Island Treasures Mini Podcast: Caregiver Respite

Rebekah Dowhy, grew up being the caregiver for her mom.  Through her caregiving life she learned the importance of support.  

She describes the rare opportunity she had to experience the joy that came with taking a break.  A break that to many would be taken for granted, as she was able to join her classmates for an outing.  Rebekah's take on this outing was that it felt like a vacation. 

Learning the power of taking a break from such a young age, Rebekah created a respite program for caregivers.  It is called the Caregiving Support Network, and it meets the needs of caregivers to help them cope, feel seen, and to prevent them from becoming a statistic especially with her knowledge that caregiver stress can lead to caregiver burnout.

From her perspective she reminds non-caregivers of how they can help the caregivers in their lives and how much a simple gift for a caregiver can mean.

Transcript

Thank you for tuning in to the Island Treasures Podcast.

We value the insights shared by our guests and hosts, but it's important to note that their personal experiences are intended to inform and encourage, and not to replace professional, legal, or medical advice.

With that, we are ready for today's exciting episode. Welcome to Island Treasures Mini Podcast for Caregivers. I am your host and caregiver consultant, Alison van Schie from beautiful Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada.

Today's mini episode is about respite, and it's from the episode called Normal Life Plus Caregiving with Rebekah Dowhy.

Whether you say respite or respite, let's define it using the Carer Gateways definition, which states, respite or respite care is when someone else takes care of the person you care for so that you can have a break.

A break can give you time to do everyday activities or to relax, deal with stress and look after yourself. For Rebekah, she experienced an amazing break and realization that a couple of hours away from caregiving could mean so much. Take a listen.

And I remember at one point, I was in college and it was a virtual class.

And we were all meeting up in Nashville, Tennessee. And it was just a day, a couple hour getaway. And I remember walking through the city and I arranged my dad would be home.

And I remember realizing walking down the street that my friends had no idea that that day to me was like a vacation.

Caregivers, especially full-time caregivers seldom or never have a day off.

We don't have a weekend to look forward to in the sense of if you're going to a nine to five, everyone says, oh, thank goodness, it's Friday and I can't wait for the weekend to relax. I'm going to be off work and relax.

And that's just not the case for caregivers. They don't have a day off, sometimes for months, sometimes even years. And that can really, really wear you down.

And I mean, I experienced that even as a young person, where I would be so exhausted that the idea of deciding what to make for dinner was very overwhelming.

And now being an adult, looking back, having a bit more education around trauma and depression and things like that, I was really going through some depression and anxiety at that time just because of the constant almost like needing to be on fight

It is constant and it can lead to burnout.

And so a lot of times, you put yourself on the back burner as a caregiver and it's really, really easy to burn out.

I mean, seven out of 10 caregivers experienced depression at some point in isolation. When your whole life is wrapped around someone else, it's almost impossible to step back and even think about yourself.

Like I said, that can lead to burnout and it often does. And that's why respite is so important. It's so easy to get overwhelmed talking about the challenges associated with caregiving.

In the US., one out of five is a caregiver, so that's a lot of people. And so it's easy to look at those numbers and be like, well, what can I do? I can't help 53 million people.

How can non-caregivers help ease this day-to-day pressure in light of these alarming statistics?

All you need to do is find the caregiver in your life because there is one, I guarantee.

And it's as simple as dropping off a meal or showing up and just saying, hey, here's a gift certificate for a house cleaning service.

And so the power of just a couple hours off and knowing that they're seen and knowing that you have people who are thinking of you is literally life changing in a way that you may never realize as the person giving that gift.

And what Rebekah did to help ease the caregiver stress was to create a program.

We started the Caregiving Support Network and we're a nonprofit ministry that believes in, first of all, the power of community and prayer. And the first thing we do with caregivers is we bring them, we talked about the isolation, right?

We bring them into a community that encourages them, cares for them, is made up of caregivers and former caregivers like myself, who want to reach back and help others through that really difficult process of usually walking a loved one home, which

is very emotionally, financially, physically draining on you as the caregiver. And we want to take care of you, the caregiver. And then also coupling that with really practical support so that they can take a break.

And how do you do that?

Well, you know, send house cleaners to their house. We'll send them a meal gift certificate. And sometimes we'll even cover medical care to come in and help their loved ones so they can actually leave the house and get away for a little bit.

So Becca, tell me more about the Caregiving Support Network.

Yes.

So we are a team of former and current caregivers. And we are primarily volunteer led, which has just been so beautiful to see. And I believe the number is up to about 20.

And so it's just been so cool to see the people that have come through and say, hey, I want to do this. And it's catching. It's contagious in the best possible way.

I know we don't like that word anymore, but this is a good contagious in the sense of there's no greater joy than seeing a caregiver who has no one in their life. And I mean, no family around.

Their neighbors maybe haven't seen them in a while because they're housebound. And bringing them into this group of incredible caregivers who are like, hey, we get it. We totally get it and we see you.

And not only that, we're going to help you and we're going to make sure you get to take a break.

And it was Rebekah's caregiving experience that framed the approach the respite ministry now takes.

When I was caregiving, I would have very well-meaning people say, Rebekah, you're so burned out, just so tired. And you really need to take time for yourself. And it always frustrated me a little bit as a caregiver because I couldn't just leave.

You know, that's not something that's available to caregivers. They're already so overwhelmed with everything. And so we get to come in and say, we do see that you're burned out.

That is true. But we're going to make sure you get to take a break by making it happen for you. We're not going to give you another step on your to-do list.

Here's one concluding comment from Rebekah, if you can take advantage of Respite.

If you have the opportunity and the resources to do so, it makes you a better caregiver at the end of the day.

What a good note to end on.

Now, if you'd like to learn more from Rebekah, check out her website, caregivingsupportnetwork.org. I recognize how precious your time is, especially as caregivers. And so this mini podcast is designed just for you.

And when you have more time, I invite you to listen to the full episode called Normal Life Plus Caregiving to hear more from Rebekah. Thank you for listening today.

And if you have a question or a comment, you can text the show through the link in the show notes. And if you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to tell a friend, especially if they're a caregiver. See you next episode.