From Corporate to Leading with Love: A Conversation with Jenny Natyshak

In this profound episode of Awakening to Your Soul-Self, Cristina welcomes Jenny Natyshak, a retired corporate professional turned spiritual leader, who shares her journey from the corporate world to creating a retreat center focused on community healing and collaboration. We discuss the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership and the need for heart-centered approaches in corporate environments.

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Transcript

0:52

Hello, lovely souls. Welcome back to the Awakening to Your Soul Self podcast. I'm Cristina, your host, and I have Jenny here. I'm so excited. This is, what, our third time trying to schedule this? Divine timing is perfect. How are you? I'm good. Thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to get into this juicy conversation. I'm so excited. So I always start with the guest of introducing themselves. So who are you and what do you do?I am Jenny and I am a retired corporate closet hippie that resigned from corporate a couple years back. And I truly am living my life by design instead of by default, if you will. Yeah, so I my soul was screaming. The little bread crumbs in the universe kept on putting things in front of me even couple years before I resigned and it just got louder. My soul's ache and and screaming at me just got louder and louder. So I decided to resign and since then I've opened up a retreat centre where I can run weekend retreats, workshops. My favorite thing in the world is women in circle being heard and seen and healing together and collaborating in this beautiful community and the other facilitators that have now been running workshops out of the out of The Lodge. And I also started Leading with Love movement. I'm really talking going back into corporate cause I'm not going to forget maybe what?I wish I had in corporate. I'm trying to bring into corporate with having with doing workshops and training around emotional intelligence. We know you and I, that leadership is it has nothing to do with what title you have, how much money you make leadership, right?It is inner work that you've done and doing the inside job in doing the leadership's an inside job, I should say. So really kind of going back into corporate and and hopefully doing my part and making the impact. And so it trickles down from the top down in the leadership style that we can be heart-centered leaders. We don't have to lead with our our ego. We can lead with our hearts and lead with love. I love that there is so much ego out there that I love that you're trying to get back everyone's to their heart center because that's. What everybody really is at their high vibrational is when they're back into their heart self. Yeah. And of course we need to use our mind. There's just a part of that conditioned, programmed mind that for me and my experience, even in the last two years, doing something completely different. But I still take action. It's inspired action instead of forced action. I still I almost allow my heart to be the filter of my thoughts, of my when I get and so much more creativity lives there. When you get to filter it right through your soul, your heart, your desires are there. We all have desires. They're placed, I believe those little if we're listening, if we pause long enough to listen. Because they're meant to to go out into the world, these desires of ours that that's my that's what I mean by my soul ache. I had such a desire to serve, be of service and be a bring this Wellness programs and workshops into the community from the leaders to the entrepreneurs to the. I mean we're all leaders whether you're leading your household, you're leading your team, you're we're all leaders just doing it a different way. Absolutely. And that's the key is if you pause enough to listen. For me, I know like when I'm in my quote, UN quote, real world job, I have a hard time listening because I'm such in the zone that I'm like, all right, I'm doing my thing, I'm doing my thing. And then every once in a while I'll like feel a tug in my heart, like slow down. You don't need to do everything at once. So I love how you you added that to that you had to list and take a moment and pause. I'm trying to incorporate that more in my life as well. Yeah. And it's hard. And my part, my business partner and I now we've we've got an approach. It's our signature framework around it's called hands on heart. Go figure. It is taking that placing your hands on your heart that's getting into your body. That's getting to help. That helps me drop from my mind to my heart. As I as I touch it, like I'm embodying it and then I inhale and I exhale and then that is returning myself back to my center. What is our center, our power, like making decisions from just such a different place than than what I was used to in corporate for 25 years. Like I am leading completely different and again that's going. Into into my heart like that's being heart centered and 1st off and foremost with compassion and kindness. That means with my style too. I'm not more. I'm human. Like I will make mistakes, but I'll give myself that kindness and that compassion that I would give my team, that I would give my partner, that I would give my yeah, yeah and. Giving that compassion and that love is really important. I'll never forget in college I was having a bad day and my mentor back then, she unfortunately passed, said, you know, you're such a good student and you always want good grades, but you can't always get the good grades. So you need to talk to yourself as you were talking to your inner child or to your your actual child. And I was like, wow, that really makes sense because you wouldn't freak out at your inner child for getting something wrong. So I love how you intertwine that saying like you have to be compassionate, like talk to yourself as you were talking to your team, cause you wouldn't want to be yelling at your team either. Yeah, and we are so self-critical. And that again is that default that our brains are wired to keep us safe. So we have to actually even have gratitude for that. But we're no longer getting chased by saber-toothed tires, right?So it's like replacing that self. Criticism with would I talk to a child this way? Would I talk to my friend this way?Get up little. Oh, I would never speak to anybody else. So how can we do it to ourselves?And it's just catching that and then rewiring it. It's catching that again. My filter is my heart now and it goes through. How can I reframe that with love and kindness and compassion?And then I repeat that three more times cause we are just rewiring. It takes time. It takes practice. Yeah, absolutely. So I would love if you could go into your spiritual awakening. I really feature that in a lot of my podcast episodes cause everyone's is different and everyone's takes a different amount of time. I've had people just know and have a light bulb moment. I've had people who take years. So I'm always curious for my guests and what their spiritual awakening is like and what what do they really call their spiritual awakening moment?Yeah, well, I love reflecting on this and it's been a it's been a while. So thank you for this question because it was not overnight. It was not a Kundalini. It wasn't this big Kundalini awakening. Like there was no all near death. It was not a one thing that came for me. It has been over the last 10 years and I slowly just integrated. I think my first thing that that I started that I guess is the breadcrumb. When I say desires, it's the breadcrumb. The first breadcrumb for me was was crystals. And then just feeling and then holding and then seeing the difference of when I wear one and have that protection or whatever the crystal is that I'm that I'm feeling for to to to stay in alignment. Then it was essential oils a while later and these are through retreats that I've gone on. So it's always been retreats for me like that is when my I went oh. I feel so safe. I feel so seen. Everybody around this circle in this retreat, in this transformational. And this was with my life coach, which was again of the breadcrumb. She asked me the first question on on our first session together, if I could name my core desire and I could not. I went, wow, it's worse than I thought. I was so on robot and so on default that I did check, check, checkI can tell you all the boxes I checked today. I can probably tell you my husband's core desire, my children's, my probably a couple of my employees. But mine, I don't have time for me. I got to make sure everybody else is around me. OK. And kind of that's where I was in corporate, wearing that with a badge of honor, almost like, look at me go, look at me go, like external validation and praise. So when I'm seeking, when I was seeking and searching for my my spiritual, what's the word I'm looking for?Moment. It's not out there. It's not on the check marks. It's not in all those things. That's when I went inside and I started going, oh, what are my core desires? Again, writing that down, having gratitude, just getting out of the the robot like same old, same old every single day and. At first it wasn't like this, but I do this now with such curiosity and play. Like when I I was scared to go inward, I was scared to go deep. I don't know why. Like, am I going to find something being bad when I was in my like I I put so there was so much fear and so much resistance in all of these steps along the way. But finally it's just that, OK, you. Get through that fear and you get through that discomfort. What's on the other side?Growth. You get through that fear, you get through that discomfort. What's on the other side?Spiritual growth. So mine was gradual and then to lead me to owning a a Wellness retreat venue like it it it was a 10 year. But I'm so proud of myself cause I kept following the breadcrumbs and then the ultimate day that I decided. to resign from the dealership and I loved it like until I didn't or until I evolved myself, I guess, out of the out of out of out of corporate. It was the, I'm not going to put myself on the back. It was like a self-talk for probably a year before I actually made the decision was that I'm no longer gonna let myself down. I'm no longer gonna let my desires down. I'm no longer going to let my dreams down. No, I'm not putting like everything was my needs, my wants, my desires, my everything. Dreams were on the back burner, like dismissing myself. And then what happens?You forget who you are. So remembering who I am is really just returning home to me. Where is that?That's my inner. That's my heart. That's my that's that's it's returning home. Yeah. Oh, so powerful. And I love that you actually follow the breadcrumbs because for me, like, I think for a lot of people, that's the hardest part is you get that nudge, you get that sign and you follow it because you have the egoic mind that's trying to like protect you but stop you at the same time because it's afraid. Yeah, I've I've recently watched Inside Out 2. It's like a Disney movie. It talks about emotions. And I had this aha moment where anxiety was having, you know, a freak out, a panic. And I was like, Oh my gosh, it's just trying to protect us. It doesn't know any better. So now I associate the egoic mind with the emotion, anxiety, because it's it's kind of one and the same for me. It's really trying to protect us. It doesn't know any better. It's not trying to stop us. It just was like, wait, think about it. So following the breadcrumbs is really important. Yeah. And then while while saying, wait, wait a minute, that is also that reprogramming that we were talking about earlier because we can't think our way out of feeling and we can't. We have to feel all of our feelings fully and they all get to be here. When I started giving love combined. compassion and kindness to my anger, to my sadness, to my anxiety, to my fear with just allowing it to live, allowing it to be here. I'm a human being letting it be instead of pushing it down or resisting it, right?Because we know what happens when you resist it and push it down. It stores that in your emotional body and then it becomes. Years of years of storage in your emotional body if you're not letting yourself feel it, the emotion all the way through instead of pushing it down. And I do breath work, so I do one-on-one coaching as well. That I've added into the breath work because you need to you get to have conversations like this about what is coming up for you. It's stored there. It wants to come to the surface. If you are starting on your spiritual path or your personal growth journey and you're no longer resisting it, which is the hardest part, it's such a practice and I think we'll be seeing for the rest of our days. But it wants to come to the surface, then we can breathe it out. I mean, there's so many different modalities now that are coming back to the mainstream about how we can release blocked emotions that are in our body from Qi Gong to sound healing to Reiki to breath work, dance, ecstatic dance. Love that. We'd scream it out, cry it out with lots of crying. And yeah, it's just beautiful to witness often the the healing that's happening and the people no longer resisting the letting it come up to the surface and letting it be there. And I just get to hold them and and hear them and listen to them so that they can feel that maybe something that happened when they were five years old, your inner child. Five years old. You never felt it fully. You were told it was silly. You were told this. You were told that. Now feel it now. Why?Because it will be released if you feel it 100%. And you really have to learn to feel those emotions because like you said, they they really get down there. But eventually they're going to come back up and they're not going to come up in pretty ways. No, for sure. I recently did a body code session with one of my healer friends and she's asked, she like released all these emotions and I was like, I've never thought of that. Like she brought up an age and I was like, oh, that makes sense. So there's all these different healing modalities, breath work, body code, motion code, you know, yoga. You know, therapy. There's so many different ways now that I think as a collective, we're learning to open up to all our emotions and really tuning back into ourselves and and listening more to our bodies. Yeah. And paying and paying attention to the to the little ping maybe in your body to say, oh, am I whole, am I holding, looking at that again with curiosity and play. Because it'll be a little ping and then it'll get bigger and then it'll be a much bigger if if not resolved, if not felt all the way through. And I love that these modalities, these modalities that you just spoke of, they've been around for thousands of thousands of thousands of years and they're just coming. I think that the there's a paradigm shift happening right now and not only are we starting to see these heart-centered leaders and the and and again, we're all leaders, really having a different approach with compassion and kindness and authenticity instead of power and titles and and you know what title you have and and it being very from from ego. But this fear, and I want to say controlled, structured mind, and it's none of our faults. That's what's beauty about this conversation too. Our parents did the best that they could. Our leaders in corporate, in schools, our teachers, whatever, whoever helped raise us, they did the best that they could with what they had. So now it's that generational patterns that are shifting. I I see it. And it's our kids that are, you know, like as I started waking up and returning home to me, then I'm teaching that to my children. They're going to have less. Cause I don't think we're learning anything new is what I'm trying to say. I think we're unlearning a whole bunch of conditioned and structured stuff that is not our fault and that's did that everybody's did the best that they could and it's but if it my my when did I start this work 10 years ago my kids were 10 and and 13 like they. Got to see mom going through it. I didn't hide. I did my morning routine. I have my sacred mornings to myself so that I can start the day full from a full cup and do the inner work. And that's that practice. It's it's a daily routine. Just like you go to the, uh, you go to the gym to hone your physical muscles. You're doing these beautiful daily routines and pract and practices to hone your spiritual muscles. Absolutely. That's the way that the Angel described it to me is that you got to start to tone your your spiritual muscles, just like your your physical muscles. And that really clicked for me because like, you know, not not everybody sees energy as energy, you know, you know what I mean? Like, so to really see it as a muscle just clicked. And I love that you brought it up. Yeah. Because there is a another thing that's I'm really, really excited about these days is that science is matching up right now with all of these modalities and they have it proven and they're doing, they have the data now and they have. But again, they've been around for a long time. We just forgot about them as collectively we we went after something different. The industrial age, we went after the jobs and the money and the material and the outside, outside, outside, outside influences. And now I think now I can feel it. Like everybody's starting to go, oh, but I forgot about me. I forgot about who I was on that, climbing that ladder, checking those boxes off, whatever, whatever it is. Yeah, yeah and it's also a societal thing like you. You know, go to school, you go to college, you get your job, you get your degree, get married, pick my picket fence. And now it's, it's really changing and it's allowing all of us as a collective to get that spiritual hit, get that spiritual awakening. And I feel like there's more and more waves that are happening because we're being more open and starting to return back to home. Yeah, and the more of us that are vibrating at that frequency. The and and again, collective and societal like that is a giving so many people permission that they can do it too. And that's another part of the leading with love movement. Like let's all raise our vibration, lead with love, let the heart be the filter, unlearn a bunch of things that we were taught and that were structured, that they're in us and we can still be, I believe, even more effective and even more productive. Leading with your heart than leading with your with your ego. Yeah. And and imagine all these companies like I can visualize it like at a boardroom, the leader saying, OK, we're going to all center together and let's just take 3 deep cleansing breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth before they start a meeting. Yeah. Instead of like just to calm the mind, get in your body and let's go create. And I think magic would be created instead of chaos, cause you're not centered and taking that action from that inspired place. Yeah, and and the energy just isn't right when you don't center yourself. Like I I always can tell at work when I'm like I didn't center myself, you know, right before I'm like, oh. This feels different. And my body's like, you got to breathe, remember to breathe. And I've started like taking little 5 minutes walks out of my office. So I'm like out of that and like energy and then come back with a fully fresh energy. Yeah, and 5 minutes. It doesn't take that long. But it's like you're just going to check the next box. You're just going to like end that again with societal pressure and work like like work pressure. You're watching people. You may be watching people around you and they didn't take a break. So I'm not going to take a break and I can't look like I'm lazy. I can't look like I'm not enough. I can't look like like the are we we It's this competition that we have and the competition, yeah. But all that's changing and the more that you get up every single whenever you need it, cause it's not, it doesn't have to be on, doesn't have to be one more box to check. I think some people take this and and go one more box to check. It could be when you feel out of center and the only way you're gonna know that is when you know what your alignment feels like. So many people around us do not know what that alignment feels like. Their nervous systems are are shot. They're on fight or flight all the time, running to the next thing over their shoulder, looking at what did I miss?What did I do?Like living, living, living. How do you, how do you get centered?And it can take 5 minutes. That's what's so beautiful about the power of your breath. About the power of your body, about the power of your heart. We've let go of everything from here down, I think over the last hundreds of hundreds of years worked with this and it got us far. Like look at all the beautiful technology and the stuff that we have going on. But now we get to drop from our head to our hearts and do and just change, change the way we are, are that that competition into collaboration that force and push into inspired action like we get we get to the the a lot of people are having these conversations like you and I are having and I just love love having these conversations cause the more we talk it out again the more people that are changing their frequency remain not remaining realigning every time they're out of alignment cause we are going to get out of it a lot out of alignment and coming. And acting and doing and being cause we forget about the being for a very long time. Then happier, happier households, happier communities, happier organizations. We can bring in the kindness, compassion, joy, happiness back. It's been gone for a long time. Let's bring it back. Yeah, and when you feel those higher vibrations, they're just so yummy, like you don't want to get out of them. And the angels are just bringing in like if you if clear feeling is not one of your senses, then imagine it. Or if you're visual, like see it. Like for me, when I'm communicating with my inner child, it will light and I don't always don't see color, but it it lights up a different. Density. So like for me, like kind of like like my light. So if my inner child's happy, I kind of get this glowing effect. But if it needs a little love, it's a little bit dimmer. So think about that when you're trying to find what your alignment feels like, because it feels different for everybody. And they're also bringing me through back to when you were talking about the crystals. Start with a crystal cause they really do feel different. At first I I didn't feel it, but now they really feel differently. Do you want to talk about a little bit about your crystal journey?Cause I think Spirit's trying to bring that through for for listeners. OK, well well again it was it was done with lots of curiosity at 1st and skepticism. Let's be real. I was very going this is a rock like it's not going to do anything until. I have them with me for for sleeping, to help me sleep and then I'm sleeping better. Like there is one crystal. I forget the name of it, but I wore it every for the last two years that I was in corporate and it was a it was for protection and it was against. Activity and as I'm trying so hard every day and maybe a not so positive environment, keep my vibration up, not dim my light, keep that frequency of of compassion and love as a leader. I was a part owner and a leader. So that crystal I could tell the difference when I did not have that on and when when it when going into to work and when I did have it on. And it's a funny little story, but I just love how the universe works. Like, I actually went to go look for it, maybe, I don't know, a few, a few months ago, and I couldn't find it. And I was, and it was a little bit of money, but I was not upset about it because if I had left it at a retreat or I left it in Sodoma or I left it somewhere, I'm like, I just pray and hope that somebody that needs it receives this crystal. Cause I did. That showed me that I didn't need it anymore. Yeah, yeah and then again, I don't know all the names of it. I'm more of a feeling knowing. Yeah, me too. This is Juniper. I think it's so beautiful. This is, this is to help keep my my center and help me keep in alignment, my chakras. So I wear this every day now because that is my like that that is my goal and that is my practice every single day. They just, I have them around. I have them at all my crystals around all my circles. I have crystals that I give as gifts for for the retreat participants at the lodge. Like they are. If everything is energy, which it is, including everything else, then why wouldn't we have that energetic?Difference shift in in in energy because of that piece of energy that has that's magical. I mean I haven't got yet and this is I hope to do one day. To all these beautiful pyramids and these beautiful that is all to do with geometry and energy and crystals and the and the and right like it's another modality and something that we've been using as a human race for thousands of thousands of thousands of years that was just kind of forgotten for a little bit and it's all coming back. Yeah, yeah and if crystals are kind of like tuning into you right now. When I started playing with crystals is I would hold one during meditation and see what it feels like. I would also try it in different hands because they do say like I believe it's the left one is receiving and the right one is giving. Maybe it's the other way around. But you're right. I think it's right. I think it's the left. Yeah. And you'll feel the difference like or put it on a piece of your body, so. Like the rose quartz I like to put on my chest to like bring the love back into my heart center. You don't have to spend quite a lot of money. Like you can buy the little tiny ones first because those hold a lot of energy too. Of course, the bigger you go, the more energy it, you know, provides. But start with the little ones. Like I got a chakra system one where it's just little triangle ones and it's each chakra, so. Sometimes I'll place it on each chakra to realign. Yeah, yeah, it's magical. It's so it's it really is magical. And again, if you're not a feeler, see what senses you have with that particular crystal. So are you're talking about the clairs, right?Yes. Yeah. The clairsentient. The clair. Yeah. It's audible vision. Like you can visualize it. Yeah. And hear it. You can set. You feel it. Yes. Then once. Yeah. How many clairs are there?Seeing, hearing, feeling. I believe there's tasting. Feeling different than knowing. Yes. OK, Yeah. So for me, like clairaudience is kind of my stronger one. So. Instead of seeing the colors, they'll I'll hear the colors or they'll sometimes they'll write on a like a black chalkboard for me when I feel like my my cerbores is a little stronger. And that's why I always like to bring up the other clairsenses because we're not all the same. I believe that we all have all the the clairsenses, but we have, we haven't discovered all of them yet or we we have a stronger one than the other. I love that. And and thank you for taking me through the Clairs because that is exactly it. We have all of them and they're just dormant. They're not waking up. What's the other thing that we can do if we pause long enough to, yeah, feel them, just pause, like just pause with you yourself and just be. There's nothing to do. There's nothing, no breath work, no nothing. Just be. Then it can. You can tap into those and they can awake, but they will never awake with the chaos of the world and the mind and the monkey mind that we are mostly living in. A lot of us. Yeah, and it takes practice to quiet the monkey mind. I'll never forget when I first started, I couldn't sit 5 minutes. I just couldn't do it. My brain kept going. But you find certain things that help you. So when I was first starting, holding a crystal was really helping me ground my energy. Then I was doing guided meditations because I found that if I had a a guide with me that was more simpler for me to follow because I'm more of a rule follower, so that made sense for me. And now I do just high vibrational music or sometimes I'll be by myself, but for for me being by myself too long is is easier for the monkey mind to climb. So if I have like high vibrational music. It just brings me centered back or guided meditation. So whatever flows for you and it's just gotta you gotta experiment and find it. Breath work is what helped me cause as soon as I as soon as my mind started going, I'd return to, I'd return to my breath. If my thoughts started going, I'd return to my the. So it's like that meditative of the breath work in and out. And then that's also what really allowed me. I didn't even know what it meant to be in your body, to feel in your body. Like, I didn't even know that. Like, that's what Breathwork did for me too, because I started breathing properly and then breathing from my abdomen to my heart, just sensing it in my nostrils, like just feeling like the breath is so, so powerful. Like you can breathe into a sore spot and it can dissipate because it's just energy that is stuck there that needs to. Yeah, it's just every energy in motion. It's not in motion, it's you get stuck. So breath work is really what helped me. And that was, I think I did it. I started a month after I resigned a couple of years ago and did a six month, six month program facilitation, trauma informed facilitation program certificate. And it was just for me. It was not to teach it one day, but. How can I not?So many people are forgetting to breathe. I wasn't breathing. I was holding my breath. Didn't even notice. I was not even aware. Holding my breath when I was thinking, holding my breath when I was stressed, holding my breath when I was anxious, holding my breath. Like that is not good for your. Yeah. And now I teach it and it's love. Yeah, 100%. And I remember when I was first starting. Meditation is that, you know, they tell you to do a deep, deep inhale, deep exhale. And I was like, oh, my lungs can go that big. And it's just like the little reminders. Like even today I was walking across campus and I was like, oh, I'm a little out of breath. And then I heard this little nudge like as you were holding your breath, you got to, like, breathe as you walk. I was at the hospital a couple visits and everybody's fine. But both the rehabilitation center and the hospital that I went to, one family member had a little device that to breathe into it, to make sure that she was breathing deeply, because it's so important to get that oxygen in your body, but also to remove, right?So it's a little thing that that just kind of floated. And then on my uncle's chalkboard, it said to do. Wow. Yeah. So it is. It's everywhere. And how important it is and how much we take it for granted that that is a again in 5 minutes, taking those 3 deep cleansing breaths. That's not even 5 minutes. Getting off your desk, going for a walk. And I don't know if this for you, if this is the case for you and I have become much better at this, but I didn't give myself permission. To get off my desk, I can give myself permission. I'm still fighting that. Yes. And again, because of the performance wheel, because of the society, because of the pressure, because of the competition, because is someone going to say, oh, what are you doing?Slacking like all the comments that are made that I'm sure you've heard through school, through work, through right like. We're we all. Why do we all have to be on this performance wheel?And it's adding so much stress to us and we're not breathing while we're on this performance wheel. Yeah, for self-worth, for self-love, for self-acceptance, for like, it's all here. Let's give ourselves permission to return, to start returning home, to remember who you are. And it's none of those things. It's right here. And then. Will get the marks. We still will get the job done. We still get, we'll still will be effective, but even more so I think 100% and what spirit's bringing through as well is that if you know, taking those deep breaths isn't your cup of tea, cause you know, every modality isn't everybody's cup of tea, try to get into movement. For me, sometimes the deep breaths work. Sometimes I actually need to physically. Remove myself from my office and walk. So meditation, breath work, all these modalities, you know, are amazing, but you have to find what works for you. So if it's yoga, if it's stretching, walking, meditation, like whatever works, you'll you'll you'll get that click. I think for me, I got that click funny story about my beginning of my yoga practice. This was maybe in between the crystals and the essential oils and love. I'm, I'm, I'm an athlete. I've always been in sports and still playing golf to to this day and pickleball. Like I'm very active. I was using yoga for me as a as that permission. It's an hour class. All I my only goal was to just lay on the mat. Even if I didn't make one movement, I didn't do one. Just be on the mat for an hour. I couldn't do it. I did not make it an hour and I left. Like that's that slowing down that I didn't give myself permission. Like I felt all the guilt that came up and the shame came up. And it happened again when I was doing my breath work pro certification that I had to do. Hours and hours of breath work and laying on a couch doing this breath work. And I it comes up still when I think about it. Feeling guilty. I have this to do. I have this to. I have this to do. I have this to check off. I have going. Jenny, stop resisting it. Like a real, like beautiful, full. I resisted it for three months out of the six months. That's how long it took me to, I think. out of out of my last position in corporate to to realign, to do a little healing, to give myself permission for not going, what am I missing?What am I doing?Like to get off the performance wheel. I think it took me three months. And had I not done this breathwork program, facilitation program, I think it'd take me a lot longer 'cause it's that practice when I was determined to get in alignment, to know what it feels in my body, to drop from my head to my heart, all those things into my new next chapter of my life in whatever I decide to do is going to be from that space. I knew that that's what I wanted, but wow, like guilt and shame for being lazy. Yes, for me it was not being productive. So I remember when COVID started, I had really high anxiety. So I started to do a yoga practice, just a quick like YouTube video. And I was like, I couldn't like hold the positions and I was like, well, what am I doing?And I kept hearing like you just or you're doing it for yourself, you're not doing it for anybody else. So even if you don't hit the pose or you don't hit in that pose for as many seconds as the instructor does like. Take a deep breath. It's not a performance. It's not going to be judged. And I think that changed my whole perspective of wow, like, because all you see is social media, like all these people doing their healing modalities and you're like, whoa, she can do that. I can't do that. And then it gets negative. So for fear to bring through that. Hey, as long if you can hold it that position or whatever you're trying to do for five seconds, that's amazing. Hey, congratulations. Give yourself that. Yeah. Yeah and that took a little bit. Yeah, it's it's that that took me a long time. Yeah. And like I said, I bet you you can today hold your pose longer because you gave yourself grace. You gave yourself. It's. Everything is a practice. Everything you get better at once you, right? Like it's not, it's not overnight. I I don't even know. Like I've heard many stories about the original question that you asked me about my spiritual awakenedness. And I don't know if I could have done it all at once. Like I think that I loved the fact that it was so titrated and so slow and it was one thing and then adding another thing and then adding another thing. And it's all sustainable now. If it would have been fast, I don't know if I I I don't think I would have wished that to be any different than what it was to to for me to be sitting here today with you, not doing seven other things when I'm on this podcast either. Just being with you. Yeah, right. Because that's the other thing. You're never present when you're always checking off the boxes and and on that performance wheel. And I believe. Yeah, but I'm hearing it and I'm sure you are too in this beautiful on your with other guests on your podcast and and hearing it that people are using these words of pausing. People are using heart-centered. People are shifting from something that I'm sorry for me anyways, was not sustainable and into. I don't think I'm any less productive. I don't think I'm any less like I just give myself. Permission to pause. I give myself permission to take a step out and read so that I am not short. I'm not screaming at my kids. I'm not. Cause that's all all that comes from when you're all over, right?Yeah. For me recently I've been giving myself either a Saturday or Sunday to be completely unproductive cause that just realigns me back. Like I was always like editing the podcast on Saturday and then. Trying to publish it on Sunday and and my spirit team was like you need one day for yourself cause I work Monday through Friday already and by the time I get home I'm like done. So like one day, one day for yourself and that's what I slowly been incorporating. So how long have you been doing incorporating that?A couple of months now like I'm really have been trying to stick to it. That's the hardest part for me being a type A productive person is like. I always got to do something. And I'm like, you know what? I just need a break. We need to add pause and break as our to do on our To Do List. Did you put it in your calendar?That worked for me. Oh, I didn't. No, because that's what you're doing today. So you're following the rules like you like and you're and you're you're you're atypical. So it says rest day my. Today I have meditation with Jenny and I have movement with Jenny. Like this is my time with me and I have it in my. I have it in my calendar, which then just keeps me on. There's no guilt about it. It's a rest day. It's a it's a day of rest. That is my job today. That's what I get to do today. So try putting it on your calendar. I think you might. Yeah, I'm gonna give that a go. Yeah. And then you're following the rules and you're atypical and it says, hey, I got to rest today and and you're going to resist it because you're going to want to do something. And Nope, that's what I have to do today. I have to rest. A rest can be a walk in the park, a rest can be whatever, but it's not anything on your checklist or it's your being list. It's your be today. Exactly. So I'd love for you to talk about the lodge. I've been following you on Instagram. And I've looked at your website and I just love the energy period about all. Can you go into a little bit about it?Like what inspired it?I would love to. So when very shortly after I resigned, a this place that the lodge came up and there was no question. Like I had already been running retreats, like I said, following the breadcrumbs. I didn't finish the complete. Breadcrumb. Uh, but I'd been running retreats in Huntsville away from home on retreats. And I'm going, Oh my gosh, we need something like that in my community. We don't have a place like that and then not have to drive 5 hours to it. So it's a big log cabin and there's like 12 beds. So I'm like, this is perfect. So it started out as the desire and the dream to own my own retreat center where I can run my retreats, but I also can mentor other women who are in the spiritual community in the whether they're a entrepreneur. Practitioner, I have therapists now that have only done one-on-one doing group therapy here. I think we're all wanting to come together. We've since we all know what happened in 2020 and we were isolated I think and then we moved to the screens. And I think people are craving that connection again. So a beautiful loft space has allowed not only myself, but the community of healers and teachers and facilitators and practitioners to come and run training programs and workshops. Like it's lifting up the vibration and the frequency of the whole community. I've never, I I say it all the time, it's not my lodge, it's everybody's lodge. And that watching these women shine their light and maybe have pushed it down for such a long time and who may be still working a job that they eventually want to get out of. That is their breadcrumb that now I'm giving them the opportunity and the lodge is giving them the opportunity to start running workshops. It's an hour workshop once a month. Get the momentum, get the practice, do shine your light. Like take your certificates off the shelves. Let's go like and I get to lead and be the heart centered leader with uh um, mentoring them and and filling the space that way. And then um, they do retreats and so it's a it's a Wellness center. I'm so, so super happy to launch my corporate Wellness days. Again, corporations are doing the best that they can and they even have. Budgets now, and some from the government and some from the corporation, adding Wellness budgets, knowing that burnout is real. work-life balance is important. All of these things, especially after finding that people can be as productive working half from home, half from. There's a beautiful little shift that has happened after COVID. And I see all the I tend to see the positive in everything, but there is a lot of beautiful shifts that have happened after that. So how are they keeping it?So coming to I can go to their boardroom, but they can also come to the lodge cause it's a space for the team to get together outside of their regular default environment where it's hard to get off of your desk. Encourage your employees to leave and come for an hour workshop. For a day retreat, whatever. I customize it to the needs of the corporation or and schools. I love, love schools too. The kids come in here, they have a little workshop in the of gratitude and and just starting them early into their daily routine and practice of self-care and and spiritual growth. So starting that and that is to start that at. At grade 8 or grade 9 or grade 10, how beautiful would that be? That's amazing. Yeah. I mean, I work in a, I work in a school district, so I've been seeing, you know, through COVID, after COVID. In one of the schools that I work at, in an elementary school, really young kids, they do wellness morning on Wednesdays. And they just take 10 minutes and all the kids just do deep breathing and just starts their day. And even now like at the high school that I also work at, they they they do yoga for credit now. So it's like full circle is like really starting to come in together. Oh that's yeah, that makes my heart sing cause cause that's where the that's where the the passion and the. Like I I know the impact that it made on my life when I in in my journey. And if I can just help anybody, whether it's the students, whether it's the corporations, whether it's like it's really that's what I love, love, love doing and seeing a difference in somebody's. body language and somebody's difference in their their foreheads, not as wrinkled because they're stressed, like watching them walk in this lodge one way and then leave in such a different state, even if it was just for that hour, and they're going to go back the next day, and probably because again, it's a practice. It takes a lot of it's not overnight. It's a journey. It's it. It's not overnight, but that's not a marathon. It's not a marathon and I would not have wanted it any other way. Like I said it cause that would have been too much. I think like like it would have been too much nervous system, too much on. Yeah. So and that's what I'm really, really hoping to with the hands on heart approach. It's a five step thing. If I can get everybody to just do this five step thing and they're doing it between before every classroom starts, before every boardroom starts. Can you imagine just. Five steps and just taking three cleansing breaths and in what the how the world would shift and how it would change. Be amazing and trying to keep it real simple. Yes. And then it goes far. Yeah. So I need to wrap this episode up, but I know you're starting a podcast. I'd love for you just to talk about what the concept is. OK, so yes, I will be launching a pod, my podcast, Leading with Love. It's part of the Leading with Love movement and everything that that I'm about and putting out into the world. And it's really to have conversations like this about how there could be a different way. I've done, I've recorded a bunch of interviews already getting ready and I've had the most beautiful conversations with heart-centered leaders who have not always led that way and had have shifted. And the one thing that is in common with everyone is that the leadership is not outside of you, the it's not external. It's internal. And when I started doing my inner work, when I started awakening my inner leader, when I started awakening, all these conversations just are all, that's what's in common, is that once I went inward, once I started doing the inner work, the inner child work, the this work, that the show, all of it. When I started being e ven aware. It starts with the awareness that that is human, right? Like just being aware that it isn't outside of me that I should be seeking this worth, this self, this. It's called self-love for a reason. It's not out there, it's in here. And then when we hone all of that self-awareness, that self-acceptance, that self-compassion, that self-love, then we become better leaders because we did the inner work and now we're not short and we're not. As easily triggered. Of course we're still gonna get triggered, but we're not gonna waste them when we do get triggered because we're gonna go, oh, that's something in me that's not your fault and putting the blame on everybody else like a lot of people do, right?Like, so it's just taking that radical responsibility as a. Be as a human being and as a leader and these conversations are beautiful. So I'll be launching that. It's called Leading with Love and it's just to go dive a little bit deeper into maybe a workshop that we're doing at the lodge. Like it's all tying into. I have a free Facebook group, Leading with Love Movement. It's free to join and that's where again the questions are asked, some journaling prompts and stuff to to get just keep this conversation going. And then of course with Pat, what better way to do that than with the podcast. So yeah, starting with movement is gonna start in my little beautiful Essex County and it's gonna gonna grow. I feel it's gonna flourish everywhere. I can't wait to listen to the podcast. So you're gonna have to let me know when it comes out. So I always love to end with where can people find you?Social media, website, any offerings? I do have my website .com I think you'll put it in the show notes. NATYSHAK. That shows you that you can join the Leading with Love movement. That's right at the top, cause that's at the top of my heart right now. But there is ways to work with me one-on-one. I do virtual one-on-one coaching and breath work sessions for an hour. I have packs of 10. I'm about to launch with a partner a coaching program, but we're gonna do it in a group. Setting and just my my partner is she's been my spiritual mentor for the last two years and we're going to be able to just put all of this juicy business, spiritual work, all of this into into a beautiful container, three-month container for coaching. But yeah, it's it's been quite a different last couple of years than the last 25 before that. And I'm so proud of myself that I said yes to myself because if I hadn't, I would be doing the same thing. And again, I am not advocating that anybody, I did a lot of my best work at in that environment. Yeah. Because that's where the triggers were. That's where I that's where I was dismissing myself. That's where I was. It was nobody's fault. I did not blame anybody around me, my partners, my my family. It was a family business. It was no blame on anybody. It was, oh, I forgot about me. Is that in alignment with me?The work started at in that environment and it was a beautiful place to start. So you can still keep the same job. You can still stay in corporate. You can still stay whatever it is that you're doing. You can just show up differently and stop and and go in, go in with alignment in mind. Amazing, Jenny. Yes. Thank you so much. This is so much fun. And then then you're going to come on on my podcast as my guest. Yes. Yeah. Thank you so much, Jenny. I love this conversation so much. This will launch next Monday. So friends, we will see you then. Have a blessed, blessed day. Thank you.