Island Treasures Mini Podcast: Two Poems from Sarah Merriman

In the full episode entitled "Roadblocks and Signposts for Caregivers", Sarah Merriman talked about her poetry and reminiscence sessions for people living with dementia; and that she is a poet herself!  

Sarah was willing to share two of her heart-felt poems in this mini episode.  The first is called "Dad".  It is a loving tribute to her father who was a single father.  Sarah tells us about the backstory of the relationship She had with her father and with her Nana and why their bond and Sarah's devotion as her caregiver was so deep.

Her second poem is called "Hope" and it is a poem of understanding for caregivers;  and Sarah offers compassionate hope and support through her written words.  May I add, this compassionate hope is carried through how she supports caregivers in the work she does as a freeland dementia consultant.  

Transcript

Thank you for tuning in to the Island Treasures Podcast.

We value the insights shared by our guests and hosts, but it's important to note that their personal experiences are intended to inform and encourage, and not to replace professional, legal or medical advice.

With that, we are ready for today's exciting episode. Welcome to Island Treasures Mini Podcast for Caregivers. I am your host and caregiver consultant, Alison van Schie from beautiful Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada.

In the full podcast episode featuring Sarah Merriman, we heard about her caregiving experience as a sandwich generation caregiver, and how she uses her experience and the formal education she received post-caregiving to support caregivers and their loved ones. One of the approaches that Sarah embraces is to use poetry and reminiscence sessions for people living with dementia.

And Sarah writes her own poetry, poetry for all of us, and graciously agreed to read a couple of her poems for this mini episode.

Sarah provides the backstory of her relationship with both her dad and her nana, setting the stage for her first poem, which she has entitled, Dad. Before we get started, you may wish to have a tissue handy.

So my dad became a single dad to four children between the ages of two and seven when my mother walked out. That's why I was the one who looked after my grandmother. My mother walked out when I was six years old and never came back and left my dad.

This was back in 1974 when there weren't even really single mothers, let alone single fathers. There was no childcare.

And even though it was my nana's daughter that did this, my nana stepped in and came to live with us Monday to Friday for three years until my youngest sister was old enough to go to school so that my dad could keep on working.

And even then, in the holidays, my nana would come over and help look after us. So to all intents and purposes, because my mother never came back, my nana became like my mother to me, which is why I had such a close relationship to her.

She was only 45 years older than me, so in effect she could have been my mother.

But so my dad, to carry on and bring up four children on his own, yes, with my nana's help, but to carry on working full time and to do that, he's just an icon in my eyes.

So anyway, I wrote this poem for my dad, and I framed it and gave it to him for his birthday. So this is the reasoning behind this. 

Dad, if I had my life over, I would change many things.

I would laugh more and cry less. I would count my blessings more and my troubles less. I would listen more and talk less.

The one thing I would never change though, is having you for my dad. You have been the one constant in my life, and for that, I'm forever grateful.

You have always been there to tell me, all this shall pass away when life had knocked me to the ground. You have held my hand through some of the darkest times in my life, and celebrated with me in all the good ones too.

You have always been so proud of me and I of you. You have been my teacher and my guide, my friend and my confidant. In the bleakest of times, you have given me the strength to carry on.

You have taught me what it is to be humble and to do for others selflessly, and how to be the very best that I can be. You will never know just how much your love has helped me over the years.

Wherever I have been in the world, your love for me has held me fast, and for that I will be forever grateful. I would change many things about my life, but the one thing that I would never change is having you for a dad.

Beautiful. Tears in my eyes.

Tears in my eyes.

Oh, beautiful.

So that's that one.

Now here's a little backstory on Sarah's second poem for the episode.

I wrote a poem called Hope. There's a mental health organization in this country called MIND. They're the mental health charity, and they, along with Penguin Random House Publishers, ran a creative writing competition.

This is eight, nine years ago now. And it had to be something on the theme of Hope. So I wrote my poem on Hope, talking about basically people being at the edge of the abyss, kind of staring into the darkness.

And it actually won a highly commended runner-up prize. And I got feedback from the editor at Penguin Random House and a whole load of prizes. And I think that really spurred me on, you know, to carry on writing it.

But it's still one of my favorites. And that is what I try and give to caregivers, to say that even though you might find yourself in a really dark place, that there is light, there is hope, there is, you know, because I've done that.

I've been right there at Rock Bottom and found my way back out again. And, you know, it's, it's so easy when you're at that dark place to feel like things are never going to be any different.

And so, you know, I try and share that with people who are going through a difficult time.

Now for the poem called Hope.

So hope. It's never gone, it's never lost. And though your dreams are blown and tossed amongst the dark thoughts of your mind, just seek it out, and you will find a chink of light, a ray of hope.

I know you think you'll never cope, you'll never smile or laugh again, your life will be so full of pain. But let me tell you, that's not so. Please believe me, that I know.

For yes, I once walked in your shoes. I didn't know which path to choose, to lead me out from that dark place or put a smile upon my face. But don't give up and don't give in, for one day soon you'll surely win.

The battle that inside you fight, rage at it with all your might. For you have strength within my friend, so all my love to you I send. To try and help you soldier on, when you really think all hope is gone.

Just look deep inside of you, you'll find reserves you never knew, to draw upon and make you see, that there is hope, there'll always be, a new day dawning yet to live, with promise and so much to give.

Tell me now that you believe, that there is much you can achieve. Don't lose heart nor give in now, please give me your solemn vow, that with the ebb and flow of life, you know it's not all woe and strife.

Tell me you'll hold fast to hope, then that's enough, you'll surely cope, with anything life throws at you. Just know that I am with you too. I've got your back, I'll spur you on, any time resolve is gone.

When you feel it's all too much, know that I will be your crutch, so lean on me, I'll take the strain. My faith in you will never wane. I know that you'll stand tall once more, and pick your dreams up off the floor.

Dust them off, reach for the moon, for hope will take you there and soon.

That's beautiful. Thank you, Sarah. There's nothing more I need to add, as I recognize how precious your time is, especially as a caregiver.

When you have more time, I invite you to listen to the full episode called Roadblocks and Signposts for Caregivers, to hear more from Sarah and her magnificent journey through and beyond caregiving.

Thanks for listening to this mini podcast, and to Sarah Merriman, thank you for sharing your poems with us today.

Be sure to click the link in the show notes if you have any comments or questions, and if you enjoyed the episode, be sure to tell your friends and other caregivers about it so they can enjoy it too. Take care.