When Dad Is There But Not Present | The Hidden Impact Fathers Have on Daughters w/ Dr. Susan Schwartz

In this episode of The Daughtered Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Susan Schwartz, a Jungian analyst, clinical psychologist, and author of The Absent Father Effect on Daughters. With decades of experience working with women across all stages of life, Dr. Schwartz has seen firsthand how a father’s emotional presence — or absence — can shape a daughter’s identity, confidence, and relationships for years to come.

In this conversation we explore:

• Why daughters feel emotional absence so deeply
• The difference between being home and being truly present
• How fathers influence their daughters’ self-worth and development
• Why many fathers were never taught emotional connection themselves
• The powerful role awareness plays in breaking generational patterns

One of the most powerful ideas discussed is that fathers influence their daughters far more than they realize — even through subtle emotional signals and unspoken expectations.

This conversation isn’t about guilt... It’s about awareness.

Because when fathers become more intentional with their presence, they have the power to change not only their daughters’ lives — but the generations that follow.

Dr. Schwartz's Work

Susan's Instagram 

00:00 Father Absence Crisis

01:26 Podcast Welcome

02:23 Why Fathers Matter

03:29 Guest Background

05:47 Daughter Impact

09:13 Nature Versus Nurture

11:02 Pregnancy Influence

14:00 Single Mother Context

15:50 Filling The Void

18:36 Emotional Absence

19:18 Host Personal Reflection

20:46 Emotional Honesty as Dads

21:32 Fear of Messing Up

23:31 Raising Girls vs Boys

25:21 Beyond Parenting Recipes

26:49 Fathers Thoughts Shape Daughters

29:01 Know Your Daughter Deeply

31:25 Dialogue Builds Connection

34:04 How to Be Present

36:47 Books Resources and Farewell

Guest Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed on this podcast are solely those of the guests. They do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the host, any organizations, companies, or institutions mentioned, or corporate entities represented by the host.

Our aim is to provide a platform for diverse perspectives and open dialogue. While we strive for accuracy and balance, it's important to recognize that opinions may vary. We encourage critical thinking and further exploration of the topics discussed.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

They feel a tremendous lack and hole in the center for generations, most the 20th century for sure, and the 21st as well. It is not regular as as an average that fathers are participatory in the family. They pretty much classically in a very old-fashioned way pay attention to providing or guiding or disciplining. They never learned and they don't pass on how to emotionally connect. That doesn't mean they don't want to, they just never learned it. And the culture does not promote it as much as it could. If a father, the father figure, is very emotional, very affectionate, very loving, that isn't the norm in the United States. Culturally, it still is not. I think it is changing. You can see by yourself and others that you know that it's changing and it needs to change. The beginnings of analysis, psychology, etc., were loaded with mothers being the primary caretakers.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Welcome to the Daughter Podcast, where fathers become everyday heroes in their daughters' lives. Grow, evolve, and lead with love. Here's your host, Oscar Pinna.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Daughter Podcast. Oscar here, your local growing girl dad. Today with a special guest, Suzanne Schwartz, Dr. Suzanne Schwartz, is going to join us and give us a completely different view that I couldn't imagine bringing to you guys. She has an immense experience in Jungian psychology, psychotherapy, and she's going to bring those experiences to us. And she has just real life stories of patients that she has had that can give us just a lot of insight into how us as fathers have a huge impact on our daughters. Susan, thank you so much for being here with us. I'm really excited to get into this conversation. How are you today?

SPEAKER_01 2:21

I'm doing good. Thank you very much. You know, I just wanted to add to something that you just said, which is that I have had so many women say thank you so much, because I could identify with the people in the book, and it helped me know that I wasn't the only one. So I say that in relationship to the importance of fathers. Right? Because what it implies is all of those people wanted a father to relate to. So the desire was for the father, the loss was that he wasn't there. And once they find out that there are other people like them, they go, Wow, I'm not alone. But then they also help their children have a more present father as well. So generationally, it has a huge effect.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

When that is that is our intent, is to move that forward.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

Absolutely. Well, Suzanne, before we get started, I always like to give my guests the opportunity to kind of introduce themselves, give us the information that they want to give us, and just let us know a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Okay. Um, well, I'm a Jungian analyst, and I've been one for many years. And what I found over time, as I said, was so many women, when I asked them, well, I asked this of men as well, but the same answer comes actually. And that is, you know, what's your relationship to your father? And usually it's one sentence. So because I'm always questioning everything, I say, but you only gave me one sentence. What happened? That's all there was. He was either introverted, alcoholic, drugs, divorced, never saw him, found him 20 years later. So the daughter searched for the father, he didn't search for her. Um, and I information, information, information happened. And as I said, colleagues also experiencing very similar. And then I was thinking, well, is that is that really current still? But I see people of all ages. So I have had people, uh, women, 60s and 70-year-olds and older, and I remember one specifically, and she had taken my book out of the library, and the librarian said, Really? Why are you exploring your father at this point in your life? Oh, wow. Can you imagine? Yeah, it's awful. And the woman certainly had the presence to say, because I need to figure it out, so you can see how hidden the father has been in the family. If you've got to wait all those years to find out really what happened, and to face the absolute absence, that is the other thing, because it gets translated as rejection of body and psyche both.

SPEAKER_02 5:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

As I was listening to your book, you mentioned the um almost in and I'm paraphrasing obviously, uh, almost the the the creation of the person that a father can do to their daughter, in the sense of what what dreams I have for my daughter, or I don't, right? Um what I portray to my daughter, or I don't, right, and then how how much of that impacts our daughters and then takes them forward into adulthood.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm gonna mention several things in relation to what you just said. One is that we would hope that the father would accentuate the interests of the daughter, no matter what the interests are. If they don't get accentuated, she then feels eh, why try? So there's that low self-esteem, why try? Also, body image. So if you grow up and you you see you'll know this. I don't know how old your daughters are, but so she starts to develop and become older. Some fathers have incredibly uh derogatory terms for their daughters, and they have no problem putting them out, or they look at them in the wrong way, and it becomes very detrimental because the daughter might go into drugs, she might find bad relationships, she might not be able to focus or direct her energy, and she neglects her body severely. Yeah, and it in just many, many ways. So it affects her mind because is she going to develop her mind and her intellect? Also, is she going to go beyond her father? Because in there, there's also the envy of the father for the daughter because she is younger, she has more years ahead of her, she could do what he could not, and if he's not aware of his own feelings, he'll undermine her.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

That's an interesting concept because I've heard of that done from mother to daughter, right? Right, like I it's it's kind of uh a more of a common thing to talk about where the mother has an envy of the the possibilities that the daughter has that she never had, but I've never heard it said from the daughter's or excuse me from the father's side.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Yeah, but you know it's there, and why it hasn't been said is it hasn't been explored because again, the fathers have not been focused on as much as they really deserve, not only in a negative way, but but because they're important. You know, if you have if you have a good father, you're going to feel good about yourself, you'll take care of your body, you'll like yourself, you won't be undermining yourself, and you won't be tearing away at your own personality. So you got a better chance in the world.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

But if you don't let me pull out that thread real quick. So there's this this, and I say theory because I have not done the research. Um there's this theory of you know, you've obviously heard of nature versus nurture. Yes. Um but there's this theory that that uh grandma had my daughter, and it's for instance, so I have a 13, a nine, and a five-year-old. Um, but the theory that I've heard is that that the egg that my daughter came from was in grandma as well. So uh you think the theory is that uh all of the um the the eggs that that uh a woman's gonna have are already there from you know inception or something, and I can't remember the exact thing, but ultimately what that what that uh conversation looked like was that there's this nature piece that comes along with that, right? So like yes, you know, certain attributes of grandma are there because of these things, right? So if I pull on that, how much nurture does the dad have when maybe there's a lot of negative nature involved with with that?

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Uh-huh. Well, he has the possibility to counteract the negative nature. So if we would say from the generations on the mother's side, okay, but what about the generations on the father's side? So I think they get equal credit.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

You think so?

SPEAKER_01 10:55

I do, I do. Because if you think about it, in utero, the the influence of the father, so the father is around, you know, they made a bunch of studies, and the the the fetus is affected by the climate that it is around, not just by the climate in the womb of the mother, but what the mother is carrying psychologically of the father, and how the father is interacting with the mother and with the fetus.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Really?

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Yeah, it's amazing. That's what I'm saying. Fathers have so much effect, their emotional, their relatedness, their consciousness, their desire, all of it's going to come through.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

Now that's that's another interesting concept because uh for a lot of us, at least I can speak for myself, I didn't fully feel like a dad until my daughter got here. Where mom you know feels all that nine months of creating this human and and you know, for for good or bad, I maybe separate myself from that and just start working on okay, I know this is coming. I'm gonna go focus on you know providing and ensuring everything's ready to go. But but what you're saying is that in you know, I I I think my wife could attest to this. I was um I've always been working to be good to my wife. That's not that's not an issue, but I don't think I was intentional to be like, oh, we're pregnant, I'm a father now, let me start to you know participate in that.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Yeah, because culturally it's not really emphasized. And and many people feel exactly like you were feeling, but I would bet if you look back on it, because you seem to be quite emotionally connected, you were probably very aware of what was going on, and the input of your personality and yourself came through to your daughters. I would bet. Maybe you weren't conscious of it, but this is part of where I work as well. Unconsciously, it was coming across, and so you could say, like all fathers can, how do they dream of their daughters? Real dreams, like how did they dream of them? Or their their own dreams, their dreams about their daughters, you know, what do they want for them? But what is how do they dream them in their dreams? So, and how do the daughters dream about their fathers? You know, some people don't they don't have such great father dreams, yeah, yeah. Like awful.

SPEAKER_02 13:53

So you're seeing that really absence can start from the very beginning. So a a a truly single mother without that presence of the father is going to affect yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Well, yeah, there's I mean, we're always affected by everything, but I want don't want to say that the single moms are at a detriment to their children because it depends on how that mother uh views uh the the male energy, you could say, and how she viewed how she was treated by her own father, how her mother viewed the father. So you can go again back generations. So even though the father might be absent for the single mothers, I don't want to say that it's necessarily always a loss, it's just different, and it depends on how the mother manages it. If she feels angry, upset, um uh what happens when fathers die, like in war. Right, you know, I mean these are things it's how also it's dealt with the child, honestly, emotionally. So his absence can be dealt with, but the point is deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Right. It sounds like if you don't, then that adult child will have to deal with that.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

Um, the adult child will have to deal with the absence anyway, yes. So will the teenage one, and so will the latency age one throughout life. You got to deal. And if you ignore it, well, it's gonna come back later.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Yeah, you get to deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Now, in your practice, you are with women from all stages of life, I assume. Yes, yes, and from talking to you before we had a conversation before we got onto the the the show uh and our pre-interview call, and you had mentioned how impactful even to the later stages of life. I mean, you just shared a story about a lady trying to find you know something about her father late in life. Um it almost feels like, as you mentioned, when it's not fixed, it's it's it's just a it's creates a void, or it can't create a void there that is not filled. How do you in your in your experience are seeing those voids being filled?

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Uh that's the point of the void. And the point of the absence is how are you going to fill it? Ideally, you fill it with your advancement, achievement, but I don't mean that in kind of you know, middle kind of way, you know, like I have to do this, but much more uh develop oneself. So wherever you find meaning. So the emptiness or the absence is there so it can be filled. So it's like if you have a coffee cup and the cup is empty, how are you gonna fill it? How are you gonna fill it? It gives a challenge, it says, how will you create your life? It doesn't say stay stay depressed or stay lacking. It gives the question and the urgency, even, to fill it. Yeah, that's that's the point of the whole thing is fill the desire, fill the wounds as much as you can, and realize you don't you don't fill at all, but you do a pretty good job.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

And you're speaking of feeling it um with growth, right? As opposed to the negative factors that come along with that.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Yes. However, a lot of people start from the negative, they're not feeling well, they're depressed, they can't sleep, their diets are poor, they hate themselves, all kinds of things. They're operating below their uh qualities, or they're in they're incredibly high achievers. Uh-huh. And they're unhappy inside. So it's wherever there's unrest, it's the unrest says fill it, be creative, find yourself. It's like find meaning in your life.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Yeah. What about physically present, emotionally not present?

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's absence as well. Yeah, because this is what a lot of women have described. Yeah, he was there.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Okay, this is how he was there. Well, he'd come home from work, uh, and he would read, he'd watch television, or he'd drink, or didn't say anything, or nobody could talk at the table, or or so he's there in his body, yeah, but but the daughter knows he's preoccupied, yeah. Not there, not there.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

It's it's an easy thing to do. I can tell you from my experience, I think, you know, talking, you know, having the privilege of of being on on the show and having fathers talk through their perspectives and experiences. I came to realize that I didn't really internalize like preparing to have a child, period. Right? It was kind of one of those things my wife and I were um just us two for eight and a half years before we had our first kid. And it was just kind of like, well, okay, well, it's kind of time. Like this is, you know, we did want to have kids, but we never really or I never really internalized like, all right, what does it actually look like going forward? So, you know, I was in in in military training while my wife was pregnant the first time, and it was, you know, definitely my brain was captivated by that, uh, by by just my job. Um, and then once my my daughter was here, it was just sheer fear, if I if I could say that.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

And I would find myself, and my job also took me physically away a lot, but then I would find myself home and not being able to like figure this whole equation out, and so then I would then feel not present, even though my feet were in front of my kids. Right, right, and it was almost like I kind of related to what you were talking about, the the imposter syndrome or of some sort, because it felt like, well, I'm supposed to be here, I'm supposed to be your dad, I'm supposed to do these things, and so I would do them, but I felt like I wasn't like there, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying, and I think that that's what a child does pick up. Child picks it up, and so uh with your children, you can talk to them about that, just what you said, and they'll get it, they'll totally get it, and appreciate that you have shared with them that you were uh afraid. I mean, having a child, who teaches you not to be afraid? Right, and no, and very few men talk about their emotional experiences or especially fear, right? But but who teaches you how to do it? You have to say, I need help, and most again, it's cultural, yeah. But most men don't know that it's okay to say, I don't know what to do, and I'm scared, and I'm scared. Maybe I'll mess up my child, I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But you describe that absence while being present. Very well.

SPEAKER_03 22:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

It's like your feet are there. You're someplace else in your mind.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Yeah, absolutely. And it's uh it's interesting you uh you mentioned that I had a comment on like YouTube or something, as as I'm sure you you see all the time. But uh I had a a guest and I were talking about kind of being afraid of having girls. I I I never thought I would have girls just because I was raised with boys, and so it just my brain made sense that I was gonna maybe have a son someday. And and so we said that on on the show. We said, Yeah, I mean, terrified of having daughters. And there was several comments, but one of them was like, Why would you be afraid? And and it took me a while to respond, but I'm like, I'm afraid of messing this up. Like it's so it's such a precious gift that I don't fully understand. And how do I how how do I become a good steward of this gift now and give them the best opportunity forward, knowing two very clear things? One, I'm not a girl, so I've got no clue how to do that. And two, I've never been taught really how to be a parent other than the playbook that I've seen, right? Like, and and we all have that. Um, and and so that's really the answer that I concluded was I'm I'm afraid of taking away their possibilities via my mistakes as a father.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

However, the the little girl and the little boy, how different are they?

SPEAKER_02 23:39

Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

So so their bodies are different, but essentially their inner selves are inner selves and they're beings, and they just want the attention, the love, the kindness, the care, the concern. That's all they want. They're really not different, and actually, more and more in our world, why should we raise them differently? You know, because you know, if she wants to be a a well, she can be a star runner, right? Just like he can. Unfortunately, I don't know. I guess she can play football, but uh maybe not. Uh do you see there's still these kinds of they're different, but they shouldn't be, because they both need the same amount of support and love, basically.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Right.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

And you obviously got over it.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

Well, uh, I I'm a soaker for uh for figuring it out as I go, right? And so that's that's what we do.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Yeah, no, I I think the fear is not so much it. I I think the at least for me, the fear is I'm I don't know what I'm doing going forward. I didn't think this through, for lack of better terms, in in the sense of like, I don't how would I raise a girl? I never sat and thought, how would I raise a girl as opposed to a boy? But I could tell you that in my mind's eye, I thought, well, if I have a boy, I'll just I'm a boy, like I I kind of know how to do boy things, like that's how I'll raise them. And so the thought of a girl is like, well, I don't that that one I don't know, right? And in in you know, all the books and the podcasts and everything that I listen to, although very helpful to kind of prep the mind, um is for lack of better term, is just academia, right? It's just like kind of something reading, but not not something in application.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Yeah, but you know, that's what the daughters and the children want is the spontaneity of the father. They they don't want an they don't want to, you know, wrote dot dot dot father. They want one who is spontaneous and who will give them the opportunities that they want, no matter what they want. Right, you know, even if it is something that the father figures, no, that can't no, you have to put it aside and you open yourself to what's unknown. And that is actually one of the differences of Jungian psychology from others. It really is a focus on what is unconscious and what has been unknown, and being able to face both of those is far more interesting than following a recipe for how to be a father.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Yeah, so it can be beautifully challenging.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

Yeah. It uh reminded me of this conversation started to take me my my brain into a direction. I start to think more and more about the image that we have of our daughters. Uh, I believe in the beginning of your book you mentioned something. I think it was a story, an Exodus, when um the uh the dad, a father, um essentially said or thought that his daughter was a prostitute, therefore she became a prostitute. And and it got me thinking, um, how much of those thoughts, I mean, you mentioned it earlier where sometimes fathers will be kind of harsh and have really no issue with it with words, but also thought. So, how much are our thoughts, potentially even our fears, uh putting our daughters into a certain path?

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Yeah, they get transposed, the daughters feel them. You know, uh so many women that I've dealt with, they would go, I just know what he was feeling. I know I could tell by his look at me, sometimes it was awful. And the other look is one of denigration and limitation and putting a daughter down. Now I'm a little on the negative side, but you know, you learn from an extreme of what you don't want, of what you don't want to have. So you're right, the thoughts are valuable as well as what's expressed verbally. Yes, yeah, it but actually in that what you're quoting, it was a story. I I think you're right, I think it was from the old testament, but it was that the father did not recognize who the daughter was, and he was going to hire her to be with him. It's even worse.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

And so the issue in the story is he did not know who she was. Yeah. Yeah. So that point of how do you know who your daughter is by how she looks, by how she acts, by the essence of her. How many fathers know that?

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

Some don't.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

I think it would, I mean, it takes a lot of intentionality.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

You bet, but intentionality takes time. Time takes being aware and respect for oneself, and the the ability to say kind of what you were saying, I'm afraid, and how am I gonna deal with it?

SPEAKER_03 29:40

Right.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

How am I gonna deal with it is the question. Not push it away and not deny, but bring it into awareness, you know. Talk with your daughters about it. What do you want is the question. What do you want? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

So you you think it's possible that we're we're missing really learning who our daughters are.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

I think if you follow a recipe, you don't learn who somebody is.

SPEAKER_03 30:10

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

I think if you're open and you create dialogue, you know who your daughter is.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

So now I'll give an example. I saw something on you might have seen this also. It it was from some uh social media thing, and they were showing a little girl, probably the age of your oldest, who was standing in front of the mirror crying, and part of the tears was because she had been put down on social media.

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Okay, so how does the father know that his daughter feels badly or she's depressed because she's gonna hide it? Right, you know, and so how is he gonna find out if he doesn't check with her, if he doesn't say how do you feel, if he doesn't look at her grades in school, her friends, her sports, her abilities, he won't know, and she'll be crying in front of that mirror. I don't know for how long. Right. So his intercession and knowing what's going on in a deep way is very important.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Yeah. Yeah, the the that's a shift I've had to take on because I'm uh I'm pretty to the point, right? I just want to kind of get from point A to point B and be done. But now one thing I've learned, especially with my daughters, is is they they tend to think out loud. And so listening to that, one, gives me a lot of information that I wouldn't have had, and two, allows them to ultimately come to a bunch of conclusions that they probably wouldn't have had had they not thought it out loud. And it's it's much different than I do. I think quietly, uh normally in solitude, so that I can come up with solutions and then I go and do them, which is much more, you know, uh it's much different than the way I would handle things.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

However, the dialogue is what we're talking about, is what really helps. And so interesting, yeah, because one of the things that I've learned is how many therapists do not ask about fathers. Interesting. So so the dialogue, where's the dialogue going? So I've given lots of these, and so many therapists have said, you know, I forgot to ask about the father.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Because cult again, culturally and and you know, psychology, uh, counseling analysis is cultural. So people it so you ask someone about your father, and they say one line, and then you don't pursue it.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

What you're saying is creating the dialogue brings out the interaction, and that makes connection, and both people grow. And that really is what helps. It's a growth of both.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

And the uh the thought of for me, one of one of the reasons the show is is here, one of the reasons I I started the show is essentially a fear of not being present. One thing I've been able to do is for me again is a blessing because I can when we turn this off today, I can go and put things into practice right away, right? Whereas if I'm in the car listening to a podcast or whatever, I I'm I'm still away and and and I'm not able to just put it into practice right away. And talking to you and and really looking at the absence of a father and how that looks, I'm here, but I want to be where my feet are, is is what we say, right? Um what would you recommend, especially with your experience, to fathers to help them be present?

SPEAKER_01 34:13

Well, I'm gonna use your words because I agree with what you're saying, which is that ask and listen and regard, no matter what your daughter is saying, have a discussion about it. Don't be challenged that in fact, oh, or or like oh, you can't do that, or fall into an easy disciplinarian role and be the authoritarian father. No, uh-uh. No matter how old she is, you've got a little one, five. Yeah, she can talk, she can talk, she has opinions, she has ideas, and too often kids people remember when they were five. So and so yeah, my dad didn't listen, or I had to go in my bedroom, or I had to get away from them, or whatever. So if you bring people out, that makes for presence. The reason I wrote about this is for people to become present. That's what absence does. It says be present, don't be absent. It's not fun, really.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

And to your point, we just had a conversation at breakfast this morning. My daughter, my oldest daughter was like, Oh, yeah, you were gone for my second birthday, you were gone for my fifth birthday, you know, because of my job.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

But those things that maybe don't trigger anything in me, she's she you know, she's keeping a track, she's keeping track, and the fact that she told you that says she wants you there on her birthday, right? Yeah, absolutely, and yeah, and what else does she want? So you you've got a perfect opportunity to continue the dialogue. Oh my gosh, you could say, you know, I mentioned this on the podcast. I heard you this morning. And so what do you need? Yeah, and and is there a way to make it up to you? Yeah, whatever, she will know that you heard her. Right. Oh, it's what's so important is to be heard. It's if you think about it, when you're not heard, it's part of what makes people restless, unhappy, anxious, depressed, worried, can't focus. So if you're heard, what a what a gift.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

Yeah. Well, uh Susan, I could sit here and and ask you all these questions. I know we're coming up on time. For all you guys listening out there, the book that I was referring to many times is the absent father effect on daughters. But she's got a bunch of other books that I'm sure are tremendous. Um, and I'd like to just give you a chance to tell us about those and obviously tell us where we can find you and we can find your work.

SPEAKER_01 37:12

So I can list off the books. One is called the imposter syndrome. You mentioned that imposter and the as-if personality. Another is called an exploration of the Puella archetype, which girl unfolding. So it means Puella means girl, so it means a development of the girl and the feminine in all of us. So it's not just for females. And I just have a new book that's coming out in May of next year, and that's on fathers and sons. Okay, and another one that came out this year called Love and Narcissism, um, Tragedy of Intimacy and Isolation. So they can all be found on any of the book websites, Amazon, you name it. The publisher is Rootledge. You can get a discount from them. And my website is www.susanschwartzph.com. And I have on there some podcasts and also some articles and sample chapters of the books.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Uh, we will have uh Suzanne's links on the bottom in the show notes for everybody to get to those. We'll have the link to the website, which I'm sure will have the new book for the May time frame. Um of course. And Suzanne, thank you so much again for just spending some time with us, giving us just invaluable information as fathers and how we can really impact positively, but also negatively if we're not around. Thank you for being with us. And I look forward to the upcoming book and also to finishing my my book that uh that I got uh from you.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

Thank you, Oscar. It's been my delight.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Thank you so much. All right, guys. Hopefully, you took a lot of notes because this is a good one. If not, go back to the beginning of the episode, listen in again, and get yourself right to be the best you can be for your daughters. Until next time, we'll see you all later. Hey, if you enjoy the Daughter Podcast, you'll love what we've got waiting for you at daughterpodcast.com. As soon as you visit, you'll be prompted to join our new email newsletter. A resource packed with valuable insights, practical tips, powerful perspectives straight from our podcast episodes, and incredible gifts. Don't miss out on the chance to join this community to strengthen your journey as a public. Visit daughterpodcast.com today and subscribe. Because great dads never stop growing.