Heart to Heart with Hads

The 5 Mental Shifts That Transformed My Life and Can Transform Yours | Mindset Rewiring #1

• Hadlea Shaw

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We're kicking off a new 12-week series on mindset and identity rewires with five limiting beliefs I had to abandon to step fully into my power and purpose.

• Believing I was too young and inexperienced to achieve my dreams turned out to be completely false
• Age is just a number—whether feeling too young or too old, daily habits and consistency determine success
• Perfectionism cripples progress—success lives in the failures and willingness to try despite uncertainty
• Comparing your journey to others' is pointless when our circumstances, experiences, and backgrounds differ completely
• Life happens when you allow and accept problems rather than being surprised by them
• Stop wearing stress like a badge of honor and reframe challenges into gratitude statements

Take 30 minutes to paint the picture of what YOU want your life to look like based on your own desires and values—not social media's influence.


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Speaker 1:

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. This mofo is an arm. Let's Steel get out, dog get out. Hey, everybody. No, hello everybody, and welcome back to another podcast episode of heart to heart with ads.

Speaker 1:

I have not uploaded a podcast in I think three weeks now. This would have been four weeks had I not posted. But some things happened. My grandmother sadly passed away. She went to be in heaven. So that kind of took a step back. I was with her for probably two weeks with her and then family after she did end up passing. So things had just been a little all over the place. But I am glad to be back with it and back in the groove.

Speaker 1:

I'm actually going to start a little mini series and I guess it'll be. I'm going to post them weekly, upload them weekly podcasts, but we're going to do like little series. So like every 12 weeks we're going to have a new series to kind of dive deep into, and so this one that we're going to dive deep into and start in today is just mindset and identity rewires. So I thought this would be cool to just kind of start off the spring season and heading into the summer months and since it will be 12 weeks, it'll be April May June. So basically I tried to break things up like quarter by quarter. So essentially April May June. And we're starting this a little bit later, a week later than the first week of April, which is totally fine because there's five weeks in April, so it'll be okay. So it'll be April May June. We'll be doing the mindset and identity rewires. So, but first things first.

Speaker 1:

Let's just talk about a little bit of a recap for me. I kind of gave you a little bit of insight of what's been going on in personal life and even more personal, I'm going to share with you that I have had three menstrual cycles in a row. If you've been following along, if you've been listening, I was dealing with not having a cycle for a while. It was very irregular. So I'm glad to have finally given my body and my mind which I don't think a lot of us really realize how much stress that we carry mentally and I was really going through it mentally and I don't really know how to explain it. But if you listen back to a lot of my past episodes you can probably hear and see kind of what I'm talking about. So I'm so glad I've had three in a row.

Speaker 1:

I'm so just grateful and proud of myself for doing it, because I think it can be hard to like let your body and let your mind really go into that spot of chill and relaxation, especially if you've been wired to constantly go, go, go all the time. So it was honestly a really huge, groundbreaking thing for me, and I know you're like, oh, it's not that deep, but it really is. When it's something that you've been struggling with for a long time and you finally overcome it, it's just like a breath of fresh air to me. So I'm incredibly proud of myself and I don't usually say that a lot about certain things and this is one thing where I'm like, holy shit, if I can do this, if I can literally like heal my body myself, then like the possibilities are endless for the things that I continue to keep doing, so truthfully incredible, and I'm excited that I'm just going to keep getting getting them consistently. So, yeah, go me.

Speaker 1:

Anyways, let's jump into today's episode. That was really the only little tangent that I had on myself, or a little life update, but yeah, so let's go into today's episode. I'm in a notebook. If you're watching on YouTube. I have decided to start to write all of my notes down in a notebook rather than on the computer, just because I'm trying to get away from doing everything on my phone, on the computer, because I love writing and I feel like writing just helps me calm down, relax too, and actually put my thoughts on the paper and slow down. So first things first is what we're going to talk about. So first episode one on our Mindset Rewires is we're going to be talking about five beliefs that I had to let go of to step into my power. And what does that mean? Just step into someone that is embodied in what she talks about, is purposeful in everything that she does throughout her day, her week, her months, and just become someone that I know is capable of doing the things that I want and the things that I want to accomplish. So the first belief that I had to let go of to truly do that is that I'm too young and inexperienced to make my dream become a reality, which is just completely not true. I don't think that age and not being experienced has anything to do with it, because, first of all, you can't change your age. You cannot change your age. That's something that you can literally not control, but experience you can control that. I have complete control over the experience and the knowledge that I learn and if I get the more that I can take on at a young age where I'm at right now, I just know how much that's going to play and play a big part, a big effect on my life later on down the road. And I'm not unexperienced. I have so much experience and I'm not just talking about knowledge and like the scheme of health and fitness and things like that. I'm talking about knowledge and the fact that I've had to experience things that maybe some people at my age have not gotten to experience yet or haven't had to experience yet because they haven't gone through the type of traumatic events. And some people have had more experience and I think really having more life experience makes you even more, more qualified, more successful, more powerful, and so just some of the challenges that I myself have had to go through like I and there's probably a lot of people that can relate to this but I went through COVID during college, which was probably the worst time someone could have gone through college. I mean I would say that and going to or having COVID during, like having a baby, would be really hard, just because you're not able to get out, you're scared of what could happen, whatever. But I also think college too, because that's a such that's such a big transition in life. You're going from always being at home having your type of people to going into a spot where you're meeting completely new people and that in the midst of COVID, was just incredibly difficult and I feel like that was one of the major things that kind of rewired my mind a lot in a lot of different ways. That that was after and my dad passing away at a young age, like I really didn't know what my life would look like past that, because all I'd ever known was having a mom and a dad together all in the same house, and then when that happened, there's so many things that changed. You know, like my mom changed and I changed and I didn't even know what was going on. It was just very hard to grasp. But had I not had those experiences, I don't think I'd be where I'm at now and I feel like that's just the most beautiful thing about life. And that's not the only challenges challenge that I've faced. There's been other, like personal things and, you know, having to persevere whenever I've been in my bodybuilding journey like the very first competition that I did, like those things are hard, while also starting a new job, while also trying to discover myself, who I am as a young adult and those things just don't discover myself, who I am as a young adult, and those things just don't. They don't go, they're not talked about, but they're things that have truthfully transformed my mind and my mindset over time and have made me become this person that I am today, this powerful individual that I am also too. I know I put that I'm too young and inexperienced, but let's dive into kind of like that young part. So I just want to talk about age, because I don't think that age is an excuse to not strive for things, young or old. So like, just for an example I'm just going to throw this out there, there's so many people, even myself, I think like, oh, I'm so young, I throw this out there. There's so many people, even myself I think like, oh, I'm so young I could never become, I could never put on that much muscle. I don't have that much muscle, enough muscle, yet I can't. I'm not gonna be able to become a professional bodybuilder because I don't have the muscle and it's just like muscle maturity is a thing and that stuff takes time and I'm totally okay with that. I know I've, I'm very new and young to it and I know that it will take time and consistency and patience. And then there's that other end of the spectrum where people think that they're too old. Oh, they're in, they're in their menopause years, they can't lose body fat, they can't put on muscle, they can't burn that separate fat and it's like that is just not true at all. Literally nothing has changed but a shift in your hormones. And to support your shift in those hormones you can make certain lifestyle changes. Not everything goes out the window just because you had kids or because you have started menopause or you're going through menopause. Like I've seen this firsthand, I've had clients that I've literally transformed their lives and their physique just in those menopause years, just by, like, properly fueling their body and nourishing their body in a way that supports where they're at in their life right now in their menopause years. So to say that's an excuse is just not real. And then for myself too, like I have seen many, many females talk and show and actually have been able to, you know, become an IFBB pro at a young age because of the work that they have put in, because of, you know, their dedication to the sport. Like, age is just a number and that's merely all. It is. The daily habits that you put in is what makes you who you are and the progress that you want to see. You know, going back to that experience thing, you can find answers to literally anything, like you can look up answers for anything online. But also, too, I think people are so afraid to ask for help and I think asking for help is probably the best thing that you can do If you want to take any part of your life to the next level. It's not I don't know what the word I'm looking for. It's not bad, it's not a burden to ask somebody for help. It's it's okay to reach out to help, like that's what people are there for, that's what friends are there for, that's where coaches are there for, for mentors, that's where, like, they're there for that specific reason. Okay, I tried to not make that long, but it was kind of long. Number two, that if I don't do everything perfectly, if it doesn't happen perfectly, it's just not ever going to happen. The problem with that is the success that you're looking for. The power that you're looking for is infailing. You think LeBron or Kobe or whoever, like those shots that they took and those games that they lost? Do you think that that doesn't make them successful? That doesn't make them powerful? That doesn't make them who they are? No, that literally makes them who they are. Without those failures and those challenges and not making the shots, they wouldn't have become who they were today. Michael Jordan, whoever, I don't even know, I'm just saying random basketball players names that I can come up with in my head. Um, but the thing is too, trying different things even if you don't know the outcome is so huge. Putting that's called faith, that's called having faith that things will go wrong, that you will fail. Have faith that you will succeed. At the same time, know that, no matter what, you're going to have failures, you're going to have obstacles. You can't live life trying to be perfect, and this goes for everything. You can't try to find the perfect job, the perfect husband, like there's things on that I'll see on TikTok and they're trying to find the perfect man. They're trying everything to do this and it's just not going to happen. You are not going to find the perfect thing. You're going to have to trial and error different things. You're going to just have to try. Put yourself in these situations. You're not going to find the perfect plan. You're not going to look up on ChagVT Give me the perfect workout plan to give me the biggest butt, the smallest weight, the biggest biceps, whatever. That's just not how it works. You're not going to be able to find it unless you actually immerse yourself in it and try different things. There's no perfect plan, action thing you can do for anything, just like any sort of you know business plan you're trying to do. There's no perfect plan that you can do or no perfect thing you can put in place, no perfect poster, piece of content that's going to make you pop off. It's just not going to happen. There's no perfect drink or perfect food that's going to give you the abs that you want, the washboard abs. It's just about the putting in the reps, the consistency of doing the things, putting your faith into something even though you know it's not going to get perfect right. Then Literally nothing perfect will happen. You just have to keep trialing and erring until you get to where you want to be, and then you're probably not even going to be satisfied when you get where you want to be. You should always be striving and wanting for more, and I think that also goes into how I step into. My power is I know that where I'm at right now is the best I'm ever going to be at right now, but I know that I'm only just going to keep inching and inching better every single day, in every aspect of my life, and that is something that just fires me up and makes me so excited to live my life, and it should you, too. Number three is that my journey is incredibly different than anybody else's around me. I had to let go of this belief, that of comparison to other people that I either see online or friends or people that are older than me, whatever it may be be. We all come from different upbringings. We have different beliefs, we have different responses to stress. We've all endured different things in our lives. We have a completely different lifestyle, work ethic. We don't even live in the same climate. We don't even have the same experiences. So how can you expect to have what somebody else has and compare your life to theirs when literally every single aspect of your life is completely different. You have to stop focusing on becoming somebody else or looking like somebody else or doing what somebody else does, and start focus on becoming you, becoming the best version of you. That's literally all you can do. I wrote down all I control is who I am and who I want to be, not who I want to be like. Let me say that again All I can control is who I am and who I want to be, and not who I want to be like. There's a huge difference there. And then another thing too is authenticity is huge. Just be authentically. You Stop trying to fit the mold of somebody else, whenever, like I said, that doesn't fit anything about you. That doesn't fit your upbringing, your past, your experiences, your traumas. It just doesn't fit. You can't fit your mold into somebody else's. This is what I wrote down. I want to challenge you to sit down with yourself and paint the picture of your life. Paint the picture of what you want your life to look like, not based on anything else, not based on social media. What you see? None of it. Literally. Sit down, give yourself 30 minutes and I want you to write down in detail what exactly you aspire your life to look like, based on your wants and your needs and your desires. This is crucial. Do it Paint the picture of your life? Number four life happens when you allow and accept problems. Four life happens when you allow and accept problems. Now this came last week. I was on a call. I missed the call because I'm a dumb little idiot not really, but I just thought that the call was the next day. At the same time they'd already done the call and they posted the replay. I was like shoot, but it was with one of my business mentors and he specifically said this in it. He said life happens when you allow and accept problems, and the notes I took from this is and kind of what he said too is life is always going to throw problems at you. We all know this. There's going to be problems that pop up and you're like gosh, everything was just going so freaking good. But when? When you expect them to happen, when you know that they're going to happen, that makes life so much easier. Accept the problems Like accept them with grace and gratitude, holy crap. I have problems that are probably so slight and minute to the type of problems that somebody else may be dealing with, to the type of problems that somebody else may be going with dealing with. That's something that I have to remind myself constantly all the time is, my problems are so small and irrelevant. I'm so grateful to have these such little problems that I know I will come out of no matter what, just because that's just how I am. No problems are too big to let me down. But once you can just let go of that feeling of having to think that, oh my gosh, I always have problems. Problems always seem to find me. Yeah, because you keep rewiring that in your mind, you keep telling yourself that these problems arise, instead of saying to yourself I know that problems will happen in life, but I know that I'll always come out on the other side because of it, because I'm strong, because I'm resilient, because I've dealt with things before and I've always came out on top, that's a complete rewire shift to your whole identity and your mindset. Once you can do that, things will flow so much smoother. So I want you to think of that whenever something comes up. Okay, number five let go of wearing stress like a badge of honor. This is huge. Let me say that again. Stop letting stress wear on you. Stop wearing it. Stop wearing stress like a badge of honor. For the longest time, I would have this little thing in my head where I would say oh, I'm so stressed about Blake, oh, I'm so stressed about this, and I would tell my mom this, and I would keep complaining to her over and over about random things that were stressing me out. And I don't even remember the last time I told myself I was stressed out about anything, because I was like you know what? There's no point in sitting over here stressing about something that I have no control over. There's a difference between stressing on things you can control and not control. If you're doing the daily non-negotiables, if you're doing the things that are taking you to where you want to be, to getting you to the next level, why are you stressing? If you know these things are coming? Why are you stressing? If you can't control the outcome of it? Why are you stressing and there's stress too like, okay, thinking about a job interview. And this is where we're going to reframe our mindset, instead of saying, ah, I'm so stressed, I have this job interview, I don't know what to do, I don't know where to listen to yourself, I'm so stressed, I had this job opportunity. I have a freaking job interview. Okay, that's freaking amazing. And if this job doesn't go off, go well, I'll know it wasn't meant for me. And guess what? There's a thousand other jobs out there I can apply for and then I can have interviews too. But I they chose me, they chose me to have this interview. That's insane. I'm struggling, or I'm worrying, about what I need to wear to this interview because I have a closet full of clothes. That's insane. I'm grateful that I have a whole plethora of clothes inside of my closet to choose from. Oh, my gosh, I'm stressed about what questions they're gonna ask me. I'm grateful that they want to get to know me because they think that I could be a good candidate for this job. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Everything just changed. So I put turning it into gratitude, so reframing your mindset, like for myself this time last year I wrote and I was stressed about quitting my nine to five job and going in all in coaching, because I was stressed about well, you know what? If it doesn't work, what are my bosses mad at me? But I then I, but looking back now, I should have been like I'm so grateful that I have the luxury to quit my nine-to-five job because I live at home, because my mom would let me live here and try to build my business from the ground up, and I don't have to pay any rent, I don't have to do anything and I just have to focus on my bills and my things that I'm worrying about, and my mom will support me along the way. I'm so grateful that I have that. And I was sitting here stressing about whatever, whatever, whatever. But I knew deep down, and I kept telling my mom too, like mom, I know I can do this, I know I'm gonna make it work, and I just kept replaying that in my head. And now look at me, I'm about to move out of my, I'm about to move out of my mom's house in a month, whoo, anyways, that's not the point. The point is, once you reframe your mindset from stress to gratitude, changes, and once you sit with yourself in those moments of like, okay, what exactly am I feeling right now? Am I feeling a little bit of anxiety towards this? Why and how can I reframe my mindset to change it more towards gratitude and abundance and prosperity, and everything changes. So let's just review, let's just recap. I'm going to go back through the five different things. So you can remember. Number one I'm too young and inexperienced to make my dreams a reality, which is not true. I had to let go of that belief. I had to let go of the belief that if I don't do everything perfectly, it won't ever happen. I had to let go of the belief that my journey is not the same. It's not the same as other people's, it's different and that's how it should be. Number four oops, I skipped number four. Life happens when you allow and accept problems. I had to let go of that. Problems were consuming me and I had to know that they're going to happen. They will happen no matter what. Number five I had to let that they're going to happen. They will happen no matter what. Number five I had to let go of wearing stress like a badge of honor and turn it into purposeful gratitude. So I hope you guys got some good insights out of this. I poured my heart into this one. I'm going to keep continuing to pour my heart into all these being very real and authentic with how I'm feeling and how we can help reframe and reset our mindsets together and our identity. So stay tuned for the rest of the series on rewiring your mindset and your identity and I will see you guys in the next episode. Bye.