The Valley E6 NOT AMUSEMENT PARK

We cover the latest episode of The Valley!

Transcript

unknown 0:02

All Rilda with Chris and Angela covering only your face from Van Pump to the valley. Love is by everyone. We got you.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Chris and Angela. Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of All Rilda Podcast. This is Chris.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

And this is Angela. And we are here to cover the valley.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

Begrudgingly.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Begrudgingly. Again, if you've heard any of our other Valley episodes, we're not quite thrilled about this season so far. Yeah. Just here's my thing. It's like when they sold it to us, it was like, okay, you guys are older now. You have families, and it's a different kind of drama.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Yeah. Well But here's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

I don't want them lugging their babies everywhere they go.

SPEAKER_03 0:58

Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Um, season one was fantastic. That was that solidified. It's like, oh my god, this is the best show on Bravo by far. You know what I mean? And it was great, you know, whatever, but then it just became a drag after so long. And it's just like it's so it just got too dark, too dark. And it's just like I and you know, it's not like, you know, well, this is real life, you know, whatever. Yeah, agreed. You know, this is real life, you know, people have, you know, postpartum depression, people have, you know, uh ugly divorces, and you know, people have all this stuff. Um, not everything has to be on TV, you know, like it's well, there has to be a good balance. Yes, it does. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

And if everyone hates each other and they're going through dark times, it's just, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

There's no balance. Like, there's no, well, that's great that you know they at least have people to you know. I mean, I know some of them are friends, but it just it's bringing out like the worst in some people, I feel like it's feeling clicky at times, and I would agree with that. We all not like about to be 40 or in our 40s on this show.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

Yeah, I would agree with you on that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Okay, well, also happy late Mother's Days to any moms out there.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Yes. Um, yes. So definitely uh to you and yours, definitely happy Mother's Day. Um, to all the mothers, all the stepmothers, all the fur baby mothers, all of you, happy Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Okay. So on that note, can we just talk about other mothers?

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Yeah. Here we go.

unknown 2:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

And lame dads.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

I know.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

Hey, we're not in Father's Day yet, so I know.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

We uh start the episode off. We're at Tom Tom. And it's like Janet, Zach, Schwartz, Brittany. I don't know if Jason was there. I kind of didn't care enough. And they're talking about going to San Diego. They're gonna take the train.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

San Diego.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

That damn metro that I have to like wait for all the time. Not specifically that one, because uh that's not the track that goes to San Diego.

SPEAKER_03 3:22

Oh, okay. I was gonna say, but that one's not the one that has a cable above its head. That's just the regular.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

No, there's two. Okay. There's one I have to wait for all the time, and it's that the same design, same kind of train.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

Be happy it's that versus a freight train.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

Yeah. Okay, so they're at Tom Tom, and we meet Kiana. It's funny because online they were calling her Joe Light.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

I don't know about Joe Light, but she. I just want to sing that that uh that 180 song. Uh where my son was like, well, it was sunny. Yeah, you're in a fucking restaurant. Take your glasses off, you fucking loser. My god. That just like it it rubbed me so wrong. I was like, immediately I was so triggered. I don't even know why. It was just like, what are we? Are we in an 80s movie where it's like you always wear your glasses? Like, I just I don't get it.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

So yeah, they have like a what 17-year age gap.

SPEAKER_03 4:42

That's odd. And everyone's like, oh no, no, no, it's cool. Like, you know, obviously I'm jumping a little bit ahead, you know, but um, no, it's not. So hate to bring it.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Here's my thing. Here's my thing. Here's my thing. I don't think 27's almost 30, and he's like 40, he's like your age. I don't think that's so crazy because at least she's not like 21, like 20, like 19. However, she looks it to me. I don't care if she's 27. The fact that she looks young.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

Yeah. Well, you see you made the point of you know, comparing her to Lexi from Summer House from last season. You made that point. Because Lexi is what 27, but she looks young. 17? Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

But even I just feel even more like Kiana looks younger than Lexi.

SPEAKER_03 5:38

You think so?

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Yeah, she just has this like very young look to me.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

I personally, um, I I guess I don't see it. Lexi just looked, I for I didn't when I know uh found out how old she was, I was like, no fucking way. There's no way.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

No, I think Lexi looks like in her 20s. Okay, but okay, again, I'm just gonna die on this hill. I think Kiana looks young.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

She does though.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

She's a youthfulness to her, but just the way she talks kind of like bugs me. She's very like, ha ha. Like, I just I can't explain it. Like, yeah, man. Like, just I don't know. There's just something to it. I I just can't put my finger on it. It's very Schwartz. It's something, it's it's kind of the Joe factor, right? She just wants to be like one of the dudes, and da-da-da. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

So it you have you have to choose one, and it's not you're not getting with this person, but she has to be your like best friend, and you have to choose one. Who are you choosing? Lexi, Kiana, or Lil.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

You have to choose one. I guess I didn't have a problem really with Lexi.

SPEAKER_03 6:54

Or uh, or what's it called? Um, um, who do we just say? Uh his other his other extra.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Not Joe.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

She's one.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

I don't know. Maybe Keanu, just for the sake of I don't know. Because then I remembered Lexi was like overly close to her mom and sister, and it weirded me out, and they go to like sex clubs, and that's weird.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Okay, so Janet jokingly is like, oh, Zach, like we're BFFs now. And listen, you know damn well she's saying it in that like ha ha funny. She just wants to see a reaction out of Zach, right? Yes. Because then Zach's like, like, you know, he always has this like reaction, like, girl, like, no, we're not. And I can tell she's trying to be playful.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

Yeah. It's almost to the point of like, uh, what's that? I can't uh for for the life of me, I can't remember the term, where maybe a guy or a girl to the other person is like purposely either mean or like, you know, but they really like him. What's that term?

SPEAKER_00 8:03

I I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

Where it's like, you know, it's like uh you're purposely mean to them, but it's but secretly you really like them.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

I don't think that's the case. I think she just likes to get a rise out of him, and that she's trying to establish that as their relationship, like yeah, that kind of banter where it's like my best friend Zach, and then he'll be like, huh, yeah, right. You know, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 8:26

Definitely it's not the face value, it's not definitely face value. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

That's why we'll get to it later on the train, but um anyway. So then we have Nia, Kristen, and Lacey, and they go shopping for like wigs. I'm going to say this again. I really, really, really hate that we have to do this like dressing up the guys like girls sing.

SPEAKER_03 8:52

Yeah. But no.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

We've already done it. We've we've done it on Vanderpump. Why don't we have to do it again? Sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

But not only that, aren't they in Hollywood and um freaking Nia is there? Like, oh my god. I don't get it. Drove from Santa Clarita.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah, it's her job, people commute.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

I know, just crazy.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

But of course she had to bring the baby. I don't know why. It's just gets I get it, the baby isn't on a bottle, I guess, still.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

But don't have to be on the show. Right?

SPEAKER_00 9:21

I'm just over cute little Adelaide. Okay, so um we find out Lacey, she doesn't even really have an issue with Michelle, which she should, because Michelle totally has issues with her.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

But she's just the bigger box. She doesn't like Janet because she said Janet was digging up all this stuff on her and never got like a full apology. And she won't. She won't. Ever. Uh, we get a scene with Luke and Kristen where basically she's letting Luke know, like, oh, I talked to Zach, he's flip-flopping. Because he told me Janet's illusional, she's trying to act like we're best friends, and we'll see that play out later.

SPEAKER_03 10:01

Yeah. Yeah, I'll I'll I'll uh plead the fifth for now until you know.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Well, we don't have to wait that long because let's go to the train station. Kristen and Nia bring, you know, like babysitters again. I put I'm sick of the babies of the show.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Um I would not be opposed if if the um A, if it's not complicated to uh to get on this train and if the tickets aren't like, you know,$200 total, you know, for two people.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

I'm not interested.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

You wouldn't be interested?

SPEAKER_00 10:34

No.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

Like instead of drive like versus driving and you could drink on the way.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Nah.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Really? I thought you would be down.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Absolutely not. The only train I'm trying to go is like a beautiful scenic, not metro, but like an old timey, like I love trains. You know that I don't like passenger trains like that, modern passenger.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

Okay, because I was gonna say, I was like, you know that this one goes down the five freeway, which that is the most scenic one of the most scenic routes.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

I don't want to see someone pooping in the corner. I we've been on a train.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

That is different, yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

It's not. I it doesn't have to be. I'm telling you, listen, we went on a train like this to a concert in Pasadena.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Uh-huh. To the Rosemary.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

And it's just it's a little sketch. That's it. There's some characters on there. That was someone might be yelling at the air, like Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

It was pretty interesting. And yeah, that wasn't my vibe.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

And I'm sure they got a whole section, a whole car sanctioned off.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

So I mean they didn't sanctioned.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:51

Is sanction not a word?

SPEAKER_03 11:53

It is, but it it's not for that though. It would be sectioned off. Sectioned off.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

A sanction? Okay, I don't even know.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

It's like a a sanction is like like in a way like uh no, I'm just go ahead. In the most simplest like way possible, it's like think of it kind of like you're setting rules or restrictions.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Okay, yeah, same difference.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Okay, so um let's see. They get on the train and Janet Sh I I'm reiterating the fact that you could tell she's just joking around, like, she's doing that thing, like, oh, should we room with each other? Should we get Jack and Jill bathrooms? Like, are you guys gonna have a baby? You can use my uterus, like she's obviously joking.

SPEAKER_03 12:53

Obviously, yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

And it's probably funny how you know, everything's like Zach just like making all these faces, but then I just Kristen is literally glaring. Yeah. Like eyes completely like, you know, just furrowed brow. Yeah. Um, and even Nia goes up to Kristen, like, are you hearing this? Like, what is going on? And she's like, Yeah, he's singing a completely different tune than yesterday or whatever. And I just like I'm not here for like this whole divide. It's getting old. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Yeah, dude, it's like you're on your way for to 50. You know what I mean? Like, it's time to stop acting like you're fucking 16. You know what I mean? It's like, come on.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

And then Kristen tells Zach like your actions have consequences. Like, what do you mean? Are you trying to tell him don't piss me off?

SPEAKER_03 13:54

Yeah, because you're gonna be de-friend, de-friended. Yeah, I just I I it's so hard for me to say, but it's it's like Kristen is bugging the shit out of me, dude. It's like, what is the matter with you? It's like you This is a rough season for her. It is. It is the probably one of the worst seasons, and definitely not the worst season because there's been a lot of shit, you know, that she's done in VPR, you know, for sure, where it's like she was an asshole.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

But at least then you're like, oh, they're in their 20s, and I was the same age as them while they were doing all the shenanigans. Now it's like we're older, but you're still being a little neurotic, and you know. So they get to the house and Zach and Jesse run to go claim a room, and then Jesse picks the primary bedroom, and then Lala and Michelle come in, and then Lala's like, absolutely not. Get out. This is our room. This is Michelle's trip. And I have two trains of thought.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:02

Okay, first, if I book an Airbnb, I'm getting the best bedroom if I want, unless I have someone like when we went to Hawaii, I gave my dad, who's a bigger guy, the bigger bed. It made sense to me, and that's just respect.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

But if I'm in a group of friends and I booked the Airbnb, I think I should have first dibs. That's just my opinion. Now in the same breath. Do you remember it was either the first or second season? I don't know. Doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Jesse planned a trip.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

Yep. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

He booked the Airbnb.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

And Michelle went around trying to get people to vote him out of the house to go stay in a hotel. Yep. Because she didn't feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

So let's not forget that little detail.

SPEAKER_03 15:58

Yeah. Thank you. Because I was like, And he gave up, and he gave up, even though again, he was he, you know, he was if he didn't, he would be looking like the asshole, but still he gave up the the presidential suite, you know, for the new, the the newly, not newlyweds, but you know, whatever. And it's just like okay, we're in a group of fan friends. It is first come, first fucking serve. Yeah you know, this has been the case from the dawn of time of reality shows when it comes to shared uh shared living. You know, it's like, sorry, he was there. Lala, fuck off. Like, sorry, you know, like just because you're like, you know, miss attitude and you get whatever you want. No, Lala, fuck off. You know, I don't know what you gotta do, but oh yeah, the nerve.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

I need a room I'm accustomed to.

SPEAKER_03 16:51

No, and the just the way that she was like sitting, it's like because this is what I hate, because you know damn well that because like obviously if it's a dude, you know, a dude's gonna go up to dude be like, bro, get the fuck out, like get out of my face, you know, or whatever. He's not gonna do that to a woman. So she knows that. So she's gonna she's gonna push, put all her weight into it, and she's gonna be as much of an asshole as she wants to be, because she knows that he's not gonna step up to her, he's not gonna say anything, you know, beyond like, nope, sorry, you know, we're you guys are just gonna have to sleep with us, then I guess, you know, or whatever. Outside of that, he's not gonna do anything further, and she knows that, so she's really, really laying it on thick, hate it.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

And I didn't like how they're like, no, you're you're alone. And it's like, no, dude, Lacey is coming. It's not like he's just that would make sense if he was just if he was just one guy, but yeah, then he'd be a total asshole, yeah. Anyway, so I was kind of just like just give it up. You know, it's it's you're it's a losing battle. You're gonna look bad trying to go against the two women if that you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 17:59

I just lay the Lala was just a total asshole right there. I hated that so much. That scene was so stupid. It's like, who the fuck cares? How uh how late, you know, it's like you really gonna, you know, bathe in this uh what was that like a hot tub?

SPEAKER_00 18:13

I would okay. Schwartz is explaining all the rooms, and then they stick Luke and Kristen and then Danny and Nia in the baby house, and I'm like, I would do the same.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Absolutely. Get them away.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

I'm just like, do babies, I don't want a vacation with babies.

SPEAKER_03 18:32

I know, agreed. Can you imagine on your your um your birthday trip that we you know had at Oceanside, you know, and then someone brought their baby? And it's not even just like a baby, like a crying baby, a crying ass baby.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Yeah. Jeez. So then Nia, okay, so she's in the kitchen and she's eating a sandwich, and then Danny comes out and he's like, I need a swaddle. It's like And then he like and then he noticed that she was eating a sandwich. He was like, Oh my gosh. And then when she comes in the room, she's like, You're eating a sandwich? Like, what is his issue with her eating? She's like, I'm literally eating food.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

This was this is the beginning of the total assholery that he brings this episode. And the thing is, is that bro, are you even a fucking dad? Because honestly, guess what? I'm a dad. And guess what? I took care of my daughter when she was a fucking infant, shitting, pissing all over the place.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Yeah, because you don't do anything. Yeah, you put it all on the end.

SPEAKER_03 19:42

Yeah, that's my point. And it's obvious that he doesn't do shit because it's like, bro, do you want to know how many times I had to be like, okay, no one's here to help me, you know, everyone's gone, you know, or whatever, or it's like fucking three in the morning or whatever, you know. I gotta get my own swaddle, you know what I mean? I gotta get it myself. I gotta, you know, like do all the shit myself, you know what I mean? And guess what? It's obvious he doesn't do shit.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

So he's like, Well, why do we have a babysitter if I have to do this? And then, um, so outside of that, that yeah, that was the first kind of glimpse. I mean, we've seen glimpses in the past, little ones, but this episode was just like a total peek behind the veil of what it's like without this. This is in front of cameras, yeah. Yeah, so they're looking by they, I mean I think like Tom, Michelle, and maybe someone else at the alpacas. And then Michelle's like, I'm afraid of birds, and then she's like, What are you afraid of? And then Tom Schwartz is like, mayonnaise. It's stupid to say you're afraid of mayonnaise. It's like you don't like mayonnaise.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

Yeah, just say you don't like it. You don't like mayonnaise.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

But I I'll eat a macaroni salad, a potato salad, of course, uh spicy mayo on top of sushi. Like I do eat a lot of it.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

You're very, you're but you're not in a sample. You nailed it though, is that you you know it's like you just don't like it. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_00 21:05

You like like pulling Mari Povich, bring out the mayonnaise, and he goes running, like I love that one. You know how you know what I'm talking about, right? With the olives.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

And she's like grabbing him, she's like, You're hurting me. And he's like, Bring out the olives. Anyway, okay, so and then they show Britney putting mayonnaise on her sandwich, and I'm not joking, that was probably an extra 250 calories she was adding to that sandwich of mayonnaise. I'm down pure fat.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

I'm down.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

It's so dumb. It's like when you dip everything in heavy ranch, it's like you're adding another like three, four hundred calories. All for it. Okay. Um, Kristen is I said, is being a cheerful person because she says she's gushing blood. I that must have been sarcastic. Because she is just being a downer.

SPEAKER_03 22:03

Oh, well, that's her.

SPEAKER_00 22:05

Uh I'm gushing blood. I'm wearing a diaper. I don't feel hot. Like, can we stop with this? Like, I don't feel hot. Just go out and have fun and film the TV show that you're filming.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Yeah. And we don't need to know this. Exactly. By the way. Yeah. You know? Like, that's great. Like, you know, that sucks. It really does, you know. And I hope that works out somehow, some way. Um, just you know how to say it? Like, I guess I, you know, I get it. Be open, but not that open. So that's just me.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Okay, but also grow up.

SPEAKER_03 22:32

Me? Yeah. What?

SPEAKER_00 22:33

Oh, yes. You don't need to hear about that. Ew, period.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Well, here's the thing. I mean, there's nothing wrong with all this. Nothing wrong with that.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

No, no, I'm just sick of Kristen being a downer.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

Yeah. Just stop sharing so much.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

They're leaving a little bit later than the rest of the group. Because Kristen, obviously. And then so I thought they were trying to like figure out how to put her down before they left so that she didn't start crying because she saw them leave. But no, baby's coming.

unknown 23:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Anyway, that just annoyed me. I thought they because um Kristen left her baby.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

But I I mean, the but that baby's on a bottle.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

Well, see now this is the point where to Danny's point now, the only thing I'm gonna agree to him is now at this point, yeah, you're right. Why is the baby fucking staying?

SPEAKER_00 23:26

Do babies need a bottle every like hour or something?

SPEAKER_02 23:31

Alright.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

They can't go for like an hour?

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Okay, so then as they're like kind of going back and forth, she's like, No, we gotta like put the baby in, I guess, the stroller when we're walking out the door, or she'll start crying. And then he's like, Your hair is frizzy. It's just like little things like that. I'm like, okay. So they go to Belmont Park. I've never been, have you?

SPEAKER_03 23:56

Uh no, but uh, let's before we get to Belmont Park, let's let's also talk about uh do you know how to rodeo a you know a calf or whatever?

SPEAKER_00 24:04

It's lasso, you dumb ass. I'm not gonna say bitch.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

It's like, bro, like it's not even it's in it's not even lasso. It's like you're corralling, you know. Yes, you use a lasso. So she could if she would have known that, that would have been awesome. Well, it's also called corralling dumbass.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Okay, just like you made me feel dumb for the word sanction. But anyway, who's counting? Okay, so everyone gets on the roller coaster except Jesse, who is a self-proclaimed little bitch.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Yeah, I've never but I've never been there.

unknown 24:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:39

Ever, ever. You know, I I've been to San Diego often because my family's from there, but you know, never been there.

SPEAKER_00 24:47

Danny's complaining to Nia as they're getting out of the car, like, get the diaper bag. And then she at first I was like, she's kind of being a little performative. Like, you know, she was like, We're gonna ride every ride and it's gonna be great. You know what I mean? Well, yeah. Well, listen, then she explains it. But at first I was like, okay, Nia, like, chill. Cause I think she also does her part of like trying to paint this perfect, even when she complains about Danny, she's not doing it in a way that's really complaining about him. She's like, Oh, sometimes we're just not attuned, attuned, and and that kind of gets on my nerves because it's like we want you to still be real about it, but you are just trying to paint this perfect little picture, and now obviously we're seeing it's not that. And I've in my defense, I have been calling out little slimy Danny from the beginning, and I feel like I was the only person who was like, I don't like him.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

And I feel very vindicated.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

At first, he was delightful. No. Remember? At first, season one, yes, even when I was like, You don't remember when they went to Big Bear? But I'm seeing even when he was getting drunk, okay. Understood. But you when we met him in person, you Yeah, he was nice.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Oh he's not gonna be a mean person to fans coming up. Okay, okay. But I'm saying I have been clocking it since season one, little things here and there. Season two, everyone was like, justice for Danny and Nia. And I'm just like, okay, yeah, what Janet said was over the top and it wasn't her place, but people just seem to forget like obviously I'm not gonna want to be married to someone who grabs my friends' asses when they get drunk.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Fair.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

So that's not a picture perfect family. I don't care how much kids you keep squeezing out. Sorry, like there are cracks. He's not as supportive as one who wants to keep having a whole baseball team. Pretty much needs to be. Like he just and him getting mad that she's like trying to eat, it's just absolutely ridiculous. I don't know what his deal is.

SPEAKER_03 27:20

Yeah, like it is okay for her to just sneak in a a freaking snack in between, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Like, where she can't, you know, because there's gonna be moments, a lot of moments where she can't, you know, but and then he's all mad, and I love how he he has a nerve to call her performative, but then the once he walks up to everybody.

SPEAKER_03 27:43

Like two minutes, you know, or whatever. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, fuck off.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

And she just has to explain to him, like, look, I'm excited that like we never have time with just us two.

SPEAKER_03 27:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

So I'm excited.

SPEAKER_03 27:55

So then they kind of like decide to just you know and if you really look at her as a whole, I can see that. Like, I can see that she makes her do everything. No, no, no. I can see the way she was where he calls her performative. I can see that being reality, like how she really is. If you know, there's a moment where they get to do something fun, not necessarily go out to dinner because she's not gonna be like that at dinner, but doing something fun where you can be a kid, you know, whether it's an arcade, whether it's you know, Belmont Park, you know, whatever. It's like I can see her because it's a fun thing, you know, or whatever. So I can see her being that way.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

And I mean, that was the big part of the episode. We end the episode pretty much. Schwartz talks about Kiana. I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

And that's the part where I was like, you know, he's oh, I thought you guys were gonna judge me because of her, you know, the age gap or whatever. They're no, no, no, no. And I was like, no, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Yeah, I still whatever. Okay, and then the episode ends with Michelle and Lala, and they just talk about their Michelle's mom, and then uh Lala's dad, then there's Tad.

SPEAKER_03 29:07

This was surprisingly touching and nice. You know what I mean? It was it was a nice moment. Why are you rolling your eyes?

SPEAKER_00 29:15

I'm not-yeah, has not rolled.

SPEAKER_03 29:19

I swear it looked like you rolled your eyes. Then what did you just do?

SPEAKER_00 29:22

I looked at you and then I looked at my phone screen. You may have thought I was rolling my eyes.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

I get you're all like, oh god, what a idiot this guy is.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Okay, cool, cool, cool. Cracker cry. Okay. What I want to say though is when Michelle is talking about her mom and like how she made her like she didn't want to pass away on her birthday. That's so sad.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

It ruins people's birthday when my grandma who raised me died on my grandpa's birthday, who raised me.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:53

So yeah, that after that he just never cared about his birthday ever again. But what I want to say is because I really am enjoying Jesse. Obviously, I love Lacey so far. But I got re-triggered and I'm like, wait a minute, let's not forget that Michelle was like begging Jesse to let her take Isabella to San Diego because she knew her mom was dying and he was giving her shit and not make letting it happen. He's like, Well, you can't take her until we have a conversation with her about what death is. No, time is of the essence, and that really that shows me that Jesse can really be a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

That's messed up.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

Pissed me off. It re-pissed me off.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

No one's really unscathed, if you really think about it. You know, everyone's gonna have their their shit. So I would agree with you on that because it that's why it's so hard to really truly root for a single, whether it's person or couple or you know, or whatever, because it's like, you know, at one point it's like someone was a real asshole, you know what I mean? And I agree with you. I, you know, I didn't um I didn't agree with that as well, you know, because yeah, you know, it's like at any moment this could just happen and then now it's too late. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 31:15

So he's like, well, we need to have a conversation, okay? Go step outside, have it, you know what I mean? Like, do it tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

But it always it's just like how he sounds so like yeah, eventually we'll be divorced.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

Like sign the papers. Like it's there's just something calculated about Jesse. I I don't know. But he's the most likable.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

At this point, I feel that they got because I can only assume the amount of angst and just like just you know, bitter past and you know, bad blood, and you know, whatever that it's like, you know, maybe one didn't want to, you know, end it, the other one did, you know, whatever. You know, whatever it's just like a real bad mix, and it's just like this is not excusing his behavior at all in any way, shape, or form. But it's just like overall for the both of them, you know, it was a really bad mix. So obviously they're very, you know, like they brought out the worst meeting.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

Yes, because even Michelle, I will give it, like, she's actually seeming kind of like fun sometimes and and fun with him too. Yeah, yeah. You know, for whereas when they were together, I was like, ugh, they're both so he's slimy, she's miserable. And I think it's because they were together or they were in their the most contentious part, contentious. Yeah, no, okay, part of the separation and all that.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

So I'm actually thinking Michelle's not as bad as I thought. And the fact that she's coping with Lacey there, I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

And then you figure, like, like little moments when, you know, like, for example, like, Jesse, come on, dude. It look, you know, don't sleep on the train. Come on. We're not none of us are sleeping. And then, you know, she's like, Oh, no, no, it's okay. At least you won't talk. And then they both kind of like kind of have that that kind of like banter a little bit, and it's like they're they're now at that place where they can kind of poke little jabs like that just for fun, you know.

SPEAKER_00 33:16

Why can't Kristen and Janet do that? Wouldn't that be a fun dynamic where they kind of like talk shit? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:21

And then it's like, okay, well, the beginning could have been when they were smoking weed together, but you know, Kristen's kind of.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

I know. Janet's like peace pipe, and then when she was talking to Luke, Kristen was like, Oh, just because we had something in common for five minutes.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

It's just too much negativity from Kristen. I don't like it. I already know she's really neurotic when she travels, but I think adding a baby is just not the right environment for her, especially because you can tell she's so anxious, doesn't want to do anything, doesn't want to go anywhere.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

I do love the montage. I do love the montage of her being a monster on vacation.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Oh god, what she would torture uh Stassian Katie.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

Yeah, she was pretty, but that was entertaining.

SPEAKER_03 34:07

Not all the time.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

It was entertaining.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 34:10

When they're in Solving and she's so drunk she falls over on the ground and everyone's like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 34:15

She was a hot ass mess, dude.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

It's funny though. We're not seeing any of that. Well, we are gonna see next week Ganny make another ass out of himself. And hey, if Lala's there to calm out, I'm here for it. This is what I like in Lala. So we will see. But now it's time for our Hero and Zero!

SPEAKER_01 34:36

Hero and Zero.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

All right, who do you got?

SPEAKER_03 34:41

Okay, this is gonna be probably one for the record books because I don't think I've ever said this person was my hero ever. And I gotta say Michelle. And it's it's exactly why we're, you know, with what we're talking about, you really see improvement. Um, you know, and it forget, like, even if they didn't have that moment about her talking about her mom, forget about that. You know what I mean? Um, I did like that because she was being open, you know, and and raw about it, you know, because it's it is tough. Let's be honest about it. Um, but just overall, yes, she like the weight the wet blanket has come off.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

You know, like she used to go to TJ. She's not she hasn't always been a wet blanket. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:26

Exactly. She surgically got the stick removed from her butt, you know, so I'm all for it. You know, let's see, let's see what happens as we go along. Uh, my zero, easily Danny. Like, Danny, you are such a fucking prick in this in this episode. I mean, yeah, you've been you've been a prick, you know, you've had, you know, but this is where you were like undefendable in any way, shape, or form. Not one thing can we say, oh, well, he was tired. Or, you know, no, no one could say shit about him. He was a fucking prick. So, yeah, easily Danny. What about you?

SPEAKER_00 36:05

So, for the sake of picking different people, it's just better when we do that. But if we really have strong conviction, I don't care, I'll say the same people as you. But since we have such a wide variety of lanes, my hero is gonna be Zach, because I like that he He's open. He's open, it's what we've been wanting, and he didn't fold for Kristen with her death stare.

SPEAKER_02 36:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:36

And then uh that leads me to my zero, which is Kristen. I mean, uh I think Michelle straight up took the wet blanket and then handed it to Kristen.

SPEAKER_03 36:48

Like a like a torch.

SPEAKER_00 36:50

Like a torch. Like, there you go, that's your season. Bring it down.

unknown 36:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:54

And she is. I mean, every scene, I'm like, oh my god. I mean, and hey, Luke too. Luke is in Luke is he's he was quiet this episode, so I have really nothing to say about him.

SPEAKER_03 37:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

Did he even say one word besides uh-huh?

SPEAKER_03 37:10

Or no, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Okay, and I'm okay with that because if I have to keep hearing about you know, whatever. Um his whatever. Um, so yeah, Kristen, definitely. But I love Kristen. Well, yeah, me too. My favorite person I've met from the Vanderpump Valley universe. But uh, you know, she's just going through her stuff, and I know she's human, but as a spectator, it's a little bit of a downer.

SPEAKER_03 37:45

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

And that's it.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

This is a long episode for such a lame episode. I know.

SPEAKER_03 37:53

But that's all right. That's okay. Lame as it was, you know. I still had weirdly enough, I had fun, you know, doing this episode. Weirdly enough. I don't know. So, anyways, uh Danny, you're a fucking prick. But, anyways, you guys aren't pricks because we thank you. We love you and see ya. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Thank you. With Chris Dan Angelus, please subscribe to weekly episodes and leave a comment.