Episode 12: Full Circle: Walking the Path of Integrity and the Impact of Ethical Choices

As I reminisce about the poignant lessons learned in the dusty streets of Iraq and the homes of foster care, I'm reminded of the profound truth that our actions ripple far beyond what the eye can see. This episode of Full Circle takes you on a journey through the labyrinth of ethics and integrity, guided by the sage words of Maya Angelou and Aldo Leopold. We'll unravel the threads of moral principles, behavioral standards, and the influence of culture on our everyday choices. Through candid tales from my own life, including the heartwarming purity of my daughter's instinctive kindness, we'll see the world through a lens that values honesty, fairness, and the weighty responsibility of being a beacon for others.

Embarking on this conversation means confronting the uncomfortable realities of personal sacrifice and the courage to stand up for what's right, even when the stakes are high. I'll share a military story that illustrates the essence of integrity in the face of adversity, and we'll contemplate why adulthood often dims the compassionate impulses we had as children. This discussion isn't just theoretical—it's a call to action, inviting you to consider the authenticity behind social media's virtue signaling and inspiring you to perform genuine acts of kindness. As we consider the bedrock of integrity and ethics, and how they shape our identities and careers, I challenge you to reflect on your values and the legacy you're building with each decision you make.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello and welcome back to Full Circle with Sean. I'm your host, sean, and today we're talking about ethics and integrity. So if we look at Maya Angelou, who said Do the best you can until you know better, then, when you know better, do better. And we have Aldo Leopold, who said Ethical behavior is doing the right thing when no one else is watching, even when doing the wrong thing is legal thing, when no one else is watching, even when doing the wrong thing is legal. And I think that's a pretty good point, because our legality changes all the time. What's legal today might be illegal tomorrow, and what's illegal today may be legal tomorrow. So just do the right thing.

Speaker 1: 0:38

So let's start with ethics. Let's look at some principles of ethics. So you have your moral principles, which are more of your values guiding your behavior, of right and wrong, so what is actually morally good or morally bad? You have the behavioral standards. So what is acceptable behavior in society as a whole or in specific groups, like your workplace or community groups? You have universal values. So these are values that a lot of people believe in worldwide, such as fairness, justice, honesty, respect, things like that. And then we have accountability, where it is the importance of personal accountability and acting consistently with your ethical beliefs and acting consistently with your ethical beliefs. And then we have the societal impact of ethics, which is the behavior which has the wider impact of actions on other people and society as a whole. And then we have cultural influence. So cultural influence really recognizes that different cultures can have varied ethical norms or even practices. So that's a very high-level gist of what ethics is.

Speaker 1: 1:49

And now, what is integrity? So integrity is made up of honesty, so being truthful and transparent, consistency, constant behavior and your adherence to your moral and ethical principles. Back to accountability that's also part of ethics. And the ability to take responsibility for your own actions right and admitting when you make mistakes and making efforts to rectify your mistakes. Integrity is ethical strength, so you uphold your standards, even in difficult situations or when you're facing personal costs for upholding such standards. Trustworthiness, so being reliable and trustworthy in all your personal and your professional dealings. And then respect for others. So integrity is about respect for others, treating others with respect and fairness, valuing their rights and contributions as much as you value yours. And then, finally, courage. So do you have the courage to do it the right way, even when it's challenging or unpopular.

Speaker 1: 2:51

So if we look at when I was in Iraq, right, we had a group that was contracted with us and I knew and if you listen to my video on military deployment in Iraq I might have touched on this I knew that the contractors were probably going to be let go, because when a new unit takes over a base, they like to form their own relationships, which I don't completely agree with because you have a set. But it's kind of like any business, right, it has to be my idea or I don't get the full credit for it. So it's just what happened. But what I did is I made sure that the contractor put aside some money and made sure that they were taking care of them. I remember we all sat around the table, it was almost our last day, we had a cake and I thanked everybody for all their hard work, and then I was honest with them. This might be what happens. This might happen. You might be let go and here's some extra money to get you through and I wish you the best with your life. And I had people. I had one guy that cried and he this is going to help me get married and everything.

Speaker 1: 3:59

So I mean you also change people's lives. But it was more about being honest, you know, being fair and respecting what they have done for us, not to set them up for failure moving forward. So let's start with ethics and integrity in our personal lives, right? So the one thing that foster care taught me is that life is not fair. If you are young, then it's not really your fault that you got the short end of the stick, but that's just how it goes. And in our circumstances at birth, you know where we were born, our parents we have, if we're poverty or not, they're starting points. They don't have to define the trajectory of our life or the height of our achievements, and I do suppose that if nobody tells us that when we're young, then how would we ever know? So, no matter who you are, you can always be that person that gives that one little piece of advice and you could be the one that changes the trajectory of someone's life.

Speaker 1: 5:01

Now, while I might not be super religious today, or very religious at all, it did play a very pivotal role in my understanding of ethics and integrity at a very young age. I really believe that without grasping onto religion, I would have grasped onto my sister's friendship group in a way that would have set my trajectory very, very different. Not to say that I didn't latch onto them, because I did. I needed some belonging in a group, but not in the way that I would have. I wouldn't have seen a way out. That would have been my path, that would have been my future, and I would have seen that as my hope. To be like them, and not that that is ethics and integrity per se, but it is how they began to form in young Sean. And now we spoke about courage and doing the right thing when it's not popular.

Speaker 1: 5:56

You can see all of the social media of people helping others, and while that's great, most of it's staged and you know this, I know this, we all know this it makes us feel warm and it just makes us feel great, right. So we watch it, we like it, we give a little hearts, and so my question is how many of you have went to Subway, saw somebody sitting out front in rags, went in, ordered double and then, when you came out, you handed over a meal to that person? And I would guess very few, if anybody. We love watching the hype while staying in our own bubble, our own little, safe little bubble. Now, does that make us unethical or compromise our integrity, I mean debatable? Are we honest with ourselves when we're liking those videos then? No, not really, because we wouldn't do the same thing. Are we upholding the universal values of fairness and respect to those people? And maybe not.

Speaker 1: 7:00

In fact, a lot of you probably walk away and say I wish they didn't bother me today. I wish they would go away. And if you actually dig into some of their stories, there's some pretty haunting stories that some of those people have. And yeah, they've went through stuff too, and if you could understand that, you would be different. But we stay a distance away from them all. And I know my daughter, so we I try to tell her some of this stuff. And she was out and you know she had a couple dollars in her pocket and she saw somebody homeless in the city when she was there and she asked my wife, can I just give them my money? And my wife was like, are you sure you want to? She said yeah, absolutely, and she felt sad for that person. And when do we lose that right? When do we go from a child to an adult where, all of a sudden, we don't care as much as we used to, because that happens to a lot of people and that's something we should really reflect on. But I'm getting off topic, as I usually do.

Speaker 1: 8:07

So let's get back and say how about, if you have a friend? So let's just take a little thought experiment. You have a friend, one who constantly borrows money and has some bad habits that you kind of ignore. Why haven't you went to that person's house? Why haven't you sat with them and opened up about your struggles? And why haven't you went to that person's house? Why haven't you sat with them and opened up about your struggles? And why haven't you shared with them that they're not alone, that you're open to listen and you're open to help? So I have a friend who I don't see enough, but I know, no matter what. I can call him at 2 am and said I need help, and he'd come. Not only would he come, he would listen, he would help and he would try to lift my spirits, and there would be no complaining, there'd be no upset, and you know. But what would you do? What would you do in that same situation? Would you get angry? Would you tell them off? Or would you just ignore the phone call or not help them at all.

Speaker 1: 9:01

But I guess that's being reliable and being trustworthy and respecting other people and valuing their rights and contributions, and having the courage to do the right thing at the right time at the right time. And we don't always make the right choices, that's for sure. I can definitely fall into that bubble from time to time. But if we learn from the choices we do make, then we can continuously make better choices. The key is really being open to change, open to growth and maintain our ethics and integrity, even when nobody is looking. Now let's go over some ethics in professional life.

Speaker 1: 9:38

So when I was again in Iraq, I would, I'd stand in guard duty for some of my soldiers because they were doing long hours and they were still my soldiers, regardless of if they're on guard duty. And I would, I would fill in for them sometime. And the other NCOs or non-commissioned officers that's what you call a sergeant or above they didn't like that. They're not your soldiers right now is what they tell me, and you don't have to do that. So why would you do that? And I said because they are my soldiers and when we get back they will be my soldiers again, full time, and that's just what you should be doing. So this goes on for a while and I'm in charge of rebuilding the base camp and I need air conditions for them, right. So almost everybody else has air conditioning except for the guard soldiers.

Speaker 1: 10:30

So that we got finally got electricity for him and and we put I want to put air conditioning in, but the the colonel on the base wanted big screen TVs. Not the same colonel that worked in the in, but the colonel on the base wanted big screen TVs. Not the same colonel that worked in the medical, a different colonel. He wanted big screen TVs in one of his boardrooms or something and said well, you have to wait on the air conditioners. And it was hot, and these guys are doing 12-hour shifts seven days a week and it is hot, right.

Speaker 1: 10:55

So I had just gone through a whole bunch of not fun days because we had the bombing, the what was it? The canal hotel bombing as well, and so we've done all that and then I just I lost it. I went into the main tent with everybody, I took my radio, I threw it on the ground and I said I'm not doing this. If you're going to be like that, and tell that person in there to blah, blah, blah, right, I was in a bad place. And then I went back to my my little room, um, and passed out for about two days. I was sick, I was exhausted and I was fed up.

Speaker 1: 11:34

Now, when I came to two days later, the colonel was there right. And I'm like, oh crap, all right, there goes my rank right. And it didn't actually happen. So he said look at Sean or Sergeant Taylor at the time. Look at Sergeant Taylor, it's fine, I understand where you're coming from. Next time, come in my office, close the door and have a go. If you need to have a go, don't do it in front of everybody and we'll just forget that happened. Go get your air conditioners.

Speaker 1: 12:05

Of course I got away with it, which is surprising, but at the end of the day I got what I needed and I learned something from it. I learned there's a better way to get what you need. But at the same time, I wasn't going to compromise my integrity for helping the people that I was put there to take care of, no matter how difficult it was and if I was going to lose my rank, even if I went into the tent afterwards or didn't do it in that way and said that it still could happen. Right, I still stood up for them, and that's important. You have to stand up for what you believe in and that. So ethics and integrity can be really hard. Right, you will have tough times.

Speaker 1: 13:04

Let's say, your business isn't doing very good and you need to make up some money. So what are you going to do? Well, you'll have to lighten your resources, oh yeah, but you, you've got some clients, they've got some, um, some pockets, and you'll just bill them for some extra hours. That's not right and that's something you're going to have to deal with for a long period of time. If you, if you cut some, some resources, so you you shut down some stuff or unfortunately have to let some people go, then, yes, you're going to struggle even more. Maybe you've got the work, you just don't have the money. So you might struggle a bit and get through that and you're going to have some sleepless nights and you're going to have a lot of stress. But you're going to overcome that in one way or the other.

Speaker 1: 13:50

But the minute you start cheating the system or cheating your clients or just overall cheating in business, that is something that will stick with you for the rest of your life. You can always be called up on that. You can be called up on that tomorrow. You can be called up on it a year from now. It is something that you may lose sleep over forever. Is that what you really want? So you can look at it like that. You can look at it like. You can look at it like well, yeah, if I get caught, I'm gonna have a a worse day in a worse, uh, longer time period.

Speaker 1: 14:21

But how about thinking that it's not ethical? Um, I compromise my own integrity by doing that and I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be known for that and I don't want to be that person. I don't want to know myself for that. Not just there. Maybe nobody ever finds out about some of the things that you've done or are planning to do, but you don't want to be that person to you Because, at the end of the day, you're responsible for you, and I guess that's a funny way to look at it.

Speaker 1: 14:50

Right, we often judge ourselves by how other people look at us, by how well we do in in certain things. There are certain aspects of our life or business, but it's really we should be looking at ourselves and saying am I doing what I want to do and who I want to be and I guess that's a a bigger conversation for another time but in in relation to ethics and your personal integrity, whether it be business or personal life, who are you and who do you want to be? Now we will come into times where we have complete ethical dilemmas. Right, is that the right thing to do, or is that not the right thing to do? And you really are not sure, because it isn't black and white, it isn't as simple as you know stealing or something like that. It's something that isn't so black and white.

Speaker 1: 15:42

So let's look at like a 10-piece process for this right. So the first thing we're going to do is we're going to identify the conflict. So we're going to define the ethical issues that we think exist and understand the conflict between the different values or interests that we have. And then we're going to gather as much information as we can all the information to really try to understand the context and the implications of each possible conflict decision. Now that we have all the consequences, let's evaluate those. So let's evaluate all potential outcomes of the different choices that we make, and not just the immediate term impact of the choices we make, but also the long-term effects of the decisions that we are about to make. Then we'll look at the ethical guidelines. So are there ethical guidelines, such as standards by if your profession or your organization to help try to guide you in your decision making process, and then we might seek advice.

Speaker 1: 16:38

So, if you listen to some of my previous podcasts on mentorship, we're going to consult with, with our mentors or colleagues or whoever we have in our lives, to try to grab out as much as we can and understand different points of view right, because we want different opinions, we want different points of view on everything. And then what you really want to do is you want to reflect on your core values. So which decisions align with your personal and professional values? And this type of reflection, now that you have all of this information, can help provide some of your clarity and some of your direction. And then we're going to think about the precedent Are there any precedents for your decision and how does it align with other things that people have done or established practices and principles? And then we're going to evaluate integrity. So we're going to ensure the decision upholds your integrity and the integrity of your organization. Again, if it's personal, not so into organization, but if it's a company or your business or something, it's how does it align? And then we're going to make a decision, we're going to make a careful consideration and we're going to enact our decision and then, after the decision is done and everything is done, you've done whatever you wanted to do. We're going to reflect, we're going to review the outcome. How did everything turn out? Are there still long-term implications that are coming out? And reflect Did we make the right choice?

Speaker 1: 18:17

Do we think that maybe we made the wrong choice? And how can we improve in the future by the decisions that we made today? And did we get it right? Just plain and simple did we get it right? And you're not going to get it right every time. Did we get it right? And you're not going to get it right every time?

Speaker 1: 18:37

But it's best guess, putting in all these processes to ensure that you get to best guess and this goes back to the leadership podcast. Right, you don't always know the right answer. Leaders don't always know the right answer, but once you've gone through this process and you came up with what you think is the right answer and you've done your due diligence on this, then you enact what you think is the right answer and you deal with the consequences of your actions. So if you got it completely wrong, then you will deal with the consequences, whether it be you messed up your business or you had to let a bunch of people go because of what you decided, or or your business completely crashed or people are no longer talking to you and your family because you didn't think that certain things would affect them, but they did and you have to deal with that. You're going to have to deal with that and time will help you recover from that. But at least you didn't just make a decision willy-nilly right. You really tried, and that's the first step, I guess, is really really trying.

Speaker 1: 19:43

So I guess what I'm really trying to say in this whole conversation that we're having is important to maintain your integrity and ethics, because they are the cornerstone of who you are, of who you are, and they set the direction of your personal growth and your professional success.

Speaker 1: 19:56

And I know what you're going to say. I know some people that have grown professionally and they're not very ethical or their integrity is quite lacking, and that's fine. That's fine and you know who they are, but that's not who you are and you are responsible for you, so I guess that's good for ethics and integrity. There's obviously so much more that we can talk about, but let's leave it at that. I mean, this series that we're doing right now after my background that we talked about are fundamental. So we're just talking about some of the fundamental values and some of the fundamental concepts that will bring us to much more deep conversation that we'll be having later on in this series. So, with that, our next episode will be a talk on teams and culture. So thanks for joining me today on Full Circle with Sean, and I look forward to chatting with you in the next one.