The Shift

Change is good...right? But how can we find balance within it all?

In this episode Khalia and Blair talk about how change in environment and job opportunities brought out intention setting and recalibration for their relationship.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Gorgeous.

SPEAKER_02 0:01

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

What is that?

SPEAKER_02 0:07

The good. Good. Scarage is the cowardly dug. That's the quota. That's the only one thing that you don't know about.

SPEAKER_04 0:13

I do know about.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

You do?

SPEAKER_04 0:15

Yeah, but I don't remember him doing that.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

No, it wasn't courage specifically. There was one episode where there was like some zombie that wanted to make a movie, and he was like recording, I think her name is Muriel. And he was like, she's like, oh, how does this look at these like good, good?

SPEAKER_04 0:35

How do you remember these like one-off things?

SPEAKER_02 0:38

It was that impactful. Uh huh. I'm surprised I even watched Curry's a cowardly dog because I grew up as a scaredy cat. Like heavy.

SPEAKER_04 0:47

Yeah, that I know.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Uh, so sad, man.

SPEAKER_04 0:50

You're not scared anymore, though.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Hell no. I wish I washing wood. So I'm outside of the club, and you think I'm a fool?

SPEAKER_04 1:04

I don't know what you're saying. Sorry, I just don't know. You also just told me that that was the last time you'd be referencing something, but then you referenced something 10 seconds later. So I wasn't ready.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Well, technically, that was I said we hit a quota of one thing. So I thought Carsokrow you didn't know about, but you did. So I had at least one more.

SPEAKER_04 1:22

Oh, I mean, that's really tricky.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

What's what's going on? I don't know, but I forgot. People are texting. Um here's another episode where Blair has about 17 people messaging him per that was the one thing I forgot to do.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Everything's on Do Not Disturb now. Curse. Sorry. Curse. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:43

Um keep our eye are looking at the computer just to make sure. Cool. But so far, so good.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Cool. Um could you do the honors?

SPEAKER_04 1:59

If only you begin the podcast, how we're supposed to begin it.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Start it off, baby. Start it off, start it off, start it off, start it off.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

It's so good. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 2:15

I don't even know where it came from, but it's good.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

I don't know either. Great job. Bravo. Appreciate you. Bravo. Appreciate you.

SPEAKER_04 2:22

Welcome to the Synced Up Podcast. I'm your host, Kalia Edwards, and I have the lovely other host to my left.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Blair Edwards.

SPEAKER_04 2:37

We're happy that you joined us again because this time is fun. And we hope that you've been enjoying listening to us for the past few episodes. On today's episode, we are going to be talking about the shift uh in our relationship, specifically around just some new career opportunities. Blair taking on a tour, how that impacted our relationship, what was important to us, what we needed to shift in terms of our foundation, what conversations we were having, and maybe a little bit more context around some of the reasons why you chose to stay in Vegas for so long.

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Oh my gosh, I can't believe that was so beautiful.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

Do you think people are just like so annoyed with how lovely we are on this podcast?

SPEAKER_02 3:25

You should be. You should be. You should like I'm disgusted too. You and I are on the same page. I don't want to be this nice to her. This broad? Nah.

SPEAKER_04 3:35

A broad?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Okay. Happy Sunday. I love you though. I love you. All right, let's let's let's get into it. Get into it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:49

Doja cat. Yeah. Lovely. Alright, so I think you I think you started off.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Yeah. Um, okay, cool. So there we were. Story time. Um, we're talking about shifting careers and how that affects the relationship. So a little bit of backstory. I am an artist, a performer. Um when Khalia and I met, I was still employed by Sok de Soleil. Shout out to Sok de Soleil. I love that company. Um I joined the company when I was like 20 years old. And I stayed there for eight years. Eight years, man. Don't now don't get me wrong. Some of the most amazing eight years of my life. But the reason why I had to leave was because I was being complacent. Prior to me getting into Cirque du Soleil, uh, I was an illegal immigrant. And I was bouncing around from couch to couch. I didn't have schedule, I didn't have any schooling to go to. Um so the moment that I got the opportunity to perform with Cirque, within the same week I got my papers, um, I had a job, all of those things. So the moment that I came to Vegas, I'm like, I'm set for life, survival. You know, I mean, I'm never gonna give this up. And I alluded to this on another podcast I did earlier, but being in survival mode and then having that shift to like feels like you have the whole world handed to you, um, you never want to let go of that. But now the thing about safety and being in your comfort zone is you start to lose your edge. And I started to instinctually feel like I was losing a part of myself um just being quote unquote complacent. Now, don't get me wrong, I've done other side projects, like I started a modeling career to some degree, and it was holding me up, it was keeping the juices flowing, but at the same time, it wasn't quite the same as like really putting yourself out there to see what you're made of. Um, and that's just my own trajectory of my own journey. Um, then we met then COVID. COVID, y'all remember COVID? Answer in the comments how many of you did COVID quarantine and by yourselves? I did. Look at the iTwitch.

SPEAKER_04 6:25

Does it count that I did COVID like half by myself?

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:29

Yeah, and I was in the a big house alone after our family dog died. It was just such a sad time.

SPEAKER_00 6:35

Dang, I didn't even know that. Superman?

SPEAKER_04 6:37

Yes, R.I.P. to Superman, he was a great dog. We love labs, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Anyway, being in COVID by yourself, like you have a lot of time to self-reflect, to assess what you what's going on with life, and I realized, yo, what am I doing? What am I really doing with my life? And um then we met each other, and you know, you never realize how much you ain't doing shit till you meet somebody that is doing shit, and that was you, baby. Once I started realized that you're so prolific and fantastic and so intentional with what you're doing with your life and your career, I realized, oh, I wasn't doing the same. It was a gut punch, reality check.

SPEAKER_04 7:21

That's funny because I felt like, I mean, while there were like a lot of things that were changing my life, I met you right when I mean I basically was like manifesting me moving to LA and getting a job. Like at that time, I wasn't even working in LA, but I was like, I'll figure it out when I get there. Yeah. But there's just so many things that I have yet to accomplish yet. So it's interesting that that was your perspective at the time.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

Well, I mean, remember, like right off the first day we met, you're like, Yeah, you know, I'm moving to LA, um, going to studio C all that kind of stuff. I'm like, I'm still in Vegas. I'm like, we're gonna meet up later, like, whatever, what are we gonna do? Look, either way, um so I started to hatch a plan of like, okay, I I need to do more for myself. What could I possibly do?

SPEAKER_04 8:10

Yeah, which led you to what?

SPEAKER_02 8:13

Well word on the street is it wasn't even word on the street. So being being a performer, there's I knew I wanted more. I wanted to do a shift, I but I still wanted the to maximize on the security of funds coming in. I don't want to be out here in these streets like someone hire me, you know. Um, so the next best thing I could do was if I'm not ready to make that full-on leap, is join another show. And that other show that I had in mind was um Magic Mike.

SPEAKER_04 8:55

He wanted to become a male shipper.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

Oh man, that's not true.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

I know that you love when when um it's equated to that. Although you did make jokes 24-7 about you being a male shipper to everyone that we were talking to.

SPEAKER_02 9:11

Was this before I joined Magic Mike or after?

SPEAKER_04 9:16

It's like when it was confirmed that you were joining the tour, you were like, so how does it feel knowing that your daughter is uh dating a shipper?

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Yeah, okay, so that was okay, so that was like a personal, like quick temperature check to see what's the what's the vibes? Because think about it. We're starting to date, we're starting to get a good thing going. Why would I ruin it by putting myself in an environment which it could mess up the relationship potentially with all the ladies around? Yeah, I was just like, look, I don't I don't exactly want to do this, but I need something different. But if we are together, I need to make sure that the shift is something that at least you'll be like kind of okay with. If you were like absolutely not, I might have been like, yeah, then imagine mic might not be the move.

SPEAKER_04 10:07

Well, we actually now thinking about it, we had a lot of conversations leading up to it before we even I think because you had auditioned right when I first met you or like submitted a tape, didn't you?

SPEAKER_02 10:17

Yeah, before before the world came back up, they reached out to me to audition uh so I sent a submission video for the Vegas show. I ended up not getting in. That was before they had their like TV show.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

Um so we talked about it at that time period where you're like, hey, how would you feel if and I was like, I I d I think I said I didn't care.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Okay, but unless no? Yes, you did say you didn't care, but see, I I gotta be real with you, you know what I mean? How many women out there were in heteronormative cisgender circumstances? Right?

SPEAKER_03 11:01

Agree.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Okay, um, how many people would be comfortable with their partner being in a show where it's much more provocative in dealing with other women? What for you on your side of things, preemptively before me even getting in there, what made you feel like it was okay for me to be able to do that? Can you speak to that a bit?

SPEAKER_04 11:25

Okay, well, a couple things. Number one, you are in charge of your own life. So I don't ever want to be like, I don't want you doing something. If I have a certain perspective, I I want to be able to have a conversation and share with you of like where I'm at and how I'm feeling, but I don't want my if there were like insecurities about you being around other women to dictate how you move, like it's your life to live. And the worst thing that you can do, I think, is like tell someone not to do something or that you don't like what they're doing, and then it it stops them from from making a certain kind of move, and then later they're gonna resent you for it or like have regrets. So I didn't want you to have any regrets, like realistically, how long do people have to really be in Magic Mike? I mean, I can plead the fifth on that one, but I think for you it was more of like how long are you gonna be in your prime and how long is your body gonna be able to like keep up with the amount of work that's required of you in the show? So if at the age that you were at at that time, were you how old were you?

SPEAKER_00 12:24

28, I think. 27, 28.

SPEAKER_04 12:27

Yeah, somewhere around there. So it's like, okay, how many years are you gonna are you willing to dedicate your life to doing something where it's like so taxing on your body? That's the first point. Second point is I trusted you. So I wasn't concerned. I mean, besides the fact that you were dating four other ladies before you solidified that.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

You already said the trust was there.

SPEAKER_04 12:54

Um, I retract my original statement and I'm proceeding in a different direction. I've been watching the O.J. Simpson um docuseries, so I feel like I'm in I'm in trial. Anyway, that's a whole other conversation. Um, but yeah, I just I I didn't have any reservations when it came to you, and I knew that you respected me and our relationship. And if you change your mind about us being exclusive or you respecting the relationship that we did have or that we were creating, that you would tell me um versus like betraying my trust.

SPEAKER_02 13:28

You got all of that from wait, have you ever been in that circumstance before?

SPEAKER_04 13:34

Absolutely not. First of all, I've never even dated anybody, I've never dated an entertainer. So it's a very and it's a different experience, right? Because it's a lot of it is acting.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 13:44

And we'll talk about this later in the pod, too, where you know, there are conversations around like boundaries. And when you're in a space and you are acting out a certain persona, you can't fight fake the funk so much that people don't believe that you're not really invested. Like women are coming to see you put on a show and which you take off your shirt and your like sex symbols, more or less, and you're dancing and like you're talented. That's icing on the cake, cherry on top. But it's acting, and I think I had to grapple with that more when we when you became Mike because there was way more going on there.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Spoiler alert.

SPEAKER_04 14:24

Spoiler alert. If you've ever seen Magic Mike live, all I'll say is the water scene. Anyway, so yeah, I just it wasn't for me, it wasn't like a that big of a deal. I trusted you. I never experienced anyone else in that realm before, and so I was like, great, let's see how it goes.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Okay, well, thanks for having that confidence in me. I I was like, look, I've never been in that kind of dynamic whilst being in a relationship, so I wasn't even sure how I would be, but just right off the jump, I knew that I'm like, I'm good for it, baby. You know what I mean? I ain't gonna disrespect you. But at the same time, I wanted to make sure that you were good before I before I even jumped into it like that. But yeah, you pretty much gave me your blessings in a roundabout way, and I was like, okay, cool. Um so yeah, we uh we started to put the feelers out there, um, and they I did an audition and come to find out that they had the choice of either doing the Vegas show or going on tour with Magic Mike. Now I didn't I mean go sorry.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

All I was gonna say is that um this might be part of the reason why you chose what you did, but tour happened to be in Miami, and if you recall from previous episodes, Blair uh is from South Florida. Yeah, hence the shirt he really 305 till I die.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

What happened? Brown county, day county, what happened on my Brown County bandage, y'all know what it is. Hey, for real.

SPEAKER_04 16:08

That was a lot.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

You know what's funny? Like, while at the show, I was sorry, little side note, but I was backstage, and so I when I say like costume change, they always make jokes and they're like costume change. I sometimes forget that I'm British, but they I was like, what if I just started to switch up my accent? I tell people, uh hey yo, for real, like I ain't even like British, this is just an accent, you know what I mean? Like, you know, I mean, I'm just trying to push y'all along, see what it was really happening, like what's good with y'all. If y'all really want to fuck with a real ones, let me know. You know what I mean? And some of the people backstage were like, wait, wait, wait, wait, are you are you American? I'm like, no, no, I'm British, but I grew up in South Florida, but it's funny because now that I show that little part of it, people are kind of like, oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 16:51

Yeah, it's part of that mystique that you love to lead with.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

I'm an X-Men.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Oh, wait, no, Mystique was she was on the other side. Look, anyway, okay. Going back to what we were saying, it was showing Miami, and I'm like, hey, look, I've been in Vegas for eight plus years. If I go on tour, go back to Miami, the stopping grounds, it would be a nice little transition to come come back to where you start on some poetic justice type. A homecoming of sorts, a homecoming of sorts, yes. So I was like, Do you know what? Yeah, I think I'm I think I'm gonna go for it. So uh what did we end up doing? We we cleaned out my apartment that I was living in for the past five years. I I was a bit of a hoarder. That's how I knew uh Khalil was a real one because she helped me clean it out. Oh my gosh, that was the worst thing.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

You were so resistant to me helping you clean.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Because I knew the trash that I had in there, it was horrible. And we're not gonna get into it. Can I can I fine? Fine.

SPEAKER_04 17:57

Okay, so um Blair had a well, I think a couple of things. Number one was the amount of canned goods that live in your pantry.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

When you're in survival mode, you need to make sure that you're gonna survive non-perishable items.

SPEAKER_04 18:14

But I will give you it was COVID, it was post-COVID, so potentially you bought these things in COVID during COVID. I don't know, but there's lots of canned items, all expired, which I feel like canned things never go bad. Anywho, and then the most interesting thing was that Blair had multiple sheet sets. One of which this is bad. One of which was I don't even know, like navy sheets that were pinstriped.

SPEAKER_02 18:45

You're making this worse, baby.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

But one was satin and one was cotton. So it was like it was like sequentially like satin, shiny, dull, shiny, dull, shiny, dull. And it was brand new. So I didn't know if you bought those for like a special occasion. I had no idea. There were just so many things that we found in that house. I'll spare the other one because I don't want to put you on blast, but um, it it was just an interesting time. I learned so much about you, and I think I told you, promise me you'll never let this happen again.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

I promised.

SPEAKER_02 19:20

I did. Okay. Now, in my defense, let's think about it. I just said that I went from being pretty much homeless, bouncing around, and then getting to somewhere where it has some stability. That comes with you you you kind of collect things to make yourself feel like uh nothing can be taken away from you. So I was a bit of a hoarder. Now I I get it, I get it. I have changed my ways. I do have a storage locker that has a couple more things, but we're gonna have a garage sale soon. But what I'm saying is it was a byproduct of a survival mechanism. I had to do it, I had to survive. But yeah, I had a lot of trash and she cleared out that trash out with the old, in with the new. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 20:07

Damn, that was a fun time.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

That was so bad.

SPEAKER_04 20:11

And it was an emotional time for you too, because you were like literally reckoning with your reality shifting while it was happening, very dis destabilizing.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

But I will say the thing that made me more equipped to do that change was your baby. Yes, baby. You you were you were my foundation between it all as I laid new roots.

SPEAKER_04 20:43

Elsewhere, yeah. And honestly, I mean it just seemed natural to me. Uh, what I was really keen to though was what emotions you were experiencing because for me, I'm like, okay, dude, it's been too long. Like it's time to go pack up this stuff and like let's get out. And what I realized in the process of helping you move out was that there was so much tied to security and stability and having a home base and having all of your things that um I like really needed to like give you grace about because for me, it's like you know, growing up in a house where yeah, we moved a couple times, but like growing up, I lived in the same house from seven until 22. And so there was things, but then you know, when it's like spring cleaning or whatever, my parents would be like, Hey, we're gonna go through the garage. It's like, okay, we're getting rid of that. Like it was a normal part of purging, yeah. But for you, it was like a very different experience because it was the first time that you you had the agency and the choice to to get rid of or to keep, you know. And so there's a lot of things tied to that. And I understood that. And now I understand that, and I understood that right after we kind of like moved you out.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

Thank you so much for extending that grace to me. Because I was like, don't look at me, don't don't, don't, don't look in that closet and you open a closet and the avalanche comes out, you're like, ah, you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_04 21:58

Basically, yeah, there's a lot of things in there.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:01

Alright, so before so you were gonna move at the like middle of September, before like right after your birthday, right before your birthday to Miami. You decided that you were gonna go on tour Miami.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 22:15

I agree that that was the best thing for you to do, although that might maybe be even further apart from each other.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Yeah. I was like, how we how we gonna do this?

SPEAKER_04 22:25

But we had a conversation uh in my apartment after we came back from Hawaii. Yeah. Before you went to Miami.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:34

What did you take from that conversation?

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Um that we really in this thing. We are really doing this. I like I said, um there was a lot of with a lot of survival mechanisms, you just think of yourself. And this was the first time that I'm like, I have a partner and we are making choices as a team. Um and because you got like 50,000 planners and schedules and all those different things, I was like, oh, I'm not used to this, but I'm I'm game. Um what I learned is instead of living in a moment, we can do forture for future forward planning. Yes. Um but there was some things that we needed to establish of like, okay, what do we want to see within the next year, the next five? You know what I mean? Like, what are the intentions? And I recognize that I'm not gonna do the same thing of being on tour for years on end and like falling into the same um the same habits, uh and I gotta stop saying uh I apologize. We have to be much more intentional. So what we do Imagemic for something new, get your cloud up, more money, get out. That's it. So I said, okay, cool. I think we put a cap on it, like maybe what?

SPEAKER_04 24:05

Like a few years, I think. Maybe I think it was like three years time.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

Maximum. So I was like, okay, cool. Um I just did um again. I apologize. I think I could take that on post. In addition to that, we were like, let's just elevate everything. So I think we also said that we had to be more intentional about the resources and community that we had.

SPEAKER_04 24:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

Um rubbing shoulders with like-minded people that kind of thing. Just elevation in all areas and now we're like, yeah, ultimately we're just doing it together. That was my biggest takeaway. We're doing everything together, and we have to uh check in with each other and all of that good stuff.

SPEAKER_04 24:54

You had an aha moment. Do you remember what it was?

SPEAKER_02 24:57

Oh yeah, I had a light bulb moment. What was that? Was it something to the effect of correct me if I'm wrong? So I I remember feeling like the way that you show up for me has been monumental. And I felt as though I wasn't pouring into the same as the relationship. And what you what I realize is the way that I show up in a relationship is just as beneficial on your side of things. So one of our keywords for a relationship, at least for the beginning, was reciprocity. And I think it's like if someone gives me five dollars, I want to be able to give you five dollars, and that's the same. I'm thinking that's that's reciprocity, but what I didn't understand is what we're able to put in may look differently. So in addition to reciprocity, there has to be a level of equitability.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

So but it's like love languages. If I'm saying for myself I love the love language of acts of service, and I try to give you, try to put out acts of service to you, but you don't receive it in that way, you appreciate protected time, that would be just as beneficial, even if I don't necessarily receive it in the same way. So that a hulk moment was even though I feel like you're giving me the emotional support, the physical support, mental support, guidance, all those different things, and I'm looking at you like, okay, what do I have to offer? I'm like, I don't really got nothing. You're like, what are you talking about? You show up for me, you care, you listen, and I'm gonna say a whole bunch of things that I don't really feel like it's quantifiably the same amount, but I had to accept that um that I was showing up for you just as much as you were showing up for me. And that was that's a new dynamic to realize and to be appreciative of. Look at me, I'm you're just folding your beam with things, fold it proper. But yeah, thanks for reminding me about that. Yeah, yeah, that was that was such a beautiful, um that was such a beautiful reality to to accept, especially like moving into this next dynamic of the relationship and our trajectory. Thank you for reminding me about that. Oh, how can I forget that? That was such a beautiful time.

SPEAKER_04 27:34

There was so much going on at that time in our lives, especially for you, because you were doing a lot. I mean, we packed the schedule tight before you moved out there, but yeah, you were like, Oh, I get it now. I understand it. I'm like, thank thank goodness.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Yeah, it was bad because I just never felt that I was doing enough.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

And I think that that's I mean, I think we've all been there. I'll speak from Place of I too. It's like, hmm, I've been working a lot. Am I doing the same things that I could be doing for him? Am I still giving enough energy and effort? Am I still like I moved out here, took a new job, and I was nose deep and like a bunch of work. You know what I mean? So it's like, how am I showing up for you? But I also understood, hey, right now, uh, the way that we're gonna show up for one another isn't like very different. But that's life. It ebbs and flows. I'm not always gonna be able to give you what I gave you before you went to Miami, and you're not always gonna be able to give me what you gave to me when you were like in between shows and you had more time, you know? It just is what it is. Yeah, but it's not gonna change throughout life, if anything, it just ebbs and flows even more.

SPEAKER_02 28:42

You see why one is to start this podcast? Because of that mindset. Who what books you be reading? Who you be listening to?

SPEAKER_04 28:51

I haven't read books in so long, but I'm really excited. The countdown's coming. I mean, the countdown's coming to an end. Come like after May 18th. I'll be May 16th, whenever. I don't even know. I'll be ready to go. June, our pool's opening. I'm gonna have my Kindle outside. I'll have all my books lined up. I'm just gonna be outside, my parents and I call it leathered up, just in the sun with protection, of course, and just reading books.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

You get like me.

SPEAKER_04 29:22

Well, I'm sorry, but that's just not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

But there's a will, there's a way, baby. Yes, your your your attitude determines your altitude.

SPEAKER_04 29:32

Or I'll just like sear my skin and get like melanoma. Don't do that. Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

So we made those choices, we sat down, we made a game plan. Now the next thing to do was to take the loop. So say goodbye to my friends and family, um, put things in storage. I was like, I'll be back for you later. She can't throw you away if you're locked in here.

SPEAKER_04 29:59

Yeah, there were certain things that I literally had said to throw them away, and then lo and behold, we go to storage and there's all these odds and ends plates and utensils because you only would have one circle bowl, one square bowl, one square plate, two square plates.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

Like they don't need to know all of that.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

They do.

SPEAKER_02 30:15

But if we are having a garage cell, hello at your boy, I got some thanks for you.

SPEAKER_04 30:19

You're having a garage that thing that we're donating that.

SPEAKER_02 30:23

So the next thing to do was to take flight, and now I'm in now I'm on tour with Magic Mike. As I was leaving, what were some of the the mindsets about me joining this tour that was going through your mind? Was there anything that you were thinking that maybe I might change? Um I really didn't know.

SPEAKER_04 30:48

I think Yeah, I well, good thing for me. It meant that you were three hours ahead of me. So that meant I didn't have to stay up as late anymore because I would stay up to talk to you after you finished at sh at Cirque. Uh so now I could stay awake until you know nine o'clock and then midnight would come and you'd be done on the show. So it was actually nice in that respect. But no, I just didn't know how long you'd be gone for, you know. I think with the tour, we didn't really understand the scope. It was like you were meant to be in a place for six months and then go elsewhere. And so I the questions I had are more around okay, how long can we really do this? And and since my career requires me to be in person somewhere, like, do I need to start shifting that? Do I need to look at other opportunities? And when is a good time to do that? Considering we still hadn't like we we weren't necessarily in the mode of like, okay, in two years we're gonna get buy a house and get married, and like we we hadn't had those conversations yet, so I was unsure if I needed to make those kind of big leaps.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

I'm gonna take a quick pause to just make sure everything's still recording, but you can keep going.

SPEAKER_04 32:00

Well, yeah, I think that that's I mean that was like my really my biggest concern or thought was how long is this gonna continue to go on and at what point am I gonna am I gonna be the one that has to make a move? Because entertainment really only happens in a few different places. So it's not like we could pick up and move to Rhode Island. Not that I want to go there, but you know, like your job was the more was the one I needed to take into account more than my own because I could basically figure something out wherever we went.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Yeah, and that's another aspect of being an entertainer and performer, like your job being contingent on um wherever the job is, and I didn't like that aspect of having to be the the vagabond per se, and especially not knowing, just like you said, where I'm going to be ending up, what that's gonna look like, but at least I I wanted to cross that bridge when we came to it later on down the line. The first thing I wanted to do was let's see how this works out, you know what I mean? So, but yeah, I was like, let me get in and get out, and then I think we'll be fine.

SPEAKER_04 33:13

What uh what were you concerned about, or what were some of your thoughts about like going on tour and how that would affect us?

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Um, so I think being in circ in the Beatles Love Show, you're putting on makeup, you have wigs, singing about love, frolicking. I'm like, that's fine. I didn't actually realize because you think, okay, magic mic, yeah, strippers. You're not really understanding the scope of it, but it didn't really dawn on me, like, oh shoot, I'm gonna have to actually like interact with women, and like, what's that gonna be like? I was like, ooh, I am I'm not comfortable. I started to realize how uncomfortable I would be. I think during the rehearsal process and like starting the show, they actually brought people in for us to like practice giving lap dances to. Yep, that made me feel sick, not sick, disgusted with myself, but really dawning on me like okay, this is in a controlled environment, and I'm gonna have to interact with strangers. My mother said, Don't talk to strangers. Well, I look like gyrating on them. That's gonna be wild. Yeah, so that's what made me go. That I think that was just the one aspect because I'm still a professional. I'm gonna kill the show, but I think it was that aspect of having different energies being pushed towards you and just seeing how you're gonna navigate that space. And we actually had a conversation about that, I think at some point. No?

SPEAKER_04 34:49

About what exactly?

SPEAKER_02 34:51

About dealings with the public. Dealings?

SPEAKER_01 35:00

What does that even mean?

SPEAKER_02 35:02

Okay, so I'm in Miami. It's a new lifestyle, and you know, these guys some of these guys have done this show already, you know. I think some of them did Australia. Um, but I'm the new one, kind of the baby. Now I'm thinking I come here, I'm gonna kill my show. I'm like dancing, all of that, right? But I forgot about like the the the um interaction. The interactions, yes, with the crowd. With the crowd. That's something that I wasn't actually prepared for. So I'm going on stage and I'm doing my show, and then there comes times where you interact with the crowd, but I'm pretty sure like I was going over to like the people in the season, just being like, I'm pretty sure you weren't doing that. It felt like that. Meanwhile, everyone was like, just going in.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

Yeah, they got graphic.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

I'm like, oh, it's not it's like, you know, like when you see people go, oh, ah, you know what I mean? I'm like, these people are going in. Me, I'm just like, ah, I I don't want to exactly feel too comfortable. I had to add a come to heart with you. I'm like, baby, I don't know if I can do this. It's just I just don't feel comfortable doing this show because I'm in a relationship with you and I I want to make sure that we are we're on the same page and whatnot. And then you said something to me that I I I couldn't rack my brain around, but it literally caused you pain. Pain. It not on some tag like sex, love, and pain, but tell me, uh, was I is I sex, love, and pain? Yeah, yeah, that's it. What was the statement that you told me?

SPEAKER_04 36:53

You need to push some boundaries. Is that what I said?

SPEAKER_02 36:58

You said it's okay to push boundaries but not break the rules.

SPEAKER_04 37:04

Yeah. That's what my mom told me when I was growing up. Did I ever tell you this?

SPEAKER_02 37:09

I think you did mention that.

SPEAKER_04 37:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

At the time, what does that mean? What does that really mean? What does that mean? What does it really mean?

SPEAKER_04 37:18

But you won't want to know why it didn't make sense, is because we never actually talked about boundaries that we had for one another based on what we said last podcast. It was like we just kind of agreed silently to certain things and stay within like a certain confine that we believed was appropriate. So because we had never established anything, you didn't actually know what the boundaries were, so therefore you couldn't push them because you didn't know what they were.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

Why would Why would one push boundaries? I didn't understand that.

SPEAKER_04 37:46

Yeah, but the thing about it is like it goes back to I've heard this come up a couple of times in different conversations, but or like on TV or something, but someone will say, he only has eyes for me, or like you better not look at other women. And it's like, that's not realistic. Unpopular opinion, hot take. If you're in a relationship, your partner is peeking at other people. Because we're humans, it's human nature. So I hope if we see a very beautiful woman walking on the street, that you also look at her. Because why would you not? It's weird if you're like this. I'm not looking at anyone else, I'm not looking at anyone else, and just like keeping your blinders on.

SPEAKER_02 38:30

Okay. So I come from a school of head in the sand like an ostrich. You don't look, you don't touch, like what you know I mean, you just don't do it. Ignorance is bliss, and I prided myself on that. Now, sure, she would say because of the dealings I had with other people, that's one thing. That's because we weren't exactly exclusive. You know what I mean? That that was the the gray area. But if I'm in a relationship, your boy loyal. Okay, I don't play those games, I don't look, I don't touch, I don't do none of that. So for you to be like, yeah, push the boundaries. I'm like, you you're who I am at my core, this is dangerous territory. I don't like this game, I am not having fun. But I think once you said that part of me, and and you didn't say what boundaries, what boundaries that I could push. And you said to myself, do we need to go over the boundaries and what the rules are? And I said, No. And you're like, okay, well, there we go. And I took that as okay, she trusts in me. Alright, I trust in myself, but you trust in me. So you got me galvanized. So I figured I need to know what my own boundaries are, and then when I feel like I might be pushing something a little too far to the point that it could break, okay, that maybe that's a rule. Do you understand what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 40:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Now I didn't understand, I didn't understand what that meant, but at the time, whilst being a magic mic and all of that, and dealing and interacting with women, I'm like, okay, what are boundaries? And so I quickly found out what those boundaries were.

SPEAKER_04 40:24

And then wait, how did you find out what the boundaries were?

SPEAKER_02 40:28

I found out what the boundaries were once some rules were being tested as far as being broken.

SPEAKER_04 40:37

Say more.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Like, for example, I could dance on a woman, right? If she tries to kiss me, oh, that's a roll. You know what I mean? I'm like, nope.

SPEAKER_04 40:50

Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. Kiss you anywhere or in the mouth? Can they kiss you in the neck?

SPEAKER_02 40:56

Okay, so that's the thing.

SPEAKER_04 40:58

Also, this is never before seen footage from Blue Edwards talking about his time at Magic Mic and pushing boundaries, so let's keep it going.

SPEAKER_02 41:04

People have been calling you out about throwing me underneath the bus. No one's calling you out about that.

SPEAKER_04 41:09

That is a farce. And I will not take this slander in the court of law.

SPEAKER_01 41:14

Your honor.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

Okay, but yeah, I'm not like I'm not letting someone give me a hickey. You know what I mean? I'm not letting that. If someone kisses me on the neck and I and I'm not seeing it, I'll be like, oh, okay, cool. Now on on the outside, I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But at the inside, I'm like, get away, get away, get away. I gotta go. I gotta go.

SPEAKER_04 41:41

Also, this is like a throwback moment to uh when you're in Magic Mic when I moved here, and you you would come home after the show, and I'd be like, Did you was someone on your neck?

SPEAKER_02 41:53

This girl has super smelling. She's got powers and she's intuitive. This is why, like, it's it's a dangerous game. I knew I knew there was no point in trying to do nothing because she would be able to tell. I walk in her hey base, she's like, You was at the stroke club, was you? I'm like, No, no, no, it wasn't, I wasn't. She's like, I can smell dollar bills on you.

SPEAKER_01 42:20

Funny.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

Thank you. No, but yeah, um, if someone kisses me somewhere that I can't see or identify, I'd be like, oh, okay, cool. I'll just move on to the next person, right? Also, at the same time, it's a roar. I'm a gentleman. Okay. So when it comes to dancing on women, I'm not gonna get bricked up and then keep dancing. That's just not a good look. Bricked up. You know what I'm talking about? I'm not gonna keep on going. That's just not appropriate.

SPEAKER_04 42:49

Okay, so I have a question. Yeah, you can choose to not answer this if you'd like.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

Probably not gonna answer, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 42:54

What's the wildest thing a woman did to you while performing at the show? I I would love to know. A lot of time has passed, so I feel like it's appropriate now for me to ask this question.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

Luckily, I I wasn't one of the performers that was abused. Right. I probably even shouldn't say that.

SPEAKER_04 43:12

Yeah, we'll just that's fine. Like people, there it's people, human nature, you know, you got all types of folks in this world, so people might abuse things. But anyway, from your own experience, what's the wildest thing that happened to you?

SPEAKER_02 43:26

I want to say I kind of got away with not a lot.

SPEAKER_04 43:29

I kind of I I mean Okay, so we know that people kissed you. What else?

SPEAKER_02 43:33

I I think I'm not remember I'm not remembering now it's repressed. It's choosing to please the fifth mind.

SPEAKER_04 43:40

Please the fifth.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

It's not even plea the fifth. I just don't remember sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 43:44

Also tell me that you don't remember about anything besides me. And so that's where I'm like, we maybe need to take you to like a hypnotist so we can like pull back the old memories.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

Bring back my trauma?

SPEAKER_04 43:52

Why would you it's not trauma, maybe, but imagine if they're like remember and I'm like, uh

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Okay, I need to calm down. You're getting animated. It's cute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 44:12

Anywho, okay, so I've digressed a bit because I I wanted to see if I could pull anything else out of you. Because the people like to know the information, the the inner workings of things. Because I mean, even for myself, I didn't know about show life. I've never I don't have, I mean, I had friends at dance, but not in a show. So it was always interesting for me to hear what was happening on a day-to-day basis. Um, but you are choosing to not share.

SPEAKER_02 44:38

Yeah, I like I said, I I try to be as professional as possible. So anything that just seemed like a bit sketchy, I think I just was like, okay, thank you so much. And then just move on because I just rather not play that game.

SPEAKER_04 44:53

Yeah, he's his smile is shivering and shaking. Hopefully we can zoom in on that.

SPEAKER_02 44:57

Okay. Anywho, um all right, so when you're at tour, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:03

There was a lot going on for you, which we don't need to get into. But what why do you think our relationship continued to be successful over the course of time? What was like four months that you were there?

SPEAKER_02 45:17

Yeah, I think it was the communication. We stayed on top of it. There was there was some things going on. Okay, so remember, remember, new environment coming from eight years of a reality into something completely brand new. I needed that support, and you gave me that support every single time. With that comes the reality of just making sure that we're on the same page, and I think there was an element of me being even even more long distance and not being able to like drive up to you and get to you so quickly that I just felt that I wouldn't be able to provide you with what's so funny.

SPEAKER_04 46:12

Provide me with what? Provide you with the proper things you deserve and need in a relationship, and that's the physical It all comes back to proximity, proximity.

SPEAKER_02 46:25

We were even longer distance away, and we couldn't just we couldn't just jump in a flight. Our schedules are pretty much packed as they are. I'm still doing shows.

SPEAKER_04 46:34

The flights ain't cheap, and they're longer, so it's less time you look you're gonna lose time, right?

SPEAKER_02 46:40

Now, on my side of things, I'm like, okay, I'm around all these different energies and whatnot, and I know that I'm solid, but is everything solid back at home with my with my missus? What's going on here? So there was a brief time where I was feeling really insecure. Like, I don't know like what's going on, and then you know, but I think the the thing that kept us going was anytime that there was anything, I was like, I'm feeling uncomfortable, I don't know what's going on. We always communicated and we were just on the same page and we were intentional about what is the goal, what is the goal between both of us, and we always got on the same page. There were tears.

SPEAKER_03 47:23

There will be tears.

SPEAKER_02 47:29

Frank Gushen.

SPEAKER_03 47:30

There will be some rose.

SPEAKER_04 47:34

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

That was absolutely horrible. I didn't warm up.

SPEAKER_04 47:37

And you also didn't have water, so yeah. But yeah, there were tears, but we made it through. And it just comes back to like technology, you know. Sometimes when when one thing goes wrong and and you can see it's like it feels like it's wrong, then you can like look at everything else and you're like, see, it's a sign from the universe because everything's going wrong all at once, and then we're farther away, so then we can't get a hold of each other and like we can't talk as often, or I can't, like you said, I can't come see you. But we did maintain the the schedule of seeing each other often, which probably helped a lot, even though it wasn't as frequent. We still did see each other. I came for our puzzle, uh, I came for your opening, like your press night. We made it on the video, the drone footage, whatever. No other couple made it on there because of course I wasn't in the show, so what was I doing on the red carpet? But you pulled me over.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

Oh, I had to.

SPEAKER_04 48:35

It was so cute.

SPEAKER_02 48:36

I said, uh, come here now. I'm like, I need I need my missus with me.

SPEAKER_04 48:41

And I was like, even that wasn't your missus at that point. You were always my missus, except for when you had four of the women, because then we would have been sister wives. Good thing we're so close to Utah.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

You keep throwing it back at me, and I'm like, should I you want to go there? You want to go there?

SPEAKER_04 48:57

Okay, come at me.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

No, I never do that, baby. Ever, ever, ever.

SPEAKER_04 49:03

Only she's the one who's toxic, not me.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

No, no, no. It's fine.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

I'll I'll take the arrows. That's fine. But yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:11

But yeah, so I think all in all, the reason why we were able to, and again, for months, it wasn't forever, but for months of time. And during the holiday season as well. So it was like difficult, you know. Like you were you were in Miami for Thanksgiving. Not that we celebrate that holiday, but like we do typically get together with friends and family. And so for you not to be like, you just can't come hang out with me, or vice versa, because I obviously needed to work the next day. And then for Christmas, we made it work, but it was it was like 24 hours and that's it, you know.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

Yeah. I I tell you, I don't care how much money or how much time I'll if I can spend at least 10 minutes with you and spending like six hundred dollars on flights, I'll do six hundred dollars. You have to be intentional. I need to let you know that you tell me what you need, I tell you what I need, and we just make it work. It's just that simple. See how we can make it happen.

SPEAKER_04 50:04

I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00 50:06

Not as much as I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_04 50:09

A fun fact, we used to before we said I love you, we'd only ever say, I I really appreciate you. I'm really grateful for you. And that was our code way of saying that. I love we loved each other, even though we never said that we were doing it like that.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

But you I mean, there's always a little bit of there's always a little bit of love and appreciation and gratitude for things, but for us to be saying that towards each other and like laying it on thick, yeah, we could tell. I'm like, yeah, she loved me.

SPEAKER_04 50:38

I do. All right, on the next episode, we get into the meat and potatoes of Magic Mike.

SPEAKER_02 50:47

No, okay. Look, it's not about Okay, I just wanted to promotional, it's to get the people excited.

SPEAKER_04 50:55

It's tea.

SPEAKER_02 50:59

I we wanted to preface this podcast to be I don't want it to be all about me, I don't want it to be all about our profession, our jobs, I want it to be all about us and like the things I we both go through in terms of our jobs, and how do we tie it back to our relationship and how we navigate that space? That's why I wanted to be the focus of so even when it even like I know you're joking around being like it's about Major Mike, but there it really isn't. It's more about like how do we as a couple traverse rocky waters? And I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm so grateful that we did because I I don't know if I'd be able to do it by myself, you know. So what's the saying in God gives his hardest spells to the strongest short soldiers? Yeah, but I'm like, Amen.

SPEAKER_04 51:53

And the Lord said, God is good, baby.

SPEAKER_02 51:56

All the time.

SPEAKER_04 51:57

All the time.

SPEAKER_02 51:58

God is good, but but there there is something to be said for me to have like for us to have certain battles that's meant for the both of us. And I mean, we're together, so we must be doing something right. We must be the right kind of team to be able to make this happen.

SPEAKER_04 52:18

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

So thank you.

SPEAKER_04 52:21

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 52:22

Do you want to do any kind of sign-offs? Um, anything that you'd like to promote, anything that you would like to share to the people to keep in mind as they go throughout the the week. Anything that you'd like to share?

SPEAKER_04 52:34

Get some sunshine on your face. Okay, I'm wearing orange, like the sun, as a reminder. And it's just getting to that point in time now where the sun's coming out more. So I feel like it's just good to get some vitamin D. They say 20 minutes unprotected.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

Really?

SPEAKER_04 52:49

A day.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

Okay. Well, you had it here first. That's what I'm doing today.

SPEAKER_04 52:56

Yeah, same. We gotta get outside. Other than that, let's just have a great week. I'm excited. There's a lot of cool things happening these next couple weeks. Speaking of, we're gonna have to record because they can't record next Monday, so we're gonna have to record before next Monday.

SPEAKER_02 53:11

I know, we'll get it done.

SPEAKER_04 53:13

Lovely. What about you? We want to tell everyone.

SPEAKER_02 53:16

I want to tell everyone, um, drink your water. In addition to get some sunlight, drink your water. Give yourself at least what there's 24 hours in a day. Give yourself 15 minutes to meditate, to just do something for yourself. Self-care. That is the name of the game. Self.

SPEAKER_04 53:37

What's a self? I love you, but I just want to know.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

I have no words. You know what the f I meant.

SPEAKER_04 53:48

Oh, the cussing.

SPEAKER_02 53:50

Cussing. Oh my god. You okay, I I'll leave her alone. But please take care of yourselves. Yes? Read a book or something. I don't know. But check us out on socials. What's your social, baby?

SPEAKER_04 54:01

At Kalia Michaela, that is K-H-A-L-I-A. M A K A E L A.

SPEAKER_02 54:09

E I O U, your mama says And you can find me on Instagram, Mr. Blair Edwards, or TikTok, the black, no, at black British guy on TikTok.

SPEAKER_04 54:22

Very important. Who knows? Let's have a great weekend and a great week ahead.

SPEAKER_02 54:26

I like that. I love you. Thank you so much for sharing today. I appreciate you and throwing me underneath the bus yet again.

SPEAKER_04 54:33

I appreciate you too. And you gotta have a little bit of fun.

SPEAKER_02 54:36

Yeah, it was good. Cheers, baby.

SPEAKER_04 54:38

Cheers. Bye.

SPEAKER_02 54:41

Love you.

SPEAKER_04 54:41

I love you.