Death By Adulting

Reigniting Romance: The Power of a Couple's Getaway

• Dr. Steve and Megan Scheibner

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Can a simple trip transform your relationship? Find out how a few days of isolation at Bethany Beach, Delaware, reignited our spark and could do wonders for your bond too. This episode of Death by Adulting, the on-the-road edition, is all about the magic of getting away together, just the two of you, and why it's crucial for couples at any stage. Whether you're discussing big life changes or simply reconnecting, we share personal stories and practical tips that highlight the importance of investing in your relationship without the usual distractions.

Join us as we break down the difference between a typical family vacation and a much-needed couple's retreat. We talk about creating moments free from daily chaos—no honey-do lists, no kids, no endless to-dos. Hear our experiences and learn actionable steps to prioritize your partner, no matter how long you've been together. From young couples to seasoned partners, discover how planning these little getaways can keep the romance alive and ensure your relationship remains vibrant and strong. Get ready to reignite your relationship with a simple yet profound approach to spending time together!

Speaker 1:

Hey everybody, welcome to Death by Adulting the on-the-road edition. And here we are driving back from just a couple days away together. And Steve, what do we want to talk about today?

Speaker 2:

Well, we want to talk about getting isolated as a couple, and that's different than vacation. Vacation is usually with the kids or with others, or it's a whole big thing. Isolation is something you should do at least once a year, maybe a couple of times a year if your schedule allows it. But it's a couple of three or four days away, just the two of you, no particular agenda to invest in the relationship.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so that's what we just did. We actually went to one of our favorite vacation spots, where we used to go for 28 years. We went to Bethany Beach, delaware, and we went back, just the two of us, which was a little weird with no kids. But you know what? It's just as fun with just the two of us. But why is it so important to get away together? Well, you know, there's a lot of really good reasons for it, but sometimes you need to get away together to talk about big things like plans for the future, a job change, a move, your budget. But sometimes you just need to get away together to just kind of rekindle and remember that you're a husband and wife. Husband and wife, it's easy to get stuck into the role of mom and dad, grandma and grandpa for us business partners and you know you need the chance to walk the boardwalk and hold hands and be a little goofy together. So, steve, give me your thoughts on that.

Speaker 2:

Well, it's a good excuse for me to wear my sunglasses and my happy shirt, where I don't get to wear that normally when I go to work. But, all kidding aside, it's a good time for the two of us to have no particular agenda. Now we did sit down and talk about. You know, what do you want to do, like, do you want to play golf? Do you want to just go for walks? Do you want to go do some shopping? But those are real general categories and not the day-to-day specific. I got to get this done. Here's a honey-do list.

Speaker 2:

You know, the gutter just fell down. You got to go out and fix it. You know all that kind of stuff. That is very refreshing. It's kind of a time to refresh your batteries a little bit and get charged up, to get back into the real world, if you will. But it's really important for this relationship because you can be married for 30, 40 or more years and realize that you've just become roommates, that you don't really know each other anymore, and you've got to invest in this relationship. This is the primary relationship with the family. This is the one that goes until death, do us part, and you've got to do some good things for that relationship. Getting isolated once or twice a year is one of the best things that you can do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so one of the tips we would give you is tell your kids no phone calls, no texting. Now you know. If it's an emergency, certainly come up with a system for them to get hold of you. If you have little children, maybe you're going to check in with whoever's watching them, but this isn't a time to get away and sit on your phone texting your kids or texting your friends. It's a time to invest in one another.

Speaker 1:

And really getting away for me, I think, falls into kind of three categories. There's the young couples, and we have some of those in our family young couples that are newly married or haven't been married very long. They don't have any kids yet and you would think well, why do they have to get away? There's nothing at their house distracting them like children. But it's important for them to get away because they need to get out of the routine and they need to build the habit of we're a couple and we get away and we invest in one another. Right, don't let the dailiness take over.

Speaker 1:

Now, for those of you who have kids, you're like, yeah, of course, of course let's get away, but sometimes that's not so easy to do. And, moms, I want to encourage you. Your kids will do just fine without you. It's really healthy for them to see you get away with dad. You are not indispensable, even though it feels that way. It's good for your kids to know that, that they'll be safe and that they can trust you to leave them with someone safe.

Speaker 1:

But, husbands and wives, when you're in the lots of kids or lots of ages of kids time period, you need to get away to remember your husband and wife and ladies, you've got to do it, you have got to do it. You may not think you need to, but you'll become resentful and bitter if all you are is mom. And then what about this age? I mean, we're older Again. We don't have kids in the home. Why can't we just stay home? Life doesn't slow down when you're an empty nester. We're just as busy as we ever were, sometimes busier, and it's easy to just do the next thing in our homes and not invest in one another.

Speaker 1:

Again, it's another season of life where it's easy to just kind of cohabitate, rather than having that really intimate relationship that we want to have as a married couple. Um, and so get away, and we would say at least once a year Now we're not talking about a full blown two weeks away. This was. We were gone for three days, but three days is refreshing and now I'm ready to get back home and get back into the routine of things. Um and it. It just helps keep our relationship fresh. So any other thoughts?

Speaker 2:

the way that date night builds security for your children by them seeing you invest in the primary relationship husband-wife, this is even more so. Tell the kids why you're going away. Don't apologize for going away. Especially if you got little children say mommy and daddy need to get away a little bit to invest in our relationship. That will build security in them. And then go out and do something real right. Put those phones down, put those ipads down. Don't be sitting there at dinner. Both you check your feed and all that stuff. Go touch some grass, go play some golf, go breathe some air, go go eat some caramel corn. Whatever it is that you do that makes up. You do it and have fun with it, but do something real and get out of that artificial electronic world that is sucking your soul out of your body. Okay, you're.

Speaker 1:

This relationship will be all the better for it and just like we say for date night, find something that's mutually enjoyable to both people. But you know what? Maybe something new would be mutually enjoyable to both people. You know, just because you're getting older doesn't mean you can't try new things. So you know, get on a map, find a place you want to go and set a time to get away with your honey and build that relationship.

Speaker 2:

And let's hear your ideas about the good getaway and isolation getaway not a full-on vacation, but a nice leash you get away in the comment section below. Just share your ideas with us. We'd love to have some new thoughts, especially the other folks who watch the comments yeah, maybe we'll go there and we'll thank you for sending us all right.

Speaker 1:

Well, I'm Megan Scheibner with my co-host, dr Steve Scheibner. This has been a quick on the road version of Death by Adulting, and remember, when it comes to adulting, what doesn't kill you, just makes you tired you.