How To Actually Build A Body You Love - The Mindset Shifts NEEDED.

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Transcript

Intro And The Real Work

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello guys, welcome back to the podcast. It's your girl Hads here back on Heart to Heart with Hads. I hope you guys are having a blessed day, but I wanted to make this episode all about like what it really takes to create a body that you love and feel good

Victim Mindset Versus Ownership

SPEAKER_00 0:20

in. And I had just recently watched this like body positivity kind of podcast, not podcast, it was like a YouTube video where they like debated, and just a lot of the same thing kept coming up for me, or with the people that were debating is a victim being a victim of their own past because they were like, Oh, when I was younger, I got bullied for X, or when I was younger, my mom gave me a low fat X. And it yes, I do think that things happen to you and can almost like shape who you are as a person, but you cannot let the things that have happened to you and your past define who you become and the choices that you make for the future. Like, for example, and this my traumas are not nobody's traumas need to be related to each other. I'm not gonna sit here and trauma relate. But I do think that just listen to this. My dad passed away when I was in high school. I could have easily been like, this is the worst thing ever. I'm my life sucks, I'm gonna do nothing. But instead, I used that for my greater purpose, and I didn't let that affect me. I could have gone on to this whole movement about, you know, how I didn't have a dad and I didn't have all this help growing up and yada yada yada. I could have made a whole thing about it, but I didn't because I I'm strong. And when you're strong and when you're capable of doing hard things and you're adaptable and you realize that hard shit happens to everybody, you realize that you have to keep plugging along and moving along. And in that video, everybody was just so victim-oriented on their past. And I think that right there, that one thing can keep a lot of people stuck in their fat loss, weight loss journey because they still believe they are this, they have the same thought patterns as this person from 10 years ago or whenever, however old you were. I don't know, whenever you first experience something traumatic or

Identity-Based Habits That Compound

SPEAKER_00 2:32

something that maybe has kept you from reaching your potential or staying in the body that you hate or the health that you're in. And so, with that being said, it takes humility of knowing, like, yes, this is was my upbringing, and now I actually have to change my mindset and my belief system. And I think a lot of changing your body and your health comes down to the identity of who is this person that I am now? What are the habits and characteristics and traits that I have right now? Because I have had clients that have come to me overweight, severely overweight, and we've been able to help them lose 40 plus pounds. And a lot of the work that we had to do was around their mindset, around the identity of who they wanted to become and erasing and then erasing of who they didn't want to be anymore. It comes down to okay, say you're somebody who's 40 pounds overweight than what you want to be. What are the habits that that person has in this exact time? Oh, I could just name them off. These are just an examples from my past clients. Go out to eat three, four times a week fast food, pays no attention to how much they're eating or the quality of the food they're eating, doesn't exercise, this person doesn't exercise, this person really just coasts through their life. And those are the characteristics of that person. But when they come to me and they say, I want to be this person, I want to lose X amount of X for X, and I want to feel this way and this way and this way. Okay, what are the characteristics? What is the identity of the person? Close your eyes right now. Think about where you are and think about the person. I mean, this is this is what it comes down to is the nitty-gritty woo-woo stuff that nobody wants to do. Close your eyes, sit down. Where are you right now? And what are think of the ideal person, body weight, job, career, family, finances. Think of whatever it is that you want. And I want you to ideate what that person do in there every single day. What are the tiny little habits they're gonna lead up for them to reach their potential, to reach their goal, to hit that successful note for them? If it's the person that's 40 pounds overweight, oh, this is where the habits start. I don't snooze my alarm in the morning. I'm a girl that wakes up when my first alarm clock goes off. I eat breakfast, I go to the gym before work, I get 7,000 steps a day. Like when you can really start to name out these things that you do every day, those are the things you start to do. Those things compound over time, and then you reach the goal of the identity that you want to become. And then once you get there, you can have a conversation with yourself of, okay, wow, I've done really good. Celebrate the progress that you've made. And now you probably are like, well, this isn't good enough. So what's this new identity? And a lot of the times I will have clients come to me that are like, I want to change my health, but then they end up changing every aspect of their life. They're like, actually, I'm better than this job that I, this current job that I have right now. I can have more than what I have right now. And I think I don't even know where I'm going with this whole topic, because I really just got um super excited about this. But I think a lot of it comes down to where you are and where you want to go and that gap between like what are the habits? And if you don't know those habits that you need to be doing, you need to find somebody that can sit down with you and tell you this is what you need to be doing. You want to reach that identity, that said person, that said, that said goal that you have. These are the tiny little steps that you're gonna have to take. And you're gonna have to understand that this is gonna be so much more about the process and less about the person that you want to become. Because guess what? That person that you want to become will happen as a byproduct of you doing all the tiny little non-negotiable mundane things day in, day out till you reach that thing. And honestly, in the process, that's where you're built, that's where the character is built, that's what's built of the discipline and the hard work and doing things when you don't feel like it, the confidence, the tenacity to keep going and keep doing things despite how hard life gets. And I really truthfully think that's what makes somebody successful is their ability to adapt no matter the shit that they're handed. When you can take a step back and be like, this happened to me. Is it fucking shitty and terrible that I had to go through something so traumatic? Yes, it is. Now, what am I gonna do with this information to make myself better, to not play victim, to not make everything about me? That's another thing.

Your Why And The Cost

SPEAKER_00 7:33

That's my second point from that little point is what is your why behind doing what you're doing? If you are just in this life to experience pleasure, you are going to be highly, highly disappointed because that person, that person that I mentioned that you want is gonna have to sacrifice and face so much more trouble than pleasure. Because we were not put on this earth to have pleasure and happiness and sunshine and rainbows and flowers all the time. Don't get me wrong. I do think you should enjoy your life. But joy does not come until you have to do some sacrifice, until you have to put in the work. And I also think that that's what a lot of people are scared of. They don't want to do the work because they think that it won't work for them. Going back to the victim mindset, they think that they are the exception. Have you ever met a person, you probably have, that's gone through similar experiences as yourself, maybe even worse, and they're better off. What do you think the common denominator is? The common denominator is their mindset towards the thing. The common denominator is you because you think that you are the exception when in reality there is so many people that have had the same experience, or maybe even worse, and they're making it happen. It's you, it will always be you versus you. And until you can get in your mind and ingrain that in your mind that I am not the exception, if this person has done it, I can do it. And guess what? I can damn well do it so much better. That is the logic that I have because I see people that are doing better than me all the time. And I can sit here and say, oh, well, they've had this, or oh, well, they didn't have to deal with that, or oh, but then guess what that is? That's me failing to own up to the things that I've done. Not just what I've done, but things that have been done to me. And guess what? We've all had hard shit go on. So it comes down to what am I gonna do? How am I gonna be different? How am I actually just gonna make this shit happen? And I don't even care what's happened to me anymore. You make it happen no matter what. You set forth on the small, little, tiny, mundane things, like I said, to keep propelling yourself forward. Once you have a stellar mindset and you keep working on your mindset, your body will become so much better. Your body and mind work in tangent. You can master your body, then you can master your mind. If you can master your mind, then you can master your body, and vice versa. I think I just said the same thing twice. But you get what I mean. I'm oh my gosh, I just say my elbow printer. I'm getting very in like into

Dopamine Discipline And Peer Pressure

SPEAKER_00 10:17

this. But another thing too is like, I've told you everything you need to possibly know about what it takes to change your body. Stop eating out so much, stop drinking your calories. You don't need to be getting your your fix from a calorically dense drink. Yesterday, actually, Brock was like so moody. I was like, dude, what's wrong with you? And I was like, I know what you want. He was like, We don't even have any good food. Like, what did you even get at the store? I'm like, I got the same food I always get. It's healthy. You're just looking for some sort of dopamine that's not in this fridge, that's not a healthy food. And when you can sit with the fact that you're probably searching for dopamine and comfort more than anything else, it is no longer related to food. It's related to you don't have any sources of dopamine or things that are bringing you joy outside of food or comfort outside of food. How can you find comfort and joy outside of food, outside of the external? How can you find that within yourself? I think it comes a lot down to that, and it also comes down to discipline, practicing the discipline of saying no. This last week I went to a coffee shop with one of my friends, and I'm not drinking caffeine right now, and I'm not trying to have any added sugar. This is for my own health benefits. I don't care what your beliefs are, this is what I'm doing, not saying you have to follow it. I do, but we went and I was like, I don't want caffeine and I'm not getting sugar. So what did I get? An herbal tea. I got peppermint tea, which is decaffeinated, nothing. And I sipped on that because I was like, I told myself I had the discipline going into this that I wasn't going to get that. And you feel peer pressured because you see, oh, they're getting this, they're getting that, your friends are getting this. And I was like, who cares what they get? This isn't about them. This is about me, and this is about my goals. And when you can finally not care what other people think, because literally they didn't even ask me what I got. They didn't give a shit what I got. I got a peppermint tea, a hot tea. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with being somebody who doesn't fall into the same norms that everybody else falls into. And it's not to say you're better, because you're not. You're not better than somebody that doesn't order what you ordered. That's dumb. But what it is is you are disciplined and you are following your word. You're building confidence by going in and doing the thing that you said you were gonna do. On the way there, I was like, I'm not gonna get anything other than this because this is what I have set in stone. And also, I'm really trying to be on track with my macros. So guess what? I'm also not gonna get something that's gonna add calories to my day. And then I was listening to them, and one of them was like, oh my gosh, I poop like a rabbit. I'm like, what have you eaten today? She's like, she told me, and I was like, okay, there's no fiber. There's no fiber in that. You're not gonna be able to poop if you're not having solid fiber. And when you can't poop, your estrogen is getting stuck in there. And then when you have too much estrogen, you can't lose weight. And so then it's like an ongoing thing, and people don't understand all of these things, but they all are very intricate.

Fiber Strength Training And Standards

SPEAKER_00 13:22

The fiber, the water, the sleep, the protein, the strength training. I don't give a damn if you go to orange theory four, five, six times a week. If you're not strength training and if you're not pooping every day, that tells me all I need to know. Point blank, period. I'm just really going off conversations that I have, but like it really comes down to these things, like building the discipline. What do you actually want? What is what is of value to you? Have you ever just sat down and been like, these are my values, these are my morals. What do you value? I value organic food. I value having energy all day so that I can show up for my clients and my people. And that comes from me eating right. This doesn't come from me slamming a Starbucks drink because, like, oh yeah, I gotta get this quick hit of energy so I can knock out on my client check-ins. No. It comes from being very intentional with what I'm putting in my body and understanding, like being open to knowledge of, okay, this food makes me feel good. This food doesn't make me feel good. Instead of just being like, ah, I'm just a girl, it's normal because no, it's not. You're ignoring things that could make you feel and perform so much better. Not even just within your body and at the gym, but just your mental performance, how you show up for work, how your mood impacts the people that you're around at work and your family and your kids and your significant other. Once you can take a step back to realize it's not all about you, and you stop making decisions that are all about you, and they're more about the people you're around. They're about your career, they're about your relationships. You don't, at the end of the day, ultimately, yes, you want to lead a healthy lifestyle so that you can live longer and so that you can not have visceral fat and be overweight and all of these things. But at the end of the day, who else is that serving besides you? It's serving you at your job so you can get a promotion, so you can show up better at work. And when you get a promotion, you can provide better for your family, which is gonna decrease your stress, which is gonna make you feel better, which is going to give you overall a greater quality of life. And the list goes on and on. Zoom out, make it bigger than yourself because yeah, losing fat's great, looking good in XYZ outfit is great, but who else is it benefiting? Because if you don't have a strong enough why, then quite frankly, you are not going to reach or sustain the goal that you're set after. You're gonna burn out, you're gonna say, Oh, I don't really care anymore. Because you're not looking at the bigger picture, you're not zooming out and saying, This isn't about me. This is not about me. It's about those who I love. And for the generations to come, you want to build something that your kids are gonna be able to say, wow, she's a good role model. She's stuck to her word, she does things even when she doesn't want to do them. You're building qualities and traits that are gonna be passed down to your own children. And if that doesn't motivate you, if that doesn't fire you up, then I don't know what will. You know the basics, you know what to do. Now it comes down to the mindset of like, what do you really want? You can have fun, you can have a joyful life while still prioritizing your body and your health. Because without your body and your health, you have nothing. I see posts all the time about people that get sick and da-da-da-da-da. Or maybe you get sick and then you can't do anything. And when you can't do anything, nobody around you thrives. You can't make money, you can't go to work, you can't take care. And the list goes on. If you don't take care of your body, if you continue down the trajectory of poor health, poor habits, not taking care of your mental and your physical, what's gonna happen? That leads to sickness later on in life. You don't want that because then you cannot live a fulfilled life. When you get to that age, it's just it's not just normal for you to decline really quickly. It's because people's habits do not help them. Their poor habits lead them to their lifestyle that they or their life and their health span that they reach. Make your why bigger than yourself. Make your standards high. Really sit down with your values. What do you really want? How can I make myself be disciplined to do all of these things? How can I habit stat? How can I wake up at 6 a.m., brush my teeth, go to the gym, come back, get ready, and go to work, and reward myself with fun music on the radio or a dance party or whatever it

Make It Fun Then Lock In

SPEAKER_00 18:05

is. You have to make it fun. That's another thing, too, is like making it fun and enjoying the journey. The journey is the reward. That is one of my favorite quotes ever is the journey is the reward. And we often think, oh, it's reaching X goal or reaching X amount of money. And it's like, no, it's about who you become and the traits and all of the things that you gather in your wheelhouse of who you are as a person along the way. That's what makes it cool and rewarding. The journey is the reward. So I'm gonna leave you guys with that. But I just wanted to give everybody some good words of wisdom for coming back to maybe why you're doing the things you do, but also the mindset that it takes, what it actually takes to reach your goals. And it comes down to just doing the fucking thing, like doing the hard shit, putting your emotions aside when it comes to things. Stop making every feeling you have come up. Follow that. You don't have to follow the tuition. Look, I just made like four dozen cookies, and yeah, do I really want one? I do, but I am so disciplined right now. We're like, that doesn't sound appetizing to me. Nothing sounds better than staying on track to me because that's what I have programmed in my head of like, I have this specific goal, I have this number in mind, and I'm not going to stop until I get there. And that's a lot of the mindset stuff that people lack. They don't have that mindset of I'm going to do whatever it takes. I'm gonna figure it the F out. F-I-F-Figure it the fuck out. They don't have that mindset, and so then they get frustrated because they're on this constant hamster wheel of, oh man, I just gotta give in. You know, like it's just so hard right now. Life's super stressful. No, I don't care. I was more on my shit when I was stressed than ever because I was like, ooh, I am stressed. I am feeling a little bit of this right now, so I really do need to lock in. You got this. Literally, don't give up. I'm literally gritting my teeth because I stop letting me want it for you more than you want it for yourself. Stop letting somebody else want something more than you want it for yourself. Dig deep, work hard. If you want something bad enough, you will do whatever it takes to get it. And you won't stop because that's what real winners do. That's what success looks like to me.