What's it REALLY Like Being a Married Couple?

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SPEAKER_03 0:15

Alright. How you feeling?

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Do I look cute or scary?

SPEAKER_03 0:20

Do you want my honest answer? Yep. You look scarily cute.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Happy Halloween.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Oh yeah. Yeah, it is Halloween coming up.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Uh, what's today? The 19th? Yeah, so soon. Several weeks.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

So you can basically go as yourself for Halloween because you're scarily cute. You're scarily cute. You're like laboo boo cute. Maybe you could be a la boo-boo this year.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

I would love to be a laboo-boo. Actually, great, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

That'd be kind of tough.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

I think so. Do you think it's like played out then?

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Um. I think so. I've uh apparently.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

It's over.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

I don't think it's really over. You could be a dead laboo boo. Like a Frankenstein. We just need to find you some like furry.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

I think it's easy to find. I think it's part of the um cosplay or whatever. Whatever those things are. What what are those um conventions?

SPEAKER_03 1:28

Yeah, like uh anime con, twist con.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Yeah. Where do they get their stuff from?

SPEAKER_03 1:34

I think they make them.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

With with their hands?

SPEAKER_03 1:38

With their feet. It's a real practice.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Oh shoot. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

I think you I think we should go as laboo-boo's. That's actually really good. Because you already kind of look like a laboo boo. Not in a scary way, but you just have the cutest face in the wall. Look at your nose. That's a laboo boo nose, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

So speaking of noses, I need to understand. When I smile, does my nose scrunch?

SPEAKER_03 2:02

Smile. No. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Because I'm trying to understand when I see people on TV who smile like and their nose is scrunched. I'm like, is that on purpose or is that like a natural reaction?

SPEAKER_03 2:18

What's worse? A nose scrunch or the tongue? Like that?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

What's I don't know. I think this is worse.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Because this feels forced.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

It's all forced to me. Maybe it's because it's a byproduct of them having a nose job, so their nose is just like they just get scrunched. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Anyway, just that I would ask.

SPEAKER_03 2:39

Um hello.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

Hey.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Hi. How you doing? Baby.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

We're never not recording the podcast. That's my commitment to you.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

We're never not recording a podcast.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

We have to always record the podcast because something will always come up. Life is happening, things are going on, the world's crazy, we're busy. But we have to record the podcast. I don't care if we have to travel with these 17 different cameras, we will do it.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

At least though, the setup is much different.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Yeah, I mean, you did a great job.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

It's you say that to me every time, and I always feel like you're lying, and I appreciate that. That's what marriage is all about. Lie to me, make me feel good about myself.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

I've never lied to you. You lied to me.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

How did I lie to you?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

You deceived me into telling you that I loved you first. Remember that? I believe the day was a week before my birthday.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Yeah. It's a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

2022. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

2021.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

No. Oh, I guess. Because it no, it was in January.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

It was before. Wait.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

My birthday's on January 18th. So It was after It was a week before my birthday.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

Oh, a week, okay, yeah, 2022. So 2022. See, this is why. See, this is marriage yet again. The wife, the mother will always be knowing everything.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Yeah, the wife's known.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

Okay, but let's get back to why we are here today. Baby, we're finally recording the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Well, and we've recorded podcasts, we haven't released any of that.

SPEAKER_03 4:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Because apparently I said something I shouldn't have said and almost outed you.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn't the main reason. The main reason why we've been recording podcasts but not putting them out is just to find our flow back together. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

You're faking me out.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Not faking you out. It's just that we we said that we were gonna take the summer off, and then we took a whole year off.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

A lot can happen in a year.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

A lot can happen in a year. So what we expect is just jump right back into our podcast and think shit is sweet.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Yes, that's how life is.

SPEAKER_03 4:50

Okay, all right. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Preparations for the week. No, I'm kidding.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Well, we've recorded two episodes so far. Yeah, so we're back. But this, this, this, this. Okay, sorry. This is the podcast episode that we're coming back finally. Rebrand.

SPEAKER_01 5:06

Rebrand. Open marriage podcast.

SPEAKER_03 5:09

Look, let's get something ultrally clear. We are not polygamous, open sorry to you freaks out there. I don't kink shame. Okay, but what we are saying is we're opening up the conversation around the podcast. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Around the marriage.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

Same difference. I already messed up the the let me try this again. We are not in an open marriage, but we are opening the conversation around our marriage in podcast format.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Very great.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Yeah, that was perfect.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Didn't even need to be.

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Come on, now like I said, I'm trying to get the group. Look at my hands, it's sweating, baby.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Sweating, babe.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

Because it's new. It's like there's there's an element of me always feeling a bit apprehensive when it comes to opening up someone's um relationship to the internet. Because you know, the internet goes on the internet, people like people are gonna be like, she's too good for him. Which, yes, is absolutely true.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

I think that we have so many fans. I mean, I've been getting so many questions about when this thing is coming back, so I'm just excited that we can give the people what they want.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

This is all we aim for. Yeah, we want to give you what we want. So enter in our marriage and listen to this episode of Open Marriage Podcast.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Very great. Yeah, you're doing it. Alright, so we've been gone for a while, but we won't worry about what happened in the past, except for let's just do a weekend review. What were we doing last week? What were we up to? Where were we?

SPEAKER_03 6:43

So last week I got back from vacation. We were on vacation.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I love how you said I, as if we weren't there together.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

So when you said what, do you say what you or what we?

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Well, I said what were we up to? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

I'm so sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Maybe I said you. I actually don't know.

SPEAKER_03 6:59

No, I'm sorry. But either way, we were on vacation and we went back to your old stomping crowns, baby.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Yeah, how was that for you?

SPEAKER_03 7:10

It was everything that I needed it to be. In the most honest sense. I think that being in a marriage, or at least this is what I'm understanding, we really need to know about each other. And more so than just one another, we need to know about our families. So I think again, the opportunity to spend a week in Minnesota, Minneapolis with your family, see your see your your godmother, basically your aunties, yeah, cousins, all of that stuff. I'm like, this is this is essentially my family. You know, I need to find out who everyone is. I love your people. You know, it always makes me feel sad when people get into, I don't know, everyone's different, but when people get married and then you find out that their in-laws just don't like them, I'm like, okay, why are you getting into this relationship? I'm not saying you have to marry, like everyone needs to be best friends, but I'm like, there are some major red flags that you should take into account before popping that question. It's like, can I get along with your family, or at least can I be tolerated?

SPEAKER_01 8:16

Yeah, well, unless you're gonna cut your family off, which is a whole different conversation. Yeah, which you know And sometimes you need to, to be honest. That's a different conversation for a different day. But I'm really happy that you got to be around everyone, and I think what was different this time is that you actually got to spend some time because you've met some of these people before.

SPEAKER_04 8:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

And because of like work and just life in Vegas, you didn't have an opportunity to really like connect with them and get to know them. So to be in Minneapolis with really nothing else to do besides spend time, and I will admit, I think it was a bit much for you. Um I have to remember that your social battery isn't conditioned for constant conversation, despite you being, I think out of the two of us, you're the most more talkative person in the relationship. But you don't agree.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

In in what kind of context being around people?

SPEAKER_01 9:04

No, I just think you're talkative in general, like I think you say more words if we're together than I do.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

Really?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

You'd be talking up a storm.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

To you or in general?

SPEAKER_03 9:18

In general.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

I'm saying when we are together between the two of us, you say more words to me than I say to you.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Like one-on-one. Really?

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

Well, that j oh yeah, because actually, you told me about this in the beginning of relationship, and I always felt like I was ranting. And you're like, you're not ranting, you're just going on a dissertation. I don't like, I don't like rambling to you. This is not this is not fun.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

I don't think that you can help it sometimes, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

I can help it. I could be a mute.

SPEAKER_01 9:46

No, I know I don't want you to be mute. What I'm just saying is between you and I in a in a quiet room will say more words than I say. Because I'm usually talked out when I get home. On the flip side of the coin, you can be talkative, but a majority of your day is spent doing whatever you want to do, which could be in solitude, which could be in solace, which could be with friends. But you have a very particular way about going about your daily life. So you don't, you're not in situations where you're constantly talking to people because your job doesn't require you to talk all the time. For my mom and my dad and I, that's all we do. Especially my dad and I, because we're in retail, and my mom because she's always meeting. So it's like we're always talking. So what I didn't realize is that you would be so physically exhausted from the social, from the social output because you are not used to that. You're not, you don't have the endurance for it. And I just felt bad.

SPEAKER_03 10:39

Okay, first and foremost.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

You don't have the endurance, it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 10:42

I don't think that's necessarily true. The only reason why I'll say that is we have to also keep in mind, this is my first time being around effectively strangers. My mother always taught me, don't talk to strangers.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

Okay, let's think about how many people you actually let's think about how many strangers you actually are around.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

What I mean by strangers is like in the context of you knowing everybody and me just being a new guy, I'm basically the stranger. Basically, in a roundabout way.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Anyway, all I'm saying is you are exhausted of talking and socializing, and I found out that we you very much like a baby are on a schedule because every couple hours we need snacks, every couple hours we need tea or coffee or some sort of green smoothie. It was actually necessary.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

Listen to the justice, you're painting me in a very particular light. What is it? Okay, the peep. You said you don't have the endurance to talk. You're kind of like a baby. You need a schedule, you need food, you need sleep and whatnot. We are forgetting that we traveled on a red eye.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

Different time zone.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

And it's not that I was exhausted of talking to people, I was exhausted of listening and taking in information. It's a very specific difference. And also, if I can't engage, it's like everyone's talking, like, oh my god, it's been so many years since I seen you. We're talking about this, we're talking about that. What is this accent? I don't know. It's my best Minnesota accent. And then I'm sitting there, and then I'm like, Yeah, I I haven't been to Minneapolis before. They're like, oh, that's great. Yeah, so anyway, no one did that.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

So you're a liar. You're an absolute liar.

SPEAKER_03 12:32

I'm kidding. But what I was saying, Liz, like, my my the only way that I can um join in on a conversation is by little jokes and quips. Because I'm like, everyone has a relationship and they're talking about certain things that I have. It's not necessarily I have no business jumping in on.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Basically.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Okay, anyway. Lead it to say, we had a great time in Minneapolis. We were supposed to go to Chicago, unfortunately that didn't happen. But we're gonna go in December, so I'm excited about that. And I just realized we're gonna go be there for a wedding anniversary, our second one.

SPEAKER_03 13:08

Look at that. It's already coming up to two years, we are.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

That's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Tell me. This is why I wanted to know, or at least I was avoiding this question in person, so we can talk about it on the podcast. So marriage. What do you think? You've been married for about two years now. When you were a single gal out here in the streets.

SPEAKER_01 13:32

I was never in the streets.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Potato potato. When you think of what your idea of marriage would have been when you were single compared to where it is now, does it exactly match up as to how you thought it was, or is it different and in what kind of way? What I'm saying is, do you regret it? Do you want to return your gifts? Do you want to pawn it? Do you want that? Just tell me. Tell me now, please.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

No, no, no, no. I don't regret it at all. Um this has been, I think we can agree, and then maybe I'm speaking on behalf of you, so you can tell me fuck off, but I think this has been the best time. And I don't I I don't know that I ever had a an idea of what marriage was supposed to be or what was gonna be for me. I think we can all agree that there's a lot of different versions of marriage presented throughout your life, whether it's like fairy tales or what you see on movies or your parents or someone that you know that's been into marriage for a long time, and marriage looks so different for everyone. And I've never been into marriage. So I don't think I could really have said what it was gonna be for me, but uh yeah, I don't I feel like I've been married to you my whole life. I don't feel like I've only been married for you married to you for two years. So yeah, I'm having a great time. What about you?

SPEAKER_04 14:51

It's been the most beautiful time ever why are you doing that?

SPEAKER_03 14:57

No, all just aside, and my hands is really sweating here. This is this is Are you okay?

SPEAKER_01 15:03

My nose is dripping, your hands are sweating. Are we well?

SPEAKER_03 15:05

It's just a a wet time. Anyway, um I like it. Um marriage has been everything I hoped it would be, and so much more, and that can sound corny, but I've told you this. Like I had a a loose understanding of why I wanted in a partner, and you literally created more boxes that I didn't even know that could exist. I didn't know how I would feel, um, I didn't know what being in a secured, loving relationship could look like. Um part of me also felt as though when we get married, I didn't think things were gonna change. But it's something that we always said during our relationship. We always ask each other, are we out of the honeymoon phase? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Yeah, I think you've been asking that more than I have.

SPEAKER_03 16:00

Right, because I'm like, this is just way too good to be true. Something's got to give. You're lying to me, and I'm gonna find out. Or me being like, Am I really am I really built for this? Not to say that I didn't believe that I was boyfriend material or marriage material, but I was just like, this just feels too amazing, and I'm like, okay, it's kind of like will the rug get pulled out from underneath me? We're two years in, and I'm like, this has been the most amazing life I could have ever had, and I have the most amazing partner, wife, solely. There's things I'm thinking in my head I want to say. I'm like, oh, I can't say that on a parker because you're not. But what I'm saying is, I am so grateful for you, and the listeners are probably gonna listen in and like, oh this guy's so mushy. And I'm like, I'm not capping, I'm really not capping. I love this woman. You're my hands are literally dripping in sweat.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Can you put the air on?

SPEAKER_03 17:02

No, no, no, let it ride, let it ride, let it ride. But um, it's it's been perfect, it's been amazing, and I know you say something about like a seven-year itch. Um I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

Four.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

Oh, it starts from when you're in your dating, not from when you get married.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

I think it is married, but I don't know if you get one when you're like just like with the same person for seven years. I gotta look into it, I'm not really sure.

SPEAKER_03 17:25

By the way, we're like four years in ish.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Yeah, we're more like four and a half almost five. Because April will be five.

SPEAKER_03 17:31

Imagine if we get up to seven years and then oh no, we we both work up.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

And we're edging our bodies and we're like, I need something different.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

What are we gonna do? I'll scratch your back, I'll keep the nails long for you, rake that back, baby. Whatever you need.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

It's absolutely not. Okay, okay, okay. You're crazy. Absolutely crazy. Uh well, thanks for that question. We had a good time. We're happy to be back. And um we don't have another break again until January, so I mean, I'll have time off, but you won't.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

So you take all the time you need. I I I we need I need to work. We gotta get things done. I always love coming back from vacation because, like, hey, you had a break, now it's time to get to work.

SPEAKER_01 18:14

I know, but it's always hard to go back to work. Like, yesterday I did not want to go back to work. I was like, can I just not go to work today?

SPEAKER_03 18:20

But then I was trying to I did ask someone, I had a brief moment where you always say, I'm a performer in Vegas, I'm sure y'all know that. Um, but you always ask me, like, and uh other people ask me, Do you ever get tired of doing the same show? And I'm like, Yeah, is it no different from everyone else's nine to five? Y'all, y'all folding the same clothes, now with the same people coming in, or you're making the same sandwiches, or you're looking at the same stock portfolios. Everyone has the same nine to five, you're doing the same thing every day.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

It's not the same.

SPEAKER_03 18:50

Are you sure? Yeah, I think if you if we switch roles, you'll be like, okay, it's no different than everyone else.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

I think if I was a worker, maybe, but I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

You're a boss.

SPEAKER_01 19:03

So I don't do the same thing every day. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:08

You and I are not the same. You got a boss, I am a boss, you got a boss. What did JC say?

SPEAKER_01 19:13

I don't know. I don't know the song that you're singing.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

You're not a boss, you got a boss. Yeah, that's what he said. But anyway, yeah, yeah, okay, so I get it. You're different. You you're a boss, babe. Boss chick.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

I hate that terminology. It's the worst terminology in the world.

SPEAKER_03 19:26

What do you hate more? Boss chick or HBIC?

SPEAKER_01 19:30

HBIC. They're both bad, but anyway, so alright. Any highlights from last week?

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Highlights. Yeah, shout out to Minneapolis. Shout out to Matt's, them loosey gooseys have me right.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Babe, say it right.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Them juicy Lucy's had me right, man. They were absolutely delicious. I will say this though, my body odor has been crazy. The amount of red meat. We didn't, you tried to like come at me just a little bit earlier talking about, oh, you need a nap, you need your greens. I'm like, yeah, when we got out there, it was basically meat and potatoes.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Yeah, that's the Midwest.

SPEAKER_03 20:13

Shout out to the Midwest. I don't think I can live that kind of lifestyle. I need my greens, I need my water.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Technically, Chicago is in the Midwest, also.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

Yeah, but I think but I think you know they'll have greens. Minneapolis has options for greens. We went to a couple different places that had, you know, avocado toast, this and that. But what I'm saying is like we were on our the family timeline. You know, if I'm in Chicago on my ones, I'll definitely get to the greens.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Yeah. Yeah, we didn't have a lot of greens, but that's just what you expect when you are in the Midwest. It's just kind of that. I liked it.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

It was a great time.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

Don't go during the state fair because you really have no greens. Well, you have corn, but that's not really greens because you're just gonna eat cheese curds and cookies and donuts and corn.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

It's a beautiful thing. Shout out to the Midwest. Y'all do that?

SPEAKER_01 21:07

What is that?

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Midwest? No? MW.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

I see what's happening, but I just don't think I like that. And how do your fingers like go that crazy? I don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

I remember when you told me you can't frown. I'm like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 21:29

I can't.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

Okay. Um, highlights, Matt's was great. Seeing your baby pictures.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

All over my grandma's house.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

So beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

In that back room.

SPEAKER_03 21:42

But that's another thing I forgot to tell people. Yo, people in Minneapolis, y'all don't realize how authentic y'all have it. Because I was just like everywhere. This is real wood. Everywhere I was going.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Every house is freaking.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Every house creaking. I'm like, this is we got vinyl out here. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 22:00

it's it's the it's a beautiful thing it's really nice I like that it is it is kind of weird when you think about it but yeah the it's old architecture I think that's a that's part of the reason why Vegas is so hard for me because everything is so new or it was made so recently so there's not any of that like this wood has been in the house for a hundred years and it's never been changed you know um but yeah it was a really good time I I just enjoyed not opening I didn't work at all I deleted all the apps off my phone I didn't do anything while I was gone proud of you and uh thank you it sucks when you come back and you have 400 emails uh to go through but I think everyone needs time to just like disconnect and be away and I wish the weather would have been better but ultimately like it was so nice I think I told my parents I don't know the last time that we had I'd been with them for that long of time because usually I go home for a couple days or a few days but we were together for like eight days straight and I think that's probably the longest time you've also been around my parents.

SPEAKER_03 23:03

Yeah yeah it was a it was a beautiful time I think that it's something I wrote in the card but like like I said I always felt like I kind of married into the family and wasn't like really around um and also because I've got a different schedule to everyone but I've never really had time to just sit down and be like maybe it's because we didn't it's not like I was just on my iPhone the whole time and then hold on okay but what I'm saying is like when you get to connect with people you always have something to distract you or you have work or wherever what have you the fact that I was really around your parents I got to understand them much more and be able to have conversations I'm like oh like even though we're basically four years together I feel like I had a resistant um feeling towards building new family just because of my own personal hang ups or trauma everyone loves a trauma word but um I finally opened myself up to that love that they've always been trying to give me yeah you know and I I'm really grateful. I was like this is the trip that I was like okay this is my family.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Like I really if you would have had a trip where we had spent this much time together earlier on you would have maybe felt included earlier on earlier in the relationship or no probably not only because you know it it's more contingent on me.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

I don't think it's based off of any particular dynamic or environment that would help support that or hop skip jump my own personal um journey emotionally that I need to go through but I will say that I'm here now you know I mean I've always loved your parents they're they're amazing people you know I love you so I also love okay no what I'm saying though is like your parents are your parents are so great because it's like I love you and I know every single aspect of you yeah but seeing you in parent form and two different people I'm just like yo this these are the people that I actually love like it's it makes sense. So um that's we no I I really do love you people I who would have thought I love my in-laws like that I'm glad that you do they're pretty great they're fantastic they're pretty great all right well what do we got on the docket today do you want to talk love is blind it is it pains me to talk about this show.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

It is the worst it Love is Blind used to be a show that I really enjoyed I think the last good season was a season that had um Kwame and Chelsea and Bliss and Zach and Brett Brett and what was her name I can't remember it.

SPEAKER_03 25:54

I don't remember people's names anyway like that.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

And then yeah that was the best season like the la the last best season besides the first season and then everything since then has just been awful.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

Now hold on a second because at first when we saw that they slide open and Love is blind to different like countries then the UK was good. The first season of the UK was this is great because there was an element of like oh we're actually like having different kinds of conversations getting to know one another and it's not in a superficial way and really being intentional maybe had something to do with culture different environment or then being slightly older but it was like yo this is a great season.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

That was great and then second season UK came out and we didn't even watch it because it was so bad. What was bad about it though okay so the people I don't know who's in charge of casting but whoever is needs to get fired because they're god awful at our jobs. Why though these people that they're bringing on the show are just boring they've got nothing they have no sustenance they have no personalities they're just boring boring boring boring boring boring just boring I I can't wholeheartedly agree with that because most people are boring I don't think so though I don't think that most people are boring. I think that you can cast I I'm not I never have casted anyone for a show I'm not in charge so I'm not an expert here but I think the same thing is true with hiring it's like sometimes people can get you right like oh they turned it up in this casting interview and they really you know show that they have personality then they get on TV and then they're like scared so I get that that could be part of it. That probably is about 30% of the total group so I'll give you three out of 10 people that are just trash because they got you.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

The other 70% you have you need to be better pickers of who's going on TV. You gotta look okay I guess yeah but I also think that part of it is like because it's a like a love reality TV whatever show you have to be able to understand okay I'm casting these people in relation to one another so it's not like I'm just gonna cast these girls and I'm gonna cast these guys and then let's like put them in a social experiment. There has to be some level I would assume of like okay we've c I don't know if they cast the girls first or the guys first they cast like a few guys and they go cast a few girls but there has to be a level of like okay is there compatibility here is there does the personalities do they mesh because you're trying to my idea is that you essentially would want as many people to get married as possible or to make it to the very end so that more people stay engaged and like watch it and then therefore there's like more excitement about the following seasons of Low is blind but I don't feel like they've been they've been missing the mark. This season is so bad. It is so bad. Two girls left so far and we're not even caught up I we can barely even get through episodes we fall asleep every single second.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

Yeah by the time this episode drops I think the wedding episode will be airing oh my god and no one's gonna get married everyone's saying no everyone there's not gonna be a single married couple out of this season I will guarantee you that right now imagine if they all get married that'll be wild well we would have to watch the rest of the season I don't will we watch yeah we can but we're gonna have to like fast forward it like I can't I actually can't sit through watching I can't put on two times speed I I will say I will say though it depends on where they're like costing from I I think that they're costing from Colorado they're in Denver Denver which is a major city so yeah but but I'm also just interested in the demographics because the show is very homogeneous.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

It's a bunch of white people on there is that what you're saying like everyone's white and I'm like yeah but I get that you're in Colorado but it weren't we don't live in like they're not in like Nova Scotia.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

What's what's dude's name Asian dude's name Patrick and then what's the Asian girl's name?

SPEAKER_01 30:00

I can't remember her name.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Well and uh the girl who left look and Anna because he called her Anna remember you see you see how you be I think I think I don't know I think you're right I think you're right but what I'm saying though is even though there wasn't a lot of people of color there was at least one conversation that I was hoping that they would experience which is when you live in a city with a very homogeneous community what is what does that look like i e as a person of colour with a whole bunch of white people around you how do you date and I was so happy that with their conversations we actually got some kind of insight as to what I guessed how people would be feeling i you know like you know I I've you I've typically dated like white girls and you know I if I saw someone Asian you know it isn't just someone that I'm quite interested in and then her on her side was like yeah you know like if you if if if I would have saw you I wouldn't really be interested I'm like but then they kept saying that when they found out okay also can we just talk about the fact that they were talking about their race I'm like you guys the whole point of this show is that you don't know what someone looks like.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

So knowing someone's race is kind of an antithesis of the entire show because if you know someone's Asian and you don't typically date Asians you've ruined it.

SPEAKER_03 31:28

Yeah but also at the same time at what point can your race or ethnicity be a part of your personality or your culture? At what point does that play like a factor in like I'm not gonna be up here and be like if I'm in a if I'm dating someone I'm gonna pretend that I'm not black so that they can see me for who I am like what?

SPEAKER_01 31:46

No no no no no my blackness is intrinsically you don't need to pretend that you're not something point being is if someone says hey what do you look like like for example that the hairdresser lady I don't even remember her name Caitlin or something or I don't know something and Patrick she was like forcing him to tell her what his ethnicity was and I'm like because you're so hung up that you're not dating a white guy who's attractive and has a bunch of social media followers you need to prepare yourself to see him when he opens when that door opens like it just it just feels very icky. I don't like it and I don't think that this has happened on other seasons. Like for example when Ogirl what is her name remember when the girl said she looked like Megan Fox yeah okay obviously she didn't we don't need to be saying like who we look like it just it it doesn't support the experiment. The experiment is is love blind if you're blind you don't see someone's ethnicity so I don't understand why now we think it's okay to like start trickling in ethnicity and race and having conversations. I think you can have a conversation about how race might have impacted your experience growing up and dating and then let people believe and think what they want to believe and think. Like you need to leave some room for the imagination my mom always said this growing up I think the same is true for the show. The whole point is to not know.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Yeah I'm yeah I I'm I agree with you.

SPEAKER_03 33:14

So what I'm saying then is that the integrity of the show is in question now because they're letting people have these conversations I think that the Love is blind production team are like hey we win regardless whether or not people get married don't get married follow the rules don't follow the rules it's downhill I don't think I want to watch anymore. Okay you say that but what but imagine if they did love is blind in Miami or Love is blind in California in LA or New York or something oh can you imagine New York well it would be better than this yo dead ass yo he's bugging that was a horrible that's horrible I apologize anyway I just hate this season and I think it's so bad I don't think anyone's gonna get married I cannot deal with old women calling themselves sparkle anything um that's an unpopular opinion I just it's like a Disney adult and sorry if that's you but I I just I don't understand tying your personality so much so to something that is not within so I'm like yeah yeah do your thing sparkle megin um hopefully she finds love I don't think that this guy's gonna work out for her I think she is a tie I think she has an unhealthy attachment to her de her dad's diabetes death and is now trying to attach the same sort of connection to this guy's kid.

SPEAKER_01 34:47

I I just there's a lot to unpack in this season and I I really don't like it. Um so yeah I I'm not into it and that's it.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

I don't like it throw it away put it in the trash wrap it up no I well but that's what I'm saying I I think it's good for us as the viewers to watch what does it take in order to really find your connection with someone or like I just think the concept first of all to find somebody in 10 to 11 days by the way when these people are saying okay I knew that I loved you in 10 to 11 days and I you sweetheart but I would never tell you I would wait until you tell me first you dropped me okay but what I'm saying though is like what does it take in order to find the person that you actually love or respect or what what are the the pillars that constitutes to you being in a great relationship to be able to see that I think it's an interesting experiment and obviously some people have been continued to stay married it works. I don't think everyone approaches it the same and I think us as viewers we can be looking at something and be like what the fuck are you looking at like oh sorry not looking at looking for yeah yeah but I I think the whole for their relationship the whole diabetes thing I'm like that could be a very real thing for some people sure maybe I was being a bit insensitive but I don't I don't I think it's fair. I mean I personally I I don't know what's to come of their relationship with her with the dude with the tattoos but you know maybe their love sparkles and that's why you know it's gonna work out for them I just don't love sparkles you're insane I'm just saying everybody deserves love and everyone has their things that they're looking for and hopefully you can find that in another person. So here's the real question do you think that there's not a lot of marriages that have lasted from love is blind so could one make the assertion that love is not blind I think love is blind but that can't be the only sense you can't say love is deaf. You know what I mean? Because you can be listening to certain things and just be like yeah yeah I'm only paying attention to what you look like you sometimes you gotta listen to yourself also love is love is blind love is deaf let love is what's another sense numb you need to take all your senses is to make sure is this person the person for me.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Yeah I don't know I I don't I mean based on the show's track record clearly love is blind for some and not for others and I don't think I think the experiment um doesn't do the the aftermath any justice because love can be blind in the process like in the pods sure but then love isn't blind anymore because now you're with that person and you have all your senses and then if you choose to say married after the fact like obviously there's things that come up in in any marriage but uh I I don't think it's truly I don't think it's truly blind to your point. I think you have to be able to I think there are parts of of love that can be blind and I think that it also can lead you down a really slippery slope if you only allow love to be blind.

SPEAKER_03 38:03

Or only look at look for side things.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

Yeah I think that the premise of the show of like when you're dating people you should not probably not always go for your type and like open up your blinders to see like outside of your purview is important and I think that getting to know somebody through conversations sets the foundation for a really great relationship because it starts with like a friendship first and then you get to know somebody and you actually generally want to know who they are and there's not this opportunity for like physical connection too soon but also that's not the only thing that matters.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

Yeah I I completely agree I I just I don't I don't know I I'm I don't think you can ethically and properly jump into a romantic relationship if you don't have a sense of self you know and I don't think that there's a lot of people that go throughout life don't have the access to get therapy or know who they are as a person you know I mean I I I just don't think that and also at the same time they're dating multiple people there's there's there are some people that say you will never be able to jump into a real relationship if you're dating multiple people at the same time you gotta do like a like a one car garage situation maybe I don't car garage I hate to like ball down I had a friend of mine that was like yeah when I date someone it's it's my car one car garage I don't know really look like it that's besides the point but what I'm saying though is it just comes down to it I don't think it needs to be complicated does it work do we work together or do we not work together? Yeah fair well I don't think any one of these people works together so we'll find out shortly we'll see on the next episode of open marriage podcast I was gonna say love is blind what well next time we have that episode it will so we'll find out we'll find out anyway I really wish love is blind would get better like I said let's just wait for let's wait for a major city but they haven't done one before I don't think they're like podunk towns maybe they can have a love is blind Minneapolis well they already had one they did yes yes was that the first season no that was the one before this one huh you don't remember no remember nothing everyone was white okay so we we so we okay I think that's what it is maybe it's love is blind is great for a lot of people the a homogenous community I'm saying for us we need to see some black people up in there just or like any like all like the world doesn't look like that so you can yeah but if you grow up in color like Denver and everyone's gonna be a byproduct of what it's like to live in Denver you know I mean so it's like you're not gonna love is blind earth.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Yeah but we I think that there just needs to be a better and maybe they don't have people that are auditioning or whatever that are like multicultural like multiracial but then we need to go find them.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Yeah but who wants to go on a relationship show people will yeah but what you were saying like you have to have a Brett and Kwame both win. But you have to have a specific mindset and by mind you I think Kwame auditioned for another show right before I'm pretty sure I saw I'm not gonna say roll the clip but I'm pretty sure I saw him like auditioning for something else so he was already in the headspace of not saying that he's just trying to get on television but trying to take a different approach towards being in a relationship which I'm like cool think outside the box it's not just all about sure being on hinge and e-harmony you know I mean there's there's e-harmony I'm just saying or farmers meet what I'm saying is you have to have a but a particular mindset in order to be like I want to be in a relationship not only that I want to put my put my shit on blast in front of millions of people on Netflix like yeah fair people want to be silent with this I just we just need better casting that's all that's the N trend well here's the next season hopefully I don't even know when they announced the city on the meet like this I don't remember what I think it was it's Denver Minneapolis and I don't remember the season the where we were before that Charlotte Charlotteville Charlotte was the one that had um Jimmy Megan Fox what's her face uh Jessica remember the girls when you see me yeah um who else is on that season how do you remember that they're from Charlotte like what because they because they they were talking about going going being in Charlotte and like going to the bars in Charlotte well what remember that one guy who was like found the girl he was dating the one girl then he met up with the other girl at the bar in the parking lot and he tried to lie about it remember yeah they're in Charlotte but that's as far as I can remember I don't know what happened before I don't remember where we were before that lovers buying production we're looking for major cities New York Chicago Los Angeles Wales they do already did they already did Seattle they did Seattle that's where Brett um and Kwame and Chelsea are all from okay yeah less and Zach um do Florida I'd love to see how how Floridians but like not Orlando yeah oh don't do because they would do that they do that they go to the city that's like not South Florida and then the rest just go to South Florida no disrespect palm West Palm what else Florida then Miami 305 to Ladai shout out anyway it just has to be a major city yeah cool I'm with that

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 44:02

So what's next? What's next? What are we talking about? You want to get into some what the social media streets are saying?

SPEAKER_01 44:08

So I have a tick so much because I need an app.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

It's like me being in Minneapolis.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

Yeah, I'm like suddenly tired.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

I didn't realize this conversation was boring you.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

It's not boring me.

SPEAKER_03 44:18

So you know me. I'm trying to be hip. I'm trying to be in the nail. Sometimes I go on social media and I see what what are people talking about, especially when it comes to relationships. Came across a video about someone talking about the difference between the treatment that you give a boyfriend or girlfriend versus someone that is a potential fiance or husband andor wife. What do you think about that?

SPEAKER_01 44:40

It's a very vague question. What do you think about it?

SPEAKER_03 44:43

If someone says, I'm not gonna give you wifey husband treatment if you're my boyfriend slash girlfriend, I'm like, how will they know that there's all there's a maybe those people should go and love is blind because they're ready to be married right now. They want to skip the whole process of building up to that. But I'm like, you need to be able to know whether someone's husband or wifey material from the jump. You can't, I'm gonna withhold these things for my husband or wife. I'm not I'm not saying go broke for these people. When we started dating, okay, did you say anything about me that you're like, you're not you're my boyfriend, I'm not gonna treat you like you're my husband, so I'm gonna withhold these. Okay, why not?

SPEAKER_01 45:26

I'm not somebody who withholds things, I'm not like those other like women who are like, well, he isn't doing these things, so I'm not gonna have sex. I'm like, we don't withhold sex, like this is not punishment. It to me, and all I'm saying is like, to me, it's just it's in the same line of conversation around like I withhold things to get what I want, or I withhold things until you show me that you're worthy. And I think the conversation needs to be like, you need to choose somebody that's worthy of you.

SPEAKER_03 45:54

But how do you know someone's worthy of being chosen to share these things if you don't get to know them or date them?

SPEAKER_01 46:02

Well, you need to be able to know them and date them. So I I would say to these people that are saying, like, oh, I'm not gonna treat you like this because you need like you can't, if you want to be married, you unfortunately have to put yourself out there to a point where you could get hurt or you could give more than you receive. And it's the res it's the responsibility of the person who is seeking out marriage or giving this effort and energy to determine how far they're willing to go before if things aren't being reciprocated, they leave. And I think people try to safeguard themselves when it comes to love to to like say, like, okay, I'm only gonna give you this much because if I do more and then you take from me, then you don't give to me, then I look like an asshole. And it's like sure, but you're never gonna get where you want to go because you're not willing to be vulnerable and open yourself up to possibility.

SPEAKER_03 46:55

Yeah, I I remembered someone uh told me that like in order to like truly love someone, you need to be like you need to have some vulnerability, you need to be open to that aspect. I don't know, I I think it sounds good, you know. When people are trying to do like trying to have a hot take, I'm like, yeah, you s it sounds good, it sounds salacious, but at the same time, it doesn't make any sense and it has no rhyme or reason. I'm like, because if you're saying that you don't want to treat someone as husband or wifey material, does that mean that you yourself are not husband or wifey material? Do you expect to get to that point spontaneously out of nowhere? That it really makes no sense to me whatsoever.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

Yeah, I I I don't agree with that mindset, and I don't I think that that's why those people are still single, if I'm being honest.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

Well, no, that they're in relationships, but they're just not being married.

SPEAKER_01 47:46

But you're in relationship, they're single on a tax return. That's why you're not married though, is because you're trying to it's creating conditions around a love that when you're married just shouldn't have conditions.

SPEAKER_03 47:57

Okay, bar. Are you sure you're not like a licensed like relationship expert or something like that? I would love to be, actually. Really?

SPEAKER_01 48:06

Yeah, like a marriage and payment therapist.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

I think you could help a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 48:10

I think that I have the right personality for it. Just gotta go back to school for two more years and get a degree.

SPEAKER_03 48:17

It's funny enough. I know this is like a slight segue, but this kind of ties into um this movie that I was watching on my way back, on the way back from uh Minneapolis, The Materialist. You I wasn't expecting you to watch it. No. If anybody's watched this movie, it is very Kevin Samuels coded.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Your favorite.

SPEAKER_03 48:38

Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I will not take it.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Larry used to watch Kevin Samuels' YouTube videos for five.

SPEAKER_03 48:45

We all used to watch Kevin. I can watch it.

SPEAKER_01 48:48

I didn't even know who he was until you told me about him.

SPEAKER_03 48:51

Well, you're just pure-hearted, aren't you? You just don't know nothing.

SPEAKER_04 48:56

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

Look, either way, in the movie The Materialist, they were talking about she was uh so the premise is there's a matchmaker who is able to find single eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. They have a company and they basically pair people together. It's like you you come across, say you have a friend named Cindy, and you're like, Okay, Cindy, I have this guy named Greg who is you know a great casual, where what have you. Cindy's like, yeah, but I need a guy that's a triple six, they need to be the mark of the beast, they need to be at least six foot, six figures, six pack, you know, all that kind of stuff. And so that person would be like, okay, well, they're not six foot, but they're five ten. They don't have six figures, but they make a decent like income. I think you should give them a try. There's a lot of people that have non-negotiables when they go into relationships, but then when they start dating, they realize, oh, these non-negotiables that they had might not have necessarily been necessary. But what I'm saying is, as far as like what it takes to like go into a relationship or in this movie, I'm like, dude, I thought this was red pill coded, and I feel like maybe more people have those feelings. Is it pink pilled? Is it pink pilled? I don't know, cause because girls are it's it's the red pill version for girls.

SPEAKER_01 50:25

I don't know, but when it comes to very gendering.

SPEAKER_03 50:29

I know, but maybe we're much more conservative when it comes to relationships than we anticipate.

SPEAKER_01 50:36

You and I?

SPEAKER_03 50:37

No, I'm saying the general public.

SPEAKER_01 50:40

Probably.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

I don't know. It was a slight segue. I just just love about that movie again.

SPEAKER_01 50:46

Yeah, no, not my kind of movie to watch. But yeah, I don't think I want to be matchmaker. But I I do think um, yeah, it's unfortunate. I think a lot of how we are how we are brought up in our own experiences within relationships whether being cheated on, or like there's been infidelity, or there's been a baby that's been procreated in a relationship, like outside of a relationship, or just like domestic violence, or abusive language, or just like life in general, things can get difficult. And so I think over time it just shapes the way that you see relationships. And so you try again, you try to safeguard yourself. Like love is such a um, it's such a like revealing thing to do. Like, you've got to like shut back your layers and be like, hey, here I am. Like, you're gonna see me when I look like shit, and you're gonna see me when I look great, and I'm gonna not always be my best, but like, are you still gonna love me? And can I still show up for you? And do I still have empathy for you, even if you're my last nerve? And I don't think that many people are willing to do that because it would it does require like a level of I could get hurt at any point in time, but I'm okay with doing that. And that's not like that doesn't feel good for most people. We're not that's not our natural instinct to just be like wide open.

SPEAKER_03 51:57

I think you showed me uh in the beginning of our relationship the the benefits of being vulnerable. Typically, if I felt vulnerable, I'm scared, I shy away, I move away from what that perceived danger is. But you showed me what it's like to be vulnerable with someone, still be scared, but still moving forward because you trust in your connection with that person, and that has a way bigger payoff than anything. Yeah, and I'm not saying this isn't my call to arms to anybody that's out there trying to date and be like, hey, you need to be vulnerable and make an arse out of yourself and get yourself hurt. I am not saying that, but what I am saying is those parts of yourself that you're trying to keep protected and vulnerable, it might not need protection for someone that has your best interests at heart, they can surprise you and really make you feel even more supported.

SPEAKER_01 52:48

Yeah, yeah. And the thing about it is again, it's just like I said, in the Love is Blind casting, there's like I think there's about, and this is my own personal opinion, this is not based on statistics or facts, but I think about 30% of the time you can get duped. I do believe that. So you might think someone has all the signs and they might show up really strongly in the first like six months, and then you get together and you're like, okay, this is not at all the person I thought I was gonna be with, and that's okay, like there's something learned in all relationships, but that's where you have to use like discernment, the skill of discernment, to be like, okay, actually these skill sets that I once saw are no longer being reflected. If I tell the person what I need, they don't listen to me, or they're not making changes, or we can't come to common understanding, then I've got to bounce. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 53:32

But what about the people that have felt like they've invested a lot of time in a relationship, and if they were to pull out now, it would be a waste of time.

SPEAKER_01 53:41

It's we already you're wasting time thinking about that question.

SPEAKER_03 53:46

But you're still like, so what you're saying, like the moment that you feel like something can't be like isn't right, you should just leave.

SPEAKER_01 53:54

If you believe that the person that you're with current state isn't if there's no common ground to be found, or there's no way for you guys to get back to one another, or it will never be what you want it to be, and you voice those concerns, then I I do think that it probably is time for you to leave. And time is gonna go on regardless. It's the same thing of like someone being like, I'm gonna go back to school in like five years from now. Five years is gonna come and go. Whether you're in school in five years or you're in school now, time is still gonna happen. So you're just prolonging the inevitable, or you're prolonging what could be your happiness, or you're prolonging what what is your sadness, or your up your anger. So it's like, I don't know. It is, I think it is human nature to hold on and hope. I think we I think many of us believe that there is good in most people and that they can change. And I think that that's true for a lot of people. However, I also think that it's true that sometimes she just doesn't work out and you gotta move on. So sticking around is like, who is it hurting more? That person or you or everyone around you, and what matters the most.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

I'm thinking of that. Um, you know, because I'm a millennial, I've seen memes, but I'm thinking of like memes.

SPEAKER_01 55:01

Can we just be done with memes?

SPEAKER_03 55:03

No, I I've seen that like depiction of like someone holding like a tug of war, and it's like these these problems that are on the opposite end, they're pulling your hand and like they're burning the they're pulling the rope and it's like burning your hand, and it's like sometimes it causes more pain to hold on rather than to let go. Yeah, but I don't but it's like it really comes down to each individual person to decide when is it time to let go? Because some people would be like, I've got the bandwidth to hold on forever, I will hold on to this forever. And I'm like, And that's fine, sure. You can, you can, but should you? Would you want to? What's the benefit of this? I don't know, food for thought.

SPEAKER_01 55:50

Yeah. Gotta let go at some point.

SPEAKER_02 55:55

Well, we're getting really deep in here. We it this is the first episode back. We it's this calorically dense conversation right here.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

Yeah, but that's relationships, you know? And uh no no one can tell you when it's time to let go. You have to know in in your heart of hearts, you know?

SPEAKER_04 56:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 56:14

I just want to be that person at the like at the nursing home, hopefully I'm not there, but when I'm old and like gray and like, you know, whatever, I'm like at the end of my life, saying, like, man, I really wish that when I was this age, I would have let go because I would have been able to do these things. Like, who wants to sit back and have regrets? And I think naturally you're gonna wish you would have done something different or took a different path, or in hindsight, you might feel like I could have done this differently, but not when it comes to who you choose to love and like what kind of relationships you choose to be in. It's just why. Yeah, I hate you, but then again, not everyone gets to experience a love like this. So they might not know what's possible.

SPEAKER_03 56:52

Something else I came across on TikTok is um your girl, um Shan. Shan, Shan Rudram. Very good, yeah. Shadow. She actually was on a couple episodes of what was that? Um Too Hot to Handle. Yeah. Um, and she was talking to Belief in Fatherhood. I'm surprised I even remember. I don't know who that is. This is a guy, this is a um the couple that remember when I showed you it's like Demon Baby.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:21

And he and the baby's like just mean mugging everyone. Yeah. Okay, so I didn't know that they had a podcast, but there was a conversation that they had on their podcast that they later talked about jumping into uh Shan Boudram's podcast of like, does marriage have to be hard? I mean, I feel like we already answered our question because this marriage hasn't been hard.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

Here's the thing, and we have only been married for two years, so the people who are out there are gonna be like, you just wait till you're married for 25 years, and I'm sure we will go through something, I'm sure. Or things. But my point being, because I saw something similar on my TikTok, but not the same interview, is that like marriage isn't hard, life is hard. So I life is in throw a lot of things at you. Marriage is just like the thing that you are now in because you've signed papers saying that your husband and wife are husband and husband and wife and wife are what have you. But life is gonna get hard and things are gonna happen. So I think if your marriage has already got some cracks, it might appear that the marriage is difficult when in reality it's just that life is difficult in that moment. And maybe that my opinion will change once I've lived some more life as a married person, but that's what I think right now.

SPEAKER_03 58:39

So you're telling me in this marriage there hasn't been any hard aspects that made you go like, oh, this is kind of hard, but I'm up for the task, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 58:48

Yeah, living in Vegas, of course. I mean, that's the hardest thing I've it's literally there's hard dirt outside, it's the hardest thing I had to do.

SPEAKER_03 58:54

It's hard water.

SPEAKER_01 58:55

Yeah, I mean hard water, hard air, hard dirt, just a hard life. You know? Right.

SPEAKER_03 59:06

Shout out, Jigger Man.

SPEAKER_01 59:08

Uh yeah, I think moving from you is probably the biggest, like the hardest thing I've had to do. And we I moved here before I was married to you, so I don't know that I could say like in marriage that was the hardest thing, but I do think not being in a major city or being somewhere that I love to live has been difficult. But you make the most of it. There's sacrifices that you make so that you can be people that you love, and it's temporary, so I'm hearing what makes a marriage hard is the aspect or sacrifices.

SPEAKER_03 59:44

Compromises. I don't know if that's hard. Well, I'm saying, in a sense, for me, like I would say that what could make compromises or sacrifices hard is if you're not willing to relinquish or letting go of control of what makes you what made you comfortable prior to being in a marriage. So for example, there's a lot of I mean it doesn't feel like it per se, but there's a lot of things that I've had to sacrifice in order to be in this relationship, and they these aren't sacrifices that I wasn't willing to let go.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:21

Like for for example, what?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:23

Okay, first of all, just having my own space. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love you, and I love being all up under you, being on top of you.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:34

Okay, relax.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:36

But what I'm saying is there's an aspect of like I didn't have to answer to no one, I could just have a dirty house. Have a dirty house, nail clippings on the rug, nail clippings on the rug.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:46

Give me more poop smears in the toilet.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:49

Sure, even though you're really making me sound like I was a slob before this.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:53

Ishes in the sink.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:54

Okay, we can stop right there.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:55

But what I'm saying is inspired beans in the pantry.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:58

I had to let go of these sacrifices in order to be in this marriage.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:03

Laundry that wasn't folded.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:04

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

Or hung up in hampers for years. It's not fastidie. Okay, anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:10

You're hilarious. You are funny. But what I'm saying is Okay, so what else?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:14

I want to keep hearing these things. They're actually the good for me. What other sacrifices do you have to make? Because I think I took you out of squalor, but it's fine. Like you have a nice home that's gonna be. Okay, hold on. 675, black mold, asbestos, cockroaches, scorpions, a crazy landlord. Oh who else? Look, all of that- A neighbor who died next door.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:53

Um, that did happen, didn't it?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:55

Yeah. Okay, so the ceiling coming down, the AC really not working.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:59

Well I'm saying is before being in a marriage, I was comfortable with these things that you're gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:06

No sunlight, no sunlight in the apartment.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:07

You might not have been comfortable with those things.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:09

Springs coming out of the couch, cutting my butt cheek. Oh, God. So the thing about it is like for people that are out there listening, there is no argument you can make about where you live, except for the fact that you're upset that you pay double the price.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:22

But I would say there's a reality before being in a relationship to the reality now being in a marriage.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:29

But that doesn't sound like a sacrifice to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:31

That sounds like it's a it's a trade-off. You said under no circumstances, so that's a sacrifice that I have to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:38

It's not a sacrifice because you, first of all, I didn't let's not forget, you left Vegas to go to Miami, and you left I I sacrificed my regular job that I had the place that I was performing at for eight plus years.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:52

I sacrificed that for the betterment of, of course, myself, but really for the relationship.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:58

No, for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:00

Everything I did, this relationship, this marriage is in of benefit of myself. It's a very selfish thing. This relationship, this marriage has elevated me. I had to sacrifice who I was before in order to get there. I think it would be hard to be. However, you want to shed, relinquish, insert any synonyms in here. But what I'm saying is, in order for us to be in a marriage, there's some aspects of yourself that you have to let go. There's some people that are like, I'm not willing to compromise on anything. This is who I am for the rest of my days. You either get with it or get lost. Cool, fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:40

Like wearing skinny jeans.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:42

You can okay, we we get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:44

I was having fun.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:46

I was horrible before.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:47

No, you're horrible. But I think what I'm just trying to understand is like, was it a sacrifice or was it a glow up?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

Is you done or is you finished? I think it's semantics at this point.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:02

No, I'm just asking.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:03

It depends on the vantage point. That's what I was saying. I think a sacrifice is where you are now looking back as opposed to where you're from where you were there and then looking forward. It's like the difference between hindsight and foresight. Sacrifice is looking back to what you lost or had to let go of. But then if you're moving from where you were at before to where you are now, it's not a sacrifice, it's a it's like a glow up or a trade-off or an upgrade. We have another grade yet. Okay, I knew it was coming. It's a Jay-Z. It's a Jay-Z kind of day. We're gonna play Jay-Z a little bit. Maybe I should play a little bit in the background.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:41

No, mm-mm. Okay, anyway. So what other I'm just curious, can you give me one more um sacrifice that you had to make?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:49

Well, being single, being out having 80 women. I I haven't had 80 sexual partners. I've gotten 13. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:05

Remember, I named them all in the bed the other night?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:07

You haven't named them all.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

I know I named 13 of them.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:10

You you you named what I told you. By the way, that's another conversation. Should partners be letting each other know their their number or their list of sexual partners? I heard Cam Newton asked for their a list of their girlfriend's partners or something like that. I'm like, I don't even know. A list?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:28

Well, the thing about it is like the list isn't really gonna do much for you because you don't know these people's names. Like if you if you tell any on paper, it wouldn't really do anything for you unless you're like messing with like celebrities, and I guess maybe you would know who they are, but I luckily for you I haven't done anything with any celebrities, so yeah, but you've done things with people that I've met also. Have I?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:48

Yeah. Which is fine. We've talked about it before. But you know, I'm like I'm dating. I married you. That's

SPEAKER_01 1:06:00

has no jurisdiction on but I think it's kind of cool because I like to know I like to know um I just like to know some stories like you have to remember I you have lived a uh more robust adult life than I lived apparently a life of squalor too you did live in a life of squalor but it was out of um it was out of sacrifice so that you would have more funds to do the things that you wanted to do which I can I can respect that um but I think that knowing about like certain partners is just like kind of fun not that I want to know like the intimate details but it it is nice to make up some things about your partner and then see if it's actually true. You know like the 80 ladies thing no it's not true.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:48

Okay well I think it is and I ask you would you look at me differently no I wouldn't but you but you're moving off the presumption that I have been with a women I don't okay honestly I don't think it's 80.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:02

I think it's between 55 and 65 but it's more fun to round it up I can hear someone in the comments right now that nigga got a dirty dick no it's not dirty we've we've checked it we checked it I I don't play I don't play around yeah we neither one of us have played ever I don't even allow people to put their mouth on me like that sometimes okay that was in the past yeah in the pause yeah I was very like I don't know what your mouth has been okay anyway but even still that's not to say anything bad about the women I'm just saying I I've just been I try to ethically date and be active responsibly yeah you did you did a great job um but yeah so I just think it's more of like a fun thing that I do it's not I just like to poke fun because I know that you're like there's no way that this girl really believes that it's an 80 and it's just a kind of a fun narrative to like run with and eventually I'll find out more names as the years go on.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:06

We've been together for four years we I have 13 names to my grave taking into my grave I've told you way too much because I know names which is also crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:16

Why did I tell you I know but I like it anyway I'll it'll keep coming and do you know what maybe this is another maybe this is another point in relationships like how strong is your bond or your relationship with your partner that you feel comfortable to talk about past partners sex capades.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:32

Sex capades sure yeah well it's it's in the past like I'm not gonna be like oh my god hi how could you how could you ever there's some people that that would be like are you are you kidding me that's never gonna happen sure but I think that if that was the case we would have had this conversation prior to getting married and it wasn't important. I've also been shamed in a body count conversation in a previous relationship and how many people you got on your list yeah just kidding basically and I'm like why does it matter who I've been with previous to you if you like me for who I am well I in my red pill days one could surmise yeah what's the red pill number one it more than one if you're not a virgin get out of it really can you be born again or no no no and you can't switch to another religion and trying to baptize that you know what let me not say something egregious.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:32

Yeah but so in the Red Pull community like what how how many sexual partners can a woman have before she's deemed disposable I I don't think they have I don't think that they have a particular number I think it's they definitely about the mentality okay so for example so if it's like more than 20 if you if you had more than 20 people be like okay so what is she a whore? Now I don't think that if you've had more than 20 sexual partners you're deemed as a whore I don't think that right but it depends on how you got those 20 numbers if you got five numbers in one night whore yeah but if you're like that's the red pill of thought that's the red pill well I mean is that the red pill thought do you if you think so okay I I feel like this is a slippery slope.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:26

Slippery slop. Yeah I'm not gonna comment about how many partners someone can have before it's deemed something like do your thing. If you want to engage like hopefully you're safe and you protect yourself and all these things but um I was just curious if there was like a number floating in the community of like if you marry a girl she's gotta have less than this number for it to be appropriate.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:44

There probably is but I I got out of that um that community before I I knew all the rules and regulations because most of those dudes are talking out of their arse essentially.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:57

Yeah yeah well anyway I like to just play those games sometimes late at night where I just ask you questions and then you just like sometimes I can get you to share more information it's a very particular kind of night that we have to be having for you to share more information. And then every now and again I like to just summarize what I've remembered and learned. It's a good check and verify system that I've got going on.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:18

What are you trying to do? You trying to make a a database so it'd be like look at all these people this is who you were with no no no it's just in my head because I don't I didn't know you before I knew you so that was a very I had to sacrifice who I was before. Sacrifice your body um the one lady no I had to upgrade to you you're welcome not to say that the previous women weren't great or anything like that. I'm I'm just saying I I just had to uh look at me adjusting even I just had to no I'm just saying you know I mean like I am grateful that I have you in my life right now and you you're worth you you you can't even quantify you can't even qualify what it's like to be married to you you you're literally everything thanks I'm off the hook um what else I think we've hit our time babe I know we've hit our time it's definitely been at least an hour you want to be done with this podcast yeah we got things to do okay yeah I agree I think we got things to do well I appreciate you baby we're back wait other hands handhug we're back baby we're back great job um we we're a little rusty I think in our transition so we'll get better at that and we'll have some more flow to the podcast we're trying to work on like having a framework but not having an agenda that's too tight so I think I can do some work to kind of get it flowing just get it get it flowing in the right direction but we'll be back next week for another pod.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:08

Sunday's our day to record so we're gonna stick to it and we're gonna keep it going.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:14

Yeah happy spooky season happy spooky season this is gonna be great maybe for the next episode we can actually be dressed up in our costumes oh god I don't even this is the thing about it is like I don't even know what I'm what costume you got me.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:28

Is it the pink Power Ranger?

SPEAKER_03 1:13:29

Do you want to be the pink Power Ranger?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:31

No I don't know color I don't know which one's good.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:33

They're all good.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:35

No which one is not good I don't know I never watched it and I don't really know anyway you just tell me what to wear and I'll wear it. If you want me to wear my costume I'll put it on she do as I say.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:47

Okay this is when we have to exit stage left I love you let's have a great week I love you a lot of cool things happening this week yeah a lot of lada a lot of I'm excited for it yeah I'll just yeah um the next episode is gonna be amazing because we got a lot of updates a lot of updates yeah a lot of updates a lot of things to share and we can't wait for you to tune in we'll see you later bye bye that was a great first episode huh great job you wanna get outside yes we need something let's get smoothies