Happy Holidays from Us to You!

Consider this episode a holiday special!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Thirsty boy huh? We had no water today. You never do. Never drink water. Why is it that men never drink water? Is it like a genetic thing or like what's if you had a genetic thing? Yeah, like why you why do men not want to drink water? I don't know. Am I being punked? Okay, be honest. How many men in your life?

unknown 0:52

Many men.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

Many many men.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

How many men in your life drink water consistently throughout the day? Name the men that drink water consistently that you've seen drink water.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

Zach drinks water. He drinks a lot of water.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Okay, name one person that you hang out with on a regular basis. I don't I don't need what's your next matter. No one w no one no men if you disagree with me, please share. But based on my lived experience at home with my dad and with you, no one drinks water.

SPEAKER_03 1:31

It's like in that movie, uh no, that TV show shrinking, how um she was always trying to get Harrison's fool to drink water.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Correct.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Like, I I I don't need water, I need silence and peace.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

That was good.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

It's the first time trying it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Yeah, I liked it. Good job. Hey! Well, yes, yes, we're here. I was getting some questions like when the next episode's gonna drop. Listen, we are working through some stuff, okay? It's the end of the year.

SPEAKER_03 2:00

Good things. Well no, this marriage is fine.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

We're working through some stuff.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

We are working. No, we're working, is what's happening. Uh, it's a busy time of the year, and um, yeah, you know what we're working on this what I'm bringing, you know what this is gonna be a great episode. I'm just going too quickly here. What we're gonna talk about is what you said earlier, but also what are we gonna stop, start, or continue doing in the new year? And what we're gonna stop doing in the new year is forcing ourselves to be under these tight deadlines for some shit that we don't get paid to do. That's what we're not gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Yeah, I think the most important thing we start is by starting off this episode, right? Welcome back to another episode of the open marriage podcast. I'm your host, Blair Edwards. This is the beautiful, amazing, sensational Khalia Edwards, and we are the host of Open Marriage Podcast. Now, quick disclaimer we are not in an open marriage, however, we are opening up the conversation around marriage. So please like, comment, subscribe, tell your friends, share the holiday gift of this podcast because it's a holiday episode.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Yay! Yay! We're like festive, but actually, you're wearing a green and white sweater.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

Yeah, I I was gonna wear my uh Kwanzaa uh sweater, but I didn't want to be too radical.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

You don't have a sweater, it's it's hiding, or then in that case, let me pull out my Hanukkah sweater.

SPEAKER_03 3:41

Lachayam.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Shalom.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

Mashallah. Yes. Um, do you know I always loved? I love it when people are like, oh, happy holidays, but I don't say happy holidays when they think about Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Yeah, I guess it's a politically correct thing to say.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

Yeah, I mean, do we celebrate Christmas?

SPEAKER_01 4:04

We do, yeah. Uh, I mean, I think there's this is a different kind of year for us when it comes to Christmas. There is zero presence under the tree, there's zero presence in the stocking. I guess we were bad this year. Santa did not come gifting us things.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Um who said that we don't have gifts.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

If you get me a motherfucking gift, I swear to God. Okay, quick story time. So two years ago. Yeah. Two years ago, we were like, okay, we're gonna do one present. Is this correct? The timeline of when you purchased that too large of gift?

SPEAKER_03 4:43

It wasn't last Christmas. I think, I think it was two, yeah, yeah. Two years ago.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

Okay, so two years ago, I'm I we could we agree on having just one present. Now, where I fucked up is I did not set a dollar amount and I did not give parameters. Blair, guilty as charged, uh, is conjuring up some like wild shit. Okay. So anyway, I'm thinking, oh my god, you know what? For since I've known Blair, he's been lugging around this ratchet suitcase he bought from Target or from wherever he got it from. And he just, when he goes and like modeling jobs or when we travel, it just doesn't match the aesthetic. I have got an away suitcase that was gifted, and I'm not like a away stand, however, I have had a great experience with my luggage, and so I was like, you know what, I'm gonna get him a away carry-on bag. I'm thinking I did something. So Christmas rolls around. I think it's late eve, early Christmas morning, and we're like, okay, we're gonna open the present. First, I open a box of presents that's not what his was, it was from his parents. So he's like, oh no, not this one, not this one.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

Yeah, I you know when packages get mixed up, I grabbed the wrong one. But it was still a beautiful grip gift from Robin. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

But then he gives me another box. I open it and I see a bright yellow dust bag that says go yard on the outside. And I'm thinking in my head, I fucked up. I fucked up royally. I did not tell Blair how much money to spend. I've now severely underspent. And so ever since that date two years ago, I've done everything I can to crawl out of the hole of the amount of money you spent on me that I did not spend on you. We were I wasn't in the negatives.

SPEAKER_03 6:33

No, you weren't. Okay, first of all, I barely gotten out. Everything about this relationship is positive, so there is no negatives. That's first and foremost. Secondly, I'm positively sure that that little that little go-yard bag, and I say little, but it wasn't a little. I mean, go-yard pan bag. I spent I spent some bands. I spent some bands, but everything that I get or do for you pales in comparisons for what you do for me and my life.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Sure, that's what you say when your wife doesn't get you a gift that's equal in value. So you just tell her she's so great at being a wife. Huh? Cover up. Anywho, what we've learned now, what I've learned now, is setting very clear parameters. So if this year Blair Isaac Ricardo Edwards decides to buy me a gift, I will screech to the homeland.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

Well, anyway.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Right now, right now, confirm or deny that you bought me a gift.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

What?

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Right now on the podcast, honesty hour. Confirm or deny that you've bought me a gift right now. Confirm or deny.

SPEAKER_03 7:52

You know what I've always confirm or deny. We're gonna ignore her.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Um I cannot stand you.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Well, okay. Let's bring some of them.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

So you're lying.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

No, it's because it's hot. I'm writing I'm wearing a sweat. I'm trying to be festive.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Wearing a sweat.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Sweat. Um roll your stuff. We said we said that we weren't gonna be doing gifts. We go to Chicago, but like Chicago was supposed to be our Christmas gift. We get to Chicago, we're in bed, respectfully, of course. Well, the border in between the beds. This is a holiday episode, correct. PG 13.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

And she's like okay, well, hold on. Reminder: we went to Chicago for our anniversary that happens to be a few weeks before Christmas, and we are seeing a concert. So, what he's gonna explain is an anniversary present.

SPEAKER_03 8:45

You are switching it up. Revisionist history.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

This is not revisionist history.

SPEAKER_03 8:51

You said to me uh this year we're not doing gifts.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Right.

SPEAKER_03 8:55

Because we're going to Chicago and we're going to England.

unknown 8:59

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

Yeah, I know. But I didn't, I never said I said we're not doing gifts for Christmas. I never said we're not doing gifts for an anniversary. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 9:06

See the loophole. Now don't get ready. I love, I love a good loophole. But just notice this. We were in bed, and then out of nowhere, she's like, so I have a gift for you.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Okay, first of all.

SPEAKER_03 9:20

We just said we weren't doing gifts.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Why do I sound like the wicked witch in your interpretation of how I sound? I have a gift for you. Okay. Yeah, I did get you a gift, but it was it it had to be done.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Either way, I I'm appreciative.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

It was like a it because it was like it was something that you didn't buy yourself on our last anniversary. So it was only right that I bought it for you.

SPEAKER_03 9:44

Okay, well, either way, thank you so much, my love. I appreciate you. And my gift. Can I can I find my gift?

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Yeah, where is it?

SPEAKER_03 9:51

I got it around somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

We need to get them uh sized though, because they're they're kind of falling off your face.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

No, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

What do you yeah, you have to get more stuff? Oh, you need the iPad.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

It's because I want to see the time. And we're 10 minutes into this episode. I just wanted to keep track because um, you know what I mean? But uh look look at me. You see me? They look good. This is what she got me. Oh, it's not this is what she got me. I'm styling and profiling. I'm like Ric Flair. Yeah, I'm Ric Blair.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Woo! We've really elevated your style. We actually were just talking about that as we were going to uh view a property. He put so he started wearing my clothes that I thought were just for me. So I bought this Aritzia like jacket that's definitely like at the waist length and at in a size medium. I'm thinking like, okay, this definitely is not something Blair can wear. And lo and behold, I don't tell him to wear it one time, he just puts it on, and I'm like, honestly, you look fly.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

So fellas, don't let the women's section deter you from having the coolest threads. Sometimes they got some things up in there, man. We do saying we really do.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Um, yeah, so anyway, we're not doing gifts, but we still do appreciate the holiday season. Would you agree?

SPEAKER_03 11:12

We do. Speaking of the holiday season, I have a question.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:18

Top goated holiday song. What is it?

SPEAKER_01 11:22

Song?

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Do you have an answer?

SPEAKER_03 11:25

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

What is it? Hang on the message. Okay, so what we're not gonna do is sing that song when you don't even respect the movie.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

I was doing a Donnie Hathaway version, not the Chris Brown. No, no disrespect, Breezy.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

He hates he hates Chris Brown.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

Breezy. I I Whoa! Whoa! Allegations.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Shame.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

I don't hate Chris Brown. Okay, what's the movie called?

SPEAKER_01 11:50

In fact This Chris.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

Reverse bike. Let's let's how about this? I'm gonna ask you top three songs, and I'm gonna ask you.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Three songs? That's too many songs.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

What's your favorite Christmas song, sweetheart?

SPEAKER_01 12:07

I don't have one. I like them all.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

Simply having one for Christmas. You like that one?

SPEAKER_01 12:16

Simply having. The only Christmas song I don't like is Baby, it's cold outside because it's a sexual allegation type of song.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

Oh, oh. It's forcing cold outside, let me in.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Yeah, he's like forcing himself in there, and she's trying to tell him, like, no, I'm good, and he's like, no, let me in. So, like, we don't that song has been canceled, but apparently we still play it out loud. Here's what I'll say Top three Christmas albums is what I'm gonna give you. Number one obviously goes to Mariah Carey. No one compares to Mariah Carey.

SPEAKER_03 12:48

Actually, listen to that album.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

You are actually going to prison. Um, so Mariah Carey, who happens, I don't know if she's finished her residency yet, but Rihanna showed up, which is incredible. I should have gone because we love Rihanna. Anyway, um, Mariah Carey is number one. Number two, Tori Kelly came out with a Christmas album in 2020. We all know how what kind of year that was. Tori Kelly's a goddess. Also, congratulations on your baby, Tori Kelly. You deserve that. Uh, and happy belated birthday. Uh, and Justin Bieber. Those are I can listen to those albums the very first song to the very end, and I will have goose foams or be singing along. They're incredible albums.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

Yeah, I I guess now looking back on my life, I never really was on the Christmas train like that. I don't be watching I don't be listening to albums. The Grinch albums. Okay. I don't be listening to albums. I I don't do the whole bacon cookies and whatnot.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Not now, but you will next year.

SPEAKER_03 13:53

Yeah, well, either way, what I'm saying is, uh, yeah, it's cool, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Blair has no holiday spirit. Just call him the Grinch.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Um The Grinch.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Oh my gosh. Where are you, Chris Moss? Blair loves that song. I was singing it the other night. You really enjoyed that, didn't you?

SPEAKER_03 14:13

Okay, which leads me into my next question. Sure. Start bench cut holiday edition. You ready? The Grinch? This Christmas. Wow. Okay, that that latest one that we watched with Christina Million and obviously cut that movie.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

It's not even a holiday classic. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

What would you what would you Okay, okay, not maybe not that movie. Maybe not that movie. But what's another goated, what's another goated holiday movie? Um Grinch, This Christmas, and what, Home Alone?

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Never seen it.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

Never seen Home Alone? No. That makes two of us.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

I don't know that the cast is diverse enough for me to watch it. It's a very uh important part of why what kind of movies I watch. Although the Grinch definitely had zero representation in the movie, so don't think I didn't notice that either. But I still think it's a classic.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

I had in a third option. What would be appropriate that you said?

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Oh god, I don't know. Um to be honest, like I'm not gonna be able to answer the question fairly because I don't think there's any other movie that can reach those two movies. They're my favorite holiday movies.

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Mean Girls.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

It's not a holiday movie.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Blair thinks if anything is set in the time of Christmas, but doesn't actually state happy Christmas or Merry Christmas explicitly, then it's a Christmas movie, and I don't agree.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

What a bright time.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yo, Lindsay Lohan kind of ate in that movie, no?

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Lindsay Lohan always eats.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Did you ever watch the movie with the what was that movie with the bug called?

SPEAKER_03 15:51

With the bug?

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Yeah, like the the Beatle, the like the bug VW Bug car that she called it. What was it called?

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Herbie.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Yeah, did you ever watch that?

SPEAKER_03 15:59

No.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Dude, that's just kind of sick.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

You like that movie?

SPEAKER_01 16:02

Yeah, I kind of fucked with Lindsay Lohan back in the day.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Okay, stop bench cups.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Anyway, just listen. Number one is the Grinch, number two is this Christmas. I don't care about any other movie. Those are my favorite movies. Everything else is just like extras.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

The Grinch is just my opinion. The Grinch is the best Christmas movie known to mankind.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Well, you also just like are biased towards Jim Carrey.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Jim Carrey is our goat.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Where has Jim Carrey been?

SPEAKER_03 16:30

Um, Sonic movies.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

What does that mean? Like that little blue thing. Sorry. Lord. I'm a girl. Millennial. Hey, I'm a girl. I don't know what Sonic is. I never watched any of those movies.

SPEAKER_03 16:47

He eats in that one too.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

What does he do? What does Sonic do? He just runs around? I never seen him doing anything.

SPEAKER_03 16:54

We're gonna play the game.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

I'm okay. That other game that you're playing on the TV last night was already scary enough with Donald Duck. I'm like, what is this?

SPEAKER_03 17:02

She's talking about Kingdom Hearts. Like I said, Zelennial.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

They just don't blur blur alert blurred alert.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

I need a pastime.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Anyway, um Okay, Start Bench Cut holiday food edition.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

Start bench cut holiday food edition. Let's go.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Okay. Jingle jingle.

SPEAKER_03 17:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

If you don't know Trader Joe's, go get your tub now while supplies last. This is not a sponsored ad. Uh chocolate chip cookies. Freshly baked that are warm.

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Or sticky toffee pudding. English edition with custard.

SPEAKER_03 17:51

What do you think? Just because I'm British, I'm gonna like start that one.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

I don't know. I'm just giving you a.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

Because you're absolutely right. Sticky toffee with the custard thunder. Boyaka, boyaka. You like that.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Okay, so what are you benching?

SPEAKER_03 18:05

Um, I'm gonna go ahead and bench chocolate chip cookies. Cut the jingle jangle.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

Why do you cut that? It's so good.

SPEAKER_03 18:12

It is great, but like I said, you brought it into the house, you tried to sneak it at the top. I didn't see it. At the top of the pantry. And once I caught whiff of it, I said no. They're way too addictive. I'm already starting to break out just singing about it. I can't do much chocolates.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

You did a good job though. When I opened it that one night, you only had a couple pieces of it.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Oh my god. Do you know it was so hard? So hard in my vein.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

It's so good though. Uh, but yeah, I only buy one tin and it lasts for however long it lasts. In December, I'm not buying anymore. That just is what it is. Uh okay, one more. Okay. Start bench cut holiday activity edition. All right, let's go. Okay, building a gingerbread house. Ice skating.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

JC Penny Christmas photos.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

Can I phone a friend?

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Sure.

SPEAKER_03 19:22

No, I was kidding. Um gingerbread, JC Penny, what was this?

SPEAKER_01 19:27

Ice skating.

SPEAKER_03 19:28

Ice skating. Yeah, ice skating is number one.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

Start that. Remember when I took you ice skating for the first time? You was like this.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Then I got it.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

People were dropping like flies around us.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

And they also were you weren't seeing because you're focusing on me, the people who were hanging on to the fucking rail for dear life, scooting their way, like just dragging the ice around because they couldn't.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

It needs to be done. It needs to be done. It's a great time. I love ice skating.

SPEAKER_01 19:55

We didn't go this year.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

We can still go.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

When? Anytime you want. When does but isn't all this stuff to close soon?

SPEAKER_03 20:03

Who knows? But I I will tell them to open up just so that we can go. Okay, we're gonna start ice skating. Bench building a gingerbread house, even though I've never done one. And cut the JCPenney photos.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

You hate photos.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

It's not that I hate photos, uh it just feels weird.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Why can't we send a holiday card?

SPEAKER_03 20:24

We can. We will next year.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Yeah, uh allegedly. We'll see what actually happens. Okay, so what I want to ask you is what is something around the holiday season that we are that's out for next year?

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Meaning we're not gonna do?

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Meaning, just in general, like the consensus of human population. What is something during the holidays that is out next year? Like we're all not doing it. Collective agreement, we're not doing it.

SPEAKER_03 20:55

This might be a hot take. Um, being festive in the workplace, cut that out.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Do you see what I'm saying? He really is a fucking grinch. You know, I've come to find this out. I'm a bit of a grinch. You're actually not though. When you say festive, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_03 21:11

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Festive in the workplace. What does that mean? Like, describe to me what that means.

SPEAKER_03 21:16

Like, okay, so at my place of work, they have a competition called the like holodore. In our dress rooms, we have to decorate our dress room to be festive.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Do you guys win something for this?

SPEAKER_03 21:29

I think we do. I just haven't won anything, and that's why maybe I'm a bit of a grunge. I'm like, hey, if I'm not winning anything, we need to abolish this whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Abolish, okay. Got it.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

It's just uh Well, maybe if you knew what you were gonna win, you maybe would care more. But no, no, no, no. What do you want?

SPEAKER_03 21:44

The first year I I put in work. We we decorated our door, we had the f we had the Phoenix dragon around the Christmas slate. I went around to three different office depots to find those sh miniature shelf on the um elf on the shelf. Cut out printed everyone's faces, cut out the faces and hot glued them on. Like we were all miniature elves. That was so sick. We did not win.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Who won instead of you guys?

SPEAKER_03 22:11

Um, another another dressing room. And I do you know what? I can't even remember what their their dressing room was. And I'm not saying it because it was bad, I was just so heated and seen red, and not candy cane red, like Rudolph Rednose Red Anger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

So when so the door decorating is out, but is there any other festive workplace things people do that are also out? No, I think I think um like can you wear a headband with ears on it, with with reindeer ears on it to work?

SPEAKER_03 22:49

Look, obviously, I'm being facetious. Everyone do what you want. I just don't want to be involved. What I want what I actually want is a holiday party. We don't we need to bring back holiday parties, and maybe y'all are doing parties and I'm not being invited. And if that's the case, invite me. But I would love an ugly sweat of party.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

But you know what I will say is I'm just too judgmental to uh go to anyone else's dumb party that's not orchestrated well or executed well. So when we move and we have more space, we'll host a holiday party.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

Oh, that would be really nice.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Yeah, we'll be the house that hosts things when we have the space and when we have kids. Jingle bell time. And you better act excited about it and not be a Grinch.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

I'm gonna dress up as a Grinch. That's fine. Don't scare the kids though.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

The girl like that video.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Mention the check. Yeah, I think that that is something that I can't wait to do is portray the Grinch and run up in people's heart. And they always do the same thing, they are so abrasive, they run in kids screaming, and they're like running and slipping and sliding and like trying to grab presents.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

I love the thing about it is like traumatized. The kids are scared.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

The kids are traumatized. I absolutely love it. If you ever need a Grinch to roll up in your house and take presents, employ me. I would love to do that.

SPEAKER_01 24:09

No, we're not doing that. That was so egregious, those TikToks. Uh, I didn't even know that existed, or that was a thing. That would just rude. Um, okay, so you have nothing else that's out for next year's holiday season.

SPEAKER_03 24:19

Nah, I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

You're good? You know it's out for me.

SPEAKER_03 24:23

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Holiday coffee drinks. Out, gingerbread syrup, freaking sugar cookie syrup. Any of that shit's out. Eggnog latte, out. All of it's out. Disgusting, sick, awful, too much sugar, not actually good, all artificial. No. Stop getting it.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Mashallah.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

And why is it coming out literally in October? It's just too soon.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

Do you know? Maybe because we've been boycotting a lot of places. I haven't really been like so caught up with retail places, like right after Thanks. Well, right after Halloween, it being straight to Christmas. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

It's not even Costco had because Costco opened before Halloween, like next to our house. It was summer when they opened. They already had Christmas shit in August.

SPEAKER_03 25:14

Well, I wasn't boycotting. Uh maybe I just haven't been shopping. Thanks for doing all the shopping, but I haven't been saying.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Yeah, I just you just eat the food and show up.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

Happy holidays.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

SPEAKER_03 25:27

And a happy new year. Okay. Good tidings. Have you ever Christma Christmas Carol? You have a Christmas Carol before?

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Car. No. Why would I do that?

SPEAKER_03 25:42

What song, if you were asked to to do Caroline, what song do you know you know?

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Joy to the world.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

How song go?

SPEAKER_02 25:51

Joy to the world. The Lord has come. Let Earth receive his king.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

Do you know the only the only reason why I kind of know that song is because of the movie Friday after next, which is it's right up there with the Grinch. Um Friday of the Next is one of my favorite Christmas movies.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

It's not a Christmas movie. It is a Christmas movie.

SPEAKER_03 26:15

Okay, comment in the section below. Friday of the next. Christmas movie or not?

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Nah.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

It literally says it's all about Christmas movies.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

I don't care what it says. It's not about Christmas. It's about someone not being able to pay rent and running after thieves. Like it's not, it's not.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

That is the realest Christmas. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

You and I have a different experience of Christmas. Okay. So what I want to know from you is what is you obviously had your childhood, the formative years of childhood in England. What is one holiday tradition? Also in England, they say happy Christmas. I although Blair does not re does not remember any of this. Uh so in England, what is one tradition that you all did as a family in for Christmas?

SPEAKER_03 27:10

You know, if I if I say the wrong answer, my parents are gonna look at me like all kinds of crazy. But the one that I remember the most is uh the pulling of the Christmas cracker.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

I knew you were gonna say this one.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

Yeah, y'all played that game before? You have these um, they're called I think they're called Christmas crackers. I think so. But it it it's like this carble thing, it's like a long tube, and then it has an end, and two people hold the end of it, and then you have to pull, and whoever like gets the majority of the Christmas cracker gets all the goodies on the inside. There's so many different prizes on the inside. But I've come to find out, and yes, I'm gonna throw you underneath the bus a little bit, Mom. I'm so sorry. But what my mum would do is she's like, there's a trick, so you don't you have to hold a little bit of the extra part of the actual thing so that it you have to get the longer tricks, strategy, yeah. Um, and uh, I haven't really been I we we played that one time. I got some for your family.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

Yeah, when you came over, I think that was one of the first Christmases, second maybe? Can't remember, but yeah, we haven't done it since then.

SPEAKER_03 28:15

What's a family tradition that you really do appreciate, other than everyone eating around the table? Because that's a lit time in in the in the residence of your upbringing.

SPEAKER_01 28:27

You want to say my maiden last name?

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Well, I wasn't gonna try and put your government out there, even though you put mine out there, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

You can put it, I don't care. Uh okay, so when I was, I think this is I don't know. I just think the holidays, there's something special about it for the kids. They truly are magical for children. There's so much wonder and awe. And when you're older, it's like, I can buy this shit myself. I don't really need you to give me this ratchet present, I'm gonna throw it on the shoot. Um, but when I was younger, we were able to open one present on Christmas Eve, and you got to pick out which one it was. So that was always really fun. Uh, that's one. The other one is setting out water and carrots for the reindeer because everyone only worries about Santa. Um, but I was also concerned with the reindeer. So coming back. The absolute sweet coming back in the morning and there being like a chomp, knowing now my mom, my mom and dad were probably taking chomps out of carrots in the middle of the night.

SPEAKER_03 29:21

Can you imagine them?

SPEAKER_01 29:25

I'm getting tears. That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 29:26

Guess I'm raunched on that.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

Oh, that's so good. Anyway, yeah, so those are my two favorites. Um, and we used to be the house that really uh hosted everyone. So the house is always full of people. Uh, it always felt like you know, a mad dash to get the house clean before everyone showed up, and then everyone was at the house for just hours and hours and hours.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

Yeah, I I would say growing up in England, I mean I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure we were the house that always like hosted people. Um it's always a great time, you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

Were you eating Jamaican food or English food?

SPEAKER_03 30:02

For cr for Christmas?

SPEAKER_01 30:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 30:04

Well, okay, yeah. There's just like my memory is so scary.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

Minxed meat pies.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

Oh, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

It sounds really scary.

SPEAKER_03 30:12

You say you say this, but then when we go to the house, it sounds scary. I'm I know to England, you're gonna be like, you know what? This is actually kind of lit.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

When we go to England, give me everything.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Hopefully still in stock, because everything's seasonal. Everything is seasonal. In fact, what I think I might do is I might swim by the international marketplace and see if they have any Apple.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

No, I want I don't I don't want them from there. I want them from England.

SPEAKER_03 30:35

Yeah, but they might not have it in stock.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Well, maybe your parents gotta get it now for us. And save it for us, freeze it.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Um which okay, let's go back. Do you remember what age you realized that?

SPEAKER_01 30:49

No.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

Okay. You don't even want me to finish the sentence.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

Because it's he's real. He's real. And he's black.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

You know what? What? If and when we have kids. I don't know how I feel about making them believe in Santa Claus.

SPEAKER_01 31:10

You don't make them believe in it. You just go along with it. There's some parts about childhood that need to be protected, and and the wonder and awe of the world is such that let them believe in Santa. What's the harm?

SPEAKER_03 31:29

I feel like there might be some harm in that. I feel can't put my finger on it.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

I mean, do you have trauma from not knowing that Santa wasn't real?

SPEAKER_03 31:37

I think I had more trauma for finding out wrestling wasn't real.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Right, which I'm like, kudos to you. I don't care. But I never was like, oh my god, can't believe the tooth fairy wasn't real. Like, the tooth fairy left sparkles on my face from her wings. She's real. You can't tell me that she's not real.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

You wait, you still believe this now, or yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

Tooth fairy is real, Santa is real, the Easter Bunny is real. These people are all real.

SPEAKER_03 32:05

Who all of them are real? Yes, yes. I can't wait for us to watch American gods. I think you're gonna like that.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

I don't know what that is, and I don't want to do it.

SPEAKER_03 32:13

Yeah, we're gonna watch American gods. We'll see how much you believe in that. Because there's a lot of deities and gods out there that people believe in.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Well, I believe in Santa Claus and I believe in the spirit of Christmas.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

Well, I believe in you. How about that?

SPEAKER_01 32:28

How about that? Okay, so what's a tradition that you would like for us to start doing? I've already picked one, so now it's on you.

SPEAKER_03 32:37

I think we should really start Christmas Caroline, going from like houses to houses.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

SPEAKER_03 32:47

The Lord has come.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Farewell. Farewell, farewell. Okay. I don't know. No, uh, be for real. Be so fucking for real.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Um, uh a Christmas tradition.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

I have one for you next year that we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

What's that?

SPEAKER_01 33:05

So we have a fake tree right now that's a pencil tree because we live in a one-bedroom apartment, there's not a lot of space. Um, that tree will transition into some sort of alcove in the house, or like in a loft or somewhere in a child's room. Uh, but it will not be our tree because we will purchase a tree, a real tree from the Christmas farm moving forward. A real tree that we tie under on the roof of the car and we bring home with needles.

SPEAKER_03 33:38

Yeah, that I think have you ever had a real tree? Yeah, sure I have.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

Blair, it's Christmas.

SPEAKER_03 33:48

I know. Call that jingle jangles okay. Um, have I had a real tree before? I think so in England, maybe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Maybe yeah. Okay, so you haven't had a real tree in over two and a half decades.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

But you gotta remember, like what? What is this is just making me realize how much of a Grinch I am.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

You're not a Grinch.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

What is what is the the lore around having a real Christmas tree? Is it because of the smell? Maybe because when you feel something real, you can obviously tell the difference and it just has it can be.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

It's like why do we have real plants in the house? Do you want to have fake plants?

SPEAKER_03 34:31

Yeah, because I don't have to worry about them dying. I wouldn't mind that.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Oxygen. It gives life, it brings the festivities into real experiences. Right now I have a fur and firewood candle, so that my house can smell like a Christmas tree, even though I have a fake one. There's just something about going to the farm, picking out the tree, it's the one that you picked out, you get to water it, it smells like a tree. It just brings a different energy to the space.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:58

So that's what we're bringing. That's one thing that we're bringing that we haven't done yet. And my not my children are not gonna have a fake tree. So we need to start this tradition now.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

Yeah, I think now that if I allow myself if I open myself up to this um this fantasy land, I think having like hosting holiday parties, that would be my Christmas tradition.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 35:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

I think that would be really nice.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:24

I just want to drink boozy eggnog and catch you under the mistletoe.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Catch me? What do you mean catch me under it?

SPEAKER_03 35:31

Sometimes I gotta I gotta trap you, I gotta set traps for you. I'd be like, yeah, there I there's something leaking in the washing machine. You'd be like, oh no, what's there? And you run over there and I'd be like, Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

Okay. Because I'm gonna, yeah, that's gonna make a lot of sense. Okay, so that's all you wanna do. Got it.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

At least for right now.

SPEAKER_01 35:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

That would be nice.

SPEAKER_01 35:50

Amazing. Okay. I can make sure I add that to the list for next year.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Maybe like five years from now.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

No, okay, then what's the next year tradition then? You're gonna have to have one thing that you pick for next year.

SPEAKER_03 36:03

Watching Friday off the next.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

No, you already had that hot chocolate. That was your single tradition. Married man tradition for next year. Three years married next year, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

Wow. Three. Crazy. What's your favorite Christmas gift I've ever done you? That goyard bag?

SPEAKER_01 36:24

No. The gift of your love.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

I did at a moment of silence because that was so cute.

SPEAKER_01 36:31

You want a real answer?

SPEAKER_03 36:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

This ring.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

The ring that he actually like wasn't a promise ring, but was.

SPEAKER_03 36:42

It didn't say promise ring, so I didn't count it as a promise ring.

SPEAKER_01 36:45

It has a knot on it.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

Yeah, I just thought it was like a cute bow or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

Tiffany's. This is when I was on tour.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Making that money. Get back to the show in that ass, will you? Alright. Answer my question. Tradition for next year. I thought I already answered it. You didn't. That's why I'm coming at you.

SPEAKER_03 37:07

Yeah, let's bake cookies together. I feel like that'll get me out of the question. Yeah, let's bake cookies.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

You're a hoe. Anyway, we'll come back to the to this next year in March and talk about what kind of tradition you want to have.

SPEAKER_03 37:22

Sounds good.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Matching PJs.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

You already got us once uh matching PJs before. I'm surprised we should have worn that.

SPEAKER_01 37:31

Fuck. We would have been sweating though. That shit is flannel top and bottom, armpits and coochies sweating.

SPEAKER_03 37:38

Not the cutie.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

The hairy cutie music. Not the when you start quivering your mouth. No. Yes. Iconic. Alright, so what is what do you think the best gift I like? Who do you think is gonna receive the best gift from us this year? Don't say what it is, because when this airs, we won't have open gifts yet.

SPEAKER_03 38:08

Who's gonna have the best like our gift to other people?

SPEAKER_01 38:11

Yeah. Like and obviously I went forth and purchased all the gifts. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Yeah. Yeah. She's gonna love that gift.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Yeah. Okay, what other person?

SPEAKER_03 38:23

Aunt Ellie.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

Okay. Besides those two, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 38:28

Um I forgot, I guess that'll be gotta be all.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

You think?

SPEAKER_03 38:42

I hope so.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

If she if she Well, she already when I told her like, yes, I was looking at getting the gift, and then Blair's over my shoulder then was upset that he thought I was buying it for myself, even though I was buying it for you, and she was like and I said, Hey, that is too much. And she's like, Okay, mom. My mom doesn't like receiving gifts.

SPEAKER_03 39:01

Yeah, no, that's why I felt like she's gonna get the best gift.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Yeah. My dad's gonna love his gifts though, too.

SPEAKER_03 39:07

Hell yeah. Oh, that reminds me, I gotta send it with you, or you're gonna I'll take it with me.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

Yeah. Anyway, I'm excited. I'm sad that you're not coming with me home, but um I will be thinking about you, and I'll still be back by Christmas night to deliver the gifts at Santa Lephie at my parents' house.

SPEAKER_03 39:25

I don't deserve nine gifts, but I'll take it.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

Every year we say that same thing. Anyway, um sorry I'm like sniffling, I don't know what's going on with me. I really do love you.

SPEAKER_03 39:35

I love you immensely.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

I do. Um I didn't get you any gifts, so don't give me a gift if you got it, put take it back. Take it back.

SPEAKER_03 39:49

Um, what else do we have to talk about? What time is it?

SPEAKER_01 39:52

I don't know. Your thing is dead.

SPEAKER_03 39:55

We've been doing this for about 40 minutes. We don't have to have like a long, long episode.

SPEAKER_01 39:59

No, it's not a long ting today, to be honest. And we got things that we've had to do, but I will say, uh, oh, we're rounding out the year. This will be the last episode. Uh actually, no, we'll have one more that comes out before the new year. So maybe we'll save the conversations for the new year for the next part of like what we hope to accomplish and like what's in the dog for us next year. Um, but I will say the holidays are way more enjoyable with you as my partner.

SPEAKER_03 40:29

So wait, it sounds like you're wrapping up the episode right now.

SPEAKER_01 40:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:33

No, no, no. We we gotta have we gotta address at least at least a social media topic. If if you're okay with that.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

If it's not holiday themed, it makes no sense.

SPEAKER_03 40:45

Yeah, I guess so.

SPEAKER_01 40:46

We already dressed one. The Grinch running around and terrorizing children. That's enough for everyone to feel disgusted going into holiday season.

SPEAKER_03 40:55

Alright, fine. Um, yeah, I as far as episodes, yeah. I this is gonna be the last episode for for this year.

SPEAKER_01 41:04

No.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

We have another one before New Year's?

SPEAKER_01 41:07

I think so. Based off of the calendar, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:10

Oh, shut up. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_01 41:11

Thursday is Christmas. We'll record an episode on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

Bet.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

And then we'll have one that comes out before the New Year. The New Year's also on the first hold on a Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

Oh. That's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

So I said that's why I just said we won't have to talk about New Year's because we're gonna do it in the next episode.

SPEAKER_03 41:31

Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

That won't be cool. Maybe we can just like do a little bit of like goal setting in that one too.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

Yes, player's favorite hates goals. 2026. I don't hate goals, Shantae does.

SPEAKER_01 41:42

I mean, well, shot's fired.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

She says so herself. Shantae, tell me I'm lying.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Oh. Called out. Uh, but I do love you so much. And I did say I'm not getting you a gift, but I am gonna get you jingle jingle.

SPEAKER_03 41:58

Um, happy holidays from us to yours. We really do appreciate you. We hope you eat all the gingerbread men, all the candy canes, all the presents, everything that you asked for Santa. I know you've been good this year, or have you been naughty? Who knows? Maybe I'd love to actually give coal to people next year. That's a holiday choice.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

We're not giving cold.

SPEAKER_03 42:21

We just want to say happy holidays. We hope it's a great holiday for you. Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, happy Kwanzaa, winter solstice. However, you identify whatever you celebrate from us to you. Huh? Well, it's me, shut sweet off. Alright, let's go ahead and let's uh let's get some of this eggnog. Oh, that's another thing. Boozy eggnog. I'm gonna get drunk this year.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

We don't even have any in the fridge. Alright, see ya.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

Bye. Give me kiss.