't remember if the name of the song was right or I was right about what the words were.

Chris 38:46

They're my favorite. We should probably just do a whole episode on fucking up words.

Sarah 38:50

Desperado.

Chris 38:52

Eldorado. Yeah.

Sarah 38:54

Fun. good stuff. Alright, penultimate. Next to the last chapter, this is the case for not being a dick, right? Something like that.

Chris 39:03

yep. Yep. Yep. This is, he talks about that. He interviews the Dalai Lama.

Sarah 39:09

to be like a super,

Chris 39:11

Good.

Sarah 39:12

he's ready to be like a super asshole about it. And it turns out that the Dalai Lama's nice.

Chris 39:17

Yeah, and makes sense So I didn't know the Dalai Lama was really a thing but then I was I felt like I needed to look up the Dalai Lama a little bit more because then He said something about the Dalai Lama that came before this Dalai Lama Like I don't do can you explain the Dalai Lama to me because I don't understand it. Do you know

Sarah 39:36

He'd just pick a new one. Like when this one gets old, the

Chris 39:41

who picks them?

Sarah 39:42

the monks read the

Chris 39:43

Is it a Buddhist thing?

Sarah 39:45

I

Chris 39:45

Is it like the Pope?

Sarah 39:46

similar to the pope. except that the Dalai Lama is usually like two when you pick him, so he's like a little baby. It's not like he can present you with a resume.

Chris 39:55

that's what, that's, yeah,

Sarah 39:57

he just gets picked because there's like a rainbow over his house or

Chris 40:00

has an aura about him.

Sarah 40:03

Yeah, I think that's as much as I know. it is like a pope only without, grown ups.

Chris 40:07

Okay. All right. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Sarah 40:10

just hangs out and people tell him he's the Dalai I guess I should be chill then,

Chris 40:14

yeah, he's like, all right, I'll just be chill. And I, that's the first thing that Dan Harris is, likes about him is that, right off the bat, he asks him like, so you don't get, you don't get upset about anything? And he was, and Dalai Lama was like, yeah, I do.

Sarah 40:29

Yeah, I'm still a human being.

Chris 40:32

Yep, I sure do. And

Sarah 40:33

I like that whole thing because he gets to the end of that and He's this is everything that I don't like about Buddhism. This is everything that's religion oriented, and I don't dig it. But one of the last things he talks to the Dalai Lama about is, It is in your own self interest to be a nice, kind person. And, this is a debate that I think I've been having with people since Phoebe Buffay bought it up, brought it up during Friends. Where she and Joey were having a contest, I think, to be nice to somebody without getting anything back in return.

Chris 41:11

And that's exactly it.

Sarah 41:12

being nice to people is in your own self interest. It makes you happier. It makes other people happier. And if you can frame it like that, then it doesn't, you don't have to be all hippy dippy sappy about it. And Dan Harris is now that I can get behind.

Chris 41:29

Yeah.

Sarah 41:30

He's maybe not in practice.

Chris 41:32

Yeah. He's, he has a little bit of trouble with Like he knows he's like it's the compassionate part is what he's like. I'm not really sure I'm good at that I'm not really sure I can do that. I'm not really sure I can go that way But this is so this is something else I learned because he said meta and I'm pretty sure we talked about we've talked about Meta has been mentioned, but I never really knew what it was And that's M E T A.

Sarah 41:56

it comes up when he's doing the retreat, right? Like he's Oh, and then we did this gratitude or compassion meditation where I'm

Chris 42:04

Yeah, and that's what it is Let me see. I wrote it down. Love and kindness, love kindness meditation is what it is. So like today I did the meditation I did started with a little bit of meta. So it was all about thinking about someone that could use some extra love and extra kindness in their life and thinking about that person and wishing that upon them. And that's where that's the one in the retreat where he was thinking about his mom and he got all sappy.

Sarah 42:35

right. Exactly. Exactly. And then he comes back to that. He's it's really hard for me to wrap my head around that shit. But the Dalai Lama is think of it in ways that focusing on yourself and you get good shit out of doing good shit for other people. And it's really funny because I was listening to a podcast, coincidentally, the 10 percent happier podcast, and it was one that, it was one that I was having trouble with because it's about The economics of sharing, to put it in simple terms, like the economics of abundance and how do we create abundance within a community. And it's by, who he's interviewing, this lady's a botanist, and she's talking about this one bush that just produces more berries than it really needs to get its seeds out there. But, in producing more than it needs and sharing the abundance with everybody else, it feeds the entire community of, little critters and birds and ultimately, the things that eat the birds. Like, all of that nature stuff. And she's and I think if we would think about that, not just on an individual level where we're worried about hoarding our abundance and we're worried about keeping everything, and if we could find a way to open up and share in ways with our community, we would create an abundance where everybody would have what they needed. And I was like, what's up commie? We already know this system of government doesn't work. And Dan Harris is the same way. He's I don't know what you do instead of capitalism. So like the parallels between that and this chapter and she's like just think small like you don't have to You don't have to change an entire system of government to be a better person You don't have to change an entire system of government to appreciate flowers and trees in the natural world around you that is Continuing to feed you and make it possible for you to live someplace like She's worry about your interaction with your space and worry about your interaction with your community. She's start small and build from there. the same concept, it's in your self interest to have a relationship with the trees and the plants and the animals that live around you. Like the deer.

Chris 44:45

yeah, I love the deer. Damn I'm gonna cry about the

Sarah 44:48

so yeah, I, I think this chapter is bringing the meditation and the sort of opening of, oneself up to these experiences where it doesn't have to be religious, it doesn't have to be spiritual, it doesn't have to be hippie dippie. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. you do good things for other people because it makes you feel good as a person. And if you do them enough, then I think that you'll find keeping score and all of the stuff that we do when we're fighting against this instinct is nicer. You feel better. And there's scientific evidence and studies to, to prove it. that's what, that's my summary.

Chris 45:27

Yeah, I'm reading my paper here and says Science backs the notion of selfish compassion.

Sarah 45:34

Oh, I like selfish compassion.

Chris 45:36

Dalai Lama said, the, one of the first things I wrote down was, the practice of compassion is, to, is, this is him speaking, which I love. The practice of compassion is ultimately benefit to you.

Sarah 45:49

Ultimately a benefit to me.

Chris 45:51

we are selfish, but be wise, selfish rather than foolish, selfish.

Sarah 45:58

I mean it just goes on with, this is who we are as people. we're not meant, like we have to struggle to make this stuff work. I think is also like the sort of underpinning to that too. you're, we're selfish people. We're, we all are. That's just how we are as humans. And if we can find a way to be beneficial and selfish, then awesome.

Chris 46:20

And, so I'm going to read a little bit about the science of it, if that's okay with you. So there was a study of compassion meditation where it found that meditators released a significantly lower dose of the stress hormone called cortisol. and so practicing the compassion appear to be helping their bodies handle the stress and therefore. Reducing all that bad shit that comes with stress like heart disease, diabetes, dementia, cancer, depression. and then taking the meditation part of it out of it, there was even study done that just shows that acts of kindness. have an overwhelming positive effect on your health in general. The compassionate people tend to be healthier, happier, more popular, and more successful at work.

Sarah 47:08

Great. It's counterintuitive.

Chris 47:10

Yeah. And all of these things make you, can eventually make you a nicer person. Like I, I feel like Dan Harris feels at the end of this, he's wow, I can be a nice person and it makes me feel pretty good.

Sarah 47:24

Great.

Chris 47:25

And it makes other people happy, like this is, I'm seeing how all of this is going and he started what he called his, what did he call it? eye contact and smile policy.

Sarah 47:36

Not smile and wave. That was

Chris 47:38

not two,

Sarah 47:38

Madagascar.

Chris 47:39

but what he says about that. So he said, it's not that I never get annoyed anymore. In fact, when you're mindful, you feel irritation more keenly. However, once you unburden yourself from the delusion that people are deliberately trying to screw you, it's easier to stop getting carried away. As the Buddhists like to point out, everyone wants the same thing, happiness. But we go about it with varying levels of skill. If you spend a half hour on the cushion every day contending with your own ego, it's hard not to be more tolerant of others.

Sarah 48:12

I guess that's accurate. I guess that's accurate. Yeah, I think it's important for me to hear this today, perhaps, because I am so focused on how shitty I feel right now, today, and how shitty it is to have a cold sore on your lip, and how it's dark, and how, the chores pile up when you're not home. If I would just take a little bit of time, and meditate and, do some compassion, then maybe I wouldn't be so all up in my own growl.

Chris 48:45

I don't know. Maybe just think about, and I'm just making shit up, but it's not dark outside just to make you sad.

Sarah 48:52

It's not. It's dark because the sun is further away. That's why it's dark. it's not intentionally there to ruin my life. this cold show up because I've been traveling a lot and everything is really dry. And even though I tried to keep my lips moist, some little bacteria got in there and it fucked shit up. it's fine.

Chris 49:12

the worst. But I do have a problem with the irritation, because I get irritated very easily. hence the text I sent you from the waiting room at the car dealership today. I'm fairly certain the gentleman who was listening to TikTok loudly on his phone wasn't doing that intentionally, but here's what I'm thinking, cause I was actually typing this out as. This was happening. So I got to this point, unburden yourself from the delusion that people are deliberately trying to screw you. And I'm thinking, I don't give a fuck if this guy's trying to, I know he's not doing it just to piss me off. He's doing it because he's not fucking thinking because he's not giving a fuck about who's around him and fuck him for that.

Sarah 49:56

now, think about, because you're being a little bit more mindful, perhaps you're feeling the irritation just a little bit more keenly, which I think is the sentence before the one you just read.

Chris 50:06

exactly. So there's all the things, I'm like, okay, there's no reason that this should bother me. It's just something that's happening. I should just continue on doing what I'm

Sarah 50:14

it's allowed to bother you. I think that's the trick, ugh, that's bothering me.

Chris 50:19

but I need to not do the spiral of trying of what I just did. This motherfucker. what is going through his head? What is wrong with him? What the hell? What is wrong with this guy?

Sarah 50:31

You need to not give it legs. That's all.

Chris 50:33

Yeah. I have a major issue with that. I need to accept it and move on. So that's

Sarah 50:39

right. It's the

Chris 50:40

something I need to work on.

Sarah 50:42

It also strikes me as, how different you and I are, in that when I think about the meditation, I think about the things that I'm, like, inside of me, that are bad and wrong, and you think about the things outside of you that irritate you. do you know what I mean?

Chris 50:59

No, that's not, I'll defend myself in that one. That's not always what it is.

Sarah 51:03

Okay,

Chris 51:04

is sometimes, but there are times where I'm, I have to focus on what's fucked up inside me because there's a lot of that too.

Sarah 51:12

Good. not good. I,

Chris 51:14

No,

Sarah 51:14

nice to know that I'm just not alone in that one. So thanks.

Chris 51:17

yeah, no, there's definitely, I definitely have to work on that shit too. And get over that and get out of my own head because that's what I do. I fester in there. so no, it's not just me. Outside people it's not just I'm not just blaming other people for everything. I definitely have my own fucking issues

Sarah 51:36

so back to Compassion and doing little good deeds and that making us feel better. I miss When I was taking Olivia to soccer practice all the time We would drive through the Chick fil a and I would pay for the car behind me because I like doing that and it gave me like this little like hit of serotonin or dopamine like whatever makes people feel good And now that they just They take your credit card at the car. You don't get to do that at Chick fil a anymore. And I don't even go through drive thrus this much anymore. So I'm gonna have to find another random act of kindness to do somewhere.

Chris 52:11

I did learn that I have to ask what the total is behind

Sarah 52:14

They bought lunch for the whole office. It was 75 bucks. I was like, now I'm committed.

Chris 52:19

Literally, it was like 60 worth of food. The one time I was like, what?

Sarah 52:24

Now I'm just pissed. Fuck.

Chris 52:26

mother, all

Sarah 52:27

All

Chris 52:28

I said, lesson learned. I'll ask next time.

Sarah 52:30

like I try to look in the car and see if there's one or two people or seven.

Chris 52:34

Yeah. I have no clue. What was it? I have no clue what happened. That was a Taco Bell.

Sarah 52:39

Jesus. They buy everything at the store.

Chris 52:41

It's holy fuck. Did you ask him how many times they say, how many tacos you got in there? I'll take them all. Fuck.

Sarah 52:48

Give me all the meat. What?

Chris 52:51

What the fuck? So did you read, did you get to the Paris Hilton part, his interview with Paris Hilton?

Sarah 52:57

I got to the part where they were like, where Paris Hilton was like, you're not using that. And he was like, I don't fucking work for you.

Chris 53:03

Yeah. Basically. Yeah. And that's pretty much all it is at the end of the day. but the thing that came back on that one, like I found it funny because he's talking about, that's. and just, journalists live for that to get someone to walk away from an interview. this is something that I feel like he would be proud of. and then, after everything. happened, he was called rude by people and judged for how he acted in that interview. And he was Oh, so before that wouldn't have bothered him. Like he wouldn't even have listened to that. He wouldn't even have heard that. But now he's, Now that he has this, he's working on this compassion part of him, he's Oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that. So it's, it has that other effect to it, which I actually think is a good effect. but, Yeah, so that's the end of the chapter and I was looking here just to see because he, he makes a statement at the end. hold on, No, I can't find it. But basically he makes a statement that the next chapter is really gonna get into all of this kind of coming to a head for him. I hate that, that term.

Sarah 54:13

Everything gathering together in one spot.

Chris 54:16

Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm just looking for it. Uhhhh Yeah, I don't know. Didn't make you lose your edge, how your meditation was your superpower, blah blah blah. Hoisted, hoisted on my own. What's the word P E T A R D, petard?

Sarah 54:33

That one I would need in a sentence.

Chris 54:35

Okay, here I'll read the sentence to you. After all my nattering on about how Buddhism didn't make you lose your edge, how meditation was a superpower, and blah blah blah, I would be hoisted on my own petard.

Sarah 54:49

would be embarrassed by his own thinking.

Chris 54:51

So that's what we're gonna get into in the next chapter. I like that because I think of you when I read Dan Harris, because he uses lots of words like that, because he's a journalist and smart like that and has to use words like that because that's what you should do. and I have to look them up and I'm like, motherfucker, why can't you just use normal fucking words?

Sarah 55:09

What can't you just say? I have a bit of egg on my face in the next chapter. Perfect. Perfect.

Chris 55:14

Yeah, can we do that? Yeah, so the next chapter, Hide the Zen, that is the last chapter. It's a pretty long one.

Sarah 55:22

that one.

Chris 55:22

yeah, I'm

Sarah 55:23

does bring everything all together.

Chris 55:25

to read it. Not that I haven't been excited to read anything else, but yeah, I'm excited to read that. And then we need to start discussing what we're doing next. the

Sarah 55:37

here's what I think. we need to circle back. So we need to do a little bit of a three book, three book review, right? Because I tend to think of these three books together. So the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, the Atomic Habits, and in this one, and pick up Some of the threads that we left dangling in the subtle art of not giving a fuck. When it talks about your values and when it talks about atomic habits and lining the your habits up with your values and what Dan Harris is going to bring us through the next chapter, like this meditation stuff does change. Fundamentally how you view the world. So are we better equipped now to talk about values? Are we better equipped to talk about lining our habits up with our values and What is that? What does that really mean? can we dig a little bit deeper into we say all the time we want to be we want to be better people, but what's that mean? What's that? what is that? Is that having more compassion? is that sticking to values in a different way? Is it valuing the lives of these kitty cats that live with me more than most of the people I meet during the day? what are the values that are driving and fundamental to who I am? Do those line up with what I do when I'm at my job? maybe we get into a little bit of workbooking.

Chris 56:57

I think that's a good idea. I think that's a great idea. And also we will hopefully next week be releasing another bare bones.

Sarah 57:08

Probably the week after. maybe next week.

Chris 57:10

Okay. And the

Sarah 57:11

soon, in the next two weeks, we've got two in the can, as they say in the industry, which I will need to edit and get off to their respective authors. And now that I am not spending 86 percent of my time in a hotel or an airport lounge, the odds of me getting that done are pretty high this week.

Chris 57:28

yeah, so good. So the next one we're going to release is an interview with Michelle Kapotz. She's a transformational coach.

Sarah 57:36

And all around good girl.

Chris 57:38

Yes, just a great person. And, we're going to release that and then I'll start doing some talking cause I've actually started working with her one on one,

Sarah 57:46

Yeah,

Chris 57:47

getting better. it's pretty cool. My experiences with her have been pretty cool and there's many still to come that I'm excited about. So we'll get into that too.

Sarah 57:57

and we're also gonna read this email that, that the podcast people sent us about five mistakes that lose listeners. Because I will

Chris 58:05

made all of them.

Sarah 58:07

that we did all of them. That'll be just fun, fun for us. It's in our, it's in our email. I was a little bit distracted by it.

Chris 58:14

Where is it?

Sarah 58:15

it is from November 12th.

Chris 58:17

Oh five mistakes, I think we should just read it now

Sarah 58:20

I'm scared not

Chris 58:21

oh, it's an actual podcast. You have to

Sarah 58:24

Oh, you have to listen to a podcast? My god. I think I know where we've gone wrong.

Chris 58:29

dumb Okay. All right. Sounds good. I think we're done for the day.

Sarah 58:34

Yeah, that's that was a good win. thank you. Love you.

Chris 58:37

Okay. Love you. Bye

Sarah 58:38

Love you. Bye.