Episode 8: From Combat to Connection: A Veteran's Tale of Transition and Triumph

Embarking on a civilian life after the military is no simple feat, as I, Sean, have learned through my own tumultuous journey. Join me as I recount the struggles and triumphs that followed my departure from the structured world of combat zones in Albania and Iraq to the neon buzz of Las Vegas's civilian job market. I delve into the emotional and financial battles that come with this transition, the pivotal role of relationships in rediscovering stability, and how PTSD shaped my path long before it was a common discussion. With unfiltered honesty, I reflect on how my pursuit for a better life led me down the entrepreneurial road in Australia, all while navigating the complexities of personal development and the necessity to forge real-life connections over the shallow promises of social media popularity.

As I take you through the nuances of adjusting to life after service, we also tackle the hard truths about veteran stereotypes in mental health and the job market. I share how military accolades, though personally meaningful, are often lost in translation within the civilian workforce, and why finding joy in diverse passions—from art to sewers—is key to fulfillment. We'll explore the challenges of offering employee benefits, such as dental care, while wrestling with government red tape, and I'll give you a glimpse of my own battle with networking and public speaking. As we wrap up, the conversation turns to the essential tools for professional growth that have also sculpted my personal evolution, setting the stage for more in-depth discussions in future episodes.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello and welcome back to Full Circle with Sean. I'm your host, sean, and as promised from the last episode, today we'll be talking about transitioning from military to civilian life. So if you haven't watched episode 4 and 5, it does tie in a bit with my wife and I recommend you go back and listen to those if you haven't. Now for you who don't know, I joined the army at 17. And I did two combat tours one in Albania during the Kosovo conflict and one in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom. So we get back from Operation Iraqi Freedom Now.

Speaker 1: 0:35

Remember, I was ordered back in, so I was green to gold. I went to university and then I ended up going out of university right back in to the military to go to gold. I went to university and then I ended up going out of university right back in to the military to go to Iraq. So I get out, get back from Iraq and it's time for me to get out or extend, right. So I've decided I'm getting out and, based on the feedback from the colonel that I was working under in the base, it told me I should go out and start my own thing. Now I still wasn't really motivated to start my own thing. I guess you could say that because you know it's a business right, it's intricate, it's complex, it's something that other people do. So I was getting out, looking for a job and finding a job in Las Vegas as a generator mechanic. So I get out of the military, I moved to Las Vegas and I start working as a generator mechanic.

Speaker 1: 1:34

Now was I very good at generating mechanic Not really, I mean, I had the basic skills, and in the military it's all about ripping everything apart and just changing it out right. So I could split a generator in half, I could change stuff, I could do basic troubleshooting, but not to the level that a commercial company required me to be. So it took a lot of mentorship and a lot of working with me, which was great. The management was fantastic and helped me through those times. So I get out of the military in Las Vegas working for a generator company and everything's weird right. So when I was in the military, I had a big support network. I had financial stability. I was in debt. Don't get me wrong.

Speaker 1: 2:19

One of the things with the military is, as soon as you get in the military, everybody will give you a loan. I mean I think we had what was it? Encyclopedia salespeople. One time I actually bought them too. I mean that's I was young, right? So get your encyclopedias and you know what, we'll take it out of your pay. So you just sign here. Did it come out of your pay? So most soldiers, especially in early days and even later on, they want the fancy car. They can get it and they just leverage themselves and they end up getting well, pretty much no pay, and I think that's a tactic in a way, because it keeps people in the military.

Speaker 1: 2:54

So I'm leveraged, I'm out, my support network is gone and I'm alone, right, because I'm a foster kid, so I didn't really have any family. I'm a foster kid, so I didn't really have any family, I'm alone. So I tried the whole dating scene and that didn't really work and, yeah, I was just alone. And then, obviously, that's when my now wife reconnected with me and I found out she lived through everything. And then I went down to the recruitment office and I went back over to Iraq, not as a soldier but as a civilian and worked in Iraq and then visited her every six months until we got engaged and we got married.

Speaker 1: 3:33

So that's a long story short, but lots of struggles. I mean the things that you go through just when you decide to get out anyways. I mean, think of any change in life. But this isn't just a change in location, this isn't just a change in anything else. It's a massive change. You're changing careers, you're changing locations, you're moving away from friends, and it's a massive change.

Speaker 1: 4:00

And at the same time, I had a little bit of PTSD from the military. I mean, I was in Chinook that caught on fire in a hot zone and we ended up landing inside a base and running off the aircraft. But I had PTSD for all the things that I saw and all the things that happened over there. But that was before PTSD was a popular term. It was more of a suck it up and drive on thing back then. I guess if I was going to give any advice to people when they go in the military is get financial counseling, don't make those same mistakes that I made and save. Like I said in previous episodes, we're an instant gratification kind of society now and that really will hurt you in the military when anybody will give you a loan or anything you want, because they can take it right out of your paycheck.

Speaker 1: 4:59

Now, as a contractor a little bit better, right, because I'm surrounded by the military again and I can form the relationships and I have the support structure again a little bit harder, because I wasn't embedded as a unit, I was a civilian and I went to Iraq and then they needed somebody to go to Africa. So I went to Africa, actually supported the Navy SEALs for a bit, which was fantastic, and then, yeah, then I'm getting married and everything and over to Australia and then it's like I just got out again because I had all that support structure again and I was almost back in that military mindset. And so I come over and and again, you know, change of location, change of careers, like what am I going to do? And that led to everything I talked about in the previous episodes, about starting the IT company and going on from there. Not that I wanted to, you know. I did look for a job, I wanted to secure my new wife, our future, have kids, and I didn't know that I would succeed as an entrepreneur and, yeah, I kind of got pushed into that. And then, once I got a taste of it, a taste of having my own thing, right, because it's as good, as hard as I work and as good as I make it, I just, yeah, I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny and I wouldn't change that now.

Speaker 1: 6:28

So I guess, if we look at it, if somebody's getting out of the military you know A did you mess up your financials while you were in and that's not a showstopper. You know you still might be able to survive out there and you can work with your creditors to survive and get yourself a start. But better if you fix all that, uh, the best that you can, or at always have a buffer that you never touch unless the clouds are black and it's dark and you have no way out, and yeah, so he calls it his black day money, but yeah, so financial is important. But then set up your own support structures. You first get out and live it on your own.

Speaker 1: 7:23

New area, new job, you know, join, join a club, you know, uh, check online and meetup. Meetup has lots of things for people to do and and I'm not, I'm not sponsored by anybody. I'm too early in that, but still, uh, I tell it how it is and meetup is great, so you can, you can start your own support network, so that's super important. There's also veterans groups. So I'm part of the VFW, I'm part of the American Legion, and the people in those groups they understand what you're going through as well. Obviously, everybody goes through something a little bit different, but they do understand and they can provide some support to you as far as emotional support to you as far as emotional support and you know you need a sounding board. I found that's really important in life, right? So you need a sounding board.

Speaker 1: 8:22

So what we think in our heads versus what is reality is always a little skewed, right. That's why I always say that you know you should have friends from all cultures, from all walks of life, because you're walking around, somebody says something you're like oh yeah, that's just typical of whatever, right, but maybe it's not, and you're just your preconceptions can really mess up your life. So that's something that you should always be challenging yourself with as well. Is I just thought that way, or I? Somebody said something like that and I was like, yeah, but are you sure, should you have challenged that? That's what sets people apart, the people that just engage in talking about preconceptions, about other people, other groups, everything like that. So you should always have a big network. Acquaintances is fine when they say that if you have five big network, you know acquaintances is fine. What they say, that if you have you know five best friends, you're you're pretty lucky.

Speaker 1: 9:20

And everybody thinks that you know their Facebook page when it blows up, is they've got a million best friends. But you don't. You know, you have some people that like to listen to you every once in a while or you know see who's who's doing the more important thing, which, which is funny, because I don't really do socials. Yeah, I know, I started a podcast, right, I don't really do socials. I do LinkedIn. I got off Facebook years ago, myspace before that, for you that remember MySpace. I did Twitter a little bit, but more for the company, and really I just don't like drama. I don't like the drama that's in them. So much more things that I'd rather do than focus on that kind of stuff and it really engulfs your life. You will feel so much better when you get off some of that stuff. And I'm not saying like, yeah, my wife keeps my Facebook somewhat active, I guess because she talks to a friend of ours through my Facebook, but that's, I think Facebook calls or something like that. Again, see, there you go, I'm tech and I have no idea.

Speaker 1: 10:30

And I guess the next thing if you get out of military life is what do you enjoy doing your job? And what you were trained for in AIT advanced individual training for those who don't know isn't what you have to stick with for your life. In fact, you can use the military. If you're thinking, oh, I'm going to get out in a couple of years, or you're early on in a contract or you're in your second contract, then you can think about okay, maybe you can do night school. They have the GI Bill or the funds for that. I don't know if they still do the GI Bill. I had the GI Bill and use it, but I had it. But there are ways to get veterans benefits for that kind of stuff. It's setting yourself up right.

Speaker 1: 11:18

You are either your best friend or your worst enemy. So you have to work on you and find out what's your passion. If your passion is art, go take art classes, you know. And don't listen to other people where they say, oh, you know, there's not much money in certain things, or you know, I think my brother wanted to be a teacher and my mother was like, oh, but you make good money at what you do. Why would you want to be a teacher? And if that's your passion, then be a teacher. You know, it's one life, it's a short life, and if you're not happy in your life, what are you doing? You might be somebody that likes to go and do the same thing every day, so be a factory worker and that's perfectly fine. In fact, the society that we live in now needs everybody, needs all walks of life and everybody's passions to come in. I was doing a job with our Roger and we were putting it in a sewer right and the person that was there worked for the water board and just super passionate about sewers. That's what that person's passionate about.

Speaker 1: 12:23

So you've got to find your passions and find out where you can focus those in a career, in a job, in an after-work thing. So you need to find yourself and what makes you happy. And, as I always said, as well as you know, you might think well, I need another person to make me happy. Right, and don't get me wrong, I was quite lonely when I got out and and I tried all that, you know, to find somebody and everything, but it's, if you're not happy by yourself, then you're relying on the other person and then you're not going to be happy forever, almost, unless that other person gives you the attention that you need, and that's not really a healthy relationship. Sure, you do want to connect like that and you do want to make each other happy, but not like a like, not like a job, you know.

Speaker 1: 13:23

So again, a bit off tangent as I like to do, so let's just go over a couple of misconceptions. So, as a military person getting out of the military, you think, okay, I've got military experience, everybody's going to love that, I'm disciplined, I'm going to get immediate job opportunities. Well, that's that's. A misconception is that military skills will immediately transition to civilian job offers. And some military skills are transferable or you might work for a defense company, but they can take quite a bit of time. In fact, the right time to start looking for a job if you're going to get out is before you get out and quite a bit before you get out. And then a lot of military people think that you know it'll be an easy fit into the civilian workplace, you know they're disciplined and should be an easy fit. But you know the differences, the cultural differences between military and civilian work are significant. Between military and civilian work are significant.

Speaker 1: 14:20

Then you have the mental health stereotypes, right. So you've got a lot of companies or people thinking that veterans will struggle with mental health issues like PTSD and I did struggle with PTSD before it was a thing and while mental health is a serious concern, most veterans don't face these issues and a lot of them that do are fully capable of leading successful and fulfilling lives after service. And then we go to say education benefits right. So veterans often believe that their education benefits will be straightforward, but the benefits system and educational path can pose a lot of challenges. I mean, how do you access stuff and how do you survive when you get out, if you are going to do school, if you're going to use your funds to do school afterwards? And then a lot of veterans think that you know their awards mean so much when you get out and they do to you, to your family, to the people that you affected, and maybe you've changed lives because of some amazing things that you've done, but they don't mean anything to almost anybody else. So it's just the way that it is. I mean, I requested my VA records shoot a year ago so that I can rebuild a Class A uniform to show my kids all the medals that I have, because I have quite a few and I'm still waiting, because the system is just rubbish and it's really hard to get your records, which sucks.

Speaker 1: 15:57

You know, in fact funny story I got out of the military, so okay. So when I was in the military obviously I was foster kid and everything I was never taught to take care of my teeth very well, right. So I'm in Germany, I'm in the military, my teeth are just pretty bad and there was a dentist who saw me when I had a big problem and decided that they were going to fix everything. Now the thing about dentists and doctors in the military is either they're brand new right In the US military at least, so they're either brand new and learning or they're not very good, and you do get the rare one that is really good and it's their passion. They want to be military, they want to help, so all praise to them. But the majority of them are are either brand new or not good, because they in in the States you can get out and, as a dentist, make a lot of money or, as a doctor, make a lot of money. So, um, and it's a? Yeah, it's. It's a different life.

Speaker 1: 17:04

But so this dentist took me under his wing and he did all this work and, yeah, a couple of years later everything was breaking really bad and falling out and my mouth was a disaster. So I get out of the military and they told me that, because of the dental, work couldn't be done because I got out before they could do it, that I could go to a local and they would pay for that. So I requested my records to get that started about a year later and they said, oh sorry, we lost your records, so I didn't get any of it done. In fact, when I came to Australia, my teeth were so bad that I ordered that's a funny story, right? I ordered the fake teeth, so the ones that you use for Halloween, right and I'd cut those apart. And then they have this wax that melts in hot water and I would build myself one missing tooth in the front and a chipped tooth just around the side and I'd stick it in like a self-made denture and I could talk and you wouldn't know that I had teeth problems and it only lasted about a month every time. And I take it out if, if I wasn't at meetings and stuff like that. But then it only lasted like a month every time and I'd have to. You know, I started ordering sets and and building them and everything. And then when the company got big enough, I actually went in and and I got all on four. So they actually my teeth were so bad that they ripped them all out and put screws in permanent teeth. So yeah, it's actually one of my things.

Speaker 1: 18:41

One of my passions is dental, because I was sick all the time. I had chest infections, I had all sorts of problems and it was from my teeth. But dentist work is so expensive and I believe that that's a standard of living. It is like medical, like going to see a doctor, and I know doctor visits are expensive but they're doable to see a general practitioner or whatever it's doable, but it's not doable to pay $4,000 to cap a tooth. That's just not feasible for most people and it's not fair because it can lead to heart problems, obviously, diseases, getting sick more often and a really lower standard of living.

Speaker 1: 19:31

So it is one of the things that I want to do in the company is give free dental eventually, and the accountants told me that it's considered a fringe benefit and it could be bad on the wages of your people because you have to declare it and I'm like, why does the government have to get involved at that point?

Speaker 1: 19:49

Why can't we give more, especially with things like dental or medical, to our employees?

Speaker 1: 19:56

I mean, I don't understand that at all Because it's a, like I say, it's a standard of living and it's one of my passions to help people with. So I'll deal with that later in business anyway. So, yeah, that's about it for this episode and the next episode we're going to talk about networking, because I think that's a really important skill to have and it's hard and public speaking and I used to join a networking group I had to give the was a 30second overview, I think it was, they called it, and they go all around and everybody had to stand for 30 seconds and I would sweat and it was tough. But we'll talk about all of that and how to hone your skills a little bit and why it's important, and not just in professional life but in personal life as we build our relationships, our mentors and the path that we want to be on in our life. So thanks again for joining me at Full Circle with Sean and I look forward to chatting in the next one.