Balance is EARNED

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Transcript

Welcome And April Fools Take

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, guys, and welcome back to Hearts Heart with Hads. Hope you guys are having a fantastic week. Today is April 1st. Happy April Fool's Day. I think that's the dumbest thing ever. I saw somebody on TikTok and they were like, help give your most unhinged advice for what you should do for April Fool's Day. And I was like, oh my gosh, come on. When are we gonna grow up? Like, I understand the fun. I understand having fun. Okay, I'm not a fun hater, but like, come on. Anyways, today I wanted to talk about balance because I hear this a lot, especially with the coaching and the type of things that I do, and have a lot of conversations with women, and they're like, I just want balance. They're like, I don't want to do an extreme diet, I don't want to like completely cut out coke for the rest of my life. Like, I just want to have balance. And while I do understand that, I do think that there we do need to have some sort of balance. I think we need to kind of define what balance looks like for us because my definition of balance is not going to look the same as somebody else's. But if your health is in jeopardy, if you are on the verge of type 2 diabetes, if you have lots of inflammation in your body, if you have hormonal issues like PCOS, things like this, and you're saying that you want balance, I'm sorry you're gonna have to throw balance out the window for a period of time. Because if you truly want to get healthy like you say you do, then I don't think that balance is the right word for you. I don't think balance is the best option for you at the point in time. And let me explain because I think so many women think that just because they have to be in a calorie deficit, just because they have to cut out particular food groups and cut out foods that this is being restrictive, when actually you haven't been restrictive your whole life. You've been you've been balanced your whole life, you've you've been overly balanced and you've had way too much of the things that are bad for you, and like very little of the things that are not good for you. So technically, you've been trying to work on balance, you've you've been unbalanced and balance, like you, you're still incorporating things that are still not good for you, and you're like on a if you think about, I saw somebody say this analogy, but if you think about like you know, in school when they would put like you we'd have we'd have this like weight thing where there'd be like two sides, and it would be like one side you put something on there and you like try to get it to even it out. And what happens when like you even it out, like literally nothing happens. So when you try to have this balance, like nothing changes. So if nothing changes, then nothing's gonna change. And I just think that too many people are like searching for some sort of balance. And the reality is is when you have goals, when you have dreams to chase after, and this just doesn't even this literally is like your health goals is like very bare from what I'm talking about. I'm talking about whether this is in like you have a dream business, you have a dream sport that you want to play. I'm just thinking of myself and Brock in general, but like there is no balanced lifestyle whenever you're chasing something that is extreme. Think of think of many of the like highest achieving people out there, whether it be sports, business, what whatever it is. I don't know. I'm just trying to think off the top of my head, like Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, do you think these people had balance? I mean, it's it's okay if like you want your lifestyle to if you want your life to not be that extreme, but if you are striving to be the best at something, you do know that these people don't have balance. And you do know that there are periods, there are seasons whenever it looks like they're going to be gone more, they're going to be traveling more. Like, for instance, Brock is really trying to go professional with his sport, and I truly think he can do it. And I I feel almost like sad because he's like working towards this goal, and I feel like I'm not being like prioritized, but I just know that that's the season that is in for him, that it's in for him and for me, since now we're going to be getting married. But like I also go through seasons where like I'm in my office for eight to ten hours a day, and I don't hardly come out and I don't hardly speak to him, and he's like, Oh my gosh, like, can you come out? Like, and so we we both are like in these kinds we go through these seasons and phases, and right now for him, it's like, okay, it's warming up and there's gonna be more tournaments and things like that. And so he is gonna be a lot more busy and he already is, and I'm already getting frustrated, like, ugh, but then I have to remind myself like this is just a season, and this is what the season's gonna be like for now. It's not temporary, but that's just the part of it. Whenever you have two people who are highly competitive, who are high achievers, who are both after different things, like there is no balance, and it is hard. Like, this is something that I struggle with because like he'll be in his doing his thing, like he'll be all in on that, and then like I'll be like, Well, I'm I'm kind of just like not in a season where I'm go, go, go like you are, and then I feel I feel bad because I feel like I'm being needy, and then it's just yeah. So, I mean, I don't really think that balance is a thing or should be like we should be striving for balance, especially if we're trying to go after something, going after our goals. Now, I do think though, for my own well-being, I think they're like I've gone through many seasons where I've just like grinded myself into the dirt and that did nothing for my health. Now, men are a little bit more resilient, but when it comes to women, like you have to find like the fine line of like work and play. And I'm delusional and I won't stop until I get something, but like recently I've had to really pull back, and like me pulling back has honestly helped me move forward more because I'm just less stressed in general about everything. And I think a lot of women need to realize that like your career cannot be your life, and a lot of people say too, like, I want balance, like when it comes to my nutrition and my health, but then they will sit there and go work 10, 12 hour days and not eat at all. And it just doesn't make sense to me because like there's there's just so many extremes. Like you say you want, you say you want this thing, but then your actions are saying this. Like, I have so many women that are like, Oh, I work all the time. Like, when life slows down, then I'll like I'll reach out to you and I'm like, your life is never gonna slow down. Like, your life is going to force you to slow down because you're it's going to start to catch up to you, and you are going to start feeling a type of way that quite frankly, I cannot freaking would not wish that upon anybody because I've been there. I've been in a in a place of burnout where I've done way too much and it's backfired and I felt like crap and I've gone through how many so many health detriments. But like the women that are typically the women that are come to me are doing way too much for other people and maybe themselves too. If like they're a business owner, entrepreneur, like I do, a lot of those people do come to me and like, oh, when life slows down. I'm like, girl, your life is not going to slow down. Like you're going to be forced to slow down because your body's going to catch up to you. And I really do believe that because I see it. I saw it in myself, and I see it in so many of the people that I coach. And some people that reach out to me, and it's like, if only they knew, if only they knew, and I wish I could just like tell them, like, please take care of your health because it it does matter. And I and I do, I am somebody that always advocates for my health when it comes to like eating healthy and exercising, but when it comes to slowing down and taking care of my body in that sense of like, okay, you actually need to focus on the like rest piece. I think that's where a lot of women actually suffer. And I don't know, like going back to the topic of balance, like you have to find, I don't want to say it's balance, I just want to say it's more like you have to find like peace within the storm that you're in, or like calm within the storm that you're in, and just know too that things are seasonal, like, but you have to work with your body and not against your body in those seasons. Um, so yeah, that's really all I had on my mind this week and today. Nothing really too extreme other than just like balance, and I understand too, there's extremes, like some people be like super extreme, and I am extreme. Well, we can just go on a little tangent of this because I actually made a TikTok about this the other day. Is like I'm an extreme person. Like when I set my mind to something, I'm gonna go full force at it. And actually, my mom brought this up at dinner, but we were going out to eat to dinner, and my mom was like, I bet Hadley won't eat any of these rolls. And I'm like, Yeah, you're damn right I'm not gonna because I'm determined to reach the goals that I have set for myself. Like, you can sit there and say too that that's restrictive all you want, but like really at the end of the day, nobody gives a damn. Nobody gives a hoot about the decisions you make, and you sitting there thinking about what somebody else thinks of you is only making you stress yourself out more. And I've learned this the hard way because I've gone to dinners, I've gone, I've done it all, I've I've bodybuilt, like I've done these things for years on end, and literally nobody cares. They may ask you about it, they may ask you if you want this, but you sitting there feeling guilty or shameful for you not partaking, it's all in your head. Just literally say no, say yeah, I'm not, or and then just leave it at that. There's no sitting there having to dwell on it. Because I think really you dwell more on the fact that you said no about eating the thing than you actually stressing about not eating the thing, if that makes sense. Um, my mom was saying that she was like, she won't eat that. And I was like, no, you're like, I'm not going to. Like, I have goals and I know that like if I start indulging on this, I'm gonna start indulging everything else, and it's literally gonna kill all of my progress that I've made in a week. And you're like, Hadley, that's so extreme. Okay, okay, cool. That's extreme for you, but this is what's gonna work for me. And I quite frankly don't care. And two days later, I had a new low. Like, I'm trying to get leaner, I'm trying to get my physique more refined because I feel like I've gotten really I mean, I did go through uh, I guess like a phase where I was eating more, and that was just I don't even know why I did that, just to just so I could eat more, which was dumb, I feel like. So I want to tighten it up. Like, I want to be the walking embodiment of what I want to look like and what I want my brand to represent of like a lean, healthy body that's sustainable. But like, I gotta get myself there first. And I want, and I I'm tired of going through like the bulking, the cutting, the bulking, the cutting. Like, I know you need to do these things to grow, but at the same time, like for myself, I don't need to be eating like 3,000 calories at a time and then cutting down and then like I don't need to do that unless I'm actually competing and going through all these phases. Like, I just want to be uh look good, look lean, have abs, have cap shoulders, which is very doable for me without it being too extreme. And it's okay to want these things. I think that's another thing too, is like we think that just because we want to look good, that it's selfish, and I think it's totally fine for you to want to be selfish for how you look and how you present your body. Like I don't think what people understand that how you look is a direct reflection of how you take care of yourself, and I want to be known because that is something that is important to me, that is something that I value is somebody who takes care of their body because that is exactly what my brand represents. And if I don't take care of my body, if I'm not the walking embodiment of my body then or of my brand, then like what the heck? Like, she's a fluke, she's a fake. Like, I want to be that person. And so getting there and starting to do the things again that I was doing to keep me fit, more fit and healthy. Not saying that I ever like gave up the gym, but like I kind of just focused a lot more in on my business and less on my on my body, which my body is literally the walking embodiment of my business. And I just had to get back to like, okay, remember like why we started this, like why you're doing this? Like, you want other people to be healthy. Not that I was overweight by any means, but like it wasn't who I wanted to be, it wasn't what I wanted a ray of wellness to represent. So all that being said, I don't even know where I'm going with this. Now I'm just going on a tangent. I think too that a lot of people just think that just because you're eating healthy, like you're trying to punish yourself, like you don't like the the idea of like a diet or and it's like remove that from your head because whenever you decide to start taking care of your body, you're making a commitment to yourself and your well-being. Like it's not just about oh, looking X amount of way, it's not just about, oh, I'm following this, so I have to be super restrictive. Like you're taking care of your body by restricting yourself from foods that literally do no good for you. You can say that's extreme. You can call me extreme, but I'm not the girl for you. I just want you to know that whenever you have goals and you set out to achieve them, it does require extremes. And balance may not be a thing for a while. I think you have to earn your right to balance. Ooh, I'm in it with that. Earn your right to have balance. Earn it. All right, guys. See you in the next episode. Love ya.