Anne Levine Show
Funny, weekly, sugar free: Starring "Michael-over-there."
Anne Levine Show
We're Happy, We're Flappy
We've got a papal election, celebrity soup moments, and dogs celebrating birthdays! Welcome to the delightfully unpredictable world of The Anne Levine Show, where host Anne and co-host Michael Over There™ masterfully weave through cultural touchpoints both global and hyperlocal.
The Vatican's white smoke signaled the arrival of the new Pope Leo XIV (formerly Robert "Bob" Prevost), a Chicago-born 69-year-old with surprising inaugural priorities including AI ethics. Meanwhile, the Met Gala celebrated Black dandyism with Rihanna announcing her pregnancy in Marc Jacobs, Zendaya channeling Diana Ross and Bianca Jagger, and Diana Ross herself wearing an 18-foot train embroidered with family names – a powerful recognition of Black fashion's enduring influence on mainstream couture.
Against this backdrop of world events, Anne and Michael celebrate their dog Yaya's third birthday, lamenting how quickly our beloved pets age and wishing scientists would focus less on space exploration and more on extending canine lifespans. Their discussion ventures through social media absurdities (Taylor Swift's jet now has its own Instagram account), unusual news (a Vermont town swore in AI chatbot "Greg" as ceremonial mayor), and celebrity dirt (Kylie Jenner being escorted from Art Basel after sitting on a $40,000 chair installation).
The conversation takes a uniquely Cape Cod turn with shark cam footage capturing a drag queen paddleboarding with seals in Provincetown, prompting officials to respond with "Shantay, you slay. Also, please exit the SEAL nursery area immediately." Historical tidbits about beard taxes in England and Russia provide educational value, while frank discussions about aging – complete with references to "neck flaps" appearing at 55 – remind listeners that The Anne Levine Show delivers both entertainment and authenticity in equal measure.
Join us weekly for this uniquely engaging blend of news, nostalgia, and observations that somehow manage to capture the zeitgeist through a lens both intimate, expansive, and flappy. Where else will you find conversations that jump from papal elections to paddleboarding drag queens with such seamless delight?
Find our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/447251562357065/
I want to know if you've ever eaten at a restaurant in Port Angeles.
Speaker 3:I don't believe, so I've driven through several times.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, ten years later, my niece, the daughter of my sister, is getting married, Meanwhile ten years later, my niece the daughter of my sister is getting married.
Speaker 2:The Anne Levine Show. If you're not listening, you need to be listening. I love this.
Speaker 1:A whole section of sharks.
Speaker 2:Oh, Mr Engineer.
Speaker 3:You guessed right it's time for the Anne Levine Show. This is today and everything else is yesterday's mashed potatoes. W-o-m-r. 92.1 FM. Provincetown.
Speaker 1:And that over there is Michael. She is always right, always right. You're a spaceman in Tulsa, so you cover it up in clown white. All these elegant boys make such delicate toys and they know it.
Speaker 2:Hello, welcome to the Ann Levine Show. This is Ann Levine on WOMR, and we are starring today Michael over there.
Speaker 1:Hello.
Speaker 2:This is 92.1 FM in Provincetown.
Speaker 3:That's right, and 91.3 FM WFMR Orleans.
Speaker 2:And we got Counting Crows.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, and we got WOMRorg, where we're streaming 24-7 worldwide.
Speaker 2:How about that? That's true too.
Speaker 3:It's amazing, it really is, when you think about it.
Speaker 2:Spaceman and Tulsa. That's what we're playing.
Speaker 3:Love this song and, if you're interested, counting Crows will be at the MGM Music Hall at Fenway on the 26th of June.
Speaker 2:Really. Yeah, I'm interested. Okay, well, there you go At the MGM at Fenway. I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, we'll just go to Fenway and we'll find it, I'm sure, right, right.
Speaker 2:Fenway, and we'll find it, I'm sure, right, I mean, is it what Fenway concerts are called now, or?
Speaker 3:is it?
Speaker 2:an actual venue.
Speaker 3:I'm telling you what I'm reading right here.
Speaker 2:That's what I know about it. Okay, I thought you might know something. You don't know something, so we had white smoke this week.
Speaker 3:Oh, that is right. Oh wow, we did.
Speaker 2:Which means we've got a new poppy. That's right.
Speaker 3:A new pope, pope Bob.
Speaker 2:Leo XIV is his pope name, his new pope. Pope Bob Leo XIV is his pope name, his new?
Speaker 3:name.
Speaker 2:His real name is Robert Bob Prevost. Yeah, and he was born in Chicago. Go Bess.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you are.
Speaker 2:And he did missionary work in Peru and he's a member of the Augustinian Order.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now this part kills me. His inaugural address emphasized peace, freedom of the press and the ethical considerations of AI.
Speaker 3:Okay, all very important things, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and wow, go Poppy yeah.
Speaker 3:He's been very critical of the United States administration, the current administration, well, and he was during their last go through, when he was still Cardinal Bob, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Well, he's spry, young, 69.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know they wanted a guy that could be around for a while. They were hoping right and still not too young.
Speaker 2:How long was Pope Francis?
Speaker 3:I don't know, was it 15, 16 years?
Speaker 2:That's a good run.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that sounds pretty good. I mean, you know, if you're a pope, right?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, now I wonder why he picked Leo XIV. 12 years, 12 years, yeah, okay, not bad.
Speaker 3:Right yeah.
Speaker 2:And right before him was it the German Shepherd, but then before him was it JP2?.
Speaker 3:JP2, yeah.
Speaker 2:Wow, all right. Well, it was, that's today in Pope News. Yes, that's our Pope News. Yeah, the Ann Levine.
Speaker 3:Show the world's most educational radio program.
Speaker 2:And we may not mention Pope News again until there's the next Pope.
Speaker 3:Or something Alexander Pope or you know something like that, but not really papal kind of news.
Speaker 2:Yeah, papal news yeah, metgala, oh yeah oh yeah, that happened took place that was interesting well, yeah, and I gotta say the theme this year was called super fine, tailoring black style, celebrating black dandyism and menswear.
Speaker 3:Right Yep.
Speaker 2:Now I can think of one designer whose name escapes me.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, all right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's the guy that does all the. He's in Harlem. He does all the dandy clothes, uh-huh. Can you see, if you could? I can't remember his name. He's got a store.
Speaker 3:Is it Dapper Dan?
Speaker 2:Yes, Dapper Dan. Yeah, Now personal. I don't know who the designers were that they were celebrating. I'll be honest with you, I couldn't get too deep into this. Michael and I had a busy week with relatives visiting We'll get to that but didn't get a chance to really put in the time for black dandyism, right. But Dapper Dan is the man who makes dandy clothes.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:For well, for anyone, but his target audience is black men. Yeah, all men, yeah, all right. Okay, rihanna showed up in a Marc Jacobs rig, okay, and announced her third pregnancy. Oh, that's right, I'd heard about that. Yeah, yeah, third pregnancy.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's right, I'd heard about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, zendaya.
Speaker 3:Because she was like in her third month and it was showing a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she had a little bump. Zendaya did an homage to this pair, which maybe you can come up with a connection, I don't know An homage to Diana Ross and Bianca Jagger. I'm not sure what that means, but she was wearing an all-white suit, so is that something Now? Bianca Jagger used to wear an all-white trouser suit frequently, right?
Speaker 3:yeah.
Speaker 2:But Diana Ross.
Speaker 3:Maybe it's the hat. Oh, because the big kind of floppy hat very Diana Ross.
Speaker 2:It is yeah, I think so. Okay, well, there you go, and then Diana Ross who was there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's exactly the kind of hat from 1975.
Speaker 2:Okay so, that was the mashup Right. Diana Ross herself was wearing an 18-foot train. Oh, my Embroidered with her family's names. Diana Ross herself was wearing an 18-foot train oh my Embroidered with her family's names. Now these embroidered trains have become a thing, and it's Meghan Markle's fault, in my opinion.
Speaker 3:Was it the wedding dress?
Speaker 2:Yeah opinion, was it the?
Speaker 3:the wedding dress? Yeah, remember she had this like intricately embroidered train with had all 50 states. Uh, in it, didn't it?
Speaker 2:for some. I don't think it was.
Speaker 2:It 50 states somebody did yeah, I don't think it was megan mark, megan markel at her wedding to Prince Harry doing America. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. I don't remember. I know that it had all kinds of symbols special flowers symbolizing certain things, certain things and little. There were little hints about her relationship with harry um and the dress. The dress was pretty awesome, I I've got to say, but the train was not so fab with that dress. Yeah, well, as I'm remembering it right now I don't know, she was in a coach and there was that lunatic preacher. Remember him.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, In.
Speaker 2:Westminster Abbey, yep.
Speaker 3:He looked like he was from Britcom, like from Father Ted or something I know. It was insane.
Speaker 2:The whole wedding was so crazy because you had the Brit side. You know stiff upper lip and all that.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:And Prince Charles and Camilla and everyone. Well, the queen, she was still alive, everyone looking absolutely miserable. And then there was Team African American, which, you know, included African American luminaries right, well, and many of them were Megan's friends, right?
Speaker 3:yeah?
Speaker 2:but it wasn't a group that you normally see at one of these things, that many Americans and that many people of color, and I mean, like Oprah was there and Gayle King was there, well, yeah, that cracks me they're Siamese twins. They are. They joined at the wallet.
Speaker 3:That is very, very funny.
Speaker 2:Well, that's where they're joined. Yeah, um, anyway, met gala surprise performance by stevie wonder and usher okay and uh, it was the influence of black fashion on mainstream couture. Now that is huge.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh yeah, no question.
Speaker 2:So, right, this second I'm wearing a hoodie. I wear a hoodie very often. I love hoodies. That comes from black culture. It's a long way down. I wish I had the speech in front of me that Miranda Priestly gives about the importance of fashion, why it's important, and I wish I had that and the trickle down Right and how it gets to eventually gets to the store shelves From a trickle down Right and how it gets to eventually get to the store shelves.
Speaker 1:From a runway to.
Speaker 2:Target Yep, and I buy a lot of my hoodies at Target actually.
Speaker 3:Anyway, you know they're good for that. They got a lot of them.
Speaker 2:I need to have that. You know how Judge Judy has that letter about pitbulls right up on the lectern.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I need the.
Speaker 3:Oh, you need the fashion, the importance of fashion. Yes Statement ready at all times.
Speaker 2:And because of my dad. I started crying. As soon as I heard that I was like yes, yeah, it's important. By the way, it was Larry Levine's 99th birthday on Saturday.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, that is correct.
Speaker 2:Larry Levine a blessed memory.
Speaker 3:You know, you did say birthday Sorry.
Speaker 2:It was his birthday.
Speaker 3:I know the day he was born. I understand, I know there's also another birthday.
Speaker 2:Well, that's a different birthday, that's yesterday's birthday.
Speaker 3:Really big deal.
Speaker 2:Yaya turned three.
Speaker 3:Our little Yaya, our little dog, our little tiny dog.
Speaker 2:Who's just a baby puppy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she's still very small, but she's now three years old. She's very tall, though Quite tall.
Speaker 2:I can't stand the lifespan. Who was it? Somebody recently I saw on Instagram saying screw space exploration, screw research into, you know, black holes and various other things on the planet and even climate change. Sit down and come up with a way that our dogs live for twice what they live now yeah, or three times what they live now yeah. Or three times what they live now. Yeah, because I refuse to accept the fact that, at age six, our dog, rosie, is a senior-ish middle age.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, and our cats, who are nine, are old, all right.
Speaker 3:I know I don't like it either. I don't like it either. I don't like it one bit.
Speaker 2:Very upsetting, extremely upsetting. Alright, I've got a few.
Speaker 3:So happy birthday, Yaya.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday, yaya, I have to put up her picture.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm going to do just for a second here. I'm going to do some of this.
Speaker 2:We have a song for our little Yaya, we sure do Go little Yaya, go Yaya, the tiny rocket. Go little Yaya, go Yaya, the tiny rocket.
Speaker 1:Go little Yaya go. A whirling blur of light. Go little Yaya go. Could almost fit my pocket. Go Yaya go, go Yaya go.
Speaker 2:She runs and she runs, and she runs and she runs.
Speaker 1:And she runs, and she runs, and she runs. There's a theme here she runs and she runs, and she runs and she runs.
Speaker 3:Yesterday she ran far more than I've ever seen her do in one entire day. She went all through the up in the backyard. She was way the heck up there running back and forth up there. Then we came to the side yard. She was over there. We were out in the woods. She was running like crazy. Then we came back to the house. She started running like crazy in there and then she came inside and started running.
Speaker 2:She was running around in the house. She was just non-stop. She was like it's my birthday tomorrow, Yay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, very excited because they know that they get a boy. They get the treat on their birthday.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we who are usually very stringent with our dogs, give them steak actually filet on their birthdays, and they both get it. That's right, because chas ve shalom that one should.
Speaker 3:Right one get it and not the other Right. No, that would not work. No.
Speaker 2:No, and even the cats sometimes get shrimp.
Speaker 3:And this is not just their birthdays, but their gotcha days, the days that we adopted them.
Speaker 2:We do that as well, so four times a year, yeah, plus special holidays.
Speaker 3:Right, well, you know, you know, yeah, that kind of thing.
Speaker 2:What dog doesn't love Christmas?
Speaker 3:Yeah, anyhow, or corned beef.
Speaker 2:Or St Patrick's Day for that matter. Yeah, so there you go. Our dogs are half Jewish, half Christian.
Speaker 3:Yep. Yeah, the inside half is Jewish.
Speaker 2:That's interesting. I never thought of it that way. Alright, I got a few Instagram things here. First of all, taylor Swift's Jet Now has it's own Instagram. Jet okay, now has its own instagram of course it does now get this. Oh boy, a parody account tracking the swift jets. Every move got 1.2. Now there's a. There's a real account for her jet, yeah, and there's a parody account about it. Gotcha, yeah, the updates that it posted. Okay, leaving Kansas City emotionally burdened. That was one of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, and who doesn't really?
Speaker 2:And here's the other one that I took note of Really, and here's the other one that I took note of Landing in.
Speaker 1:Milan with seven types of cheese on board.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, oh that sounds exactly right. It does yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm thinking I should start a Taylor Swift parody account, because remember last week I was talking about wanting to be a micro influencer true, true, no I want to be uh, I gotta come up with, I gotta come up with something. I need an angle yeah, that's right yeah I don't think it's gonna be a swift angle okay because I'm not that much of a fan. I can't help it, but something.
Speaker 3:Something, maybe a counting crow. We are accepting ideas here, folks. We are.
Speaker 2:Please go to the Facebook group of the Ann Levine show or to the Ann Levine show Instagram or any of the other Ann Levine Show Instagram, even better or any of the other.
Speaker 3:Ann Levine Show things that are out there.
Speaker 2:And let us know your ideas for a good parody account.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not one with parrots, but a parody.
Speaker 2:Oh, thanks for the clarification.
Speaker 3:I've been watching a lot of parrot and cockatoo videos lately, so that's been on my mind.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you were able to let those pixels out.
Speaker 3:Thank you, yeah, me too.
Speaker 2:Okay, here's one of my favorite things. Last week we talked about the guy in Florida that was trying to pay for gas and convenience store items with Monopoly money. This week we've got a Wisconsin man story.
Speaker 3:A cheese head Wow.
Speaker 2:Who's proposing using cheese as legal tender Right on Now, I would. There are things I would trade for a block of cheese, uh-huh, you know all kinds of things really yeah, such as oh dear such as oh dear well um a piggy bank shaped like a pig.
Speaker 3:Oh okay, well, you do have you already have one of those? That's why I'm saying oh, I would give him one for a block of cheese.
Speaker 2:Oh right, yeah, so in Curd we trust Right, and here's my favorite, because AI really has got me and a write-in campaign led to a chatbot named Greg getting sworn in as the ceremonial mayor of a Vermont town.
Speaker 3:Really, oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Greg the robot is now the mayor Right and his policies include and I want to move to this town mandatory siestas.
Speaker 3:Oh, good one.
Speaker 2:And more pickles at town events.
Speaker 3:Okay, you know what I'm on board with Greg. I'm voting for him.
Speaker 2:Greg's my man. Yeah, when is election day?
Speaker 3:uh is it tomorrow? Uh, it's today, the 13th right, I mean, yeah, it's midnight, so it will be later today okay yeah, all over the place, I know in dennis and I know they're uh in brewster and yarmouth and yeah, local elections are happening.
Speaker 2:Well, we gotta go do that voting thing we do.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Alright, now I've got some celebrity dirt bag news Okay, alright. I love celebrity dirt bags.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, kylie Jenner is. Who has? Didn't we speak about her last week? She's got the most Instagram followers of anyone, right?
Speaker 3:One of them. Yeah, she doesn't have the most.
Speaker 2:She's like the fourth, she's four. Instagram has the most.
Speaker 3:Right, exactly.
Speaker 2:And then Kylie Jenner, or whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, she went to Art Basel.
Speaker 3:Okay, and where?
Speaker 2:I'm not sure Florida. I think it was Miami. Okay, and she goes in to the exhibit. Let me look this up, because I think it was Miami.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's the one I know about, because we've had a friend who was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we had a friend who On an exhibition there. Let's see, he had some beautiful things there let's say he had some beautiful things there. Uh, oh, she was travis.
Speaker 3:She was with travis scott yeah, I think that's her husband yeah, so well, they share two children, whatever that mean oh, okay, maybe and this was Art Basel Miami. All right.
Speaker 2:Yep. So she walks into this exhibit and sees this chair and goes love this chair and of course she either took a selfie or had someone take a picture of her sitting on this chair.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Well, it was a $40,000 installation. Oh great, it was a piece of art, great. So Dirtbag Kylie was grabbed, by security, of course she was. And escorted out gently, supposedly. You know God, entitlement doesn't even I mean all right, look a $40,000 chair yawn, yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I can't even.
Speaker 3:I mean it'd have to be like wow, it would have to be like a rocket chair or something. I mean, come on A rocket chair, something it would have to do something.
Speaker 2:Something for celebrities to ride into space. Yeah, I don't know, I got no patience for that.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Honey Badger got no time for that.
Speaker 3:Right, exactly.
Speaker 2:Okay, now Ryan Gosling yeah, yeah, yeah, Dirt bag.
Speaker 3:Birthday twin, you know. Of yours yes, yeah, november 12th.
Speaker 2:Well, he has started a workshop called Plastic Self-Awareness.
Speaker 3:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:No clue what that means.
Speaker 3:Okay, I mean, I have a little bit of an idea.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 3:It's a self-awareness that evolves, that changes. That is flexible not quite fluid, but it is. You can stretch it. It's like plastic. Well, I would say that's more like rubber than I mean plastic, but plastic is often used in that sort of way.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and plastic and elastic actually are often used in the same way. Just you know.
Speaker 2:Well, it's a wellness retreat.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:And so one of the workshops is, and it's called, kennergy.
Speaker 3:Oh, wow, wow. He is really milking that one. What is that? Explain what that is. He was ken in the in the barbie movie.
Speaker 2:So right he's, he's taking that for a ride well, for a literal, literal ride, because one of the workshops is horse girl healing oh well, there you go you know. So horse girl healing yeah, that's where you take energy for a ride, yeah. And then there's plastic self-awareness, toxic positivity through jazzercise Wow that sounds really beastly. Well, it is, and this is. You know, it's for men, or those who identify as men.
Speaker 3:I suppose I was going to say, as soon as you said jazzercise, you just knocked out all of the men I know.
Speaker 2:Well, but it's toxic positivity, Right yeah, through jazzercise. Now, to be fair, I don't know why I want to be fair about any of this. But he is, you know, millennial. Are they millennials? No, what are they now? Gen Z, the 20-somethings, yeah.
Speaker 3:I think so.
Speaker 2:They're into all sorts of weird stuff. Right so Jazzercise, they love retro stuff. Right so Jazzercise, they love retro stuff.
Speaker 3:That is true. I actually saw somebody with a zoot suit. Where did we see that? We saw it on TV the other day.
Speaker 2:Oh, do you mean on Jeopardy?
Speaker 3:No, it wasn't that Isaac guy, it was a full suit with the hat and the whole deal. I can't remember where the heck it was. We saw it, but it was, and it might have been part of something some you know award show or something that was going on.
Speaker 2:Well, it's weird that you mentioned that, because larry levine in his yearbook is called.
Speaker 3:You know how there's most likely to succeed most like right yeah, his was the original zoot suitor really Really Yep Right on, so even way back then he was fashion.
Speaker 2:He was fashion baby he was. So anyone interested in Ryan Gosling's Kennergy Wellness Retreat, just dial 1-800-DIRTBAG.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:All right now.
Speaker 3:Hey, I want to remind people that they're listening to the Ann Levine Show on WOMR and WFMR 92.1 and 91.3 FM and streaming worldwide at WMRorg.
Speaker 2:That was so radio of you. Thank you, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 3:I've actually gotten quite excited by the commercial with the girls doing the delicious dish again.
Speaker 2:Oh, I really appreciate that it's Molly Shannon and Anna Gasteyer.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that was the sweaty balls, one of the funniest things ever on SNL, Yep.
Speaker 3:And they're using that for a commercial for something now I can't remember what but Some insurance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, very funny and I'm glad to hear them back. I know me too. It's scary how, like you were just pointing out something, I had also noticed that Royal Match, which is the most dumbass phone game series of all time. And God help you if you play a phone game, because you're going to get commercials for it every five minutes. Five minutes, yeah, courtney cox and lisa kudrow right doing a commercial are the latest people doing a commercial for that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean uh and courtney cox did not look anything. I didn't recognize her I did I mean I? I knew who it was only because of her proximity well, you're talking about her plastic surgery yes, yeah, I am, it's it's not right.
Speaker 2:I, you know, I used to the mirror and I think, god, I wish I could get these neck flaps removed, or I wish I could get my jowls lifted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I'm making myself sound much worse than I look, I think, but yeah, I got jowls and neck flaps. You know they're in the early stages.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean as soon as you turn 55, you start flapping. Everybody does.
Speaker 2:Yep, and I think that the neck people say it's the back of your hands. I have to say the back of my hands are pristine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, back of my hands look pretty good too, actually.
Speaker 2:But are the most aging. And your neck? Yeah, for me I think it's just the front. Yeah, I'm on neck, I'm team neck, neck flaps yep, I have friends. I have a friend, sean, and she and I send each other almost daily little videos, mini videos of what salad we're eating and our neck flaps Every damn day. Yesterday she had beans, white beans and escarole. That was her salad, oh my god. And yeah, and her neck flaps were. And my friend sean is a beautiful, slim, trim, you know body, body-conscious woman and it didn't matter.
Speaker 3:That's so funny. No, it does not matter, she's in perfect shape, it doesn't matter what you've done all your life You're flapping.
Speaker 2:She hit 55 this year and kaboom, happy birthday. Here are your flaps, wear them in good health.
Speaker 3:Oh boom, you are flapping. Happy birthday. Here are your flaps Wear them in good health.
Speaker 2:Oh God. Well, my third dirtbag story took place right here, oh no, On Martha's Vineyard. Wow, All right. And TikTok caught Ben Affleck by himself, quote solemnly exhaling into a bowl of clam chowder.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:And so hashtag Ben Fleck soup was a huge trend.
Speaker 3:I had no idea. All right, so he's giving a little cool off and people are being weird about it.
Speaker 2:Was the soup too hot or was life too hot? So that's the, of course, his fans, that is really stupid. I'm sorry. Well, of course, his fans, that is really stupid.
Speaker 3:Maybe I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Well, of course it is. Maybe I mean it's a TikTok thing.
Speaker 1:Oh God.
Speaker 2:So why does?
Speaker 3:anybody care. He doesn't even care.
Speaker 2:Now I've got some more local stuff, Provincetown stuff.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right, did it, did it, did it, did it, did it.
Speaker 2:A shark cam caught and this is only in Provincetown people and why we love it. Drag queen swimming with seals. So we had a local paddle boarder. Oh, that is in full wig and lashes was spotted by Noah's live stream. Noah N-O-A-A Right, yeah. And the caption read Shantae, you slay. Also, please exit the SEAL nursery area immediately. Oh, that is very funny. So, yeah, you can go up to P-Town and see drag paddle boarding, okay yeah right, who doesn't want to do that?
Speaker 2:No one. Provincetown is the best, one of the best things on the planet, I gotta say. And speaking of Provincetown and just generally around here, here's how it is it's foggy, it's sunny, it's 40 degrees and it's also 89 degrees. That's correct degrees, that's correct. It's insane spring weather on Cape Cod and the islands. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 3:It's really been a lot of fun, hasn't it?
Speaker 2:Upsea, downsea, one day you've got 68 degrees.
Speaker 3:the next day you've got 45 and thunderstorms and an inch and a half of rain, and the day after that it's nice and sunny again, but it's only 52.
Speaker 2:Everything is busting out Apple, blossoms, lilacs, daffodils. Oh yes, guys.
Speaker 3:So green, I love it.
Speaker 2:And the grass is growing too fast.
Speaker 3:Yeah, way too fast actually.
Speaker 2:I mean truly, it almost needs biweekly mowing Yep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, this year. I don't know why it's growing like it is, but it is going nuts.
Speaker 2:The apple tree is doing stuff it hasn't done in years.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:There are blossoms everywhere. They fall. It looks like snow so beautiful, gorgeous. They fall. It looks like snow so beautiful, gorgeous and I can't breathe.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No pollen everywhere I'm sneezing, I'm coughing, my eyes are schmutzik. It's really's really quite unpleasant.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a lot of that going on. That's one of the trade-offs you know I mean. But for a lot of people it doesn't bother them. It didn't used to bother me, and now I've started to develop a bit of a thing with pollen Damn it.
Speaker 2:I have too. Yeah, I never had anything. Oh, that's what I was going to say. So you get neck flaps, right neck flaps and hay fever.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's all part of aging folks. I don't recommend it. And you have to pee every 10 minutes. Well, it's all part of aging folks, I don't recommend it. And you have to pee every 10 minutes? Well, then, there's that. But hey, what can I say? It's all you know. As my friend Peter would say, it's better than the alternative. It's better than the alternative, and by that he means it's better to have neck flaps and hay fever than to be dead. I mean, that's when he says the alternative. That's what he means.
Speaker 3:Right, and the Kardashians, of course, think the other way. The alternative oh.
Speaker 2:Plastic surgery let's get chopped up. Yeah, I would, as I said, I would have my neck flaps tightened, okay, if I could, and I would also have my eyelids. I would have blepharoplasty. I would have my eyelids lifted, mm-hmm. Freshened, yeah, lifted, freshened, yeah, but I don't got Honey Badger, don't have money for that.
Speaker 3:No, that's a lot of money. Yeah, they don't mess around. Those people want lots and lots. So what are we doing now?
Speaker 2:Well, there's a parade coming and you? Well, we could take Rosie to this parade. There's a parade coming, yes, oh, and you, I don't know? Well, we could take Rosie to this parade. It's the commercial street parade. Deep breath of mildly disinterested dogs.
Speaker 3:Oh, that could be Rosie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, interested dogs. Oh, that could be rosie. Yeah, yeah, so she'd just be walking along. You know, drag queens on paddle boards not really, you know, just like yeah, nothing, nothing all that different how long do we have to walk down here? Yeah, I don't want to buy jewelry. I don't want to buy expensive sculptures. I don't want to mark Jacob's collar. Get me out of here. Yeah come on, and so supposedly there's going to be a jazz band a la New Orleans Funeral type situation.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Walking behind them, the dogs playing trombone. Versions of Beyonce songs.
Speaker 3:Oh, right on. Yeah, that's the way to do it.
Speaker 2:I want to be there. I want to be at every Provincetown event, including Tig Notaro, two shows in August and Fortune Feimster. You are still on my-.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you are on the list, young lady. Angry angry list.
Speaker 2:I was going to say young lady and lady, and then I realized, yeah, compared to us. Yeah, so if your dog won't walk in this parade, just put it in a wagon, or, oh, yes, carry them. Oh, all right, yeah, and have plenty of snacks.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, that would I mean. That's a given anyway, really.
Speaker 2:It really is a given, yeah bring some snacks, come on. Yeah, dogs will do a lot for snacks Sure, a lot. But I keep at home, next to my desk, a black dog tote bag full of snacks for dogs. That's right, healthy.
Speaker 3:They don't know. It's there either, because if they did, they'd.
Speaker 2:No, it's really funny. They think that I'm a magician and that I just put my hand down and ta-da.
Speaker 3:It does seem that way. It's very strange because they don't ever try to get there Chicken jerky.
Speaker 2:Yeah, ta-da, it's a Paul Newman heart-shaped dog biscuit, yay, bacon.
Speaker 3:Oh, bacon-flavored Yum.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, you bought it. Well, yeah See, now I would never buy something bacon-flavored because I immediately think a few things Salt, fat, not kosher in the least.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Now I don't keep kosher.
Speaker 3:All things dogs love, by the way.
Speaker 2:But I'm not a pork person. Yeah, and that is. You know, that is generational, whatever it is Heredity. Generational heredity? Yeah, no, you know like there's generational trauma. Well, in my generational Judaism there's a no pork clause, which has nothing to do with how I was raised. There was bacon, there was pork tenderloin, there was all kinds of treif.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And the other one is shrimp.
Speaker 3:Oh right, yeah, One of my very favorite things, oh right, yeah, one of my very favorite things.
Speaker 2:By the way, our cousins who were here took us to the old Yarmouth Inn for a beautiful dinner in Yarmouth Port, one of our favorite restaurants anywhere, and they had on their menu forever lobster pappardelle.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which was so delicious it was the best thing on the menu is exactly the same, except they got rid of lobster pappardelle and replaced it with lobster crab ravioli.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Blech, don't do that yeah.
Speaker 2:Don't you dare.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so this is your't do that. Yeah, don't you dare. Yeah, so this is your warning. Um, you know about that.
Speaker 2:So I mean, everything was delicious. I had the panko crusted haddock. Um, you had a burger for the first time in I don't know how long.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:And all was delicious. Um one of our cousins had scallops risotto, the other one had. Did he have chicken piccata or sole piccata? I had the sole yeah, which is one of their standbys, as was lobster popA. I'm so infuriated, yeah, infuriated.
Speaker 3:Yes, you certainly are.
Speaker 2:I told the waitress that it was absolutely unacceptable and she needed to tell the owner.
Speaker 3:And she actually told you to tell him yourself.
Speaker 2:But when I went out, when we left, he was no longer at the reception. Dais Right.
Speaker 3:Okay, all right, here we go. It's my turn, please, please. Because, we haven't gotten to the educational part of the show yet and we're almost over. Okay, so we don't want to miss out on this kind of thing. Okay, because this is a heavy duty political news both russia and england have instituted beard taxes what not no?
Speaker 3:not not recently, but they have in in in the, during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, whiskers were all in vogue. So the treasury decided ooh, we got a lot of wars going on, we need some money. We're going to tax facial hair. And they did, oh my God. For many, many years. And in 1698, peter the Great, the great guy that he was, said I am going to civilize these lunatics. And he imposed fees on all of his subjects to cut their beards or pay a fine. Well, how about that?
Speaker 2:That's something that should be put into action right now.
Speaker 3:You know what? I do not disagree with that, yeah.
Speaker 2:My cousins Ann and Mitch, who were here and who just got back from a National Geographic tour of the South Pole. Unbelievable, the pictures, the videos, the whole thing. But we were looking at pictures of their sons. There are a lot of sons in this family. They are all fully bearded. That's like, yeah, cut it out. That's how they all come now I know, that's just part of the thing.
Speaker 2:You hit 30, you start growing that beard or that mustache, the whole facial hair thing. Um, I know that a return to complete clean shavenness is coming back well, here I have.
Speaker 3:I actually have something to tell you about that. Well, tell me. In a paper titled mirror mirror on the Wall the Effect of Time-Spent Grooming on Wages, economists Jayati Das and Stephen DeLoach conclude that men can increase their weekly wages by 6% for every extra 10 minutes they spend a day on grooming. Well, so the more groomed you are, the more you're going to make.
Speaker 2:Well, so if you're sitting there trimming, oiling, combing, waxing all that facial hair, Doing all that stuff, you might end up making some more. I don't want to hear anymore about women and doing their faces. You know the whole the complaints men have had traditionally which are?
Speaker 3:which are what?
Speaker 2:women taking too much time to put themselves together see the quotes. Those are no longer the complaints oh, it's that the complaints are now, that they don't do that enough.
Speaker 3:No, the complaints are that you don't look anything like you do in your picture, because it's all filters and makeup and all that stuff, and when you see someone in person, they don't look anything like that in real life, neither do the men. Well, the men aren't using the filters, oh, no, do the men?
Speaker 2:Well, the men aren't using the filters?
Speaker 3:Oh no, not really.
Speaker 2:Michael, I have two friends, and I won't name them, who will not put a picture anywhere you know, even privately, without first running it through filters.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know a lot of those people too, swimming themselves down Right. I don't know a single guy that does that.
Speaker 2:Okay, I know the guys and when we're off the air.
Speaker 3:Are they straight? Not the two, I'm thinking of Okay, all right, that's just still. I still, you know, I rest my case.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 3:do yeah.
Speaker 2:You rest your case.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think I've made a case.
Speaker 2:All right Out of what.
Speaker 3:Leather Out of whole cloth.
Speaker 2:A leather case. Yeah, yeah, I have.
Speaker 3:Red leather, yellow leather yellow leather.
Speaker 2:Oh, look at you yeah look at you with the uh, the stuff there yeah, the, the, the, the play, backstage, play stuff all. Now there is an Instagram account that is a must-see. It's called the Goddess Boys Must-see, must-see, must see, must see. It's one of the most hilarious, fabulous things I've seen in a long time. The goddess boys okay, now, uh, I'm not sure what that oh, oh am I still here? You're here, oh my God. I say that to myself 20 times a day.
Speaker 3:Am I still here, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, am I still doing this. You are, you are Is this still where I am, it's happening.
Speaker 3:You're doing it and yeah, but you're about not to.
Speaker 2:Well, we got some sad news which I don't enjoy sharing at all. But Michael Bolton has got glioblastoma, which is brain cancer that is virtually insurvivable, which unfortunately, I know from personal experience. It took my niece when she was 34 years old. But Michael Bolton is so extraordinary. This is his song, Beautiful World. And for Michael Bolton, Put a Light On.
Speaker 1:Put a Light On. I'll carry the weight. No mountain is too high. It's never too late. There's always a sunrise. All of our needs, our hopes and our dreams Awaken on an open door. I see a spark of light in the dark. We'll be wiser than before. We got love like we've never been heard. We got lives like we've never been burned and, after all of the lessons we've learned, we're gonna make this a beautiful world, a beautiful world, oh oh, we're gonna make this a beautiful world.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Everything's gonna be much better when we come together. We got a love like we've never been hurt, eyes like we've never been burned and, after all of the lessons we've learned, we're gonna make this. Gonna make this a beautiful world, gonna make this a beautiful world, make this a beautiful world when we come together, when we come together, when we come together. We're gonna make this a beautiful world. When we come together, we're gonna make this a beautiful world. When we come together, we're gonna make this a beautiful world. ©. Transcript Emily Beynon.
