Is This How It Ends?
Is This How It Ends?
Potato Salad with Raisins: A Thanksgiving Special
This week on Is This How It Ends?, we’re serving up a Thanksgiving special packed with everything from heartfelt tributes to hilarious hot takes. 🦃✨
We kick off by honoring our beloved furry mascot, Enzi T’Challa Green, with touching stories and pet parent reflections. Then, it’s all chaos as we break down the Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul fight (spoiler: Iron Mike is giving Aluminum Foil vibes), dive into the absurdity of dating shows, and roast the wild world of Pop the Balloon—yes, even seniors are bringing the drama.
The episode gets real as we discuss politics, allyship, and the frustrating landscape of reproductive rights.
Of course, our show wouldn’t be complete without some shady astrology! With Sagittarius season in full swing, we take a playful look at their bold (and sometimes chaotic) life choices—yes, we’re talking about those impulsive crypto investments.
Finally, we close on a grateful note, sharing what we’re thankful for this year, and set the stage for a season full of laughs, insight, and a little bit of mess.
🎙️ Buckle up—this episode is a whirlwind of heartfelt moments, fiery opinions, and more tangents than you can count (seriously, we are all over the place)!
If You Like the Vibe, Like, Comment, and Subscribe!
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfhjVf12RbjUJZ7I5hX1BYw
iG: @IsThisHowItEndsPodcast
X: @izthishowitendz
Tik Tok: isthishowitendspo
Email: howitendspod@gmail.com
Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app to help more people find the show.
Hey y'all and welcome to our podcast. Is this how it ends? I'm Nell, I'm so All right, and we're here to talk about everything from politics to conspiracy theories, aliens, a little bit of gossip, shady astrology. It's girl talk with a twist that you don't want to miss, so let's get into it, y'all, oh y'all. A couple of church announcements um, let's give it up for soaps. New haircut in color, y'all good. Other service announcements sad news we're dedicating this episode to our sort of mascot, enzi Malik T'Challa Green. Technically, we have two cats that are part of our family Sir Nugget, right, and also Enzi, and he's made a couple of appearances and I put him down a couple of weeks ago and it's been really sad and I miss them a lot and I'm totally jealous of people and their fur babies. Um, so, yeah, this is dedicated to him.
Soph:Yes, I hope that there's a big scratch post in the sky all right, y'all tell me what I should have led with that like what happened, yeah so he had been acting funny for a while.
Nele:Um, he was like hiding under the bed and just like or he would just like chill out and like the tub, and normally he would. When I come home, he greets me at the door. He wasn't doing that and so, all right, something's going on with him, and like even how he was eating, like he's a fat cat and he just wasn't really eating as he should. So I was going to take him to the vet, but then that night he started throwing up blood and just he was just very like weak, like could barely normally I have to fight to put him in the carrier, but he was just kind of like I can't, like it was just very hard. I took him to the emergency vet and they said that he had stomach cancer and it was pretty far gone and he was just he was in a lot of pain, like he was just like yowling, like he was in pain.
Soph:And so it was just in a lot of pain.
Nele:He was just like yowling, like he was in pain. It's kind of best to put him down. Yeah, it's tough to watch.
Soph:Well, I hope you can watch your heel about new Enzi or Enzi Jr.
Nele:Look, I already have a name picked out, okay, marquavius Denzel Washington, green Girl. Yes, love it, love it out, okay.
Soph:marquavius denzel, washington green girl love it.
Nele:Yes, I already have a name. I'm gonna give myself a year, you know, but um to grieve but, yeah, pets are dope.
Nele:They're therapeutic and there definitely been times where I've been sad, and most of the time he likes to be to himself, but he'll come and he'll cuddle, like he just knows, and so he's been my little companion this whole time and I love bringing him up in conversations and everyone has just been so dope just in terms of like, condolences and outpouring. Yeah, because everyone knows how much I love him it's like lounging on the bed, like yes, like, look, my boy was showing off all the goods.
Nele:Okay, just, we have a saying in south carolina it's called, or in the south called, taking up taking somebody's picture, like when your legs are open, like, and so he was definitely always showing off the goods, taking people's pictures, okay, you know. So, yes, rip my boy. Yes, all right, y'all, it's time to get into this hot mess. So, not going to lie, originally I had an idea of talking about conspiracy theory and Thanksgiving, but I'm changing my tune and because I'm getting a little hotep-ish, the hotep is rising and I'm trying to quell the spirit. Okay, trying to quell the spirit. So this was something old. Um, you said we should talk about it anyway. So did you watch the fight between mike tyson and jake paul?
Soph:so there are certain things I will not, um, I will not participate in. There are certain things I will not condone or support, and that was one of them. Like I'm not watching this shit and I do not.
Nele:Look, soph, I didn't even really know it was happening. And then I saw it on my favorite gossip website Lipstick Alley Shouts out to Lipstick Alley, and I was like what in the hell is this? And so, you know, I'm here for the mess, which is something I want to work on in the new year, you know. But until then, I'm just going to participate in it. So, for those of you who don't know, there was a boxing match between Jake Paul, who is a famous YouTuber, and Mike Tyson. That took place on November 16th at the AT&T Stadium in Arlington, texas. Jake Paul is 27, and Mike Tyson is a smooth 58. And so Jake Paul won the fight by a unanimous decision after eight rounds.
Nele:Um, now, this was hard to watch for, like, different reasons. All right, I said I wasn't gonna be a whole tip, but just you know, for a little bit. Um, it was hard to watch because in what world would it be okay for a 27 year old to fight a 58 year old? I don't just because he was, you know, they called him iron mike. You know, mike tyson, iron mike, he was giving aluminum foil, mike at this point I don't care how much you train or whatever time catches up with us all.
Nele:I was just. I didn't want to see someone. I don't like Mike Tyson as a person. However, in terms of what he's done for boxing, that cannot be denied. What he's accomplished, that cannot be denied. And to watch him get knocked down by this yokel who just leaves been boxing for the past few years, it's hard to watch. I don't feel like your legacy, but mike, mike ty said he don't care about his legacy and in the end he got 20 million dollars for it and he lasted in the ring. I don't know if there was. There was an agreement because there were certain rules. There couldn't be any knockouts, you know. So there are certain rules, I guess to keep some dignity intact. We also saw Mike Tyson's bare ass. I was not expecting that. So he was in the locker room and there was a guy interviewing him. I found out later that was his son. So he gives the guy a kiss on the cheek and I guess he's wearing like a jockstrap and so he turns around and it was just like ass.
Soph:I was like am.
Nele:I seeing correctly?
Soph:Oh my god, I like that he's giving his son a job, by the way, yeah, I like that.
Nele:I like that. The whole thing was ridiculous. It was a spectacle. Mike Tyson kept doing this thing where he was biting his glove and I thought maybe his mouth guard was falling out. But he says he does that because he has an oral fixation. He did bite off Evander Holyfield's ear part of his ear so maybe I guess he was like he didn't want temptation so he would bite off his glove. That's a suckling lobe. I'm just.
Soph:No $20 million.
Nele:But you know, there's Jake Paul. He's won most of his fights but he'll fight like box people that aren't necessarily boxers or they're retired. And then, from what I read, the actual boxer that he boxed, he lost the fight. So it doesn't mean anything unless you're boxing these people in their prime. So what are you getting off of? Conquering people that are past their peak in the boxing ring? I just felt it was a little bit of a humiliation ritual. I have certain views behind it, um, but I was definitely just like this the whole time, like I can't. I don't want to see mike tyson being knocked down by this man. Honestly, um, yeah, it was a hot mess, but what I will say is that the undercard was actually really good. Um, well, some of them were really good.
Nele:The women had a fight. There was a a box between taylor and serrano, serrano and serrano was definitely robbed. But these when I tell you so, these women fought like serrano had this big like these women, I tell you, these women fought like Serrano had this big Cut over her eye and she just kept Going and going and Taylor was headbutting her ass, and so Taylor technically Won. However, serrano's coach definitely made it known that Taylor's big ass head. He was like she's a sweet woman with a big head. He basically said that. No, he actually said that and basically said that this was, you know, robbed. But they definitely that was the highlight of the night that fight yeah.
Soph:I didn't watch it. I'm glad I didn't watch it. I didn't even like look at I saw some commentary, but not really. I know this was not the first time he approached Mike Tyson about it. You know I'm not going to feel bad about Mike Tyson for getting $20 million for getting his ass. I'm sure Mike doesn't care. You know he doesn't care about his legacy. I can't feel for these people. If they're willing to do this and I need us in 2025. No, I need you in 2025. Support that like it, just like it gets you. Like it gets you riled up right, like it's like your body. Yeah, what it does to you? I don't think it's.
Nele:Hopefully yeah, people know what they're doing, they know the optics of it and even though it's supposed to be such a boxing match like just a boxing match, I definitely think is representative of certain things. There was a point after, when the fight was over, um, jake paul's brother I think his name is logan Logan Paul I think they said something about like oh, would you be willing to fight Mike, or whatever, and he says I'd kill him. And then Mike is just like not responding to it and it's like this is a joke, like he could have been like, oh, you know, like yeah, let's, let's go, mike, but you're talking about you're gonna kill him in the ring, just in terms of what we deem as entertainment. I think has this has to be questioned right?
Nele:because in certain cases, for certain people, we are being entertained by people's humiliation it happens in, particularly in these dating shows, which at one point I stopped watching them because I don't believe that they benefit Black women in particular. But just watching people being mistreated in a romantic context and actually some of the stuff that you see is stuff that actually happens, I find it actually quite triggering in terms of watching these dating shows and it's like why are we looking at someone being mistreated? You know, as entertainment, and so that says a lot about us as well.
Soph:Yeah it um. A lot of. A lot of what we watch is about being people being mistreated. It's about laughing at their misfortune and be like look at that dumb bitch. It's why a reality show is the way it is and it's why they keep flipping that stuff out. And these producers they purposely do that because they know what people want to see. It's like you can't have a host on show and catch people. We want to see the raw, we want to see the humiliation, we want to see people at their lowest. I don't know if that makes us feel a little bit better about our lives.
Soph:I remember watching the first episode of Love is Blind and I was like this is really cool. I watched the first episode of Love is Blind and I was like, oh, this is really cool, I like the concept. But then I didn't watch beyond that because I don't normally watch reality shows. I haven't watched them since. I Love New York and I was like I Love New York was just heavy on my psyche. It was just like, oh my God, I can't go off this thing. I just need to go Flavor, flav, whatever. I'm like I can't do this anymore. But I did watch Love is Blind the first season, but then I heard from other seasons it's been really rough. It's been more about that humiliation aspect, right, how do we draw people in? It seems like the way to hook people is to be mean, yeah, the first season of Love is Blind.
Nele:I think everyone enjoyed it, especially Lauren and Cameron's relationship. It definitely seemed genuine and seeing people being vulnerable, like actually you wanted them to win but after that it's just really gone downhill and just to see, you know, people go a lot of them go on there for fame or whatever. But there's definitely particularly women and men who have some childhood traumas that like haven't been worked out and you see it like on the screen, you see in your relationships, you see how particularly these women are striving for acceptance from these men who don't want them but will use whatever they can get from them. It's very triggering and to ultimately to go down the aisle and then someone can possibly say no to you and humiliate you in front of everybody. People have come, have dressed up to be a part of this and you're going to be rejected, not in front of your family and friends and millions of people. Who thinks of this? Why?
Soph:Because they know what we like. Yeah, they think we're playing shit okay, good girl, it was ending Like the Pop the Balloon show like there would be a couple, couple, and I laughed and I'm just like this is awful, like I I don't want it again. Like you see, like these beautiful women go on there and they just get like, like they just get torn down, even the men, right it's it's bad.
Nele:I used to really be into those pop the balloon shows and, um, particularly the ones because it's interesting, like just the terminology that they use or whatever and there was one where there was this young woman who she had like a little like sundress, like she was going on a little picnic or whatever, and so the guys are picking her apart. They said she looked like a single mother I don't know what that means Like she just looked like very old fashioned or whatever. And then she started to cry and she was like this is the only dress like I could afford. I took the bus over here and so the men felt bad but instead of like saying something reassuring to her or being like okay, we're dicks. Like they gave her money. I guess they sent her money Like.
Soph:First of all, there's just a. There's just a lot like just the self-respect. I know the dating pool is trash, trash, soph Trash. I don't want to comment much on it because I'm not in it. I don't want to judge nobody, I just like a bus and that's the only dress. Is this how you want to spend your money? Maybe dating? I know you've seen other episodes. Is this how you want to spend your money? Maybe dating? I know you've seen other episodes Like this. Is how you want to spend your money?
Nele:Dating, first of all, the people, anyone that goes on that show. You're just questionable. I will never sign up for you to tell me the reasons why you don't like me. If you don't like me, bye, that is it. You don't need to have a whole dissertation, a whole thesis with a PowerPoint as to why you don't like me, and so I just feel if you can't afford it, then maybe your priority shouldn't be dating, especially none of these dusty people up on the show.
Soph:Here's the thing. I think there's a way to do it that could be decent, because I've seen like clips it's wholesome, right. I'm like, oh, this is cool, but then no one wants. No one wants to watch. We don't want to watch Wholesome, we don't want that. We want you to tell this girl that she looks like a hooker you know, we want to watch the woman who goes on there. She has like five kids and the youngest one is like months old and she's on this dating show which is wild what.
Soph:It's wild like it's gotta be made up. I hope it's scripted. I hope it's wild Like it's got to be made up. I hope it's scripted.
Nele:I hope it's all scripted and like these women are getting paid, because if you're putting yourself through this, yeah, maybe some kind of humiliation kink, I don't know, but I don't need anybody directly telling me why they do not like me. But apparently this is what people do. I'm back in these dating east streets and it is just awful okay remind me.
Soph:Is it always? Is it always the women that are on the line for these men? No, no they switch it too okay yeah so the men and the women like both both I've seen and both, and they tend to be, it's very superficial. Like this guy came on, he was uh, he liked anime no, you know my theory about that he was just different in his style and he was just, you know he was.
Soph:He made some really good points, you know, and at first the women were like then they're like, oh, you know, maybe I don't know, but I just I, I there's a way for any of these to be like really wholesome and like really bringing people together. And you could bet people too right, but they purposely you bet those who would have the most con and I've seen like the most beautiful women on there and like turn them down.
Nele:It's like like they'll be picking. Oh, I don't like the shade of beige on your toes.
Soph:If you don't get out my face?
Nele:absolutely not, and I think it's funny because there have been people that have been like really nice and sweet about why they rejected people. I've seen it on both ends where like there's a way to go about it and being as ethical as possible it can be.
Soph:but then they encourage you to like say more right, it's like yeah, it's like they're egging you to like go that extra step yeah, you know, but and I think the people that kind of have their stuff together, they just have a.
Nele:If you're kind of have their stuff together, they just have a. If you're kind of healthy, you're not going to find what you need on that show. Yeah, and there was this one clip I saw where they did it with, like I guess it's like the elderly version of it and child. This one woman came out and she had her walker on and they were like pop, pop, pop pop. I was like y'all old as hell, but sis, didn't even try. Okay, you could have blinged out the walker a little bit, put a little swipe of lipstick, do a little scarf something. She just came out in a sweatshirt with the walker and was like here I am, sis, she wasn't trying to sell it, so it got popped, okay. Then this other guy came out and all the ladies were like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And he was like damn, he's like I pay your rent. I was like see, he got straight to the point. Otis, don't play. He said I will pay your rent.
Soph:Oh, my God, okay, whenever I see those shows and I see the amount of likes they get and just how popular they are, there's no hope for us.
Nele:There is absolutely no hope. We are trash.
Soph:Basura no, shut this whole shit away.
Nele:It's so sad, it's so sad, sad I had to take a in terms of evaluating. I mean, I go through this where I do go through moments where I go through a purge, but I am ashamed to admit I used to watch zeus network and, um, what zeus is? Okay. So zeus is a network. Um, zeus Network, and it explains what Zeus is. So Zeus is a network that is headed by Lemuel Plummer why do I know this name Anyway?
Nele:And so they have actually different a whole bunch of shows, but they're known for their trashy reality shows, such as Jocelyn's Cabaret, the Baddies or whatever, and the premise of the shows, like Baddies, is basically these women that are very trashy and wear clothes from Rainbow. They all talk about getting the bag. I'm getting the bag. What's the bag? A trash bag to just for you to step in? I don't understand. Like you just drink, you show up. Oh so bad girls club, okay. So I guess they changed the name. Actually, the, the one of the producers was on the bad girls club. I remember natalie nunn. I run, la, I run, oh my God, she's ahead of it, and it is just very wild because at least in the bad girls club they had activities. Maybe a therapist would come in and work out their issues. Now these girls just drink, half naked, go to a club and then beat each other up.
Soph:And I feel like the women always end up losing out, like they always end up looking the worst, like I don't.
Nele:It's just like where's the, where's the dignity? And particularly with the jocelyn's cabaret where she chooses these women, for I guess she does like a tour for a show and it's like a cabaret show. So you show them at least there's an activity, so you see them practicing and getting ready to perform or whatever, and you can tell like these, all these women a lot of them were like sex workers, strippers or whatever that they've definitely experienced some trauma. And jocelyn who's experienced a lot of trauma. You would think like, hey, let me take these women under my wing and nurture them as best as you can, but you acting like a pimp to these women, you know, like you're being abusive to them as well. And because these women think they're going to get fame from this, they're just so hungry and starved for guidance, love and affection that they're willing to like, pimp themselves out and just be abused.
Nele:It's very hard to watch. I can't watch this. These are broken women. No one with any modicum of self-esteem would be on a show like this. They think this is an opportunity for them. It's really sad. A lot of them have really tough stories and an opportunity for them. It's really sad. A lot of them, have really tough stories and you feel for them and it's sad that this woman who's putting this on you would think she's gone through this, and her.
Soph:And there are women who they've gone through stuff and their motto is to help others. But a lot of times you see people who they've gone through the trauma and that's all they know. They bring others into it and they just continue it. I know we like to throw the phrase out that mental health is really a problem. I think it's deeper than that.
Nele:It is a spiritual turmoil that is happening. It's not even in this realm in terms of what is happening with us. We are lost as a people as a whole. We are just lost.
Soph:There's so much coming at you. It's the music, it's the media. It's like nothing, for the stuff that wants to help the others that do not, it drowns all of that.
Nele:Yeah, it's not enough positivity to drown out the negativity, and we tend to gravitate more towards the negative.
Soph:Sadly.
Nele:Yeah, definitely. So, yeah, let us know in the comments what you thought about the Tyson fight. Yeah, all right, y'all. So we're going to segue into. We decided we were going to actually talk about this and this was actually inspired by an experience that I had today and no shouts out to this man if he is watching, but I'm going to keep it as general as possible. So I'm out here in these dating E streets and I try not to talk about politics too much because I just don't have a lot of patience for the back and forth. But having a podcast, we're not a podcast, that is a political podcast, but we do talk about politics, and so I definitely make sure to plug in our podcast. Like, hey, you think I'm cute, you can see this face. You can see another cute face too. I mean, she's married, but you can see this face. You can see another cute face too. I mean, she's married, but you can see her face too. Two for one, okay, so check out our podcast. Yes, right, so we gonna advertise, alright, and just saying it's a good opener. Guys like, hey, you're a podcaster, what is it about Linktree? Check it out. Make sure you get on the youtube, like, comment and subscribe if you like the vibe anyway.
Nele:So I was talking to this guy um, he's a white jewish guy and, um, he checked out the podcast and that's where it went left. I mean, things are going all right, but that's where it went left and I was just kind of shocked at his views, because he's actually a social worker but he voted for Trump basically, and he said why he voted for Trump was due to Trump's stance on Israel, but he had issues with me because I said that America doesn't like Black people. I don't know what there is to challenge. I have a. My theory is that there's no way that you can have a competent, educated woman that has been in the political sphere versus Trump and you vote for, for Trump, and so there has to be other reasons, because I don't even know what Trump stands for. I don't know what his platform is.
Soph:He has concepts of a plan.
Nele:Concepts of a plan Exactly, and so it definitely went left. But there was just a lack of awareness. Basically, this person did not care about anybody else except for, basically, white, jewish men and can I just?
Soph:go ahead. What is biden's stance for the current administration stance on israel? They're just sending them money, like whatever they need. It's like yes, how far can I bend? Yeah, I don't even understand why. That's the reasoning. So I've literally there. There's there are no guardrails for israel. It's whatever they want is what they're getting yeah, I've literally seen commercials promoting israel.
Nele:So and in their beliefs. So it's very wild to me that that is what is driving you. When Israel's over here and you're here, you're here. What about what happens here? Um, but you know, there's a lot of reading the subtext, there's a lot of things that you're saying without saying it and to me, to think that me, as a Black woman, how you, you're the one that liked me, how do you see a Black woman with locks talking here and you have issues about diversity and racism and inclusion. You're a social worker.
Soph:But how can you be pro-protecting a country that you're a citizen of the United States but you're so for this country? That's not in the US, right, and our stance on it. But the people who are here, that they're saying they need help, right, like there's. There are issues that are happening here. You don't care about that, you only care about something that's, and you can care about both, but clearly you don't.
Nele:But my thing is Trump is not even for you. You're a social worker. You're a social worker. I make more money than you. Trump don't care about you. And so what does Trump represent? It is what Trump represents. Trump is a brand. There's nothing behind it I love that.
Soph:He is a brand like. He's a brand like brand for white america, yeah, like white men have the best pr and it's imperialism.
Nele:Like everywhere around the world, darker people are oppressed based off of their proximity to whiteness. The further you are, the more oppressed you are. That's anywhere you go. That's outside of being Black. So what are you voting for here?
Nele:I don't understand the stance that certain marginalized people getting rights and access to things. What does that take away from you? These are things you already have. But does that mean you actually have to compete? If now we're all on the same playing field, you don't have a leg up anymore and I think that's what people are trying to hold on to. But I just don't like to debate, but if you do have some kind of platform.
Nele:You've seen the comments on tiktok, maybe coming from me. On tiktok, like people feel the need to challenge your views and to me you can't challenge why you don't recognize the humanity and rights that people should have. No, I'm not going to argue like you're arguing why certain people should be mistreated and not have rights, and I just don't. I don't. I think it's stupid to do that honestly. And so with this post trump well, not even post trump is soon to be trump era again like we're going to be encountering these people, and how do we do this? And if you are someone that is an ally, what does that look like? What does allyship look like? It's?
Soph:tough, right. Like you can vote for how you vote, but you know you're about politics, sort of tearing people apart and I mean it's true, right. It's sort of like you know who do you choose to be friends with, like when you want to work for a company, like, what companies do you want to work for? They have the same values, right, and I think when it comes to politics we can say that, like you know, if you voted a certain way, you don't have my same values. Like you know, we want to talk about allyship. I don't want you painting a street a certain way. I don't want you wearing a certain color or something to show support. I need, like actual. I need actual. I need actions, right.
Soph:If you vote for someone who promotes divisive rhetoric who you know they want to restrict women's reproductive rights, they want to push anti-immigration policies or oppose, you know, dei initiatives and opportunities for marginalized communities, you know it's difficult to reconcile that action with true allyship. You know there's a lot he's against. That's when you hear about what he's against that. When you hear about what he's against, he's really against people who are not of the majority. Like he's really against people who are not white. You know people who don't look like him and we don't want to say that, right Cause we're like oh, we voted for Obama or someone. Someone commented I would have voted for um, for Candace Owens, yes, cause she, she says the same faithful shit that you say Same thing, blackface.
Soph:Next, yeah, to claim allyship while supporting leaders who want to harm these groups. To me, that's not an ally, it's just there's no consistency between your values and behaviors. We tend to want to consistency between you know, your values and behaviors, like we tend to want to. We vote based on fear, you know. There's this, you know. Or women's right, you know, because it's like oh well, the Democrats, their main thing was like on abortion, which it wasn't right, which it wasn't, but when you think about reproductive rights and how it's tied to women's rights, like it's really critical. You know we don't make it easy for women to want to have kids. Childcare is expensive.
Nele:Girl, girl, that is my thing, right, you, the way you have it set up, that's just how that. Oh, women are emotional and men are more logical. When women are looking around seeing the lay of the land, looking at this economy, and it's like, absolutely not, where's the IUD Get out of my face, we're not doing this. And then men are like, oh, but what about the babies, or whatever? What about childcare? Childcare is the cost of tuition.
Soph:And if it doesn't work out, guess who? It falls on some women they have a true partnership. I, you know, I'm lucky. I have a true partnership, but not all women do so. The bulk of all of that falls in. They got to work right. They come home. They got to take care of the babies. You get pregnant. You lose out on promotions. You know you lose out on jobs. You know, when we have babies, sometimes we need to go back to work within 12 weeks. We're not even healed.
Soph:There's so much that impact us and our lives are paused right. And if we're in an abusive relationship, it impacts our ability to. There's so much tied into reproductive rights that we want to think it's just straight up abortion. How about making access to just reproductive care easy, like you know, hospitals or just pills? Like they just want to annihilate all of that. You know, like you don't really care about us. You know so if I'm having, if in some of these states, if my baby could possibly kill me, they're like fuck, you have this baby and we'll see what happens. You know, like the goddess.
Nele:Like, and so, to your point, even like certain things in terms of, like, closing the wage gap right, because if some of us are going to be single mothers right, that's a reality I need to be able to make enough to support this child, and so you're not making it easy. And so women, whatever power that we have in terms of closing our legs, like we're just not going to do it. We're not going to have these kids and instead of being like let's come to the drawing board and figure out what we can do to encourage it, you just want to threaten women, you want to make it harder. You're not doing anything to be appealing. The men are unsexy as hell. Like we just don't want it anymore.
Soph:We do not. But then they want us right. They want us to have these kids. They want us to have these kids. Why Labor shortages? Boomers are retiring. There are fewer people to take jobs. Tied to that, the consumer base Fewer. Babies need fewer people to consume.
Nele:We need to fuel the army, we need to populate the army.
Soph:What's in it for us. We're no longer okay with it being well. This is go forth and appropriate. As God said, we don't care about that. We care about our own health. We care about not being under the thumb of some man who can control us because, hey, now we're pregnant and where are we going to go? They should learn from Japan. Japan is having a crisis right now. Right, in terms of their birth rate is dropping. It dropped significantly. So they're doing all these things to get women to want to have babies, get people to want to start families, but then, on the other hand, like their work culture is not conducive. It's crazy. Like, like honestly, you know women could do whatever they want. Like you could, you could. You could work and raise a family. Personally, as someone who's done that, if I could do it over, I don't want to work and have a family. I don't want to do it over. We're fed this thing where women could do it. No, we cannot.
Nele:No, absolutely not. There's this woman I worked with. She basically came back to the job with an umbilical cord hanging out. Man, why is this?
Soph:It should not be this way, but we feed women this story and we've always done it for everything. Like you can do everything, because we've always done everything, we'll keep the house, we'll work, we'll do this, we'll do that. And if I had to go back, whether it's me or my spouse, someone is staying home with these kids I'm not cutting like a whole paycheck. It's to chalk it like it's to chalk it like. It's just so wild to me it is.
Nele:It is absolutely crazy and again, instead of two incomes to just to barely afford to have a kid. So instead of like again, making changes to encourage you, keep on putting things to like, stop women from escaping right the no fault divorce. And now you want to get women when they're younger, haven't lived life and don't know any better. So some states are lowering the age of consent.
Soph:How are you trying to lower the age of consent? And you're doing everything to put these kids in danger, the same people who are like, oh, all this grooming is happening, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, let's reduce the age of consent. Some oh, let's reduce the age of consent. It's disgusting. Some states don't even have an age of consent, as long as your parents approve of it. But we want to complain about these other countries that they don't have women's rights or they do this to their. We're not too far from there. I mean, we're not the extreme, but we're slowly getting there.
Nele:In covert ways it's happening. I am very scared for the future of young women.
Soph:And you know what's crazy to me If you are a young woman and you go to a doctor and say you want to burn your tubes or tie your tubes, they will not do it. They will not do it. But if you are a man and you say the same shit, they will not do it. But if you are a man and you say the same shit, gladly, yep, like I just don't understand it. So I can't say I don't want to have kids, you won't do it. But a man could say he doesn't want to have kids.
Nele:No, I have an age and you're like okay so I, I have an iud, right, but it was. I had to try three times. Two times it was with black male doctors, right, and they there were some concerns about puncture in the uterine wall or whatever. But they were like, have you had kids yet, you know? And I was like no, whatever, and so they wouldn't service me. So it wasn't until this um, white woman who was at my primary doctor. She was moving to this, this other place, and I was like, yeah, I wanted to get an ID, but I was having issues. And she was like, yeah, male doctors sometimes are like that, male dinos are like that. She was like you know, go to this place and you'll be fine. And it was a, it's a women centered clinic and I got it done and that was that. But I tried twice before and male and male doctors wouldn't do it for me.
Soph:Yes, maybe I'll regret it in the future, but I can't come back and sue you. It's my body.
Nele:Yeah, it's my choice. Why are you taking away my choice?
Soph:It's like you don't want us to have abortions, you want to deny us access to all of these things, but when we want to be proactive about it, you're like we can't help you either. Yeah, there's just roadblocks for us either way. So it's just to me you don't really care about us. You just care about what we can produce and what it means for society as a whole, and it's like I'm part of society. What about me?
Nele:Yeah, and to your point, it's just a level of, I guess, apathy. If it's not me, if it doesn't affect me directly, then I don't care about you. And what if we all thought that way? I think, particularly Black women. We fight the fight for everyone, for a lot of people, and if we win, it opens the doors for others as well. But I think when it comes to you know, others' plight, marginalized people's plight, the majority or the ones that are in power, it has nothing to do with them, so they don't care. And basically, that guy that I was telling you about when I was making points about women's rights, he's like I have no skin in the game, you know, when it comes to that. But you have skin in Israel and your skin is here in Crown Heights. It don't make any sense. Does he not have any women in his life? I?
Nele:guess not you have no nieces, you don't have any cousins, you don't have any female friends. What if you have a daughter?
Soph:How does that not? Some of them I think a lot of. Sometimes what we don't see is they might have issues like on a high level, they might, oh, that's kind of, that's kind of fucked up. They're also like, well, it won't happen to me, or have it not to impact me. Like there's a lot of women who vote for Trump, right, and they think, well, if this happens to me, I have the means to go around it, like this won't impact me, like I and that's what it is right. You sort of it reminds you of. This might be a bad analogy, but Chris Rock had this standup where you know he was like you know how Black women are in the club dancing to like these crazy songs, like you know.
Nele:Oh yeah.
Soph:Flap with a dick, flap with a dick. And not only I was dancing as well. He ain't talking about me, right?
Nele:I can dance to this, so it's kind of like Flap it with a dick, flap it with a dick.
Soph:Right. So it's like, well, this doesn't impact me, so I'm gonna be fine, and that's how we think Like I'm going to be fine, so I don't need to worry about that. What I need to worry about, like, is this and this, because everything else I'm going to be okay. Because, if you think about it, a lot of these, some of these women, I mean, until it happens to them, they'll be like oh shit, you know a with underage women.
Nele:Talk about it.
Soph:And then they're going to get knocked up and like, oh shit, because I'm sure a lot of them have paid for some abortions under the table, definitely. So I mean, but again, right, they have power, they have connections. You know a lot of these rules. It's rules for thee, not for me.
Nele:So I guess they can do that. Yeah, definitely, it's. It's rules for thee, not for me, so I guess they can do that. Yeah, definitely, I just um, it's very scary to me that people are just so apathetic and they just can't think outside themselves and they can't think of the good of the whole. Versus me, I, we all need to survive, but you don't have to step on anyone's head in order for that to happen, and it just concerns me and I can never.
Nele:You know, you hear about people that are talking about you know the post-election, how people are not friends with certain people anymore, or maybe they're like your spouse not your spouse, but maybe your boyfriend or whatever a girlfriend that you're seeing and at first I was like that's a little bit extreme, you know. However, I totally understand why, Because to me, what bothers me the most is that people trying to justify why people should be treated poorly or trying to justify why certain people should have rights. So if you're dealing with me and you know I'm a black woman, right, I'm marginalized in certain ways yes, I have privilege in certain ways, but also I've been marginalized in certain ways as well and you're saying because of the things that I can't change and I deserve not to have a chance at life, I deserve not to have access. It is wrong.
Soph:You don't see my humanity, you know and when it comes to people, when government starts to chip away at your right, they don't stop at just one group. Mm, hmm, continue going. There's this poem that I really like. It's called First they Came for Me it's the Holocaust Memorial Day Trust.
Soph:First they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the socialists and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me. So I mean, I know I like to say like this we're all trash, but honestly, like we're all in this together, like no one is immune, once they start chipping away at those things, they keep going. They keep going because there are people who are in power and for them to remain in power we have to be downtrodden, we have to be illiterate, we just have to be so exhausted by everything. It's the only way to keep us divided and keep people divided through hate.
Soph:You keep people divided by saying, hey, these immigrants, they're your enemies, these others, they're your enemies. I don't know if you saw Wicked when he said the best way to bring people together is making sure they have someone else to hate the other. And that's one way to bring people together. Immigrants were that. They're doing all. They're stealing our jobs. They're doing this.
Nele:They're doing that. Side note, I did not see Wicked. I'm not going to pay to see Wicked Now. I have seen the Broadway play and it was excellent. However, I cannot stand Cynthia Erivo, and so, yeah, she's an asshole and she says some disparaging things about african-americans. Meanwhile, she likes to play african-americans. I do not support that. You will not get my money, and so maybe if it comes on cable, I will watch it, but I've seen the play and that's good enough for me. Fuck cynthia revo.
Soph:Okay, I have strong feelings't like her, honestly that's the way it should be If you don't support something, you don't pay your good money for it. I did not know that. I did know there was, like a while ago there was like this thing with like British actors and the way they talked about certain, you know, african American actors, and to me that's like what.
Nele:I just feel you're a tool of white supremacy. If you think that you're better than me because you have an accent, get out of here. I don't care. I don't care, but you want to be. You want to play Harriet Tubman. I do not approve. My ancestors do not approve Play some British people. Go across the pond?
Soph:I don't care.
Nele:She'll snatch up anything. She wants to play Aretha Franklin, but you want to talk about Black people having a ghetto accent. Get out my face. I didn't know that. Yes, I think a lot. There's some people that are in the know because it happened like a long time ago, but no, that's the way you feel. But she's always the token one that they're like putting up. And Cynthia Erivo can sing yes, she can. However, is devoid of a certain soul, and I'm sure I can find someone in bedside that can sing just as well Next.
Soph:So Juni turned 40 this weekend. We saw Wicked on Broadway and he loves it. He listens to the soundtrack all the time. It's really good, so part of his celebration was to see Wicked. My favorite all-time soundtrack is Aida the robes. I get chills every time, let me tell you Heather Headley.
Nele:Now I don't know if you remember this is a total sidebar, but at one point Toni Braxton was in Aida. Now I love Toni's voice, but I just feel a little bit too sultry. It's what? Wait, aida, aida, I just don't see like Heather. Heather gave me I don't know if I even saw Heather Headley do it, but it was so good that I got the soundtrack, like at the, I got the CD. I got the CD at the show because it was so good. So, it was definitely one of my favorite.
Soph:It was my first Broadway play so Fabian was into like Broadway plays and doing that stuff so he he cultured me a bit. Let me upgrade you a little bit, girl. But yeah, it was so like Dance of the Robes girl. Every time I hear it and it's just. I love music that just not only sounds good, it clutches at you and like the words, you're like, oh my god.
Nele:Like you, just like you know I'm getting getting old. So now the tears start flowing like thug tears. Okay, I hear something beautiful, even if the weather's beautiful, I'm like I know today is a god like I just be like just beautiful music for people to think and create and to create something that moves people. You know, my favorite artist is stevie wonder, and I got to see him in concert. Yeah, and I think that man has a um, a song for every emotion, yeah. So even the chord progressions, what he uses, it just it gives me tingles. I guess it's like the asmr of it all, like it's just this is like what all Like. It's just like ooh, what's going on.
Soph:It's so amazing, and it doesn't even matter what genre they're. You know they sing One of them. Here's this album that I really enjoy. Now, you know me, I'm a heathen, I'm not religious at all yeah. Mahalia Jackson. Is that her name? Mahalia Mahalia Jackson Is that her name Mahalia Mahalia. Jackson. There's this album that I have of hers. I came across her music and I downloaded it. I was like, oh my God, this woman Girl. She goes like Okay, we digress.
Nele:Sorry, we digress. Yes, yeah. A lot of people I know saw Wicked and everyone got my speech. I'm sorry if I was a little bit too intense y'all, but I do not like Cynthia.
Soph:Erivo, if there's something you're against, there's a way to show that you're against it, even if you don't think it has an impact. If enough people did it, then if I knew about that, then I might have been like I know it's your 40th day, but yeah, what's her name? What's her name?
Nele:Ariana Grande.
Soph:Yeah, she was actually funny in it. I know people have their beats with her and she's just the whole hot mess in the house.
Nele:She is. She's a problematic princess, but I'm kind of here for her. I mean both the vocals, cynthia and Ariana great vocals, I'm sure.
Soph:I did cry.
Nele:I'm sure the vocals were vocaling, so I did go to the chat GPT about how to be a better ally, and this is for us too, because there's other marginalized groups that maybe we're not a part of but to your point that you talked about, um, performative allyship, right, like posting a black square or like buying a t-shirt, like no one cares about that when really empathy and understanding and putting action into words and not dismissing people's experiences, maybe that's where you can start. So, um, I did um have some tips, so one of them is educate yourself, so learn about marginalized communities and systemic issues and policies impacting them. Um, and beware of your own biases and privilege and how they affect your perspective, which is really important. Again, how we talked about. Just because it isn't you or impacting you directly, um doesn't mean it doesn't matter, you know, um.
Nele:Another one is engage in conversations. Now, this is where I have a problem, because I'm getting upset, people be bothered, people be pissing me off, and then they want to come for the smoke and I just don't want to do this, but I block you. You still want to send me this whole ass thesis after I blocked you. Then you want to come people who come on my tiktok when I'm just rapping about waltz, like. So I don't want to engage in conversation with stupidity, but I'm going to learn to be open-minded.
Nele:So speak out against racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia and other forms of discrimination in your personal circles and practice active listening with those who have different experiences or perspectives, seeking to understand rather than win arguments. So I think that's important because you can have a not every stance needs to be challenged and I think if you have a strong view, people want to challenge you. But just because I state it doesn't mean it's up for us to debate Our podcast, isn't? We don't debate on this podcast. These are the views. If it aligns with you, it aligns with you. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I mean we'll take the engagement either way. If you hate Wash, hate cop, I'm here for the hate. I'm like kendrick the gemini right, I'm kendrick tomorrow.
Nele:Okay, when it comes to the podcast, we'll do this, but yeah, um, another one is show up, attend protest rallies and events that advocate for justice and equality. Um, volunteer or donate with organizations fighting for civil rights, immigrants rights, environmental justice or other causes that you care about, and be present in your local communities to support grassroots movements. So there are things that you can do, right, um, for use your privilege. Amplify the voices of those directly affected by oppressive policies without speaking over them. Um, if you're in a position of privilege, challenge policies or systems that marginalize others in your workplace, school and social settings, and I can attest to this.
Nele:I've definitely had a white man vouch for me when I needed someone to stand up for me, because they were trying to hear from this Black woman, and that was someone that used, you know, whatever power they had to assist and advocate for inclusive policies and practices wherever you have influence. And the last one is support marginalized communities, patronized business owned by women, lgbtq individuals and people of color. Support individuals and marginalized communities emotionally, financially or through advocacy, and build relationships based on trust and respect, rather than transactional solidarity. I like that transactional solidarity. That's a good point.
Soph:I agree with all of that, but I think active listening is one of the things I would stress, because a lot of times, as we're listening, we are already forming a rebuttal to what you just said. Just listen, right, like I don't have to agree with you, but I can listen to what you're saying without being disrespectful, without, like you know, forming a rebuttal of like. Why?
Nele:you're wrong. You're exactly right because, again, if you're listening to respond, and again, because we don't experience, maybe we don't see it we tend to, um, not believe people experiences. We tend to deny them, minimize things that have happened to them. And to me it's like what do you get out of that? By saying, hey, your experience is not your own. What you're experiencing is your imagination is very gaslighting and it makes you not even want to share what's going on, and particularly the people that are oppressed. I think a lot of us are encouraged to kind of shut up and take it, and if we talk about our experiences, we're whining and, yeah, just listen. That's a start.
Soph:I can seek to be a better ally as well, and I'm working on that Each of us, we can be part of an out group, but there are times we're part of an in group and when we are part of that in group, you know there are ways to leverage that to make sure others are included always.
Nele:So so moral of the story be fly, be an ally. I just made that up, hey bars. So y'all, um, because thanksgiving is up, I'm not going to be hotep, we're not going to be hoteptress, we're going to talk about what we're thankful for. First of all, soph, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Soph:So I am driving to my cousin's house, so she's hosting. Her and her family are hosting, which I'm really grateful for. It's not a long drive, so I don't really have to cook I mean, I'll probably help her clean but I'm really excited and it's her first time hosting. She's young, so it'll be cool. She has a young family, so it's going to be cool. What are your plans?
Nele:I will be in Bali or en route To Bali. Yes, I'm leaving on Wednesday, so I don't know what the equivalent is. I'm going to see if I can find some turkey on.
Soph:The final turkey. You got to be on that beach with a drink. And whatever they eat out there In Bali, that's Indonesia, right? Yes, whatever they eat out there, bali, that's Indonesia. Right, it's Indonesia. Yes. Whatever they eat out there, girl, just part of it, yes.
Nele:All of it? Yes, so, in the spirit, we're going to talk about what we're thankful for. You want to go first, soph?
Soph:I'm thankful for this. You know, election aside, this was like a really good year for me. There were things that I kind of wanted to do that I did. It was just it was a good year, Like. I think everything that happened work-wise was good. Personal was good, you know, we had some really good family trips, couple trips, so we're all healthy relatively About to say.
Soph:I mean physically, physically right, my oldest plays volleyball, so we're always seeing a specialist about some ache, but nothing crazy. It's all generally, all generally minor. So yeah, what are you grateful for?
Nele:first of all, I'm grateful for this podcast.
Nele:Yeah, like this is our 14th episode and, as someone who has tried two other podcasts before, this is the farthest we've ever gone. So I'm grateful for this podcast. I've really enjoyed it and I'm definitely looking forward to what we do in 2025. So I'm grateful for that, I'm grateful for shelter, I'm grateful for my job and, most of all, I'm grateful for my job and most of all, I'm grateful for my friends. I just have dope people in my life president company included, of course and just this year has just taught me to focus on the people that love and care about you and make you feel safe, and I definitely um have found that, and I just cherish my friends so much, so I'm thankful for you all. Yes, now we got all that mushy feel good out the way.
Nele:You know what time it is shady astrology time yes now, this is a special one because Sophie's husband is a Sagittarius. Sorry, junie, that's not going to be that bad. I don't know that much about Sagittarians so I can't really get in that ass. I apologize. Let's talk about it, all right. So the sagittarius season is from november 22nd to december 21st. Um, they are a fire sign. Their symbol is the archer. Okay, apparently I didn't finish the notable celebrities, but your girl t swizzle, taylor swift, she is a saggy. I think mickey minaj is one too, and um, I have taylor swift and samuel l jackson. That's it, ciao. So let's talk about the good things, all right. So and sophie, you can let me know how true this is All right. So some of the good things. They're adventurous. Sagittarians will book a spontaneous trip to Iceland because flights were on sale and somehow talk you into going to. They make life exciting, even if your hey, all right, I know like a couple of Sagittarians.
Soph:I don't know. Let's see if this fits them All right.
Nele:Two optimistic they could be stuck in the rain with a flat tire and still say it's fine, at least we're getting fresh air. The glass isn't just half full it's overflowing with tequila. I think that's true.
Soph:I think that's true, yeah, that's true.
Nele:Three they're funny as hell. Sagittarius is the class clown of the Zodiac. They'll roast you into oblivion, but you'll be laughing so hard you won't even mind, okay, four honest, if you want the truth, sag has you covered. Yes, those jeans make your butt look weird. No, I don't think your ex is secretly still in love with you. Brutal Sure, absolutely. Yes, yeah, that's true. And five independent they don't need you or anyone else to validate them.
Nele:Sagittarians will happily head to a concert solo or try skydiving without asking anyone's opinion. Freedom is their love language. Okay, now let's get to the shady stuff. This is where I say Sagittarians are for the streets. Junie must have some earth in his chart that makes him grounded and loyal. No, absolutely not. Okay. One commitment issues. You thought you were planning a future together, but Sagittarius will already be halfway out the door, literally on a flight to Peru. I know that's right. I definitely gave like. I have you asking people like what's your sign? I'm like. You say Sagittarius, I'm gonna give you the side eye. You here for a good time, not a long time. I added that in there, okay. Next one blunt to a honesty is great, but do you really need to tell Aunt Linda? Her potato salad tastes like sadness at the family barbecue.
Soph:We will do that. I can see Junie doing that Something tastes like sadness.
Nele:All right, all right. Another one, one reckless. Um, as fuck, they'll buy a motorcycle, adopt a pet snake and invest in crypto. Oh, that is so true about the crypto. All in one afternoon, planning and practicality. Never heard of her. So true, okay, look the one sagittarian no, I know two, but the one I kind of know like he. Just be like, you have a job sir why are you doing all this?
Nele:like stuff like you be selling stuff on like Fulton Street, like, oh, I bought this Comic Con passes, so let me go in um you know West 4th Street and be selling them to people. What is wrong with you, sir?
Soph:no, jenny's like he'll, he'll plan something to death, mm-hmm, he'll plant it out to death. But he's very entrepreneurial right. So he had the photography thing and then he had things. So stuff like that he'll do, but he'll look at the financial side of it. He's adventurous. That's how we got our cat. Though he was driving back from somewhere in upstate New York, he saw some free kittens. And he was like okay, I'll give some free kittens. And he survived it. So that's how we got Nugget.
Nele:Aw, sir Nugs, God bless him. I'm going to see him next year, yeah.
Soph:He had surgery but he's good.
Nele:Next one they're flaky. Sagittarius will swear they'll come to your party, then text you three hours later from a rooftop bar across town. Omg, I totally forgot Rain check.
Soph:No but. Junie be like I don't want to do nothing, I don't want to go nowhere. That's us being old child like I don't want to do nothing, I don't want to go nowhere. That's us being an old child. Okay, what sign you want he be like?
Nele:you know, I'm just not going to do it like you don't want to do it he was our fifth housemate and actually he should have just been the fourth we could have. I'm not going to talk about that, but we could have replaced her. I'm just saying the commitment piece.
Nele:No, no, he got something else in his chart, girl, because these saggies before the shoot, they want to do it, but you'd rather Be free. So he got something else going on. You got a good man, savannah, a good man, okay, alright, y'all. So that's it for today's episode. We hope that you all have a good holiday. You wear your stretchy pants, eat all the turkey and don't trust that potato salad with the raisins. Um, if you like the vibe, please make sure to like, comment and subscribe. Until next time, y'all.
