I Came For Oxygen And Got Boat Shoes

A blizzard rolled in the same weekend my lungs gave out (again), and suddenly everything we rely on—power, cell phone reception, hospital routines, even the simple act of getting a meal—buckled. We found ourselves riding the fault line between fear and farce: oxygen levels plunging into the 70s, a CT hunt for answers, and a hospitalist who showed up with a high-pitched certainty and brand-new boat shoes. If you’ve ever felt like a passenger in your own care, you’ll recognize the uneasy mix of tests, contradictions, and the quiet calculation it takes to keep your nerve.

While I tried to breathe, our house went dark. Michael huddled under blankets with the dogs, reading by flashlight while branches cracked outside. Inside the hospital, generators cut us to half power, red outlets glowed like lifeboats, and surgeries stopped cold. The kitchen jammed, the phones rang unanswered, and “non-select” trays landed with a thud—banana, peaches in syrup, and a full-sugar shake for a diabetic. I pushed back, asked for the right insulin, and learned once again that advocacy isn’t rude; it’s survival. Somewhere between the beeping of an alarmed bed and a 4 a.m. dosage debate, a night tech with a brilliant headwrap sang gospel, and the room lifted. Care is clinical; healing is human.

There’s gallows humor too. The PureWick promised dignity and delivered a soaked bed; the fix was plastic sheeting and a no-nonsense diaper that actually worked. Barb, the PCA with the sandpaper voice, narrated the night with Christmas lines and practical grace. We closed with music: Jacob Moon’s layered craft, why tribute shows keep selling out, and why twenty-somethings are lining up for Sinatra. We also held space for loss—names that hurt to say out loud—and a soft goodbye to Neil Sedaka, whose songs thread through our family history.

Press play for a story that moves from oxygen crashes to small mercies, from system failures to the people who keep them running. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a laugh-while-you-cope listen, and leave a review to help others find us. Your voice helps keep this one breathing.

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Transcript

Welcome, Station Mix-Ups, And Context

SPEAKER_04 0:16

Hey everybody. Welcome to the A on the Bean Show. It's Tuesday, March 3rd, 3-3, 2026. And I am joined by Michael over there.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Hello.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

Wow, that was sultry. Oh, thank you. You're welcome. And we're coming to you from WOMR 92.3. No, is that right? 92.3 FM.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

92.1. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

92.1.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Yes. And WFMR 91.3 FM Orleans. And we're streaming worldwide at W O M R G.

SPEAKER_04 1:08

Well, this show will explain to you a little bit about why I'm so confused. Okay, yeah, that's probably a good idea. So weak and so out of it in general. Um, it's been quite a couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Well, and for everyone. Many people may uh may no have noticed we weren't here last week. Well, no one was here last week. The the station also was not here last week for quite a while because all of our power was gone. So that's uh that's kind of how it started.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

Yeah, at 92.1 FM.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 1:55

Improvince too.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Oh, good one.

SPEAKER_04 1:57

W O M R. Right. Yay. Outermost radio. You know, I deserve that applause. I do. Yeah. Bring it, bring it more. I deserve it. I do. And here's why. I if you've been playing along at home, you know that I've been hospitalized, I had been hospitalized.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Right.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

And gave you some delightful stories from the past couple of times. Um, well, from a few specific days that I was in the hospital.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

And lo and behold, what was it the Sunday right before the storm?

SPEAKER_00 2:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

Whatever date that was, February 24th.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Something along. Something like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:00

Um, it was the 23rd, okay. So I had the same problem I've been having. And let me just tell you the problem, because I have no diagnosis at this point.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Right.

SPEAKER_04 3:19

Just a whole lot of symptoms that are making me feel confused, tired, shaky, weak, and out of breath.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Right, yeah, and at uh at times completely unable to breathe. Yeah, it's really it's really nice.

SPEAKER_04 3:40

Well, some of that stuff, the first few things that I mentioned, were exacerbated greatly by being in the hospital.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

In the first place. But the not being able to breathe thing, everyone knows I have lamb, lymphangialia, my dosis, and I've had it since the year 2000 of our Lord uh. Um, I was diagnosed in 02 in the beginning of 02. Um but I didn't become oxygen dependent until when was it?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

2011, 2012, something like that. Where you were completely Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

Right.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Where I was Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

You couldn't not be on oxygen.

SPEAKER_04 4:43

Right. Yeah. So that was twenty oh nine, oh eleven, something around there.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:52

So I've been on oxygen nonstop since then. And uh that's that story. Well, anyway, recently I've been having these things where I suddenly cannot breathe at all, and I can't get my oxygenation. For those of you who don't know, here's a quick lesson. Your oxygenation a hundred percent is a hundred percent, and that's the best. That's as good as it gets. And if you're in the nine nineties, you're fine for the most part. Yeah. Until you slip below ninety-three, and then you have a look. Now, when you get to 88, that's the okay, now your body is starting to be in oxygen starvation.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Right. It it there's not enough pressure there to push the oxygen into your bloodstream. So if you And into your, you know, other capillaries and into your muscles and everything. Yeah, there's not enough.

SPEAKER_04 6:08

And so going down from there, um, it gets increasingly worse pretty quickly. So if you're in the 70s and or in the sixties, it is really hard. You can't really take a step. It is really hard to breathe.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

Right.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

And if it gets lower than that or stays around there, you call the ambulance.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 6:35

So we called the ambulance on that Saturday or that Sunday, not remembering. Um, and I end up in the ER, which is or the E D, as it's people don't say ER anymore, they say E D.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

I don't know why, because you know, all the commercials about E D.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

It's just yeah, it's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

And that's what I think of. I think of erectile dysfunction.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

I do not think of emergency departments. Quite possible. They're synonymous in many ways. I don't know. It could be.

SPEAKER_04 7:13

So I get the once once more thrown into the ED. Now, that particular day was for an ED comparatively quiet, and I did not have to hang out in the hallway or anything of the kind.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Um thankfully, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

They put me right into uh one of those little glass walled rooms, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:47

Yeah, I mean the quote best room you can be in in the ED.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

Right.

SPEAKER_04 7:56

And they started putting me through my paces, and it was a CT with contrast, it was a chest x-ray, it was another chest x-ray, it was 400 blood tests, all the diagnostics they do there. Right. And they thought that I might have, and I'm this is a quote, the tiniest bit of pneumonia.

SPEAKER_01 8:30

Right. They found a like a little what they saw looked like fluid in your lungs. So they're like, okay, but it's not acute, it's not a thing that would actually bring you to the hospital, probably.

SPEAKER_04 8:43

Right. It was a uh traces of fluid.

SPEAKER_01 8:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 8:51

Now, for someone who has limb, this is not crazy. They were looking for pulmonary embolism, they were looking for deep vein thrombosis, yada yada yada yada. None of that. Um, and I could have told them that, but they like to find out for themselves, those people. Right. Well, you know. So you may remember now I went in at eleven thirty a.m.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Yeah. Something something on there.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

Here's one thing I can tell you about the E D. You get in there, doesn't matter what time, you're not getting admitted if you are being admitted until 7 p.m. Right on.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:39

And that's because the hospitalist has to admit you. Now, the hospitalist in this case was a man that we've discussed before. The high-pitched doctor.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Right, yeah. We did talk about him.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

And the high-pitch doctor at seven o'clock, like clockwork, showed up in my room and said, Oh, you are here again. Dr. Heisendike. No, this wasn't Dr. Heisendike. Oh. That's a that's a different doctor.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Oh, the oh, the other one I uh I ended up meeting at the tail end there. Right. Okay, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_03 10:32

No, this is Doctor you have not met yet. He speaks in a very high-pitched voice. And he came in the room and he turned around and looked at me, and he said, Oh Bollywood Mickey Mouse.

The High-Pitched Hospitalist And His Shoes

SPEAKER_04 10:55

You aren't here again. And I'm like, Yeah, dude, I'm here again. And so are you. Right. And he's got the whole huge gray pompadour with, I don't know, he had like Conan level product holding that thing together, a huge gray birthday cake on his head. And then now, and he had on, you know, whatever this horrifying cologne, which I will never forget. Um, and it's like, you know, pungency of the Middle East, it's some sort of Nile swamp fragrance. All right, yeah. Yeah. So um and I need no disrespect by this. It's just what it was. Now, the last time I was in, I noticed, because you couldn't help but notice, that he had like the tiniest feet I've ever seen on a person of his size. I mean, this guy is, I don't know, five, ten, got something of a pot belly. He's not a little tiny guy, but he has little tiny feet. Maybe, yeah. Maybe it's and they've got hooves. Oh, you think he's a centaur? Could be. I don't know. Why? Does the rest of him sound like a centaur?

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Well, I don't I I've never met one, so I can't really say what they're supposed to sound like. Okay. Yeah. Um but you know, the the tiny feet kind of fits.

SPEAKER_04 12:53

Well, well, last time he had on little tiny, shiny black patent leather loafers. Little tiny black pinted leather loafers. Yeah. And it was just, they were perfect, you know. They just like made the whole package, they tied a bow on it, right? This time, and this just about killed me if what I came in with didn't. And the fact that you, Michael, had left by then was good because I would have fallen out if anyone had been in the room with us. He had on spurry topsiders.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 13:46

He was wearing brand new sperry deck shoes.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

He's got his boat shoes waiting for the blizzard.

SPEAKER_04 13:56

Exactly. Okay. With the little laces tie, just so. And well, here's the thing. It's they looked like they were polished. I don't know how to explain it. They weren't shiny, but they were so new.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

Right.

SPEAKER_04 14:18

That it was painful. And I and I'm like, you know, Dr. I know his last name. I'm not gonna say it. Right, okay. Um, yeah, you Dr. Doodles. Doctor tries too hard. Dr. Doodles, those shoes do not go with well, first of all, anything.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Any of that, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:42

Um your white coat, which I think you stole from someone else, and you're actually a psychopath that haunts the ward. Ah. Um, they also don't really go with the fact that we're in the midst of the beginning of a blizzard.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Right. We're about to, they're telling us we're gonna get two feet of snow, perhaps.

SPEAKER_04 15:07

And you know, even though we've only got six inches so far, how are you getting to a vehicle, to a bus stop, or whatever conveyance it is that gets you here?

SPEAKER_01 15:25

No. There and there's like a little hint, like you know, these in case you like to look like the look of a tread.

SPEAKER_04 15:34

You know what? That's it. The message I got from those shoes was uh, it is Sunday, and I am wearing Sunday Couchwood.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

I see. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 15:50

That was that was how it felt.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Like I gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 15:54

And now this guy has on a pressed shirt that looks like he just took it out of the package because, in addition, it it just looked like it had those lines, those folding lines.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 16:10

Um, and his white coat and belted trousers, he's such an anomaly in this place where every single person, whether they're a physician or you know, part of the janitorial staff, is wearing scrubs.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Right. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 16:35

End of story. And it could be all different colors, all different types, but everyone's wearing scrubs. Yeah. Except this doctor who is and then immediately he starts with this.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

Now, Dr. Heisendike, he has said that I will do I will you will be on this medication at twenty milligrams and this medication at five milligrams.

SPEAKER_04 17:14

Uh-huh. And I'm like, uh-huh. Yes, that's what he just told me too.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Well, I disagree. I disagree with this decision. Therefore, I would be changing it.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Well, you know, that was that was one of the most fun parts of this whole thing was the um the internal chess game over who's deciding what your new medications are.

SPEAKER_04 17:44

And it wasn't even chess, it was like it was like candy land.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:52

It was just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

So um he says, Well, we will be admitting you, but I will always remember you because you have glasses, and your hat is so funny.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 18:14

So my glasses and my hat are very distinctive. And everyone everyone comments on your glasses. Comments on my glasses, and everyone in that hospital, and sometimes on my hat, everyone in that hospital, hospital knows exactly what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

That's right, and where to get them.

SPEAKER_04 18:37

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

So there you go.

Barb Arrives And Alarm-Bed Chaos

SPEAKER_04 18:40

In fact, one of the nurses came in and said, Oh, where did you get those glasses? And I said, online, and in in exact synchronicity, she said with me, Z Loule.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 19:01

She knew immediately, and she said, Oh, I have so many frames from there, I don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Yeah, if you if you don't know what Z Loule is, it's uh it's a place to it's got a lot of very cool glasses.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

That's right. Yeah. So uh and very inexpensive.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty nice, and they've stayed relatively inexpensive.

SPEAKER_04 19:25

All of us who are Dave Otays um of Zelul have multiple frames.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

And we think we've paid nothing. Well, yeah, because you get multiple frames because you can afford it. Right. Yeah. Over and over. Right. Yes. So I she had no glasses on, and I said, What do you mean? Where are your glasses? She said, They're at the desk. I said, if you don't get back in here and show them to me before I am sent to my room, I'll be very disappointed. That's right. You better bring them on over. Well, just as they're starting to wheel me out, she ran up to me with her shade, with her glasses on, with her specks on, and I knew exactly which ones, where they had come from the whole thing. So, um, what year? I I don't know. It was like I totally I was familiar with the frames. So anyway. Um now I went up to my room, and this woman named Barb came into my room.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Okay. All right. Hi, Barb. Whoever you are.

SPEAKER_04 21:00

Bob.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Bob.

SPEAKER_03 21:02

Hi, I'm Bob. Oh, hi, Bob. I'm your PCA. Oh, that's nice to meet you.

SPEAKER_04 21:08

I am not exaggerating this voice at all. This woman never went a day without smoking at least two packs of cigarettes.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

And maybe chewing on a cigar. Bob. I'm Bob.

SPEAKER_04 21:28

Yeah, I'm not gonna be here that long. Cause the storm's coming. Yeah. And I'm going and with I'm driving to Vermont with my girlfriend. And I'm like, okay, now Barb is, I don't know, somewhere between fifty and eighty.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

And um And her voice is twice that.

SPEAKER_04 21:56

Well, that's why you can't, it's very difficult to tell how. This woman is. Yeah. Um, so this is what happens. So after wheeling me in, she accidentally whacks her elbow on the door. Don't do it, Bob. And she says, Oh, joy, joy to the world. And I'm like, that's awesome. Yes. Um, so and she's kind of I'm laughing at her this whole time. I mean, we're definitely, you know, we're laughing with each other. Then she's telling me, and all the nurses and the PCAs were telling me that in the room across the hall from me was a 102-year-old woman with an alarmed bed. And what that means is if you're in an alarmed bed, that if you go to get out of the bed when there's not a nurse present, an alarm goes off. Yeah. And it is the most annoying thing.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

And they come running because something's gonna fall down.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

Series of loud beeps. Yeah. So you suddenly beep, beep, beep, and it doesn't stop until a nurse runs in there and turns the alarm off. And she kept, so the nurse would run in. And this is what you would hear.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

I I'm falling. I'm falling.

SPEAKER_04 23:51

And the nurse would say, No, you're not.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

You're sitting on the edge of your bed.

SPEAKER_04 23:56

You're sitting on the edge of your bed. You tried to get out by yourself. Please push the red button to call one of us when you want to get out. Now, do you want to get up? No. Okay. Well, let's tuck you back in and then I don't know, maybe five minutes later.

unknown 24:21

Beep!

Blackout At Home: Books, Dogs, Cold

SPEAKER_04 24:22

He's falling beep, beep, I'm falling. Oh no. I'm falling. Well that kept going on and on. And so Barb hears that and says, Christ, jingle bells all night. Now yeah. As the snowstorm is starting to really build up.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 24:55

Um, and everyone's looking out the windows. The the room's beautiful, I gotta say, and the windows are beautiful. There's a gorgeous view. Um in this case of the parking lot, um, but then Lewis Bay and all that and is gorgeous in the distance. Yeah. Um, but we're looking at the parking lot where the lights are on, seeing it all, you know, pile up. And so Barb says to me, you know, I'm driving to Vermont with my girlfriend. I gotta get away from the nonsense here. My husband is driving me nuts. And she says, and here's the kicker. I drove a Yukon for twenty years. And finally last year, I said, What do I need this for? We don't have w we don't have winter here anymore. So in May I traded it in for a Volkswagen Passat. Oh no. Now look at ice came, she says. Now look at this crap. Merry Christmas, my ass. Now, what I would like to point out, and I was taking notes during this entire visit to the hospital, is that she started with joy to the world when she hit her album.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Ended with a Merry Christmas, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:43

Jingle bells all night when the woman's thing kept going off. And then Merry Christmas, my ass. How about that? Barb is all Christmas. She is the time. She is so Christmassy. Ugh, the most amazing thing. Oh, that's hilarious. Should we take a break? Do you have a thing to say?

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Well, you know, I just uh yeah, I mean, it's not really a taking a break kind of thing, but it's uh, you know, sort of while you're in the hospital and snow is starting up.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Uh-huh.

PureWick Misadventure And Bedside Reality

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Um things are okay at home for a little bit. Uh until the middle of the night. When it all quit. And the power went out. We had it quite a thing here. Uh-huh. Um, I mean, not not we had a lot of branches and stuff fall on our property, and a couple trees have fallen down, but nothing has really done any great damage or even really blocked the driveway. But next rode over trees down all over the place and power out for three days. That was uh and it was cold. So uh dogs and I um spent a lot of time huddled under the blankets. And uh reading uh reading books by flashlight. So that was good. So what books did you read? Well, I read The Watchmen by uh John Altman and then I started reading um Heaven of Mercury by Brad Watson. I'm not done with that one yet, but I'm still I'm still doing that.

SPEAKER_04 28:48

And are you loving it?

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Oh yeah, yeah. I mean the first one uh the Watchmen was uh is a spy book. Uh it was very cool, it was very fast-paced. Um and and it was good. I I there's a lot of ingenious ideas and stuff going on in there. But and then to go from that to um Mercury, Mississippi and into Brad's world, uh, such a very, very different thing, and so much more so much more, I don't know, rich.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

Well, it's an incredible novel, yeah, and I can't recommend it highly enough. So if you're looking for a book, that's the book. Yes. Heaven of Mercury by Brad Watson.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

You bet.

SPEAKER_04 29:46

All right. Let's discuss the pure wick.

SPEAKER_03 30:02

This is a device.

SPEAKER_04 30:09

Oh boy, yeah. This is a device that was invented by a terrible misogynist. And I don't a hundred percent know how to describe it. Uh-huh. But uh what I was told in the ER is that because I desaturated so much and my numbers went down into the 70s, the first time I got up.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Yeah, they well, they got very worried that uh your doing anything was going to cause you a great deal of harm. So they're like, you know what, we don't really want you to move. Um if you can uh just not move, that would be okay. Right. If you can move, let's do it as little as possible.

SPEAKER_04 31:09

So we're not gonna let you get up anymore to to pee.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Yeah, no, no, can do, can't do it.

SPEAKER_04 31:21

Um sorry, you guys, I am sick. Yeah. And so I'm I'm coughing. What do you want from me? You're coughing, yeah. Hey, yeah, check the halls.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Uh so the pure wick. Oh my god. Yeah, so that's a device that uh eliminates the bed the need for um someplace.

SPEAKER_04 31:56

A bed pan, right. Now, bedpans are are cursed. Yep. Um no one likes dealing with them. No, it's a horrible thing. Not the patient and certainly not nurses, etc. Yeah. So this nurse comes in and says, Would you like to try a pure wick? And I said, What is that? And she said, Well, it looks like a big tampon. Yeah. Um, but what we do is we place it near the urethra. Right, we situate it there, and it's attached to a hose which suction the suction on. Yeah. And it suctions the urine out of the pure wick. So essentially you just pee on this thing, and then this suction automatically kicks in uh and takes it through a tube across you into a container on the wall above you. Yeah. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Boy.

SPEAKER_04 33:20

So they put this thing.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

No need for anything else.

SPEAKER_04 33:23

And at first I'm like, and when I say these things to these people, they have no sense of humor. I said, that sounds disgusting. And she looked at me as though, you know, I had pushed her kid on the playground. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

I was there for this, yes. So I'm like, Oh, right. Yeah, she was. Some of these nurses were offended easily.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

Yeah, I mean, they have no sense of humor. And she sort of said, Well, I can understand why it might sound unappealing, but the pure wick, I assure you, yada, yada, yada. And I said, Well, I need to pee, and if that's what I gotta do, that's what I'll do.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

Right.

SPEAKER_04 34:20

So she goes and gets this thing. She pulls, she says, You're gonna have to drop trout. Yeah. She said those words.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

Those words, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:30

Now, when you're lying down on a Gurney, that's kind of hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 34:35

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:35

And it wasn't you're gonna have to drop trout.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

It's not really dropping at that point. Gravity has nothing to do with it.

SPEAKER_04 34:42

I'm gonna have to rip your jeans off you, is what that meant. She said, and then pull your underwear down. I'm gonna put this thing between your legs, pull your underwear up, and whenever you feel like it, just pee.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:02

Now, um, so this is the sensation. You the sensation is, and I'm not wrong, I felt as though I was just gonna pee myself. Right, yeah, exactly. So the time came when it was like, okay, we gotta go, no more waiting. I just went and this thing started suctioning, which is the weirdest sensation. And I can't imagine Michael sitting there experiencing this uh situation.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

Yeah, see, I wouldn't have that. They uh you know they they don't bother with external things in that situation, it I'd just be catheterized.

SPEAKER_04 35:54

Oh, y I guarantee you they've come up with something better for men that does not include internal catheterization. I guarantee you. Although I have been through that, I have two, but this is new, and this is for ladies. Right, yeah. Well, so sh so another PA comes in and says, How did that go? I said, Well, um, as you can see, there's some pee in the container, but I could swear that I just peed all over myself. And so she takes a look, and yes, that is what happened.

SPEAKER_01 36:40

That is exactly what happened, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:42

My underwear and the bed were soaked. So she says, Oh God, who did this? Yeah and I said, I don't know. Whoever the pure wick salesperson did this. Um she says, Hold on, I'll take care of this. Well, she comes in with two layers of plastic sheeting, and I kid you not, a diaper with the sides that tape on.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_04 37:23

A diaper, a huge freaking diaper. Puts the pure wick back in. She says, Okay, now you're all set. Oh, yeah. I'm like, now I'm all set? Why did she just do this initially? Forget the pure wick.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Right.

SPEAKER_04 37:42

And I could have just peed all over the diaper and the plastic sheet.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Yeah, it would have been all done.

SPEAKER_04 37:48

It was horrifying.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

Oh my god. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:51

So um, yeah, so you can pee all over yourself right in the bed. That's so nice. It was delightful. Yeah. While this thing is going, oh God, it was so great.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

I know, I'm sorry. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:07

Well, that brings me to this is endless, people.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

I don't think I'm gonna get to well, you might not get to every say everything, so um, you know. Well, you can try.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

Well, I didn't um, you know, the whole food thing and then the storm losing power.

SPEAKER_00 38:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:30

But I wanted to talk about the bald soprano. La cantatri chove named Morgiana.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:43

So now this is now, I don't know, three o'clock in the morning of that same night. So I've been taken. I I peed myself in the ER, in the ED, then they take me up to my room, then I have Bob of Christmas, future, past, and present, um, who was uh hanging out with me for a while, and then um the bald soprano came in. So that was two or three o'clock in the morning. Now the bald soprano was grouchy as hell.

SPEAKER_01 39:27

I see.

SPEAKER_04 39:28

And she was a big, large, dark-skinned woman, and she was essentially bald, but she had this wrap around her head, and it was very colorful and flamboyant, and it didn't go with the rest of her at all, but that didn't matter. She was grouchy, and I was very uh determined, and this is this is me in the hospital the whole time. I drive people nuts. I am determined for none of them to be in a bad mood.

SPEAKER_00 40:12

Right.

SPEAKER_04 40:13

So she's futzing around in my room and she's going she's like humming, hum singing this this tune. I don't know what it is, and I say, Morgiana, what a beautiful voice you have, what a lovely soprano. And she says, Oh, you're kidding me. And I said, I should have said, Yes, I am. Let's just let's just go as we were.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

Yeah, let's go with that.

Non-Select Meals And The Blood Sugar Battle

SPEAKER_04 40:59

And then the nurse walked in. Well, no, then I said, um, let me hear you sing, you know, for real.

SPEAKER_01 41:08

Oh yeah. And she let loose on you.

SPEAKER_04 41:11

And she let loose with uh that old favorite, God's not dead.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

God's not dead. I feel him in my hand. I feel him in my thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 41:36

Wait, I feel him all over my body. And I'm like, okay. I don't know what's with those lyrics.

SPEAKER_01 41:49

And also I couldn't pay any attention to the lyrics. God's dead. My ears were bleeding.

SPEAKER_04 41:54

God's not dead, he's alive. I feel him in my head, I feel him in my feet, I feel him all over my body. Okay. Okay, those are the lyrics.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

All right, yeah, I didn't get any of that.

SPEAKER_04 42:07

Now, fortunately, a nurse walked in just then and I said to Morjana, come back before you leave. I want to hear that beautiful soprano again. Yeah. Well, she left. Look, she was six feet off the ground, walking six feet off the ground.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:28

She felt so good and so do that with these people.

SPEAKER_01 42:31

You've you find something that uh to talk about with them that just makes them. I always love the fact that they came to visit you.

SPEAKER_04 42:41

So now a couple of days go by, and I am how much time do we have?

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Not much. I mean, we have a we have a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 42:55

Well, could I need some 15 minutes? Okay. All right, I'm gonna talk about the fact that not only did our home lose heat, power, and our generator broke.

SPEAKER_01 43:10

Yeah, so two generators broke.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

Not only was Michael freezing cold with our four pets and trying to keep it all together here in the home. Um, the hospital, whoop, that's yeah, yeah. The hospital was in the same strait.

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Right, they lost power too running on generators.

SPEAKER_04 43:37

And when it's running on generator, it's half power.

SPEAKER_01 43:42

Right. So anything non essential, and skeleton crew because of the snow.

SPEAKER_04 43:48

Well, a lot of people couldn't get to the hospital.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:53

But what what happens when you're on generator on half power. Is that only essential things are electrified. So this announcement goes out that only the red outlets above the beds are working. So if you have a charger or whatever plugged into an outlet, you have to move it to a red outlet. Um, this caused a great deal of confusion. The woman in the alarm bed started falling all over the place, and you hear people yelling up and down the hallway, and suddenly I'm in one flew over the cuckoo's nest. Just a bunch of nuts um confused, yelling, oh my gosh. And they also canceled all surgeries.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

Right.

SPEAKER_04 44:59

There was uh it were cascading problems, but uh we come to the next day, and the way it works with meals in this hospital is you pick up the phone and you dial a number and you tell them what you would like.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Yeah. So it's an odd way to do it, you know. The uh uh it used to be, and you were talking reminiscing with somebody there about the fact that, you know, in the morning they would give you a uh checklist and you could pick things for for the whole day on there. That's right. And uh but they don't do that anymore. You have yeah, you have to talk to them on the phone, which is seems so inefficient.

SPEAKER_04 45:52

Well, what I found out that is even more inefficient is that the people that you're talking to are at remote locations.

SPEAKER_00 46:04

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_04 46:05

A lot of them work from home, and then they put in the orders through whatever their system and it goes to the kitchen in the hospital. Right. The dumbest thing in the world.

SPEAKER_01 46:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

So anyway, uh I get on the phone and I'm at first feeling like, oh, I don't care, you know, if I have breakfast and when I have breakfast. But then I call and after 45 minutes on hold, I called the front desk, and she, the woman who answered there says, Well, there's a lot of people, uh, a lot of people dialing in. You better get on it, call them back and don't lose your place. And I'm like, Yeah, okay. What? Long story short, I calling, I'm calling, and I put it, I'm putting it, it's on hold. I put it down. You know, I had lost faith at that point. And a nurse comes in and I said, Do you have any idea what's going on with the kitchen? Because they are not answering. She said, Let me see if I can find out. She comes back and said, Oh, it's a non select. And what that means is they're gonna bring you whatever they want.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

Right, whatever they've got in front of them, okay, this is what we're bringing to that gate. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 47:47

So I am a undiabetic. Right, yeah, and this is what I end up getting. A banana, a thing of full sugar and shore.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

Right, yep. Got all those vitamins though, you know.

SPEAKER_04 48:11

Uh peaches and syrup, a little cup of that. And here's my favorite. This came with all the non-select meals. Iced tea.

SPEAKER_00 48:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 48:28

Unsweetened room temperature iced tea.

SPEAKER_01 48:33

Very nice.

SPEAKER_04 48:34

Which is actually something that I don't mind particularly, but it was so weird. Now, of course, I eat a banana and an insure, which has 22 grams of sugar, and my blood sugar.

SPEAKER_01 48:52

And banana typically has 27, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 48:54

Right. And uh my blood sugar's going through the roof, which of course it did because I wear a sensor. And so I've got the nurse, and I'm trying to get her to do something about giving me some insulin. Right, and the right amount. So she comes in and says, We're gonna give you one unit.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 49:22

Now, that's just a joke.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Yeah. Why give you anything, really?

SPEAKER_04 49:27

You know, giving someone with oh, my blood sugar was 350, which is the danger zone, and they're giving me one unit. Now, my sliding scale says eight to ten units for 350. Yeah. And I'm telling her this, and she's like, Well, I have to call the doctor. So she wakes the doctor up at four o'clock in the morning. Um, because, oh, I didn't. Yes, it was a beautiful move. I didn't, by the way, I did not eat that nonsense. Uh-huh. And in the next show, I'll have to tell you what happened with the other food things um when they just shut down the kitchen.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

Yeah, yeah, because they did that too.

Music Notes, Jacob Moon, And Tribute Trends

SPEAKER_04 50:21

But that day I figured, ugh, I'm not eating this all this sugar on this tray. I'm waiting for lunch. Lunch never came for anyone in the hospital.

SPEAKER_00 50:33

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:34

So you could imagine the the people were rioting in the halls. Um, and I just thought, well, whatever, I'll deal with this. I'll wait till tonight. And it was then at night that I finally said, okay, I'm actually hungry. I'm having some.

SPEAKER_01 50:56

Somebody better bring me some food.

SPEAKER_04 50:58

Somebody better bring me some insulin because I'm gonna have the insure, the banana, and the peaches and syrup. Right. That's what you put in front of me, that's what I'm having. And then immediately I ring for someone to come in and check my blood sugar. They're like, it's 350, looking at me as though I had, you know, done something like been sneaking in sleeves of Oreos or something. Or what were the pixie sticks? Remember those? You know, they're like mad at me like I did something wrong. Um anyway, then this whole thing with waking up the doctor, da-da-da-da-da. They finally come in and gave me eight units. And I finally felt better, went to sleep, and then the next day happened. Now I'm thinking at this point, I should maybe leave the next day for next week. What are you thinking?

SPEAKER_01 52:05

Uh, yeah, I mean, we're we're getting close to the end here, so yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:10

Always, always useful information. Um, I want to mention that we will be doing a Jacob Moon show soon. Um, we'll have an interview with him, play a couple of his songs, and talk to him about new things he's doing in music that are really fascinating. And for our uh music, musicanistas out there, um, you will absolutely love this. I'll also be telling you about crazy stuff that's been happening with my cousin Eric Dybowski, who lives in Sydney and is now considered one of the greatest mixers in the world. And he is right now mixing uh Dua Lipa, um Michelle and Deggy, Michelle and Deggy and Cello, Shaka Khan, um NXS is remixing some stuff, the new Weezer album.

SPEAKER_00 53:22

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:23

I mean, it's like incredible. Every day someone is getting in touch with him to oh, Cynthia Revo.

SPEAKER_01 53:36

Now you know, here's some other music stuff, right? Uh I wanted to tell people because there's some tickets still available at the Melody Tent for John Mullaney. Not a musical guy, but we got tickets and then they were sold out immediately. They had to add new shows. So, but uh Three Dog Knights come in to the Melody Tent. The uh Gary Puckett, the Cow Sills, Joe Bonnamasa, Joe Bonnamassa, Little River Band, Judy Collins, Allison Krause. It's gonna be cool. There's a Lake Street Dive. Oh, sold. Sorry, that one's sold out. First one to sell out, actually.

Obituaries And A Farewell To Neil Sedaka

SPEAKER_04 54:22

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go on StubHub for that one because that happens to be one of my favorite bands. Yeah. So, yes, the Melody Tent.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Little Feet, Pure Prairie League. It's just there's a lot of stuff happening.

SPEAKER_04 54:35

The Melody Tent is featuring again this summer. Um, lots of people, some of whom are dead, some of whom are alive, right? And some of whom are yacht rock.

SPEAKER_01 54:49

And we're let's see, what's the there's uh there's a guy, these guys, what do they call themselves? The yachtly crew. Oh my god, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 55:02

So I don't understand yacht rock, I don't understand the the pull of it. I don't understand people loving to go to these things. I did find out something from Jacob Moon, which I didn't know, which is that there's this whole thing with um boomers and Gen X and Generation Jones, that there's a massive craving for music of the 70s.

SPEAKER_00 55:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 55:40

And so all of these kind of tribute things to people like James Taylor, Carol King, right, Jackson Brown.

SPEAKER_01 55:54

You just named several uh that Jacob does entire shows in you know in tribute to, that Jacob Moon does.

SPEAKER_04 56:02

Well, the reason he does them, um, I mean, he does some gigs of that, but he also does some gigs of his original music. Which I'm obsessed by. But these gigs are all um motivated, it's because there he sells tons of TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 56:24

Right, because the audience wants to hear it. Yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_04 56:27

So there well, it's interesting. There's this whole audience, there's this whole thing going on that I didn't know about. All I knew about was that 20 somethings are standing on lines to go to Frank Sinatra evenings.

SPEAKER_01 56:44

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:46

Could you explain that a little bit? Uh no.

SPEAKER_01 56:50

No, I can't. I really can't. I mean, I understand. Okay, so what it is that the attraction to the music. The music is good. The music has always been good. But the fact that uh, you know, they they skip all the all the generations of music in between, I I don't know. I don't I don't know how they ended up, you know, in that particular sort of area. You know. I would think 80s, you know, that would be a big thing, but I guess that's coming, you know, come around again in uh another thirty years.

SPEAKER_04 57:27

Well, I I want to mention that um there was a culling in the last couple of weeks. Um many, many people were taken from us, and I'd like to mention some of them because there are so many to mention. We lost James Vanderbeek, and uh he was forty-eight, and we lost Robert Duval, we lost the Reverend Jesse Jackson, which is so hard to believe. Brad Arnold, Lamont McLeore. Let's see, I'm looking at a list here. Diane Ladd, I don't know if we mentioned her.

SPEAKER_01 58:35

No.

SPEAKER_04 58:36

Uh but most shocking of all to me and heartbreaking is Neil Sadaka who just passed away uh sometime in the last six days or so. And he was, of course, a chart-topping singer and songwriter. Um but the reason I have a particular love for him is that my brother Jeff toured with him in Japan in the 70s. Uh, so I've always had an extra soft spot. For Neil Sadaka, please put a light on.