Explore the science of attraction in this insightful episode of "Pillars of Perception." We delve into why actors often find romance off-screen and how repeated interactions increase attractiveness, a phenomenon supported by decades of research. Uncover the roles of biology and social influences in shaping our perceptions of attractiveness, from the importance of physical health and symmetry to the impact of societal norms and media. Learn how factors like hormones and similarity influence whom we find appealing. This episode provides a deep dive into the intricate factors that guide our romantic and interpersonal attractions, blending psychological insights with biological facts to explain the underlying mechanisms of why and how we choose our partners. Join us to gain a clearer understanding of the complex dynamics at play in human relationships and attractions.
Explore the science of attraction in this insightful episode of "Pillars of Perception." We delve into why actors often find romance off-screen and how repeated interactions increase attractiveness, a phenomenon supported by decades of research. Uncover the roles of biology and social influences in shaping our perceptions of attractiveness, from the importance of physical health and symmetry to the impact of societal norms and media. Learn how factors like hormones and similarity influence whom we find appealing. This episode provides a deep dive into the intricate factors that guide our romantic and interpersonal attractions, blending psychological insights with biological facts to explain the underlying mechanisms of why and how we choose our partners. Join us to gain a clearer understanding of the complex dynamics at play in human relationships and attractions.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Pillars of Perception, where we investigate the fascinating corners of human psychology. I'm your host, Hind Al Gharaballi, and today we're exploring a force that shapes our lives in profound ways. The science of attraction. Why do we find certain people irresistible while others barely catch our notice?
Let's dive into the mysterious world of human desire and discover what lies beneath the surface of attraction.
Attraction often strikes us like a lightning bolt, unexpected, powerful and uncontrollable. But what's really happening in our brains when we encounter someone who takes our breath away. Experts like Helen Fisher PhD, from Kinsey Institute, explains that the limbic system, a primitive part of our brain, kicks into high gear, releasing a cocktail of neurotransmitters. This isn't just a flutter of the heart. It's a primal response, deeply rooted in our need to find a mate. And often our decisions are made within the first few tantalizing minutes of meeting someone.
But what exactly draws us to some people more than others? The answer is a complex blend of biology and culture. We're naturally inclined to seek out partners who mirror aspects of ourselves or our loved ones. A phenomenon underscored by research. It's societal factors like race, socioeconomic status, and even political beliefs that can heavily influence our dating choices. And let's not forget the role of physical appearance. While we may tout the importance of personality or intelligence, it's often good looks that captivate us the most.
Delving deeper. Why do certain physical features and enchant us. Symmetry, waist to hip ratios and even specific spinal curvatures have been linked to health, fertility, and the ability to bear offspring.
What is crucial to remember that much of this research is based on limited demographic samples. The global tapestry of human beauty is far richer and more diverse than these studies often suggest.
Our perceptions of beauty are not just shaped in the womb. They're sculpted by the society we grew up in .
Historical and cultural ideals of beauty have shifted dramatically over the centuries. Influenced by factors ranging from food scarcity to media representations. Today, the opinions of friends, family, and the media play a significant role in molding our attractions, often subconsciously.
Yet there is more to attraction to meets the eye. Discovering a captivating personality can transcend traditional beauty standards. Broadening our horizons. The context of a relationship, whether a fleeting fling or a long-term partnership, also dramatically alters what traits we prioritize. And then there's the indescribable spark. That elusive chemistry, that defies prediction, and sometimes even our own preferences. Psychologists Arthur Aron and other researchers have found that mutual interest and the unique energy between two people can make our well-defined “types”, irrelevant.
In the dance of attraction, our steps are often guided by instincts. Wired deep within our brain; but as Helen Fisher reminds us, understanding the forces that draw us to each other, gives us the power to navigate our attractions more mindfully. By acknowledging the complex interplay of biology, psychology, and culture. We can approach our relationships with greater intention and openness.
Imagine walking into a room and feeling that undeniable pull towards someone. It's almost like a magnetic force. Isn't it? But what fuels this magnetism? Is it the curve of a smile, the spark in the eyes. Or perhaps a resonance in a voice. While these might catch our eye, the study we're delving into suggests our preferences are a rich mosaic of aesthetics, resources and personality traits. And here's where it gets intriguing. These preferences are not static. They dance and shift with the seasons of our lives.
In the springtime of youth, it's often the bloom of beauty that captivates us. Physical attractiveness and build, play their parts in this initial allure. Especially for men. The study reveals a fascinating trend. While both men and women appreciate physical beauty, men, particularly in their youthful and energetic years, place a slightly harder emphasis on this aesthetic appeal.
But as the leaves of time turn, this preference gently weans, making room for deeper, more enduring traits.
As we sail into the deeper waters of our life, our gaze shifts from the surface to the treasures, hidden beneath.
Women, with their intuitive compass often seek the richness of intelligence, emotional depth, and yes, even stability and resources in a partner. These preferences, echo the symphony of life's practicalities and the desire for a mate, who not to only enthralls the heart, but also steadies the ship through turbulent seas. Men, too, begin to tune into this melody appreciating more the harmony of minds and the security of a shared future.
Life and its infinite wisdom teaches us to appreciate the symphony over the solo. The study guides us through this evolution. Showing how in the ballroom of life, our steps change with the music, the fiery tango of youth with its quick steps and sharp turns around physical beauty, gradually mellows into a waltz where intelligence trust and emotional connection lead. Interestingly, this transition isn't abrupt, but a slow, graceful glide that reflects our own growth and the expanding breadth of our experiences.
Attraction, it appears is not a monochrome painting, but a dynamic ever evolving masterpiece. The study illuminates how our preferences at 20, are not the same, of course, as when we reached 40 or 60.
Exploring the science behind attraction, we investigate into the reasons behind the common patterns of relationships. Especially among those who spend significant time together, such as co-stars in films or television series. The phenomenon where repeated exposure to someone increases, the likelihood of attraction is a well-documented aspect of human psychology. This principle known as the ‘mere exposure effect’, suggest that the more we see someone,
the more likely we are to find them attractive. This is one reason why co-stars often find themselves entering into relationships off screen.
The concept of proximity playing a key role in attraction is supported by extensive research indicating that we're naturally drawn to those we interact with frequently.
Delving deeper into the biological underpinnings of attraction. It's clear that physical health and the ability to reproduce are significant factors. For example, historical and current trends, show heterosexual men are typically drawn to younger women who exhibit signs of childbearing capability. Physical attributes, such as face symmetry, face structure and the hip to shoulder ratio, play crucial roles in attraction because they are indicators of good health.
However, attraction isn't solely based on biological factors, social influences from families, peers, and media also shape our perceptions of attractiveness. For instance, some people may gravitate towards partners resembling their opposite sex parent. A preference shaped by familial influences during upbringing. Additionally societal norms and media portrayals contribute to forming our ideals of attractiveness influencing who we find appealing.
Personality traits, significantly impact perceptions of attractiveness. Studies have shown that kindness and positive personality attributes can enhance how attractive someone is perceived. This suggests that physical attractiveness is not the sole determinant of attraction. The personality of an individual plays a pivotal role.
Hormones also play a crucial role in attraction. Men with higher levels of testosterone, may be predisposed to find more feminine facial features attractive. Women's preferences and partners can vary throughout their menstrual cycle with tendencies shifting between short-term and long-term relationship preferences. Based on hormonal changes.
Contrary to the popular belief that opposites attract. Research suggests that we're more likely to be drawn to those who share similarities with us. ‘The Phantom stranger technique’ developed by psychologist Don Bern reveals that individuals tend to feel more attracted to those who hold similar attitudes and views. This indicates that similarity in beliefs and values can significantly influence attraction and the formation of relationships.
Now shifting to a more men versus female view on what they perceive as a attractive in the other. Here's what Jordan Peterson has to say on the matter. According to research conducted. The correlation of women, finding partners attractive and their perceived object of attraction, having a high social economic standing is 0.6. As opposed to men's correlation to finding their perceived object of attraction and social economic status being zero or slightly negative even.
These margins don't presume that women are after wealth. They indicate that women use wealth as an indication of competence. When you think about it makes sense. It's in the interest of women, biologically and practically to find a partner who is either as competent as she is, or even more competent than she is.
David buss, author of the ‘Evolution of Desire’, explores the roots of human desire through evolutionary psychology. Uncovering the biological and social factors that shape our romantic attractions. Feminists, now disagree with his conclusions, stating that his hypothesis is fundamentally flawed. One point in the opposition of David bus's work is the focus on men's points of view. With little to no regard on what women find attractive in a man. Feminists and author Naomi Wolf states that evolutionary biologists often project their views on the desires of women, but rarely actually ask women what drives their desires. Naomi Wolf states that if women were asked their perspective on what fuels attractiveness towards men, the studies would probably find broad shoulders, height, muscle tone, among other things that would spark the interest romantically for heterosexual females.
In an interview with Dr. Jordan Peterson and Naomi Wolf. Dr. Peterson responds with the claim that women have indeed been asked, and the findings have led to the production and the physiques of superheroes who have a muscular build and broad shoulder to waist ratios.
Dr. David bus went on an interview with Dr. Peterson and defined what sexual selection is. It's the evolution that deals with mating success. Darwin explained sexual selection as a competition between same-sex battles with the winner, gaining access to the mate. An example of this would be a battle where the winner propels traits such as stamina, strength, agility, and cunning, etc. In humans, we often compete for positions and status hierarchies.
In their conversation, Dr. Buss states that when comparing the two genders with regard to their choosiness, or how harsh they are with their choices. Women are in fact, the ones who display a choosier perspective. This is given because of the repercussions to choosing wrong and the hard labor of being pregnant for nine months. Whereas for men, it is much easier to reproduce. Hence men usually do the competing and the women, the choosing in the relationship.
There was a study conducted where subjects were asked “what is the minimum percentile of intelligence that you would accept in a potential partner for a marriage companionship?”. Men and women were roughly equal in their opinions. They roughly stated a 60 to 70 percentile in intelligence. Where a more casual partner, where no investment was required, women maintained their 60 to 70 percentile in intelligence and men's answers were in the 30 to 40 percentile in intelligence, a wallowing drop with regards to women.
Another interesting point to think about is who we have as a mate affects our social status. An example of this is when in the 2016 presidential election, Trump was in competition with Ted Cruz. Trump said, “look at my wife and look at Ted Cruz's wife.” This demonstrates a sense of status with regards to mate choice.
This also demonstrates our use of language to impune others' social status to enlarge our own, i.e. competition.
Dr. David bus in one of his classes in the University of Austin, Texas, asked his female students, “what do women want in a long-term mate?” Answers varied from a good sense of humor to generosity, to intelligence, to understanding. Dr. Buss had five big blackboards and went on to fill all five of them. Then the professor turned to the men to ask them the same question. The men answers filled up a blackboard and a half. There is a lot of overlap in men's answers in comparison to what women want. Intelligence, good health, sense of humor and agreeable personality. Someone who wasn't too neurotic. Or moody.
There are some key differences as well. Men emphasize more on physical attractiveness and youth. Men prioritize these characteristics more than women.
The phenomenon of love at first sight. We're a man walks into a room or any setting really, and immediately is drawn to a woman. Then states themselves, “I'm going to marry her”. As opposed to women who very rarely experienced this phenomenon. The reason to that is physical appearance provides a wealth of information about a woman's fertility.
We were all the descendants of this long and unbroken chain of ancestors who have succeeded in selecting a fertile mate. The interesting thing about this is that fertility cannot be observed directly.
In short term mating, however, both men and women emphasized physical appearance. That isn't to say that physical appearance for a woman isn't important for long-term mating. However, just not as important as it is for men. Women prioritize a lot of characteristics before physical appearance.
In his podcast, Dr. Andrew Huberman states that our childhood attachment styles influenced who we later in adulthood mate with, or are emotionally and romantically involved in. This is because the neurons and their connections in the brain and body that are responsible for attachment between infants and caregiver are repurposed for adult romantic connections.
An important fact to point out is that our brains are highly plastic and hence these childhood attachment styles can be changed. This does not derail the importance of strong biological factors that affect our selection of romantic partners. These include hormones, neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin.
There were two studies done to identify just how much our biology plays a big part in how attractive we perceive other people. In both studies, the women were at different stages in their menstrual cycle. In the first study, men are to rate the attractiveness of women, according to the smell of those women. Clothing that the women in the study wore for several days were presented to the men. The results showed that men rated the women most attractive when they were at their pre-ovulatory stage in their menstrual cycle. Of course, it's important to note that these men had no idea what stage these women were in their menstrual cycles. In the second study, women were rating the odors of men. The results showed that the women in their pre-ovulatory stage, rated men's odors more attractive than other stages in their menstrual cycle. An interesting finding is that during the pre-ovulatory phase in their cycle, women based on smell alone, found that symmetrical facial features were more attractive.
Scientists did a third study in which they took women on birth control pills and did the same experiment where women use their olfactory senses to rate men's attractiveness and symmetry, vice versa for the males. However, in this group of women, the results varied. There was no spike in attractiveness when they were in their pre-ovulatory phase, and women did not prefer the odors of more symmetrical men.
The study indicates that odors play a big role in who we find attractive, and whether or not the women who are on birth control affects their increased attractiveness to males. Of course, people are varied and might not care that much to the olfactory senses when it comes to choosing a mate.
Also, in men who found increased attractiveness to women in their pre-ovulatory phase, a spike in testosterone was observed. This is the body's way of giving that slight nudge of courage for the man to approach a beautiful woman.
It's important to note that all five senses play a role in attraction.
The eyes interestingly are the first components of attraction. With beauty standards, varying through different cultures and timelines, signs of youth, fertility, and good health, such as smooth skin and lustrous hair, were always desirable. So, when we spot someone we find attractive, our instinct is to therefore move closer to investigate further with our other senses.
An interesting study demonstrates how touch can influence our perception of who is attractive. Participants were asked to read a story about a hypothetical person and proceed to rate their personality. Now, before the study was done, the participants were asked to hold a cup of coffee, unbeknownst to them that this was part of the experiment. Those who held the hot cup of coffee proceeded to rate the hypothetical person as happy, more social, generous, and better natured. Paradoxically, participants who held the iced coffee, rated the hypothetical person as stoic non-affectionate and cold.
Reflecting on the various dimensions of attraction covered in our discussions. From the enduring impacts of frequent proximity among human partners, to the fundamental biological and social cues that guide our preferences. It's evident that attraction is governed by an intricate blend of nature and nurture. Whether it's the hormonal influences that shape our romantic decisions, psychological impacts of familiarity and similarity, or the societal norms that mold our perceptions of beauty and partnership. Each factor intertwines to craft the complex human experience of attraction. By examining these influences collectively, we uncover the profound and varied forces that not only bring individuals together, but also enrich our understanding of the deep-seated connections that bind the fabric of relationships.
Thank you for tuning in. I'm your host Hind Al Gharaballi and until next time, take care and stay curious.