A Caregiver's Innovative Creation

Angela Fairhurst was the primary caregiver for her mom who after a misdiagnosis and several different medications was eventually diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia.  Angela's passion to find engaging activities for her mom led her to create Geri-Gadgets® and as the founder and CEO of Geri-Gadgets®, she is dedicated to enhancing the lives of those affected by dementia.

Angela has over 25 years of experience as a non-fiction television producer and journalist through Fairhurst Productions, Inc., and former Executive Director of the Chambers Group, a consumer product-marketing firm.  From her impressive career, she brings a unique blend of creativity and practical expertise to her work.

Her journey in dementia care began with the personal connection with her mom, leading her to immerse herself in the study of dementia and forge connections within the care community. Angela's innovative approach combines her product development skills with a deep understanding of caregivers' needs, resulting in stimulating Geri-Gadgets® that make a real difference in dementia care.

In this episode Angela also speaks about her processing of grief and the useful resource she found in the Grief Recovery Handbook.

If you wish to take a look at Geri-gadgets, you can check out Angela's website.  Angela will also be highlighting the products in the upcoming mini podcast episode that will be available in video format.

Transcript

Thank you for tuning in to the Island Treasures Podcast.

We value the insights shared by our guests and hosts, but it's important to note that their personal experiences are intended to inform and encourage, and not to replace professional, legal or medical advice.

With that, we are ready for today's exciting episode.

Welcome to Island Treasures, a place for caregivers to hear encouragement from other caregivers who by sharing their experiences, offer helpful information and resources for your caregiving journey.

I am your host and caregiver consultant, Alison van Schie from beautiful Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada.

And before we dive in to today's episode, I want to let you know that Island Treasures is set up to receive fan mail, so you can text the podcast directly through the link at the bottom of the show notes.

My guest today was caregiving for her mother who was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia after being misdiagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and having several hospitalizations.

She had also been prescribed seven different medications, each with varying effects. It was when my guest observed a simple action that she identified her mother's sensory needs.

And this led to an innovation that ultimately made a huge difference, not only in providing care, but also in tempering her mom's behaviors. Let's hear more from my guest as she tells it best. So join me now as I welcome Angela Fairhurst.

Welcome, Angela. It's lovely to have you as a guest on the Island Treasures podcast today.

Thanks so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here.

Yeah, it's my pleasure too. So let's get started with your caregiving story.

Well, it was a rough road. My mom had Lewy body dementia, but she was miscegenosed with Alzheimer's. She had early signs, which I saw, but I didn't really exactly know what it was.

But the first time I really noticed it was when she had a pacemaker put in, because she was getting dizzy and her blood pressure would drop.

And so she had a pacemaker put in and had anesthesia, and she was at the hospital and she had no idea where she was at that time. And that's when I called my brother, who's a physician, and said, Mom's losing it. And he said, No, no, she's fine.

And, but she wasn't. And he didn't really realize it. He was on the East Coast.

I'm on the West Coast seeing that until she packed 16 pairs of pants and one shirt when she went to see him. And that's when she had to, he had her tested. And that's when the results came out as Alzheimer's, but it was actually Alzheimer's.

So it was seven anti-psychotic medications later. She was home for four years, but then it was 36 hours of care needed in 24 hours during the day. And that was too dangerous for her to be home.

I mean, she was found in the garage. She was, you know, took a knife to her care partner. It was not good.

So yeah, it was awful, really awful. She was paranoid. She was scared.

It was dangerous for her to be at home. So that's when she went to a care home. But that's not when we found out still.

She was still being treated as an Alzheimer's patient. And so was me going to see her every other day, at least, leaving, crying. I mean, I couldn't bear to see her over medicated.

And just once the, it was the seventh medication that was the tipping point in this journey of fear and tears and horrendous journey that where she was losing weight and it wasn't right. I mean, it wasn't at a UTI.

I could tell those, call those out every time. This was different. And I went three out of four days in a row and she was non-responsive.

And that was 911. And she went to UCLA Medical Center and she had lost 17 pounds in three weeks and was two liters short of fluid. And I don't know how she made it through that one, but she did.

She was stronger than I'll get out. We changed care communities and she was in a small care home and I still saw her struggle. She was just fighting, biting, kicking.

And it was this need to communicate. Her fear was in her eyes. It was scary, actually.

And I saw her pulling on a magazine with her right hand. She had a clenched left hand and rubbing on the paper and rolling it in her fingers. And I thought this, I saw this intense sensory need.

And that's when I started bringing things to her. So it started with a bucket from the toy department from Toys R Us when they were still around.

And it had those shapes and she had the clenched hand and she couldn't possibly get a shape into the hole that they had and the bucket. But she was very curious about the bucket.

And then I was on a mission to find things that would work to stimulate her. And that's when I went and got fabrics and cut those up. And that was no good because they were shredding and just got dirty and it was just no good.

And all the fidget items had goo inside and she'd pull on those and those are toxic when they're mouthed and that didn't work.

And so my aha moment came when I had cut a silicone pot holder down to size and she had, when folded like a taco and crunched, this sound stimulated her and she tapped on it like, and we could throw it back and forth.

But when it was just magical, when we threw it back and forth, she's laughing, she was engaged, she was having fun. And that was it. I was on a mission to find things that were non-toxic, that stimulate her like that.

And all the behaviors went away. None of that kicking, biting, any of that happened anymore. It was just the end of me crying.

It was just the beginning of us being able to connect and the caregivers being able to work with her. And she would stay busy for three hours on end.

And it lasted all the way to the very late stage, where she still stayed engaged in some way or another. And that's why I had to bring them to market.

I just had to, because if it could make a difference for somebody as complicated as her, I could make a difference globally for a lot of caregivers.

And it all started with the observation of you seeing her touching the paper, rolling the paper in her fingers. So Angela, how long did it take before she got a better diagnosis or a more accurate diagnosis for herself?

It was four years in.

Yeah. And what triggered the accurate diagnosis?

Well, that seventh hospitalization. I know.

Awful. And it was Lewy body dementia.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And it was all those seven medications were all bad reactions to antipsychotic pharmacological drugs that she didn't need. You know, medicine works when it's appropriately distributed, but a lot of people are overmedicated and misdiagnosed.

And there's a lot of, you know, people get dementia and they have multiple kinds of dementia. And the brain is a tough one, right? So it's not so easy to determine.

So we have to be very careful in the world of dementia as to what we're giving people to sedate them or whatever. And I just think there's so many alternatives to medication to make somebody calm.

And you found one. You discovered one. And you created one.

Yeah.

So that's my mission, really. And it's a lot cheaper than medicine.

Yeah, that's true.

It's a lot cheaper than other caregivers trying to help somebody. And it's a lesson in patience and really observing what their needs are and finding that key.

And you knew your mom. You knew what was typical for her and what was not typical for her. And the aggression, the violence, the knife towards her caregiver, like, you saved a life.

Yeah, well, she probably, I mean, she was never a violent person.

She would never do any of those kinds of things. That was medication that made her crazy, basically. And we know dementia is not a psychiatric problem.

It's a neurological problem. And when you create a psychiatric problem with this anti-psychotic, it's the wrong chemistry.

It's making it worse, definitely.

Yeah.

So your mom was not violent in any way, and this was a complete change for her with the wrong medications.

Yeah. And that was one medication. And we went through seven of these.

I mean, one medication made her take her clothes off in the middle of the hallway. Another one made her crawl on the floor like a dog. I mean, it was just, you know, it was...

And were you hopeful that each one would be the right one?

Well, I think my brother, as a physician, was.

He was, you know, he's a research doctor, and he would deal with the doctor, and he would think that one would be different than the next. And they call it trained incapacity.

And I learned this from one of the people that I've been talking to since I entered the health care, right, since the beginning of the year, which I'm new to the community, once I launched Geri-Gadgets, which is only the beginning of 2024.

But, and he was on the East Coast, and here I'm on the West Coast. And so he's just trying to help, but, you know, you can't see the forest through the trees when you're that close to it.

And so he's trying to be clinical, and this isn't about clinical.

It's about, you know, observation, and it's about, I don't know, but this is typical of a lot of doctors where maybe they're unhealthy, and they know how to administer the advice to other people, but not necessarily what's right, what's in front of

And it's his frame of reference, too.

It's his expertise. It's his language. Whereas you're seeing mom, you're seeing her, you're interacting with her.

You know it's not working.

Yeah, and, you know, you're there on the day to day.

And I think maybe it's part of maybe, and I don't know, I don't want to really get into the psychological study of it, but I'm sure it's kind of maybe related to not being present and maybe feeling a little guilty that you can't be, you know, a lot

of caregiving is, we are, we do feel a lot of guilt if we can't help feeling helpless, you know, and maybe that's our way of feeling, trying to help. You know, it's not like he intended to have her be sick.

No, he wanted to heal her. And like I said, he was using his expertise and his lens, his frame of reference. Yeah, I don't know your brother, so I'm not defending him.

But I'm not mad at him for trying his best.

I mean, he didn't, we didn't know any better. What I've learned is through the process. I mean, until she had a proper diagnosis, we didn't know that we were doing more harm than good.

Really, we didn't know. Now I have a proper lens. I understand dementia so much better than we both do.

I mean, Gary wasn't an expert in dementia at all. Just at medical.

How many caregivers is that the norm for? You just jump right into caregiving and you don't have the background. You don't have the information about dementia.

You don't. How can you? Which is why these podcasts are so informative and so helpful.

And so are Geri-Gadgets. Thank you.

Geri-Gadgets are more than just a product. I think it's really an approach. It's really about trying to spread the word that we need to observe, that we need engagement, that we need to...

I'm glad they're here and they are patented and they're safe and they're silicone washable and all of these things.

But that understanding dementia and the person, and taking the time and being patient, and being present, and understanding that there can be joy, and meeting someone where they are, and not being upset about letting go of the past.

That person, just because they can't do the things they once did, doesn't mean they're not still there. And we don't know what they know in that brain. Everybody's different.

We don't know how much they're retaining. So we have to be very careful not to talk in front of them about things like they're not there. We have to be very careful to stay calm in front of them.

And not, you know, I didn't cry in front of my mom. I'd leave and cry in the car when I was upset about her. You know, it's really hard.

And we also have to take care of ourselves so that we can properly take care of them. You know, our self-care is really important. And Geri-Gadgets do that as well, because there's a respite to them.

You know, you know that if you put a Geri-Gadget bucket in front of someone with dementia, that they're going to be safe, that they can mow that, that they can stay busy, that they're not going to get up, you know, because they're bored with it, you

know, and fall in front of it. You know, that they can shower with it. It's washable if they're, you know, attached to an object. You don't have to take it away to get them in the shower.

They can hold on to that and it's safe. You know, there's a lot of benefits to having something that's safe. That give caregiving relief.

Yeah, so you're speaking about it as an opportunity for respite and I'm envisioning it also as a time that you spend with your loved one and it's one-on-one.

And I think that's so well meaning as well because they're getting the attention. They're getting the comfort of you being with them. And yet you've got something to focus on.

Well, I think it bridges the gap of all, of any visitation and it just makes that so much easier because you don't have to interview somebody when you visit them.

If you don't have to say, do you remember me? Do you know my name? What did you eat today?

You don't that none of these things are necessary when you can just engage. And my mom couldn't look at me necessarily, but the colorfulness, you know, she had cataracts forming and you know, dementia patients just stare into space or into blanks.

But something colorful like Geri-Gadgets, but not childish, right? We're respecting this human being, they're adults. And you know, she would focus on that.

And then the head that was down would come up.

It would interest her.

It would interest her. And then she would be engaging. And so that joy would come out and that made me happy.

It didn't matter that she knew who I was or not. Because those moments we could share. And you know, sometimes they're just glimmers.

It's like a little, but it doesn't matter. You know, a little is something. Just even holding on to something, especially in the later stage, it all works.

So wonderfully, a little goes a long way when it's that, you know?

Yeah, a little goes a long way. And it's about care. And so because this is an audio podcast, Angela, would you mind describing Geri-Gadgets?

Well, Geri-Gadgets come in silicone buckets.

They're wipeable. They're cleanable in soap or water, hot or cold, and they are dishwasher safe. So I have three buckets.

One is a flower bucket. It's bright yellow, comes with four tulips, a vase, and three leaves. The vase has cutouts of stars.

The tulips or the leaves can go in the side of the vase as well as the traditional way. You know, everybody loves flowers, so they're really pretty.

The tulips are so strong that the user can put the heads inside of each other or even on the side of the vase or on the side of the Geri-Gadget bucket. So that explains that one. I have the Fidget-Gidget bucket.

I love that, the Fidget-Gidget.

That is so creative.

Well, I trademarked that.

Oh, did you? I love that, Fidget-Gidget.

That's five manipulatives of different textures and structure so that they, you know, anybody even, you know, we all like to fidget, right?

So in the Fidget-Gidget bucket, I just take it out because it makes it easier for me, as the original is, the sensory mat, which is what is similar to a cut down pot holder.

And I call it the sensory mat, which is can be folded in half like a taco for the noise. So it's a honeycomb surfaced small version at a frisbee. So you can throw it back and forth.

You can twist it on the table, and they certainly can mow it if they like, but it's something that has that sort of texture. So that noise sometimes really works, and it's a cool, interesting texture for the fingers.

I have a therapad, which is a popper that is high quality, but it's the shape of a triangle. Again, it works in the hand. Very cool, because a triangle shape is really an unusual shape, and the pop sounds are made louder than normal.

But again, if somebody is hard of hearing, you're not going to hear it. This is the click chain. This you can hear for sure.

It is cool.

The click chain is a segmented chain that won't fit over the head, but it makes a crackling sound, so it's safe.

But it can go in all shapes, and it's colorful and bright, and the sound can remind you of cracking ice or walking on leaves, so it stimulates memory, and it's certainly great exercise for the hands and arms.

I have a tugger, which is made with colorful straws and elastic, and it's a hexagonal. And this is great for exercising the hands and arms, and it can be pulled and pushed and tugged, but one person too.

You don't have to be left-handed, right-handed, or one-handed. Some people have no ability to use a hand, so it's okay.

And it folds up really clever. That's really neat.

It folds up clever, it dances down. It's so, it's something that keeps you busy.

Very scientific-looking because of the geometric shapes, right? Yeah, cool.

And then I have an A, which has basically, we say this, fits in the Goldilocks zone, so it's the perfect shape.

Like an anti-stress ball.

It is. So it's a familiar shape, and if they do mouth it, it's fine, because it won't leave any bite marks, and it's certainly not going to, it has no goo inside, and it is great for exercising the hand and really strengthening the hand.

So that's the Fidget-Gidget bucket.

And then I have the Shapes bucket, which comes in an orange bucket, and I was inspired by Tetris, which has Tetris-shaped pieces in bright colors that are really pretty, and they can fit together in any configuration.

This is a fault-free toy, basically, and I don't really call it a toy. I call it a tool. But the pieces can be stood up horizontally or laid flat.

If they have more dexterity, they can be stacked upon one another. But unlike Legos, they don't have to click in together, so there's no wrong answer. There are stars on one surface and a smooth surface.

The bucket can be used or not used to build, and that's really it. There's 10 pieces in it and just endless possibilities of fun. This is a great thing to do with somebody and as a team and as a group.

And by the way, I just got an email from somebody who said they enjoyed their community, enjoyed the fidget-gidget bucket a lot, and they took the egg and rolled it around the table back and forth to everybody in their group, and they were belly

Oh, fun.

It would go in not straight lines.

Yeah, but fun, right?

Yeah. And with your Tetris-inspired shapes, if they fall on the floor, like a Lego would hurt to step on, but they wouldn't hurt to step on.

Nothing hurts, and then everything can be washed.

Yeah.

And the buckets are so silicone, it doesn't hold heat or odor, and they're so washable, and the soothing texture of it, a lot of people do even just hold on and rub on the bucket. And so that's what's great about it.

The container is also part of the tool. It's not just a container. So those are them, and that's why they're patented, and there's a lot of more ideas in the pipeline for the future.

And you have a team.

You have a team that you consult with to create these gadgets.

Angela's the team.

The Angela team.

No, I mean, I have a gerontologist that I run everything by and everything like that, and I have a designer who draws up the ideas technically and makes them into workable items, but I create them. The ideation came from me.

Oh, all because of observing your mom. I love that. Like, if you hadn't observed her rubbing that paper, where would you be?

She wouldn't have had happy years.

Oh, I think she would have died a lot sooner, actually. Honestly, you know, and yeah, and I just think she wouldn't have had quality of life, and we wouldn't have had peace of mind.

Those are two things that we really want to have with our loved ones.

Well, I love the word engage. I think the fact that you could engage with her where you weren't able to engage with her when you were going through the testing of the different medications.

And then when you had your aha moment and you were able to engage with her, it just paints such a beautiful picture of being with your mom in the moment.

Yeah, and it made it just so easy for my kids to visit. And yeah, I think that it's so hard for people to handle when they see someone diminished.

And they stay away, and that's scary.

Yes, and I'm going to also tell you that my brother has one child, my niece. He told her that she didn't have to visit because she couldn't quote unquote handle it for the last four years of my mom's life. And that sends the wrong message.

That says you can put somebody away because you can afford to and leave them there. That's wrong with our country. Like the family unit just, oh, it's okay to put somebody away.

I just think that's so horrible.

And that's another reason why it was so important for me to bring something like this, because I want to make it easier for people to be comfortable in in dementia and be comfortable with the disease to say, look, it doesn't have to all be bad.

You know, yes, it's a horrible thing. But you know what? The longer, the more we keep people engaged, they don't have to go into late stage dementia.

You know, the more they get to be treated as human beings and the respected adults and engaged on a daily basis and staying active and getting that exercise and eating right and doing all of these things, engaging, listening to music.

Music's amazing. And doing activities like Geri-Gadgets and having things like that, they don't have to go into late stage dimension until the last 5% of their life.

It really can be a very fulfilling life of joy, even though they can't do those things that they once could, even though they're not the human being they were, even though they can't work and they might be in a diaper.

It doesn't mean that it's a decent and so horrible, you know, they can still feel the joy of having someone spend time with them, be with them and just love on them.

Yeah, even if they don't know who they are exactly. It doesn't matter. And it's the same thing with animal therapy, right?

It works too. No, it's beautiful. Everybody wants to be loved.

It doesn't necessarily matter if it's it's warmth. It's just warm.

So you've mentioned music and now you've mentioned animal therapy. Did you use animal therapy with your mom?

Well, we tried. I mean, early on, she had a dog and we brought her. But again, with cataracts and stuff, she couldn't really see the dog too much.

So it didn't last that long, unfortunately. But I understand, you know, the Joy Pets, a lot of those kinds of things work really, really well. Our business model is similar to them, which I like them, you know.

But again, because the pets didn't work, Geri-Gadgets is a really good replacement for that kind of thing. You don't have to have a fur baby to have that kind of soothing kind of environment.

Maybe you could create some furry gadgets.

Well, they're probably not going to be furry because you can't get them in their mouth. But silicone is a beautiful product. And technology is that it can look like, the scenery of it can look like that.

So it might be able to, in the future, have things like that. You know, there is animal bucket in the future.

Is there?

Yeah.

It's fascinating. It really is.

You know, because you do need variety. They're not going to wear out. So you just want different things.

But remember, you know, a dementia patient, you can't leave them on the shelf, right? You have to bring them out. They're not going to go and get them.

A caregiver cannot just leave them on the shelf. And expect them to go to them. And that's the same thing with anything, right?

You can't just buy something and then, oh, they didn't do it one day. Doesn't mean they're not going to do it the next. Or the next, or the next, or the next week.

Oh, just because they didn't engage for five minutes one day doesn't mean they won't engage an hour the next. Every day is different, and every day the person is different. And every day is a new awakening with the Geri-Gadget bucket.

So never give up, never give up, and always bring it out, because you never know what day, what it's going to bring, because different things on different days will be different, and different stages of dementia will bring out different engagement

activities. And that's why there's a variety, and that's why there will continue to be a variety, because people will change what perks them up and draws their interest in. And they should be involved in the discovery process.

Now, if they're not capable of taking the lid off, you take the lid off for them. But it's about giving them the time to discover and not hurrying them through the process, because you'll find that the engagement really will happen.

And then you can slowly take out. There was a gentleman that when I went to a care home community, he was in a wheelchair and his head was down. And basically, you know, you're being told, oh, you know, this one doesn't even talk.

And I handed him the tugger. I touched his hands and I put it in his hands. And I said, see, you know, put it in his fingers.

And I'm holding his hands with my hands. Look, you can pull on this. Look how colorful it is.

So nice and colorful. And you can stretch it and you can push on it and you can pull on it. And I showed him what it did.

And he takes hold of it and he takes a couple minutes and he just holds it there. He doesn't let go, but he's not pulling on it at the minute. And a minute later, two minutes later, he starts pulling on it.

And then he sees that pulling on it more and more and more and more. Right. So he starts to get really engaged.

The executive director is like, wow, he's exercising his hands and arms. This is something he doesn't do. Right.

Couple minutes after that, few minutes after that, his head comes up. Right. He stopped looking at it and he starts looking at the group playing other Geri-Gadgets.

And he starts talking.

Whoa.

I know. Amazing. Amazing.

And my heart's going like, oh my God, doing the right thing. Look, I can engage anyone. All of that group engaged.

And there was one person who walked around the room and was very active, but not engaging with us. And caregiver said, don't mind her, just let her be. And this was an aggressive person.

And I think two pieces dropped on the floor. And she was in and out of that room, in and out of that room. Everybody else was busy.

You know, one person had shapes in their mouth, and another person had just had a flower in their mouth. And it didn't matter, right? It doesn't matter.

We've wiped off everything in between, and I'm going to dishwasher everything later. But everybody's having different pieces of engagement. And when you have all of the buckets together, people created a village.

It's pretty exciting. But this woman sees the two pieces on the floor, and she now comes in and picks them up and is helping, and puts them down. Yes, even she was engaged in her way.

Yeah, yeah.

To me, when you see that happen in the community setting like that, it also works really great.

You're not rushing them, though.

You're giving them time, and you're working at their own pace.

Like even with that gentleman, you're waiting, you're watching him explore, and you're watching him learn or experience it, and you didn't see him for a minute and go, oh, he's not engaged. I'm just going to take this off him. You let him.

You just let him. You let him be.

It's awesome. And then it's funny too, because another woman had the flower bucket on her lap, and with Parkinson's, oh, she's not going to touch anything or she's not going to move or something.

And when people are negative like that, I especially want to challenge that because that's so not the case. And even they're shaking, they're picking up that flower and it gets there, and it might take a while to get into that bucket.

You don't want to help them. They'll get there. They will get there.

If they ask for help, you can help, but they get there. And it doesn't matter if it goes upside down. Like I said, it doesn't matter if it goes partially.

It doesn't, because that sense of accomplishment is something so exuberant for them. It's great, right?

I love that they combine the three buckets as well. That's clever, because they're totally a different focus.

Completely, and then they can stack them any which way, and they can create a community out of the bucket. So that happened, and that was fun.

So take me back. You said they launched in 2023 or 2024?

Well, they landed in the United States technically in the end of 2023. Yeah, so you could purchase them in December of 2023, but I didn't officially launch them until January of 2024.

So I did an announcement, a press release and kind of thing like that. I have, because I'm self-invested, a very limited marketing budget.

It takes me doing things like this to try and get word out right now, and people are starting to learn about Geri-Gadgets, and it's getting there. But it takes time for that, but I'm doing the best I can.

Oh, I think you're doing very well, because I see Geri-Gadgets in a lot of social media now. So you're doing something right. You're doing something right.

Yeah, it's starting to catch on.

And it takes getting out there and seeing it and actually touching it, because you see it in 2D and you don't really know. Even if you see it in a video, you still don't really know.

And when you touch it and you feel it and you engage with it, then you know, this is amazing. It's super high quality. It's super high value for the high quality that it is.

Buy it once and you want it forever, knowing that it's never going to wear out.

That's a great summary. And I hope folks will take the opportunity to check it out for themselves. Now, I'd like to take you back to our first conversation.

When we spoke before, you talked about the Grief Recovery Handbook. Yeah. Would you care to share how you've used that in your own personal journey?

My mom was misdiagnosed with Alzheimer's at the time.

My dad was dying of lung cancer. It was a year I want to give back. And so I found the Grief Recovery Handbook as an amazing tool.

And I have no, I don't even know the authors. I have no anything for it, but it was something that I did. For my mom, my dad, my brother was actually having a very hard time, my younger brother, not the older one mentally.

So it was something that I, you know, they give you very simple exercises to be able to handle your grief and put it aside. And so I was able to write about my mom and put aside the mother that I once knew.

And it was the ultimate in acceptance of putting the mom I once knew aside and accepting her for who she was going to be on the day she was.

So it was living in the now and just being able to handle that grief and putting it in the right perspective and loving her for who she was on the day. And living in the now with her. And that's how I handled it.

It was really, really helpful. And that's what we have to do. We can't wish them back.

They don't come back. And that's medicine is made to make people better. And you can't make people better with dementia right now.

We don't have that technology right now.

The grief recovery handbook applies to so many different types of grief. And you're right. You write the letter.

And like you say, then you're kind of closing that and moving forward to the now. But did someone introduce you to it?

I honestly, I also was getting a divorce. I can't even remember. I was married 20 years.

I can't remember exactly who introduced me to it at the time. I don't even remember.

So you were grieving your relationship as well.

I wrote about that as well. Yeah. You can write about grief comes in all forms.

Like you said, a career, change of a career, a friendship. That's ended, and I used it for all of those things. Because sometimes you just have to move on.

And it's a great tool. I just gave one as a birthday present to a friend of mine who lost his wife. She had a bad disease, died too young.

Yeah.

It's a tough topic, but even tougher to go through. But I remember we talked about that when we spoke, and I wanted you to share more about that because it is such a good tool, a great resource for caregivers.

Even if you're grieving the loss of a dream, your future with someone, you can write about that. And it's so practical. It's just such a help.

Yeah.

And I know there are caregiver groups out there, and I think they're more and more growing. But when you don't have that or you don't feel you have that, there are tools like that. And I think that book is online, Amazon, and I don't even know.

And it's been out a long time, and I know there's new versions of it. It's the cheapest tool to use. But when you write something, and I use writing as a tool all the time, if I'm angry, you know, I write anyway.

But if you're angry about something, you know, rather than saying it to the person, I'll write out something, right? And then I vent, and then either I let that go, or I rewrite it into a nice way later.

But I never just blurt out what I'm angry about. But that's how I put it on paper, to use that as a tool, because we have to get out our feelings. You know, that's just another method of self-care.

Just like exercise, I do that. I'm really consistent about exercise. I'm really consistent about eating well, although I still like sugar.

Yeah.

Oh, that darn sugar.

Yeah. But all of these self-care things are exercise, and I'm not a really good meditator. I'll admit that I have to have it.

If I do meditate, it has to be guided because I have a busy brain.

Very active, very creative brain. I've noticed that about you. The first time we met, it's like, she's creative.

Very busy in here.

That's why I love to spin because I actually do actively meditate.

So spin cycle?

Yeah, but I do that two or three times a week. And then I do, you know, I don't do any heavy weight lifting or anything, but like Pilates type.

Oh, Pilates is fantastic.

It's all mind, body, soul, you know, all has to work to. I feel like an entrepreneur is hard, right?

Being an entrepreneur is hard. Sure, it is.

It's really hard. Television producing was my career, and I managed 300 people, and you know, at a time on a big show, and that was easier.

I know it's funny, because I come from a career as well, and no, you never work as hard as you do when you're working your own business by yourself.

Right.

It's very hard.

And I do have really good advisors, and but it's hard.

Yeah, I was going to say, processing your emotions through writing is brilliant, because out of that, and like, you're taming it down. Like you said, if you're angry, you needed to kind of reduce some of the anger and then rewrite it.

But it is really a good way for processing your emotions and getting some good ideas out. Like I find that when I write, that's when the ideas come. It's just really cool.

Yeah.

And it's funny because everything is our story, right? It all is our story. It just really is.

I mean, my products, my story, my life is my story. Everything we do is our story. And writing about it, it just, it does get it out.

Yeah. And I guide my kids that way. My son, you know, he lives in Australia.

My daughter lives in New York. I'm like, make, make your list, like the positives and the negatives, you know, weigh that, or write it down and then, then rewrite it.

And then you can use AI if you can't find an appropriate way to say it, maybe, you know, write it down and then maybe ask for help. But you can't vent if you're having something right for you.

No, no, venting, venting through AI. Not, not heard of that.

Well, AI is part of our life now. And AI is helping a lot of caregivers. But the problem is, is that the systems aren't talking to one another, and they need to.

And the systems are very immature right now, and they need to grow up.

They're like in kindergarten, and they need the learning curve of going from kindergarten to they need to graduate high school and college before all of them can talk to one another and not be as expensive as they are.

Remember how everything was so expensive when we first got flat screen TVs, and now we can buy a huge flat screen TV that's not going to cost as much?

Well, once the technology gets to the point where it gets easier, to turn on nine different systems and have them not talk to one another is not helpful, and it's expensive.

So once AI can help a caregiver relieve that time instead of taking all this time to do all these things, and then Geri-Gadgets ultimately, here's something you can do while we're doing that.

But ultimately in my future, I futureize that, you know, there'll be, you know, a system maybe to help with something as non-technological as Geri-Gadgets, but we need to have those basics because now everybody's focusing on so much technology that

things as simple as Geri-Gadgets are getting lost. And we need things that are simple. We need things that take no training. Geri-Gadgets are great because you don't need to train caregiver to use them.

You don't need to have any education to hand somebody with dementia, a Geri-Gadgets bucket. A toddler can play with their grandmother and not have to train to use them. And we know they're absolutely going to be safe.

So this is why its timing is really good in the world of technology because we have so much technology. We're getting lost in the simple things. And sometimes less is more.

Less is more.

And how many elderly folks are not tech-savvy? Most. Yeah, I mean, I think that the baby boomers were doing okay.

But beyond that, we're fine.

But like my stepmother, I don't have my mom and dad are gone. My dad was married to Lynn Millers, her name, and she's 83 or 4.

Anyway, she couldn't, because of the computer now and her vision, she is macular degeneration and she couldn't book her airline ticket because there are too many side things for her. Do you want this? Do you want this?

Do you want this? It was so complicated, and she was a computer scientist, and she had to call to get her reservation because there were too many side things for her and it got her confused.

She knows how to use the computer, and she couldn't book her own airline reservation. That's not okay.

Yeah. So bring on Geri-Gadgets.

So bring on Geri-Gadgets.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah.

So Angela, how can folks reach you and find out more about Geri-Gadgets?

I am reachable by Angela at gerigadgets.com, or info at gerigadgets.com. Don't forget the dash. It's an email.

I'm certainly available through the website, gerigadgets.com. You don't need a dash. If you're going to go to the website, it's also Geri-Gadgets without a dash.com.

So either way, remember it's with the G, G-E-R-I. So the website too. We have Instagram.

You can DM me there. We have Facebook. We have LinkedIn.

So I'm very accessible.

Awesome. So Angela, I just want to thank you so much for sharing your story today and for introducing the listeners to Geri-Gadgets so that they too can engage with their loved one in a very simplistic way.

My pleasure. I'm so happy to be here.

Angela navigated challenges of caregiving as well as periods of grief. In caregiving, she discovered an engaging approach to dementia care. And in processing her grief, she found the Grief Recovery Handbook provided an effective approach for her.

Angela reminded us that it doesn't have to all be bad. There are ways to enhance your loved one's quality of life, making it more comfortable for them and for yourself as their caregiver by offering you moments of respite.

Creating Geri-Gadgets has provided an approach to understanding dementia. And bringing out the buckets has been a game changer to help folks engage with their loved ones, reclaiming joy and peace of mind.

Whether it's the flower bucket, the shapes bucket or the fidget-gidget bucket, there's one waiting to provide therapeutic benefits for you and your loved one.

And just a heads up, if you'd like to see what Geri-Gadgets look like, stay tuned for the upcoming mini podcast episode where Angela showcases Geri-Gadgets. And that episode will be available in video format on YouTube as well as audio.

If you'd like to contact Angela or find out more about Geri-Gadgets, visit her website gerigadgets.com. That's gerigerigadgets.com.

And if you're in the midst of your own caregiving journey and need some supports, I invite you to tap into the resources on alongsidecaregiverconsulting.ca.

Thank you for tuning in today and to Angela Fairhurst, thank you for sharing your caregiving story and how it led to the creation of Geri-Gadgets. If you enjoyed today's episode, and I hope you did, tell your friends and other caregivers about it.

And if you don't want to miss future episodes, be sure to subscribe to the Island Treasures Podcasts. See you next episode.