Trusting God With Our Personalities

Are you a personality quiz nerd like us? This week we share each other’s Strengthsfinder results and discuss how God makes each of us with our own personalities and strengths.

Resources:

Self assessments:

Clifton Strengthsfinder

Myers Briggs assessment

Enneagram test

‌

Other:

Words that Hurt, Words that Heal

@thisistrustworthy

trustworthypodcast.com

Email us listen@trustworthypodcast.com

Transcript

0.000000 2.500000 Is God trustworthy?
2.500000 5.000000 Hi, I'm Sarah.
5.000000 7.000000 And I'm Mary Beth.
7.000000 12.000000 Join us as we seek to answer this question through whole-hearted conversation.
12.000000 18.000000 Discover the wit and wisdom that comes from being anchored in Christ and connected to one another.
18.000000 21.000000 This is Trustworthy.
21.000000 34.000000 [Music]
34.000000 37.000000 On today's episode of Trustworthy,
37.000000 41.000000 you probably express yourself with ease and grace.
41.000000 43.000000 [Laughter]
43.000000 45.000000 Do not agree with that.
45.000000 48.000000 Wow, this is frighteningly spot-on.
48.000000 55.000000 We can trust that God is going to work within us to bring these traits to fruition.
55.000000 66.000000 [Music]
66.000000 68.000000 Well, hey there, Mary Beth.
68.000000 71.000000 Hello, Sarah. We're back.
71.000000 72.000000 Yes, we are.
72.000000 77.000000 We are back in Trustworthy land, as you have referred to it.
77.000000 81.000000 We're on our pen-ultimate season one episode.
81.000000 93.000000 Today, we're talking about ourselves and each other in this episode on Trustworthy about personality.
93.000000 95.000000 Wait a minute. We're talking about ourselves.
95.000000 96.000000 Shocking.
96.000000 99.000000 Yeah, that should come as a surprise to no one.
99.000000 104.000000 We're going to discuss how each of us are made differently, what our strengths are.
104.000000 107.000000 We love a good personality assessment.
107.000000 108.000000 Yes, we do.
108.000000 114.000000 Whether it's enneagram or disc or Myers-Briggs or what have you.
114.000000 118.000000 Today, we're going to talk about strengthsfinder.
118.000000 124.000000 How do you feel about talking about your personality and personalities in general, Sarah?
124.000000 128.000000 I've been looking forward to it because I knew we were going to talk about this.
128.000000 140.000000 The part that I'm most looking forward to is finding out what your personality and strengths finder results are.
140.000000 144.000000 And deciding whether or not I think they're apt.
144.000000 146.000000 I'm a little nervous about you doing that for me.
146.000000 148.000000 I think it's fun.
148.000000 156.000000 I love any type of personality, spiritual gift assessment, strengths test, career assessment.
156.000000 157.000000 I've done a lot of them.
157.000000 162.000000 Yes, I know which Disney princess are you.
162.000000 168.000000 I also started my working life in an office at the time when Buzzfeed quizzes are really big.
168.000000 169.000000 I don't know if you know what those are.
169.000000 170.000000 Oh, I think they still are.
170.000000 173.000000 And so that was a lot of "which TV show character are you"
173.000000 176.000000 So all my office mates and I would take them all.
176.000000 181.000000 It was like the modern version of the 17 magazine quizzes we used to do.
181.000000 182.000000 Oh, yeah, I remember that.
182.000000 184.000000 Those were so fun.
184.000000 186.000000 And a little ridiculous.
186.000000 188.000000 Yeah, they were very ridiculous.
188.000000 190.000000 Who will you marry or?
190.000000 191.000000 Oh, do you remember?
191.000000 195.000000 We used to make these little, I don't know what they were.
195.000000 200.000000 These little foldable paper games that you would some sort of origami.
200.000000 205.000000 Yeah, like you have your thumb and your pointer finger and you do it back and forth.
205.000000 208.000000 They would have like numbers and letters and colors and you would choose it.
208.000000 213.000000 And then once it was all opened up based on the person's choice, you would find out who your secret is.
213.000000 215.000000 Who your secret crush was?
215.000000 218.000000 Who's for what kind of car you were going to have?
218.000000 222.000000 It's kind of like mash, but how many babies you were going to have different version.
222.000000 223.000000 Mash.
223.000000 224.000000 You remember mash?
224.000000 226.000000 I do.
226.000000 227.000000 What was it?
227.000000 229.000000 Mansion apartment shack house.
229.000000 230.000000 That's right.
230.000000 231.000000 Oh my gosh.
231.000000 232.000000 Good times.
232.000000 233.000000 Pre-technology.
233.000000 235.000000 Smart phone age.
235.000000 237.000000 We actually would make up our own stuff.
237.000000 238.000000 Do stuff.
238.000000 239.000000 Cats cradle.
239.000000 240.000000 Remember cats cradle with the yarn.
240.000000 241.000000 The string.
241.000000 242.000000 Yeah, the string.
242.000000 243.000000 Wow.
243.000000 244.000000 We digress.
244.000000 245.000000 We digress.
245.000000 246.000000 Okay.
246.000000 248.000000 So we have both done a lot of different personality tests.
248.000000 258.000000 We've thought today we could talk about how our personalities play into life and walking out our faith and how God has made each of us.
258.000000 264.000000 And we chose to share our clifton strength finder results.
264.000000 269.000000 We're not advocating specifically for strength finder, but we thought it would be a good one to share.
269.000000 272.000000 So if you've never taken it, it is out there.
272.000000 274.000000 You do have to pay for it, I think.
274.000000 278.000000 But it comes with like a book and a guide to kind of help you assess your top five strengths.
278.000000 280.000000 That's my brief little entrance.
280.000000 281.000000 Yeah.
281.000000 287.000000 And I also want to say that the clifton strengths finder was originally started by Don Clifton.
287.000000 296.000000 And it comes from the idea that instead of focusing on negative or personality flaws or things that you're doing wrong,
296.000000 302.000000 how can we sort of move through our life focusing on the things that are our strengths.
302.000000 309.000000 And obviously as Christians and children of God, that is something that we want to do.
309.000000 316.000000 We want to focus on the good, on the positive, and how we can use those things to make a difference in the world.
316.000000 322.000000 I actually did my string finder for the first time in a class at the church I was attending at the time because our discussion was,
322.000000 327.000000 how can we use our strengths to better serve the church? It was a church plant. We were very young.
327.000000 334.000000 So we were assessing what strengths are we bringing to the table in this small group of people that can help kind of build and develop the church.
334.000000 335.000000 And it was really helpful.
335.000000 337.000000 But I think it's applicable to a lot of different things.
337.000000 339.000000 Oh, yeah. It's often used in business.
339.000000 346.000000 I received my strengths finder as a gift from my husband when we were dating.
346.000000 349.000000 And then I think I'll just leave that right there.
349.000000 354.000000 You've been displaying those strengths ever since.
354.000000 357.000000 A big cheerleader for me.
354.000000 354.000000 Yes.
357.000000 358.000000 Nice.
358.000000 359.000000 Okay, let's get into it.
359.000000 371.000000 Well, I have a copy, freshly printed, hot off the press copy of Mary Beth's strengths finder top five strengths results.
371.000000 373.000000 Sarah has not seen these before.
373.000000 375.000000 I have not seen these before.
375.000000 382.000000 So you're going to read them and then react and think based on how well you know me at this point in our lives.
382.000000 385.000000 They are accurate or surprising.
385.000000 388.000000 Oh, and then I will do the same for you after we have.
388.000000 389.000000 Okay.
389.000000 394.000000 Without any further ado, here are Mary Beth's top five strengths.
394.000000 397.000000 And I will read one at a time.
397.000000 400.000000 Adaptability.
400.000000 406.000000 Ooh, you live in the moment, Mary Beth. You don't see the future as a fixed destination.
406.000000 413.000000 Instead, you see it as a place that you can create out of the choices that you make right now.
413.000000 417.000000 And so you discover your future one choice at a time.
417.000000 422.000000 It also says in here that you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours.
422.000000 425.000000 You expect them.
425.000000 429.000000 I would say that this is very good description of you.
429.000000 437.000000 When stuff has come up for us in the podcast, changes whether it be scheduling or topic,
437.000000 444.000000 you're very quick to let go of what we had already decided and grasp the thing that's new.
444.000000 446.000000 I really appreciate that.
446.000000 447.000000 Well, thank you.
447.000000 448.000000 Yeah.
448.000000 449.000000 Okay. Moving on.
449.000000 450.000000 Number two.
450.000000 452.000000 Moving on. Number two.
452.000000 454.000000 Activator.
454.000000 456.000000 Ooh.
456.000000 462.000000 When can we start? This is a recurring question in your life.
462.000000 464.000000 Also very apt.
464.000000 471.000000 When I randomly said to you, "Hey, would you want to record a podcast with me?"
471.000000 474.000000 You said, "When can we start?"
474.000000 476.000000 I think that's exactly what you said.
476.000000 478.000000 She responded immediately.
478.000000 479.000000 Yep.
479.000000 481.000000 I would say that you're definitely an activator.
481.000000 482.000000 Okay.
482.000000 487.000000 Only action leads to performance. Only action can make things happen.
487.000000 488.000000 That's interesting.
488.000000 492.000000 You're not going to wait around until all the lights have turned green.
492.000000 494.000000 Action and thinking are not opposites.
494.000000 502.000000 In fact, guided by your activator theme, you believe the action is the best device for learning.
502.000000 503.000000 Ooh.
503.000000 505.000000 That's a good one.
505.000000 508.000000 I'm a big fan of learning by doing.
508.000000 515.000000 I'm definitely more of the forgiveness is easier than permission approach, for better or worse.
515.000000 518.000000 Okay.
518.000000 519.000000 Next.
519.000000 520.000000 Here we go.
520.000000 521.000000 Responsibility.
521.000000 531.000000 Oh, well, your responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to.
531.000000 538.000000 And whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion.
538.000000 541.000000 Your good name depends on it.
541.000000 542.000000 Whoa.
542.000000 543.000000 Talk about baggage.
543.000000 546.000000 We can talk about that later in this.
546.000000 549.000000 Well, I think we discussed this last week with great power.
549.000000 551.000000 It comes great responsibility.
551.000000 554.000000 So there's a light and a dark to all of these.
554.000000 565.000000 I think that this is especially important for me because as I've mentioned before, I had this idea for a podcast for a long time.
565.000000 574.000000 But having someone doing it with me, that's a driver that's also committed and showing up and willing to put the work in to get it done.
574.000000 594.000000 It's only taking responsibility.
594.000000 606.000000 I just think back though to my poor friends when I was a teenager and I had this strength, they called me mother half the time because I was a responsible one.
606.000000 612.000000 And I always felt like I had to look out for everybody, make sure I was doing what they needed to be doing and not getting a trouble.
612.000000 620.000000 And yeah, so for teenagers who have this lovely strength, sometimes their friends don't see it as a string.
620.000000 626.000000 As a parent, I hope my parents appreciated it immensely that I was the responsible one, but.
626.000000 628.000000 All right, so that was three, right?
628.000000 631.000000 So adaptability, activator, responsibility.
631.000000 632.000000 Okay.
632.000000 633.000000 Do more.
633.000000 635.000000 The next strength is command.
635.000000 638.000000 Ooh, I like that one.
638.000000 641.000000 Command leads you to take charge.
641.000000 647.000000 Unlike some people, you feel no discomfort with imposing your views on others.
647.000000 649.000000 That's such a nice way to say that.
649.000000 650.000000 It is.
650.000000 652.000000 This is also why I'm glad you're my friend.
652.000000 658.000000 But I'm not quite sure how to approach a situation because I'm too caught up in my emotions about it.
658.000000 660.000000 You're like, yeah, just cut to the chase.
660.000000 662.000000 Just cut to the chase.
662.000000 663.000000 Here's the facts.
663.000000 665.000000 Let's figure it out.
665.000000 674.000000 On the contrary to the discomfort of imposing your opinion, once your opinion is formed, you need to share it with others.
674.000000 680.000000 Also, once your goal is set, you feel restless until you have aligned others with you.
680.000000 685.000000 That is a good trait to have to lead a team of people.
685.000000 687.000000 If they're on board what you're doing here.
687.000000 689.000000 Or a family.
689.000000 692.000000 If they're on board.
692.000000 695.000000 I like this other aspect of the command.
695.000000 701.000000 It says you need things to be clear between people and challenge them to be clear-eyed and honest.
701.000000 703.000000 You push them to take risks.
703.000000 705.000000 I think that's important.
705.000000 712.000000 It's also been helpful in this because we can be more focused on what we're trying to accomplish.
712.000000 716.000000 It helps align my thinking to our mission of doing this podcast.
716.000000 718.000000 Keep me on track.
718.000000 721.000000 Oh.
721.000000 724.000000 It does say you may even intimidate some people.
724.000000 725.000000 Accurate.
725.000000 726.000000 Yeah.
726.000000 727.000000 I can see that.
727.000000 730.000000 I probably was intimidated.
759.000000 760.000000 Oh, this is a good one.
760.000000 763.000000 The last one is restorative.
763.000000 766.000000 You love to solve problems.
766.000000 771.000000 Whereas some artists may...when they encounter yet another breakdown,
771.000000 774.000000 you can be energized by it.
774.000000 777.000000 You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms,
777.000000 781.000000 identifying what is wrong, and finding the solution.
781.000000 785.000000 This was the one that I think when I first did the Strengthsfinder thing
785.000000 787.000000 was the most surprising to me.
787.000000 793.000000 I believe that's only because I had not been given a lot of problem solving opportunities.
793.000000 795.000000 I was really young when I took this.
795.000000 798.000000 And so I just hadn't been able to really see that in my life yet.
798.000000 800.000000 But now I am on board.
800.000000 801.000000 I say yes.
801.000000 802.000000 I am a problem solver.
802.000000 804.000000 Don't sit around looking at the problem.
804.000000 805.000000 Let's fix it.
805.000000 807.000000 I would agree with that.
807.000000 810.000000 As some of you listeners may know or may guess,
810.000000 813.000000 there are a lot of moving parts
813.000000 819.000000 and behind the scenes work that goes into producing these approximately half-hour episodes
819.000000 822.000000 that we put out in the world every week.
822.000000 824.000000 And we are enjoying doing it.
824.000000 827.000000 And there are things that come up.
827.000000 829.000000 And so I've really appreciated that.
829.000000 832.000000 I would not want to do this alone.
832.000000 833.000000 Yeah.
833.000000 839.000000 I think that these personality traits or strengths that have been discussed here
839.000000 842.000000 in these last few minutes really, they describe you pretty well.
842.000000 850.000000 And I've noticed these things evident in my interaction with you and in our friendship.
850.000000 851.000000 So...
851.000000 854.000000 Well thanks for observing all of those and honoring them.
854.000000 856.000000 I like the way God made you.
856.000000 857.000000 Thank you.
857.000000 858.000000 Yeah.
858.000000 860.000000 You can give him all the credit for that.
860.000000 861.000000 Okay.
861.000000 863.000000 And then we don't want to divert too much.
863.000000 865.000000 But there is nature vs nurture.
865.000000 867.000000 I'm sure my parents get some credit on there too.
867.000000 868.000000 Oh, probably.
868.000000 874.000000 But I will say, God, thank you for making Mary Beth the way you did in letting her be my friend.
874.000000 875.000000 Amen.
875.000000 877.000000 Amen.
877.000000 880.000000 Well, should we reveal who Sarah is?
880.000000 882.000000 Do we have to?
882.000000 883.000000 Yes.
883.000000 884.000000 I'm in the hot seat now.
884.000000 886.000000 Here we go, Sarah.
886.000000 888.000000 Your top five themes.
888.000000 892.000000 One, strategic.
892.000000 900.000000 You are someone who creates alternative ways to proceed faced with any given scenario.
900.000000 905.000000 You can quickly spot their relevant patterns and issues.
905.000000 907.000000 The wheels are always turning in your brain.
907.000000 909.000000 So this does not surprise me at all.
909.000000 915.000000 And you have in the course of your life and true to this day.
915.000000 921.000000 Been in positions where you are leading teams, driving things.
921.000000 926.000000 Seeing the big picture for things starting a podcast, making your dreams come true.
926.000000 929.000000 I know that sounds cheesy, but I think that that's part of this.
929.000000 931.000000 This is what it says: driven by your talents.
931.000000 935.000000 You select the right combination of words to convey your ideas or feelings.
935.000000 941.000000 In the middle of discussions, your vocabulary provides you with precise phrases and terminology.
941.000000 947.000000 You probably express yourself with ease and grace.
947.000000 949.000000 Do not agree with that.
949.000000 952.000000 You don't think you express yourself with ease and grace.
952.000000 958.000000 I have gotten the feedback that I do, but it sounds too nice.
958.000000 960.000000 Yeah. Well, a strength finder is nice.
960.000000 964.000000 Remember it's a positive assessment of our strength.
964.000000 967.000000 What's interesting to me about this strategic thing is it's two parts.
967.000000 969.000000 It's you can express yourself well.
969.000000 976.000000 And then it says, you're likely to help others envision what can be accomplished in the coming months, years or decades.
976.000000 983.000000 I think your ability to communicate those things, not everybody can translate that from head to spoken word.
983.000000 985.000000 I definitely know that's a strength.
985.000000 986.000000 Thank you.
986.000000 989.000000 I just saw the next one and I'm chuckling because no big surprise.
989.000000 991.000000 Communication is your second one.
991.000000 994.000000 You find it easy to put your thoughts into words.
994.000000 998.000000 You're a good conversationalist and presenter.
998.000000 1005.000000 You might participate in conferences, seminars or classes when ideas are exchanged about how to make things better.
1005.000000 1011.000000 It says by nature, you rarely avoid telling people about yourself, your experiences or even your shortcomings.
1011.000000 1014.000000 You're comfortable emitting all sorts of things about yourself.
1014.000000 1017.000000 And you probably want to share what you know with others.
1017.000000 1021.000000 And when you're involved in a group discussion, you typically add to it.
1021.000000 1022.000000 Yeah.
1022.000000 1025.000000 We're in a small group together, small group Bible study.
1025.000000 1033.000000 And Sarah always has great insights and is not afraid to kind of help the conversation roll along, bring up some new ideas.
1033.000000 1036.000000 I think all those are wonderful things.
1036.000000 1037.000000 Yeah.
1037.000000 1039.000000 I would agree with that description.
1039.000000 1058.000000 And it really brings to mind a commitment that I made to God several years ago about talking about the hard things, talking about the pain that I've been through, the bad decisions that I've made, that have caused pain for myself and for other people.
1058.000000 1070.000000 In the hopes that someone else can be helped, and that's a driving force behind why we're putting these episodes into the world.
1070.000000 1082.000000 Is the hope that someone somewhere someday can hear something that helps them understand more of who they are in God.
1082.000000 1090.000000 Maybe this is overly dramatic, but if we can save the life of one person, then it was all worth it.
1090.000000 1091.000000 I love that.
1091.000000 1108.000000 And clearly God has prompted you to use your strengths to create this platform and everything else you're involved with in your life that he has given you the strength of communication for his glory and for ministry.
1108.000000 1109.000000 All these things can be used.
1109.000000 1112.000000 And now I thank you.
1112.000000 1113.000000 Next.
1113.000000 1116.000000 Woo.
1116.000000 1117.000000 Woo.
1117.000000 1118.000000 Oh, different.
1118.000000 1119.000000 Woo.
1119.000000 1120.000000 Woo.
1119.000000 1119.000000 Okay.
1120.000000 1128.000000 People who are especially talented in the woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over.
1128.000000 1133.000000 You get satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.
1133.000000 1146.000000 When I think woo I think of people who are kind of people magnets, people are drawn to you because you easily connect with them and you connect with others that says you probably engage outsiders in small talk.
1146.000000 1147.000000 Yes.
1147.000000 1156.000000 We went to a coffee shop and you already had a relationship with the owner and within five minutes were talking to him about other things about his coffee shop.
1156.000000 1160.000000 Whereas I go in and just place my order and leave.
1160.000000 1166.000000 It's very likely that you get a thrill from encouraging newcomers or outsiders to join discussions or engage in small talk.
1166.000000 1171.000000 You probably have a gift for finding things to talk about when you meet someone for the first time.
1171.000000 1175.000000 Sarah, I do not have woo.
1175.000000 1182.000000 And while you might think this is of course, yeah, of course, talk to new people talk about things, find connections.
1182.000000 1187.000000 It doesn't come naturally for a lot of us. We need wooers.
1187.000000 1189.000000 So we need you in the world.
1189.000000 1195.000000 I need you in my life to make connections with me and with other people with ideas.
1195.000000 1198.000000 Do you feel like we was accurate?
1198.000000 1199.000000 Yes.
1199.000000 1202.000000 I just spent my career in sales.
1202.000000 1203.000000 Yeah.
1203.000000 1207.000000 It would be very challenging to be in sales and not.
1207.000000 1215.000000 Well, I don't know if it'd be more challenging but at least probably less enjoyable to be in sales and not have some woo.
1215.000000 1217.000000 We've got two more. Are you ready?
1217.000000 1219.000000 Are you feeling uncomfortable yet?
1219.000000 1221.000000 I'm okay. I'm hanging in there.
1221.000000 1225.000000 Number four, input.
1225.000000 1228.000000 You have a craving to know more.
1228.000000 1232.000000 You like to collect and archive all kinds of information.
1232.000000 1237.000000 Chances are good that you might be well read in particular subjects.
1237.000000 1241.000000 Some people whom you have befriended may turn to you for guidance.
1241.000000 1248.000000 The sum of your findings probably allows you to determine what started and eventually ended.
1248.000000 1250.000000 Global conflicts.
1250.000000 1253.000000 This is very specific description.
1253.000000 1259.000000 Are you especially drawn to first-hand accounts of global conflicts there?
1259.000000 1267.000000 I guess the answer to that is yes because I studied history in college and I have a whole bookcase full of history.
1267.000000 1269.000000 Wow. Clifton, way to go.
1269.000000 1282.000000 And I love research genealogy in Ancestry and I could stand and talk to someone for hours about how their families connected to certain events.
1282.000000 1284.000000 Wow. This is frighteningly spot on.
1284.000000 1286.000000 Here you go.
1286.000000 1291.000000 You cast your net for information far and wide.
1291.000000 1295.000000 Hey, if there's wisdom in the multitude of counselors, just saying.
1295.000000 1297.000000 See, these are God-given strengths.
1297.000000 1300.000000 Although there's a dark side to that.
1300.000000 1301.000000 Analysis paralysis.
1301.000000 1302.000000 Yeah.
1302.000000 1305.000000 Sometimes I research too much.
1305.000000 1306.000000 Yeah.
1306.000000 1324.000000 And then also I had a therapist caution me once not to get too caught up in researching and coming up with contingency plans in the event that something terrible happens because you can spend too much time rehearsing tragedy.
1324.000000 1326.000000 And that's not healthy.
1326.000000 1333.000000 So as a researcher and a preparer, I try to limit my preparation.
1333.000000 1334.000000 Yeah.
1334.000000 1343.000000 So yes, I have the 25 year shelf life food ark on the shelf in the basement, one for each person in my family.
1343.000000 1344.000000 And then I'm done.
1344.000000 1346.000000 I'll worry about the water some other time.
1346.000000 1348.000000 Here you go.
1348.000000 1354.000000 See, this is why we need each other in our lives because I am an activator.
1354.000000 1358.000000 So I'm just going to be out there doing whatever I need to do right now to survive.
1358.000000 1362.000000 And then when all of that runs out, you're going to have the supplies.
1362.000000 1363.000000 Yes.
1363.000000 1366.000000 I'm going to be knocking on your door.
1366.000000 1372.000000 You're like, hey, but I'm going to draw you out though before we go to that point and say, come on Sarah, we got to go do something about it.
1372.000000 1373.000000 This is true.
1373.000000 1379.000000 We are really suited to do a podcast with each other.
1379.000000 1383.000000 Good balance of very good balance.
1383.000000 1393.000000 Okay, final one for Sarah, individualization, you are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person.
1393.000000 1397.000000 You have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
1397.000000 1401.000000 Is that literally what you just said about this podcast?
1401.000000 1404.000000 Can't get away from your strengths.
1404.000000 1407.000000 Oh my goodness, they follow me everywhere I go.
1407.000000 1415.000000 Driven by your talents, you might aid certain individuals by making recommendations suggesting changes or providing advice.
1415.000000 1417.000000 To some degree, you feel this is your forte.
1417.000000 1418.000000 That is strength.
1418.000000 1424.000000 Chances are good that you sometimes offer guidance to friends who seek your assistance.
1424.000000 1432.000000 And instinctively, you occasionally pinpoint the unique qualities, motivations, preferences, etc. of certain people.
1432.000000 1442.000000 You might compliment those who freely share bits of their knowledge skills or talents with their teammates, classmates, colleagues, co-workers, friends or family members.
1442.000000 1447.000000 It's so fascinating to me how God pieces all of these together.
1447.000000 1456.000000 Your five strengths, I feel are very people oriented relationship focused.
1456.000000 1462.000000 Yes, bringing out the best in others, I feel like that is absolutely how you are.
1462.000000 1470.000000 Well, we discussed back in the very first episode how I'm more touchy-feely, you're more matter of fact.
1470.000000 1474.000000 I'm more of an empath, you're more of, what's the opposite of that?
1474.000000 1477.000000 Not empath, a jerk.
1477.000000 1481.000000 I love you so much.
1481.000000 1497.000000 What I was going to say is that all I'm out there, wooing people and complimenting them for their input and different things and communicating about it, you're like, okay, all right, let's move forward.
1497.000000 1507.000000 Let's do this and let's also make sure that we're dealing with the changes that are coming up or taking responsibility to follow through on what we promised.
1507.000000 1513.000000 But here's an interesting question. Mary Beth.
1513.000000 1514.000000 Lay it on me.
1514.000000 1521.000000 After we've discussed all these things, you have adaptability, activator, responsibility, command and restorative.
1521.000000 1524.000000 Here's my question and I'm going to set the question up this way.
1524.000000 1530.000000 You do not have to answer with just the Clifton's strengths, finder information.
1530.000000 1535.000000 Which personality trait do you wish that you had?
1535.000000 1538.000000 That's such a loaded question.
1538.000000 1552.000000 As evidence in the ways in which I have hurt people in my life by my bluntness and boldness and words, I would say, maybe it's this last one of yours, which I'm honestly not as familiar with.
1552.000000 1554.000000 Individualization.
1554.000000 1563.000000 If I'm intrigued by the qualities of others and I'm looking to help others instead of just voicing my own opinion all the time.
1563.000000 1567.000000 I think that would be a helpful filter for me.
1567.000000 1569.000000 Whatever, I don't know exactly if that's right word.
1569.000000 1575.000000 Whatever the trait is that would help my words land with the softer blow.
1575.000000 1577.000000 That's what I want for myself.
1577.000000 1582.000000 Can you take the word blow out of the description like land softer?
1582.000000 1583.000000 Exactly. That's the start.
1583.000000 1586.000000 Maybe that's the start, Mary Beth. Maybe don't punch people with your words.
1586.000000 1588.000000 Oh my goodness. That would be it.
1588.000000 1599.000000 Maybe the word empathy is so overused, but the ability to sort of put yourself in someone else's shoes and see the world from their perspective.
1599.000000 1606.000000 Or maybe have a better understanding of how you're perceived.
1606.000000 1607.000000 I don't know.
1607.000000 1611.000000 I'm not really sure because I know that you care.
1611.000000 1615.000000 First of all, let's establish this, I do not think that you're a jerk.
1615.000000 1616.000000 Thank you.
1624.000000 1633.000000 But the way that you say things is very straightforward, especially in the climate in which we live now, that's reinforced by the insular way that we live our lives, getting feedback loops from our social media.
1633.000000 1635.000000 You don't get a newspaper anymore.
1635.000000 1639.000000 And I'm not trying to discuss which newspaper is lean which way or whatever.
1639.000000 1641.000000 And this is not a political discussion.
1641.000000 1649.000000 This is just if you prefer certain things, you're going to get more of that in today's society.
1649.000000 1652.000000 100 years ago, that was not the case.
1652.000000 1660.000000 Any interactions you had with people might result in any sorts of types of things happening or information coming to you.
1660.000000 1667.000000 Even now, someone that's blunt and straightforward needs to keep being blunt and straightforward.
1667.000000 1672.000000 People need to learn that they can't always feel happy every time.
1672.000000 1677.000000 It's okay to feel uncomfortable because that means that there's something that we need to pay attention to.
1677.000000 1681.000000 So I would just encourage you to be more of who you are.
1681.000000 1687.000000 And the second part of the question was which personality trait has caused you the most pain?
1687.000000 1689.000000 And I think you answered that.
1689.000000 1690.000000 Yeah.
1690.000000 1694.000000 And that has been an area where I can think back to high school.
1694.000000 1700.000000 There's a devotional book that I read and studied called words that hurt words that heal.
1700.000000 1703.000000 So I was aware of it from a very young age.
1703.000000 1711.000000 And thankfully, I trust that the Holy Spirit has been changing my heart and some of that.
1711.000000 1717.000000 Because there is this mix when we talk about personalities of how God has made us that he has made us with the purpose.
1717.000000 1732.000000 But we also live in a sinful, fallen world and those things that are even strengths can easily be turned upside down and cause problems and pain for other people.
1732.000000 1737.000000 And that is where I have sought the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
1737.000000 1745.000000 The more I've known myself, how God made me, the more I've had the opportunity to trust that he can.
1745.000000 1756.000000 Kind of define and divide between what is the good way he has made me versus how do I need to grow in that area and maybe open up more to some sanctification?
1756.000000 1762.000000 How do we develop more positive character traits if we don't have them?
1762.000000 1765.000000 Philippians 1:6.
1765.000000 1775.000000 Being confident of this, the he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
1775.000000 1787.000000 As God works within us and the indwelling Holy Spirit affects change in our lives, we can start to see the fruit of these changes.
1787.000000 1790.000000 Galatians 5, 22 and 23.
1790.000000 1800.000000 The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace of forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control against such things.
1800.000000 1805.000000 There is no law. And by the way, forbearance is patience.
1805.000000 1816.000000 When we are living our lives, surrender to God and allowing him to do the work in our lives,
1816.000000 1826.000000 consistently taking an inventory, asking him to search our heart so that we can know what our sinful ways are.
1826.000000 1831.000000 He will prove faithful and complete the good work that he started.
1831.000000 1838.000000 We can see the fruit in ourselves and in others when we do that.
1838.000000 1853.000000 So maybe if there's some of these personality traits that we struggle with, some ways that we find ourselves letting ourselves down or breaking our own heart back to the episode for about not being able to trust ourselves,
1853.000000 1862.000000 we can trust that God is going to work within us to bring these traits to fruition, not to be too punny.
1862.000000 1869.000000 Galatians does not say, "For those of you with who, your fruit of the spirit, is going to be love and joy."
1869.000000 1873.000000 And for those of you with command, your fruit of the spirit is going to be faithfulness and goodness.
1873.000000 1883.000000 Now, all of them apply to all of us and we have access to all of them, no matter our differences and personality or strengths or make up.
1883.000000 1889.000000 The fruit of the spirit is growing in the spirit and all of that is accessible to us.
1889.000000 1900.000000 To me, that's where the rubber kind of meets the road of using our strengths to display all of these gifts in different ways.
1900.000000 1907.000000 It's a beautiful way that God has created humanity to be.
1907.000000 1917.000000 It's created in his image. And I would say that the fruit of the spirit is also a description of who God is, right?
1917.000000 1924.000000 Because God is the spirit, is the Trinity, the Holy Spirit is part of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit is of God.
1924.000000 1934.000000 God is loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, he's gentle, and he has a lot of self-control.
1934.000000 1942.000000 I think of all the times that Bible talks about how God is angry, but he is in control of that anchor.
1942.000000 1946.000000 Thankfully.
1946.000000 1949.000000 I have a question for you then, Sarah.
1949.000000 1957.000000 If you were closest friends and family were to describe you in a few words or phrases, what might they say?
1957.000000 1964.000000 And then part B of the question, is there anything you would push back on in your responses?
1964.000000 1968.000000 That's a great question.
1968.000000 1972.000000 I have an easy way to answer that.
1972.000000 1982.000000 In my office here, I have a little plaque that was a gift to me from my husband when we were dating maybe, or maybe when we first got married.
1982.000000 1994.000000 As we were dating, my mom had asked him, "So why do you love Sarah? Why do you want to marry her? What is it about her that you find compelling?"
1994.000000 2003.000000 And he responded by making a heart-shaped word cloud of all the things that he thought that I was.
2003.000000 2017.000000 Here are some optimistic, beauty attuned, delightful, thoughtful, when some creative, dedicated, gracious, flexible, funny, planning, Christ following, fascinating.
2017.000000 2021.000000 Oh, perceptive, clever. Well, he's some really nice things about me.
2021.000000 2024.000000 I told you, so I'm gonna take his cheer later.
2024.000000 2031.000000 Since then, I have a very good friend who also has complimented me on some of these same traits.
2031.000000 2038.000000 I would say this though. It's great to hear all those things, but it's hard for me to accept them.
2038.000000 2047.000000 And so if I would be pushing back on anything, I would probably push back on how great they make me sound.
2047.000000 2050.000000 Well, I think you're saying the pushback is receiving it.
2050.000000 2060.000000 The pushback is receiving. Yeah, it is easier to give than it is to receive in anything, whether it be help or just compliments.
2060.000000 2063.000000 How many years ago was that approximately? The joke gave that to you.
2063.000000 2064.000000 Seven years.
2064.000000 2073.000000 So in the past seven years, have you seen God work in you to hear those things more clearly, to hear them as truth?
2073.000000 2076.000000 Yes, I have. I actually have.
2076.000000 2086.000000 And I'm processing this right now. I'm just realizing that my husband giving me the strength's finders test, telling me these things about myself.
2086.000000 2093.000000 This is God's way, like bringing him into my life was God's way of me learning to accept who I am.
2093.000000 2111.000000 And working again on the same lines of agreeing with God about who I am, moving into different roles and different opportunities, like this podcast, that I would not have been ready to do seven years ago.
2111.000000 2121.000000 So yeah, I think he's doing a work in me to make me more, I guess it doesn't seem like humble, but it's humble.
2121.000000 2122.000000 Yeah.
2122.000000 2132.000000 How have you seen God working in your life to sort of smooth some of those rough edges in your personality?
2132.000000 2140.000000 As a teenager and growing up, so I was class president and I was captain of the swim team.
2140.000000 2144.000000 The leadership roles found to me quite often.
2144.000000 2151.000000 And I was fine with that. So how that has translated into my adult life.
2151.000000 2158.000000 I am not someone who will walk into a room and take over unnecessarily.
2158.000000 2170.000000 That may have been true when I was younger. So I've seen how God has given me the forbearance to say, Hey, you don't have to take over every situation.
2170.000000 2174.000000 And it's not worth your energy to do it a lot of times.
2174.000000 2181.000000 Leadership and command and activation can sometimes look like supporting whoever is already leading the way.
2181.000000 2193.000000 So that I think especially in the workplace that has played out that I am perfectly content to support good leaders and follow their lead and support their vision and be adaptable.
2193.000000 2198.000000 But if the occasion arises where no one is stepping up to the plate, happy to do it.
2198.000000 2205.000000 I have no qualms about it. And I think that there are times where God has put me in scenarios where there needed to be a leader.
2205.000000 2215.000000 And I'm perfectly content to do that. And I'm grateful that not to get all whatever.
2215.000000 2222.000000 But I'm grateful that we live in a day and age where we both have husbands who are supportive of those things about us.
2222.000000 2227.000000 It's like, yeah, you should be leading this thing and taking the charge and doing this.
2227.000000 2230.000000 And you do have these gifts and we can affirm those.
2230.000000 2239.000000 So I mean, marriages, as you all know, for sure, the fine tuning of my entire soul.
2239.000000 2242.000000 But I think it's just making us a little holier.
2242.000000 2245.000000 That's right. Whether we want to be holy or not.
2245.000000 2250.000000 And it also is that check on, oh, this is just the way my mind works.
2250.000000 2255.000000 This is just how I am built. It is not the end all be all of how things are.
2255.000000 2268.000000 That has been a good check to me. I also just want to mention this marriage relationships are great for that for sanctification, giving you a full length mirror to look into whether you want to or not.
2268.000000 2276.000000 But also I have found a lot of my emotional needs and other needs being met in my friendship relationships.
2276.000000 2284.000000 So it is great to be married and that is not the entire sum of the relationship that a person needs to have.
2284.000000 2289.000000 In fact, if you only interact with just your spouse, it will not end well.
2289.000000 2290.000000 Agreed.
2290.000000 2294.000000 There is more, well, women just talk more than men.
2294.000000 2303.000000 And it's sometimes easier to talk to one of your girlfriends about a certain topic than it is your husband.
2303.000000 2312.000000 And vice versa. And vice versa. There are things that my husband needs to talk to his guy friends about that I say, yes, please talk to about it.
2312.000000 2313.000000 Not me.
2313.000000 2314.000000 Not me.
2314.000000 2318.000000 Well, and maybe that is one of the takeaways for people listening to this.
2318.000000 2320.000000 They've gotten to know us a little better.
2320.000000 2329.000000 I would say if you have not done any of these personality assessments, we will include some links to some of the free ones that don't have to be strengthsfinder.
2329.000000 2336.000000 I would say talking about them like Sarah and I just did with a friend and processing it, especially for females who are good verbal processors.
2336.000000 2338.000000 We are good verbal processors.
2338.000000 2340.000000 Is a great start-up podcast.
2340.000000 2349.000000 For those who have never done one, I would say find some kind of personality assessment tests to take, process it with someone else.
2349.000000 2357.000000 And you will probably see as you do some self-examination, the ways that God already has shown up and kind of refining those things in your life.
2357.000000 2370.000000 It is a great way to, with specific purpose and intention, pray for yourself and those around you that God would use your strength and develop those fruits.
2370.850249 2377.430113 All of these things fall under the category of understanding what it is that God has given us.
2377.430113 2380.430113 God has made each of one of us unique.
2380.430113 2384.410703 There is no one else like us on this entire planet 
2384.596463 2388.134218 God sees you.
2388.134218 2393.791565 He knows you. He has made you different from anybody else.
2393.791565 2400.562381 He has a plan for you. And he has declared that you are good.
2400.562381 2403.956667 That's a lot to take in.
2403.956667 2411.956667 As Oscar Wilde said, be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
2411.956667 2415.956667 Thank you for listening to this episode of Trustworthy.
2415.956667 2421.956667 Join us for our season-finale episode where we will be answering your questions.
2421.956667 2426.956667 Until next time, this is Trustworthy.
2426.956667 2440.956667 [Music]
2440.956667 2443.956667 Hey y'all, Mary Beth here.
2443.956667 2447.956667 Sarah and I are so glad that you chose to listen to our podcast.
2447.956667 2450.956667 And while we think that we're awesome friends to have,
2450.956667 2453.956667 we just wanted to clarify that we are not mental health professionals.
2453.956667 2459.956667 And we want you to know that this podcast should not take the place of any paid professional advice.