Uniquely You: Enneagram + Real Life
Welcome to Uniquely You: Enneagram + Real Life — a podcast that brings personality wisdom into everyday moments. Hosted by life and relationship coach Wendy Busby, each episode offers honest conversations, real-life stories, and practical tips for your everyday life. Whether you're new to the Enneagram or deep in your growth journey, this space invites you to explore who you are, how you relate, and what it means to live with more clarity, compassion, and confidence. Tune in, share with a friend, and keep becoming Uniquely You.
Uniquely You: Enneagram + Real Life
What Happens When Positivity Meets Honest Self-Reflection (Type 7)
Ever wondered what it’s like to discover your Enneagram type in real time? Wendy sits down with Briana, a first-time test taker who lands as a Type Seven, and trace the exact moment optimism meets self-awareness. If you’ve ever kept your options open, reframed pain into a silver lining, or said yes to something exciting before thinking it through, Briana's story will feel familiar.
Brianna brings the classic Seven spark—ideas for days, community energy, and a calendar that rarely sits still. We dig into why Sevens move fast, why boredom bites, and how “positivity as control” can show up without notice. Along the way, we uncover the head triad’s shared thread of fear and how Sevens manage it by staying upbeat and future-focused. From innovation at work to the frustration of stalled follow-through, we explore practical ways to slow the pace, simplify choices, and translate creativity into action that sticks.
What makes this conversation different is the honest tension: the pull to keep things light and the growth that only comes from staying with discomfort a little longer. Briana shares a vulnerable story about overcommitting during new motherhood, the surprise power of talking about hard moments, and the relief of naming what’s actually going on beneath the surface. We close with one simple, doable practice for the week—awareness before action—so change lands gently and lasts longer.
If you’re curious about your Enneagram type or ready to move from labels to lasting growth, press play. Then share your take: where do you reframe instead of feel? Subscribe, leave a review to help others find the show, and invite a friend who loves a good self-discovery journey.
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Welcome back to Uniquely You, the podcast where we bring the Enneagram out of the headspace and into the lived everyday moments that shape who we're becoming. I'm your host, Wendy Busby. Thank you for listening. So today's episode is a little different, and I'm really excited about it. Instead of interviewing someone who already knows their type inside and out, we're doing something I think that many people will relate to. We're exploring the Enneagram in real time through the eyes of someone who just took the online test that I offer and is discovering their type for the very first time. My guest today is Brianna. Brianna and I have known each other for about a year and a half. We're in BI, which is a business networking group together. And so we see each other every week. I have liked Brianna from day one. She's energetic, fun, and she always has a smile on her face. So it was no surprise when her test results came back as an Enneagram type 7. Yes, Enneagram type 7. So I'm excited to dig into our conversation because you're going to hear what it's like to go from I'm curious about this, to wait, does this actually really describe me and what that process is like? So whether you're brand new to the Ennegram or you've known your type for years, I think that you're really going to love this episode because it takes us back to that moment of discovery, that spark where self-awareness begins. So let's jump in. Hi, Brianna. Hello, Wendy.
SPEAKER_01:How are you today?
SPEAKER_02:I'm doing really well today. How are you today?
SPEAKER_01:I am great. I am looking forward to this. So thank you so much for having me today.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and thank you for being brave enough to do this when I kind of shot this idea out to our group and said, hey, is anybody interested in doing, you know, a real-time type episode? And Brianna was like, I'll do it. Little hand in the air, I'll do it. So before we jump into Ennegram stuff, let's start with just a little bit about you. Anything you feel comfortable sharing to kind of set the backdrop for our discovery conversation today, you know, where you're from, your background, what what you do, what you like to do, family, anything, anything you really feel comfortable sharing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, of course. So um I like to kind of give a general overview of what I do in my day-to-day because it really encompasses who I am. Um, I really live in that mantra. So um first and foremost, I am a wife and a mom. And so I have a toddler who toddler moms just we we're a different breed in our little season of life here. So my chaotic toddler, Matthew, um, I talk a lot about him, but um, those are my first priorities. And then from there, I am super active in my personal and professional life. So professionally, my main career is director of recruitment for New York Life of Arizona. So I help recruit for the entire state of Arizona for hiring our newest of agents. And then from there, I also co-own a company with my dad. We do security cameras, alarm systems, things like that. And then because I am a natural-born philanthropist, I give back to the community. It's what fills my bucket. So I am a part of many organizations, BI being one of them to help connect that business world with that professional or that personal side, as well as I am on the community outreach for Special Olympics, as well as a board member of the Yuma Valley Rod and Gun Club, which is a hunting and fishing conservation club here in the Yuma area. So um I had I do a lot, but it really helps me and feeling joy in my life. So I'm sure we'll dive into that throughout from the brief little I saw in here.
SPEAKER_02:Right. So fantastic. So right off the bat, we're seeing pretty typical type seven stuff. And I and I'm not into like stereotyping. I don't like that. I don't like too many generalizations, but it's very common for sevens to be involved in lots of things. It just is. They like to be busy, they like to be doing things, and um, giving back is an important part of that. So thank you for sharing all of those details, Brian. I appreciate that. You're so welcome. So yeah, so one more question um before we get into the like details of your results. I want to know uh what your impression of the Enneagram was before taking the test. What made you curious about it? Or how did you even come to learn about that there is something that exists that's called the Enneagram?
SPEAKER_01:Well, honestly, from you sitting in B and I hearing you talk about it all the time, um, I've had to take different personality assessments through through my personal and professional career for college and work and all of that. And so I am big into especially recently, this last calendar year, on really self-improvement and really being intentional with what I'm doing, the conversations that I'm having. And I feel like the only way to do that is to by understanding myself, because I can't, if I don't truly understand who I am, then I can't improve and move forward. And so um, I know we've talked off and on over the last year or year and a half that we've known each other about doing it. And so when you presented that opportunity, I said, yes, I would like to learn, see what it's about. I am one that I will jump in when presented the right opportunity. It's just when it all can fit, and this one just kind of naturally happens. So um, yes, I'm really excited about it, especially in this chapter in my life.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, for sure. And um, one of the things I know I've told you this before, but just to reiterate it again, one of the things that I love so much about the Enneagram, what I believe sets it apart from other personality um tests, personality modalities. You've got plenty of them out there that you can choose from. But what we find is that with with the other ones, it's really about highlighting what it is that you do, what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, what are you good at, what are you not good at? But what the Enneagram does is that it does that as well. It helps us see that, but it's but it lets us, it helps us to dig into why. Why is that something you're good at? Why is that something you struggle with? And that's really where the meat of it is, the depth of it is. So it goes beyond the surface of the just the what into the why. And I'm a firm believer in when we understand why we're doing something, what's motivating us to show up in our life the way we show up, then we can really do something about that if we want to. If we want to make changes, then we've got to know what's motivating us to be the way we are in the first place. So that's my little two cents there on that. No, no, I agree. Yeah. And um, as I already alluded to, your suggested type was seven. And so I want to read this little summary of type seven, and then um we'll get into what your initial thoughts on it. So here's just an overview on um what is a type seven. So type sevens, type sevens are positive, fun-loving, future focused, optimistic, adventurous, spontaneous, innovative, and enthusiastic. There's a lot of words there. Sevens are motivated to keep the mood up out of a desire to avoid emotional pain, sometimes very unconsciously. They continually reframe negatives into positives to sustain a sense of freedom from limitations and maintain an up deep mental perspective. They focus their attention on fun, pleasure, and stimulating things to do and think about. They dislike feeling limited or controlled by outside forces, but may not see how their need to escape from any kind of control or constraint can also lead to self-limiting habits. So that is kind of just an uh it's a long overview, but it's an overview of type seven. What are your initial thoughts on what I just read?
SPEAKER_01:Well, so the word one word that really pops out to me as innovative. And I know in BI, I just won an innovation award, and it was actually genuinely super surprising to me because I don't feel like what I do or how I think is necessarily innovative. I just talk through it and I'm like, oh, what about this idea? What about that idea? And so, since that, and then the brief going through this report when I got it, I was like, oh, I guess that is why I am so successful as my background in teaching. Um, because I come to the floor with so many new ideas all the time that I don't know, I was kind of really surprised because I wouldn't naturally think that that would be a word that would describe me. But over the last couple of days, I've I've really been like thinking through that just that brief description. I was like, oh, I guess I am. I'm just not looking at it in that same way. To me, I'm just thinking, not bringing new ideas.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, and it's very natural for you. The things that come very the things that come very naturally to us, they don't necessarily seem um uh they they surprise us when other people see them as being something as stand that stands out, I guess is what I'm trying to say, right? So for what you just said of like being innovative, everyone else sees you as very innovative, but difficult to see yourself that way because it's just a natural part of how you exist. It's a natural part of you, and again, it is one of those strengths of type seven. How that can get in the way sometimes is uh when there's no movement on that door. It's just idea after idea after idea. And seven can really live in that idea land of just ideas, just ideas, but to be able to take an idea and see it all the way through can sometimes get a little, I don't know, little bumps in the road for the for sevens.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So as you were saying, what came to mind for me was more so in what I do for work. So I recruit, but I also and with it, that is training and onboarding and really supporting in that. And that is where I get my biggest frustrations is when I'm sitting with agents and I'm like, hey, like what about this? What about that? Try this, try that. And if they were to say, hey, like I just really that makes me uncomfortable for this reason, or I just that I don't see myself doing that, I would rather them be up front than that, but they'll usually appease me because of just the position, and they'll be like, Oh yeah, like yeah, I'll try it. And then they never take action on any of them. And I get so frustrated because I'm like, just pick one, just pick one to try it, and it is I never would have thought of it like that. So now that's really eye-opening on how I can. I mean, I'm sure I'll get into it, but move my language to helping them make choices too. So it's a win-win all around. But um I'm sure I've made the same decisions on indecision, but yeah, interesting.
SPEAKER_02:Right. And another point too is is because you're thinking very fast, most people are not thinking that fast. And it can be hard for people to keep up with type sevens because they just move at a faster cognitive speed. And um, so it doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. It's just something to be aware of. If that the people you're talking to don't seem to be getting what you're saying, maybe changing it up or slowing it down, which is gonna be uncomfortable, right? Slowing down is uncomfortable. But if you're wanting to change the way you're interacting with people, the impact you're having on other people, it might be helpful to just pay attention. Oh, I might be going a little fast here. Let me just dial that back and recognizing in yourself, hmm, I don't really like the way this feels, but I'm growing, I'm working on myself. So let me try this out and see what the outcome is. Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_01:It does. It does. And I I guess I already do do it a little bit when I find myself lost in thought when I'm trying to explain stuff that I'll outwards say, hey, give me a second to slow my brain down for a second. Yeah. And people usually respect it because they know me well enough at this point that they're like, okay, take your time, like get it in order. Um, or I say something along the lines of, hey, like, let me put this in order in my mind first, because it's like pinging every which way. Um, but now that I'm like saying it out loud, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna have to start saying that more because I'm sure there's a lot of areas where I'm just like, I'm the expert and that everyone is, and I forget that it's not the same understanding on both ends. So to really slow it down a little bit.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. So speaking of the report, so what Brianna did was um she took the online Enneagram test that I offer, and with that comes a 20 plus 20 page plus, 20 plus page report about the type that she came out the highest in, which was seven. And so as you've looked through that report, Brianna, I'm curious if um anything felt um uncomfortably accurate. Let's start there. Did anything feel uncomfortably accurate?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, actually, so in the beginning piece where it talks a little bit about the subtypes, and it really calls me out on be viewing the world on rose-colored glasses. And I, as you know, I've we've talked a lot about it. I am inherently a positive person. I will turn everything into the silver lining. Let's look at it, let's focus on that to move forward. And I would have never explained or described myself as like viewing life through rose-colored glasses because I would have been like, hey, I still see the real sides of it, but as I like scanned through this when it was saying, hey, like you don't like looking at the pain points, you really will turn away after these last few days of really some self-reflection. I'm like, oh, I was not clear in my boundary, in my anything, because I'd say it and then I'd back it up with, but I understand, I get it, you know, it's hard, we're all struggling, whatever it is to justify when both can be true. And it's been, it's crazy because I would have never ever explained myself or described myself as being like that way, even though I know I'm positive. And so that one has been very, I don't want to say earth shattering, that sounds very dramatic, but it's just a huge like it shifted my world upside down because I would have thought I was a little more realistic, but like really going through all this, I'm like, oh, I really do shut out. I don't like having the hard conversations, I'll move past them as quickly as I can. And so having to learn that I gotta I have to lean into that a little bit is gonna be a little uncomfortable moving forward.
SPEAKER_02:So um probably the big this is and this is all about it's a it's a self-discovery journey, it is not a straight line, it has many, many curves. I love to use the analogy of a river. A river is not straight. It turns and it twists, and sometimes it gets um swirls in it where it holds something in place for a long time, like a vortex, right? And we can get caught in those and trying to get out into the flow of life where the river is flowing because life is constantly moving forward, whether we like it or not. And so when we can keep the perspective of I um I'm gonna stay open to what life is bringing me, the lessons that life is teaching me right now, um, can really be a good perspective to take. And then for you specifically noticing when you are reframing. So we would call that reframing a negative into a positive because of the discomfort, because of how uncomfortable it feels for you to stay in uh what might what might not feel so good. And there's a a desire to just move out of that quickly. But what can happen in that is that you might miss out on really what the lesson is there for. What is it that I'm meant to take from this? And ultimately what happens is that keeps life a little superficial. It can um, and that's the hard part about this when we're confronted with uh those harder truths of life. Because on the outside, it's like, well, of course, day positive. Positivity is fantastic, yes, it is, but when we're only positive, we are missing out on the reality of life because life is not always positive, it just isn't, you know, that's hard. Totally get it.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Yeah, yeah. No, it's the it's been a lot, yeah, to kind of take those glasses off for the time being and be like, oh, it is a little bit rough out there, rougher than I was expecting.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So, so in the process, Brianna, I would just encourage you to, and I know you love this word, to give yourself a lot of grace. You know, sometimes it's good to like plan, make a plan for it. Like, okay, today, you know, for two hours, I'm gonna just stay open, I'm gonna pay attention to when I'm shifting from what's uncomfortable to wanting to stay positive. And then we can close that and put it away and just go on with life. When as you're introducing some of these um growth strategies into your life, like just take them a little bit at a time. Because when we try to just jump in and go all for it, it can it can really overwhelm us. And then I've seen people just completely shut off. They're like, nope, too much, I'm out. You know, so give yourself a lot of grace through the process and um lean on the people around you that love and care about you and want to support your growth. You know?
SPEAKER_00:Right. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. So moving on with um some type seven specific things. Um we already kind of talked about that. Okay, let me ask you this question. Just kind of let's shift it to a little something a little bit lighter.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Well, so because sevens like to have life to be fun, they like life to be light, life to be fun. What happens when something is boring?
SPEAKER_01:I actually get really agitated about it. I get kind of like, um, and I don't think I do it intentionally. I just, but if my if I am bored, to me, it feels very unproductive. Like there's something else that I could be doing, or something better that I could be doing. Um, because I like to do all the positive stuff. Why would I want to sit here if it's not for me? Um, I will, you know, even if for things for like my husband, I may not like all the things that he does, but I'll do it and I'll be like excruciating the whole time. And then I get a little more snappy or a little like edgy about things when he would do this, or not the snappy part, but he would go and do things for me. So I have to realize it's the balance of it, right? That's the uncomfortable part of being in a relationship or with, you know, not even just my husband, but friends. So I'll usually tend to be like, no, sorry, that's not for me. When I should look at it a little bit more of like maybe a growth opportunity for myself, or like, hey, just go try it out. Maybe you will like it eventually. Um, but I do. I usually get kind of agitated and antsy because I I'm a mover, I'm a shaker. If my mind is still, then I have to look for other things. And if it's like not possible for me to move or leave, you know, um, then I sit and I dwell on any sort of little things, and that's where I will start to spiral. So then that's where I go, nope, we're gonna be positive, and I'll start thinking of something new. So my brain is like very rarely do I actually pay attention then to what I'm doing. If I've already deemed it as boring, then it's like I've checked out and I'm missing everything about it while being annoyed.
SPEAKER_02:So it's just yeah, yeah. And I hear a little, a little tone of the there's some anger there. Like I'm angry about being stuck in this thing I don't really want to be doing. Is that fair?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, I wouldn't have described it as that until just now, but yes, I guess inherently it would be, you know, or not conscious or not consciously, you know, like, but yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um not consciously, right? Yeah, not consciously, and um there's also uh all types, okay. This is not a type specific thing, all types like control. All types we have our different ways of doing it, and sevens can often try to control by keeping their options open. That's one way they can control. Like, oh, I don't want to actually commit to this thing because I want to be able, I want to have an out if needed. If I'm not liking this, if I change my mind, if something so having multiple options is one way that sevens exercise control. Um being positive is another way that they can stay in control. I don't like that from the sevens perspective, I don't like that um everyone around here is being negative. So that makes me feel a little uncomfortable, makes me feel angry. So let me control by control a situation by saying something funny or trying to make people laugh or making a commotion of some kind to distract from what might be happening. They're very subtle little ways that we don't really realize are happening, but the motivation is control. And again, every single type has their own ways of controlling. So it's not about calling out sevens for that. That's just their strategy because they don't like it when things are uncomfortable. It's like why there the motto, and I've told you this before: the motto of type seven is why feel bad when you can feel good.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, yes, right? You're like, yes, that I've actually said that. Like, why would I be upset? Why would it bother you? Like, yeah, just like can we move on here, people? Come on. Yes, right. That's funny.
SPEAKER_01:I do not like when people dwell to an extent. There are times where yes, you need to sit in it and talk about it, but when it drags on, I'm like, come on now. Like, what what is happening? And to me, it's more about I guess efficiency, right? Like, why are we wasting time? Why are we wasting our energy on this? Like, we've said what we got to say now, like move on. When even though sometimes I'm guilty of it, like, no, that irritated me, but I bottle it up and I like push it down. I am an I am the volcano. I bottle things and then I explode. And then everyone's like, what is happening? Where is that coming from? Because in hindsight, now it's because I don't want to deal with it then. So then it comes to a head because it's so compacted that then I'm on like a war path, and people are like, This is your zero to a thousand. There was no in between, and that's yeah, that's where I'm coming to terms with this. Those glasses are coming off, and I'm like, oh, here I am, which is me.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, so when when holes start to get poked in our structure, you know, in the way we've structured how we show up, it's it hurts. I mean, it's literally it hurts, and it's so interesting to me. I love type sevens. I I wish I was a little more like them. And so they're a they're a type that I look to of like, how can I what are the things that I can take for from here as a as a growth opportunity, you know? And for I'm a four, and I'm there, I don't have any connection to seven on the any ground. So my wings are three and five, and my arrows are one and two. So seven is over here on this other side, but um there's so much I love about sevens, and we're almost completely, we're very opposite. So I would, I'm much more comfortable to stay in the like what's not working and sadness and oh, let's just things are not going okay. Let's stay here and let's talk about it forever because that might make us feel better. And you're like, come on, let's move on. Time to speed it up. Right? And I need people in my life like that, just like you need people like me in your life who say it's okay, it's okay for us to stay here where it doesn't feel so good. Because we can learn something from this. We need that's what that's the beauty of this, and why we need each other. We need all of the Enneagram types because we all bring something beautiful and we all have our own stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, it it that's crazy because now I'm thinking through like all the conversations, and like people usually are drawn to me because I will pull them out. I will be the one being like, hey, let's let's look at the positives, right? Let's be that person. But then the people that I do call that I do lean on, they're the ones like, hey, slow down, think, just think about this for a second. And so that's really crazy. I've never really thought of it who my counterbalances are in like my husband is the polar opposite, he will ground me quite quickly and be like, that's not that's not all completely true. I'll be like, Yeah, nope, everything's happy, we're all good, it's gonna work out just fine. He's like, No, there's a lot more in between. So it's really interesting that I actually just found a counter, like a complete counterbalance to that. So wow, look at me.
SPEAKER_02:My brain is just like glowing light light bulbs all over the place.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, exactly. Wow, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, so I thought it would be kind of fun to do some type seven memes because you know, I mean, they're funny, right? So I'm gonna read um a couple memes to you, and I just want you to respond. Okay, so the first one. The first one is me making plans on a Monday. Sure. I can go to brunch, the farmers market, go for a hike, host game night. Absolutely, why not? Also me on Saturday morning. Why did past me do this to current me?
SPEAKER_01:You know what's really funny about that is my best friend and I have a saying, then I say, future Brianna is problem. That is a future Brianna problem. And I she so it's very accurate because I am very that person. Like, yeah, if it fits in my calendar and otherwise I have no nothing that tell me no, other if even if it's me being like, I just don't want to do it, I'll be like, no, I can do it. Easy. Yeah, no, so future Brianna deals with a lot of problems.
SPEAKER_02:So future Brianna. Yeah, that's so funny. Okay, so here's the here's the next one. All right. When someone asks type seven how they're feeling, their response is, I'm feeling like we should go get ice cream and not talk about that.
SPEAKER_01:Also, something that I have said.
SPEAKER_00:Wow, I'm calling feeling really called out.
SPEAKER_01:Um, no, that is actually something that's really funny. That is something. One ice cream is one of my absolute favorite things. And so, yeah, no, I would absolutely I have said that to my best friend, been like, nope, I just need to go and have something that I enjoy, and let's go talk about something completely different. I don't want to talk about whatever it was that upset me, and all my friends know, okay, and they know by the time we're done having our ice cream date, I will be good to go and on my way, and not really obviously hindsight again, dealing with the underrooting issues, which is why we get to the volcano stage. So all making so much sense.
SPEAKER_02:That's so funny. Okay, here's the here's the last one. Okay, me setting a goal. This time I'm really going to focus. Also, me 10 minutes later. Ooh, I should learn pottery.
SPEAKER_01:I will say, yes, that is me. I am better about it because I can't be buying a bunch of new craft stuff. But yes, I it is something that I've been working on just by myself this last year, is really sticking to and following through because I felt that that was something that I didn't really have, especially since having my son. He's two and a half. I feel like I was all over the place and I didn't have anything that was like me as in like hobbies or anything like that. And so, really kind of getting back to that, but I could definitely see where that would be something in my because I always like I am a new shiny person. It's very easy to be like, oh, let's try this method or this method instead of just sticking to the path or plan. That's very hard for me because one little thing, and I'm like, oop, next next line, and it's next, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, always have to be that way.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. All right. So getting a little bit more serious again.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:My next, I'm curious to know if there's been a time when you've said yes to something just because it sounded exciting, and then later realized it was too much. Has that ever happened to you where you've said yes to something because it sounded really exciting, but then later you realized, well, that was I that was too much. I maybe shouldn't have said yes to that.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, actually, so my first term of my BI presidency, um, I agreed to becoming president. I would say maybe six to eight weeks after I had had Matthew. I had just barely come back from maternity leave. And I was so honored that they had asked me, especially after being out for six weeks. And um, I was uh one of the youngest in the chapter, still, I mean, I think I was coming up on my year mark with them, but I was so flattered and I was like, yeah, let's do it. Like it's gonna look good on my resume, it's gonna look good, you know, in the community and building my business, all of this. And then six months later, when Matthew is six months old and moving and not the newborn, where he was just little and stayed still on the couch, I had to balance new momhood, career, and presidency while trying to figure out just who I was or who I am. I'm still in that journey, but it was very, very difficult and it impacted a lot of personally and professionally because I just it was too much. But the thought of it, and then I was that locked in sense like that hits a nerve with B and I, specifically in that frame, because I I felt like I needed to get out, but I didn't feel like I could because I had committed to an executive leadership. I wasn't just a regular member, but I was the the president, so um, that was a really difficult time in my my life, even though I mean a year ago, but it I struggled with that, and that is a big glaring one to me where I was like, ooh, I should have probably thought through that a little bit more on what it means outside of the initial gates kind of thing. So probably the biggest one right now that comes to mind.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, okay, yeah, thank thank you for sharing that. I hadn't I hadn't even really put that together, but that makes a lot of sense, you know. Yeah, new mom, which is such a change, anyways, and then to add those other things and and you did it with such beauty and grace, too. Um not but not to diminish how not to diminish at all how hard it was for you, or the um amount of effort that it took. Um, so thank thank you for doing it, first of all, but then also thank you for being honest with about about how hard that was.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. Yeah, it's um that's something I've really reflected on independently over the last couple of years that I've been in that role. Um, just because it did impact so much in my life. Um, I'm not one to, again, those rose-colored glasses, I don't put that kind of negative talk out. It's my very closest of circle ever knows what's truly in my mind. So people are usually very, very surprised when I'm like, no, my world is like collapsing behind me. And they're like, I had no idea. Um like most people know now because it has been a while, but like when Matthew had his first seizure, I was like so closed lips about it. I was like, nope, we're not, we're not gonna go there. We I don't, I can't. And now I find talking about it actually does help because it's he it's february seizure, so very, very common. I didn't know that, and so everyone's like, it's all good, it's really fine. All my kids have it. I've I'm actually surprised at how many kids have had it, and I only know that now because I'm like asking around. I mean, like, hey, so like Matthew has this. Do you know about it as your kid? What up? And yes, so I'm learning that I do have to talk about the uncomfortable because then I find common ground with people. What a concept! What a concept.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, so I'm curious, what is your relationship with fear? What is fear? How does that show up in your life? What does it look like, feel like to contend with fear?
SPEAKER_00:That's a good question.
SPEAKER_01:Um so when I'm fear, I usually look inward and I tend to shut a lot of people out. Um, and then my mind is racing through every situation that could happen, at least as far as I can see. So it's really like you kind of explained it as like a Rolodex where my mind is like thinking of like options A through Z. And it's so rapid fire that usually when I'm faced with any major fear of anything, I lack sleep, I lack everything because my mind is just thinking, well, if this happens, what if this happens, what if this happens, and thinking through from there, okay, well, if this happens, then this happens, and then all of a sudden I'm just like so far gone that then I have to like re-pull myself back out. But sometimes it's that's hard because I'm not willing to share that outwardly because everyone sees me as so positive that when I call and I'm like, hey, I'm struggling, they're always like, I don't even know what to say to you because this is so out of left field for you. Um, is usually how I'm faced with people, but for me, I usually turn inward before I do anything.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, yeah, it can be hard for sevens to see fear, but when we look at the map of the Enneagram, the five, six, and seven um are in the head triad, meaning like you're the the dominant um dominant activity is in the head, which we've already talked about, and you've explained that and you just talked about like my mind starts going rapid fire. But what people also don't necessarily see, and sevens can have a hard time seeing, is that they're also in the fear triad. So five, six, and seven, their underlying emotion is fear for eight, nine, and one, it's anger. For two, threes, and four, it's sadness. So when we look at the three types together, five, six, and seven, there's a commonality of underlying fear, of motivation of fear. And the way to deal with that for you is to stay positive. It's one of the ways to deal with it. Fives do it by being private. Sixes do it by planning, over-preparing. Well, if I if I'm already prepared for what might go wrong, then I'm gonna be ready when it does. So there's this over focus on what might go wrong, and they can have a hard time seeing what's going right. And fives can just they like can isolate, be very private, quiet, um, and not open as a um response to the underlying fear. And so that would be something I would encourage you just to kind of sit with a little bit and start to pay attention of okay, I'm I'm sensing some maybe a little anxiety, something going on. Okay, can I take this a little bit deeper than where I'm at right now? What am I what am I afraid of? What am I afraid of? And just sit with that question and just let whatever comes to the surface come to the surface. Where the threat of fear might be in life. Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that makes sense. Like obviously, my mind is like reeling through all different things. I'm like, oh, I could definitely see where that is the underlying in my life. So I'm like, oh wow, yeah, okay.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So like with all this, like with all this stuff, we just stay curious, right? Like, okay, well, that's kind of interesting. Let me sit with that for a little bit. Yeah. Um, and so staying on that, because this can be one of those sneaky fear motivation things. When we talk about like wanting to have options, wanting to keep things open, what's it what is it like for you to commit to something that may not have a clear beginning and end, or that may be long-term, that you have no idea how long you may need to commit to it. What is that like for you? Even just saying that, what comes up for you if I were to say, uh you you've got to commit to something, but I don't like I can't really tell you when it's gonna be over.
SPEAKER_01:You just have to that gives me so much anxiety. I'm I know you can see me like squirming in my feet. Like I truly am like, no, please don't ever do that to me. I I need deadlines, which is crazy because even if that deadline moves, like I'd rather that than be like, I don't know, we're just gonna keep going until we're done. Oh, I that the like I truly can't even explain it. It's like it's weird because I don't have words for it, but in my gut is like, no, we need we need facts, we need to know what we're doing, why we're doing it. And I think it's kind of thinking about what we were saying earlier of it, let's move forward because if I don't have that end goal, then like what are we going towards? And I don't want to, I'm all about efficiency, so I don't want to overshoot it and waste my time, but I don't want to undershoot it and then have to like re-pick up. So like I need a deadline, I need a goal, and so those arbitrary ones are not for me. It's like yeah, right now.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, right. But but your response was your response was perfect. You're like, uh, that's that's causing me to feel anxious. Like, I know, not only no, but bye. Yes, yes. Like I'm I am I'm out. Don't even ask me, like, where's the door? I'm blocking you. I I mean, you're right. I mean, it's like it can the anxiety around that can feel so intense for a type seven, other types too, but for seven specifically, of like you're asking something for me and you're not giving me what's what it is it actually is. You just want me to come along for the ride. I'm not into that, you know?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so just knowing, just knowing that helps us. Again, it's all about being curious, it's all about starting to pay attention. And then, and then you get to choose, okay, well, you know, maybe I want to explore this, or maybe I don't, or maybe I'm not ready for that. Um, it's it's about what you need and what you feel ready for. So um I do want to respect our time and I feel like we could talk forever about this, but I think we've talked a lot about just the kind of you know, wave top stuff of type seven. We got under the wave a little bit, but talking about moving forward because I know that that's something that's important to you. Moving forward, what is the growth path? What I'm gonna ask you this question what is one thing that you want to pay attention to this week that you that you now know about yourself? What what's something that you think would be good for Brianna to pay attention to just this week? Right? What it's Monday till Sunday.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know. I feel like, well, and this is um, I'm I'm assuming a type seven thing that I'm like, we've talked about so many. I want to look at all of them. And my mind is like, I could do all of them. But I think really right now is just really taking a baseline, an inventory now that I have the the language behind it, or more of the perspective behind it of, you know, when I'm having all of these feelings, or I'm starting to get really worked up or agitated, um, or just my big emotions in general with toggles. They they arise a lot on all spectrums of really taking it where where is it coming from and what why am I feeling that way? Um, and what my how I would normally approach it, right? Of like, hey, this is how I would truly normally respond to it. Um, whether or not I take that path is to be seen, but just bringing more awareness of like when I'm making those decisions on why I'm choosing that path or not choosing a different path, kind of thing. So slowing down to think through.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, awareness is the first step to change. It starts with paying attention, becoming aware. The actions don't come till later. And we need the we need the step of awareness first so that we can just go, oh, okay, I see that. Okay. And we often we're not gonna see it in the moment. This requires some self-reflection by looking back and going, oh, okay, I was in that conversation or I was in that situation. And let me check in with myself, what was actually going on with me? What was I doing? What was I thinking? How was I feeling? And then examining that and going, oh, you know, maybe next time if I find myself feeling that same way, maybe I could do this instead. And then eventually, when you do that over and over and over again, at some point you're going to get to that situation and be like, and be able to respond differently. But that's not the first thing that happens. And it's important for people to understand that it's first awareness and self-reflection, and then comes the in the moment changes when we can. I mean, I've been doing been doing this for a long time. There are things I've been working on for years and years and years, and sometimes I'm able to show up in the moment and and and respond differently. And sometimes I'm like, whoa, well, there she is again. Because that's just life, you know? And I can I can get to those places quicker than I than I used to, and I can have more humor about it. But you know what? The reality is, is that sometimes I just get triggered by the same stuff over and over and over again, just like everybody else. But I'm trying to pay attention to it and going, oh, well, there it is. Okay. Here's how we responded. Here's how I wish I would have responded. Next time, let's look, let's try to look for that. And then we just keep going with a lot of grace, a lot of compassion, and a lot of kindness towards ourselves.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Yep. Well, you know that that's grace was my word last year. We've talked a lot about it. And so I think that keeping that in mind, you know, it just because it was my word last year doesn't mean it can't still be prevalent this year while I'm moving all through that. So um that is a big one for myself, which is why it was my word last year. I wish I could reuse it because it sounds like I'm gonna have to have a lot more grace for myself, but um that is a big piece of all of this is for myself, is like I want to be the positive person. So shifting all of that is difficult for me. And yeah, this is rough.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and there's absolutely nothing that says you can't keep that word for another year, you know, you get to decide what's gonna be good for you. And so as we close, as we close up here, if another beginner happens to be listening, someone who's brand new to the Enneagram, just learning about it, doesn't know what their type is, maybe has an idea, what would you tell them about taking this Enneagram assessment and starting a self-discovery journey?
SPEAKER_01:I would say to be just open-minded to it all. I know that is one place that I am successful in just being open to hearing all the things, even if I don't necessarily want to. Um, but being just open to hearing it and taking it. And I from my own wellness journey that I know you know about, um, is taking it little by little. It's it is a difficult task for me to break things off. I'd rather just jump all in and get it all tackled in one setting. Um, and so learning to build those habits up, like habit stacking, and you know, little by little, um, it's so much easier step by step, like those baby steps than huge leaps and bounds. And so um, that is what I found personally on my own journey, and so it's gonna be true for this as well, is that I can't fix everything overnight. It didn't get to this point overnight either. So undoing it is going to be equally as slow. Um, so it's good, that's more of a reminder for myself as well that it is a process. So, yes, I think that's what I would say.
SPEAKER_00:I love it.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, and I will just I'll just add that um to anyone who might be listening, first thank you for listening. I hope that the conversation has been helpful. But if you are curious about the Enneagram or your Enigram type, hop over to my website, windybusbycoaching.com, and you can get your test today. It's only$49 and you get a 20 plate, 20 page, 25 page report. I couldn't say that the first part time either. Anyways, it's um about 90 questions. Um, it'll take you 25 to 30 minutes. It is an adaptable test, which means it will ask you questions and then get more specific with its questions as it's trying to narrow down what the best suggestion it can make for you. Um, and then I also offer a complimentary follow-up to that to review your results. So if anyone has any questions about that, you can hit me up on Instagram at Wendy Life and LoveCoach. Send me an email, wendybusbycoaching.com, or check out my website. Thanks everyone for listening. And Brianna, thank you for your candidness and your willingness to be here with me today. I really appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01:No, thank you for having me. I learned a lot about myself. So thank you so much. I appreciate it. My pleasure.