Excuses Are Clues

📍 Episode Description:
In this episode of The Talking Rehab Podcast, Dr. Fred Bagares invites you to stop dismissing your excuses—and start listening to them. Drawing from the story of a patient named Sarah, he unpacks how our most convincing reasons for inaction often hide something deeper: fear, identity wounds, and unconscious memories. This isn’t about guilt-tripping. It’s about reclaiming ownership of your body and recovery.

You’ll hear why people avoid doing the very things that would help them heal, and how to shift from self-protection to progress. With real-life examples, a powerful mental reframe, and a practical 3-step system for taking back control, this episode challenges the way we think about pain, progress, and personal agency.

If you’ve ever said “I don’t have time,” “It still hurts,” or “I’m just not ready”—this one’s for you.

🕰️ Key Timestamps + Themes:

[00:00] The Silence After the Excuse
A pivotal patient moment where excuses stop—and the real fear surfaces.

[01:00] Why Excuses Aren’t Lies
How logistics mask deeper emotional truths—and what to do with them.

[02:00] Sarah’s Story: Shoulder Pain & Childhood Memories
A case study of avoidance rooted in a 12-year-old’s trauma.

[03:00] Golf, Renovations, and Priorities
Reframing contradiction as insight into what we truly value.

[04:00] Who’s in Charge of Your Recovery?
The power of asking: is your fear, past, or circumstance in the driver’s seat?

[05:00] The 3-Step Ownership Shift
Step 1: Accept the discomfort.
Step 2: Reclaim your authority.
Step 3: Let everything else be consultants—not decision-makers.

[06:00] What Changes When You’re Back in Charge
Fear shifts tone, excuses shift form, your body starts to trust again.

[07:00] Marcus: The Construction Worker’s Breakthrough
A second case study that proves discomfort doesn’t have to mean defeat.

[08:00] The New Relationship with Pain and Fear
When you listen—but don’t obey—your excuses, everything transforms.

[09:00] The Reframe: Excuses as Feedback, Not Failures
Instead of asking how to eliminate them, ask what they’re really saying.

[10:00] Final Message
“Your excuses are the weather. You are still the one who chooses to step outside.”

Transcript

0:01

Rehab is definitely a journey. There's this moment in rehab when someone, a patient stops. They're telling me why they can't do their exercises, why the rehab isn't working, and then suddenly there's silence like they just heard themselves for the first time. That's what happened with Sarah. I had been working with her for several months, eight months to be exact, working on her shoulder and listening to why her shoulder wasn't getting better work, holidays, life, the usual suspects. But when she finally got quiet, the real truth emerged. I was scared you. You would tell me I would need surgery. One fear disguised in months and months of excuses. That's when I realized something profound about the stories we tell ourselves. I'm Dr. Fred Biggar, and this is The Talking Rehab podcast. Quick favor, before we dive in. If this podcast has changed how you think about your body or your recovery, hit that subscribe button. It's free. It takes two seconds, and it's how we keep bringing you these conversations every week. No fluff. Just real talk about what actually works. Thanks for being here. Today I want to explore something we all do, but rarely examine the excuses we create. Not to judge them, but to understand what they're really telling us about who we've given control to in our own lives. Because here's what I've discovered, your excuses aren't obstacles. they're clues leading you back to your own power. Working with people in pain has taught me something fascinating about human nature. we're incredibly creative storytellers, especially when we're protecting ourselves from something we can't quite name. Sarah's story wasn't unusual. She was a engineer, very smart problem solver, someone who tackles complex challenges every day at work, but when it came to her own shoulder, she became creatively avoidant. The surface story was months and months of excuses. The real story was about a 12-year-old girl who had watched her father struggle with a very similar shoulder problem, had shoulder surgery, and several months of complications, setbacks, and obviously a lot of pain. This left quite an impression on her Here's what struck me. Sarah wasn't lying. When she listed those eight reasons, they were all true, but truth can be layered and the deepest layer was fear. Wearing the Mask of Practicality, I started noticing this pattern everywhere. The businessman who doesn't have time for physical therapy, but finds four hours every Saturday for golf, the mom who can't afford treatment but just renovated her kitchen, these aren't contradictions. They're revelations about what we prioritize when we think no one, including ourselves, is watching. Excuses are like emotions. You can't hold them. You can't touch them, but they shape everything. How you move, how you think, how you live. They're invisible forces with very visible consequences. And here's what makes them so powerful. They feel protective. They give us reasons to avoid the thing we're not ready to face the effort, the vulnerability. The possibility of disappointment, but this type of protection can also become like a prison. The breakthrough with Sarah happened when I stopped trying to overcome her excuses and started getting curious about what they were protecting. Sarah, I said, who's in charge of your shoulder right now? She looked puzzled and asked, what do you mean? is that the fear from what you experienced watching your father suffer through as a young child? Are work deadlines in charge, or are you in charge? Because here's what I'm hearing, everyone and everything gets a vote about your shoulder, except the person who actually lives in that body. That's when something shifted. Not just understanding, but she had recognized the problem. It was like she was seeing herself clearly for the first time in months. The fear was real. Their stories were real, But they didn't have to be the masters of her healing. Here's what I've learned about taking back ownership. It's not about eliminating the uncomfortable stuff, One of the biggest problems I see in rehab is that people want to feel completely comfortable, like having the pain a hundred percent gone before they start trying to move forward, and I've found that doesn't really work very well for a lot of musculoskeletal conditions. What I have found is. it's about rearranging the priorities. Step number one, accept that you'll have excuses, discomfort, and worried thoughts. They're part of being human. Fighting them is like being angry at your own shadow. Step number two. Put yourself in control, your ownership of your own body. This should be at the top of your priority list. That is the only thing that matters, but it is the thing that matters most. Step number three, let everything else be consultants, not decision makers. They get to inform the conversation, but they don't get to run the meeting. When you reclaim the top spot, everything else changes. instead of your body screaming, don't move. It starts whispering. Be mindful instead of fear yelling, don't try. It starts suggesting, maybe go slowly instead of excuses. Demanding, you can't. They start asking, how might this work if we try same information, but a completely different relationship? Marcus taught me a very similar lesson in a different way. He was a construction worker, three years of chronic low back pain. However, he was very creative with his avoidance. The weather was bad for exercises. The truck broke down. There was some job site drama, always something and then I finally asked him the same question, who's in charge of your back? You or your circumstances? He started to become defensive, but then he stopped something in the question caught him. I am not saying that the pain doesn't matter. I'm not saying that life isn't complicated. I'm not saying that this stuff isn't real. What I'm saying is that you get to decide how much authority you give to the voice in your head. What have discovered is that excuses, discomfort, and anxiety are master negotiators. They know exactly how to get your attention and keep it, but they're also terrible leaders. They operate from protection, not growth. From fear, not possibility from past wounds, not present reality. the people who heal the fastest aren't the ones without these experiences. They're the ones who say, I hear you, I understand you, but I'm still the one who makes decisions here. Because once you reclaim that central authority, everything becomes negotiable. Pain becomes feedback instead of a stop sign. Fear becomes caution instead of paralysis, excuses become logistics to solve, instead of walls to hide behind. You're not eliminating the human experience, you're just get, you're just choosing who gets interpreted. So here's what I invite you to try this week. Notice when you catch yourself making excuses about your health, your body, your healing. Don't judge'em. Just notice. Then ask, who's in charge here? Is it the fear? Is it the circumstances, or is it me? When discomfort speaks up, listen, then respond. Thank you for the information. But I'm still the one who gets to make the choices around here. When anxiety chimes in, acknowledge it. I hear your concern, but I'm still in control of my body. when excuses start to flourish, not along and say interesting points, but I'm still going to find a way forward. So remember, when you hear excuses, it doesn't mean that you actually have to listen to them. The only thing that you can control are the actions that follow What you'll discover is that changing who's at the top of your priority list changes everything else. Not by force, but by natural reorganization. Same experiences, just different leadership. Your excuses aren't the enemy. They're messengers. Caring information about what you value, what you fear, and what you've been giving your power away to. The question isn't how to eliminate them. It's how to hear their wisdom without letting them drive your decisions. Because at the end of the day, it's your body, your life, and your choice. Everything else, the pain, the fear, the perfectly reasonable excuses. Those are just the weather important to notice, but not what determines your direction and whether or not you go outside that day. Thanks again for listening. Take care. that's it for today. I'm Dr. Fred b Garris. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for listening to The Talking Rehab podcast. I hope that this podcast stimulates you to question your own practice and how you approach rehabilitation. I truly appreciate your time and attention. If you enjoyed listening, make sure to like and subscribe to the podcast. I wish you a movement filled day. Take care.