The Valley E5 POOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME

We cover the latest episode of The Valley1

Transcript

unknown 0:12

We got you all route up, baby.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Chris and Angela. Let's go. Welcome back everyone to another episode of All Ralda Podcast. This is Chris.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

And this is Angela. Okay, I know you can't see this. One day we'll be on video. But if you could see the way when he says, Welcome back or whatever, you kind of like you do something with your like head and shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

It's like you gotta get the power of the welcome.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Like you have to get momentum.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

The welcome is like you gotta hit the welcome, or if or else it's like you know, it's like, yeah, you know, you gotta really.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

And that is probably the antithesis of that.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

It's so sad how this show started off so strong. Season one, I was like, holy shit, this is the best show ever. And it just it lost its way. It really did.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

It was a sad scene, like, right? I mean, we have these like two like postpartum things, and you can you imagine like a bunch of housewives who were in a dark place after they gave birth, and then it's like triggering them in some way. Yeah, you know what I mean? And then we have like the whole like the guys suck on the show aspect.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Like, who are we rooting for? What guy? None. Danny's an idiot. No, Jason's an idiot. Yep. Maybe Jesse. Jesse's kind of Jesse's the closest. He's the closest because everyone else sucks. Schwartz is fine, but he's just Schwartz.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Uh uh now he's competing against fucking Dr. Dre, dude. It's like, can you imagine? Like, you know, like I'd be totally down for this.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

I just I really feel I could be completely wrong, but do we think Michelle knows like the the jams, the true Dr. Dre jams?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

There's no fucking way. That's what I'm saying. There's no fucking way, dude.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

If we're gonna be talking, because we were talking about gold diggers kind of in our Rhode Island episode, like Michelle literally remember we were like all speculating on what movie director she was Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

And now Dr. Dre, like this chick just goes to Hotel or Chateau, Chateau Mar, what's it called? Marmont? Marmot.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Yeah. Remember uh Chateau?

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Chateau.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Chateau.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Oh my god, last season one of our titles was like Chateau.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Chateau Marmont.

unknown 3:03

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Oh, but it's just like to me, it's like you know damn well she doesn't. You know, like any of them. You know, there's no she doesn't it doesn't even seem like she even listens to that music at all.

SPEAKER_00 3:16

No.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Like what music do you think she even listens to?

SPEAKER_00 3:19

I know it she likes um. Like she was a stagecoach or what? No, well, I don't know, but they were talking about her and Jesse, how they're so different, and at the wedding, she wanted like you know, I don't know, like Jesse wanted them to play like EDM type stuff, and then she wanted like God, what was the it was like something who sings that song like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

That's just that's the only thing I've ever heard her say she liked.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

That's odd. Okay. Um I mean, don't big respect for that that song and for that genre, you know, or whatever. But it's like I don't know, and obviously.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Yeah. Like, she probably knows Forgot About Dre. And I don't know, but she's not listening to like ding ding dong.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

It's ring ding dong. Do you know these songs?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

I sure do. Okay. Let's get into this episode. Yes. Let's muster our way through it. Nia and Michelle go to take Isabella to a gym. By the way, Isabella might have Dr. Dre as her stepdad. Interesting. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Yeah, um, all I like for me, I can only hope, like, if I was the other guy, you know, if I, you know, like, dude, like, hook me up with the fucking concert, dude.

unknown 5:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Okay, so they are at the gymnastics place, and Michelle's showing off her hand backhand springs. I don't know what they're called.

SPEAKER_01 5:13

The round off.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Round off.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

And okay, sorry, Mr. Guy Jero.

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Can I be honest with you?

SPEAKER_00 5:20

No.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Um, I took gymnastics uh in junior high, and I'll tell you why. No, before you cringe, okay, this was the coolest fucking class, and I'll tell you why. They didn't give a fuck what we did. We had literally like pads all over the gym floor, and there was times where we had the big, big puffy pads, the ones you land on, like on your back, and then we would have a jumping pad, and we would have probably a good four feet. It we would put such a gap, so we would jump, do a flip, and let hopefully land off the big pad. We would just fuck around that whole class. It was the best thing ever. And yes, did we learn like how to do like round offs and you know handsprings and shit like that? Absolutely, but the thing is that most of the time we were just fucking around, so it was great.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Well, Michelle was actually taking it serious, and she was she did it for a long time, long enough to where she had aspirations of being in the Olympics or whatever. And it leads her and is starting to talk about her dad, how suddenly he had this like mental illness where he was like hearing shit, and then he thought it would be best to disconnect from the family for their sake or something, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I don't think that he had mental illness. I think this was like a scene out of fucking Goodfellas. Uh, and uh he thought that someone was watching him. I think he might have been in the mob. No, I think he was in the mob. Like if you watch Goodfellas, that's exactly what happened.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

Fucking around. Okay, hear me out.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

San Diego.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

He's Mexican.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Pro close proximity to the border.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Possibly.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Maybe it has something to do with that.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

It does have to do something has to do with something with gay. No, I mean, well, maybe. But I think a lot of do-what are gangs doing?

SPEAKER_00 7:29

What are mobs doing?

SPEAKER_01 7:30

I agreed. But I'm just saying, so yeah, drugs has something to do with it, but I'm saying ultimately he's talking about he's left for the safety of them because I'm sure that's probably the.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

That's what I'm saying, cartel.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

Yeah, okay, good. As long as we're talking about the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Living right by the border.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Come on, get on my page.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

But I thought that one when they were, I was like, oh my god, this is the fucking good fellas, dude. Like, because that's exactly what was going on.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Michelle invites her to a San Diego trip and she lets her know she invited everybody. Thank goodness, Michelle.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

Kudos to that. Oh my gosh. Like, I'm sick of this segregated cast.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Or sorry, I gotta we're gonna skip out on this one, but you know what I mean? It's like fuck off and show up, you know, like to get a game night. Like, come on. Do your job. Exactly. But again, this is the fault of only one person, and that is or persons, is the fucking producers. You better fucking force people's hands. Like, if you don't fucking go to game night, your ass is fired.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

If you don't go to, you know, whatever, you're gone. You know, what the fuck are you here for? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 8:48

They should just have a you're allowed to miss one event.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yes, yes, that's a good rule of thumb.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Kind of like you know how Summer House, like they'll kind of interchange a person here and there for a weekend.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Yes, uh-huh. And I I totally agree with that because you get like just one out, so you better plan wisely, you know what I mean? And it can't be the finale, you know what I mean? It's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Okay, Kristen, Britt, Zach go to this place, they're getting waxed. Zach is getting spray tanned. You know, I always trip out because obviously we met Zach. He might have been wearing a hat, but every time I see him and I realize he's like ginger.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Because it just you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like in certain lighting, and then other lighting, he just looks like brunette.

SPEAKER_02 9:37

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

It's kind of trippy. Okay, so Kristen talks about her issues with Luke. She says he always complains about being in California, which really irritates me. Because you know he's all the time like just complaining about it because it's very different from Colorado.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

But to me, it's like, dude, you're getting paid to be on this show called The Valley.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Can you like get over it and stop adding that to your catalog of complaints? And let me tell you something else. The more you complain and get under her skin, the l the less she's gonna want to sleep with you.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yeah, maybe he just wants to do a show called The Springs, like Colorado Springs.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Yeah, maybe, but until that gets picked up, I would probably touch.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

That was his plan the whole time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Like there's lakes around here, Luke. You can go fishing, like anyway.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Okay, so but you have a point there though. You know, as far as the more you complain. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Like La La, Jan and Michelle do Pilates, and then they talk about how Janet's having that game night, and they're kind of like, Michelle's like, just invite them, like you know they're not gonna come.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

But that's that's always the best plan. Exactly. If you know their ass isn't gonna come, then it makes you not look like an asshole.

SPEAKER_00 11:10

Right. And then we had the Lacey and Jesse scene, which you didn't like, you said, but I loved it.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

I it just like to me, it's like uh I it just was weird on camera, and I hate that this is a her only scene in this in the episode. Yeah, you know, and it's just her being like, you know, kind of criticizing his parents.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

She's I'm telling you, that's how she communicates with him. She's not cr all she was saying was because and I'm the same way, like I don't need you to force your kid to like come hug me. You know what I mean? Like, that's like my thing. I'm like, no, it's okay. Like I have friends that do that, like, oh, like go hug, and I'm like, I don't know, maybe I'm just not like a massive hugger of children, but um, but you know, he's like, do that, dancer, and she's like, no, and then he's like, Come on, and I would even be like, I would feel the same way, like it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

But that's all you had to do.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

It's say, Oh no, it's not no, but I'm not Lacey, and that's how Lacey talks. She wasn't criticizing him, like he wasn't like hurt, but come on, you're you know you're making it into I'm not saying by her saying like it's not good, she has a daughter too, she can speak on like advice on kids, like you're not supposed to teach your kids secrets, which I actually think is a good thing to not teach them. So, because you don't want you you shouldn't let your kids know what secrets are, because then say a creepy dude, then he's gonna be like, This is our little secret. You know what I mean? You gotta teach you gotta protect your little girls from thinking secrets are okay. Yeah, anyway, and then I love how she talked about her uh doomsday bunker.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

That's so weird.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

No, it's not, it's smart. I'm telling you, even if it's not when they say doomsday, we could literally mean a two-week rolling blockout where all power, all whatever is off. What are we gonna do? Lacey has generators, Lacey has water things, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Acid tabs.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Acid tabs. Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 13:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

She probably has canned goods that are good for the next like eight years.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Do you think she has a a uh can uh canned food eating party like uh like like Dwight does in the office? We always find a way to bring up the I know it's like to for to put it into perspective, he had a shit ton of canned goods, and he pretty much eats like a mass amount of canned like tomatoes or whatever because they're always they're going bad.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Okay, so I need more Lacey. That's my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

I agree, and that's it, it's kind of irritating. I don't know what her situation was, why she wasn't on any of the other parts of this episode, but it's like, yeah, we need more Lacey in the show. And I hate to make it.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

We'll see her in San Diego.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

I hate to say it, but we also need more Janet and you know and Jason, and only because not because you know we so miss her, but it's like this is a fucking show with a full cast that the full cast should be a part of. Yeah, you know, come on.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Janet has her game night. We've been to the place where they had the game night.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Not my favorite place. Why didn't you like it? It was alright.

SPEAKER_00 14:30

They played really good music in the bathroom. It was like Crystal Castles and Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Um, I I did like that they had a food window. Um, that was cool. It's just like, I don't know, it was just alright, you know, to me. I hated the parking situations. I I I just don't like parking in LA.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Oh my god. Okay parking sucks ass, so alright, negative, Nancy. Okay, so the obvious people didn't come, but also Jasmine, Melissa, and Zach and Benji didn't go. Benji.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Benji didn't go.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

And I just hate it that they're showing them like not doing shit.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Yeah, I I completely agree. It's like, but then again, also fucking show up. You know, like if you don't have anything better to do or whatever, show up.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Who thought of these trivia questions like yellow and blue make what color? Are you joking?

SPEAKER_01 15:27

I think it was just like this is the beginning, like let's make this one easy, and then we build up, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 15:33

So whatever. Um, Brittany invited everyone for a pool party, so now we know that everyone is going to be in the same vicinity with each other. Yes. Janet says she tried to talk to everyone, but we know that she really didn't.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

Yeah, I love how she tries to minimize it. It's like, yeah, you tried, but yeah, but you led with like, you know, like, hey, so if you wanna fucking apologize for being a fucking asshole, like feel free, you know, and then we can then we can talk.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Then Janet tries to like kind of roll back into that victim mode, like, well, Danny and Nia are like in these crazy posts, saying crazy things about my husband and me. And this is where Britney, she's like had enough, you know. It was about the middleman, she's always trying to please each side, and she just kind of had a moment like, I just want to be happy, I want to not have to worry constantly in these moments, which we see her having to do at her pool party. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Anyway, so it's just um I can imagine how it was a valid crash out, you know what I mean? And it was a mild crash out, but still it was a crash out.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

I like how she told Janet, like, okay, but if you're gonna actually apologize, don't get up and walk away.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Like, do it.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

Yeah, you know, fucking stain it, you know, like don't be that that's the I agree, and I love that. I love that she said that. Um, you know, because it's like, come on, let's be so for real, you know what I mean, about about all of this.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

And Janet says seeing Britney's reaction makes her feel like she really needs to like suck it up and but we'll see. She I feel like she said this same kind of sentiment in the past and nothing changed.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Agreed. And remember, in the as it showed in the show, you know, like all this stuff is all reminiscent of last season. Like everything, you know, it's like Janet has her apology tour with certain people, and then eventually just turns to royal shit at the end, you know?

SPEAKER_00 17:42

So pool party, Luke showing up in those like tall socks with the sandals.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

What the fuck was that?

SPEAKER_00 17:49

I was that was ugly.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

What was that?

SPEAKER_00 17:52

I didn't like it.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

What was that? That was like compression socks.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

I know. And just too high.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

It was great.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

Like who was saying was it Zach? Like, what you want a weird tan?

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Yeah, it was Zach.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Like, I know like the higher the socks the downer the foo, but A.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

That is always the case.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

As you wear ankle socks every day, like a older elder millennial dad.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

I am an elder millennial, I guess, you know, but yeah, it is, you know, maybe maybe Luke was on a sick one, eh? You know what I mean? Like, that's what it is. We just don't know it. He is dead, maybe he is a devil fool.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Well, as they play white claw pong.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Hey, don't talk shit about white claw. What the hell?

SPEAKER_00 18:34

Well, we we find out it hurts Schwartz's tummy.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

That's why he can only drink beer, which is so funny because you would think it would be the exact opposite.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

You know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

I mean, Danny loves white claw, so I mean, don't you remember him sneaking? Well, he said he went to the pantry to grab a white claw, but you know, take a secret shot too.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

Of course, yeah. Both.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

But he's a white claw guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

Hey, that's all good.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

I don't know if I don't know. If that's what you and Danny, the only thing you guys have in common, I guess I'm okay with it.

unknown 19:08

No.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Oh, but I like how Jesse asked Danny, like, do you have panties on? And will you get the clip of panties?

SPEAKER_01 19:13

He said undies.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

He said panties.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

He said undies.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

He said panties.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Guaranteed he said undies. I promise you. I will put money down that he said undies. I promise you.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

Now we gotta find it out. You're probably right though, but I still have to see. Okay, you were right.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

But I think I got confused because after they're like a no pants pool party.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

No, you said let's just have a no pants party.

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Whatever. The word pant minus the ease.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

Whatever, you were right. Okay, just take the win.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

I will. With great pleasure.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

But also, why can't you just roll with it?

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Like, why did why when I said it's fucking weird if a guy asks another guy if he's wearing panties? It's so weird.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Do you ask other guys if they have undies on?

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Yeah, but then I didn't completely pant someone where their pee-peees out. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 20:10

So it's like that's the reason why he asked me. It would be weird regardless if it was undies or panties. So let's like chill on the page.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

He only said that because he pants him in season one. That's why.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

Okay, understood. I'm just saying we could have literally glossed over that. People would have known what I was talking about. It wouldn't have caused an uproar on the internet.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

It's just panties is just such a it's such an ugly word. I hate it.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

Okay. Then you need to talk to your therapist about that. Okay, so they say that they're gonna have the guys dress up like girls. I hate this idea because we've seen it done on Vanderpump. It's like, uh, okay, cool. Why?

SPEAKER_01 20:59

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 21:00

Okay. Kristen's friend is like, is Janet coming? I don't know why I said her voice like that. And then Kristen's, you know, starting her shit. And then Brandon, you hated this part. He's like, like, be nice, Kristen. And then she's like, um, because he's like, that really stresses Brittany out. And to that point, I'm saying, yeah, like he that's her, I mean, I know he's like been here five seconds, but that's also her boyfriend, and then she's probably venting to him about how much it stresses her out. So him hearing it and mean like, why don't you just be nice?

SPEAKER_01 21:38

Yeah, or why don't you just shut the fuck up? That's what I think. Because honestly, like, who the fuck are you? You don't know who who I am.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

The boyfriend of the person that whose house it is. He's basically just saying, like, be respectful for Brittany.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Understood, but you have no business telling me what to do when you're gonna be gone in fucking two weeks. Weeks.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Well, we d we know that in hindsight, but even then not knowing that. I just think it was fine because Kristen was already starting her shit talk. And that's pretty much how Brittany's last pool party went to shit, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Agreed. But whatever. So I just I get and even it like if he said that or not, I don't think she we were gonna get a repeat of that because she's already made uh Brittany already made it a point to say something to her about that.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

But she still had to say shit right after they walked in. Lawless is a Jasmine, like you know, I guess you were right about this too. Hive mentality. Sounds like you have a hive mentality, and basically Jasmine takes that as she doesn't have a mind for herself, and takes that, runs to Kristen and Zach and all them, and is like, oh, check this out. She's saying we all just follow each other and hating Janet or whatever, right? And they're like, What? And this is where Britney has to be like, calm down because they happen to be walking in. And then this is where they just start. I just feel like these people that are like my age are so like immature and it's like high school with them. You know what I mean? We have Danny's like, oh, the doctor told me it's uh a Caperna is toxic for me, and two just walked in. Like, yeah, what are you trying to do there, Danny? No one left.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Talked about my dietary, yeah. That's what he was talking about.

SPEAKER_00 23:35

Zach's like, oh, I can't get a drink now because they're in there. Like, grow up.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Um whatever. I'm just so let's be honest.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Zach, maybe you don't need to get a drink at that point. You know, it's like as we learn.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Let's let Zach live. Zach pulls Luke for a chat, and they're just talking about the Kristen and shit, which I'm kind of getting fatigued over as well.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Yeah, you know, here's the thing. I know I sometimes I feel that I sound insensitive, you know, because obviously she's going through some major shit.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

Yeah, that you don't know and you don't know how it feels. Of course.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Of course, but you we've agreed on this part, and that is is that she's a fucking downer. Oh, yeah, downer. That's what I'm talking about. It's like, okay, you know, like, you know, that really sucks, and we should really, I just really feel that, hey, you know what? Maybe take some time off. You know what I mean? Like, honestly, like that's okay to go through that, and you're not gonna go through it alone. You know, you have family, you have your friends will support you, you know, or whatever, but maybe not put it on the show where we literally have not one positive thing going on in any way, shape, or form on this show.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 24:55

Zach pulls Janet for a chat, and then she says she's learned to shut, shut the F up and listen. And then Zach says, Oh, yeah, like when you exaggerated the thing with Kristen, now she kicked you out, and blah blah blah. And then he says, You just want destruction, you're up on a pedestal, and then she says she didn't handle the situation, like she admires how he handled the situation because he had his own opinions on what Danny did, but he stayed out of it when it came. Like it was just a thing for Melissa and Jasmine to handle.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

So I was proud of Janet in this moment to acknowledge that. Acknowledging that, and then obviously Zach and her for now, we obviously we see it's seeing this is a thing because this is what before the storm.

SPEAKER_01 25:46

Yeah, because this is what happened last season.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

You know, they had this talk last season, and obviously it went way, way south. You know, so I don't believe any of this for one fucking second.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

You know, it's gonna Janet's gonna fucking Janet. Yeah, that's it, plain and simple.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

We'll just have to see how it plays out, but um, the most surprising part, I think, is at the end where she was gonna order like a pen to be delivered, like a wee pen, and Kristen was like, Oh, I have whatever a pipe, and she it was very cordial. This is how they should be coexisting. Yeah, you don't have to talk shit, you don't have like you just have to be in this, like they didn't have to, you know what I mean? They didn't hash it out. I mean, eventually we want to see something like that, but you guys should be able to be in the same space and just if you don't want to to talk to each other, don't talk to each other.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

I thought that was a perfect moment. And you know, honestly, like Kristen, like the way she was in that, you know, at least obviously again, absolutely hate this. If you are feeling a certain way, you tell it to that person straight to the face. Don't be a fucking coward and and talk all this shit, you know, in your uh in your confessionals, you know what I mean? Like, I hate that with a passion, like say it with your chest out, like don't be a fucking coward, you know, and so she's all like, Whoa, well, it's it wasn't that deep, you know, whatever. It was a good moment. Did you realize that Janet smoked weed? Probably not, but it surprised you. So, you know, give her like maybe a shred of respect, and maybe that could be like your kind of like pseudo-binding, you know, or bonding moment, you know what I mean? Yeah, just kind of go with it.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Yeah, I hated that she was like, This is not a peace pipe.

SPEAKER_01 27:43

You know what I mean? It's not that deep, you know. It's like, fuck off, Kristen. Like, and I hate that I'm saying that, but I'm not really liking Kristen this season. And it's like, it should just because it's like, again, it has nothing to do with the whole postpartum thing, you know, or whatever, but it's just how she's depressed.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

I mean, but you're saying then you shouldn't be on the show if you're exactly.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Take a break, and that is okay. We're gonna understand, you know, whatever. Um, this is what you asked for. Hate to say it to you, but this is what you wanted. You got what you wanted, but you know, maybe with what you got, just enjoy that. Stay and be out of the camera, or maybe check in every now and then, you know what I mean? Kind of do like a Lindsay thing, you know, from Summer House, in my opinion. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

All right, well, it is now time for our Hero and Zero!

SPEAKER_03 28:36

Hero and Zero.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

All right, who do you have?

SPEAKER_01 28:41

Uh, you know what? Not many times are you gonna hear this from me, but my hero is Brittany. You know? Um I mean, her her date date night, uh, you know, like no, uh, no, sorry, not date night. It was uh gay night. Uh gay night uh was perfection in my opinion. It's like this was her moment. This was her moment. Like, look, like it was her way to be like, hey, fuck off. Like, you know, like kind of like like it was a way to say, fuck off, give me my space, let me, you know, like enjoy a fucking party without trying to defend your, you know, like your freaking salty ass. You know what I mean? It's like, like, hey, don't be a fucking coward, you know, like if people are talking shit to you, stay in that shit, you know. Like, I love did it's like fucking tell her thank you, thank you, Britney.

SPEAKER_00 29:38

You've been hating on Chris or on Britney.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

She was so spine because honestly, Brittany did she. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

Britney is a nice person.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Well, all I gotta say is in lovely with me. Finally, I'm sorry. Um, but finally, you know, it's like she speaks truth. And she doesn't speak like freaking Switzerland. Am I right? Sorry, I didn't make a joke.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

No, no, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

My bad. So um, but that was it. Uh that was my definite hero. Uh, my zero. I gotta say, is fucking Kristen, dude. You know, uh I if I could lump Kristen, Danny, uh who else? You know, it's like dude, fucking grow up, dude. Grow up. You know, like guess what? You know, we need somehow to somehow some way we need to find ways to, you know, like coexist with our ops, as the kids would say it right now. You know what I mean? Like, figure it out. You guys are in a fucking show, figure it out. You know what I mean? But that's just me. She just I just didn't like the way she was being in this episode. You know? What about you? Who'd you pick?

SPEAKER_00 30:52

Oh, I don't even know. Hero, Jesse, and Lacey as a couple. Fine, Jesse, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 31:00

I know Well, I mean, that's fair because they're really the only people that we can root for. So you're right.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

Yes, so heroes in my eyes right now, and then zero.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

But what a world, real quick. What a world, like you know, that we're rooting for Jesse out of all people.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

I know, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:20

Oh man. Anyways, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

My zero, I'm gonna give it to uh I don't know, Jasmine.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Whoa. I didn't I just like just by curiosity.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

A she didn't go to trivia when she's kind of on a neutral, not really, but she should be because she's not that important to be.

SPEAKER_02 31:44

I'll be honest with you.

SPEAKER_00 31:45

And then also for like taking what Lala said, making it way more, you know, like, oh, we don't think for ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

And then running to them, and you know what I mean? Just kind of like trying to, and it's just like shut up. Like, I don't know. She's kind of got on my nerves. She's taking herself a little too seriously, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

Like, she's just saying, and I'm not here defending Lala, I'm not a Lala defender, but she was just meaningful, you know what I mean? I don't know. She's annoying too, but Lala?

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Yeah, of course. Oh, absolutely, yes. Like, it's I I really feel that the producers are like, fuck. Why did we why did we hire Lala? Why did we hire and I hate it. I hate that I'm saying this because I love Tom Schwartz as a person. He's such a nice guy.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Oh my yeah, he's great.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

However, however, on this show, he's killing this shit.

SPEAKER_00 32:45

She's clearly faking it to make it like with this whole I'm single and it's like no. Clearly dating your now girlfriend, right? Who, by the way, you saw her, right, for the first time on whatever.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

Did you?

SPEAKER_01 33:04

At uh at Jack.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

Watch What Happens.

SPEAKER_01 33:06

Oh, wait, what?

SPEAKER_00 33:07

No, no, no, that's not his girlfriend anymore.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Oh, that's right. Shit.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Anyway, she was on Watch What Happens.

SPEAKER_01 33:13

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

And I'm I'm sorry. She, although she is not underage, she looks young to me.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

Yeah, uh-huh. Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

And I'm just like, oh god, creepy. That's just my own opinion, sorry. Like, I do not care if she is 24, if she looks 16, there's a creepy factor to that. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

I get you. Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

So yeah, uh Schwartz gets on my nerves too. But I love him. He's always been really cool.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

He's been super fucking cool.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

But I just hate to say it. It's just he's kind of dragging the show down. Him, Lala.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Yeah, we it's just it wasn't necessary.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Pretty much everyone except for Jesse and love Jesse and Lacey. Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

It's funny seeing Jesse in this like totally beta while she gets to Alpha.

SPEAKER_01 34:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:07

Because I would have thought, I bet you when Jesse and Michelle were together, she was the beta and he was the alpha.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Yeah. Um, but uh hey, Bravo. Um, can we get motherfucking Dr. Dre on Bravo? Can we get season four of Dre, like freaking Dre Day, you know?

SPEAKER_00 34:26

The man is in his 60s.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Like, I don't give a fuck. We need to get this man on camera. We need to have him be like, what bitch? Like, you know, come on. I'm so sure.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Like talking to, I don't know, I don't know who would say that to um if you want to hear a great song um by uh by Dre? No, easy E.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:52

Motherfucking Real G's.

SPEAKER_01 34:56

Is that real motherfucking G's?

SPEAKER_00 34:57

Real motherfucking G's, sorry. Um, it just talks shit about Dr. Dre, the whole song. It's like a diss track.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

And um he's he's a studio gangster, okay? So let's chill with the whole, like he's gonna I know, but still, like, come on.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

I'm just you know, we need him on fucking camera. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 35:17

That would be a trip. I don't think he would agree to that.

unknown 35:22

God.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

So or at least like every now and then, like a FaceTime.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

No, she's gonna come on next season and just be like, so I met someone, and then they're gonna say it in a very, like, you know, elusive way.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:39

I don't know, something like that.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

Hey, at least Kanye West ended up on the Kardashians at one point. So I'm just saying, like, it's like we got we have to have this. Like, someone needs to salvage the valley, you know what I mean? And I think Dre just might be able to do this.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Okay, well, wrap it up, B.

SPEAKER_01 35:56

All right, well, that is it for this god-awful, you know, season episode, you know, whatever. So that's it. So we thank you, love you, and see ya. Bye.

SPEAKER_03 36:09

Thank you. With Chris Dan Angelus, please subscribe to weekly episodes and leave a comment.