Heart to Heart with Hads

Ep. 31 | Personal Growth Is Scary

• Hadlea Shaw

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Chat with me about my trip to ATX & self-realizations, changing my routine, goals and definition of success.

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Speaker 1:

Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Heart to Heart with Hads. Today we're just going to be talking about everything I've kind of discovered about myself in the past week, because it was literally a life-changing experience for me, and I don't put that lightly because I've've done a lot of things, I've gone through a lot of things and I've seen some cool things in my young 22 years of life almost 23, by the way. Today is December 11th. My birthday is January 11th. Quick plug, if anybody cares. Anyways, yeah, I just kind of want to talk. I was going to say touch and then I was going to say talk and they kind of just started to form together for a second. But I wanted to really touch on my experience and so I'm kind of just going to give a little bit of an insight on my trip, kind of like what I learned, and I'm just going to honestly talk about my notes. I have 10 pages of notes, so, like, if you hear me flipping pages, it's because I want to dive deep into what I learned, not only just about like in general, but about myself. So I'm gonna I'm gonna dive deep into it. But first of all I just kind of want to recap my last week, which is basically what we're talking about today, but if you didn't know, I traveled to Austin. If you don't follow me on Instagram, then you should definitely follow me on Instagram.

Speaker 1:

But I am a part of a mentorship or coaching container, I guess you could say, called Impact Industries and it's ran by Nick Comadina and he is a essentially like a business leadership coach and so I'm inside of his coaching container. Now, I don't work directly with him. He has other coaches that work with people inside of the group. So he has Alchemist Academy, which is for businesses, business owners who are like pretty much just starting, so they're making that, you know, zero to 10 K range. Now, once you've hit consecutive months above that, then you go into conscious leader, which is technically like one-on-one connecting with him. Now we do support calls every week with there's two coaches and then there's a student success leader, allie, and just it's really cool. Nick will speak, nick will have a call with us every other week or once a month, I don't remember. I think it's either two times a week, I don't really know. Anyways, but we have support calls. So we have like a women's support call and we have a support call with Kelly Kelly's, my coach, and really it's just like a big community of people that are all really really high achievers, and I learned that especially this past week is like holy shit, there's so many more of like me's out there and for the longest time I was just like. There's not many people I know that are shooting for the amount of success that I am within my business or just like life in general. There's a small handful of people I know that truly have big ambitions when it comes to growing their career and it's just it was crazy to be able to be surrounded by all of these people.

Speaker 1:

So I'd never traveled anywhere by myself before. This was a very new experience for me. So I mean, I had traveled to see one of my friends, but not really like going to a place that was very unknown, like I don't know the city, nothing at all. So I flew there. I got a rental car which, let me just tell you this, when I got there, they're like the only car we have are is minivans, and I was like wait, wait, you're joking. You're telling me I'm gonna drive around a minivan. Oh, my god, I was like I am not driving no bus. I said I will do that if that's all that there's left. She was like you can wait, and because there, I will do that if that's all that there's left. She was like you can wait because there's some more cars that'll be coming in that have just been returned, and I was like you know what, I'm going to wait a little bit. And so I waited and I got just like a regular. It was like a Volkswagen, I don't know what kind of car sedan. It was really cute. I don't know what kind of car sedan. It was really cute. I was like, honestly, I want this car. It was so nice, easy to drive. I loved it. Anyways, the only thing that sucked about being in Austin was that it was raining literally the entire time I was there. It was cloudy, rainy, gloomy. I was like, oh, this sucks. But the weather didn't matter because the experience was incredible.

Speaker 1:

Anyways, got my rental car, ended up staying with a family friend or like a childhood friend, so that at least I had like that one little connection. But everything else was like nope, you're on your own. I didn't know a single soul. I didn't know what gym I was going to go to. I just threw myself out there and there was no itinerary. Nick had told us when we got there too, like there, the reason I didn't give you guys an itinerary is because that's how life goes you never know what it's going to be. You kind of just have to show up and expect, expect the best and that's all there is to it. So I was kind of glad there was no itinerary. All we knew is that we needed to be there at eight and we were going to be getting done at two. We didn't know what was going on, we knew nothing. All I knew was to show up at this time, have a pencil, a notebook and be ready and willing to learn and connect.

Speaker 1:

And Allie, the success manager, she, um I'm trying not to say um she gave us, she gave me a kind of goal when I got there. She, she was like I want you to meet or introduce yourself to five new people a day, and there was, I think, over 70, 50 to 70 people there. I think I heard one of those numbers, I'm not totally sure what it was. I like surpassed I think I connected with probably 20 to 25 to 30 of the people that were there and I was so proud of myself because for the longest time, my biggest struggle recently had been I just didn't feel connected. I felt lonely, and I think that was because I had been so immersed in working and just like working from home, that I hardly went out to go and conversate or make meaningful connections, and so that's something that when I was there I got so much of it and I felt so fulfilled and so connected.

Speaker 1:

And now that I have all of these connections it's so cool because we all follow each other now we support each other. It's really cool and I know it's not like the same as seeing someone in person, but I know I kind of like talked about and shared that with them some of the people and they felt the same way. But those people that had felt that way before gave me some amazing tips to try and not feel like that anymore. And so I'm just kind of like dive deep into what I decided that I was going to change when I got back and just starting with the way that I start my days, so for the past probably three to four months, ever since I started taking on my business myself, starting my own coaching business, I was like very much so just like grind, grind, grind.

Speaker 1:

And then I had to reflect. I had a reflection when I was there. The whole reason that I not the whole reason, but part of the reason that I quit my nine to five job is because, well, for one, I hated it, for two, I hated the nine to five. Mundane Like that, shit literally drives me up the walls. I couldn't take it anymore.

Speaker 1:

And so me really going all in on myself, trusting myself to make this happen, make my passion come to life, why was I trying to go back to that rigidity of my nine to five whenever I was having to wake up super, extremely early to go in the gym? And if you know me, I train hard, and so starting my day off with training, hard, training fasted right out of the gate, is not conducive for me, especially for my goals. And I had to kind of take a step back this past week and really sit with myself and be like is this really helping me or is it hurting me? And I was like you know what? I was thinking that I needed to go to the gym this many times a week and go at this time every day, when it's like you don't have to do that, you set your own schedule and I also realized, too, me going in the morning at that time. Everybody else is a robot. Because we're going that early in the morning, we're going to just get it done.

Speaker 1:

And for me, well, actually this is a part of my job. Actually I can go whenever I want, and actually I can go talk to more people and conversate when I'm there, because I'm there later in the day and I'm seeing more people that I used to see in the past, that I used to talk to, and so I'm really just breaking out of my shell. And it may not seem like a lot to you, but this is a really huge breakthrough moment for me. And you know, every so many often days now I'm gonna kind of probably every 90 days, every 12 weeks, I'm just kind of audit like, okay, what's working well for me? Where am I lacking? I think a big thing that's helped me with that too is like therapy. My therapist is like why are you going to the gym that early? Why are you trying to be high achieving? You are your own boss, you can work anytime.

Speaker 1:

And so I started having these realizations of like holy shit, like I'm feeling lonely because I'm going to the gym in the morning and where I don't get very much social interaction during this time. But if I go at a different time, I know that I will, and also, if I go at a different time, I'll be more likely to do content, which is not only going to help me with, you know, growing my business, but also I love to make content. And I was kind of getting in a funk where I wasn't liking content because while I was going in the mornings and I wasn't wanting to film anything and get creative, and so I just had a really big breakthrough moment, and that's the first thing that I implemented was changing my gym routine. Now, changing my gym routine comes with changing my morning routine. So I decided my morning routine. I have to be so disciplined when it comes to this.

Speaker 1:

But stop getting on your gosh damn phone in the morning. This is so much easier said than done, but I have. I set my alarm and I stop it, and I think I really want to check my Oura Ring Insights right away. So I want to get on my phone, but I'm like you don't need to check it right now. They're not going to change just because you're not checking it right away. So I've decided this week I haven't done it. I've been like, okay, alarm goes on. Stop, I have all of my journals, my Bible, my what else do I have I have? Okay, so I have two journals. I have my like guided journal that kind of has like a guided prompt for me to follow, and then I just have like my plain notebook to where I can just write out my thoughts for the day, and then I have my devotional that my sister and I have been doing together so we send them to each other and then I have my actual Bible. And so I've actually just been. I started in the new Testament and I'm just going through and I'm highlight like I have a pin, a pink pin, because I love pink habit stacking, so something you like, I love the color pink, I love writing and I love learning and it may be hard for me to really get into the Bible, but I know that if I'm pairing it with my journaling, all these things, they're all going together that I'm going to do it and I've actually been loving it.

Speaker 1:

My mornings have been so slow and I can't put into words, but it's only been three days that I've implemented this, but I already feel like literally the world of a difference. I wake up and I'm not in a rush, I'm not hurried. I give myself 30 minutes yes, 30 minutes to journal, meditate, and meditate too which is something that I learned this week is meditate isn't just you have to sit there and silence. Meditation is you realizing that you're doing something that you know is not getting you closer to where you want to be. So, like you having realizations from like an example could be like you're on your phone, you're like shit, I'm realizing that this is not getting me where I want to be. Like now, why am I doom scrolling? You put your phone on. That's a meditation. Right there, anything that's changing your mindset or like you catching yourself in the moment of doing something, that's a meditation. So I think that's super freaking cool.

Speaker 1:

Now, going back to my morning routine sorry I got a little bit off track, but I allow myself 30 minutes to do that. Then I get up and I eat and I'm hungry, like I'm actually hungry, which is crazy to me, because before, when I was waking up, like rushing out the door to get to the gym and just be like zombying my way through the morning, I didn't have an appetite and I didn't have an appetite for the rest of the day. But me starting out my morning slow, I've had huge appetite and even just within these past three weeks I don't know if you knew, but I was doing like a little bit of a mini cut and my food got pretty low and just within the past, like month and a half not even month and a half, I think, just month I've been able to work my calories up from 1400 up to 2200 just within that short amount of time. And that's because my body is just calm, like it feels calm, energetic. I don't feel like I'm having to just run, run, run and it's like I crave all for all of us to feel like this. So I know it's hard because you feel like this is the only time you can get to the gym. I agree, but if you just go to bed earlier, go to bed 30 minutes earlier, allow yourself 30 minutes of time in the morning, yes, even before you go to the gym. If you're an early gym goer, oh my gosh, I can guarantee you it will make you the world of a difference. Not checking your phone at 4.30. Am Calling out my sister right now because she will read my text literally at 4.30 am. Why the F are you checking your text messages this early in the morning? It literally sets your day up for hell, and I don't mean this lightly. I truly, truly believe the way you start your morning is the way the rest of your day is going to go, the way the rest of your day is going to pan out. Start it out with calm and peace and the rest of your day is going to go so well. I can't explain it. Just take it from me. Take my advice Do exactly what I'm saying to do and I guarantee you you're going to feel like a freaking million bucks. Okay, I know that it's working because my metabolism's firing, my pumps in the gym are better, my sleep's better, my energy's better. I'm not relying on caffeine. That's another thing too.

Speaker 1:

When I got into this coaching program, we were supposed to do a. You're supposed to do a 30-day reset, and so this 30-day reset is music with no lyrics, no caffeine, no tv. What am I missing? A couple other things. You're supposed to turn your phone on gray scale, so it's kind of just like the literally there's no color and so it's unattractive to look at. But I failed. The caffeine, oh, you're not supposed to have any sugar either. Like any added sugar, you want to have honey and things like that, but minimized. And so I had to start. I had to restart over. So I started over Monday. So Monday was 30 days, yesterday was 29 days. I have 28 days left and it's like, oh, christmas is coming.

Speaker 1:

No, you bet your ass, I'm holding myself to this goal. I'm I'm holding myself to this goal because if I can prep, if I can do all these certain things, if I can diet and starve myself down for however many weeks to get stage lean, I could do a 30-day reset of not listening to music, not watching TV, not consuming sugar, not having caffeine. It's pretty simple. And you're like, oh, but the holidays? No, I can do it. I can have fruit. Fruit is going to be my sugar, I will be fine. I can have fruit. Fruit is going to be my sugar, I will be fine. I will hold myself accountable to this and I will be pissed at myself if I don't.

Speaker 1:

So I know my birthday, which would be january 11th, which I'm gonna just make the last day before that, I'm gonna january 11th, I'm gonna have a cup of coffee and I'm gonna listen to music and it's just gonna feel so good and it's like 23, a new awakening. I just completed this like Like, I'm just super stoked and but yeah, let's get into some of my learnings. I feel like I kind of went on a big tangent, but overall I'm just feeling amazing and I hope I am projecting it to my clients, because that's really my goal is like I want to make sure that I am feeling good so that I can bounce that onto my clients, because then they're like holy shit, she's beaming, she's booming, so so should I. So I love that. So here's just some things that I literally I'm just going to go through some of my notes that I took but your beliefs turn into behaviors.

Speaker 1:

Your behaviors turn into actions. Your actions get results, and this is another thing that I started was you can't get new results from your past identity, so you have to. In order for new information to come to you, you have to become someone new, and this was crazy to me. So this whole talk was about presence, and when you're not present, your stress hormones go up. So if you're constantly thinking about everything else besides where you're at, this is how you become stressed, and this is why I'm like kind of going to remove stress from my vocabulary, my daily words, because I'm just not even going to say it. I feel like I am a person that does blank and I'm just changing my perspective around it. So another thing that I wrote down was the present moment is the only place your power exists, which is so, so real. The more you stay present and exactly where you're at, exactly what you're doing right now, the better you feel, the happier you feel. So that's a big one for me.

Speaker 1:

And then, while I was just like reflecting as I was writing down notes, my daily non-negotiables for myself is gym or cardio gym or movement, like that's movement in general. Let's just say that 10 minutes of meditation, 10 pages of a self-help book which I surpassed that I probably read 30 minutes of a self-help book every single day and, holy shit, it gets me going. I don't think people realize the power of reading something that's going to change your perspective, change your mindset and get you flowing, get you energetic, get you passionate about something. So I love that Daily gratitude journal plus devotional 15 minutes of sunshine. These are just the bare minimums to me. If I don't get these, I don't feel good, and so I encourage you to write down five of your daily non-negotiables. This is just for yourself. This has nothing to do with your health goals, is just for yourself. This has nothing to do with your health goals, your business. These should be things every day. Honestly, you can literally copy and paste my daily non-negotiables and put them into your life and you will just feel the difference mentally, physically, spiritually. It will be insane. This is what I wrote down. Every single pattern you become aware of becomes a new daily meditation.

Speaker 1:

Like I was saying, the biggest thing I took away from that presentation that we that I had was reps become rules. Putting in the reps is the only way that you're going to get to where you want to be in this. I know it's like well, this is translating from the gym, but I mean it's true, you want to be in this. I know it's like well, this is translating from the gym, but I mean it's true. You go to the gym. The people that you see that are more jacked and are have more muscle. They've just put in more reps than you. They've been doing it for longer than you. It's not because of their genetics, it's not because of any of that. It's because they put in the time. And so whenever you're feeling stuck and you're like, oh, but like, look at them, look at them. No, look at you. Have you even put in the reps yet? No, you haven't. So just keep showing up.

Speaker 1:

And a lot of a big epiphany that I had was, just like each thing I'm doing every single day, every single week, all of these things are compounding. Whether I see it in the moment probably not, but each little thing is getting me closer and closer and closer. It's like a climbing ladder, and once we can realize that and just be present with where I'm at on the step, the better that we're going to feel, the more happiness we're going to feel instead of constantly trying to. Yes, it's super important to have huge, lofty goals, and mine is probably clear to the moon, but I know each and every day, step, step, step, and once you can realize that those steps are taking you there, you will just feel so, so, so much better. Okay, let's see what happened.

Speaker 1:

Next page that was literally just page one. So we wrote down just like where I was lacking presence, and I wrote down my relationships, my friendships and my everyday life, just things that I'm doing like little mundane things. You know, maybe it's like eating a nutritious meal. Like holy cow, I have the freaking ability, the the smartness to be able to come up with a meal that's going to not only fulfill me micronutriently but macronutriently. Like I'm smart enough to build meals and hit a number and have this intelligence and a peace that other people may not have, is incredible to me.

Speaker 1:

So I wrote down how can I show up for myself and not just my business, because obviously this was a business leadership retreat and I for one, put put my business and where I wanted to go and my clients and things for myself, which is fine, like I want my clients to succeed so much. But if I'm not able to fully pour into myself and allow myself to rest and recover and give myself boundaries, then I'm going to burn out. And so that's another realization I had of. Like I create my schedule, I create my time, and a client's not going to get mad if I don't respond to them in one minute, Just keeping that in my mind at all times. So then I wrote down every 90 days, switch routine.

Speaker 1:

So next thing, why the work matters. So you cannot master what you don't know. So this is why constantly learning is so important, and it doesn't matter if you're someone like me that has a fitness business or health business, coaching and it's important to constantly be learning, because the evolution of health and fitness is always transforming and changing and new things are coming up, and you always just have to be learning and evolving as you go. And I think that's so amazing, like three years ago to now, the amount of information that I've learned just by doing but also expanding my knowledge and reading books that I think are important to getting me to wherever I want to be. And so, really focusing on continuing your education, I encourage you to write down whatever you're passionate about and just keep learning upon that. Not only that, like the self-help books are so important.

Speaker 1:

I think it doesn't matter if you're an entrepreneur or not. You should be constantly trying to evolve so that you're growing as a human being, so that you're able to learn others behaviors, maybe, or learning how other people think, and just not being so conformed in a box. And expanding your knowledge so that you can have higher emotional intelligence, so that you can be able to broaden your horizon of the way other people think, because having a small, narrow way of thinking is wrong. I'm just gonna say it's wrong. If you're not able to be able to see things from different perspectives, you will never be able to get where you want to be because you're so closed-minded. That was good. That was good.

Speaker 1:

Hadley, anyways, wrote a lot of things so new. The new life you are creating scares you. This is what did I write. I put new life you're creating scares me. Younger me, conditioned self. Break old norms and patterns. Be patient with myself. Create reps. So for me, like some reps I need to continue is literally in the gym, like I often will sit here and compare myself to competitors or like Olympians that I've literally just been doing it for years. And so if I just I have to just switch my mindset to be like holy shit, like I've only been doing this good, I've only been good at this for two years Now. Imagine if I'm good at this for four, five, six more years. Where can I be? And that excites me. So just keep showing up, keep putting them in, be patient with myself. And yeah, I also wrote down I have to start putting myself first.

Speaker 1:

I don't need to wake up at 5amm every day to be successful or productive. Another thing we talked about too, is there's a difference between being productive and being busy, and just because I would get up at 5 am doesn't make me any more productive than if I were to wake up at 7 am. So I had to reframe that in my mindset. And it was coming towards the end of the day, too, where I'd just be sitting like twiddling my fingers, like I'm just sitting here scrolling, and I was like, well, maybe if I actually changed my routine, the way I was spending my hours, I'd feel better about myself. So I started, I implemented my time blocking again where I'm getting up at the same time. You know, I'm not, I'm not allowing myself to, you know, respond to any more client things after a certain time.

Speaker 1:

And this time at night is for me, for my creation to get. Maybe I'll like read some of my actual fictional books that I like, or just do things that I like to do as a person, like I like to bake, and so putting my energy into that at night, rather than just doom scrolling which, yes, I realize that I'm doing that doom scrolling or just trying to consume. So another big takeaway that I had was stop trying to consume, consume, consume and start creating, creating, creating, just putting more out instead of bringing stuff in, because there's so much, I realized there's so much that I want to say and how I want to help other people and how I want people to feel, and so that's super important to me is just remembering that I have the power to do that and so putting more of my energy in that, and that kind of goes within the podcast. So it was kind of getting like a little bit of a not necessarily burnout, but I was getting a creativity block, so really having to step back and be like okay, what do I want to get out of this, who do I want to impact and how do I just want to keep continuing going forward. So, yeah, there were so many other pages of things that I so, yeah, there were so many other pages of things that I could talk about but I wanted to share. We also did a thing where it was 50 things I'm overflowing abundantly and this was so hard for me to do. It probably took me like 30 minutes to write out and I kind of, towards the end I don't know if I stopped thinking about overflowing abundantly, but it was more like turning into gratefulness, but I'm just gonna go through it. So 50 things I'm overflowing abundantly. I put that in all caps. I put the very first thing I put was strength in the gym. Why would I do that? I put strength in the gym.

Speaker 1:

Compassion for others, ability to get out of my comfort zone, willingness to learn, saying no to, was it to what doesn't align, trying things alone, doing things that are so uncommon for others. My no bullshit mentality when clients tell me their wins when I'm just in nature in sunshine. Gratitude for having a supportive mom when my mom gives me life lessons. Creativity moments sitting with my own thoughts, getting myself put together. Positive attitude, organization in my everyday life. Empathy for every person, no matter if they're good or bad. Gratitude for my environment, supportive family and friends, clients who look up to me, people that care, people that come to me for advice. Gratitude for all life's challenges. My perseverance, being able to breathe when I want. Being able to work where I want, when I want, choose what I want to wear I have lots of clothes my openness to learn. My longing for connections, friendliness for each new person, understanding of those that I may not want to understand. Adventurous moments, saying yes to new opportunities, being okay with being different, accepting myself, peace and calm, creativity, impact, humor, leading by example, creating safe spaces for those around me. Kindness, prosperity, purpose, loving, energy, helpfulness, healing, god, my calling, being around, being around a room of like-minded individuals I didn't repeat any. That was good, so that was what I'm overflowing abundantly.

Speaker 1:

And one thing I didn't add was love, but I did kind of piece together. We're doing meditations and breath work and things which I'd never done anything intense like that. So if you've done that, kudos to you. That shit is nutty and it was like. So we did a breath work where you kind of like like you do like deep breaths I don't know how to explain it, but everyone in the room's doing it and you like get into this weird state. I felt almost hypnotized, but I also felt very energetic, like everything in my body was like buzzing, it was vibrational, it was insane, but we did that. And then we did a meditation, two meditations I think, but one of the meditations I just kept hearing love, like I need to receive more love, I need to give more love, and that was like the word that kind of stuck with me through the meditation. And so I was like you know what that's going to be my word for the rest of the month, maybe the rest of the year, maybe for eternity to come, is everything I do leading with love.

Speaker 1:

And this goes for loving myself, loving everyone around me, loving what I do, loving how I do it, and just love like love my days, love exactly what I'm doing, exactly where I'm at, and just be so. Hopefully you guys kind of enjoy the episode of me, just some of my learnings. There's literally, like I'm just searching my page right now there's at least six more pages of notes but I won't get into it because I feel like this episode's already kind of long 30 minutes go me slay, but I guess I can just kind of recap my goals, my notes, things to take home and implement. So I put enjoy today, enjoy every day. That's real success. Continue my learning, which I already invested in, something which I was like you know what this is, something that I feel like it's going to literally help me so much. It's going to help my clients and help me bring on more clients and just continue my passion for wanting people to take a functional approach to health. So functional health coach certification coming soon and I'm so excited Definitely super scary because it's like you're taking a big risk on yourself. I'm taking a huge risk on myself, investing myself and my time to be able to do it, but I'm stoked.

Speaker 1:

I wrote down books I wanted to read Think and Grow Rich Breathwork Journey Workbook. I wrote down no More 5am Gym Sessions. Success Loves Speed. So the more able, the more able, the more you're able to continue to put in the reps and put your ideas into actions, the faster you will become successful.

Speaker 1:

Make shit your own, stop trying to copy what other people are doing. This is something that I think I try to take inspiration from Instagram too much, but with my daily walks I get so many ideas flowing in my head of things that I want to talk about and that's what makes it mine. So, just making more things mine. Going back to my creative days on content, where I actually loved and enjoyed the process of making content, even if it wasn't just like oh my gosh, this has to be super specific to growing the business or getting clients or whatever it looks like, and it's just like, no, like. I want to do what's fun and what feels good to me and that's going to reflect on. You know me actually connecting to people online, so I think that's cool.

Speaker 1:

Take action, take risks. Why do certain things speak to me the way they do? Risk? Why do certain things speak to me the way they do? Inaction breeds regrets and your body, money, external validations. They don't change who you are. They don't change who I am. The last thing I wrote was lead with love. So hope you guys enjoyed this episode. If you loved it, please let me know, please share it with somebody, and the next episode I'm going to do talking about 2025 goals and recapping this year and all the things that I've accomplished, and just being proud of myself and making you be proud of yourself, too, and you reflecting on what all you've accomplished. So hope you all love this episode. As always, leave a review, share with someone if you liked it, reach out to me. I love hearing if you love the episodes, because it makes me feel good. It makes me know that I am connecting to you all on a deeper level, so I will see y'all in the next episode. Bye.