Death By Adulting
A podcast focused on helping you make decisions today that you won't regret tomorrow. Hosted by Dr. Steve and Megan Scheibner. The Scheibners share wisdom and advice regarding marriage, parenting, dating, communication and even sex.
Death By Adulting
Mastering Anxiety: Humor, Hope, and Hilarious Gift Blunders
Ever felt like the world is closing in on you for no apparent reason? You're not alone! Tune into this episode of Death by Adulting, where we tackle the all-too-familiar beast—anxiety. We'll share our personal stories of glazed looks during anxiety attacks and dive into the biological factors like heredity, high blood pressure, and pregnancy that can crank up those anxiety levels. But it's not all doom and gloom; we promise you'll walk away with proactive strategies to manage anxiety and recognize your personal predispositions to lead a healthier life.
Next, we break down the complex nature of anxiety and offer you a toolkit of practical strategies to manage it. Whether it's getting a medical checkup, adjusting your diet, or simply stepping out for some fresh air, we cover physical, emotional, and even spiritual helps. Introverts, don't worry—we understand the allure of isolation, but we'll discuss why it’s crucial to stay connected. And for those seeking spiritual comfort, turning to God can be a game-changer. Through humor and relatable anecdotes, we aim to make managing anxiety feel less like a chore and more like a manageable part of life.
But adulting isn't just about managing anxiety. We've got practical advice on handling air travel frustrations and avoiding those cringe-worthy gift choices. Ever been denied boarding due to last-minute aircraft changes? We'll help you see these adult responsibilities as privileges. Plus, get ready to laugh as we list the worst gifts ever—from supersized candy mishaps to unwanted Groupon deals. Finally, we'll chat about the perfect timing for getting a pet, emphasizing the readiness and responsibility required. Join us for this "Don't Worry, Be Happy" edition, where we remind you that what doesn't kill you just makes you tired.
On this episode of Death by Adulting high anxiety. Does your stress? Have stress Need help? Why is anxiety such a huge thing these days? The top six causes and cures for anxiety One out of every three people say they suffer from anxiety. I think it's a lot higher than that. Next, what the heck I got to the airport, I have a, a ticket and they won't let me on the airplane traveling. Got you stressed? Ask captain steve tips and strategies for making your next flight hassle free. Next, megan's adulting boss tip of the day. And finally, that's a thing. 10 gifts. You should never give Our thoughts. Your comments. Hint number 11 will blow your mind, plus much, much more. Roll the intro.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to Death by Adulting. I'm your host, megan Scheibner, joined by my co-host, dr Steve, and this is the high anxiety episode. And, steve, it looks like Not for me I was going to say it looks like you dressed for a vacay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I got the sunglasses, I got the shirt, I'm relaxed. This is all I need to unwind and be stressed.
Speaker 2:Because if you look relaxed, you must be relaxed, right, you must be relaxed, and that could conclude our episode.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for tuning in today.
Speaker 2:There you go, put on your sunglasses, stick a geranium in your hat.
Speaker 1:And just be happy. Just be happy, you people.
Speaker 2:Let's keep going.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, maybe Just be happy. Just be happy, you people, let's keep going. Okay, all right, maybe there's more to it than this. All right, I can't see a thing with those on Go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so we're going to talk about anxiety because it is the topic of the hour. It is, and everywhere you look, studies, social media, everywhere you go, that little statistic that you mentioned is popping up that one out of every three people say that they are struggling with anxiety.
Speaker 1:And now we think it's more like I think it's more like three out of three yeah at least.
Speaker 2:So why don't you go ahead and put up our first graphic?
Speaker 1:Okay, Let me switch you over there. Yeah, there we go. This says it all. Yeah. When someone asked me if I'm okay during an anxiety attack me, I'm fine.
Speaker 2:Why you ask. Yeah and honestly, we're surrounded by people that are walking around like that. Right, they've got that glazed look and we're pretty sure something's wrong, but they aren't really telling us Either that or just, I had way too much caffeine dude. Well, interestingly, that's going to show up on our list here. All right, too much caffeine. Too much caffeine, our list here, all right.
Speaker 1:So too much caffeine. Yeah, we're going to talk about some of the causes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's frightening how often I feel like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah so.
Speaker 2:I'll, I'm just going to be transparent. This is a topic that's really near and dear to me, because I have struggled with anxiety since I was a wee thing, as they would say. I had my first bleeding ulcer in third grade another one in college.
Speaker 1:I were way ahead of your time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm pretty high-strung filly, but there are some causes. There are some pretty predictable causes for anxiety and we want to talk about those real briefly. But then we want to give you some helps because you don't want to be stuck in what I call the stress pool of life. Sure Right, you don't want to be stuck feeling like you're going to be bowled over by this ball of anxiety all the time.
Speaker 1:Well, take it away, megan, I'll chime in every once in a while.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're going to jump right into the causes Now. The first two I'm going to lump together and there's not a whole lot that you can do with one A but one B you really can. So heredity plays a part in anxiety. So if your mother was anxious and your grandmother was anxious and your aunt Millie got put in the loony bin because she had a little of anxiety issues, right, you are going to tend to have anxiety issues and that's one of those things that, if you know that, you can look ahead and say I know that I have a propensity for this, so what am I going to do to respond differently? I mean, that really is an adulting thing, right, children go. There's nothing I can do and I'm doomed for life where adults go. What can I proactively do to win this battle? Did you want to say something?
Speaker 1:I'm just thinking about the ant in the loony bin, because that would describe a great deal of my family.
Speaker 1:I didn't drop any names, you didn't have to, but uh, yeah, I get that. So you see the danger that lay ahead and you have to have. The example for me would be let's say, you come from a long line of alcoholics and you know your other friends might be able to handle drinking, but you, just you go, I can't, I, I, you know I, I'm not going to go down that road, and that's just. The wise individual sees a danger that lay ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah Twice. In the scriptures that's repeated, so it's pretty important.
Speaker 1:See the danger.
Speaker 2:Do something to avoid it. Now linked with heredity, a little different is. Biological issues can bring on anxiety. For example, steve, you have high blood pressure, and when your blood pressure is high you are more anxious, and we can see it, even if you aren't feeling it yet.
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:I have high blood pressure. I'm fine. Why you ask? Why you ask the grammar police again?
Speaker 1:Who writes this stuff?
Speaker 2:We haven't found any memes that didn't have grammar issues but there are other things besides high blood pressure. Pregnancy can bring about anxiety. It can bring about a lot of anxiety. We just had our 10th grandchild and the little mommy who delivered was just a ball of anxiety for the last month or more.
Speaker 1:Get this baby out, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, things like inner ear issues. If your equilibrium's off, it's going to cause anxiety. So sometimes the quick fix is well, we'll talk about it more, but to go get a physical exam, all right. So heredity and biology, those two things can cause anxiety. Your emotional state can cause anxiety, or heightened anxiety, things like personal loss If you're dealing with the death of a loved one For some of us, like me, the death of a dog might cause some anxiety or knowing that they're headed that way. What if thinking? What if thinking is a sure cause of anxiety, because we're lingering in things that haven't happened. But they might, they might.
Speaker 1:Are you going to talk about, um, the things we feed on? That feed anxiety? Okay, good, I don't want to get ahead of you, yep.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Um. The next is this uh well, let me add this with the emotional thing If there's a major life event, for example, all of a sudden you're moving, your husband gets laid off, you get laid off, the rebellion of a child nothing causes more anxiety than that, and so you have to learn to recognize those things and go okay. Here's why I'm feeling this way, and then I'm going to use one of Megan and Steve's tips to feel better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the talk about the rebellion of a child. You know, even not even a teen. It could be a preteen, but, um, certainly a teen or a 20 something. And we've counseled thousands of couples over the years. A lot of that counseling was extended family, the kids were disintegrating, that something was going wrong and we would be talking to somebody. Let's say there's a couple that comes in for counseling and they're they're struggling, they're having some difficulties, or there's but they'll, they would say to us nothing major has happened and we start to dig a little deeper.
Speaker 1:We find out. Well, their teenage daughter left home. They haven't seen her in a year and a half. She they keep hearing that she's got a rap sheet as long as the cvs you know she's in rehab, she's in rehab and everything else and and I go.
Speaker 1:That's not stressing you out? Well, she's not. It was a lot worse when she was around. Oh, my word, that that's the worst kind of stress. Is that gift that keeps on giving? It's just horrible, and I say that tongue-in-cheek it's not a gift, it's, it's a torment that keeps on tormenting.
Speaker 2:So that's no small thing it is no small thing, and I think one of the things with these causes is having the maturity to try and self-diagnose in a sense, because often we don't recognize how stress is building up and then all of a sudden, there's physical manifestations, or we're acting out emotionally, or we're striking out at people. I, I know, when we had our fifth child, wow, um, I developed an autoimmune disorder. And when I was young, I was in my early thirties, and when I went to the doctor he said you know, do you have any stress in your life? I said, well, not really. And he said well, tell me about your life. I said, well, you know, I have five kids and I homeschool and my husband works for the airlines and, oh, they're getting ready to strike, but we're not sure they're going to be able to strike.
Speaker 1:And I mean as I was talking, the doctor goes. Yeah, he said to me.
Speaker 2:He said okay, first of all, you got to recognize stress right, Because there are many of us that manage this well, but doesn't mean that it's not doing damage. Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:All right Onto the next one. Number three cause of anxiety is medicines. It may be something as simple as a drug interaction. It may be what drugs you took as a child, whether it was ADHD. Drugs or antidepressants have terrible side effects of anxiety, which seems kind of counterintuitive, but that is a side effect of those types of drugs. Alcohol, which is a drug, causes anxiety. People take it because they think it numbs the anxiety, but it all it does is exacerbate it. So, uh, medicines. Next is stress, and this is where social media comes in, the things we read. Sometimes we're we're like an open door saying come on in anxiety. I'm just going to keep scrolling on this site. That's making me feel so tense and uptight. Politics, family discussions, our work-life balance these are all things that cause us stress. When we have too much stress, it's going to show up in anxiety.
Speaker 1:Well, the things we feed on become addictive. They do Right, and think about it. If there's overeating, there's something that you like to eat, so you eat too much of it, and maybe it's just a general category of fatty foods or something like that. There's the same thing with spiritual or emotional intake. We get hooked on talk radio or social media or scrolling through this feed or that feed, and the stuff that gets fed to us is fed to us on purpose, because it's what we click on. So if you click on the negative, it sends you more negative, Right. And if you feed on that, all you think is that the world is going to heck in a handbasket. There's no hope for anything. And boy, that'll have a debilitating effect on you in the long run, because for the most part, people are pretty good, most people are decent people trying to do the right thing. But if all you ever see is the dark side of everything, you're going to think everybody's like that.
Speaker 2:Right and you go. Today is bad, tomorrow will probably be worse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, think about how they control us during the pandemic. And even that, the way I phrased that right was a little too much social media and talk radio, you know, built into the my answer how they tried to control us. But it's, I'm not out of control on that. I mean, that's true, they did, yeah, and there was, there was a lot of stuff I ingested. Now I'm at the end of the day, I'm the last guard for what I take in. That stuff causes anxiety and stress and to the point where you're fearful of your fellow person.
Speaker 2:Right, oh, and that showed up in children with the levels of anxiety Absolutely.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, I get to realize, you know, I'm, if, if I'm a Christian, if I'm a born again believer, a follower of Jesus Christ, um, when I leave this earth, I'm going to go to be with Jesus. Well, great, that's better by far, paul would say. To live as Christ, to die as.
Speaker 1:Cain right. So someday I'm going to benefit when I step out of this life into the next one. So why am I fretting and wringing my hands and worried about this, that and the other thing? At the end of the day, I've got to be kind of balanced and responsible in my life but I can't let anxiety just destroy and suck all the fun out of everything. Right, and it's not healthy.
Speaker 2:Interestingly, there are good things we can do that cause stress, that lead to anxiety to think of and this is almost an addiction over commitment. I mean, we used to joke Steve used to call me helium arms because they would say we need to volunteer. Oh, oh, oh, and it was all good things I was doing and I love doing them, but it made my my day so jam packed that I was running from thing to thing to thing to thing, which causes stress, and then all of a sudden you're just anxious and you're like I don't know what's wrong with me. All right, so that's the next one. Number five is this Um, are you ready? Food, drink and caffeine, and so the things that we ingest can cause anxiety.
Speaker 1:Well, that'll be the end of our episode today on death by adulting. Thanks for tuning in. We'll see you all next time.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What you eat matters the amount of sugar that you eat, the high, high process, highly processed food.
Speaker 1:That's your point.
Speaker 2:Cut it out, all right. And then number six, and this is this is you can have anxiety for no apparent reason. Yes, sometimes anxiety just happens. And so here we are and we've got anxiety. Now can you pull up our next graphic?
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's take it Okay. Yes, here we go, there you go.
Speaker 2:Anxiety girl. What's she say?
Speaker 1:Able to jump to the worst conclusion in a single bound.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, there is no super girl that is called anxiety girl for so. So for those of you who feel like this is just who I am I'm anxious, there's nothing I can do about it and I'm just going to be the best anxious person I could be, and I understand.
Speaker 2:I understand I am that girl too often. It's not healthy and it's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for your family, your, any of your relationships, all right. So we want to give you some helps, and the helps really fall into the three areas that make us up. So there's physical helps that are just really practical, there's emotional helps and then there's what, honestly, what I would consider the most important helps, which are the spiritual helps, because God really is on your team when it comes to anxiety and he wants to be the one who takes it away. So let's talk about physical first.
Speaker 2:So if you're dealing with anxiety, especially if this is a new thing, like oh, I've always been pretty chill and all of a sudden I'm really anxious, which I would say when you first got your blood pressure checked was one of the things like something's not right. You should go check. And so if that's you, if this is a new, new feeling, a new emotion, new behavior, go to the doctor, get a physical. It's low hanging fruit. Find out is your thyroid off, you know? Is something wrong with your inner ear? Do you have high blood pressure? Look into those things for women. Are you menopausal or premenopausal? You know what's going on with your body, and if the answer comes back nothing, then you move on to the next things. But the low-hanging fruit is check and see if it's something physical, especially if it's new.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, so that's the easy thing to do. What's a little bit more involved.
Speaker 2:Check your diet, check what you're eating and eat, just as importantly, when you're eating it Right. There are certain times of the day to eat that are going to cause you to be more anxious. So if you, if it's 11 o'clock at night and you're having ice cream or a sweet pastry or something like that, and then I'm not even looking at you going to bed, it's going to heighten your levels of anxiety.
Speaker 1:Why don't you look at me? I'm not an anxious man, I'm chill.
Speaker 2:Look how chill you are I wear sunglasses over my glasses.
Speaker 1:There you go. See how chill I am.
Speaker 2:I would not walk in public with you like that. Just telling you it would make me anxious.
Speaker 2:All right Number three is this um, exercise, Exercise helps anxiety. Getting those good endorphins going helps with the negative endorphins that anxiety are. And I, while weightlifting is great and there are other benefits for that and for hit workouts and those types of things honestly the best thing you can do is walk. Go take a walk which leads into the next, which is get fresh air, get out in creation, begin to notice it, breathe deeply, look, find five things that are beautiful on your walk, but start walking and it will help your anxiety get out of your cubicle, get some exercise.
Speaker 1:For god's sake, get out of your mom's basement yes, yes right get up before one o'clock in the afternoon. All of the important things about adulting we're going to deal with here on death by adulting one, one last physical.
Speaker 2:Thing.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Hydrate. There is a connection between how well hydrated you are and the levels of stress your body is undergoing, which lead to anxiety.
Speaker 1:Remember you heard it here first folks at Death by Adulting. You must drink eight times your body weight a day in water.
Speaker 2:There you have it. You can scoff all you want.
Speaker 1:Eight times her body weight every day in water.
Speaker 2:Scoff away? No, I'm not scoffing. You're right, honey, I know you're right yeah. You know how I deal with things that cause stress in my life. You make fun of them, I make fun of them, you do, I do, you do I become cynical and I make fun of them this whole thing in anxiety is just stressing me out.
Speaker 2:Your tears are helpful because it leads us to the next part, which is what are some cures on an emotional level? What can we do about anxiety? Because that's really where we feel it right. We feel anxiety in our emotions. It makes us uptight, it makes us lethargic. Sometimes anxiety sends us to bed, Sometimes it makes it that we can't sleep. It really affects us and and emotionally, we just feel well, right To depression. Yes.
Speaker 1:And uh and other side effects, physiological side effects as well.
Speaker 2:So go ahead. Some of these are going to seem like flip-flops on the emotional one, but it depends on how God made you, what your personality type is. The first one is this if you're dealing with anxiety and it's an emotional issue for you, don't isolate Right. And so for me, because of my personality, I'm much more of an introvert. When I'm feeling especially anxious, I don't want anyone in my space, I want to be alone and I want to be left alone, but that's not necessarily healthy for me. And so if that's you, if you're like I'm anxious, I need to not be with people I'm going to encourage you to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and find other people to be with, because isolation is going to make it worse.
Speaker 1:Your ideal situation when you're feeling like that is you alone in an empty library.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with my dog.
Speaker 1:With your dog, just your dog, you, and no people.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely, but in the long run that's not healthy.
Speaker 2:It's not healthy for you. Now on the other side of it is, but don't overstimulate yourself either, Because overstimulation is just going to make the anxiety worse. So find a friend to spend time with. Don't throw a party, right, you can't put a party band-aid on anxiety and go every way. I'll be here, obviously. I'll feel better. You won't.
Speaker 1:It's funny because you think of the person who's in the middle of the party maybe that they threw and they feel really alone and really isolated and super depressed and you're like, how can that be?
Speaker 1:You know the party's raging around me, but you're alone and that's not. You're right, that's not the fix, that's overstimulation and and the so in the counseling that we've done over the years. And, by the way, just a little pitch for what we do here Um, if you think you know what I just I need to talk to somebody at some point, or I think I need some help, or my marriage is struggling, or if we just want to make it better, I mean we we deal, we we counsel a fair amount of couples that are just looking to improve their marriage.
Speaker 2:Which is really where counseling should start Right.
Speaker 1:And so, whatever level you're coming in at in this discussion, reach out to us at characterhealthcom and click the contact us tab it comes straight to Megan and I Nobody else sees it and then just share with us. Hey, here's what I'm struggling with. We'll set up a phone call, it'll be free. We'll talk about your situation. Can you, can we? We'll set up a phone call, it'll be free, we'll talk about your situation and then we'll go from there. But, um, when we were, when I counseled people that were dealing with, uh, depression, which is a huge thing um, the acronym DEAF, d, e, a, f is what I would always go with at first, to start with diet, exercise, aging and fatigue.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right. Look at your diet. What you're taking in your level of exercise has probably got to improve. All of us can improve in that area. Aging If you're getting older. There's things you can do to help mitigate that, and then finally your fatigue level, are you?
Speaker 1:in that sleep debt? We talked about that on a previous podcast. Are you in a sleep debt? You got to get better sleep and maybe it it means turn off that phone, get it away from you at night so you can get better REM sleep. So those are the four things I start with, but you're adding to it about people interaction and don't just necessarily, and it's the sleep.
Speaker 2:One is such a catch-22, because anxiety robs you of sleep, but it makes you sleepy, and so what happens is you lay there and then you're fretting over the fact that I can't get to sleep.
Speaker 1:And if you're saying well, how do I know? I'm depressed. Okay, here's a few symptoms of depression. If you find yourself wanting to pull the shades down and just sit in an empty room and turn the lights out and be in a dark room by yourself, you're probably depressed. If you're having a hard time remembering the names of people that are close to you people you've known your whole life and you look at them and you go why can't I remember your name?
Speaker 2:All right, like that short-term memory loss is many times a sign of of depression. And there's a bunch more right, we can go into a bunch more, but those are two that really kind of caught my attention. Yeah, which, and depression?
Speaker 1:fog, the memory loss, the the um, the wanting to be alone in the dark.
Speaker 2:The dividing line between anxiety and depression is almost invisible. They go hand in hand. So the next one is this Build a village or a squad, or whatever you want to call it, but have a group that you can turn to. When you're dealing with anxiety, you cannot be alone. You need to be able to say to someone I'm dealing with anxiety and make it people who you know can give you help. Right, not somebody who's just going to say to you oh yeah, you should hear about my anxiety, right, you? Nothing wrong with you. How about me? Find, find those people that you can trust, that you can turn to and say I'm having a bad day.
Speaker 2:Um. Number four is this Um, if you're dealing with a high level of anxiety in your life, schedule, it Schedule your life, because the less you have to think about what comes next now you're not going to live the rest of your life with this well thought out schedule, but the very act of saying, and then I'm going to do this, and then I'm going to do this, which is going to lead me to do this, helps to mitigate some of the stress of your life and it'll lower the anxiety. And then finally, um, begin a journal and record things you're grateful about. Now we try to do that kind of on a daily basis. We'll say to each other tell me three things you're thankful for or grateful for. But when you are feeling that high level of anxiety, turning your anxiety into gratitude for the good things in your life is like taking a happy pill, right, but it's better than medicine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's really good advice. I like all of that, all right.
Speaker 2:One last category, and, like I said before, I'm a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, so for me this is the most important one, and so in the spiritual realm, there are things we can do to help with anxiety, and God wants to help you carry your anxiety. The first is this seek help more than just a village or a squad or your group of friends. Get counsel, whether it's like Christian counselors, biblical counselors like Steve and I, or everybody needs a pastor. Go to your pastor and say I'm struggling and he can give you the help that you need, or he'll know how to point you, hopefully, to someone who can. Second is this Memorize scripture. At the most anxious moments in my life, the scripture that I've hidden in my heart is what I have to combat my anxiety. There's verses like casting your cares on him because he cares for you. Right what time? I am afraid. I will trust in thee that God's word can minister to my heart when nobody else is around, when I can't get hold of my squad or my village.
Speaker 1:You know be anxious for nothing, but in all things, through prayer and supplication, make your request be known to the Lord, or I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Those are great refreshing words at moments where you really kind of feel defeated or down or want to get dark.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the Holy Spirit is described in the scriptures as our comforter, and when we hide God's word in our heart, the Holy Spirit can take that word and use it to comfort us through times of anxiety. Number three is this get out and serve somebody else, and that seems counterintuitive. Like I need to be taken care of. I'm so anxious why aren't people looking out for me? But when we take the gaze off of ourselves and onto other people, it will lighten the load of anxiety that we care carry, because there are always other people who have needs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Right, that's good stuff yeah, one more all right um, invest, invest, invest in your friends, don't withdraw. I mean, I said that in emotional, probably said in physical, but the the more you invest in other people, the less that anxiety that wants to isolate you tell you you're alone, life's going to get worse, nothing's going to get better and nobody cares is going to be taken care of, because you're going to be caring about other people's hearts but what?
Speaker 1:what if I go? You know what I just don't feel like doing? That Are some of these things you just have to force yourself to do it.
Speaker 2:So, yes, there are a lot of things in the adulting life that action precedes belief.
Speaker 1:Well remember, in one of our first podcasts we said one of the themes of death by adulting was going to be. You don't have to like it, you just have to do it. Sometimes, these, the jump starts for breaking the anxiety chain, is you just you don't have to like it, you just have to do it. Get out, force yourself to serve somebody else, get interact with other people. Pull the curtains aside, let the sun come in.
Speaker 2:Lift up the shades yeah you know, in it, get out, get some fresh. In essence, we use the term it's one of those religious terms we kind of throw around of you just got to step out in faith. But that's kind of what this is we're stepping out of what feels like it would be comforting to do what we we've heard will be comforting, trusting that it will be.
Speaker 1:Well, and especially in this feelings driven world that we live in, right, we're in one of those feelings driven worlds that the there are cultures that the world has ever known, and, with that being said, everybody bases all of their actions upon whether they feel like it or not at the moment. And a whole lot in the world of adulting is, you know what? I don't feel like it or not at the moment, and a whole lot in the world of adulting is, you know what I don't feel like it? Right, but that doesn't mean I don't have to do it. There's a lot of things that I have to. I have to pay my taxes.
Speaker 2:I don't feel like paying my taxes.
Speaker 1:I have to put gas in the car and I have to pay for it to do that. They won't give me the gas without paying for it first. I don't feel like doing that. I have to do that. I have to put clothes on my kids and a roof over their head and I have to go to work, and there's lots of things I'd rather do than that. Right, you don't have to like it, you just have to do it.
Speaker 1:So that's the world of being an adult and, honestly, the less you fight at it, the more you look at it as something I have to do and the more you embrace it as something I get to do, absolutely. That's where all the fun comes, yeah, and a lot of times the mood lifts, the darkness goes away and you're going. You know what? It was just my perspective. My perspective was I just thought I had to do all these things. I didn't want to do them and the world was imposing itself upon me and couldn't I have more fun? What about me? And you know what? At the end of the day, I realized that I get to do these things. I get to raise kids. I get to to lead a wife. I get to have a family, I get to put a roof over the head. There's a lot of guys that wish they had that opportunity, but they couldn't find a girl to say yes to them.
Speaker 2:And I found a girl that said yes, and she's sitting right there 40 years of yeses 40 years of yesing.
Speaker 1:All right, that's cute.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, there you go. So don't feel like you're stuck in the cesspool of anxiety.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's a good start and we'll do much, much more on anxiety in subsequent episodes going forward. All right, so let's do this now. Let's segue to our next segment, which is a what the heck segment.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is yours.
Speaker 1:Well, you actually invented the. What the heck and that's your that's going to be on your tombstone.
Speaker 2:It's going to be on my tombstone.
Speaker 1:The expression what the heck, because Megan says it all the time. She'll look at something and you'll hear in the other room She'll go what the heck? And I'll go what now? Something didn't work out. But so this what the heck segment is this and I'm going to put on my captain hat. All right, the the what the heck for today is I got to the airport, uh, with a paid ticket, a paid for ticket, not a standby. You got to the airport with a paid for ticket and they wouldn't let you on the airplane and you're like, wait a minute, I got a ticket right here. It says seat 26a. It's on this flight, I'm not on the wrong flight, I, I'm on the right flight. And when you go to put it through the machine they go sorry, step aside, sir or ma'am, it's just not right and you're like well, wait a minute, and boy I watch this happen.
Speaker 1:Not a lot, but it happens enough that you see people get real indignant, and rightly so. I mean I'd be real indignant if I had a seat. I always have a seat, but that's because I'm flying the airplane.
Speaker 2:And I'm that standby passenger. Another story for another day.
Speaker 1:And on standby. You just get used to not getting on and getting bumped and all that, but you got a paid for ticket and you don't get on. There's several reasons why that might happen. Now, before I get into those, let me ask you to do something for us, right? If you've made it this far in the podcast, you like what you're seeing, do us a favor, click that little thumbs up icon and then subscribe so you don't miss any of this content. We're going to do so much wonderful stuff here going forward. That's really helpful. If you made it this far, you like what we're dishing out and we're going to go in a progression, and so don't just do us a favor. Click that subscribe button. Share this with your friends on social media. You're going to help us grow and we're going to help you grow. It's, it works out. Uh, you scratch our back, we'll scratch yours, okay, so, having said that, we got the like, subscribe, share thing out of the way now, um, you get there with a paid ticket.
Speaker 1:They won't let you on the airplane. I just witnessed this the other day. I was at the gate, I was trying to fly home, standby, yeah, and they switched airplanes at the last minute. So that's one reason why you might not have a seat on an airplane you think you have a seat on, because sometimes at the last minute they'll switch one aircraft type. This happens with the Airbus all the time Because we have at our airline and most major airlines have three size Airbuses the A321, the A320, and the A319. The 19 is the smallest, 20 is in between, 21 is the biggest. So let's say you were originally going to fly in an A321 and you had a seat 26A. The A319 got substituted for that A321 and it doesn't even have 26 rows. So guess what, when you go to check in, they're going to go sorry, step aside and they're going to have to reaccommodate you or figure out another seat for you, and it's a hassle, so frustrating it causes a lot of frustration for
Speaker 1:people. So sometimes that's what happens. It's a last minute aircraft substitution. Sometimes there's what's called a seat dupe. The computers are not infallible and they will duplicate a seat with you and somebody else, Like if you've ever been on an airplane and either you were in a seat this has happened to some of you, I know it or you were sitting near somebody and a guy came down and said hey, dude, you're in my seat. And he's like no, this is my seat. And sometimes it's they're in the wrong row, Like they. They looked up at the number and they got it wrong and oh, sorry, I'm in, Do you mind? You want to sit up there? I'll sit back here. Yeah, fine, it works out. But many times it's the exact same seat. Then the agent comes down and looks and goes. They do this, they go, huh.
Speaker 2:Huh, it is the same seat, just like that.
Speaker 1:Right, so you go. Uh-huh, I've been telling you that for 15 minutes, right? Well, we?
Speaker 2:got to close the door.
Speaker 1:So they'll go and they'll straighten it out. Hopefully they've got another seat on that airplane. If not, good things are going to happen to you Now. You're sitting there thinking you know what I want to get on this flight? They should offer you a voucher Now. Sometimes, when they change the airplane on you at the last minute, there's going to be 15, 20 people that don't have a seat on that airplane, especially if it was going to be full in the first place when they start doing the.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, we have an exceedingly full flight today. If there's any of you that have flexible travel plans and would like to get on the next flight, we can accommodate you on the next flight and we're going to offer you a voucher for and everybody's sitting there listening and they go $450. Don't bite on that. Right, it's going to get better, so just wait. So nobody comes up, but be get close. Right Now they're going to say um $850.
Speaker 1:They're like auctioneers, right, they're going to they're going to bump it up until they get enough people that come forward. So it's a little bit like an auction. You got to have good timing, get close to the counter and when the number hits the number that you like, go for it, because that's a really good deal. It's a. There's no blackouts on those things. It's good forever. You can use it. There's no restrictions on it. It's just 850 bucks and they'll put you on the next flight. Now, if the next flight's the next morning, they're also going to put you in a hotel for the evening. They're going to give you a meal voucher. Is it a perfect, ideal situation? No, but you know what?
Speaker 2:If you've got some flexibility. Yeah, if you have some flexibility, it is worth it.
Speaker 1:It can actually be a pretty good deal. You just got a free plane ticket out of the whole thing. Now, if they can't get you on, then get you out on the next flight, the next morning.
Speaker 2:And a hotel.
Speaker 1:The small print is they have to get you there on the same day. Now that means if you're in the airplane on the same day and it goes over midnight and they get you there after midnight, that doesn't count. But if they tell you we can't get you on this airplane If it's weather, it's not their fault, they're not responsible. But if it's them, they changed the airplane. They took an airplane out of service. That's when you should get paid for your ticket and get a ticket out and a hotel room and all those things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's one of the times we would say read the small print.
Speaker 1:Read the small print, All right, On your ticket. Here's another little tip for you to kind of help you with this stress of traveling anxiety. The door to the airplane on all major airlines closes 15 minutes early. 15 minutes early is when they close out the flight. Why do they do that? The airplane's sitting there, the jet bridge is hooked up, the door is closed. You're there looking up going. I got 15 minutes and they've already closed out the flight. It takes 15 minutes for the computer to do all the paperwork and the weight and balance and the fuel computations and the and the luggage computations and all of that thing for that airplane to be safe, to push back off the gate and go flying. That's why they have that 15 minute margin. And so the 15,. When it says two o'clock on your flight it's 1.45. Right, so if you get there at 1.50, sorry, you're already too late, You've already missed the flight. So just remember that. Get there well in advance. Take your earbuds out, All right.
Speaker 2:This might be a rant. What would this one be Take?
Speaker 1:your earbuds out.
Speaker 1:They're going to call your name 10 times Passenger so-and-so, passenger, so-and-so, passenger, so-and-so. And I see it over and over again. There's passenger so-and-so sitting right over there. Listen to their tunes, right? Then? And they think they've got 15 minutes, right, right. So they look and everybody's kind of gone, and then they sort of get up their stuff and they kind of wander over. There's still 10 more minutes until the flight leaves.
Speaker 1:And they walk over and they go uh, hey, man, and they pull their ticket out and the flight attendant or the agent goes do you have a seat on this airplane? Oh yeah, I got a seat. I paid for it. It's a paid for seat, seat right here. And she goes. Well, we called you like 10 times. You never called me. I've been sitting right there the whole time. Nobody ever called me. Take your your earbuds out. Adulting pro tip from Dr Captain. Steve, all right, listen to what's going on around you. Because the other thing is, I'm flying standby and if I want to get home at that 15 minute mark, if you haven't shown up with your ticket, they give your seat to me. Guess what? I'm not giving it back, okay, so you're going to have to wait and go on the next flight. And it's your own darn fault.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're not going to reimburse you for that one.
Speaker 1:They're not going to reimburse you for that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right.
Speaker 1:So just take your earbuds out. If they offer you a voucher, take it and wait for it to bump up to the level you want, and be patient.
Speaker 2:Just take the next flight tips.
Speaker 1:I wish I could do them.
Speaker 2:I'm always standby.
Speaker 1:You are always standby.
Speaker 2:So I'm the person who's saying to young people hey, have you heard this song? Why don't you put your earbuds? Have you heard?
Speaker 1:the latest Taylor Swift song.
Speaker 2:Take a quick listen. I'm going to give you the whole album for free. Here it is. You're listening to this so that they miss their flight and you get on.
Speaker 1:Exactly yes, you are a conniving person I am I love you for that. Okay, that's travel. That's that's uh ask, captain steve. Captain steve, all right, let's do this next. It's megan's adulting boss tip of the day. Megan's adulting boss tip of the day.
Speaker 2:Take it away, meg okay, it comes right back to traveling. Build memories, not monuments. So, especially you younger couples who don't have children yet, spend your money on building memories. Travel, go places, invest in your relationship. Don't buy all the stuff. The stuff will come. I don't even know how it happened. We didn't have all that much stuff and then all of a sudden we needed a giant moving truck for our last move. Right it comes. You're going to regret the time you didn't spend building memories. It's harder to travel with children. That is a true fact. So build memories, not monuments.
Speaker 1:Meg's adulting boss tip of the day. That's a good one, hon, that's a really good one. All right, we're going to we're going to finalize our session today with this really fun segment. Really, that's a thing Now. We did this a couple of podcasts ago and I loved it so much we got to do that fairly often we realized we found some bad gifts and realized there's even worse.
Speaker 1:So we, you know, when we have some downtime, we're looking through websites, like you are. We're probably spending too much time on social media and all the things we told you not to do. That we do it. Do as I say, do as I say, not as I do, and uh, so what?
Speaker 1:So we came across uh, uh, 10 stupid gifts. Actually it's 11, but that's why I said in the tease, number 11 will really blow you away. There are actually 11, um, stupid gifts. Don't waste your money. And our answer is just don't do it. And we're just going to. I'm just going to. We're kind of riff on this. I'm going to show you what the gift is. You tell me your thoughts on it, whether you think it's stupid or not. Okay, so let me put you up on the screen. And again, we're on a website, so don't freak out over this. But there it is. Number one on the list is supersized candy. A few bites of a sweet treat is a lovely idea, but no one wants to have tons of leftover chocolate lying around for months yeah, remember the five pound gummy bear that melted in the back seat of our car you don't have five pound gummy bear that melted on the back seat of my Lexus.
Speaker 2:That would be the one, yeah, you don't want to do those giant treats.
Speaker 1:Nobody's going to eat them.
Speaker 2:That my son left there. Yeah, no giant treats, that's just a, that's a bad idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my, what a big chocolate heart you have.
Speaker 2:And it's not going to taste good Any chocolate that's made that big. It's not like chocolate you want.
Speaker 1:Okay, that big it's not like chocolate you want. Okay, I agree, that's a bad gift, all right. Next, an unwanted groupon deal that's.
Speaker 2:That's that you're headed out the door, you go. Oh no, I was supposed to bring a gift. It says this is even worse than giving an impersonal last minute gift card give me the gift card before a groupon coupon kidding or anyon coupon that nobody wants to be part of, and that's that's pretty bad.
Speaker 1:All right, number three Uh, here we go A gym membership.
Speaker 2:All right, okay, there is no way that doesn't scream of you could lose a few pounds.
Speaker 1:There's no way to present that unless it's been asked for.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like honey, will you get me a gym membership? Okay, okay, but then it's not really a gift, it's kind of a purchase, right, but this is a hey, honey, I was thinking about you it doesn't matter if the barbells are pink honey, I was thinking about you and I thought gym membership that would. That would be a good thing for you, you, you ought to go to the gym here lies steve.
Speaker 1:He'll be dearly missed here lies steve, all right. What does it say? Though you may have good intentions, anything else that hints at self-improvement could be seen as offensive. I agree, yes, no disagreement. Yes, all right, here we go. Tickets that are clearly for the gifter. Okay, this is like when the kids got us something like a Lego set.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right that they wanted.
Speaker 2:Yes, and they go. Mom Dad, merry Christmas, look what I got you. I got you a Lego set here. I'll keep it for you.
Speaker 1:Tickets for someone you'll, something you'll do together, but are obviously not for the recipient. No, thank you. Yeah, okay, give me an example of a of a ticket that you would buy that I would say no thank you too, but it would be for you.
Speaker 2:Uh.
Speaker 1:Well, I think elvis costello fell into that category that would be, I wouldn't, you wouldn't have minded it.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm okay with that there are some groups that I love. Okay, if, if we could still go see, like england, dan and john ford coley are those guys still alive?
Speaker 1:I don't know, but you wouldn't go to that Is that one person, or a lot of people.
Speaker 2:It's two people and they had the 70s mustaches or 80s, whatever that is. Whatever it takes, you wouldn't want to go see that.
Speaker 1:I see I thought that was a group with six guys with just a bunch of first names.
Speaker 2:England, dan John Ford and Co. First names england dan john ford and coley. No, no, it was two guys they were.
Speaker 1:They were kind of like holland oats, only not as good, okay. So if you got me tickets to that, I would.
Speaker 2:I would probably go, oh what would you get tickets to that?
Speaker 1:I would say that with oh wow, um a boxing match, um, you know we did kind of have one.
Speaker 2:We just had one this summer because steve listens to a group that I'd never heard of.
Speaker 1:And so it's a group called Cake.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we got tickets to Cake and and as we were going, I thought we are going to be the only people here Whoever heard of this group and got there and not only was it packed, but nobody sat.
Speaker 1:Everybody knew the words, except me I didn't know any of it, it was fun.
Speaker 2:It was it's funky music. We had a good time, but we did, if I took- you to a cigar lounge. You probably might think that that was not a good idea. Yeah, I would not go.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got a lot of things that fall into that category okay let's go back to the yeah ticket. That's for somebody else, all right, uh, jewelry they would never wear yeah, don't waste the money. Great In theory, jewelry is a great idea, but it's also highly personal, I agree, and difficult to get it right. It's better to let her pick out her own baubles instead. Yeah, that's 100% agree.
Speaker 1:Yes, gentlemen, that's sage advice right there. Well said, take her along, let her pick it out and say honey, this is a gift for you. The surprise can be let's go pick out some jewelry tonight, and here's your budget, and you pick it out and I'll be there right with you holding your hand, won't that be nice?
Speaker 2:And credit card.
Speaker 1:And credit card. All right Back to the jewelry. What's next, oops.
Speaker 2:Ooh, I clicked too fast. No, no, nothing says I didn't want to waste time getting your gift than a mug.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it says everyone has enough of these go-to gifts already and every mug has to say something on it. You know, like world's best dad, you know? Or some political thing, or you know. It's just why can't you get a? I can't even find a mug that doesn't have something written on it, or it's covered with hearts.
Speaker 2:You are a curmudgeon, or it's covered with hearts. You are a curmudgeon, but we have enough mugs.
Speaker 1:I have become a curmudgeon. Yeah, all right Now when we advertise ourself the two of us as your on-demand old farts. Okay, we really mean it. I mean, we're a fast-forward 40-plus years for most of you and you go. Is that what I'm going to look like in 40 years? Darn right, you are, if you're lucky, having said that how about the next one? If you're lucky.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, these things are things that you accumulate over the years and just listen to us. Don't do it. Save yourself. Okay, all right, there's the mug from heck. All right, what's next?
Speaker 2:Giant teddy bears.
Speaker 1:This, what's next? Giant teddy bears. This is a perfectly appropriate gift for a five-year-old. Only that's so true. That's so true.
Speaker 2:If you give it to another adult, they're going to think what five-year-old do I?
Speaker 1:know. Or a 15-year-old girl, a big teddy bear.
Speaker 2:And if you're a 15-year-old boy, I guess, yeah, that she can sleep with Right, but other than that, yeah, no, that doesn't work.
Speaker 1:Okay, that doesn't work. All right, what's next? All right, connect connects. It's one thing to give a trinket with sentimental meaning or something that you know will speak to the receiver, but trust, trust me no one needs more cute stuff taking up space in their home and you have to be careful when you let people know things you like yes because remember I I got a couple bird houses because I thought they were nice and then every gift I got from everyone was bird houses right.
Speaker 1:What is, what is number 11, by the way, right oh, you'll get there oh, I haven't gotten there yet.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, I thought this was number 11.
Speaker 2:No, you'll see. You'll see when you get there. That's pretty awful, wow.
Speaker 1:And who thought those were cute? They're ugly.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of connect connects that are not cute All right, here we go. Re. That's that bad, unless you're giving it back to the person who gave it to you in the first place.
Speaker 1:So you need to keep pretty good records.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be a fox pox yeah, but I think you can re-gift things like if I already have it, if I already have a candle, that that is that size and that scent, I could just put it away and give it to another friend candles. Yes, they do.
Speaker 1:Okay, good.
Speaker 2:Olfactory Important safety tip.
Speaker 1:Okay, very good, there you go. Don't re-gift again. Wrinkle and anti-aging products.
Speaker 2:This is number 10. This is number 10. This isn't even it, yeah.
Speaker 1:It says a gift that also presents an underlying insult does not send the right message. Do not insult her. All right, hey, here's some wrinkle cream for you. My mom used to wear it. Okay, yeah all right, that's um boy. We should have put this in the romance section of the last podcast.
Speaker 2:Okay, this is romance. This is number 11. This is horrifying here we go.
Speaker 1:Let me go back to the screen number 11 drum roll please, hair, okay if you are a man, let me speak to the men yes if you are a man, you don't see hair, you don't mention it, you don't notice it, it's as though it doesn't exist.
Speaker 2:She'll take care of it herself. Okay, so there's another thing that falls into this category.
Speaker 1:It's actually, though it doesn't exist. She'll take care of it herself, okay? So there's another thing that falls into this category. It's actually a power move by people, men in particular, um, but it's a man with a bad toupee. No, no, we put this way.
Speaker 1:A man with a toupee all right, every toupee looks like it's something that came out of the dow Industries Better Living Through Chemistry program. It's on top of your head somewhere there, and he by the way, this bald guy who's wearing this rug on top of his head knows that it looks like that and you know that it looks like that, but you aren't allowed to say anything about it. And so that dude has a power play of I know something and you know something, but we can't talk about it, and that's that's. That's power man.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's right Now, this is. This is a little different right, but it's kind of the same idea. It's there, she sees idea. It's there, she sees it. You see it. But, dudes, don't say anything about it. Let her take care of it and, for God's sake, don't make a joke or be sarcastic about it. It'll be the end of life, as you know it.
Speaker 2:It's the same if you have a teenage daughter and you buy her acne medication without her asking for it. We just have to pretend it's not there.
Speaker 1:So here's a word that I've never seen before. It says here's the write-up. It says there's nothing like a depilatory, yeah get rid of hair. Okay, that's what a depilatory is Set of razors or hair remover cream to say I love you. If you're left thinking who on earth would ever do this? There's this, mother-in-law.
Speaker 2:Okay, yes, yep, I guess if you wanted to send your mother-in-law a message. Yeah, I don't think you should do that.
Speaker 1:No, but if you didn't like her, you still shouldn't do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it would be so much, just because you can doesn't mean you should. Well on another episode.
Speaker 1:Maybe we'll do a special dudes episode of things that you ought not to do to your mother-in-law. But it would be so much darn fun that why not? But we'll save that cynical moment for another day. All right, I told you number 11 was worth it. Next time, next time on Death by Adulting when is the best time for?
Speaker 2:a pet?
Speaker 1:I'm not talking about this type of pet. I'm talking about the furry kind or the feathered kind or the fishy kind. When is the best time for a pet? And little hint, pro tip cats don't count.
Speaker 2:Okay, right.
Speaker 1:Let's close it out.
Speaker 2:All right, this has been Death by Adulting. The, don't worry, be happy edition and when it comes to adulting, remember what doesn't kill you just makes you tired.
Speaker 1:We'll see you next time. I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger.