The One With The Coffee Shops

In this episode of Trustworthy, Sarah and Mary Beth pour a cup and settle in for a cozy conversation about one of the most beloved “third places” in modern life: coffee shops.

From open mic nights in the 90s to driveway coffee gatherings during the pandemic, they trace how these spaces have shaped their sense of community, creativity, and connection. Along the way, they share listener reflections on what “community” really means—and how something as simple as sharing a cup of coffee can create moments of belonging, healing, and grace.

They also spotlight a few unforgettable stops from Sarah’s travels—from Blueprint Coffee Project in Sacramento to Blackbird Espresso in South Dakota—and talk about how many local coffee shops, including those started by churches and ministries, are helping people find real connection in a fast-paced world.

Whether you’re sipping a latte or chai, this episode invites you to slow down and reflect on where you’ve found community—and how you might help create it.

Resources:

Dosie Dough has been a part of the Lititz, PA community for almost 30 years! They had an outpost in Lancaster for some time, which is the one Sarah was referring to! https://dosiedough.com/about/

https://www.alabastercoffee.com Williamsport, PA

https://www.spearfishblackbird.com Spearfish, SD

​Elmisa Cafe | Rancho Bernardo Breakfast & Lunch Cafe

​blueprint coffee project

​chaddsford.coffeehouse (@chaddsford.coffeehouse)

​Local Bakery | OsoSweet | United States

Other coffee shops we have loved…

Lancaster, PA

​Square One Coffee Roasters

​Meancup Coffee -- Lancaster PA

​Cultivate Better | Copper Cup

Kennett Square

​Kennett Square Pennsylvania Coffee Shop

​Farmer & Co

​Talula's Table

@thisistrustworthy

trustworthypodcast.com

Email us listen@trustworthypodcast.com

Transcript

This is Trustworthy. Hi, I'm Sarah. And I'm Mary Beth. Join us for Conversations in Community, established by a trustworthy God. Well, hello there, Mary Beth. Hello, Sarah. There's an awkward silence. - Oh, now what do we do? - Typically, when there's an awkward silence in a conversation, you just wait. In negotiations, he who speaks first loses. - Does that translate to a podcast though? Will we just lose listeners if we're silent for too long? - I think that that would probably be what would happen. So it's opposite. Yeah, we need to keep talking. I like to talk. Speaking of talking, I was recently looking through old journals of poetry. Some originals. Yes. And this is. Oh, you're going to share one with us. Oh, I am. Because it ties into this discussion. Pages and pages of blank and unwritten pages waiting eagerly empty for me. for my thoughts, my wonderings, my wishes, my life, for parts, pieces and parcels of myself to fill them. Once they are full, I will be emptier, yet a little fuller for the telling. letting out myself onto papers is a filler to fulfill my life. Then there will be more of me than just what is inside. That was snaps. If you couldn't tell. How old were you when you heard that? I believe I was 19. Love it. Yeah. And telling because you have written a lot in your life. filled some pages virtual and actual. That takes us back to a time a long time ago. That poem would have been read aloud in an open mic poetry night. Most likely at one of the two coffee shops that I frequented at that time of my life, Monks Tunic in Lancaster, and then Cafe Angst, which opened up after Monks Tunic. They were contemporary coffee shops for some time. Both are long closed. Cafe, angst. That is an amazing name for, I'm guessing this was the 90s. Yeah, this was back in the 90s. This was when Friends was all the rage. And West Coast angsty bands were all the rage. Absolutely. It was a great place to hang out. We've been thinking a lot about community, of course, these last couple episodes. And as I have been thinking about this and Mary Beth and I have been talking to some folks and getting some ideas about community and just sort of looking for it around us. Coffee shops just kept coming up. This summer when I was on my trip, I found this really nice place in old Sacramento called blueprint coffee project. Coffee was delicious. The people were amazing. It's in beautiful Sacramento. Come to find out as we were doing research for this podcast. Uh, yes, it was started by a church, project church. So many churches look to start coffee shops as a place where people can come, where a community can flourish. Yeah, I was talking to Sarah before we started recording about this concept of a third place in our society. You have home, you have work or school depending on your station and life. And then there are these third places, which coffee shops kind of fill that void. Whereas it used to maybe be taverns or pubs at different times in culture and history. Coffee shops have kind of become that third place for community members to come, to spend time together, to talk through ideas and all of these things. I don't know what that will look like in 10 years from now in our culture, but I I think for the past probably 20 plus years, coffee shops have played a big role in that. And so we thought, what better thing to talk about than where we have found community at different times in our life through something as specific as coffee shops. And what Sarah was talking about, Christians all over the country are picking up on this idea that we need a place where people can come and belong, come together, share coffee, a tea, a small food, whatever it might be. - Chai, that's right. - Chai latte. - Polly's tea for me. - Do you do London fog? - I do upon occasion, yes. - Yeah. Coat tails, that's what we referred to them as in the first episode on "Community" we did this season. And this is a perfect coat tail. - Yep. - A coffee coat tail. A co, okay, I'll just stop. No words smithing today. - A tea tail. - In detail. All right. Well, Mary Beth, I would like to know, what did you find out when you asked some folks about what community means to them? - Yes. Thank you to those who may be listening whose answers I'm about to share. Anonymously, don't worry. I asked a few people in my life, what is community and asked them to respond to that? no further qualifications were given to the question, just to get a sense of how are other people understanding what this is in their lives? I would like to read some of those answers now. First one, I would say community is a sense of belonging, whether it be a place, group of people, or shared identity that people ascribe to. - That reminds me a lot of the dictionary definition that we had in our first episode. They did mention the sense of belonging, which is something that Lucely talked about in her interview last time. - That's right, that it's something everybody wants. Is that sense of belonging? - I can agree with that definition. All right, what's the next one? - A group of people who share a common belief in the love and presence of God here on earth and have the goal of tangibly demonstrating that to each other and the world around them through intentional actions and conversations. I like the relational emphasis of that. - That is really accurate. And I think describes the community of believers really well. - I would say mature. It's a very spiritually mature answer to have that big picture view of the goal, but also the specifics of intentional actions. - Intangible, tangible actions. tangible as in showing up to clean someone's toilet. - Oh, are you gonna do that for me today, Sarah? - Well, that was a thing. - Are you not afraid? - But, no. Just tangible, showing up in bringing meals to someone or giving a hug and encouraging message, a card, a text, a phone call, being present in someone's time of need. - Yeah, the gift of presence sometime is all needed. needed. Or in celebration too. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You ready for the next one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would say community is the people you choose to do daily life with. I like that. Yeah. I liked this one because it reminded me of people around town that I might see frequently, but I'm not super close with, but they're part of my community. There's parents at school there are the shops I frequent, the grocery store clerks I always run into, those type of things. That's what came to my mind. Yeah, and I think back to that Dunbar's number, you can only have so many actual friends. And we talk a lot about the five people that you surround yourself with. Really reminds me, okay, who am I surrounding? Who am I choosing? Who am I choosing? Key word, yeah. To do daily life with. All right. And then the final one, I think community is the people you serve and are served by. Whoa. That's a good one. I think that's also a reminder that we should be serving. A positioning of the heart and mind there. And also accepting the service of others, allowing others to serve us, which can be sometimes more difficult than doing the serving. Yep. Agreed. Thank you to those of you who shared those answers with me. It's always nice to get our wheels turning and get other people's perspectives because people sharpen other people and we need other perspectives. That's right. That's what makes community so. There you go. I know you were going to tie it back. I just knew it. I saw it coming. As we think about these definitions of community and maybe drill down into specifically how writing those coattails of coffee shops can tie into that, where you might have people who have these different expectations of community all in one place, right? Not every person is going to give the exact same answer of what community means. Correct. How have coffee shops built community for you or have you experienced community in them? Going back to the 90s, coffee shops were really starting to be a thing. I remember driving from school. I was on the main line outside of Philadelphia at that point to a place called La Tazza in Manyunk. And I was so excited because it was my first time I ever had French pressed coffee. Then when I moved to Lancaster County in the nineties as well, I found these two coffee shops, the Monks Tunic. And then after shortly after that, Cafe Angst opened up both on West Orange Street and Lancaster. The people there were accepting and kind and we automatically had something to talk about coffee or tea. You know, if there's some kind of hot beverage, some kind of hot beverage. Back then it was, I guess there was tea, but it was coffee. Yeah. There weren't as many fancy options, but we hung out there and there was poetry reading. And that was definitely popular at that time. There was a group of us that would be there almost every day, which in retrospect is kind of crazy to think about how did I have time in my life to go to a place every single day? But, you know, we were all young and single and it didn't have children. So responsibilities are much different. Yes. The great thing about that time in my life is that it showed me what acceptance could look like because I was one of a motley crew hanging out at those coffee shops and the other people accepted me for who I was. All right. So then as you got older, how else have coffee shops reflected community? Continuing the whole trend on the west side of Lancaster, there was a great place called Dosie Dough that was on Lemon Street, just a block from the house I lived in for 10 years. And so I used to spend, actually it was called something before that. And they had great breakfast, but also great coffee and community. Spent a lot of time with my friends working on the crossword puzzles and Sundays, drinking coffee. So how did you end up there with friends? Was this a planned thing? Was it spontaneous? Did you just make friends with the people that were there? What did it look like? - Yes. (laughs) So I would go up and I made friends with the people that were there, started to make friends with the workers. My aunt and uncle lived around the corner for me at that time as well. So sometimes I would see them. If I had guests staying with me in town, we would all go up together in the morning. Sometimes I would make plans, "Hey, let's meet up at such and such a time." But a lot of it was organic. Just whoever was there in the downtown Lancaster scene, used to all kind of hang around and drink coffee and then people go off to their various pursuits. - Is that something that you continued to seek out after you no longer lived there? How did this kind of concept of coffee shop stick with you? - Yeah, that's a good question. Well, I really like coffee. I started drinking coffee when I was 12. Nice. Yeah. I would say every time I moved, I found a place. Sometimes it was a coffee shop. Sometimes it was a cafe, but definitely a place where I enjoyed going, was able to connect with the people there and had a lot of fun just singing or reading poetry or whatever the creative pursuit was. And even when I moved here to this area of continued to look for places to hang out with friends and drink coffee. And then fast forward to COVID and all of that went away. Screeching halt, but Sarah said, not so fast, not so fast. I used that time to invest into a special coffee maker that can make lattes and espresso. - Well, when you're not going to the coffee shop, you could save up your money for a coffee machine. - It paid for itself quickly. One of the things I did was set up a driveway coffee shop. I put chairs and tables out in my driveway and purchased pre-packaged Biscoff cookies. I'd invite my friends over and had a little table and chair set up for them. There was a table in the center between us. I would make their coffee to order their tea depending, serve it at the table in the center of the driveway. I would sit down and then they would, when we think back to the craziness, I mean, this would have been early days when nobody knew what was going on. But funnily enough, the idea for this podcast first got its start in that driveway coffee shop. up because the conversations I was having with my friends that would come, we're not surface level conversations. They were pretty deep in heartfelt conversations because of the situation that we found ourselves in and the uncertainty at that time was a scary time. Well, and you mentioned earlier that coffee shops were this place where people could kind of forget where your exact words were, but come as you are, express yourself. I think about different times and places where I've been in coffee shops. There is room for all of those types of conversations. I've had very deep meaningful conversations in a coffee shop. I've had very lighthearted, fun, first meeting people, conversations in a coffee shop. And that's kind of what's unique about a place like that is that the full spectrum of community can happen in that space. There are not a lot of places of which that is true in our culture. - That is correct. There is a feeling of acceptance and also shared experience. A lot of times coffee shops, especially the independent ones, have a unique setting in an old building or there's something beautiful, cozy and something welcoming about the way that they're set up. When they're not set up that way, People don't stay. People don't sit, people don't visit, but when it's cozy and comfortable, they do. In fact, I've noticed there's been a trend in recent times to make coffee shops less comfortable so that people don't stay so that they can turn tables. - That's why a lot of these local independent coffee shops are pretty vital to building community where they are. They're not trying to become a big national chain necessarily. like you mentioned at the beginning of the show, there are a lot of them that you and I have both encountered in various places across the country that we didn't know when we were going, but it turns out they're run by a church or a ministry or Christians who have this vision of providing a place for community. And a lot of them are non-profits. Some of them are for-profit businesses, but there's a different environment that happens when that is the goal, not the byproduct. - Yes, I totally agree. You can tell when people are focused on welcoming everyone and building community. For sure. It starts at the top and it trickles down to all the employees. - Were there any other places on your trip this summer that you experienced that? - Yeah. When we were in Rancho Bernardo, Northeast of San Diego, We went to a sandwich shop for lunch one day called Elmisa Cafe. And as soon as I walked in, it was just like a big hug. Everyone behind the counter was smiling and welcoming and asking us questions and just engaging with us as we made our order, giving us suggestions. Because it was our first time there, just really going the extra mile. And as I was waiting for my order, I started to glance around and, and then I noticed that written on the back of the workers shirts was do everything in love. I feel like I've heard that before somewhere. I might know the source of that. I was just like, wow. What are the chances of all the random places that we would come to this one and the food was delicious? And so the next morning as we were checking out of our hotel in Rancho Bernardo, heading up the coast, we stopped again for breakfast this time, got more of the delicious coffee and more of that amazing, loving community feeling. That was a really great experience. And if you are in the Rancho Bernardo area, check out Elmisa Cafe. But that wasn't even the only one when we were in Spearfish, South Dakota. We stopped at a place called Blackbird Espresso. And there was a lot of people outside in line. That's usually a good indication. I look for the places that have a lot of people in line, not because I like to wait online. Well, I don't mind waiting online. In fact, I was going to say, I don't think you've ever met a stranger. So you probably like waiting online. Well, I didn't meet a stranger that day either. I met this amazing woman named Michelle. And we were just talking to her about our trip, about all the places we'd been. And just talking about the coffee shop. And she said, Oh, you've got to try the morning buns. I was like, a morning bun. What is that? And she's like, Oh, it's so good. It's this pastry, but it like melts in your mouth and just all this stuff. And I was like, okay, well, all right, great. And we just continued to chat and it was a good probably 10 minute conversation. And then when I got up to the counter, the clerk said, so what else did you want with your morning bun? And I'm like, wait a minute, what? And this woman had purchased this for us. And I thought, oh, wow. - But it was her extending her local community to you. - Yes, exactly. Exactly. She shared with me that she and her friend will meet there. And she calls ahead because apparently these morning buns sell out. So if you are in Spearfish, South Dakota, head to Blackbird Espresso. And then a little closer to home, We actually launched our first episode ever. - Oh, that's right, from a coffee shop. - From a coffee shop. Chadds Ford Coffee House, right here in Chadds Ford. Absolutely beautiful location, amazing people, delicious coffee. A shout out to the peanut butter chocolate smoothie. - And they have real chai there. Those of you who drink chai will understand, I like a lot of varieties, including the kinds that have a lot of sugar. There's this legit unsweetened real chai. - Yeah. - They make the real deal there. - Yeah, they're very particular about what they serve their customers. - They do it with excellence. - They do it with excellence, yeah. It is, it's a beautiful, beautiful place. And we also have spent many a planning session across the street at Oso Sweet Bakery Cafe. It also has delicious coffee Amazing scones. - Yeah, they have good food there. - Yeah. - Yeah, really good. I recommend the cherry dark chocolate scone. Can't go wrong. Now I'm getting hungry, Mary Beth. - Well, it's reminding me of what we talked about. I think this may have been in the first season about how food and drink and sharing meals and all of that is important to building relationships and community to use our keyword for this season. But it's true, there is something intangible that happens when people come together over eating and drinking, being in that common space together, face to face sharing. - Well, it gives you something to talk about. As we mentioned in our first episode of this season, if you're looking to try to create connection with people, find something you have in common. If you're in the same coffee shop, you can definitely talk about something. You find something to talk about. In fact, at our mountain bike racing events around the state, the last couple of years, we have this amazing coffee company that comes called alabaster. They're based out of Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Alabaster coffee is something that I know at least our team looks forward to. We communicate with one another about alabaster coffee. As soon as we know that they're going to be available at an event, we, we start texting each other, Oh, alabaster's going to be there. So that is definitely one of those things that is a shared experience that you can create connection over. And by the way, Carl, the owner also deeply understands this. We were actually just talking about it this past weekend about building community, about creating a space for people to come to be part of something to connect with others and to build the community around you. Yeah, it just is a real common thread in coffee shops. And he has a brick and mortar in addition to the traveling. Oh yeah, I should mention that. Williamsport, Pennsylvania, Alabaster, check them out. When you were talking about that, it reminded me, I don't know if this is true anymore, but when I worked in DC, the bottom of one of my office buildings was a local coffee shop and this would have been in the 2010s. So I don't know if these rules still apply, but got to know the owner of the coffee shop my coworkers and I would go in there almost every day. He intentionally did not have Wi-Fi in his coffee shop because he wanted it to be a place where people actually talked to each other. He didn't want it to be a place where people came and just put their headphones in and did work on their computer. He was very intentional about making a specific culture happen in his coffee shop, which I thought was very commendable. And I don't know if it's still true, but at the time, it worked really well. People would come in and actually get to know each other there, which was was if you've ever been in a big city on the opposite side of the building was a different coffee shop, you know, at the other entrance, they did have Wi-Fi and it was a totally different experience in there. I'm not advocating for against Wi-Fi and coffee shops because I've definitely benefited from it many times. But when there is intentionality behind building a specific community and culture, it can go a long way. For example, the vision of the Blueprint Coffee Project in Old Sacramento is this, we want to see Sacramento come together through coffee with community for change. That's pretty specific. Yeah. You get that when you go in there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. As far as alabaster goes, their mission is cultivating community through the elevation of coffee culture. He's got community and culture in that. What a natural overlap. I'm so not surprised. We talked about this on an episode. Yeah. See this coffee. So for those of you that don't like coffee, that's okay. You can drink tea or drink tea. Like my children like to drink vanilla steamers. Oh, vanilla steamers are so good. That was my entrance into coffee shop drinks in high school because I didn't like coffee. I didn't yet have my affinity for tea. And so a friend introduced me to vanilla steamers and I said, well, I can drink this all day. Yeah, delicious. Also hot cocoa. Yeah. Always a good option. So, Sarah, what should our listeners take away from this discussion about wonderful, lovely coffee shops that we've experienced? Drink coffee. The takeaway here is God is at work everywhere in His people. And even in places where maybe God's people aren't, but God is still at work. And coffee shops are a way to tangibly see what a Christ center community can be. And it may not look like it did in the nineties when I'm guessing coffee was a lot cheaper than it is now. May not make sense for you to go every day and hang out at the coffee shop, but find those places in your community where that is happening, be a part of it. Or dare I say, be adventurous and start your own place. If there's not one in your community, - Mm. - We've seen a lot of churches and ministries and different people have pop-up shops starting on profit versions of coffee shops. Maybe you'll get inspired. Or maybe you'll just go buy a cup of coffee and have a conversation with somebody. - Listeners, thanks so much for joining us today. for this conversation about community culture and coffee. Until next time, I'm Sarah. - And I'm Mary Beth. - And this is Trustworthy. (upbeat music) - Hey y'all, Mary Beth here. Sarah and I are so glad that you chose to listen to our podcast. And while we think that we're awesome friends to have, we just wanted to clarify that we are not mental health professionals and want you to know that this podcast should not take the place of any paid professional advice. 

Transcript with Time Stamps:

00:00-00:02
This is Trustworthy.

00:03-00:04
Hi, I'm Sarah.

00:05-00:06
And I'm Mary Beth.

00:07-00:09
Join us for Conversations in Community,

00:10-00:12
established by a trustworthy God.

00:18-00:21
Well, hello there, Mary Beth.

00:22-00:23
Hello, Sarah.

00:27-00:28
There's an awkward silence.

00:29-00:31
- Oh, now what do we do?

00:31-00:34
- Typically, when there's an awkward silence

00:34-00:36
in a conversation, you just wait.

00:37-00:40
In negotiations, he who speaks first loses.

00:42-00:44
- Does that translate to a podcast though?

00:44-00:47
Will we just lose listeners if we're silent for too long?

00:48-00:50
- I think that that would probably be what would happen.

00:51-00:52
So it's opposite.

00:52-00:53
Yeah, we need to keep talking.

00:54-00:55
I like to talk.

00:56-01:02
Speaking of talking, I was recently looking through old journals of poetry.

01:03-01:04
Some originals.

01:04-01:05
Yes.

01:05-01:06
And this is.

01:07-01:08
Oh, you're going to share one with us.

01:08-01:08
Oh, I am.

01:08-01:11
Because it ties into this discussion.

01:13-01:21
Pages and pages of blank and unwritten pages waiting eagerly empty for me.

01:23-01:31
for my thoughts, my wonderings, my wishes, my life, for parts, pieces and parcels of myself to fill them.

01:33-01:42
Once they are full, I will be emptier, yet a little fuller for the telling.

01:44-01:50
letting out myself onto papers is a filler to fulfill my life.

01:52-01:56
Then there will be more of me than just what is inside.

02:01-02:01
That was snaps.

02:02-02:02
If you couldn't tell.

02:03-02:04
How old were you when you heard that?

02:05-02:06
I believe I was 19.

02:07-02:07
Love it.

02:08-02:08
Yeah.

02:09-02:13
And telling because you have written a lot in your life.

02:14-02:16
filled some pages virtual and actual.

02:17-02:21
That takes us back to a time a long time ago.

02:22-02:24
That poem would have been read aloud

02:25-02:28
in an open mic poetry night.

02:28-02:34
Most likely at one of the two coffee shops that I frequented at that time of

02:34-02:38
my life, Monks Tunic in Lancaster, and then

02:39-02:42
Cafe Angst, which opened up after Monks Tunic.

02:42-02:45
They were contemporary coffee shops for some time.

02:45-02:47
Both are long closed.

02:48-02:49
Cafe, angst.

02:50-02:54
That is an amazing name for, I'm guessing this was the 90s.

02:55-02:58
Yeah, this was back in the 90s.

02:58-03:01
This was when Friends was all the rage.

03:02-03:04
And West Coast angsty bands were all the rage.

03:04-03:05
Absolutely.

03:06-03:07
It was a great place to hang out.

03:08-03:10
We've been thinking a lot about community, of course,

03:11-03:12
these last couple episodes.

03:12-03:18
And as I have been thinking about this and Mary Beth and I have been talking to

03:18-03:23
some folks and getting some ideas about community and just sort of looking for it

03:23-03:24
around us.

03:25-03:26
Coffee shops just kept coming up.

03:28-03:34
This summer when I was on my trip, I found this really nice place in old Sacramento

03:35-03:37
called Blueprint coffee project.

03:38-03:38
Coffee was delicious.

03:39-03:40
The people were amazing.

03:40-03:42
It's in beautiful Sacramento.

03:44-03:47
Come to find out as we were doing research for this podcast.

03:48-03:52
Uh, yes, it was started by a church, project church.

03:53-04:00
So many churches look to start coffee shops as a place where people can come, where a

04:00-04:01
community can flourish.

04:03-04:08
Yeah, I was talking to Sarah before we started recording about this concept of a third place

04:09-04:09
in our society.

04:10-04:13
You have home, you have work or school depending on your station and life.

04:14-04:20
And then there are these third places, which coffee shops kind of fill that void.

04:20-04:25
Whereas it used to maybe be taverns or pubs at different times in culture and history.

04:25-04:31
Coffee shops have kind of become that third place for community members to come,

04:31-04:34
to spend time together, to talk through ideas and all of these things.

04:36-04:39
I don't know what that will look like in 10 years from now in our culture, but I

04:39-04:42
I think for the past probably 20 plus years,

04:43-04:45
coffee shops have played a big role in that.

04:45-04:48
And so we thought, what better thing to talk about

04:49-04:52
than where we have found community at different times

04:52-04:56
in our life through something as specific as coffee shops.

04:56-04:57
And what Sarah was talking about,

04:59-05:01
Christians all over the country are picking up on this idea

05:01-05:04
that we need a place where people can come and belong,

05:04-05:08
come together, share coffee, a tea, a small food,

05:09-05:09
whatever it might be.

05:10-05:11
- Chai, that's right.

05:11-05:12
- Chai latte.

05:12-05:13
- Polly's tea for me.

05:14-05:15
- Do you do London fog?

05:15-05:17
- I do upon occasion, yes.

05:17-05:17
- Yeah.

05:20-05:23
Coat tails, that's what we referred to them as

05:24-05:27
in the first episode on "Community" we did this season.

05:27-05:29
And this is a perfect coat tail.

05:30-05:30
- Yep.

05:31-05:32
- A coffee coat tail.

05:33-05:34
A co, okay, I'll just stop.

05:35-05:37
No words smithing today.

05:37-05:37
- A tea tail.

05:38-05:38
- In detail.

05:39-05:39
All right.

05:40-05:43
Well, Mary Beth, I would like to know,

05:44-05:48
what did you find out when you asked some folks

05:49-05:50
about what community means to them?

05:51-05:51
- Yes.

05:52-05:54
Thank you to those who may be listening

05:54-05:56
whose answers I'm about to share.

05:56-05:57
Anonymously, don't worry.

05:59-06:01
I asked a few people in my life,

06:02-06:04
what is community and asked them to respond to that?

06:04-06:08
no further qualifications were given to the question,

06:09-06:11
just to get a sense of how are other people

06:11-06:13
understanding what this is in their lives?

06:14-06:17
I would like to read some of those answers now.

06:18-06:23
First one, I would say community is a sense of belonging,

06:24-06:26
whether it be a place, group of people,

06:27-06:29
or shared identity that people ascribe to.

06:30-06:33
- That reminds me a lot of the dictionary definition

06:33-06:35
that we had in our first episode.

06:35-06:37
They did mention the sense of belonging,

06:38-06:40
which is something that Lucelli talked about

06:40-06:42
in her interview last time.

06:43-06:45
- That's right, that it's something everybody wants.

06:45-06:46
Is that sense of belonging?

06:47-06:48
- I can agree with that definition.

06:49-06:49
All right, what's the next one?

06:50-06:53
- A group of people who share a common belief

06:53-06:56
in the love and presence of God here on earth

06:56-06:59
and have the goal of tangibly demonstrating that

06:59-07:02
to each other and the world around them

07:02-07:04
through intentional actions and conversations.

07:06-07:09
I like the relational emphasis of that.

07:09-07:10
- That is really accurate.

07:11-07:14
And I think describes the community of believers really well.

07:15-07:16
- I would say mature.

07:16-07:18
It's a very spiritually mature answer

07:18-07:23
to have that big picture view of the goal,

07:24-07:28
but also the specifics of intentional actions.

07:28-07:30
- Intangible, tangible actions.

07:31-07:36
tangible as in showing up to clean someone's toilet.

07:37-07:38
- Oh, are you gonna do that for me today, Sarah?

07:39-07:41
- Well, that was a thing. - Are you not afraid?

07:41-07:42
- But, no.

07:43-07:47
Just tangible, showing up in bringing meals to someone

07:48-07:51
or giving a hug and encouraging message,

07:51-07:53
a card, a text, a phone call,

07:54-07:56
being present in someone's time of need.

07:57-08:00
- Yeah, the gift of presence sometime is all needed.

08:00-08:05
needed. Or in celebration too. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You ready for the next one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

08:06-08:10
I would say community is the people you choose to do daily life with.

08:12-08:19
I like that. Yeah. I liked this one because it reminded me of people around town that I might

08:19-08:25
see frequently, but I'm not super close with, but they're part of my community. There's parents

08:25-08:31
at school there are the shops I frequent, the grocery store clerks I always run into,

08:31-08:31
those type of things.

08:32-08:32
That's what came to my mind.

08:33-08:37
Yeah, and I think back to that Dunbar's number, you can only have so many actual friends.

08:38-08:41
And we talk a lot about the five people that you surround yourself with.

08:42-08:44
Really reminds me, okay, who am I surrounding?

08:45-08:45
Who am I choosing?

08:46-08:47
Who am I choosing?

08:47-08:48
Key word, yeah.

08:49-08:49
To do daily life with.

08:51-08:51
All right.

08:51-08:57
And then the final one, I think community is the people you serve and are served by.

08:59-09:02
Whoa. That's a good one.

09:03-09:07
I think that's also a reminder that we should be serving.

09:08-09:11
A positioning of the heart and mind there.

09:12-09:17
And also accepting the service of others, allowing others to serve us,

09:18-09:22
which can be sometimes more difficult than doing the serving.

09:23-09:27
Yep. Agreed. Thank you to those of you who shared those answers with me.

09:27-09:32
It's always nice to get our wheels turning and get other people's perspectives

09:32-09:37
because people sharpen other people and we need other perspectives.

09:37-09:40
That's right. That's what makes community so.

09:41-09:42
There you go. I know you were going to tie it back.

09:43-09:44
I just knew it. I saw it coming.

09:46-09:54
As we think about these definitions of community and maybe drill down into specifically how

09:54-09:59
writing those coattails of coffee shops can tie into that, where you might have people who have

09:59-10:05
these different expectations of community all in one place, right? Not every person is going to

10:05-10:12
give the exact same answer of what community means. Correct. How have coffee shops built

10:13-10:16
community for you or have you experienced community in them?

10:18-10:29
Going back to the 90s, coffee shops were really starting to be a thing. I remember driving

10:29-10:34
from school. I was on the main line outside of Philadelphia at that point to a place called

10:34-10:41
La Tazza in Manyunk. And I was so excited because it was my first time I ever had French pressed coffee.

10:42-10:46
Then when I moved to Lancaster County in the nineties as well,

10:47-10:50
I found these two coffee shops, the Monks Tunic.

10:50-10:54
And then after shortly after that, Cafe Angst opened up both on West

10:54-10:55
Orange Street and Lancaster.

10:56-11:02
The people there were accepting and kind and we automatically had

11:02-11:05
something to talk about coffee or tea.

11:06-11:09
You know, if there's some kind of hot beverage, some kind of hot beverage.

11:09-11:12
Back then it was, I guess there was tea, but it was coffee.

11:13-11:13
Yeah.

11:13-11:19
There weren't as many fancy options, but we hung out there and there was poetry reading.

11:19-11:22
And that was definitely popular at that time.

11:23-11:28
There was a group of us that would be there almost every day, which in retrospect is kind

11:28-11:33
of crazy to think about how did I have time in my life to go to a place every single day?

11:34-11:39
But, you know, we were all young and single and it didn't have children.

11:40-11:41
So responsibilities are much different.

11:41-11:42
Yes.

11:43-11:47
The great thing about that time in my life is that it showed me what

11:48-11:52
acceptance could look like because I was one of a motley crew

11:52-11:57
hanging out at those coffee shops and the other people accepted me for who I was.

11:58-11:58
All right.

11:58-12:03
So then as you got older, how else have coffee shops reflected community?

12:04-12:07
Continuing the whole trend on the west side of Lancaster,

12:07-12:11
there was a great place called Dosie Dough that was on Lemon Street,

12:12-12:14
just a block from the house I lived in for 10 years.

12:14-12:17
And so I used to spend, actually it was called something before that.

12:17-12:22
And they had great breakfast, but also great coffee and community.

12:23-12:28
Spent a lot of time with my friends working on the crossword puzzles and Sundays, drinking coffee.

12:28-12:32
So how did you end up there with friends?

12:32-12:33
Was this a planned thing?

12:34-12:34
Was it spontaneous?

12:34-12:36
Did you just make friends with the people that were there?

12:37-12:37
What did it look like?

12:38-12:38
- Yes.

12:39-12:39
(laughs)

12:40-12:42
So I would go up and I made friends with the people

12:42-12:45
that were there, started to make friends with the workers.

12:46-12:48
My aunt and uncle lived around the corner for me

12:48-12:49
at that time as well.

12:49-12:50
So sometimes I would see them.

12:51-12:53
If I had guests staying with me in town,

12:53-12:55
we would all go up together in the morning.

12:55-12:57
Sometimes I would make plans,

12:57-12:59
"Hey, let's meet up at such and such a time."

12:59-13:01
But a lot of it was organic.

13:01-13:05
Just whoever was there in the downtown Lancaster scene,

13:05-13:08
used to all kind of hang around and drink coffee

13:08-13:10
and then people go off to their various pursuits.

13:11-13:14
- Is that something that you continued to seek out

13:15-13:17
after you no longer lived there?

13:17-13:20
How did this kind of concept of coffee shop stick with you?

13:21-13:22
- Yeah, that's a good question.

13:23-13:24
Well, I really like coffee.

13:25-13:27
I started drinking coffee when I was 12.

13:28-13:28
Nice.

13:28-13:29
Yeah.

13:32-13:35
I would say every time I moved, I found a place.

13:36-13:37
Sometimes it was a coffee shop.

13:37-13:44
Sometimes it was a cafe, but definitely a place where I enjoyed going, was able

13:44-13:52
to connect with the people there and had a lot of fun just singing or reading

13:52-13:55
poetry or whatever the creative pursuit was.

13:56-14:01
And even when I moved here to this area of continued to look for

14:01-14:03
places to hang out with friends and drink coffee.

14:05-14:11
And then fast forward to COVID and all of that went away.

14:13-14:17
Screeching halt, but Sarah said, not so fast, not so fast.

14:18-14:24
I used that time to invest into a special coffee maker

14:25-14:27
that can make lattes and espresso.

14:27-14:28
- Well, when you're not going to the coffee shop,

14:29-14:31
you could save up your money for a coffee machine.

14:32-14:33
- It paid for itself quickly.

14:34-14:37
One of the things I did was set up a driveway coffee shop.

14:38-14:41
I put chairs and tables out in my driveway

14:42-14:46
and purchased pre-packaged Biscoff cookies.

14:47-14:50
I'd invite my friends over and had a little table and chair set up for them.

14:51-14:53
There was a table in the center between us.

14:53-14:57
I would make their coffee to order their tea depending,

14:57-14:59
serve it at the table in the center of the driveway.

15:00-15:01
I would sit down and then they would,

15:02-15:04
when we think back to the craziness, I mean,

15:04-15:08
this would have been early days when nobody knew what was going on.

15:08-15:10
But funnily enough,

15:11-15:17
the idea for this podcast first got its start in that driveway coffee shop.

15:17-15:21
up because the conversations I was having with my friends that would come,

15:21-15:23
we're not surface level conversations.

15:24-15:28
They were pretty deep in heartfelt conversations because of the situation

15:28-15:32
that we found ourselves in and the uncertainty at that time was a scary time.

15:33-15:37
Well, and you mentioned earlier that coffee shops were this place where people

15:37-15:41
could kind of forget where your exact words were, but come as you are,

15:42-15:43
express yourself.

15:44-15:49
I think about different times and places where I've been in coffee shops.

15:49-15:52
There is room for all of those types of conversations.

15:52-15:56
I've had very deep meaningful conversations in a coffee shop.

15:56-15:59
I've had very lighthearted, fun, first meeting people,

16:00-16:01
conversations in a coffee shop.

16:01-16:06
And that's kind of what's unique about a place like that is that the full

16:06-16:09
spectrum of community can happen in that space.

16:10-16:13
There are not a lot of places of which that is true

16:13-16:14
in our culture.

16:15-16:16
- That is correct.

16:17-16:18
There is a feeling of acceptance

16:19-16:22
and also shared experience.

16:22-16:24
A lot of times coffee shops,

16:25-16:26
especially the independent ones,

16:27-16:30
have a unique setting in an old building

16:31-16:34
or there's something beautiful, cozy

16:34-16:37
and something welcoming about the way that they're set up.

16:38-16:39
When they're not set up that way,

16:40-16:41
People don't stay.

16:41-16:43
People don't sit, people don't visit,

16:43-16:46
but when it's cozy and comfortable, they do.

16:47-16:50
In fact, I've noticed there's been a trend in recent times

16:50-16:52
to make coffee shops less comfortable

16:52-16:55
so that people don't stay so that they can turn tables.

16:56-17:00
- That's why a lot of these local independent coffee shops

17:01-17:04
are pretty vital to building community where they are.

17:04-17:08
They're not trying to become a big national chain necessarily.

17:09-17:11
like you mentioned at the beginning of the show,

17:13-17:15
there are a lot of them that you and I have both encountered

17:15-17:17
in various places across the country

17:18-17:19
that we didn't know when we were going,

17:20-17:23
but it turns out they're run by a church or a ministry

17:24-17:25
or Christians who have this vision

17:25-17:27
of providing a place for community.

17:29-17:31
And a lot of them are non-profits.

17:31-17:33
Some of them are for-profit businesses,

17:33-17:38
but there's a different environment that happens

17:38-17:41
when that is the goal, not the byproduct.

17:42-17:43
- Yes, I totally agree.

17:44-17:45
You can tell when people are focused

17:45-17:49
on welcoming everyone and building community.

17:50-17:51
For sure.

17:51-17:54
It starts at the top and it trickles down

17:54-17:55
to all the employees.

17:56-17:59
- Were there any other places on your trip this summer

17:59-18:00
that you experienced that?

18:00-18:01
- Yeah.

18:02-18:06
When we were in Rancho Bernardo, Northeast of San Diego,

18:07-18:12
We went to a sandwich shop for lunch one day called El Misa Cafe.

18:13-18:16
And as soon as I walked in, it was just like a big hug.

18:17-18:23
Everyone behind the counter was smiling and welcoming and asking us questions and

18:23-18:28
just engaging with us as we made our order, giving us suggestions.

18:28-18:31
Because it was our first time there, just really going the extra mile.

18:32-18:37
And as I was waiting for my order, I started to glance around and, and then

18:37-18:42
I noticed that written on the back of the workers shirts was do everything in love.

18:43-18:45
I feel like I've heard that before somewhere.

18:45-18:46
I might know the source of that.

18:47-18:48
I was just like, wow.

18:48-18:53
What are the chances of all the random places that we would come to this one and the food

18:53-18:54
was delicious?

18:54-18:58
And so the next morning as we were checking out of our hotel in Rancho Bernardo, heading

18:58-19:03
up the coast, we stopped again for breakfast this time, got more of the delicious coffee

19:03-19:06
and more of that amazing, loving community feeling.

19:08-19:09
That was a really great experience.

19:09-19:13
And if you are in the Rancho Bernardo area, check out El Misa Cafe.

19:15-19:21
But that wasn't even the only one when we were in Spearfish, South Dakota.

19:21-19:26
We stopped at a place called Blackbird Espresso.

19:28-19:31
And there was a lot of people outside in line.

19:31-19:32
That's usually a good indication.

19:33-19:38
I look for the places that have a lot of people in line, not because I like to wait online.

19:38-19:40
Well, I don't mind waiting online.

19:40-19:42
In fact, I was going to say, I don't think you've ever met a stranger.

19:43-19:44
So you probably like waiting online.

19:44-19:46
Well, I didn't meet a stranger that day either.

19:46-19:48
I met this amazing woman named Michelle.

19:49-19:53
And we were just talking to her about our trip, about all the places we'd been.

19:55-19:59
And just talking about the coffee shop.

19:59-20:04
And she said, Oh, you've got to try the morning buns.

20:05-20:06
I was like, a morning bun.

20:06-20:07
What is that?

20:08-20:09
And she's like, Oh, it's so good.

20:09-20:13
It's this pastry, but it like melts in your mouth and just all this stuff.

20:13-20:15
And I was like, okay, well, all right, great.

20:16-20:19
And we just continued to chat and it was a good probably 10 minute conversation.

20:20-20:27
And then when I got up to the counter, the clerk said, so what else did you want

20:27-20:28
with your morning bun?

20:28-20:28
And I'm like, wait a minute, what?

20:29-20:31
And this woman had purchased this for us.

20:32-20:34
And I thought, oh, wow.

20:34-20:38
- But it was her extending her local community to you.

20:38-20:39
- Yes, exactly.

20:40-20:40
Exactly.

20:40-20:43
She shared with me that she and her friend will meet there.

20:43-20:46
And she calls ahead because apparently these morning buns

20:46-20:46
sell out.

20:46-20:49
So if you are in Spearfish, South Dakota,

20:50-20:52
head to Blackbird Espresso.

20:53-20:55
And then a little closer to home,

20:55-20:59
We actually launched our first episode ever.

20:59-21:00
- Oh, that's right, from a coffee shop.

21:00-21:01
- From a coffee shop.

21:02-21:04
Chadsford Coffee House, right here in Chadsford.

21:06-21:09
Absolutely beautiful location, amazing people,

21:10-21:11
delicious coffee.

21:13-21:16
A shout out to the peanut butter chocolate smoothie.

21:17-21:19
- And they have real chai there.

21:19-21:21
Those of you who drink chai will understand,

21:22-21:23
I like a lot of varieties,

21:23-21:25
including the kinds that have a lot of sugar.

21:25-21:29
There's this legit unsweetened real chai.

21:30-21:30
- Yeah.

21:30-21:31
- They make the real deal there.

21:32-21:34
- Yeah, they're very particular

21:35-21:36
about what they serve their customers.

21:37-21:38
- They do it with excellence.

21:38-21:39
- They do it with excellence, yeah.

21:40-21:42
It is, it's a beautiful, beautiful place.

21:43-21:46
And we also have spent many a planning session

21:47-21:50
across the street at Osso Suite Bakery Cafe.

21:50-21:53
It also has delicious coffee

21:53-21:54
Amazing scones.

21:54-21:55
- Yeah, they have good food there.

21:55-21:55
- Yeah.

21:56-21:56
- Yeah, really good.

21:57-22:01
I recommend the cherry dark chocolate scone.

22:02-22:02
Can't go wrong.

22:04-22:05
Now I'm getting hungry, Mary Beth.

22:05-22:08
- Well, it's reminding me of what we talked about.

22:08-22:10
I think this may have been in the first season

22:11-22:14
about how food and drink and sharing meals

22:14-22:19
and all of that is important to building relationships

22:19-22:24
and community to use our keyword for this season.

22:24-22:29
But it's true, there is something intangible

22:30-22:32
that happens when people come together over eating

22:32-22:35
and drinking, being in that common space together,

22:35-22:35
face to face sharing.

22:36-22:37
- Well, it gives you something to talk about.

22:38-22:40
As we mentioned in our first episode of this season,

22:40-22:42
if you're looking to try to create connection

22:42-22:44
with people, find something you have in common.

22:44-22:45
If you're in the same coffee shop,

22:46-22:47
you can definitely talk about something.

22:48-22:49
You find something to talk about.

22:50-22:54
In fact, at our mountain bike racing events around the state, the last couple of

22:54-22:59
years, we have this amazing coffee company that comes called alabaster.

23:00-23:01
They're based out of Williamsport, Pennsylvania.

23:03-23:07
Alabaster coffee is something that I know at least our team looks forward to.

23:08-23:11
We communicate with one another about alabaster coffee.

23:11-23:16
As soon as we know that they're going to be available at an event, we, we start

23:16-23:18
texting each other, Oh, alabaster's going to be there.

23:19-23:24
So that is definitely one of those things that is a shared experience

23:24-23:25
that you can create connection over.

23:26-23:31
And by the way, Carl, the owner also deeply understands this.

23:31-23:35
We were actually just talking about it this past weekend about building community,

23:35-23:42
about creating a space for people to come to be part of something to connect

23:42-23:45
with others and to build the community around you.

23:45-23:48
Yeah, it just is a real common thread in coffee shops.

23:49-23:52
And he has a brick and mortar in addition to the traveling.

23:52-23:53
Oh yeah, I should mention that.

23:54-23:56
Williamsport, Pennsylvania, Alabaster, check them out.

23:57-24:00
When you were talking about that, it reminded me,

24:01-24:02
I don't know if this is true anymore,

24:02-24:04
but when I worked in DC,

24:05-24:08
the bottom of one of my office buildings was a local coffee shop

24:08-24:11
and this would have been in the 2010s.

24:11-24:12
So I don't know if these rules still apply,

24:13-24:15
but got to know the owner of the coffee shop

24:15-24:21
my coworkers and I would go in there almost every day. He intentionally did not have Wi-Fi in his

24:21-24:26
coffee shop because he wanted it to be a place where people actually talked to each other. He

24:26-24:29
didn't want it to be a place where people came and just put their headphones in and did work on

24:29-24:35
their computer. He was very intentional about making a specific culture happen in his coffee shop,

24:36-24:40
which I thought was very commendable. And I don't know if it's still true, but at the time,

24:40-24:45
it worked really well. People would come in and actually get to know each other there, which was

24:45-24:49
was if you've ever been in a big city on the opposite side of the building was a different

24:49-24:54
coffee shop, you know, at the other entrance, they did have Wi-Fi and it was a totally different

24:54-24:59
experience in there. I'm not advocating for against Wi-Fi and coffee shops because I've

24:59-25:05
definitely benefited from it many times. But when there is intentionality behind building

25:05-25:08
a specific community and culture, it can go a long way.

25:09-25:15
For example, the vision of the Blueprint Coffee Project in Old Sacramento is this, we want

25:15-25:20
to see Sacramento come together through coffee with community for change.

25:21-25:22
That's pretty specific.

25:22-25:22
Yeah.

25:23-25:24
You get that when you go in there.

25:25-25:26
You know what I'm saying?

25:26-25:26
Yeah.

25:27-25:31
As far as alabaster goes, their mission is cultivating community

25:32-25:34
through the elevation of coffee culture.

25:35-25:37
He's got community and culture in that.

25:39-25:40
What a natural overlap.

25:41-25:42
I'm so not surprised.

25:42-25:44
We talked about this on an episode.

25:44-25:46
Yeah. See this coffee.

25:47-25:49
So for those of you that don't like coffee, that's okay.

25:50-25:51
You can drink tea or drink tea.

25:52-25:54
Like my children like to drink vanilla steamers.

25:55-25:56
Oh, vanilla steamers are so good.

25:57-26:00
That was my entrance into coffee shop drinks in high school

26:00-26:01
because I didn't like coffee.

26:02-26:04
I didn't yet have my affinity for tea.

26:05-26:07
And so a friend introduced me to vanilla steamers

26:07-26:09
and I said, well, I can drink this all day.

26:10-26:10
Yeah, delicious.

26:11-26:12
Also hot cocoa.

26:12-26:12
Yeah.

26:13-26:14
Always a good option.

26:15-26:19
So, Sarah, what should our listeners take away from this discussion

26:20-26:22
about wonderful, lovely coffee shops that we've experienced?

26:23-26:24
Drink coffee.

26:26-26:31
The takeaway here is God is at work everywhere in His people.

26:32-26:36
And even in places where maybe God's people aren't,

26:37-26:38
but God is still at work.

26:39-26:47
And coffee shops are a way to tangibly see what a Christ center community can be.

26:48-26:51
And it may not look like it did in the nineties when I'm guessing coffee was a

26:51-26:53
lot cheaper than it is now.

26:53-26:57
May not make sense for you to go every day and hang out at the coffee shop, but

26:58-27:04
find those places in your community where that is happening, be a part of it.

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Or dare I say, be adventurous and start your own place.

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If there's not one in your community,

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- Mm.

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- We've seen a lot of churches and ministries

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and different people have pop-up shops

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starting on profit versions of coffee shops.

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Maybe you'll get inspired.

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Or maybe you'll just go buy a cup of coffee

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and have a conversation with somebody.

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- Listeners, thanks so much for joining us today.

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for this conversation about community culture and coffee.

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Until next time, I'm Sarah.

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- And I'm Mary Beth.

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- And this is Trustworthy.

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(upbeat music)

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- Hey y'all, Mary Beth here.

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Sarah and I are so glad that you chose

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to listen to our podcast.

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And while we think that we're awesome friends to have,

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we just wanted to clarify

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that we are not mental health professionals

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and want you to know that this podcast

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should not take the place of any paid professional advice.