The Mental Funny Bone

Episode 60: Our Bad Reputation

• Gaster Girls • Season 6 • Episode 13

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Welcome to another episode of the 'Mental Funny Boat' podcast where Christine is joined by Sarah, and Becca to discuss mental health, wellness, and more.. Chris shares an hilarious exchange about losing a wallet, dealing with customer service, and the absurdity of life's little mishaps. The episode covers mental health themes, book discussions on 'Self-Compassion' by Kristin Neff and 'The Burnout Society' by Byung-Chul Han, while also touching on personal stories about achieving balance and finding joy in life's chaos. This episode combines deep thoughts and hearty laughs, reminding listeners that self-care and humor go hand-in-hand.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Speaker:

Hello. Welcome to the Mental Funny Boat. This is a podcast where we advocate for mental health, uh, awareness, mental wellness, and taking a step back and kind of focusing on what's important, which isn't current events.

Speaker 2:

Yeah,

Speaker:

that's what I got for you guys. I'm Christine. With me, as always, is Garth, my sister Sarah.

Speaker 3:

Cool. And for the life of me cannot think of one Wayne's world quote to say right now. Fuck. Party on Wayne. There you go. All right. It's right. Swing. Yeah,

Speaker 2:

that's all I could think of. I was close. I was close.

Speaker:

And Becca is also here. Sarah, before you joined, Becca and I were talking about what might make the executive jam that I'm attending this week. More fun is if we all had like walkup music, like baseball players.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker:

What would Iris be? Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. Wow. Right. Even though it, like none of it is true, like, like if I wanted something that didn't represent my personality at all, it would be bad reputation.

Speaker 3:

Is there a song about Stephen King and Token books? Is that token, is that right? Is that the. Okay. That is the guide. Is there a song about people who read those books? Like, I feel like that should be your song.

Speaker 4:

Like I want it to be Joan Jett. Bad Reputation, but it's more like Enya. Like, do you remember Enya from the nineties? Yeah. Like just like flowy people pleasing music. Like so non-confrontational. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

It's a very manalow, yeah.

Speaker:

Elevator music. Yeah. And who's the, who's

Speaker 3:

the other fucking guy? Kenny G. Kenny G. Oh my gosh. You know this guy with a hair,

Speaker 2:

a signature from Kenny G.

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's amazing. Shocked at all. Did your dad get that for you?

Speaker 2:

Told me. Yeah. He, I used to play the ax.

Speaker 3:

Fun

Speaker 2:

you used to. Sorry, Kenny G. If you listen to the podcast, I failed you. But I hope Kenny G listens to the podcast. Kenny G listens to the podcast. Welcome. I'm a big fan of board game. Welcome, big fan. Welcome. Kenny.

Speaker 3:

What board game? What are you talking about?

Speaker 2:

Kenny G has an incredible board game.

Speaker 3:

Shut the fuck up.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's it's phenomenal. It's so good. I, what is happening?

Speaker 3:

I must look this up on Amazon right now. Yeah, I can't. I have a gift card for Amazon because I've worked for my company for 10 years and that's what I got.

Speaker:

You worked at the same company for, you've sold railroad ties for 10 years.

Speaker 3:

Well see, that's the thing. I've been here for 10 years, but I've changed jobs. I've see, I, I've been in this one, I'm on my fourth year for this one, so that will break some sort of record. But I mean, all the same company, all in the same area. Place ish. I started out inside sales. I went to account manager and now I'm in it, but I am the support bitch for the sales group, so. Is that what it says on

Speaker:

your business cards?

Speaker 3:

That's what it should say. Support pitch. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I'm just thinking of a very professional photo of you, and it's like you just support

Speaker 3:

pitch. Uh, that's me. Yay. What am I looking up? Oh, Kenny G. Is board Kenny Cheap Board Game

Speaker 2:

as a Gen Z. Um, one of the things that we really like to do is watch people play video games and keeping

Speaker 3:

itsy Sorry, sorry, go ahead. Yeah,

Speaker 2:

yeah, that's, that sounds, that sounds about right. And I watch, um, game Grumps. They played a very, very funny play through of

Speaker 3:

Wow, the

Speaker 2:

Kenny G game.

Speaker 3:

I don't know.$9 might be too much.

Speaker 2:

No, it's a lifetime worth of memories. I swear to you. This game is so funny. Like, well, it's in my cart. It's iest events too. It's so good.

Speaker:

Oh,

Speaker 2:

alright. My God.

Speaker:

Do you guys, do you guys wanna hear, um, do you guys wanna hear Positive catch Corner today? Yes. So I, I had a very exciting day after having to pay the attention deficit hyperactivity disorder tax of losing my wallet, misplacing my wallet. I'm pretty sure I know where my wallet is, uh, at. I'm, I'm 99% sure I left it in the rental car because driving back from my last business trip, I paid for gas, which would indicate that I had my wallet. In the rental car. And then when I went to look for it two days later after being home, there was no wallet. So I then had to call Avis. And when you call Avis, they make you fill out a form, a lost and found form, but they also list out all the shit that they found. And on the day that I lost my wallet, there's a wallet that was found. I was like, well, that seems positive, right? Mm-hmm. So I fill out my form and then like a little bit later they send me an email and say, we're sorry we haven't been able to locate your wallet. I'm like, bitch, it's right there, bitch. It's right there. I don't understand why you can't match that missing wallet with this one. That was found like, and also my name is inside of it, and on the form, I'm not understanding why I can't have my wallet.

Speaker 3:

Are you 100% positive it's your wallet and no one else lost their wallet? No. Okay.

Speaker:

No, no. I mean, I'm, I'm going with like the crime theory that all of the evidence is circumstantial for sure. But I feel like I have a pretty strong case. Like if I was prosecuting this, I would definitely have gone to the district attorney and been like, I think we're going to take this guy to court. We're. Going forward. So what I did was I drove out to the airport earlier this week, like before I had to be there for this trip, and I questioned the people at Avis. Very

Speaker 2:

fair, very fair.

Speaker:

I was like, Hey man, who works behind the counter and who does not want me here? I was like, this says that you guys found a wallet. Can I see that wallet? Can I just, you don't have to give it to me. I just wanna look at it. I just wanna look at it because I will feel better if I know that it isn't mine. He is like you, the policy is you have to fill out the form. I'm like, I've already filled out the form. I've already filled out the form I filled and, and you've already told me that you haven't found my wallet, but there's this wallet and I am worried that this is my wallet and for some reason you guys aren't able to match it with whatever. And I. Can I just see the wallet that you found? And he was like, that's not how it works.

Speaker 2:

He said, that's not how it works.

Speaker:

Yeah. He was like, this isn't, we have a, we have a way to do this. I was like, well, do you have like a box with the stuff in it? Because what I would like you to do is just go to that box and bring out the wallet. And he was like, that's, he's like, do you need a manager? And I was like, you know what? Yeah. I'm so sorry. I've reached the point in my life where I would like. To talk to your manager. So I talked to the manager. The manager comes out and he's like, did you fill out the form? Like it was a comedy special. Did you fill out the form? Anyway, I left the airport without my wallet and without seeing the wallet that was there. So

Speaker 3:

did, I mean, they have to check the wallet to see if your name is on the stuff and then tell you no, that's not your wallet. Right? Yes.

Speaker:

I would assume. Okay. Except for the, is that what they

Speaker 3:

did when they don't came back and said, we don't have your wallet?

Speaker:

No. No, because they're not that nobody, nobody there looked, nobody there looked for my wallet.

Speaker 3:

Like, stop fucking playing with your hair. Can't. Okay, go ahead.

Speaker:

Can't.'cause it's so pretty until long now. Yeah. They, you fill out a form, they take all this stuff and apparently they put it in a locked up vault like Fort Knox and then they look at your form and try to match it up with the wallet.'cause I did describe the wallet. I'm like, it's. Brown and leather.

Speaker 3:

So how do you know that they did not check the inside of your wallet to match up your name? I don't.

Speaker:

I don't. I'm just, I'm just angry. And did you

Speaker 3:

call, did you call Avis?

Speaker:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I called Avis again and they're like, well, the way that you get your stuff back is, uh, you fill out the form.

Speaker 3:

I mean, after that, like after you talked to the people at Avis?

Speaker:

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker:

Yeah, I was like, can you just explain to me why I can't. Can you just send me a picture? Like, I don't even have to be there if you think I'm gonna snag the wallet. I just, they're like, we, we don't have it. It goes to a different department. Can I speak to that department?

Speaker 3:

May I speak to that department?

Speaker:

They were like, no, they're, this isn't a department that talks to the public. I was like, okay, well you guys have my wallet and wouldn't you like to. Wouldn't you feel some sort of job satisfaction if you were able to return my wallet because I am taking your parents to Raleigh tomorrow and I need to rent a car, which I can't do without my fucking wallet. So

Speaker 3:

maybe, maybe it's time to move to the next step. I've given up. I've given up. They can keep my wallet. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Like it's, they're not, I'll find your wallet and it, it might not give, it might not really be your wallet.

Speaker:

It might not, it might not. Like I have to, so I have to accept the fact that maybe I did, maybe I threw my wallet away, which is what I always think when I can't find something. I've obviously thrown it in the trash. Maybe that is what happened.

Speaker 3:

But now, but here's the good news is mommy and daddy are old enough to rent cars. Yeah. So is David. Oh, okay. David's gonna be there too. Yeah. Um, I'm sad I'm not going.

Speaker:

Also, Becca picture this, Becca, have you met my mom and dad? Yes. Oh yeah. At our anniversary party. These two people need to get through airport security

Speaker 3:

and they're cute. They're cute.

Speaker:

The last time I took Nita through airport security, she just checked her purse on her shoulder and strolled right on through the metal detector. They were like, ma'am, awesome. She said, what? My vape's in here. I can't leave this. She's like, I'm not, no, she didn't. I'm sorry. Just a cute, wrong mouse. She's like, oh, I'm just a teeny little bird. So David has to get, uh, Nita and Jumbo through security and himself and himself. Right. I can't imagine it going well. You

Speaker 2:

know? At least, at least they're in good hands. So,

Speaker 3:

back to the wallet.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Wallet.

Speaker 3:

It's gone. You need to start the process of canceling. I hope you canceled shit in it already.

Speaker:

Well, I just monitored my credit cards, so this is why I think that my wallet is stuck at at Avis because nobody. Is using these like it hasn't been stolen, move

Speaker 3:

past Avis. It's time to move past Avis.

Speaker:

I know, I know, I know. Um, maybe call them one more

Speaker 3:

time and just ask for another manager.

Speaker:

Is Mr. Avis there

Speaker 3:

or ask them for detail? Like they have to tell you what their pro like, okay. I filled out the fucking form. I get it. I filled out the fucking form. What happens with that? Did someone physically open the wallet and check to see if my name was in it? I feel like that's really what you need to know. Like I don't wanna know if someone looked at the description of it and misinterpreted it. I want to know that someone opened the wallet and made sure my name wasn't in it like you should, and I'm not getting off the phone until someone confirms that. That's all I need to confirm. That's it. That's it. Order a new driver's license, start ordering new shit.

Speaker:

I, well, the first thing I did was ordered a new wallet. Well, of course. Why? When I ordered,

Speaker 5:

when I ordered so excited,

Speaker:

when I ordered a new wallet, I was like, well, this doesn't match any of my other purses. I have to order a new purse. I have to get a new purse. And

Speaker 3:

I was like, oh. And they have a sunglass case. That matches. Yeah, I should get that too. Why, why not? That matches this wallet. Mm-hmm. But I did that is lose, I didn't act. I know where my wallet is. It's, I know where, where my wallet is. It's, but I'm gonna order this coordinating set of shit. This it

Speaker:

was, and as, as I was doing it, I was like, well this is. Seems like a lot of money to replace a wallet. And then I was like, oh, you know what I saw the other day? I saw this gorgeous Mark Jacobs purse. I was like, I'm gonna get that. I don't even know who

Speaker 3:

Mark Jacobs is.

Speaker:

He makes purses.

Speaker 2:

He makes purses.

Speaker:

Is he friends

Speaker 3:

with Michael Coors? Yes. So like a

Speaker 4:

neighbors. That's

Speaker:

cute. Yeah. That's cute. They hang out. They were actually in cahoots and then yeah, shit went bad. So now they're like rivals instead of cahooting. I'm. Rebelling against

Speaker 3:

purses Currently. I don't understand what you've said. My, the, my last purse purchase was, uh, 8 99 from Amazon, and it's literally the one of the best purses I've ever owned.

Speaker:

I here. Well, here's how I ended up losing my wallet, because

Speaker 3:

God, I'm sick of this fucking wallet already.

Speaker 4:

I switched purses for the cruise and

Speaker:

then couldn't keep track of everything. Like they were just, it was just too much. It was, it wasn't in the right place. Lot like the, that's a lot. Pockets were wrong. Um, anyway, so, uh, so, so yeah. Um, also before I drove out to the airport, I went to the psychiatrist and she agreed that I have a attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, new psychiatrist. So I went through all the questions. She's like, do you have trouble sitting still? I'm like, no, that's the only one I don't have. She's like, I'm like, I can sit still fairly easily as I shake my leg right now, but nice lady. Refilled my prescription and I left that at home.

Speaker 2:

You guys, you're doing great. Yeah, you're doing awesome. Great. Yeah, no, it's all good. It's all good. Do we just wanna get up and leave for Europe? Yeah. I've made this proposition to mom so many times where anything that frustrates me now, I just am like, listen, we are too sad. We could be in Paris in a four story club right now.

Speaker 3:

Ooh. And we wanna, I'm sure that's where I wanna be. I'd like to be a Paris. I'm not sure about the The club. It's very loud. Becca. Becca. We have a lot of ears on you. You could go to the club and just come home and tell us how it was. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'll probably go once and then be like, I'm terrified. Never again. Yeah. I mean that's con Everybody hates me. I left.

Speaker 4:

I mean, Becca, we'll go.

Speaker:

We'll go, but we're gonna be like this the whole time.

Speaker 3:

Or super drunk that you'll have to babysit.'cause that's the only way I'll be able to deal with it.

Speaker 2:

Honestly. That would be so much fun.

Speaker 3:

I mean. Where is Sarah? She fell down the steps again. Fuck. Four stories. She fell down. Three of'em just bounced off the wall. Story went down. The other one, I'm gonna story bounced off the wall and down the other one.

Speaker:

Um, also in positive news, after today, uh, we're gonna start, we're gonna start talking about a book by Kristen Neff, I think. Mm-hmm. Called, uh, Self-Compassion. Sarah, we need to read this before we go on our meditation retreat.

Speaker 3:

Good. Let me add that in. I'm just not just gonna stop sleeping. It's really the only way. You have a lot going on. I can do it

Speaker:

there. There there is, there's many chapters in this book that are, that are sort of geared for maybe, maybe you don't have to do it. You don't have to do everything all at once. I don't. Here's my

Speaker 3:

problem. Um, someone needs to help me figure out what I do need to do then.'cause I kind of need to make some extra money.

Speaker:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

I kind of need to not leave you guys anymore. Um. The making the extra money actually takes like a lot of fucking effort. So especially in the beginning, which is where I am, and there's lots of parts to that, like a lot more than just typing up an email here and there, or a post here and there. There's a lot going on. My kid is 16 and learning how to drive still, and in the depths of a soccer season, I have my real job, which is actually. Stupidly busy right now, so, so yeah, I do my real job. I mean, I'm wake, I'm waking up at 5:00 AM I'm sitting in this chair all of my time, except for when I need to do something for Owen. And then I go to bed between like 11 and 12, and then I do it all over again. So I am well aware, speaking of mental health, that I am not doing myself any good, but

Speaker:

I Do you remember when were having this conversation with me exactly.

Speaker 3:

Know what to. Do,

Speaker:

do you remember February and March where I was?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Like I, I'm not sad. I just, I mean, have a lot to do and I need to figure out a better way to get it done. That will work so well. If there's anything I can do, um, I don't know. Duplicate me. I don't know.

Speaker:

Becca, I think we already talked about you being able to genetically, what's it called? What did they do? Clone? Yes, that's it. Cloning. Like Dottie, the sheep. Was it Dotty? Yeah. I was just gonna say like the sheep.

Speaker 2:

No,'cause I'm literally just my mom. I already know how it works, so I can, I can get it going. Don't worry.

Speaker 3:

Is it absolutely accurate? I'm sweating. I'm, I'm sorry. I don't know if anybody realized what I just did. I'm kind of sweating because I have my switch'cause it's pure for once. Um, so I have my sweatshirt on and I have a thermal long sleeve shirt on under it. So I was really cold, but now I've drank the second cup of hot coffee and I'm sweating and I don't have a bra on. So what I just did was I lifted my boobs up. And I put my shirt under the,

Speaker 2:

that's what that I'm doing right now. I'm, and I so much

Speaker 3:

more, it feels so much better. It

Speaker:

actually cooled me off a protective layer between we went, uh, Becca, your mom and I went to school with a girl who would store markers in that, in that same spot.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. Why?

Speaker:

Like, what? I don't Why?

Speaker 2:

You never know. You never know. You've been there to carry them around. There's. Yeah, I mean, carry them around. She

Speaker 3:

like, just'cause you're gonna need a fucking marker. Did she not have a purse? I'm guessing, which is, or backpack like was that what she carried? Did she throw a fucking textbooks under there too? You have a lot of questions. Hold on. Lemme get my book out. You have a lot of questions. Just, I just, that's literally the last place I would be like, oh, well I have to carry this. Where should I put it? I don't know. I have a pocket, I have a backpack, I have a purse, I have boob. No, I have under boob.

Speaker:

Okay, let me just stick her on in there. This girl's nickname was Caboodles too, so she also had one of those. We, we went on a, uh, went on an overnight trip and everyone's got like their luggage and stuff, and she just comes with the

Speaker 3:

caboodle. Caboodles love a caboodle. I was like, is that a caboodle? Do you know what? When saying caboodle, do you remember those things? So we had all these different things, I'm sure we do now, but I don't pay attention. That will curl your hair. Do you remember the little nub things that you wrapped your hair around and then like Yes. Popped it. They looked like little pop-up thingies. Yeah, they

Speaker:

looked like, uh, like washers, sort of. Yeah. And they were, they had like rubber, like neoprene or something on it. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

I forget what those are called. Popup hair curls. I don't know. That's what like Google it. I think it was my dream at that point in my life to have a huge ass caboodles just filled with those things. That makes sense. And I don't know why.'cause I never curled my hair. Like my hair's never curled. I'm trying to, I'm not sure why I would want that. Like

Speaker:

this beautiful blonde afro from that I mean thing.'cause that's what it would do. It would just super curlier

Speaker 3:

hair. It would, it would never be cute for the main reason of, I can't focus on shit that long. And it was way worse back then. So like I'd get two in and be like, fuck. And then I would just be grabbing huge chunks and it, it would just come out like my hair would actually come out, I'm pretty sure. Anyway. Love

Speaker:

it. There you have it. Um, there you have it. Alright, we're gonna, we're gonna skip gastro story of the week because I'm gonna tell a big one next week when we get back from Raleigh and. Kind of a shorter episode this week.'cause I have to be downstairs in the lobby and also on a meeting at eight o'clock. So I have a couple of things. I have two places at once and I haven't yet accepted. I can't do it. So, I mean, why, why would you accept that? Want to tell you guys about a book we were reading. I have, I have my notes on my phone, so that's what I'm looking at.

Speaker 3:

Oh, okay. Um, I got a new phone. I'm sorry. I'm gonna hijack one more time. I got it. Yeah, yeah. Got a new phone. New fun, a new phone. The company, the company gives me my phone, so they sent it to me, shout out to our IT department. I opened a ticket like late on Thursday and got my phone on Friday, which is pretty fucking awesome. It's, and, and normally our company's way behind on versions or whatever they're called, but it's actually a 16, which I hear from Owen. The 17 is the latest, like it's, it's not too old. Yeah. Um, so I was happy with that. What I'm not happy with is the fact that I am old now. Can't just seamlessly slide into the new phone like you would think it's a lot easier these days. You just do the backup thing, throw your shit, and like it looked all normal. I was like, great. All my shit's there fantastic. But every time I hit a fucking app, I have to log into something and I, and it doesn't have my password. And then I had the work authenticator thing and everything with my work logged me out and I, and I would go into the authenticator. And the authenticator would ask me for to go to, would give me a number to put into the authenticator before I could log into the authenticator. And I was like, I don't, I can't get into you to give you the number. I don't under two days. Two days for me to figure it out. And then I wondered like, why am off track this week as far as getting shit done?'cause I spent so much fucking time and that's not even like a quarter of the apps on my phone. I have to figure out right now. Every time I open something, I'm like, fuck, we got the car yesterday. I was like, Owen, throw that on Waze. Which by the way, my phone also will not connect to my Apple CarPlay, so I'm fucking annoyed. Um, and Owen goes to log into Waze and he's like, uh, you, you have to log in. I was like, I don't my fucking password. So he's trying to, I'm like, I don't, dude. I don't know. Throw the fucking fun out the window. Just throw it out the window.

Speaker:

Fuck it. It's extreme. B, did you go to Google Maps?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I mean, I had a map on my car, but I like the Waze. I like listening to the Waze. The map on my car sucks, so I just, it does. I just like the ways and yeah. So I was like, yeah. Yeah. So the challenges of being a middle age, are we middle aged?

Speaker:

Yeah, we're beyond,

Speaker 3:

yeah, a little. That's what I meant. Like I wasn't thinking that I was younger than middle aged. Wondering if I've gone past it. So being someone of the age that's a little bit past middle, things like this are gonna become a little more challenging, I guess. I'm like, I don't, anyway, I love my new phone though, and it has new things on it that are really fun. Like this new thing, the playground. Do you know what the playground is? No. Let me show you. It made this little thing for me. I said, I said, draw a miniature schnauzer. Hey, by the way, I don't have time to do fucking shit, but I did this yesterday, draw a miniature schnauzer, a black miniature schnauzer, and it did that. And then it Wait, it looks

Speaker:

like it looks like yours.

Speaker 3:

It does. And then that, that, that's was be a picture. Me. I don't know where I am, but yeah. Do you work at a hot dog place? I don't know, but it literally, it will just. Describe an image and it'll make a cartoon. I don't know. And it has, and there's invites on it. I could do invites like ev invitees, but apple, apple vices. I dunno if that's anyone. Apples. Is that German?

Speaker 4:

Apple vices? Apple vice.

Speaker 3:

Okay,

Speaker 4:

carry on. I was gonna say, so, um, you're just carry on, carry on my way. With fun. You're

Speaker:

holding up a great song. You're holding up pictures on this medium that is just for ears. If wanna see picture, it'll on the

Speaker 5:

pictures.

Speaker:

Go to the YouTubes. Go to the YouTubes. Do you guys wanna hear about the Burnout Society?

Speaker 3:

Yeah.'cause I have it and I really do wanna read it on top of the other four. Can you just hold, do you have it near? Can you hold it up? Oh, I have all the books. Actually. It's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, including the one we're actually going to read. The Burnout Society. It's a cute, I got it. And I was like, Ooh, that's tiny. I'll be able to get through that in no time. Haven't even fucking opened it yet.

Speaker:

I mean, when you open it, when you do get around to it in a decade, um, yeah, you're, you will find that it is, uh. He is, uh, small but dense, very, very packed with neuron. A lot of neuro, neuro

Speaker 3:

neuronal power. Neuronal. Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Neuro, neuro neuronal. I mean, I know the

Speaker 3:

neuro, but I mean the, the anal at the end, it's from the, it's from the ass part of the brain. Shithead. No,

Speaker 2:

we can't do this. It's, it's from the shank of

Speaker 3:

the brain.

Speaker 2:

It's so early. Please don't make me laugh at anus jokes.

Speaker 3:

It doesn't even say anal, it just ends with Al and I felt like I turned it into You just filled in anal cool. And just turned it into anal.

Speaker:

So I got the audio book and when I downloaded it, it was, it was like two hours and 20 minutes and I was like, perfect, perfect. Sweet. Like this is like a drive to the airport and back. I, I didn't make it like out of my neighborhood before. I was like, wait a minute, I am gonna need to actually see these words on a page because he, like the guy reading it was saying a lot of words and I was like, uh huh. Uhhuh. Right, right. Yeah. Like, uh, society based on, um, germs and, and getting rid of the other. And, and then, and then there's a lot of large words. Otherness. And I was like, okay. But now that we're not worried about otherness, we're worried about being the same as everybody, like we're not, it was, it was dense. So what I did is when I need to learn about something new these days, I asked my friend Chad to help me. He solid. And that is where, is where I got my information. So I did, I did finish the rest of it. I didn't read it, but I did listen to the rest of it and the entire time. I'm like, so what? Oh wait,

Speaker 3:

hold

Speaker:

on, hold on.

Speaker 3:

The achievement subject stands free from any external instance of domination, which is also known as Hershe stands, right? That's the kind of words that are in, it's German.

Speaker:

This guy's German, so the original title was, was. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously German. Yeah, I

Speaker 3:

definitely did not think he was German. Actually,

Speaker:

the original title of this book was Maite Shaft Schnitzel Alweiss, which roughly translates Al. No, not Anal Vice. That's different.

Speaker 3:

I'm sorry. I know I'm throwing us off track, but this is really doing great things for my brain right now, like it's making me so happy. Anal vice

Speaker:

is something you find at a playground.

Speaker 2:

I feel like I'm in study hall again and I am with my delirious friends and it's like we just all rolled up and we're like so

Speaker 3:

tired and we dunno what the fuck is going on. And Sarah keeps saying ain't old.

Speaker:

Stop saying anal anyway, like the crux, if you will, of the book is about. How we've moved from a, uh, more authoritarian society where things are very prescriptive, like you will, you must, you, should you do or not should. You must. These are, these are the rules about how you go from elementary school to executive job and you have to fulfill all of these requirements along the way to this performative uh, society where there is so much pressure to always be the best and always be. Positive and always be happy, always be in shape, always be like, but these are, these are internal battles. And it, it's about the fact that when you place so much emphasis on perfection and positivity, you don't leave any room for mistakes or errors. That everything becomes sort of this flat affect where nothing is joyous and nothing is, you know. Celebratory. It's just perfection, perfection, perfection, perfection. And the burnout part of that is that you just get so tired of chasing perfection and constantly pretending that you, you have performed at this, this peak level that there's, you just burn out like. The way that he describes Attention Deficit Disorder, that that sort of manifests later in life is that there's so much, so much happening all the time and everything is just as important as everything else because nothing can be less important, like. Your job is important. Your son is important. Your new, uh, your new side gig is important. Your health is important, your meditation is important, your podcast is important. If everything is important, then nothing has any joy in it. Everything is just an urgent thing that needs to be done, and you can't pick which one of these is more important, because that then means that the other stuff is not important. It's like the,

Speaker 3:

and I love, thank you. I love how you brought me into it and I dig that, dig that. But it's the same thing that I've not been thinking about. Like it's the trade off. Like you've, you, there's going to be a trade off. You can't, that cannot just be a flat line all the time. You, there's gotta be a trade off somewhere. And I've been really bad at. Trading off. So yes,

Speaker 2:

I've been celebrating everything. I have a little post-it note on my bathroom that says you will never, you're not gonna go throughout life and be like, man, I celebrated too much. So literally, I cheer for myself this morning. I got up and I was like, I woke up at 6:00 AM I said, yay. And then I got up and I con continued. Like that's been the only thing that's been helping me because I feel like everything is important. So now I'm like just, oh, I did something. Yay. Okay, awesome. And that immediately giving myself a little yay and then continuing on is great. That's all I got.

Speaker:

But it's exactly the idea of the book is that we're, we're so burned out as a society because we're constantly putting so much pressure and when we can't perform, when we can't do stuff, then it's the appearance of having done it. Like then it just becomes all about this like level flat and there's really, it's really hard to come by any real. Joy because the way that you, the way that you feel accomplished is that you go through things that are challenging and you do things that are hard and you like, you lose your wallet and then decide to buy a new purse and yeah, this, this book ties so well into the self-compassion book because Yeah, they are like opposite sides of the spectrum. This one is really. This one is really a philosophical book about the way that, the way that society is set up and it's really deep and it's really dense, and I really enjoyed it. Um, kind of like, I like the, again, like I have been having daily debates about Mel Robbins with people and I, you know, just to be clear, she's right. Like Mel Robinson is right about most of the shit she says. Mm-hmm. I just. Don't like the way she says it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I was actually just listening to Mark Batson this morning and, um, him and Drew Bernie were talking about woo woo shit and manifestation and stuff, and, and my man Mark was like, yeah, I'm about to eat a little bit of humble pie. So they were talking about. Manifestation. But Mark Manson said the same thing that I've been saying forever. Like it's not about laying on your couch and being like, wow, I wish I wasn't 800 pounds. And then you lose weight. Like you de pretty much need to be in the thick of things. You need to be in a challenge period. And you need to, that's when your mindset kicks in. Like, I can do this when you're, what's his nuts? What's his name? David Morgans. Is that his name? Joe Rogan? No. Um oh, Goggins. Goggins. We could talk about him another time, but he's like crazy. Insane mindset. Does like crazy shit that, anyway, when you're in the thick of that, when you're running a marathon, when you're running like. Marathon's back to back and you're running a hundred some miles. Like these are things these wacko people do. I'm sorry, not wacko. They just, these, these are people have different interests than me. They're able to do shit that there's no way I could ever do. Anyway, mark Manson was talking about the same thing. It's not. It's not just sit there, think about something and you get it. You have to put fucking effort into it. I'm sorry, I don't think that's where we were going with the Mel Robbins thing, but that's what I thought of. No, like,

Speaker:

no, it's, again, it just comes back to the fundamentals of how you, how you get through, uh, life and life. Life is about challenges and life isn't about performance. Life is about figuring out what you want, what's important to you. What you value, and then making sure that you are conscious and aware of what you value and that when you make a thousand tiny decisions all day long that you're thinking about those values. Like, and that's what, like burnout Society is more of, there aren't, like everything about my values is geared towards success is geared towards the positive. You know, everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be like, I can look on the internet and see 18 examples. I can see 14 Mel Robbins, where she just goes 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and hops outta bed. And I'm not in a place where I can go 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and hop outta bed because I am struggling to keep breathing. Like a lot of, a lot of what I feel about Mel Robbins is just oversimplification. Like, yeah, great. I wish I could count to five and hop my ass out of bed, but. The other stuff that she's talking about is taking responsibility and understanding that if you want something different, you have to take action. You can't just sit around and be like, well, I wish. Well, I wish. But at the same time, the way that you can get to a space where you can count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and hop out of bed is maybe starting from a place of self-compassion. So we'll get more into that next week. We're gonna go over part one of the, of the book next week. Starting from that place of self-compassion and being like, Hey, yeah, you're laying on the couch and you're 800 pounds, and that really sucks and that really sucks. And that has to be, this is not a fun thing for you. And you know, you have to be able to look at it and be like, yeah, there are certain reasons and there are certain decisions and there are certain paths that led you to be laying on the couch and weighing 800 pounds. Um, none of a lot of those might not even be your fault, but. What you can do is say, uh, you know, self, you are, you are, you are good, you are kind, you, you are, you are the things that you value. I like you so much that I'm going to take different actions in order to put us on a different path. Like it was, and I was listening to this while I was running around to the airport and to the psychiatrist and then, you know, doing a, a ton of other shit. Like it is very hippie dippy in certain ways. But if you can again, pull in some of the, the Mark Manson, if you can pull in some of the, you know, radical responsibility. Yeah. You need to forgive yourself for how you got there. You need to forgive yourself and have some understanding that, you know, this isn't where you wanna be.

Speaker 3:

You also need to use that as a kick in the ass to get moving. Yeah.

Speaker:

Yeah. I mean, that is the, that is the next step that you can, like, she gives you all these strategies for being like, okay, you know, and one of them is. You're not the only one. Like don't. What self-compassion kind of helps you do is stop spiraling. Like don't sit on your couch and be like, you're worthless. You're, you deserve to be 800 pounds because you made shitty decisions. You're a piece of shit who can't do anything. Like, you have to a little bit of compassion for yourself and be like, yeah, yeah, you fucked it up. You fucked it up.

Speaker 3:

But that's the, and that's the responsibility part of it too. Like, yeah, here we go. This is what I've been doing. Obviously it's led to this. It's not working, which I'm not happy with. Things gotta change. So in order for things, excuse you.

Speaker:

No, it's the chair. My foot's on the chair.

Speaker 3:

My foot's on the chair. Shut up. It's the chair. Anyway, and I think we've said it before and we'll continue to say it. All of these things that we read and all of these. Little self-help things. They're all small little pieces that go into your overall toolbox of things you can actually do. And that's the point of all of this is not just to read them and, and take them in, but it's actually to put little things into action every day. And that's, that's what we're doing. And hopefully somebody out there is listening to our ramblings and putting something into play in their day. Every day. Just little small, tiny things.'cause you know, I think we learned in atomic habits, those little, little tiny things add up and make a big difference. And that's how things change. Yes, I agree. I agree. And the start of that is self-compassion.

Speaker:

Right? It's, it's, it's also the understanding that it's that like nothing is perfect, like no. Things you see on the internet, those people aren't perfect. The human condition is one of struggle, and you are never alone in those struggles. Like everyone is suffering to some extent. Like, yeah, that's what it's about. Tom Brady on occasion is suffering. I mean, I'm not sure why or how, but he clearly is suffering. He's worked

Speaker 3:

his ass off to get what he got. Like, I mean, it's not like he just, yeah, he's got some natural talent. Obviously most of those guys do, but that also, I mean, there's a reason that most professional sports have psychologists on their payroll have. Mental health coaches because just mental health alone for them is a huge challenge that people don't pay attention to. Yeah. We, we look at these guys and we're like, yeah, they're fucking overpaid. They're playing a fucking game. But they're also, we don't see what's behind the scenes. We don't see what they're, what they're doing. They're. Most of them are working their fucking asses off. And that's their struggle and we all have it. And yeah, it's, it's kind of hard to be like, oh yeah, I feel bad for Tom Brady for all he's put into it'cause he is got a bazillion dollars. But he didn't just wake up and someone threw money into his account. I mean, um, and one thing from Mark Manson this morning is a strong person is someone who gets good at feeling bad. Because we're all gonna feel bad. It's life. That's the way it is, and we have to get good at it, which is what we're doing with our toolbox.

Speaker:

Right, right. Like you, the, the big accomplishments come from being uncomfortable. And that isn't, that isn't that Burnout Society place of everything is perfect. Everything is perfect. I'm nailing my workouts every day. I look amazing. Like it comes from being like, I do not wanna get up and do anything today. And then getting up and doing a thing, like doing it. Yeah. And doing that stuff from a place of caring about yourself. Like, I care enough about myself to be able to, to, to change some of these things. Like I care enough about the myself and I care enough about the people around me because I can, I can care about myself, I can care about the people around me. Um, it is like a hippie dippy book, but mm-hmm. It does. Like, that's a piece of, of being able to, being able to. Understand that your circumstances are not always the same. Like you're, you're able to to kind of change your, your circumstances and change where you are.

Speaker 2:

So much of my frontal lobe developed during this conversation. Sorry. I was, I know it's absorbing. I just we're back.

Speaker 3:

I love frontal. Okay, I know that. We're you gotta go Christine? One quick story. Took Owen to the Dr. Fur's, uh, well visit and the doctor gave him a little lecture about how his frontal lobe is not yet developed. How his mom and dad, ours are developed. I could still question it, but ours are developed and that's why we ask him the questions that we do. And it's not us being nosy or assholes, but it's us just making sure that he has all the information that his frontal lobe will eventually provide him. And we're trying to help him with that. And I was like, I'm gonna hug you before I leave because you like the amount of times I've said to Owen, this isn't there yet. I'm just trying to help you. We're filling in the pieces. Becky, yours is all my hair. Speaking of the front though. Yeah, yours, you're, you're almost cooked. You're almost cooked. We'll say

Speaker 2:

I've, I've felt it cooking and I've been noticing things that I've not been noticing before, and I'm like, oh God. Oh no, no. I, I'm an adult. Fuck. I keep texting. Yeah. It's kind of gross. I keep texting Liam being like, so I noticed this, and he's like, it's happening. Yeah, it's happening. It's happening in real time. And I said.

Speaker 4:

Growing up. Look at our little Becca, look at our little Becca all grown up. Um, I remember when she was born. Yeah. That's great.

Speaker 3:

I mean, I don't remember when you were born, but I remember the first time I saw you.'cause I was like, oh my God. That's, that's a, that's a, that's a Maggie and Tom baby. Wow.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

I, I feel like I did a good

Speaker:

and you were fucking adorable. Just, uh, for the record, I had a fully developed frontal lobe when you were born. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:

As today,

Speaker:

I believe.

Speaker 3:

Were you uniform? It was 2002. I was almost there. I was close to a full frontal lobe. H

Speaker:

but yeah. Hilarious. 2002. Wow. I'm gonna pound my face off the desk. Um,

Speaker 3:

yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

God. Do you guys wanna see a surprise puppy?

Speaker 3:

Surprise puppy.

Speaker 2:

It's the best kind of puppy.

Speaker 5:

Hi Mom. No.

Speaker:

Yeah. Hello. It's like, nope. No, I don't like this dog does not like podcasting. No, I feel

Speaker 2:

like she's sniffing.

Speaker 3:

I get to go cuddle my puppy now. I was, what was happening there was, I was trying to see if the dog had a wiener.'cause I didn't know if it was a boy or girl. Same. I was looking for nipples

Speaker 2:

girl.

Speaker 3:

Because you'd be able to see the nipples faster than you could see. It's wean.

Speaker 2:

Yes. Uh, it's Jody's dog.

Speaker 3:

Shit. Shut up. She didn't have a wiener.

Speaker 4:

Dogs are, oh, hi. Dogs are boys. Everyone knows. Yeah,

Speaker 3:

exactly.

Speaker 4:

Ask your dad,

Speaker 3:

Jesus.

Speaker 4:

Alright guys. Uh, wish me, wish me luck getting your, have fun, fun at the executive fun thing

Speaker:

to jam. It's an executive jam. Jam on out. Jam on out. Right? Space jam, yeah. Is my walkout. Music. Turns out, even though I want it to be Joan Jet real bad. I choose my lens. I don't know. It should be Renegade or ac. CD. C.

Speaker 3:

Vacuum in black. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There you go. Perfect. Every time I hear that song, I think of you. Right? Not at all. Every time I hear LFOI think of you. Okay? Yeah. That is more summer girls. I love it. Okay. Funky,

Speaker 4:

late, fresh, late, funky, fresh ones,

Speaker 3:

something.

Speaker 4:

All right.

Speaker 3:

Love you guys. Bye. Love you, bye.

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Christine Kanalis

Host
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Sarah Leibhart

Host