THESHITSHOWS
What can we say to catch your attention? WHATS YOUR FAVORITE 4 LETTER WORD ?
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THESHITSHOWS
Beer Wenches and Fake Nips: When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
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What is up, buddy?
Speaker 2:Feliz Navidad, motherfucker.
Speaker 1:Isn't that like Merry Christmas?
Speaker 2:I got dyslexia, sorry.
Speaker 1:Oh, what is Feliz Navidad? It's Merry Christmas. I want to miss you. Merry Christmas, yeah, I don't know where that comes from.
Speaker 2:Well, it's not all those words, but I think it's Merry Christmas. No, yeah, well, I don't know where it come from. I mean, it came from the Mexicans.
Speaker 1:Well, no shit, I mean I would think it would come from the Mexicans.
Speaker 2:Enough about the Mexicans. It was Irish Day last weekend.
Speaker 1:It was.
Speaker 2:We got nasty. I mean them damn Irish.
Speaker 1:That Irish, the Irish will get you.
Speaker 2:It was had a little St Patty's Day party.
Speaker 1:Man, it was a good time.
Speaker 2:Had a little DJ, had some chick attendees.
Speaker 1:Got a little dance on. Got a little dance on.
Speaker 2:I didn't get my dance on. I don't know why I was fucking too busy being harassed the whole fucking night.
Speaker 1:When you show up dressed up like that, it tends to it happens.
Speaker 2:Wasn't my idea, I was coerced into it. Well you, you said yes, real quick. Okay, first off, I didn't know that that was a what do they call that? A part two of one of two costume situations. I thought it was one of one. I didn't know it had a meaning, I wasn't aware of that. See, I did say yes, but I didn't know the full story.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, so now I know how your wife feels.
Speaker 2:Well, you did wear it, I did wear it.
Speaker 1:You look, hot. Yeah, if you're on our Facebook page, you can see those pictures. Pictures will be online. They are pretty outstanding.
Speaker 2:I will say this we did hit the Beverage Depot, our local pub, afterwards and we were the talk of the bar. We was taking pictures shaking hands, kissing babies and shit.
Speaker 1:Like we were running for Congress.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was something.
Speaker 1:Until you busted your titty out. Oh yeah, I busted it out To a family.
Speaker 2:I had girls licking them. Whoa, not the family, what the fuck was that there was another.
Speaker 1:Where the fuck do we have ice cream?
Speaker 2:Exactly, there was another lady that generously tasted my nips, my fake nips. That's very strange. Courtesy of the model. Appreciate them.
Speaker 1:They came in handy, courtesy of the models.
Speaker 2:They came in handy.
Speaker 1:You know, I mean, I wasn't even thinking about you wearing those until you wore them. I was like, oh my God, this is such a great shirt, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, when I tried it on, I was like it's missing something. And boom, light bulb, and I think I had to run up here to get them.
Speaker 1:I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 2:They were.
Speaker 1:I kept grabbing them all night. Kept asking if you want me to make you a drink.
Speaker 2:Fucking stinking. Never mind, I'm not Never mind.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't think I was treating you like a woman, was I?
Speaker 2:You just treated me like I was a whore.
Speaker 1:Well, honey, you kept having your straps fall down.
Speaker 2:I kept having to put them up for you, that's the one I couldn't get the honey, honey, honey, you need anything?
Speaker 1:no, get the fuck off me it was a good time for st patty's day it was, I don't know if you can tell, but I've still got a little orange in my hair. It's hard to get him to come out yeah, he came out. Uh, he was the biggest leprechaun I've ever seen it was a mighty leprechaun yes yep, and there was a pot of gold he's looking for his gold yep, too bad my, my granddaughter, come home early.
Speaker 2:What'd she say?
Speaker 1:Mimi, you sleep on couch. I'm like motherfucker, Ten more minutes I'd have been wrinkled to sheets. Took an old cop blocker Right. That's what I'm thinking my wife did say she'd make up for it. She ain't made up for it yet, yeah.
Speaker 2:We're going to have to hold her accountable.
Speaker 1:I think we do Hold her down what.
Speaker 2:I don't think she's going to. Let us hold her down.
Speaker 1:She's definitely not going to let us, but we can't hold her accountable. So, man, I got some weird things to test your knowledge.
Speaker 2:Is this anything like that was last week? Yeah, something like that you know, I had some people tell me that they actually enjoyed that I enjoyed it. Yeah, I enjoyed the hell out of it.
Speaker 1:I got some words here that the kids said it shows how dumb I am, but Did you know that birds do not urinate?
Speaker 2:No, I did not.
Speaker 1:That's strange to me.
Speaker 2:So all they do is poop.
Speaker 1:That's all standing up. I knew that.
Speaker 2:I did know that.
Speaker 1:I figured you'd know that one. You know the bat is the only mammal capable of flight.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I could see that, now that you put it that way.
Speaker 1:Some people think all birds. They're just not mammals. Yeah, even snakes can see you when their eyes are closed. See, I knew them, motherfuckers were sneaky.
Speaker 2:Well see, I don't know that they can see you. I think they can sense you with their tongue. That's what their tongue is.
Speaker 1:It still says see you through their eyelids.
Speaker 2:Huh, okay, who am I to argue with the internet?
Speaker 1:I'm not going to stick my hand in a snake. I'll be like oh, he got his eyes closed, yeah, yeah let's go Not happening All right, despite their fluffy white actually black I knew it, I'm black really yeah I knew it.
Speaker 2:I want to shave.
Speaker 1:I want to get one and shave it now, let's go that road trip, road trip. You know, the average house fly only lives two to three weeks I can see that yeah so that fucking pesty fly just let him. Let him fly around for two, three weeks well, that's the thing.
Speaker 2:if they get in your house, they don't normally last, depending on the time of year. They don't last overnight, they pretty much die. I don't know what it is. I guess, because they're the light, they always end up in the windowsill behind the blinds Trying to get out.
Speaker 1:Yeah and die.
Speaker 2:I don't know if they die from lack of oxygen or just bashing their head up against the window. Do their head?
Speaker 1:up against the window. Do you know? An elephant weighs less than a tongue of a blue whale.
Speaker 2:A what?
Speaker 1:An elephant weighs less than the tongue of a blue whale.
Speaker 2:Are you serious, uh-huh.
Speaker 1:And a blue whale's heart is the size of a car. Wow, that's crazy. Right that is. It's a big animal.
Speaker 2:So I will say this, you can call me whatever you want, but I am a big fan. My wife hates it. No, I shouldn't say she hates it. She'll come in and be like what are you watching? But I'm a blue planet.
Speaker 1:Dude, I love anytime David Albury comes out with something new. His voice just mesmerizes me.
Speaker 2:They have one on I don't know if it's on like Apple or Hulu or something like that that I'm wanting to say Morgan Freeman does.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, that's the something of life. Yeah, yeah, that's a good one, and I love me some Morgan Freeman, I can watch that shit. My wife can't stand him either.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go as Morgan Freeman for Halloween.
Speaker 1:Well, you got plenty of time to get some sun.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm not going to get too much of a tan. I'm Because you know he has that you haven't noticed that he had some kind of car accident. I didn't know that I think it's his right or one of his hands. He can't move it, so it stays like that, so he puts a black sleeve over it.
Speaker 3:Really Look it up.
Speaker 2:I did not know that Well. As a matter of fact, when he was on the awards show last week or the week before last, you could see and he tries to match it with his suit I thought he was playing baseball you know how the baseball players wear those gloves when?
Speaker 1:they can slide.
Speaker 2:Well, the difference is baseball glove you can web your finger.
Speaker 1:So is it like a fake hand?
Speaker 2:It's still his hand, but he doesn't have. He's, I guess, paralyzed from the elbow down or some shit like that has he always been that way. No, no, no, it was a car accident. I'm going to say, saying I don't know for sure, for sure.
Speaker 1:So he's not doing any hand modeling?
Speaker 2:No, he's definitely, but with that voice you don't have to do hand modeling.
Speaker 1:I know, because he has that voice. I mean, you can't even mock that voice.
Speaker 2:It's like let's get it on. The only other voice that's that comforting is the dude from Silence, and the Lambs Rubs the lotion in the skin.
Speaker 1:Rubs the lotion on the skin Would you fuck me.
Speaker 2:Wow, I'd fuck me. That's what he says in the movie.
Speaker 1:I haven't seen that movie in a while. You haven't seen Silence? No, I've seen it. Oh, just you don't remember, I don't remember that part.
Speaker 2:I don't know how you can remember that. That's when he's towards the end of the movie, when they're about to bust him, and he's got that girl in the well little lace. Fucking deal. And he's like Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Boom.
Speaker 1:Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Boom.
Speaker 2:Boom, I like them.
Speaker 1:I like them, let's see, you know, a cockroach can survive for about a week without its head before dying of starvation. Fuck them, motherfuckers, fucking cockroach, a dolphin. When a dolphin is sick or injured, it cries for help with distress. Prompt other dolphins to assist. That's weird.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I've heard of it. Because I watched the Blue Planet, I've heard of them. They have that low frequency? Yeah, that was way not. That sounded nothing like a dolphin, that's just a whistle.
Speaker 1:You know, a snail could sleep for three years.
Speaker 2:Fucking snail, who gives a fuck about a?
Speaker 1:snail. I'm just saying, man.
Speaker 2:I don't understand how snails live.
Speaker 1:I really don't.
Speaker 2:I'd have to look that up, I look that up. I like putting salt on them, I know, but they're slow. What do they eat? I need to know some stuff about these people.
Speaker 1:We should Google that. I think next show we'll do all about snails.
Speaker 2:It's the snail show.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Everything snail, snails, snail trail.
Speaker 1:We have to talk like this about the snails One topic would be the whole show. It'd last like 30 minutes. Let's see what we got here. Uh, that's something about. I'm not reading all that shit. It's not about mary. You know kl produces nearly 200 000 glasses of milk in her lifetime. Wow, I can see that. You know a leech has 32 brains.
Speaker 2:What the fuck is a leech having 32 brains. For how do you eat? How do you drink milk, craig? No, you have a fucking ritual. It's gotta be ice cold yeah you gotta put it in the fucking freezer.
Speaker 1:I gotta put my glasses in the freezer or my milk in the freezer.
Speaker 2:So funny story. We was hanging out last weekend and, uh, Somebody brought some chocolate chip cookies. Well, luckily we live close to each other, but still the point is this man sitting next to me had to send his son four blocks over to go get milk.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because he couldn't eat a chocolate chip cookie.
Speaker 1:Well, first of all, you had milk in the freezer. And not only that.
Speaker 2:Not only that, not only that, he milked. He made vanilla ice cream with his chocolate chip cookie, ate that while his milk was in the freezer and then, after that, went and got the milk and drank the milk.
Speaker 1:I would think vanilla ice cream would have been. No, stephen, you got to have milked cookies. Not only did my son bring cookies cream or bring cookies, he stole them to know them.
Speaker 2:They lied Lied to my face.
Speaker 1:My dad said my dad said take him home.
Speaker 2:My dad said bring him home. But the point is I'm cool with that. But I told him. I looked him in dead in his eyes and I said that's fine. I say you're not taking the whole thing, Leave me some yeah shit I brought him. I said you're not taking the whole thing.
Speaker 1:Leave me some. Yeah, Motherfucker didn't leave me shit. I woke up the next morning I was like man, why are the cookies on the counter? I brought them and then I get a text from Mike.
Speaker 2:I said you could have left me just one. I said I couldn't get one cookie. So, later on that day he brings me a fucking cookie, cake it had just one written on it. It's like the size of my head Times two. It's like. It's like this size Size of a paper.
Speaker 1:Well, at least you got your cookie.
Speaker 2:I didn't get my cookie. We ate that whole.
Speaker 1:The average outdoor cat Lives only three years. Good.
Speaker 2:Fuck them, cats.
Speaker 1:While the indoor cat Can live up to 16 years.
Speaker 2:God damn it. Well, you throw yours outside, maybe it'll last a week, wow.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:There goes another sponsor PETA PETA.
Speaker 1:PETA, we would like to welcome you to the next show Speaking of PETA.
Speaker 2:I just read that, so I just started watching it. But you've watched the Righteous Gemstones.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I guess in the new season I don't know, I just started I'm on like episode one, literally, and I guess he has monkeys in the show. Oh yeah, pete is threatening to throw monkey poop on him when they see him.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:So you're watching it At Denny McBride. Oh, I love it. I love Denny McBride.
Speaker 1:He is a greatness dude. Yeah, beautiful, you know, that're one of our favorites. That's a sponsor, you know. Do you know sharks are immune to every disease, including cancer. You think we could get their immune system and their DNA and switch it. Then you'd have.
Speaker 2:Sharknado. See, now we're going on a different road, because I guarantee you there's a cure for cancer.
Speaker 1:I think there's a cure for cancer. I think there's a cure, but financially that's not going to work?
Speaker 2:no, because not only that, but I think that's a way for the government to weed out you know the week. Well, that's the way our producer thinks that's.
Speaker 1:That was her theory about covid was wiping out all the the elderly and the well, that's how they get crack cocaine to the fucking projects is to to eliminate a lot of the. You know that of the blacks is what they said. That's what they say. You know the human brain has a memory capacity, not yours or mine, but has. The human brain has a capacity of 2.5 million petabytes, which is equivalent to 2,000, I'm sorry, 2,505,000 gigabytes. See, I couldn't even say the fucking word.
Speaker 2:So obviously not us and that's what our memory our brain has the memory cap shit.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's when you're younger.
Speaker 2:I can't remember what I did an hour ago it says knowledge is power.
Speaker 1:Alrighty, I got some words for you. You know the kids today. They got some stupid words. You want to do emails first.
Speaker 2:No, no, let's keep it in this. I'm enjoying this.
Speaker 1:So let's see how many of these you know. Okay, what does cap no cap mean?
Speaker 2:It means I'm for real.
Speaker 1:It means lying or not lying. Okay, let's see what about if you catch feels.
Speaker 2:That's give your butt hurt basically.
Speaker 1:No, you develop romantic feelings. Oh okay, Catch these hands.
Speaker 2:That means you're about to whoop your ass.
Speaker 1:What about CEO of?
Speaker 2:Huh.
Speaker 1:CEO of I don't know. It means being really talented at something. This is what the kids are saying.
Speaker 2:I thought they said goat.
Speaker 1:Choongi what yeah? Choongi Choongi, I don't know. It means cringy or awkward. It sounds like a racist term. How about clout?
Speaker 2:Clout means like you're doing it for clout, you're trying to be famous.
Speaker 1:Okay, you got that one. How You're?
Speaker 2:doing it for clout. You're trying to be famous. You got that one.
Speaker 1:How about cooked? That means you're done Someone's wore out.
Speaker 2:Or it means you're high. Crash out, that's old school people say I'm baked, I'm cooked. That means we high. What about crash out, crash out, hold on I really want to think about this one Because it's probably. It don't mean a wreck, I mean just like lost his mind or something.
Speaker 1:To do something dangerous or feeling emotionally stable? I don't know that was way off. What about Delulu?
Speaker 2:No clue.
Speaker 1:That's short after delusional.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Doing the most.
Speaker 2:That's extra being over the top.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's pretty good. How about Boy?
Speaker 2:Like B-O-I. I mean to me that's still Boy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's another way of spelling Boy, which I don't understand, which is stupid. What about bop?
Speaker 2:Bop's a whore.
Speaker 1:No, bop is pow. No, it's a really good song.
Speaker 2:Or more modern bebop. Okay, well, back in my days we called women bops, boppers. What about, abouta, abouta, mm-hmm, I'm abouta, abouta.
Speaker 1:I'm abouta.
Speaker 2:Abouta. Oh well, that's exactly what it sounds like. Yeah, abouta. As soon as you say it like that.
Speaker 1:How about bruh?
Speaker 2:Same thing. That's one of the most annoying terms for me nowadays is bro, say bro, bro, hey bro, especially when you talk to women.
Speaker 1:That way, it's like bitch, I slept with shit out of you. What about bussin'?
Speaker 2:Bussin', bussin' this shit good bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you got that one. What about eight? I'm gonna eight that.
Speaker 2:That means I'm basically like I'm gonna make it my bitch, or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go. Ora, Ora, ora, ora, era, era, era E-R-A. I don aura aura, aura aura like era, era, era, era. I don't know, it's a popularized by taylor swifties oh lord, it's a period in between songs someone's life. She had the arrows to her so yeah, yeah okay, um see, fam that's, family that's it finna, finna.
Speaker 2:My wife does that all the damn time I'm fit, I'm gonna go to the stove.
Speaker 1:What about fit? That motherfucker over there? Fit Means he's built.
Speaker 2:Good, yeah. Yeah, like me, bitch, don't laugh.
Speaker 1:What about FR FR?
Speaker 2:FR For real, for real, for real.
Speaker 1:Okay, what about glow up?
Speaker 2:Glow up. It means finna, get pretty.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, yep, beautified Ethan had such a glow up. Yeah, goat, greatest fall time, yeah.
Speaker 2:What about Gucci? That term gets thrown around. Gucci means good.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm High key.
Speaker 2:High key. You got Tudor Bird. You got high key. Got to the bird, you got high key, low key. Low key is like calm, high key is it was popping basically there you go, hoko, that's easy, it's homecoming is that? That's not what that means on that paper, though. Oh, it does thought there'd be some kind of weird igl igl I in the game of life.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, I don't know. Yeah, would've got that one. Keep it 100. Everybody knows what that is. Oh yeah, be true to yourself. Left on red.
Speaker 2:Left unread.
Speaker 1:It says left unread oh.
Speaker 2:They. That's a typo. It's supposed to be left unread.
Speaker 1:Okay, what about? That's why I have my, my shit turned off.
Speaker 2:Pogers. You can't tell if I read it or not. What Pogers? Poger? Same thing as a poser, maybe.
Speaker 1:An expression of excitement slain for certain emojis on Twitch. Oh, I'm not on Twitch Me either. Let's see, some of these are pretty much Luke. What's up? Luke? L-e-w-k. Luke, I don't know what that means. Another way of describing someone or something that adds character.
Speaker 2:Okay. Let them cook. Yeah, just let them work.
Speaker 1:Let them do them. Yeah yeah, let's see here, say less yeah.
Speaker 2:Basically. Don't worry about it, I got you.
Speaker 1:What about ship? I don't know? Short relationship, okay, shook, flustered To be completely surprised. Yeah, sigma.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:Sigma Sigma.
Speaker 2:Sigma dick.
Speaker 1:Somebody that's not alpha male.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Skibidi no no.
Speaker 2:Skibidi. Yeah, there you go. Skibidi, bop, bop.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Speaker 2:Skibidi. I've seen that on the TikTok. What does it mean?
Speaker 1:No nonsense word that can Make Used on YouTube series. Skibidi, toilet, skibidi.
Speaker 2:Slaps that shit's hard. That shit's hard. That's originated from the bay, though. On YouTube series Skibbity Toilet, skibbity Slaps that shit's hard. That shit's hard. That's originated from the Bay though. Woke, that's your favorite. Yeah, that's what I did earlier today. I woke up.
Speaker 1:What about bed rot?
Speaker 2:Bed rot, mm-hmm, that means, you got bad sex.
Speaker 1:No, it's active lying in bed for hours being lazy, being lazy. I was bed rot today.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:What about caught in 4K?
Speaker 2:You mean caught you on video.
Speaker 1:To catch someone with receipts. You know what receipts is Proof Finsta.
Speaker 2:Finsta Same thing as Finna.
Speaker 1:No, no, it's a fake Instagram. Oh, His son used to be more real, raw than what he should be. He's Finsta. I didn't know that one either Curved. I done curved on that bitch.
Speaker 2:Got a smoke on that corner, whoa.
Speaker 1:To reject someone romantically. What about clap back? Just talk a shit back to them Coming back with a good insult. Yeah, go off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, going off. I went off on that hoe. Yep, yep, she keep fucking with me Fruity, that would be a British cigarette.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:I remember that.
Speaker 1:Somebody in this game. I remember that All right. That's all we got Riz.
Speaker 2:Speaking of so. We had a conversation the other night. People might get offended about this, but they'll be all right. It's a legitimate question. If over there they call cigarettes fags, if you have a brand new pack of cigarettes, are you packing?
Speaker 1:fags. You're packing fags, I guess that's what I'm asking. So I think individually they're called fags. Maybe a pack is a pack of fags. I don't know. We should ask someone. Road trip, road trip. So let's get to our emails. All right, we got some emails, let's do this baby Shit shows 2025.
Speaker 2:Let's get to our emails. All right, we got some emails. Let's do this, baby shows 2025 go this is the coolest part of the show where we read your emails on the low, no, but the best part is hearing me flow, so let's get to this. You know they keep pressuring me to remix this. You should remix it. It's freaking good Like I don't want to mess it up. Dude, dude, I got broad singing that shit word for word.
Speaker 1:All you got to do is change 24 to 25.
Speaker 2:All of my balls. So, anyways, we got an email from Curdo. He wants to know who. Well, I guess this question is for you. He wants to know who your pretty date was for St Paddy's. Day, so we didn't go into depth because we knew this was the email. So Saturday we had a a big St Paddy's Day party and, like I said, we had rented out a clubhouse, had a DJ, all this dad, and about four hours before the party starts, craig shows up, says hey, man, found this shit. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 3:I thought you said you found it on clearance I little did.
Speaker 2:I know you had it up at your house, so he gives it to me. I pull it out and it looks like one of the beer garden outfits.
Speaker 3:The beer winch.
Speaker 2:So I'm like you know what I was in a good mood. Like fuck it, I'll do it. If it'll fit, I'll do it. That's the bottom line.
Speaker 3:I didn't know anything until I get to the party Bottom line, I didn't know anything until.
Speaker 2:I get to the party and I realized that I'm the beer wench to the biggest leprechaun in the fucking world, which would be Craig and Craig, continuously throughout the whole night. Number one I think he checked on me more than he checked on his actual wife, but he would come up and just hey, you need anything to drink, you need anything, you want something to eat, you want this At at one point. I'm just sitting there having a drink, I'm sitting in a chair, and walks up to me because I'm sitting like a man would sit and I'm wearing a dress that I have you have to check the picture out on the side but I'm wearing a beer wenches dress. I've got fake tits with, the nipples are always hard and I have shorts underneath. Walks up to me and shuts my legs and tell me that's not ladylike.
Speaker 1:It was hot, dude it was so hot.
Speaker 2:So then after that party we went to a bar after that and kind of wrapped the night up and that was where Stayed in costume. It stayed in costume and that was where we met people and, like I said, I had a lady who damn near molested me, I think. I'm pretty sure I could file charges against that lady.
Speaker 1:I think she was a whore, though. Did you see her at the counter?
Speaker 2:Yeah, at the bar she was with a guy, though With two guys. She was something else. I mean hell, she had me motorboater.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:She motorboated me and then it was like what do they call it swapping out? She motorboated me and then I motorboated her, motorboated, motorboated. I know that's the smartest person in the world. They said we have the brain functionality of 2.5 million gigabytes Shit, not this one.
Speaker 1:So yeah, was of my date. We called him Michelle that night, michelle O'Brien, you know, since it was like daddy's day.
Speaker 2:O'Brien. Okay, now I got a new damn name we had a great time so you can find those pictures on our web page or Instagram. Yes, you can, unfortunately you can. They are out there for the world to see, it's all out there. We also have another email. I guess this is the Craig email session, because Craig does these best Blue Hawaiian, I think it is wants to know if we could sing happy birthday to his son, trevor. He's turning 12 tomorrow and Friday, so, without further ado, are you ready, garcon?
Speaker 3:Happy birthday.
Speaker 1:Happy birthday to you, Trevor.
Speaker 3:Happy birthday to you.
Speaker 1:Trevor, happy birthday, big guy, and many more on Channel 4.
Speaker 2:So, for those that don't know, Craig sings happy Birthday to every one of us like that all the time. We could be in a restaurant, we could be out of town.
Speaker 3:We could be at church, we could be out of the country.
Speaker 2:We could be anywhere, everywhere, and that's how he sings it and I'll be honest with you, I think that was a little low-key compared to what he normally does. I love high-key, but whatever. But I think that was pretty good.
Speaker 3:Well, okay, okay, our producer had a question for us Testing.
Speaker 1:Testing. You hear me All right.
Speaker 3:Hello, this is Stephanie. So I saw something on oh testing there you go, okay. I saw something on oh testing, there you go, okay. I saw something on social media the other day and, um, a lady asked her male friend um, why do men avoid certain questions, circumstances like I don't know? They just avoid it. So, like, if I was to come to you and question why you did something or whatever, why is y'all's go-to thing to shut down, avoid, walk away or whatever? And I don't care who goes first, I just want to know, like like, what goes on in your mind. Is it because you're scared to lash out or how you're going to react, or is is it just you don't like being confronted?
Speaker 1:Here's the deal If men opened up to you women the way we want to, y'all would never be with us ever again. Yeah, men are fucking freaks. Men are weird to. That's why we have to check our own selves. Like you know, when you first start dating a chick and she's like so what are you into? Like oh, I'm like holding hands and no, I want to blow a butter in your butthole, you know, shit like that, that's wow. That's what I really want to say. So if you come to me with some like a sexual question, we got to check ourselves because we don't want to run y'all off, you know. You know, unless you get that freak that really, really wants, you know, butter blown in her butthole, but right, Mike.
Speaker 2:So this is the tale of two sons. Me personally. It's not that I would shut down. You get to a certain level of either an argument or a firm confrontation to where neither side is going to understand reason. Women are not going to accept it men are not going to accept it, especially when you're married and you've been together for so long.
Speaker 1:I took the sensual. Well, no, no, and that's that's fine, there's a.
Speaker 2:There's got to be two sides to everything there was a video I saw, but and I wish I could remember it word for word but most women, I believe, don't want to be with, like you said earlier, if we, if we went and cried to them and told them our problems and stuff like they don't want that they don't want that. They don't want a man to cry. They want to be the one to cry to the man and have the man hold him. But men hold so much more than women understand inside of them.
Speaker 2:When women think that we don't care, well, why aren't you doing this or why this, or why that them everything that we were thinking inside they. I think it would make them more, uh, emotional. Put more on their shoulders. Women, women most women, not all women and just like not all men, most women, they cave under pressure to a certain extent when it comes to stuff like that, uh, housework, oh, I've got to do housework, I've got this, I've got that, I got that.
Speaker 2:It weighs on their shoulders and they eventually break down. Men just say fuck it. Men just say fuck it, we'll get it done, it'll be okay stephanie got. There was a point in our relationship where I said that everything will be fine. You know she's breaking down like the whole world's gonna end. I'm like everything will be fine, don't worry about it. And there were times where she would be like you always say that and fucking blah, blah, blah, but it always ends up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it always ends up okay, so, uh, but like I said, as far as shutting down there, there's just, there's only so much, so much arguing you can do before it becomes irrelevant. And then it's even better when you're talking about one thing and then you start arguing about something completely different that we weren't talking about. That's when you have to end it, because now you're just veering off into the fucking left lane.
Speaker 2:Now you're just looking for shit, yeah yeah, now you're just unloading, and that's the worst thing to do is keep everything hidden and then wait until something sets you off and just hits you with you don't clean the house, you don't wash the dishes your dick hit you with.
Speaker 3:You don't clean the house, you don't wash the dishes. Your dick is small, you're fucking. Whoa. Wait, did I say that? Wow, you don't fix the holes in the wall you don't fix the holes in the wall jesus christ I want it from behind more I'm notorious about shutting down.
Speaker 1:My wife asked me all the time we'll get the conversation and I'm just like I don't talk about it.
Speaker 2:I'm done I'll talk all day long if it could be a civil conversation, but once the cuss words start, you start yelling.
Speaker 1:My wife is way fucking smarter than I am. So it's mine to have a fucking argument with her. It's unfair.
Speaker 2:First off the smartness. I would say the education level is irrelevant to a woman because they are born born with the knowledge to argue Born with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know it's unfair.
Speaker 2:They could have no education whatsoever and they could still out-argue you Throw education on top of it. What I'm saying is they're still smarter than us, even if they didn't have an education.
Speaker 1:Usually I'm wrong when we argue. I just sit there and take it. When she's mad about something I'm usually at fault, Hands down. Usually I just shut down or get naked. Or I get naked. That works a lot.
Speaker 2:For those newbies that's how Craig, when he argues with his wife, he gets to that point where he doesn't want to argue no more, he just strips down.
Speaker 1:Naked, yeah, naked. Hopefully we're not at a store.
Speaker 2:And his wife has sent me evidence of so.
Speaker 1:Well, it works.
Speaker 2:I guess it does. I just don't really care to try that. I'd rather just be like listen, I'm done with this conversation and then suffer the see you always just want to stop talking. Well, I do want to stop talking now. We can talk about it again later, when cooler heads prevail. Just get naked. It works. I'll try that next time.
Speaker 3:Okay, well, thank you for your honesty. I was just curious. I mean I would like to have a follow-up question, like what do y'all do when y'all are stressed to relieve that stress? I mean, I know, drink, have a good time, laugh it off, but doesn't it creep back up later, like just avoiding it doesn't fix it.
Speaker 1:We don't know, we don't avoid it, we just work it out in our own head. Yeah, okay, there's no avoiding it, we're working, we're trying to find every possible outcome in our head.
Speaker 2:It's, it's like a ruby's Cube in our head.
Speaker 1:Yes. Don't think we just shut down and we don't think about it. No, we're constantly thinking about it. We're stressed and we're freaked out. Usually, you will never see it. If you see it, pack your bags because we need to get the fuck out of Dodge. That's the honest God's answer.
Speaker 2:That's spot on, I agree's honest God's answer no, that's spot on, I agree.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you Okay. No worries, All right back to the show.
Speaker 2:Back to the show. Sorry, we were interrupted.
Speaker 1:No, no, we like it. We wanted her to chime in when she has comments and suggestions.
Speaker 2:So that's our producer.
Speaker 1:Producer Stephanie.
Speaker 2:You know, that's how we moved up.
Speaker 1:We've got to come producer Stephanie. You know that's how we moved up. We gotta come up with a name for her. We could call her, I don't know, we'll figure it out sassy ass. I tell you what if you got a name that you want for Stephanie.
Speaker 2:Leave it in the comments section.
Speaker 1:We need a producer name and we'll definitely come up with something gotta be something creative and something that would embarrass her and not freak yeah, that's well, that's just your regular nickname. Yeah, that's just normal that's what selena calls me, that's fine that's what most people call you, but so, uh, what else we got, man?
Speaker 2:so, uh, our, our, uh, since she's already on the mic, this was something that she wanted to talk about, or she brought up in in meeting, and, uh, she wanted to talk about the, the rfk. Oh, that's right, they're making so so so our producer is, uh, since nick is gone, uh, she's kind of filling nick's void for the whole conspiracy there her and nick can sit there.
Speaker 2:They can sit in the garage all day long and talk about conspiracy theories and all that stuff, but she has those that don't know. My wife is. She's not one of those crazy liberals, but she's a liberal and she has actually come around to this administration.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:I love it To our president.
Speaker 2:And here's the thing. It's not like I haven't come around or come around, I just call a spade a spade. So if he does something stupid, I'm gonna call it out. If he does something good, I'll call it out. Yeah, um, and that's the only difference. But anyways, back to that is, uh, the rfk. So what? What was it about rfk that that you were wanting to talk about there?
Speaker 3:yeah. So I mean, you know, I'm getting up there in age and I keep coming to you. You know eating healthier or just better options, right? So I saw that he had something called Make America Healthy Again, and one of the things that I saw was that some of our food is labeled as grass G-R-A-S Only one S, not two. Any idea what that stands for?
Speaker 2:Not a clue.
Speaker 3:Generally recognized as safe. Wow, generally.
Speaker 1:That's what we're eating.
Speaker 2:You're eating, we have the weakest standards for food. You only have to meet certain standards and then you can just throw whatever the fuck you want into the food after that.
Speaker 3:So in addition, here in America we have and don't get me wrong, I didn't look into what exactly they are calling ingredients but we have 10,000 ingredients in our foods. Other countries only have 400, 400 things that are in their everyday food. We allow generally safe bullshit 10 000 ingredients. Yeah, um, another thing I'm very proud of him, although I think he needs a spokesperson.
Speaker 2:He's really hard. If not a spokesperson, it definitely subtitles yes definitely.
Speaker 3:I mean, he's kind of hard to watch. But um, you know you called me a liberal earlier. I'll be honest, I don't even know what that means. I don't want to put a label on it. If you're doing a good job, I'll like it I shouldn't say liberal, because liberal they always connect with crazy people, you're, you're, you're a democrat I say I'm a realist, so regardless, and that's what I- am.
Speaker 2:No, I can call. I'm not a registered Democrat or Republican. First off, everybody knows I can't stand fucking politicians, but once again I can call a spade a spade. I can say good things about the guy about our president and I can say bad things about our guy Like. For one thing I can say I don't like how everybody has to speak like him. Now you got all his cabinet members.
Speaker 3:They talk like him do they move their hands back and forth like they're playing the?
Speaker 2:press secretary talks like him, pam bondy talks like him, the, the, the secretary, the defense girl or whatever. What is she? The, the one with the pretty one?
Speaker 3:she has that white streak totally totally, she talks like him, they all talk like him it's like, bro, be your own, be your own person, yeah you don't have to be all in everybody's face, just talk like a normal person, but regardless well, and just one more thing before y'all cut my mic off um, one of the most important things to all of us normally are our kids, and um something I saw today uh, he did an interview on on tv or whatever um, but heavy metals in our baby formula, yeah. So I've seen a lot of these videos where somebody will get some, put it in a plastic bag, get a magnet and kind of run it across and then it gathers in the corner. There's like I don't know, 10 shards of something, right, that is attracted to a metallic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyways, I guess and he said, one of the problems is the lack of um competition or competitors.
Speaker 1:There's only like three people that produce baby formula. Baby formula.
Speaker 3:And that is so crazy to me.
Speaker 1:I know a couple of years ago, maybe it was during COVID, but when you couldn't find it, when you couldn't get it here, some people were going to shut down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they were going to like Canada or ordering it online, but you would think that that is something we would never run out of or never have to worry about. You would think that whoever is making it I know infamil was one um brand that I gave my kids. I have no idea if that's one of the ones, but to me that is just crazy that we don't test it yeah it's super crazy.
Speaker 2:There's enough turnaround on babies day where you can produce it for a year in advance. I don't know what the date is on it. I don't know either.
Speaker 3:Well, normally it's powder, so it doesn't expire for years. You know about the Girl Scout cookies, right?
Speaker 1:Yes, I've been hearing that too. The Girl Scout cookies have more iron and more aluminum concentrate. They're the worst things for you. The Thin Mints, above all of them, is the worst cookie, wow.
Speaker 2:Doesn't surprise me, because it's the best one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they said 100% of the cookies that they tested had heavy metals. Yes, and stuff in them. Yeah, that's crazy to me.
Speaker 1:I will never eat another Thin Mint.
Speaker 2:I'll never eat another Girl Scout cookie and like so. Nowadays, with the you know talking about the making america healthy, nowadays it's, it's, it's, it's almost hard to eat healthy people say because of the cost because of the cost, but at the same time, that's just an excuse.
Speaker 2:They're just lazy, they don't want to cook because, I'll be honest with you, you can't go to mcdonald's and get a meal for third. I mean, I'm in catering. I have people call me all the time. I I got, I want to feed 150 and you can't go to McDonald's and get a meal for 30. I'm in catering. I have people call me all the time.
Speaker 2:I want to feed 150 people for $2,000. I'm thinking that's $13 a person I can give you sandwiches cold cuts. Maybe that's about it. Waterburger, you go to Waterburger, I'm a number two guy, water-sized. And if you get apple pie for one person, it's like $17. Yeah, you can get four to five pounds of meat for that for $17.
Speaker 2:It's just because you're lazy, yeah yeah, and another thing is is and this is not a race thing, because personally I know more people on it than white than I do any other race but our welfare system it doesn't. It does nothing to help these people. I understand people need help. I know a lot of people are against it. I'm fine with that. Whatever I know people need help, but we need to make it to where they can't get little debbies and shit oh, yeah, you know, because it's not helping them.
Speaker 2:It's not helping, and I know what the first response is. Well, you can't tell me what to do with my money. Well, first off, it's not your fucking money.
Speaker 1:Second off, you shouldn't be able to go to Sam's and spend $300 on fucking little debbies and fudge rounds and just bullshit.
Speaker 2:You should be able to buy iced tea, sugar, kool-aid packs. You can buy frozen chicken nuggets or something like that, and stuff.
Speaker 1:But all these snacks.
Speaker 2:It's not for me. Like old boy said, I don't want to pay for your fudge rounds.
Speaker 1:And I shouldn't Anthony Oliver or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I don't want to pay for that. Like I'm all fine for helping people out. I help people out all the fucking time and I don't I don't need credit for it. I don't ask for credit, but I don't want people just doing it.
Speaker 1:It's not good for them, and I know you shouldn't be able to use your ebd card at a gas that quick trip, that's.
Speaker 2:That's one, one hundo. You know. There's nothing in quick trip that I need to pay for, nothing in quick trip, right?
Speaker 3:so I agree.
Speaker 2:But but I do, I, I do, I do agree, we, we have. I Obviously. Look at all of us. We're fat, I would say we're miserable, I'm not miserable. I love my life, but we could all lose some weight.
Speaker 1:I hope he comes in and shakes things up. He already kind of is.
Speaker 3:Just shout out to RFK. I appreciate what he's doing.
Speaker 2:I've been talking about it for a couple of years.
Speaker 3:Thank you very much. Y'all are a mess. Okay, carry on. I think.
Speaker 2:I think that was good, but you know we got to to end the show with a pretty lady voice. I'm wondering to see how the people like the the little peanut gallery over here yeah, yeah, she's coming in, she sounds sweet sounds she, she's coming in, she sounds sweet.
Speaker 1:Sounds. She's definitely not a shit show.
Speaker 2:She sounds sweet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she's really not, she's not she could be mean.
Speaker 3:Hush All right, thank you so much Thanks for tuning in, guys.
Speaker 2:I hope you all enjoy. You all have a great week. Peace Out. I am Batman.
