Dismissed True Stories
Dismissed True Stories is a survivor-led podcast that dares to break the silence around domestic violence, emotional abuse, and toxic relationships. Each episode shares the raw, unfiltered realities of what abuse really looks like. From overlooked red flags to moments of escape, and everything in between.
Created by a survivor-turned-advocate with a broadcasting background, DTS is where stories once silenced are now spoken. Loudly, honestly, and without apology. We’re not here to sensationalize abuse; we’re here to humanize survivors.
You’ll hear from survivors finding their voices, families forever changed by loss, and organizations working to support healing and recovery. Sometimes, it’s one survivor passing the mic to another with a piece of advice that could change or.. save a life.
But DTS isn’t just about telling stories of survival. Each episode's commentary helps you decode your own story, make sense of your experiences, and see the patterns you might have missed while in survival mode.
The tone? Like talking with a trusted friend. No fluff. Just truth.
Whether you're navigating narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, or coercive control or you're in the process of rebuilding your self-worth and healing your trauma this space is for you.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is finally tell your own story.
Survivor-led. Heart-led. Truth-led.
#DismissedTrueStories | A podcast for survivors and victims, by survivors.
Dismissed True Stories
Transparency Is Key
What does freedom feel like after escaping an abusive relationship? Join us on 'Dismissed True Stories' as I recount my personal journey of survival and healing, five years after leaving an abusive relationship. This episode unveils the non-linear and often unpredictable path to reclaiming one's life, emphasizing the strength and resilience required. As we explore the transformative power of sharing these stories, I reflect on the dual challenges and empowerment that come with helping others narrate their experiences. Discover how community plays an indispensable role in healing and the joy of finding freedom again.
Healing from trauma is a complex journey, demanding patience and self-love. In this episode, I shed light on the crucial steps to manage anxiety and regulate the nervous system, from deep breathing techniques to solo dance parties and connecting with nature. Learn how setting boundaries and practicing self-compassion are essential for releasing years of trauma. Through personal anecdotes, I celebrate small victories and the importance of joyful activities. Everyone deserves to reclaim their happiness, and sharing these stories helps survivors feel seen and validated. Tune in to understand the messy yet beautiful process of healing and the endless possibilities that come with reclaiming one's life.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 OR text begin to 88788
Join the Sisterhood! The Survivor Sisterhood
Come join our community of survivors who are looking to meet someone just like you! See the behind the scenes work that goes into the sisterhood non-profit business, discuss DTS episodes, and of course find your survivor sister.
🔗 Follow Along:
Ready to share your story? Send me an email with the main talking points of your experience and I'll reach out to book an interview.
dismissedtruestories@thesurvivorsisterhood.com
Give DTS a 5 star rating! It helps this podcast reach other victims and survivors who NEED these stories! Help us find each other, help us heal, and help us find safety. Love you, mean it.
This episode of Dismissed True Stories is brought to you by Persephoneai. Persephoneai is an innovative and disruptive discreet app where you can more securely stash your evidence of abuse, Make static notes, upload attachments, import audio-video files and even request transcription and language translation. Transcription and language translation. Then export your full evidence, report on your timeline, SOS the police or even use it in court after your safe exit. You are not alone, and Persephone is here when you don't know who to tell. Find Persephoneai on Google Play or the App Store. In this episode, we will be hearing directly from a survivor as they recount their personal journey. Dismissed True Stories recognizes that discussion of abuse and trauma can evoke strong emotional responses and it may be triggering for some listeners. Listener, discretion is advised. Hey, I'm Elissa and this is Dismiss True Stories the podcast.
Speaker 1:This podcast was born from the idea that when I was a little girl, I wanted to be a war reporter in the sense that I just really wanted to talk about the things that matter in the world.
Speaker 1:And when I ended up walking away from my professional broadcasting career and into an abusive relationship, I realized that victims and survivors really do fight their own wars at home.
Speaker 1:I volunteer with a local domestic violence shelter in my city and as I was putting on a vigil for the lives lost to domestic violence last year, I stumbled upon a story that will forever stick with me.
Speaker 1:I did the research to find this victim's family, since she is no longer with us, and one sentence kept rattling around in my brain Let them tell their story. And while I haven't worked up the confidence to get in touch with her family just yet, I want this podcast to not only be about the survivors who lived and escaped, but the stories from the family members of victims who, unfortunately, are no longer with us. I sat on this idea for almost a year before I decided to randomly make a TikTok video asking for survivors to come forward and share their stories of survivorship, and what happened next was completely and totally unexpected. Women came forward sending me their stories of survival, telling me that they were so sick and tired of being quiet, Because what happens so often is that survivors are silenced, People aren't ready or equipped to handle their truth or sometimes simply they just don't want to make the time. But now, on Dismissed True Stories, we're making the time.
Speaker 2:First, let's start with resilience. You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only option, and bouncing back from adversity it has became a huge hallmark of my character. The strength I found within myself to endure and overcome challenges amazes me to no end. And then there's the empowerment and the reclaiming control over my life again and making decisions for myself, as myself again, and it's like rediscovering your own power, piece by piece, and putting all the pieces together and being a superhero. Each step towards independence has a victory, and those victories instill such a profound sense of empowerment and genuinely believing in yourself again, even if it's just a little, is an incredible feeling.
Speaker 3:One of my most absolute favorite things of seeing you recover from the horrific abuse that you endured was to see that light return to your beautiful eyes. I knew then that you were beginning to turn the corner and you were on the journey to heal.
Speaker 4:I believe we are coming up on our villain era. I feel like all the survivors are slowly transitioning to becoming and embracing the villain, and I love that for us. I love that for us.
Speaker 1:Hey, it's just me today. I want to be completely honest and transparent this episode. I feel like episode six is a really good place just to kind of pause and take a breather and talk about the healing journey, because I've begun to notice that while I'm doing interviews with survivors I really just switch into this mode where I'm really just focused on getting the story and then afterwards, while I'm editing, I start to understand just how messed up the survivor situation was and then it starts to weigh really heavily on me because I'm like, wow, why didn't I see this? In the moment it's kind of like shame for not connecting. But I think it's also this almost like survival mode that I switch into, knowing that I'm going to have a heavy and hard conversation, putting my walls up and just focusing on getting through the interview. And I don't mean that as any disrespect to any of the survivors that I have spoken with, because honestly I love you all so much. You are absolutely incredible women. Your stories have no doubt helped other women not only identify if they're in an abusive situation, but to feel seen and heard and validated, which I think is the number one thing that we all need as survivors. You've heard me say it so many times, and I'm going to keep saying it, that healing happens in community. We truly do need each other.
Speaker 1:I'm coming up on five years of being away from my abusive relationship and I'm telling you there is something so special about five. I don't know what it is. I just feel so different, so much lighter and so much more free. I can't exactly put into words what I am feeling, but all I can tell you is that it's exciting. It's exciting to move into this different chapter. I've been in the house that we live in now for three years and I've been terrified to touch it, to make it my own, to make changes, to decorate the way that I want to, because I'm living with another man and while Victor if you follow me on my socials, you've met him before is the most kind and gentle man who would never make me feel bad about my choices or if I decide to put a different color on the wall, it's still intimidating and I think that's what healing for survivors is. Overall. It's intimidating. It's the unknown, and I think that's so triggering because in our relationship there was always the unknown. The only thing that we did know is that our abuser was going to abuse us.
Speaker 1:Healing isn't linear and it's definitely not an easy journey. It is messy and just as unpredictable. I like to control outcomes. I like having that control, and I think that that's normal for survivors, because we were so out of control before, and not necessarily in our own actions, but we couldn't control somebody else's. I've noticed that women, specifically, are coming to this place, where we all might be entering our villain eras and it's so funny because we call it a villain era, but really it's just us standing up for ourself and setting boundaries and learning how to love ourselves fully and entirely, probably for the first time in our lives.
Speaker 1:There are some days that I feel so disconnected from this work, and I know it's because it's heavy. It's a heavy thing to carry, to constantly hear stories that may remind you of your own, that remind you that you didn't have it that bad, and I'm constantly in this place of telling myself that we don't compare traumas and I know that deep down inside that we don't, because trauma is trauma is trauma. But at the heart and the core of it all, we are survivors and we deeply and desperately need each other for every step along the way, I think, where a lot of creators mess up is that they make life look so aesthetic Healing after abuse. Life look so aesthetic Healing after abuse. It's so pretty when in reality it's not. Some days I can't get off the couch, some days I absolutely sob in the shower, and other days are absolutely beautiful, and those are the days that I live for and the days that you have to live for too.
Speaker 1:Healing is messy. Healing from abuse isn't easy, it's not linear and it's definitely not something that happens overnight. The journey has its ups and downs and sometimes it feels like the path is clear and you have all of your own answers. You look up there's not a cloud in the sky, it's bright blue and the sun is shining. Everything feels like it has fallen into place for you. And then other days, like I said, I can't get off the couch and the sky is full of fog and I can't even see my own hands in front of my face. I feel lost and confused and just absolutely drowning in my own thoughts. Lost and confused and just absolutely drowning in my own thoughts.
Speaker 1:And for the longest time, probably about a year or two, I thought that the hardest part of healing would be dealing with the memories of the abuse itself, the moments of the fear, the pain and the despair. And don't get me wrong, that shit sucks and the memories are incredibly, incredibly hard to face. They haunt you in your dreams, in your flashbacks, in your emotional triggers, they make you question your worth and they try to convince you that you are broken. But for me, it turns out that the hardest part is something else entirely. The hardest part was the moment that I began to question myself, the moment that I began to open the doors to self-awareness and to ask myself questions like well, why did I stay for so long and what in the hell made me think that I deserved it? How did I let this happen to me?
Speaker 1:It's so easy to have a monster in your story, to blame them and to be angry I mean, once you get to the point of allowing yourself to be angry. But then there's this other part where you get through your anger and you start to maybe the word would be psychoanalyze that other person. You start to understand why they are the way that they are, all while questioning yourself and starting to understand why you are the way that you are. And it's crazy because your self-blame and your guilt from. That situation can be very overwhelming. All of a sudden, they're not the monster in your story and you are the monster inside your story. You're the villain that you can't quite shake off. The villain is your own self-doubt and your shame and your guilt over staying for so long, over not loving yourself and healing.
Speaker 1:Healing means coming to terms with that. It means recognizing that staying wasn't a choice made out of weakness, but out of your own survival. And we stay because we believe that things will get better, because we hope for change, because we're afraid and because we love. And none of that makes us weak or foolish. It only makes us human. So if you are struggling, if you feel disconnected from life, I just want to give you a few tips, a few words of encouragement and let you know that you're not alone, because when I was going through the process and I still am I really wish that I had a survivor sister to tell me that I wasn't alone and that everything was really going to be okay and that things were going to work out for me.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about the things that I do when I'm feeling like I'm struggling or I'm feeling like I'm really triggered. One of the most crucial steps has been regulating my nervous system. I made it number one priority because I truly believe that being present and in the moment and not in my head and worrying about the past or the future has made me slow down. Because when you've lived through trauma, your body is constantly on high alert. So let's talk about that for a second. When you've been through trauma, your body gets stuck in survival mode. As you probably know, you're probably still in it right now. I know I am five years later.
Speaker 1:I don't want to discourage you on your healing process because it looks different for everybody, but some days it feels like I'm just living my life with my foot on the gas pedal and I'm just constantly revving my engine. It's exhausting. I just want to go, go, go, go go Because, to be completely honest with you, I felt like I wasted so much time in an abusive relationship and now I'm just so behind on life. I just got to keep going and eventually the car is going to break down or it's going to run out of gas, and I don't want to get to that point. So I look at regulating my nervous system as learning to hit the brakes, learning to slow down and actually go the speed limit, because this isn't the ND500. This is life and it's meant to be lived in the present moment, to let my body know that it's safe.
Speaker 1:That's been a game changer, and this might sound cliche, but one of the most effective tools for me has been deep breathing. I learned to check in with myself, check in with my body. Once, twice, three times a day. I just take five minutes with myself and I ask myself Liss, how are you feeling, where do you feel it in your body and what do you need? When I feel that surge of anxiety, I just take a moment to close my eyes and breathe deeply. It seems so simple, but yet it truly works. And don't forget to touch grass. All right, we tell each other that all the time, but we say it for a reason. We know that nature holds the medicine. She is the cure. And also I want to point out the fact that I shake my ass. I used to put on my headphones and have solo dance parties in my bedroom at like 3 am while my son was sleeping, and it felt so good because I felt like I was just shaking off all of the years of abuse and trauma. I was just letting it go.
Speaker 1:So go, be present, do the things that bring you joy, because it's not selfish. It's not selfish to put yourself first Just one thing a day. Can you promise yourself that? Because I promise you that even one thing a day will make a world of a difference. And then there's self-love. It's the real glow up. It's the part where you start to see yourself not as the victim but as a survivor. See yourself not as the victim but as a survivor, as someone who is worried, worthy of love and respect and happiness. It's about treating yourself with kindness and compassion. It's about looking in the mirror and saying things like I am enough, I am strong and I accept myself for exactly where I am at.
Speaker 1:Self-love means setting boundaries and saying no when something doesn't feel right, listening to your intuition for once, because I know if you would have listened to that in the very beginning of your relationship, you never would have ended up there in the first place. You have your own answers. So surround yourself with people who light you up, who see your worth, and remember to celebrate your own victories on this journey to healing, no matter how small they are. I mean, I celebrated myself for getting myself contacts because I could finally see. And it's also about forgiving yourself for staying, for loving, for hoping, because none of those things make you any less. They make you resilient. So if you're on this journey with me, I want you to know that you're not alone.
Speaker 1:Healing is messy and it's hard, and it's not always pretty, but, damn it, it is incredibly beautiful at the same time, and it's always worth it. You are worth it. So keep taking those steps, no matter how small. Take those steps, one at a time, in the opposite direction of your abuser. Steal yourself some moments of peace. Please Remember to be present and to love yourself fiercely, because you're done playing it small. You're done putting everyone else ahead of you. Healing isn't just about moving on from the past. It's about reclaiming your life and your joy. It's about finding yourself again and realizing that you are so much more than what happened to you. You're a survivor. So until episode seven next Friday, take care of yourself, okay, because you deserve all the love and happiness in the world. Xoxo, elissa.
Speaker 5:The one thing maybe two things that saved my life and made my journey easier was music and the gym. They are not kidding when they say brokenhearted people go to the gym and once you know you can't not know. So once you get into a groove and you're doing it for a while, even if you quit and you go back, your body remembers the good feeling. It remembers that you took a time to love yourself, to give yourself time, and that was never more important to me than when I left my abusive marriage. You can do it. Just know that I love you.
Speaker 1:Hey, I'm Alyssa, the host of Dismissed True Stories, and if you like what you heard today, give me a five-star rating and hit that notification bell, because I do upload every Friday. If you are a survivor or you know someone who this podcast episode may resonate with, I ask that you share this with them. There is nothing quite like helping a survivor or a victim of abuse feel seen and heard and validated. It is extremely healing and helpful to the journey and the process after abuse. If you are a survivor and you're ready to share your truth, please follow me on my socials. I've included them in the footer of this episode. Send me your story, the Cliff Notes version, and I will get back with you. And, as always, thank you so much for being here. The world is truly a better place because you are in it.
Speaker 5:Thank you.
