Ep. 2 - OVERWHELM & ACCEPTANCE

Being kind to yourself amidst mental criticism is crucial for well-being. Instead of harsh judgment, offer understanding and encouragement. Acknowledge challenges as part of growth, not failures. Treat yourself with the compassion you'd give a friend facing similar struggles. Replace negative thoughts with affirmations of your worth and progress. Embrace self-care activities that nourish your mind and spirit. Remember, gentleness fosters resilience and positivity, fostering a healthier mindset and relationship with yourself.

• "You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius

Transcript

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Welcome to inflammation. Super highway. Well, I'm playing a TNE. I live in Australia. I'd like to pay my respects. To the custodians. Of this salt, water encircled country. Where this podcast is being recorded. I honor the elders. Past. Present and emerging. This is. And always will be. Aboriginal land. Hey, Hey, thanks again for. Choosing to cruise inflammation, superhighway with me. I'm Claire TNE DCS episode two. It's all conversation about the diagnosis. The overwhelm. And the continuing balance, you know, between the. Peaks and troughs of the rollercoaster that is multiple sclerosis. Recording this week. was quite emotional for me. I'd like to provide a content warning. The material discussed in this podcast is sensitive in nature. And could potentially trigger emotional distress or discomfort. For some listeners. If you find yourself feeling triggered. Or overwhelmed by any of the topics covered. I encourage you to reach out. To a trusted friend, a family member. Or a mental health professional. For support. Your wellbeing is important to me. And I want to ensure that everyone listening feels safe. And supported. Thank you. I have a quote today. It's Bob Mali. Beginnings are usually scary and endings are usually sad. But it's everything in between that makes it all worth living. Let's hold on to that thought. Radio. Diagnosis. Being diagnosed with anything. Anything. Can cause a shift. In your energy. And for not just for you, but for the ripple. Effect of on to those that care for you and your loved ones. And there's no roadmap. There's no. Book. Of step-by-step procedures to follow. Not have to say that being diagnosed with an illness. With no recorded cure. It's not a very UN hasn't got very rosy outcomes. Predictions. It's an intense shift, an intense life shift. So. in episode two today. I've chosen a topic. that came up from last week's episode. And I want to talk about it and it's overwhelmed. Overwhelmed fear, denial. All those emotions. That go through when something. Like, an illness diagnosis. My Hemi. Tree on this one. Is that it was a little bit like an invisible car. Coming out of nowhere and hitting you. side on. Pushed you sideways and thrown you onto a completely different trajectory than you may have thought. And I wasn't ready. I am was not ready for any concept that my life. Could have a dark future. And. So in the immediate, in the immediate. It seems a really obscure. Really obscure. And I said last week I was super fit when I was diagnosed. So it just did not match. My reality. Um, I've. I finished uni in 1980. Nine. And. I really never saw myself, um, as a career woman. In the world of nine to five. Um, but, I did go to uni and I finished a university degree. I did a three year degree in four and a half years. So I think that probably reflects how much fun I was having and How little study. Oh. I was doing. I was studying a bachelor of science and I double-majored. In immunology and genetics. That little bit of irony of it. I kind of had a background to understand what was going on in. The diagnosis, but it still didn't make it any easier. I was living out of home. And. I was working three part-time jobs. So basically full-time. And I was working. A lot for a company called a T M, which is Australian tour merchandising. And I was also working for the company. That had the. Uh, contract with the tennis center. In Melbourne. And for the merchandising as well. So I was working at a lot of rock concerts at the tennis and all of those outlets where, um, we sold t-shirts and programs and posters. Do you know them? Every concert in the world has them. And so my work with them part time. Uh, became more like full-time because I was offered to manage. One of the new contracts that they had. So the Victorian football. Went national and became Australian rules football. So. I was offered to manage the team of anywhere from 18 to 25 people. At every match. And every ground in Victoria. Uh, as it started to grow into the national sport. I had a blast working for these. Uh, but I'd never, ever, ever been to a football match. Uh, and suddenly I was at every football match. On a Wednesday night on a Saturday, on a Sunday, sometimes on a Friday night. Mostly just within Victoria, but sometimes I had to go. To other states and manage some of the. teams as the. Uh, contract expanded. I was a big picture girl. I was really good at B. Visions and big events and organizing large groups of people and staff and creating cohesive teams. So I was pretty, pretty busy, but I loved the job. I loved it was energetic. Fun. I've got to have access behind the scenes. For the football and many of the. Rock concerts that I worked at and the tennis, when I did the tennis for those three weeks. Um, I was responsible for making sure that everybody. Um, The stock, the finances. We're secured. I had to troubleshoot constantly, which was my jam. Uh, had to move fast and around big venues and basically. You know, I was having fun, but I was working hard. And. Why am I telling you this? Because I. Feel that. Most of my work. Has been physical and required high energy. And. That. I heard actually heard something the other day. And somebody said something that I've often thought. With my diagnosis that. We've only got a certain amount of energy in a day. And I don't want to put a number on it. Just let's say it's a, we have 25 points of energy per day. I think I used at least 26 or 27 every day. And so I pretty much pushed my body. As hard as I could. For as long as I did and I was training. Also in karate. I was a brown belt. I did mention that. Last week and. I wasn't sleeping long hours and. I was having fun and partying hard. So. When I look back at that time and, and look, I was. in my twenties, so, of course you've got. Endless amount of energy in the twenties. I really used as much of it as I could. In every day. But the goal we've. Finishing uni and working that hard was too. Save a lot of money and go overseas for as long as I could. So over the three years after uni. Uh, they've finished an 89. I left Australia in 91 to two years. I built up a lot of savings and I put my backpack on and, um, To go one way ticket out of Australia. I went to Thailand over land through Russia. And into London. I was really lucky in London. That my brother was living there, so I didn't have to stay in the backpackers. I was. Independent. I was bold. I was brave. Fearless. I was going to conquer the world and I did. For quite some time, actually. I came home. through Africa. And when I returned. I picked up the pieces of a university relationship. With a wonderful man. But after some years, I realized that. Well, we were really good friends, but we didn't want the same things out of life and we're moving in different directions. So, and, I was living in his house that he had bought. And. So I finished that relationship. The reason I mentioned the relationship and I'll talk about my long-term relationship as well. Is that. When you end any relationship when you win, work as well or a friendship or, you know, and that don't always have to be because things are going wrong. Sometimes it can be just. That. You moved to another part of the town or, or part of the world and you lost contact with people. It. It can be quite stressful. Well, in fact, it can be. Super stressful when you're finishing an emotionally entangled relationship. So. Soon after I finished that relationship. I've got the Ms. Diagnosis. 1996. And. I well. I said before, felt like a car had, hit me sideways. Um, But. I also know, like, as, as an individual, most of my life, I've done everything on my own, even in a relationship. So I went to see the specialist on my own. I received the diagnosis on my own. Aye. Don't remember. Much about. The doctor or the room. I remember it was a long process back in. The day, uh, they didn't do a lumbar puncture straight away and tell you, they kind of was a bit of a comparison. 30 years ago. So it took a little while to get the diagnosis. But on the day. My memory. As I said, of the, where I was, or the doctor is vague. But I do remember. But I went home and. I stared at the wall for a long time. I think I smoked a joint and drank some scotch. And then I cried. I cried and I cried. I'm fairly sure. I was thinking things like, why may. You know, again, it made no sense. And so. For anybody out there listening. It's. Uh, really berserk. Thing to get a diagnosis with. Really scary prognosis given to you. Which I'll talk about in a sec. Um, but. That. makes no sense in the way you are in your life at the time. And what you thought your future would be. Deepak Chopra. has been recorded saying. You can believe the diagnosis. But not the prognosis. And he is tapping into. the. reality that, you have a lot of control. over your future. And you can influence your life. By not only the way you eat. What you drink or what you do for exercise. But by the way you think. And what you feel. And I believe he's tapping into. The control we have over the choices that we make. And how this directs our lives. I did not know about. Deepak Chopra. When I was diagnosed. But I was fairly sure. That I was going to. Ignore the prognosis. And I wasn't going to be. Living in a. Cut. Cotton wall life. I was going to keep. Living. With my own energy and my own. Control over my direction. And although. At the time. I pretty much ignored the diagnosis. As in I decided my prognosis, wasn't going to be nothing like. What they thought it was going to be. So I continued my life. It was very fast paced and. Oh, a little frenetic. Um, But, I see. I started to keep my eye out at the same time. For things, um, to introduce into my life, to my health and wellbeing. Um, Usually outside the mainstream, that would, and I was looking for things that were genuinely capable of improving my health. Now. I'd say a lot of folk. Out there in the medical world will say that nothing is going to stop. The progressive. Uh, aspect of multiple sclerosis. But. I do believe, and I have seen in my time. The fact that you can put it into remission. Like you can put cancer into remission. what I was looking in the world of health and wellbeing. At the time I was looking at. Kinesiology. Acupuncture. Shiatsu. Um, things like blood cleaning and. Uh, detoxing. And. Uh, it was. Ice baths and I attended Ayurvedic. Retreats. And so basically what I was trying to do was encourage my butt and I still am. Encouraged my body. to be in its best capacity to be strong against this. Raging thing inside me that apparently. Had turned a switch in my body and I was suddenly eating myself. Or destroying my own cells. Again, A concept that is really hard to take on board. You know, like wake up one morning? and just go, Hey, Claire. Eh, And not paying enough attention. I don't have to start attacking you until you sit down and listen to me. I don't know again. None of it made sense. In the way that I was living and wanting to live my life. So in received the diagnosis after. A long travel and a. An emotional relationship breakup. Then I spent. The next. No short while, I guess. Cause the relationship breakup was about. Three four years after I came back from overseas. And I was sitting one day thinking, what the hell am I going to do? How do I, how do I manage this? And I was. trying to remember. When was I the happiest, because I read a lot about. How your mental stability is really important. In. Your wellbeing. And I thought, you know, the happiest I've been ever is when I'm traveling. So I bought a ticket. I went to Vietnam. I spent a bit of time there. I came home. I got a puppy. And did you boyfriend? Shoot forward. 14 years. And I've traveling. Pretty. Bloody. Well, actually I have had. A few. Of these symptoms come and go. And, um, I'm still with the same boyfriend and I'd become an entrepreneur. I had a. Catering business. I had a dog walking business. Um, and. I closed my catering business. But I sold my dog walking business and we both headed to south America. Oh, yeah. And I had to rehouse my dog. With a beautiful couple who looked after him? For the other half of his life. Pretty much until he was about 18, 19 years. old. So bless him. He had a good time and we went off. Traveling. Had some jobs in south America. But a car in south America. And traveled. Traveled from Chile all the way up to Venezuela. Through Columbia. We'd actually had to sell the car at one point. Because L. Yeah. It's difficult to cross borders with a car that was bought in a different country because you put an easily get pots and what have you. And we broke down. a lot and we. Stayed in a lot of truck stops. We met a lot of really helpful people. At, uh, Two years later. So where were we then? We'd left south America. Uh, eventually and went into London regrouped and went off to Spain. Um, and we'd been living there for a while. Actually we took on a year contract and it was about to, be renewed. And when I found out I was pregnant. With the same partner of now 16 years. We returned home. and. I got back before him. If he went to do some relief work. And I. Basically went up to Queensland. I was really aware. Of the Ms. And the story of the importance of vitamin D and how low vitamin D was not good. Vitamin D is actually a hormone. And. The incidents of Ms is higher. The further away you get from the equator. And that kind of relates to the amount of vitamin D dropping. When you get further and further away from the equator. So my. I've been running around the world, following the sun and. I really loved the warmth. And the lifestyle that was really much chill, more chill in the warmer climates and. We'd spent. I had. spent a lot of time in, um, Colombia and Venezuela on my way out of south. America. And again, I just loved the lifestyles. So. I came to far north Queensland In Australia. and. found an amazing life. Shoot forward. five more years. And we had really settled in. We had built a house.. My partner had built a. Business. I had set up. Multiple businesses hours working. In. The local theater. And I was working. contracts for the local carnival. And I was running my own. Uh, events. And. My son was five and he was off to school. And. I was really happy. in my job. In my business, I was. Really, loving the events that I was running. But they didn't bring in a great deal of money. And unfortunately. That became a problem. For my partner and I, and was causing quite a lot of stress in my relationship. It seemed to be that. The stressful aspect of the relationship. Was. Causing me to. Circle. In my mind, you know, going around and around and around and finding no solution. To the issues that I thought we had. And at the same time, I was starting to get these symptoms that. We're going away this time. So. I'd lost. I was starting to lose the capacity to write with my right hand. And I. I don't know why. I was just starting to feel really embarrassed about. The future and my symptoms, um, I was limping and therefore. On certain days I needed to use a cane. And. all I was ashamed. Which is bizarre to say that you're embarrassed about an illness or some symptom of an illness that's been placed on you. Um, I was fiercely independent and bold, and I was very public in my job. And. I needed to be feet for my job. It wasn't all just the mental side of it. I was putting up marquees and. Moving. Boxes and sets around and fitting up, setting up stalls and stages and doing photo shoots and. I couldn't, I just didn't feel like I could risk. Um, anyone knowing that I had debilitating illness. Because that would equate to a lack of confidence in a potential employee or a. Or a contract. Um, I was also really bad at asking for help. Now that's something that, uh, want design in on, because. Asking for help and receiving help from those that offer it is. Really important. For your mental wellbeing with this rollercoaster ride that we're on. Um, I felt like I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Again, my. Uh, projection of how I felt people would think when they saw me or. Oh, but when you think. It's really crazy. The stuff that you think about for yourself, you don't think about for others. So somebody else was struggling of course, out of a health. I could help. Here we go. Let me help you. And yet, if somebody offered to help me, it was like, oh no, it's okay. I'm fine. I'm fine. But I was trying really hard to. Not fit the mold of victim. And I didn't want to be in capable. I was scared. Fuck about the prognosis. Seeing now that some of my symptoms weren't going away. And obviously I was progressing. at school I'd been captain of. Tennis. And I want all the athletics and I. I said before I was a brown belt and I, I rode my bike instead of having a car and, um, where we lived, I was diving. And when we were overseas, I was hiking mountains and. I think the south of Chile, I was ice picking. I had jumped. Solo out of airplanes. Multiple times. My job was active. I was active. Scared shitless of letting go of. Well, My character. And my personality. Because I was so bound out with what I was doing. Um, With what I did as a job. Um, and I was starting to, ask these really. Berserk questions that were going around around and rounded my head. And I was. It was. Like I was scared that if I started to lose. My capacity to be. Active and fit and capable. My partner, wouldn't be as interested in me. And if I couldn't, if I started to lose my strength and, I couldn't do the work. I'd always done. Who was I going to be? What was it going to be doing? And if I couldn't be silly and jump around and at a party and. Be the life. of the party and. Drink til Dawn and in a dance. Who was I? Was I going to be. And how was I going to stay appealing and. Why would people find me interesting. And if I didn't know who I was, how would anyone know how The snow, who I was. These questions. Kept popping into my head, which is crazy. Cause I was still absolutely fine. And functioning. I was walking with a limp. I couldn't use my right hand. So well, but how did I think that that. But I wasn't me anymore. How did, I think that these physical disabilities. We're going to stop people from being as interested in me as they had been. And. Why would I think that my son would change his opinion of me if I couldn't. I don't know, be a volunteer at the school, or if I became an embarrassment with my walking on a cane or, um, I know, cause I never thought that of other people, but I was thinking that people would think of me. So. I had to learn to be kind to myself. And. In and amongst all of this mental criticisms. It was really crucial that I. Stopped having harsh judgment. On myself and. Learn to encourage myself. Aye. Really became quite aware. That challenges are actually a part of your growth. And. as people say, Um, Things that happen. For you not to you. So it was really important. That I replace the negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Of my self-worth. And the progress I had made. And, um, Just actually spend time and embrace. Self care that nourish my mind and, um, Foster resilience and positivity. Create a bit of mindset, basically. So I was in my mid forties. And I was really proud of my son at school. And. I was trying really hard to manage things. At home. And. Unfortunately, something else was around the corner. That nobody had told me about. Menopause. Now. I knew menopause was coming. I mean, every woman, woman is aware that menopause is coming. And, but nobody. No one in this industry had. Ever. If it ever broached the concept that menopause could do such a. Kick in the. Pants. For Ms. And the symptoms. Holy fuck. Sorry for swearing. But menopause. knocked me over. Just another of those. Invisible bumper cars that hit me. At this time, it didn't knock me sideways. It just. Pushed me backwards dropped me to the floor. 12 me round spat me out. I was absolutely. Messed around by menopause. And no one had told me. Anything. About. How it might affect my unwellness. Mental or physical. But overnight. I couldn't handle the heat of the tropics. Now. I built a house at a life and a job and a pool of friends. Up in far north Queensland and I freaking loved it. I just loved it. It was the most. Freeing enjoyable existence. And suddenly. I couldn't cope with it. I couldn't cope with the heat. I tried a really tried. I tried for years. and years, and it got harder and harder. And I got all weaker and weaker. And I've got short tempered. I said I was walking on a cane. I was losing control of my bladder. I was spiraling my partner and I were fighting. I turned 50. Uh, tried at tried. I really tried. And then. So. I dunno. One day I snapped. It was the weirdest thing. I literally packed a box. Got in my car. And left. Just. Left my entire life. Because. Menopause had made me. So. Unbalanced mentally. And nobody had said to me, it's menopause. That's happening to you. Not a doctor or a specialist or anybody had said. Oh, honey, do you think this is just menopause? I cannot believe how big an effect menopause had on my Ms. And nobody had mentioned it. I think. I had taken a little bit of estrogen. When I was diagnosed with potentially. That's first phases of osteoporosis. When I finally got to cares after leaving. My relationship, but for the four or five years prior, No one had said. anything. Not adopter. Anything. Um, and. So I. Uh, spiraled out of control. Aye. Was 52 years of age. When I left and I took my son. And we moved 80 kilometers away to a different town. We actually moved to the town where he was going to school. He'd been traveling. To this school. But, I moved into the town. Uh, I was. I left all the people that I loved and. Found. Uh, gorgeous little apartment. And tried to. Set up a new life. Aye. Aye. Firmly felt as I. Drove away for that life that. Just leaving. It was going to be the answer. It was going to be the thing that allowed me to pull myself out of this. Spiral of. Symptoms and mental. Craziness in my head and. I was going to be absolutely fine. I was going to recover. And I was going to have no symptoms within a year. And. When I arrived in the new town, everyone kept telling me how brave I was. And. But, it was hard. It was really, really hard. Um, And after. The first year when. Things. I didn't. so much improve, but there was slowly getting worse in my body. And I was. At that point where I was adding to ask more and more questions, I was becoming really sedentary. And even though I was swimming in the pool every day. I was. Every other minute of the day. I was sitting on my ass. And I realized. I was never going to play tennis again. We'll hike. All go for a long walk. Um, I wasn't going to be able to. Probably run any. Business or event. And. I wasn't working. I was just. Watching life go by. Oh my God. I was. I think now I gained looking back. I was so bored. Uh, um, All the stuff that I thought was going to happen for me. Wasn't happening. And. I realized at some point that I hadn't really dealt with my mental health. I'd started to realize that movement was the only thing that was bringing me joy now. So. It was time to up the ante on the movement story. So I went to Melbourne. Over Christmas and I stayed. For nearly three months. And I'd made a plan. I was going to. When I get back because it's going to move more. I was going to create a whole regime. For my mental health and. When I got back. About. Two weeks after I. got back. COVID shutdowns happened all around the world. And everything stopped. And my life that was fairly sedentary. Became the norm. And people were freaked out about the. That they couldn't do. The things they'd been able to do. And that was my norm. And people were. Going, oh my God. I can't. Go on a holiday. I can't. Go to my job. I can't. See my friends. That was, kind of my norm. And. What I did do. Was. Concentrate on. What I could do. Um, my mental health. And so I started. Watching everything I'd been meditating for quite a few years, but I wasn't super good at it. But I upped that auntie I took a. Whole month of. Meditating. Twice a day. Hours and hours a day. I read books. I did online courses. I was, um, Really, really, really determined to get my mental. Talk down my. Ahead the songs that. would go round around, around, around in my head and I needed to get them out. And, as I was concentrating on my mental health. Becoming better. My son had started to, express that. The school he was. at. the time. It wasn't quite challenging. His need to grow in the area. That he was hoping to fulfill for his chosen career. So he had got into the school that he was at. Based on his. Um, application and audition for the drama. Um, Stream of the school and. It was good. But he wanted more. And I. was still struggling with. the, heat. So he applied for a school in Melbourne, was accepted and we took that opportunity. To move away from the tropics and, everything. I loved. Which was really emotional. But. Fortunately, I've got to take my son with me. I had been meditating and I had been researching. And trying to shift my mind set. And I had been. listening to a lot of. Dr. Joe Dispenza. And listening to Bruce Lipton. And, Wayne Dwyer. I discovered. Bernay brown. and Mel Robbins. And I'd done more online courses. One with Dr. Joe and one with Tony Robbins. And I did that. Really. Immersed myself in my mental health. And wellbeing. And at the same time, um, My son had been accepted into the school, a school. in Melbourne. So. I grew up in Melbourne. It was pretty easy for me to. move back there. I had a lot of friends and family. Sorry. Suddenly there we were packing up. And moving to Melbourne. Uh, way from. The tropics. where had been living for 16 years and I had left Melbourne over 20 years ago. And I was thinking, oh, God, Melbourne. I love the tropics. What am I doing? And, you know, what. My buddy. Filled with joy in the colder climate. And my brain calm in the colder climate. I was unhappy about leaving the wolves, but my body was super happy. And. I decided to double down. And give myself some joy. Which is really important. And I flew to Niagara falls and I immersed myself in a week. long. Dr. Joe Dispenza seminar. I spent. A week with 1500 people. All searching for answers on their own or their delivers. And I found peace. And hope. At a way forward. It's. I don't know. That I'm completely comfortable with who I am now. And I can't tell you how exactly I changed. Or in the minute or the moment that my brain. Stopped. Screaming at itself. But when I changed my focus from victim to soldier. And I'm still not fully there yet. Cause I have. Down days. But I meditate every morning. and. I exercise every day. And my lifestyle is pretty clean. So. Meditation. Exercise or movement. Just movement. And diet. Removing alcohol. Uh, we're massive for me. And. No I'm down in Melbourne and I'm single. But that's probably a discussion for another episode. I will say that when you are single. With a disability and your thinking of entering the dating pool. I feel like I'm a bit. invisible. And I'm still the same funny, bubbly, independent individual inside. But sometimes I have to travel from a, to B. in a wheelchair. And. That makes me super invisible. However. My takeaways. from this podcast would be. maintain hope and agency. Regarding your potential outcomes, any quality of life? I say. If the diagnosis is overwhelming. Cut yourself some slack. Cry. Get angry. Sleep. Have a drink. Crucible. Take shower. Put on some clean clothes and step out into the world. Go for a walk and move. Nature is vital for your wellbeing. And movement is so important. Because Ms. Doesn't kill you. Ms does affect your daily life. And it can. Throw a wobbly in your work and your, how you think about yourself and how you present in the world. Your personality. But you still have control over that. So. Don't wait too long. To look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself I love you. You've got this. Because if you tell yourself and all your cells in your body, I love you. You've got this. You'll go to forgive yourself. Anything that you think you may have done to help this disease take hold in your Also. Out of the rollercoaster.. It's long and it's hard. And have to give up all sorts of things. At times. That made your life. Well made you, you. But you're here. And you're generally healthy. In fact. I am healthier. Probably not fitter, but I am. healthier. than I was. in my twenties. And thirties. Because of my lifestyle changes. And, I haven't had a cold. For years and years and years, and I survived the COVID story. But when you do get sick, I'll warn you, you symptoms flare that happens. But. it's the sickness. Like if you catch a virus, you'll find that flares. Symptoms. But when the virus has left your body, you will return to where you were. So learn to accept, help. From wherever it comes when ever it comes and when ever it's offered. For two reasons because you need it. Because it's good. And because it brings joy. Well, the big, it brings joy, not just to you. But to those that are offering to help. You know, don't say no, because. If you say, no, you're excluding them in fulfilling their quarter of joy. There need to be involved in some way in your. Path. And your journey and your wellness. Find the beauty in every day. And I it's a classic corny line, but it is true. The smallest things. If you let yourself. B. In that moment, the smallest things. We'll allow you to realize that life is precious. And most of us don't live in a rural war ravaged country. Enjoy. The flowers enjoy the smaller the person passing you in the street. Enjoy. The sliver of blue sky, as it comes through the clouds. Enjoy. The. Waltz that you are lucky enough to have from the heater in your house. Enjoy. The comfort of your bed. Enjoy the fact that you've got. A beautiful meal in front of you. Enjoy. Just enjoy the symbol. Things. And if you have children or family, Enjoy the hugs and the closeness. And. When you hit rock bottom. Because you will, at times. When you hit rock bottom. Look up. Look up. And try to smile. And when you hit the peak. Of any day. Hold on. Hold on and enjoy the ride. So. I think that's it for me today. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but I hope that you got something out of. The episode today. Rabbit. I've got to end it there today. I want to thank you. So, so, so much for joining me. On this emotional expert, Laura exploration. Of what's probably the hardest part of the journey. The rollercoaster. The rollercoaster of emotions and the physical capacities. That move and change on a daily basis. But you've got this. I want you to know that I love you. And all of you. And yes. I do tell myself every day. I love you. I look in the mirror and tell myself. I love you. And I'm going to leave you with this. Look it up. There is an amazing. poem. It's a Hawaiian practice. Centered around reconciliation and forgiveness. It's cold. The whole opera. Pono and it emphasizes the. belief that. Internal harmony leads to external harmony. And, um, it involves repeating these four phrases. I'm sorry. Please pick gave me. Thank you. I love you. It's a. It's a really beautiful process of taking responsibility. For all of our experiences and relationships. And it aims to cleanse all negative. Emotions and promote healing. Uh, it encourages really profound shift in perspective. And, um, Helps restoring balance in your life. And your connections with others. So my friends, I'm going to leave you here today. Please be kind to yourselves. and until we made again, On the inflammation super highway. Please please do enjoy the ride.